Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

The words do not have to be perfect.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

No one could have predicted…

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

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99Comments

  4. 4.

    Cermet

    How about we just added three justices to the inferior court when the house, senate and presidency is firmly under our control. A living wage and universal health care would be nice additions. That’d make me happy.

  7. 7.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    Expedite the Harriet Tubman $20 bill of course, on Day 1. But who are we going to put on the rest of the currency after we take off the existing guys?

    Actually I seriously want a couple of new coins, $1 and $2. I love the 1 and 2 Euro coins in Europe and just traveled to Canada and found out they’ve gone for coins also in the small denominations. So can we get those too? Is it in Baud’s platform?

    Ooh, ooh, just thought of another one. GO METRIC! ON EVERYTHING!

  18. 18.

    West of the Rockies

    I’m hoping for changes that include stocking the EPA with professionals who actually want to protect the environment. Ditto the Dept. of the Interior, Education, and HHS.

    Use anything set aside for Space Farce to for NASA and actual scientific inquiry.

  22. 22.

    Patricia Kayden

    Weak Democrats aren’t going to do any of those things but love all of it anyways. If only.

  24. 24.

    Ruckus

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    Ooh, ooh, just thought of another one. GO METRIC! ON EVERYTHING!

    Good idea but it would have to be phased in over some time frame, too many people here have no idea what a metric is. Guy used to work in the machine shop where I do is in the NG and is now stationed in the Middle East for a year. He did a instagram chat the other day and was talking meters and I was the only one out of 6 that had any idea how far anything he said was. Had to convert for them. And we often work with metric blueprints. It might be that the metric system is too easy and they just don’t understand how it can be easy because well the king’s system, how long was his foot, etc.

  27. 27.

    Yutsano

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym: There was an even further upgrade to the dollar coins. I get them a lot from the vending machines at work and distribute them as necessary. The kids at Dutch Bros really love them.

    Total agreement that we need a $2 coin, especially since the bill is too rare.

  34. 34.

    Yutsano

    @TaMara (HFG): TIL: if we actually allowed the Grand Coulee Dam to power at 75% capacity, it could power the entire Northwest for basically free. I’ve long had the conclusion power generation is a racket meant to shore up other interests. Solar, wind, geothermal, hydroelectric, all this could be powering our country tomorrow. If we got corporate greed out of the way.

    And all utilities should be public period. California should totally seize PG&E and run their corporate staffs out of the state on a rail.

  35. 35.

    B.B.A.

    My favored specific “own the Repubs” policy: unconditionally grant citizenship to every Mexican and Salvadoran who comes within 100 miles of the border.

  36. 36.

    EZSmirkzz

    Such violence John! Now we’ll never wipe all of Assrocket’s slobber off the Trumpteen monitors of Grateness.

    Sigh. I’m very very sad. Very very sad… very very sad.

    Socialmalism is bad. Very very bad John. Very very bad.

  37. 37.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Yutsano: Huh. Didn’t even know those existed, and apparently they started in 2007. I don’t think I’ve even seen a Sackie since the 90s sometime. I was singing in a group that entertained at the MD Ren Fair and it amused our leader to pay our pittance in “gold” coins, i.e. Sackie’s.

  38. 38.

    Schlemazel

    I want every empty WalMart turned into a reeducation camp for the Trumpanzes. They told people that was our plan so I say we give it to them.

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    @Yutsano:
    PG&E has been spending tens of millions lobbying Sacramento to get liability exceptions and permission to change customers for settlements and fines, not the precious shareholders. They threaten bankruptcy should they not get their wishes, adroitly ignoring their 2001 bankruptcy. Somehow they’re still with us.

  41. 41.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @B.B.A.:

    People with criminal records, for instance, are arbitrarily and unjustly denied voting rights.

    People with criminal records are denied a lot of rights, sometimes for life. While I am not in agreement with 99% of those policies, amending the US constitution is a big lift. Far easier to amend state constitutions which is where the large percentage of voting regulations are written anyway.

    For the record, I only say 99% of those policies because the chances are fair that there might be one or 2 i might agree with in certain situations even if I can’t think of one now.

  43. 43.

    trollhattan

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    I don’t think we have enough penitentiaries–so some will require multiple names. “Man, I’m doing ten-to-life at Pence-Bannon, what a shithole!”

  46. 46.

    TaMara (HFG)

    @Yutsano: I live in a city where electric, water and internet are city owned. We have the cheapest rates, lowest incident of outages and response time to issues is as fast as our 1G internet.

  47. 47.

    Ruckus

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    I like states rights. It means not everyone has to live in a shithole.
    However. It seems like one of the things that makes this country a bit more difficult is that we have a lot of shithole states that really, really, really don’t want to have to follow the rest of the country and the constitution. That should be fixed, difficult or not, possible or not. Example, voting. It’s fine that it’s administered by Sec of States but the concept that every citizen gets a vote and it’s fucking easy, fair and reliable seems to have been stomped on massively. That needs to change, maybe permanently registered to vote when you are born or are naturalized. We know when you will be 18 so that’s no problem. Born here without a BC is still a problem but I’d bet there’s an easy fix for that as well. How many people can that be, enough to out vote conservatives – who have denied voting to them for how long?
    Anyway….. I wouldn’t mind that other states became more like CA because people get to vote and live and work.
    I’ll stop now, daydreaming like this is bad when you realize how shitty the opposition is.

