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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Monday Night Open Thread

Monday Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  December 18, 201710:04 pm| 68 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I bought an ice cream maker and am making my first batch of home made ice cream. I made it last night and it chill in the fridge overnight, and now I am honest to goodness standing in front of it YELLING “FASTER.”

This may be the longest hour of my life.

I’m making vanilla and it has an odd color because I used unbleached sugar.

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68Comments

  1. 1.

    Manyakitty

    December 18, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Which brand did you buy? Mine is a Kitchen Aid, and it makes a “num, num, num” sound while it’s churning. Drives me NUTS! Dang thing is taunting me.

  2. 2.

    NotMax

    December 18, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    And people say that having pets produces a calming effect.

    ;)

  3. 3.

    Shakey Jake

    December 18, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    They can be quite loud. Hopefully, Cole kept the bowl in the freezer for a long time.

    Also: egg-based frozen custard or Philly style?

  4. 4.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 18, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    What up, SanFran juicers—where’s a good place to get chocolate mousse around Union Square?

    ETA: or am I mistaken and Union Square is actually in Oakland?

  5. 5.

    AnonPhenom

    December 18, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    *That Picture*
    Damn, I can’t stand Ramsey. He’s such an abusive prick.
    If I had to bet on who the next famous person to be outed for being a creepy, can’t keep in in his pants….

  6. 6.

    Lapassionara

    December 18, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    It has been in the freezer overnight? Even if not, eat it now! The curing is only for texture. Not flavor. Have some NOW! Then let us know what you think. Indulge!

  7. 7.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 18, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    seems like a lot of effort for vanilla

    I count every time I leave the grocery store without ice cream a small victory

    @AnonPhenom: when I heard rumors a chef was gonna be exposed, I thought for sure it was him, maybe Bourdain

  8. 8.

    NotMax

    December 18, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    No churning machinery needed ice cream.

  9. 9.

    Jeffro

    December 18, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Why are we making ice cream when so many wonderful flavors are readily available in the supermarket?

    This is like when I tried to make “Chik-fil-A” sandwiches at home (and got pretty close!): my brother was like, WTF, the nearest CFA is 3 miles from your house?

  10. 10.

    Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)

    December 18, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    My Garden of Eden short story pitch – which is mine – involves the fruit of good and evil also making Adam and Eve super high, they start wasting away in their newfound (demigodly?) brilliance, and after a while they get bored as fuck and break out of Eden. Only to be banned permanently, because you know.

    But it would all be worth it.

    Not yet sure on whether Adam and Eve should start as animalistically sexual, or become briefly sexual immediately after the fruit kicks in (before they start wasting away).

  11. 11.

    DanR2

    December 18, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    Don’t you make home made ice cream and eat it right away?

  12. 12.

    gene108

    December 18, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    THERE IS A BOB ROSS CHIA PET!!!!!

    WOOOOOOOOO!!!

  13. 13.

    CaseyL

    December 18, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    @DanR2: …with the raw cookie dough.*

    *Things people eat because they can’t wait for it to be “done.”

  14. 14.

    NotMax

    December 18, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)

    God appears in a puff of omniscience.

    ADAM & EVE: “Duuuuude!”

  15. 15.

    Lapassionara

    December 18, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    @DanR2: Yes, yes you do! Right away! What is he talking about?

  16. 16.

    opiejeanne

    December 18, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    @AnonPhenom: I don’t think he really is. The British version of that show was very different and he displayed a kindness that does not show at all in the Fox version.

  17. 17.

    Tom DeVries

    December 18, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    Had a hand-cranked machine and the kids got tired of cranking and bought me a Cuisinart. Totally better. Cut the amount of sugar called for in half, use evaporated milk and cream, add an egg.

  18. 18.

    sdhays

    December 18, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    I once went to a super fancy restaurant in DC where you spend $100 for food that doesn’t fill you up (company was paying). Mostly not my thing, BUT they had garam masala ice cream that was AMAZING! I’ve never seen it again. If I had an ice cream maker, that’s what I would make.

    Black Sesame ice cream is also really, really good, and it’s difficult to get stateside.

  19. 19.

