Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

I would gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

That meeting sounds like a shotgun wedding between a shitshow and a clusterfuck.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

“They all knew.”

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

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171Comments

  1. 1.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Brian Stelter Retweeted GlibandBitchy
    I asked MSNBC for comment — the network says @JoanWalsh is a “key voice” — “Every year we review our paid contributors list across the ideological spectrum. Unfortunately we couldn’t renew Joan, but she and her distinct perspective will still be invited on our shows.”

    “couldn’t”

    “ideological spectrum”– they had to pay Peggy Noonan a lot of money for those sweet, sweet Magic Dolphin quality takes?

  3. 3.

    Omnes Omnibus

    i just finished wrapping presents. Time for a shower and then I am off. Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it.

  4. 4.

    NotMax

    Taking good things where we find them department:

    Unexpected holiday present was discovering the AccuRadio channel on the Roku has now added an all-Haydn stream.

    (Also an all-klezmer stream – although personal prescription is for smaller doses of that one.)

  5. 5.

    Miss Bianca

    @Omnes Omnibus: Merry Christmas to you, too! I am girding my loins for a trip to Canon City for a round of shopping/present-purchasing.

    Not hanging around the evening threads as much as I used to – having to get up at oh-dark-Husky every morning is making me go to bed early – so happy to ‘see’ you IRL again, finally!

  9. 9.

    opiejeanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Merry Christmas to you too.

    I need to figure out a vegetable for Christmas Eve supper. Something that’s not going to make me sweat, since I’m already committed to the roast beast and Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes (we grew the taters) and I think I have the start of a sore throat.

  11. 11.

    frosty

    @germy: She’s got the height on him. Maybe she should have just hauled off and slapped him across the face. It would be a scene, of course, but one that I think deserves to be made.

    “I work in the private sector” so she can’t do anything to him. What an ass.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    @Miss Bianca

    :)

    Do like to put on that Roku channel when am in the mood for background music. Must be 500+ different streams (and no ads), plus if a selection comes up I don’t care for, can click ‘Skip’ and move immediately to whatever the next one is.

  13. 13.

    Major Major Major Major

    There were pamphleteers in front of the train station with literature that said “does it feel like the world is out of control?” I said to my husband “what apocalyptic cult do you think this is?” and they turned around and gave me a dirty look.

  16. 16.

    raven

    The replacement tickets for the rose parade had to be overnighted FEDEX but they got here so I was able to UPS them to the people who bought them from me on time. It cost me some dough to do the overnight but I still get most of that back and the people who bought them get to go to the parade too! It’s been 2 weeks since I ordered them so they must be lost in the mail. Now all that is left is to drive to Virginia for 2 days, come back and fly to LA nest Friday. Maybe I can get a little more sleep now.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    @opiejeanne

    the roast beast

    There was a so-so one-shot comic book parody of the ElfQuest series from which one bit of business still is remembered.

    The elves gathering up a party to head out and hunt the coveted “lunchbeast.”

    As you’re roasting anyway, throwing in a tray of green beans or Brussels sprouts to roast at the end wouldn’t seem likely to generate an appreciable uptick in sweat.

  23. 23.

    zhena gogolia

    @raven:

    Yeah, that’s my answer too. My husband knows how to cook them just right. They don’t distract from the main attraction, the meat.

  25. 25.

    donnah

    All my family is coming home, so I’m giddy. No news, no politics, just food, games, and hanging out. One son drove in from Charlotte, beating the snow by hours, my brother flew in from Vegas, and my sis and niece will be here from California on Christmas Day. My two other sons who live here in town will also join the fun.

    Corny but true, all the gifts won’t matter if my family is here to share the holiday.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

  26. 26.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Sheldon Whitehouse @ SenWhitehouse
    Why the increased attacks on FBI’s McCabe? Looks like someone has figured out he corroborates Comey against Trump. This is targeted. As were POTUS’s Comey tweets. As is anti-Mueller campaign.

    Susan Hennessy @ Susan_Hennessey
    Senior FBI officials with whom Comey reportedly discussed Trump’s obstruction efforts at the time include Andy McCabe, Jim Baker, and Jim Rybicki. All are now targets of GOP smear campaigns. Draw your own conclusions.