    Miss Bianca

    December 18, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    Re-posting from moribund thread downstairs:

    Since this is an open thread,may I appeal to any legal fleagles in the crowd tonight who feel like pointing me in the right direction?

    Are there any cases in which county jurisdiction – not state, mind you,but county – has any sway over what happens on federally-owned land – such as national park, national forest, or BLM land? I was under the impression that for lawful activity on federal land – say, hunting, grazing, mineral extraction, what have you – the feds had jursidiction in all cases except perhaps criminal. A CO county attorney appears to think otherwise. It appears that we are rapidly approaching the point where I feel compelled to engage her on the subject. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi lawyers! You’re my only hope! Where should I look for case law or opinion on the subject?

  20. 20.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    December 18, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    Recently saw America’s Test Kitchen segment on ice cream makers (s17ep14).

    They recommend Cuisinart ICE-21 1.5 Quart Frozen Yogurt-Ice Cream Maker

  21. 21.

    randy khan

    December 18, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    @Lapassionara:

    I think he’s referring to the mix being in the fridge, which is the usual way.

    For those who are asking why make vanilla ice cream at home, fresh is different from boughten.

  22. 22.

    Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)

    December 18, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    @NotMax: What I was picturing was more a legitimately, and literally, rapturous high, though – albeit with the physical effects of opiates. (They actually are supposed to be becoming more knowledgeable; a stoner comedy this is not).

  23. 23.

    Another Scott

    December 18, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: It looks like it’s only about a 2 mile (maybe 40 minute) walk to Ghiradelli Square. Presumably you can get almost anything chocolate there. They give out free samples, also too (but I don’t know how late they’re open).

    Enjoy!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  24. 24.

    Mike J

    December 18, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Try Frankie Drake’s hotel.

  25. 25.

    Gravenstone

    December 18, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    @CaseyL: In college, my roommate and I would make two batches of chocolate chip cookie dough. One to bake, the second to eat raw while the first was baking.

  26. 26.

    Another Scott

    December 18, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    @Miss Bianca: IANAL, but my recollection is that Congress changed (or at least tried to change) rules in National Parks so that things like local gun permit regulations would apply in the adjacent NP. Let’s see… (Googlie-goo) E.g. (2 page .pdf).

    Unfortunately, you can’t assume that there aren’t some insane local laws that apply on Federal land anymore. There are likely other examples.

    Sorry.

    HTH.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  27. 27.

    Miss Bianca

    December 18, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    @NotMax: Ooh, I may have to dig out a hand mixer again just to try this!

  28. 28.

    debbie

    December 18, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’ve got a pint of Graeters peppermint stick and a jar of bittersweet chocolate sauce to celebrate the holidays. They ain’t latkes, but they’ll do.

  29. 29.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 18, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    @Another Scott: grazie

    @Mike J: grazie—that’s right across the street!

  30. 30.

    James E. Powell

    December 18, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    Given our host’s well known penchant for gustatory pleasures, I’m surprised it’s taken this long for him to get an ice cream maker.

  31. 31.

    Ohio Mom

    December 18, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    @debbie: There are a lot of mediocre latkes in the world but no mediocre Graeters. You are coming out ahead.

  32. 32.

    Lapassionara

    December 18, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    @randy khan: thanks. Home made is worth it, for sure.

  33. 33.

    Exurban Mom

    December 18, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    @Ohio Mom: She speaks the truth. Graeter’s is the sh*t.

  34. 34.

    Miss Bianca

    December 18, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @Another Scott: thanks, my particular case has to do with the county attorney thinking she has the right to try toget a local judge to ban certain hunting activity on federal land in her county.

  35. 35.

    rikyrah

    December 18, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Vanilla?
    I guess you gotta start somewhere??

  36. 36.

    Mike J

    December 18, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @James E. Powell:

    Given our host’s well known penchant for gustatory pleasures, I’m surprised it’s taken this long for him to get an ice cream maker.

    I expected him to have the kind you load up with rock salt and ice and make a kid crank.

  37. 37.

    Lapassionara

    December 18, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    @Miss Bianca: is this attorney a county prosecutor or the civil attorney for the county? State’s laws vary, but if the attorney is the civil advisor, why not ask what is going on?

  38. 38.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 18, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    thanks, my particular case has to do with the county attorney thinking she has the right to try toget a local judge to ban certain hunting activity on federal land in her county.

    Not my area of expertise, but that sounds like a Bundy-level argument. I’d be shocked if a county judge has any authority whatsoever on federal lands.

  39. 39.

    schrodingers_cat

    December 18, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    @sdhays: Have you had fresh kulfi? Last time I was in India, I went for weekend trip to the mountains (Lonavla) and there was a most amazing kulfi factory right across the street from where I was staying. Best flavors were mango and fig.

  40. 40.

    BeezusQ

    December 18, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    @Steve in the ATL:
    SF here…Union Square is in San Francisco…go up a bit from there to Rue Lepic…900 Pine. Or Beldin Lane to Cafe Bastille….

  41. 41.

    Miss Bianca

    December 18, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: IKR? And yet I’m told the judges have a habit of rubber-stamping whatever the county attorney puts in front of them.

  42. 42.

    debbie

    December 18, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    Yeah, it’ll have to do. ?

  43. 43.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 18, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    @Miss Bianca: judge can sign it, but who’s going to enforce it on federal land? Not the county cops.

  44. 44.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 18, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    @BeezusQ: Rue Lepic—merci bien!

  45. 45.

    sdhays

    December 18, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: Sounds delicious!

  46. 46.

    chopper

    December 18, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    I only make homemade when company is coming over.

  47. 47.

    chopper

    December 18, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    @debbie:

    learned a long time ago thatblatkes are only really worth it if they’re good. luckily i make a mean ass fucking latke.

  48. 48.

    Redshift

    December 18, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    If you make it using liquid nitrogen instead of an ice cream maker, it’s ready a lot faster.

    But given your track record of, um, accidents, it might be better just to wait…

  49. 49.

    SgrAstar

    December 18, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Scala’s has good chocolate desserts.

  50. 50.

    Amir Khalid

    December 19, 2017 at 12:09 am

    @Redshift:
    There’s no fire hazard with liquid nitrogen and it’s completely harmless in itself*, so it should be safe to handle for even the clumsiest blogger.

    *Breathing pure nitrogen does eventually result in anoxia, of course.

  51. 51.

    mattH

    December 19, 2017 at 12:17 am

    Stopped at a gelato place this summer and now I have a hard time eating ice cream. It’s worth the 25min drive and keeps me from overindulging.

  52. 52.

    Gravenstone

    December 19, 2017 at 12:36 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    There’s no fire hazard with liquid nitrogen and it’s completely harmless in itself

    No, no to the motherfucking NO! Liquid N2 is 1) a cryogenic liquid that will cause severe burns to the skin on anything beyond brief contact, and 2) a significant asphyxiation hazard without proper ventilation. As it boils off, it will displace normal air and you can easily find yourself in an oxygen depleted environment. If you cannot remove yourself from that environment you will pass out, then be dead within minutes. I’ve worked frequently with the material professionally and we have all manner of safety regs that have to be adhered to.

  53. 53.

    Miss Bianca

    December 19, 2017 at 12:45 am

    @Lapassionara: civil attorney. Let’s just say she’d be unlikely to want to talk to me.

  54. 54.

    Amir Khalid

    December 19, 2017 at 1:03 am

    @Gravenstone:
    I stand corrected. But in the small quantities one would use to make ice cream, it should be reasonably safe, shouldn’t it?.

  55. 55.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 19, 2017 at 1:04 am

    @Amir Khalid: In Cole’s hands?!!!!!!

  56. 56.

    Gretchen

    December 19, 2017 at 1:07 am

    I hope it’s really good.

  57. 57.

    Gretchen

    December 19, 2017 at 1:13 am

    @BeezusQ: I love your name. How’s Ramona?

  58. 58.

    Sister Golden Bear

    December 19, 2017 at 1:16 am

    @Steve in the ATL:

    What up, SanFran juicers—where’s a good place to get chocolate mousse around Union Square?

    Don’t have any specific recommendations, but here’s some possibilities:
    https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=best+chocolate+mousse&find_loc=San+Francisco,+CA&start=0&l=g:-122.39876747131348,37.79164471566208,-122.4122428894043,37.78316582681011

    Although if you go to The Cheesecake Factory, the Bay Area BJers will have a special meet-up to stage an intervention.