  28. 28.

    Left Handed Lizzy

    Good morning! I got an unusually well-done email from Democrats.org this morning, titled “Find out how Trump’s tax plan affects you”. I wish I could figure out how to link to it, but I can’t. But it’s got lots of clear, infographic type information, complete with colorful cartoon people of various ethnicities: “Here’s how the tax bill affects your family members. Your grandparents who are retired. Your parents who own your childhood home…” etc. Looks like something punchy that might appeal to the younger folks.

  33. 33.

    Felony Govt (Formerly Old Broad in California)

    Good morning! I got an unusually well-done email from Democrats.org this morning, titled “Find out how Trump’s tax plan affects you”. I wish I could figure out how to link to it, but I can’t. But it’s got lots of clear, infographic type information, complete with colorful cartoon people of various ethnicities: “Here’s how the tax bill affects your family members. Your grandparents who are retired. Your parents who own your childhood home…” etc. Looks like something punchy that might appeal to the younger folks.

  35. 35.

    donnah

    @raven:

    My son said the traffic in and around Charlotte was horrible, which means worse than usual. But they shouldn’t have snow, like we’re getting in SW Ohio. Be safe!

  36. 36.

    opiejeanne

    @raven: I figured I’d end up doing Brussels sprouts. I roast them every year now. Probably the easiest thing I can produce.

  37. 37.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @opiejeanne: how about cauliflower or broccoli? Easier to clean and cooks faster, don’t they? or asparagus. I love sprouts but I hate cleaning them

  38. 38.

    opiejeanne

    @donnah: We are promised snow on Christmas Eve/Day in Seattle, but I’m sure they’ll take that away from us just like they did on Thursday.

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    *le sigh*

    Guess I have to brave the shopping center parking lot to head to the post office today, during the whopping two hours they’re open on Saturdays.

    Found a USPS package from Amazon on the porch yesterday. Not my name, not my address, correct town. Called up Amazon and they said they could do nothing. As it well might be a Xmas present, looked up the phone of the person it is addressed to and tried calling multiple times. No answer, no voice mail or message machine.

    Really didn’t want to go anywhere – as mentioned late in last thread, more than somewhat non-mobile today.

  40. 40.

    geg6

    @opiejeanne:

    Green Beans Almondine. Tasty and easy as anything can be. I am making them for our family dinner, alongside my honey roasted carrots. Obviously, I was put in charge of the veggie sides.

  41. 41.

    raven

    @donnah: Did he go up 77? We’ve driven it so many times we know what to expect. We could go up and through Asheville and over to Blacksburg but it’s all a crap shoot.

  43. 43.

    opiejeanne

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: We had a mixture of all three on Thursday for the salmon party and it was good; I suppose we could do that again. (We always have a baked stuffed salmon when my son comes to visit. I suspect it’s the only time he has salmon and he loves it, so we had a party because he has to leave for home early on Christmas Eve.)

  46. 46.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    Madame has been delivered to Mr. Macy’s Funhouse and Lobotomy Clinic, I’ve had my scrambled eggs with bacon and cheese, I’m going to shower and go to the Huntington.

    ETA: Tonight, I need to get the roasts ready for cooking tomorrow.

  47. 47.

    donnah

    @raven:

    Yep, 77 to 64 to 35 to get back to Dayton. He drove in the rain almost the whole way, but the worst traffic was getting out of Charlotte and some slowdowns in Virginia. It rained here overnight and it turned to snow this morning.

    Opiejeanne, I hope you get some snow! In safe amounts, of course.

  61. 61.

    Gator90

    Raising children has been so exhausting and consuming that I have an increasingly hard time remembering my life before they arrived. In a weirdly similar way, the pre-Trump era in American politics is rapidly getting hazy. I vaguely recall a smart black guy with a funny name, but not much more than that.

  62. 62.

    Brendan in NC

    @raven: As a Charlotte resident, I’ll let you know that they’re doing a big construction project on 77 here. Don’t get me started on this “toll lane” project. Down to 2 lanes in some places. Traffic wasn’t too bad a little while ago, but…

  64. 64.

    Jager

    After I sold my business at age 70, I sat home for a year and got really, really depressed. My doc suggested maybe I should find a job. My old man was a car dealer, he offered to take me in as a partner way back in the 70’s, I turned him down. With that in mind, I thought what the hell, let’s see if I can sell cars. I got the job. A close friend, who my old man had started in the car business, over the years owned 50 stores, told me, the biggest problem the business has is bad management. I seriously kicked ass, by the third month I was the number one sales guy, my Customer Satisfaction Index was the best in the zone. My friend was right, the management sucked. Over the 18 months I sold cars, we had 5 different sales managers, of the 5, 4 were jerks. The first month I was number one in sales, my brother sent me a plaque Chevrolet presented my dad inducting him into the Chevrolet Truck Sales Hall of Fame. My brother attached a post-It that said, “Top this Asshole” I took the plaque to work one day and showed it around. One of the sales managers told me to “put that piece of junk away, it’s got nothing to do with you.” Over time, this guy made a habit of pissing me off, nasty remarks, a touch of ageism, like, “we’re people excited when the the Model T came out?” He made doing any kind of a deal agony. I sold a guy a new 3/4 ton truck one afternoon, did everything my self and turned it in to the sales manager. He was pissed at me for not getting him involved.. I told him, “It’s done, there is plenty of profit in it, sign off so I can take the client to finance, He kept going on and on. I handed the deal to the other sales manager and told the guy to shut the hell up and walked out of the store. Three days later I got my final check and my license in the mail along with a letter of apology from the GM. I worked my ass off, Over 200 hours a month, weekends, 12 hour days back to back every other week. That’s a bitch to do at 72, on the other hand, if it wasn’t for the shit sales management I’d probably still be doing it. I flat out loved working with 90% of the clients. Going to be nice to be home around the fire with family and friends this Christmas Eve.

  68. 68.

    Alain the site fixer

    @rikyrah: thanks, it’s been a mix of joy and too much sadness. But each day is a bit better. For an only child, son of an amazing mom, it’s quite tough so far. But I get that it hurts so much because it was so great. As so many have said the past year, I don’t want to be in this timeline. I’d give pretty much anything, tbh

  69. 69.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    I’m having a sugar high. Just ate one of the cookies that was decorated by the granddaughter last night. She had rather a heavy hand with the colored sugar sprinkles.

    Her Mom has to resort to threats to get her to allow other people to decorate.

    Actually the next two days are pretty intensely busy for us, till 10 pm Sunday night, as the wife is a church musician.

  70. 70.

    NotMax

    @Major Major Major Major

    There’s an etiquette?  :)

    Was listening at the time and was totally taken aback. A true “WTF? Did I really just hear that?” moment. Movie opened on a Wednesday, so it might have been Wed. or Thurs., certainly no later.

  73. 73.

    gene108

    @Major Major Major Major:

    We spent a lot of time on the elementary school playground debating, if Darth Vader was Luke’s father. Most of thought no way could Vader be Luke’s father, except my older brother, who said it had to be true.

    Or I guess 5th graders are a bit more worldly wise than us 1st graders.

  74. 74.

    J R in WV

    @Jager:

    Dude, maybe you should open up a classy used car lot? Find a good mechanic to keep the merchandise clean mechanically, share profits with him, small staff… Keep you busy, provide a good service to the area. Rent space, offer to buy clean cars in ads, etc.

    Just a thought. One way not to deal with shitty managers stupid enough to fire their best producer… Jeez that’s dumb and self-defeating. Or try selling something else you know a little about?

  75. 75.

    germy

    .@joanwalsh was the first person to ever pay me to write, back when she was the editor of @salon. She is now my friend, my incredibly valued colleague and my documentary partner. She belongs on the air speaking, especially in times like these. We need progressive women's voices.— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) December 23, 2017

  76. 76.

    CaseyL

    Christmas socializing is now halved, since one open house I was hoping to attend conflicted with another event. That means no frantic dash to the store for a host/ess present, which is fine because the people I was going to visit are very difficult to buy for (we were good friends many years ago, but the relationship has attenuated since then).

    Christmas tends to be a low key thing for me. Most of my closest friends have family they visit, and my own family is scattered across the globe.