    ETA: or am I mistaken and Union Square is actually in Oakland?

    Union Square is in SF, but there’s a Jack London Square in Oakland that you might be thinking of.

    FWIW, Union Square this time of year will be packed. Lots of people there to see the Christmas tree, the window displays at Macy’s, and the ice skating rink. It’s a fun experience, as long as you don’t need to park within a few miles of there. (Last year, I had to go a medical appointment a block away, and while trying to find parking, I discovered there’s levels to the Sutter-Stockton garage I didn’t even know existed.)

  59. 59.

    Amir Khalid

    December 19, 2017 at 2:15 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Good point.

  60. 60.

    BC in Illinois

    December 19, 2017 at 2:17 am

    @mattH:

    There’s a great gelato place on S Grand Avenue in St Louis. The “Gelateria”

  61. 61.

    Aleta

    December 19, 2017 at 2:21 am

    @Steve in the ATL:
    Palace Hotel on Union Square, Garden Court Restaurant, (ask for a mousse and see if they’ll make you one) If not, there’s a dark chocolate torte. The bar room, the Pied Piper, also has some food.

    ETA. It’s very sparkly. (Chandeliers)

  62. 62.

    Tim in SF

    December 19, 2017 at 3:05 am

    The problem with ice cream makers is the recipe. I spent years experimenting until I found one that didn’t taste greasy or too this or that. Here it is:

    http://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/spicy-mexican-chocolate-ice-cream-287657

    I tried another variation where I left out all the chocolate, cinnamon and pepper and it worked, too, so now I use that as a base for other flavors.

    Good luck!

  63. 63.

    Tim in SF

    December 19, 2017 at 3:08 am

    @Sister Golden Bear: You want to go to Smitten in Hayes Valley. It’s not far. It is made with liquid nitrogen. Interesting flavors. Fun to watch them make it. Absolutely delicious.

  64. 64.

    HeartlandLiberal

    December 19, 2017 at 7:21 am

    Among my fondest memories, growing up in rural Alabama, on our mini=farm, was making homemade peach ice cream. My brothers and I took turns cranking the old classic hand cranked ice cream churn.

  65. 65.

    J R in WV

    December 19, 2017 at 9:53 am

    @Miss Bianca:

    Would this have to do with a certain Wild Hunt group, of which you are a member? Running horses across the wilderness, seeking evildoers to take to the Fairie Queene to be punished as only wild ellven Faririe Queens can ppunish? And coyotes… ?
    …Maybe?…

  66. 66.

    Miss Bianca

    December 19, 2017 at 9:56 am

    @J R in WV: Shhh! They’ll HEAR you! > : >

  67. 67.

    J R in WV

    December 19, 2017 at 9:58 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    I thought you were so full up with sarcasm about it that it was a huge joke. Liquid nitrogen all over the kitchen floor, with mops and barking dogs. All frozen solid. Stuck to the handrubbed floor, which as brittle as can be from the temps, crackeled and brokens as it falls into the basement….. Not?

    ETA: Plus, with those temperatures, the ice cream would be harder than concrete, impossible to spoon, and toxic if you put it in your mouth. Instantly freezingzs of important parts of your body, necessary for eating and drinking and breathing.

  68. 68.

    Uncle Cosmo

    December 19, 2017 at 10:24 am

    @Gravenstone: Burns, my arse – I wager that the primary concern would be All-Thumbs Cole pouring the stuff on his hands by accident & then watching in horror as his fingers break off.

    (FTR I have the world’s lamest hand-eye coordination & would never go nearer that stuff than I could get with a backhoe.)

    Anyone have a recipe for diabetic-friendly sugar-free halfway-edible homemade ice cream? That’s the only thing that would even tempt me to try & find storage space for one of those machines. (Not that I’d expect anyone in this jackal-pack of sugar-&-starch addicts would – you’re all busy helping TaMara-TaMara-I’ll-be-there-TaMara flesh out the recipe list for her soon-to-be-released Balloon-Juice Death To Diabetics Cookbook.)

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