    Happy hols to all!

  78. 78.

    trollhattan

    @Jager:
    Sales, distilled into a single (if lengthy) paragraph.

    You had fun and were engaged while not side-stepping the HAIC (head asshole in charge). Maybe there’s somewhere else to go where they’re not mimicking Glenngarry Glenn Ross.

  81. 81.

    John Revolta

    @Major Major Major Major: I’m pretty sure the “spoiler” concept is a byproduct of the internet. In fact I vaguely recall people being all “Wow, did you hear about…………….” back in the day.

    Occasionally a movie would be all “Don’t tell your friends the surprise ending!!” but that’s about it.

  84. 84.

    Jager

    @J R in WV:

    I’m toying with the idea of brokering high end used cars, like putting together a person who wants a nice used Porsche or Benz with a seller, arranging the paperwork, transportation, etc. No investment, make your own hours. It would be fun to do.

  88. 88.

    NotMax

    @trollhattan

    Imagine the reaction of someone new to English.

    “Have you seen Fred and Ralph?”

    “Yeah. They’re chewing the fat over the water cooler.”

    :)

  95. 95.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    To any sportsfans among you, did the NHL just fall off the planet? Do they even do the NHL replays on Sportscenter?

  96. 96.

    Ruckus

    @Jager:
    I’ve noticed over my time that bad management is 3 things.
    1. A key bottle neck or a massive help into getting the job done right.
    2. Management isn’t hard but like any other task one has to want to do it, have the skills, recognize and learn from mistakes (both theirs and others), and practice, practice, practice.
    3. Recognize that every job has a place and isn’t above or below you or anyone else.
    4. This is common to management, workers and owners, DON’T BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. At least not with very good reason.

  98. 98.

    tobie

    Did anyone hear what seems like cherry-picked data that 6 deputies of Mueller contributed over $60K to Democrats and only $2700 to Republicans? I heard this in passing and wasn’t sure what to make of it. I assume these 6 deputies were cherry-picked by Republicans and their contribution history was leaked to make it look like the Mueller team is biased. Would be nice if the media would indicate how many people work on the Mueller team and the political affiliation, if not the name, of the leaker.

  99. 99.

    JPL

    @germy: I just returned from a visit with a friend’s son, whose daughter is kindergarten with a diverse group of children. He and his fiancee are so pleased at the education she is receiving in a public school outside of DC.
    The idea that they are printing that the orange one is a racist pig is hardly news. Nigerians tend to be the most educated immigrants, and his pea brain wouldn’t measure up to theirs.

  103. 103.

    Mnemosyne

    @John Revolta:

    G found out that Darth Vader was Luke’s father while standing in line for pre-movie ice cream — the people ahead of him had just seen it and were (loudly) talking about it.

    We’re going to go see a matinee of TLJ next week to see if it’s as good as we thought or if it was just the shock of the new.

  104. 104.

    Aleta

    @Jager: We hear about high end cars that don’t lose as much resale value, but a lot of us don’t have the knowledge to be confident about buying them. A consultant, advisor or locator would be very useful.

  108. 108.

    Ruckus

    @JPL:

    and his pea brain wouldn’t measure up to theirs.

    Or any other part or characteristic. I would have included personality, but whatever it is he has really doesn’t measure up.

  112. 112.

    James E. Powell

    @tobie:

    I can’t watch Rove without wanting to smack him in the face with a 2 by 4. The only exception was watching his 2012 election night meltdown. I was schadenfreude watching FOX to watch them call the election for Obama, but I got more than I ever expected. I DVR’d it and watched it several times.

  113. 113.

    trollhattan

    @debbie: @Mnemosyne:
    I promise not to listen, but assume Karl’s conducting some kind of Rovian reverse-psychology on Dems?

    Do the opposite of whatever Karl says. In his world, Trump is the Worst Situation Ever [short of Dems being in charge, that really sucks].

    Luntz knows what Republican voters actually think of Trump. Dems should find out too, and soon.

  115. 115.

    tobie

    @James E. Powell: Schadenfreudelicious is my favorite neologism of the season! May the new year be filled with Schadenfreude-delights for Dems, like Rove’s meltdown on FOX in Nov 2012.

  116. 116.

    trollhattan

    @James E. Powell:
    Sending Megyn’s legs to the brain room was performance art of the highest order. His shouting “I have the numbers” at the NPR interviewer on the eve of the ’06 election was pretty epic as well. Nice numbers, Karl.

  117. 117.

    J R in WV

    @Jager:

    There’s a guy who writes for Jalopnik.com who does that, mostly for new cars. Advises people who describe their wishes about other cars to try out, makes a price with a dealer anywhere, charges a flat $500 per transaction. He stays away from older collectible cars, but will do late model used cars. Tom McParland. What Car Should You Buy is the column he writes, and there’s a ton of comments after each one. He takes on the effort of making a price from the buyer, advises on how the car the buyer started out thinking of fits the things the buyer wants to get from a car. Take a look.

  118. 118.

    Mnemosyne

    @James E. Powell:

    Sadly, that hilarious moment led directly to the disaster of 2016 since it made Rove realize that his efforts to gerrymander the whole damn country were not quite complete and he needed to suppress even more voters to win the EC with a minority of votes.

    I’m surprised that anyone lets him on the air without discussing how the voter suppression schemes that he masterminded caused Trump’s election, but then I remembered that he only goes to friendly media who never dare to question his “genius” in ensuring a Republican would win 2016 regardless of who that Republican was.

  119. 119.

    GregB

    This latest NYT piece has me convinced that hslf of these stories are being used to keep people chasing after shiny shit and exhausting the stores of outrage.

  124. 124.

    Mike in DC

    @JPL:
    Not coincidental that this is coming out after some high profile departures and with more coming. Someone wanted some payback on the way out.

  126. 126.

    Gravenstone

    @Major Major Major Major: I’d hoped I’d gotten on the local JW group’s “do not provoke” list last summer when I politely told one of them to piss up a rope and stop bothering me. Alas, no. I’ve since gotten at least one Watchtower shoved inside the front door, and another brave soul to actually knock while I was here.

  127. 127.

    rikyrah

    Democrats Must Reject the Coming Bipartisanship Trap
    by David Atkins December 23, 2017

    Misbehaving dogs, mischievous children and cheating spouses all share a common behavior: once they’ve been caught behaving cruelly and selfishly, they swindle their victim with ersatz overtures of affection, often publicly in front of others. Refusing these overtures makes the victim look mean and unforgiving. Accepting them opens the door to further, more aggressive wrongdoing.

    Republicans are set to engage in the same manipulative game with Democrats in 2018. Knowing that voters are set to punish them severely for promoting wildly corrupt and unpopular policies, they’re hoping to ploy Democrats with promises of bipartisan policy. Republicans expect that if they offer false olive branches and Democrats refuse them, voters will grow angry at everyone and throw up their hands in collective frustration. They assume the media will pliantly adopt their usual both-sides-refuse-to-work-together template pieces.

    But it won’t work. If Democrats are smart they will reject the gambit and refuse to be played.

    To be sure, there are many issues that will require basic compromises in the next legislative year so that vulnerable people are protected and so that the government continues to function. Budgets will need to be adopted, DACA will need to be dealt with, the children’s health insurance program re-extended, debt ceilings lifted, and much else. Republicans will need Democratic votes, and Democrats should use all the leverage they can to force Republicans to observe the minimum priorities in keeping with simple human decency.

    But the GOP has already demonstrated shocking bad faith in the past two years that goes beyond political differences and veers into direct and open malevolence. Republicans in Congress and their media allies have gone far out of their way to protect a clearly incompetent and unstable president from investigations into crimes of state, collusion with a hostile foreign power, abuse of power, obstruction of justice, tax evasion and beyond. They have done so by attempting to lambaste the country’s own intelligence agencies and employees–even Republicans who were appointed by other Republicans–as somehow in league with Democrats and engaged in a coup against the president, even though the reality is that partisan FBI agents in the New York leaked a bogus October Surprise on Anthony Weiner’s laptop to conservative media figures, shifting the election to Trump at the last minute.

  132. 132.

    Faithful Lurker

    @opiejeanne: I haven’t made my way down all the comments, so this may have been posted before. After you wash brussell sprouts and trim them, if needed, cut a cross hatch in the stem end and dump them in a bowl with baking soda and water, proportions don’t seem to matter, let them soak for 10 or 15 minutes, then rinse and cook however you like. It takes out any harsh taste and makes the sweetest sprouts you’ve ever tasted.
    Happy holidays everyone. Now back to lurking.

  135. 135.

    trollhattan

    @Mnemosyne:
    I tried asking “Which one of you’s going to explain to my kid why she doesn’t get to celebrate her birthday and Christmas?” They come back anyway. Been meaning to ask “If you convert somebody new, aren’t you kicking out one of the 144,000 who get to live in heaven?”

  138. 138.

    raven

    @Brendan in NC: Cool, thanks! We took that by-pass a few years back when there was that gridlock blizzard after Christmas. We would never have made it back to Athens if we had to have gone through town.

  141. 141.

    Mnemosyne

    @trollhattan:

    I used to work with a JW in the purchasing department for a major medical center. Nice guy, but he could not understand why people would not come to a meeting he scheduled at 5 pm on Christmas Eve. Just did. not. compute. that people wanted to leave early to get ready for the holidays. I think he was a third-generation JW, so he often found us non-JWs and our celebrations to be puzzling.

  142. 142.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @rikyrah: If the Democrats are smart, once they are back in power, if the Repugnicans pop off about the deficit, answer them with the repeal of the Trump tax cuts, as a matter of fact raise those taxes on the rich.

  143. 143.

    Mnemosyne

    @debbie:

    Of course Rove hates the Republicans. He worked his ass off to ensure that Jeb! would beat Hillary thanks to Rove’s diabolical, foolproof voter suppression scheme, and the ungrateful assholes backed Trump instead.

  144. 144.

    NotMax

    So, a question.

    If you were forced – absolutely no way out, no way to avoid or sidestep it – to buy a Xmas gift for Dolt 45, what would it be?

    Let the jackal imagination soar.

  145. 145.

    Thoughtful David

    @Mnemosyne:
    My wife did well a couple of months ago when (I think) a pair of JWs showed up at the door. She gave them about 1 minute for their spiel, then calmly asked them if they had voted for Trump. One said yes, then my wife lit into them saying, how dare you come to my house and try to talk to me about doing the right thing. She told them they had no morals, etc., and they started heading out. As one of them scuttled away, it looked over its shoulder and said “bless you.” My wife wasn’t done, and yelled at them to stay off our property and not come back.
    Haven’t seen any of them since, but to be fair, we don’t usually get them here but three or four times a year.

  146. 146.

    raven

    @John Revolta: I look at that picture and think, “was it really 12 years ago that I sanded it down on the street in front of the house before a guy painted it with John Deere Blitz Black”!

  147. 147.

    Mnemosyne

    @Thoughtful David:

    She gave them about 1 minute for their spiel, then calmly asked them if they had voted for Trump. One said yes, then my wife lit into them saying, how dare you come to my house and try to talk to me about doing the right thing.

    Now that is a good technique that doesn’t require anyone to have a deadly weapon. Your wife did a great job.

  148. 148.

    Mnemosyne

    We’re doing Christmas Eve by ourselves and I have a dilemma: chili con carne or beef stew? Or just eat the chicken tamales I pre-ordered? ?

  151. 151.

    James E. Powell

    I’m baking cookies from now till I get tired of doing it. I’ve sworn not to drink any alcohol until I’m done trying to decorate the gingerbread men.

  152. 152.

    Mnemosyne

    @NotMax:

    Not me — Major^4. I have no issues with chicken.

    I can’t make both because they’re both crockpot recipes and I only have one crockpot. So, decisions. It may depend on whether or not the grocery store I go to has canned lentils. They’re surprisingly difficult to find, but I need them for the chili since regular beans are bad for my tummy right now.

  153. 153.

    Shana

    @Mnemosyne: I find being a 58 year old white woman swearing up a storm works well. Especially if you threaten them at the end if anyone else shows up at the door. At least it worked for the mormons who have a church a couple of blocks from the house.

  155. 155.

    Mnemosyne

    @Shana:

    Julia Sweeney bookends her story about becoming an atheist with two visits from Mormon missionaries. They couldn’t pedal away fast enough when she told them at the end, “You guys are the reason I became an atheist — thank you!” ?

  156. 156.

    Ruckus

    @Mnemosyne:
    They stopped showing up at my place. I recall I told them that they were heathen fucking assholes and if they really wanted to see pissed off they should come back some other time. And I’ve just cleaned it up a lot.
    Swearing can be such a useful tool at cleaning up a front porch.

  159. 159.

    Ruckus

    @Mnemosyne:
    Do you think he’d get the insult?
    Also it would have to be a cheap mirror with a lot of distortion. Wouldn’t make him look better but it would make him wonder if he’s going nuts. Or start to hate the way he looks. Either way is a win.

  160. 160.

    Aleta

    @NotMax: Maybe that’s just the thing I should make at my friends’ Christmas dinner. I have a slew of carrots to take anyway. If you’ve made it, did you change the recipe any?

  161. 161.

    NotMax

    Kudos of a kind to the post office. As mentioned above, had to make an unplanned trip there today because of a delivery screw-up on their part..

    It’s a small one, only two counter spots. However they had placed a third clerk on duty manning a rolling cart equipped with everything the normal workstations have.

  162. 162.

    Tazj

    There’s a JW church about 3 miles from my home and we used to get them going door to door every summer. Most of them were very polite and would leave when I said no thanks. However, one time 2 men came to my house when I just snuck out for a moment to get the mail when my kids were taking a nap. They wouldn’t leave when I told them I had to get back in the house. I mean come on, and they got offended when I said I couldn’t talk anymore.

    My husband just slams the door but my dad liked to invite them into the house and argue with them.

    tRump is at it again, complaining about McCabe, Comey and Hillary on Twitter.

  163. 163.

    Aleta

    @Mnemosyne: One of those Disney ones that cracks when a bad person looks into it. Or the kind that ripples and reveals them sadly stumbling around a bleak loveless future.

  165. 165.

    DCrefugee

    @NotMax: A copy of Hillary’s book, a copy of Katy Tur’s book and a copy of the Constitution, with a bookmark at the 25th Amendment.

    Not that I feel strongly about it or anything…

  166. 166.

    NotMax

    @Aleta

    Didn’t change it at all significantly so far as I remember, except perhaps cut back a smidgen on the brown sugar (or maybe was just low on brown sugar in the larder at the time). Used baby carrots.

  167. 167.

    Aleta

    @NotMax: A tiny key inside a rubberized casing that says “Easily concealed! Works on any handcuffs! Insert now for round-the-clock peace of mind!”

  169. 169.

    J R in WV

    @Mnemosyne:

    We had the first JWs show up this fall in 25 years. When we built the house, downstairs was a spa with a lap pool and a hot tub. Friends were welcome, encouraged to drop by anytime, One afternoon two young women, one a paraplegic, the other a close friend strong enough to help her in and out were using the facility.

    Someone knocked on the door and “Karen” wrapped a towel around her flushed pink self and opened the door. Took a quarter century for that memory to die out. These two last fall were men, suits, one in his 50s and one in his 30s. I stepped out on the porch just before they reached the top of the steps and asked “Can I help you?”

    The older man in front said “We have some news about the Bible!” and I replied that I very much doubted they had any genuine news about a book nearly 2,000 years old.

    Then I added, “Do you really suppose we live at the end of a half mile of private road to facilitate harassment by total strangers?” The dogs were barking all around us at the time. No shotgun required.

    Hope it’s another 25 years before we get another visit, we’ll probably be dead and gone by then.

    What a bunch of grifters, making a living by trying to terrify less educated folks with twisted interpretations of supposed revelations, new interpretations of ancient texts, but we can save 144,000 of us, but only if you keep your tithe current. Grrr. As bad as the Moonies or the Krishnas.

  170. 170.

    Miss Bianca

    @HeleninEire: oops, this is way dead thread, but I’ll catch up to you. Heard that as an American citizen, if you got a job in Ireland, you’re subject to taxation in both countries. Figured you would probably be able to tell me!

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