  50. 50.

    Chet

    I want every parking lot to have a roof of solar panels on it, and every mountain in Pennsylvania to have a wind turbine on top.

  51. 51.

    Kelly

    Tax all income over $1,000,000 at 95% including capital gains, inheritances and anything else that is sheltered now.

  52. 52.

    phein57

    Replace every Confederate monument with a statue of Nat Turner.

    Fund the Defense Department with a tax on incomes over $1,000,000, regardless of source.

  53. 53.

    Jeffro

    Good-bye: Electoral College, Citizens United, Senate voting on legislation (treaties and appointments only)

    Hello: automatic voter registration at 18, computer-drawn ‘compact’ congressional districts, much more stringent requirements to running for federal office, another couple hundred Representatives (oh and four-year terms for Reps, too), 20-year terms for SCOTUS, and requiring, by law, full divestment before taking office (or lose the office)

    Also, can the taco trucks include the occasional gyro truck and bbq truck?

  54. 54.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    I never understand those reports that say the Ds don’t have a message other than being anti-Trump. That it’s so easy to put together a joke like this shows people understand exactly what the D positions are.

  55. 55.

    Ruckus

    @Ruckus:
    Left out a paper ballot so there is a hard record, mail in/drop off/ballot locations, drop off for at least a month before deadline, limits on time to campaign, truth in campaign ads…..
    Other countries do this, many are not as big but then we are separated into 50 entities.
    Also the house. There should be no limit on number of members, the number of citizens in any district should be a lot closer to the same. Meaning that each house seat should represent nearly an equal amount of people.

  57. 57.

    Ruckus

    @Jeffro:

    Also, can the taco trucks include the occasional gyro truck and bbq truck?

    Good call!

    Hello: automatic voter registration at 18, computer-drawn ‘compact’ congressional districts, much more stringent requirements to running for federal office, another couple hundred Representatives (oh and four-year terms for Reps, too), 20-year terms for SCOTUS, and requiring, by law, full divestment before taking office (or lose the office)

    I think we can work out our minor differences. But I do like the way you think.

  59. 59.

    J R in WV

    Two-Dollar Bills, Tom Jeffersons, I love ’em!

    When we were in San Francisco the one time I got one in change, would have been 1988 give or take a year. We had a great time, after a great Thai dinner in an art district, we got a cab back to our hotel, he had great jazz on the stereo, was a nice guy, so we paid him to drive around town telling us about it, tipped him well on top of the meter.

    Next day needed to go to the train station with a large amount of luggage. Doorman calls the cab up, helps load up the trunk. When we get in and tell him we were going to the train station, turns out it was 2 blocks away… He spent the whole ride cursing because of the short trip, which was $1.80 on the meter.

    After we unloaded the car, I proffered the driver either a $5 or a $10, I forget, and he ways “Oh, I don’t have any change!” which was obviously a lie. So I paid him with the $2 bill and said keep the change, dude. Was pissed. I would have tipped well for the short ride, but he just got my goat. So glad to have been keeping the $2 bill as a memory keepsake of the trip, it came in so perfect and timely!

    And more on topic, I agree with many of the suggestions bmaz makes and John Cole agrees on. bmaz is a front pager at Emptywheel IIRC, and does a good job there. There are a whole lot of federal prison camps and such, I feel sure we could name everyone mentioned by Muller’s court filings to the appropriate prison.

  60. 60.

    Emerald

    @Ruckus: Also, reform the Senate. Needs to have some indication of population. It’s insane that California’s 40 million people get the same number of senators as Wyoming, with a population of 600,000. It was set up for the slave states, of course, as was the Electoral College, and it’s long past time to set this place up as an actual democracy instead.

  61. 61.

    Sloegin

    @Jeffro: Voting Rights Act re-instated and applied to all states. Get Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, and American Samoa added as states so we can have one nation, indivisible. (Math Joke).

  63. 63.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    I never understand those reports that say the Ds don’t have a message other than being anti-Trump.

    Especially because Republicans have won A LOT of elections in the last 50 years on the message “liberals are icky, help us stick it to ’em.”

  64. 64.

    M31

    Oh, and how’s about, Democrats, the simple slogan “Income is income!”

    so capital gains, interest, inheritance, fucking hedgefund loophole bullshit, etc., all gets taxed at a nice progressive rate

    you earned 500 million because your dad died? Good for you, now pay your fucking tax on that INCOME that you just got

  65. 65.

    Calouste

    @Emerald: Get rid of first-past-the-post. Make the Senate have nation wide proportional representation, and the House multi-member districts. having more than two parties would be a really good thing.

  66. 66.

    M31

    oh and how’s about this — on your form 1040, you get to donate $1 to a fund to investigate white collar crime. At the end of the year, all the money clawed back from those greedy sleazebags gets divided up among the $1 donors.

    it’s a win-win for America

  69. 69.

    B.B.A.

    @Calouste: I used to be big on electoral reform, but after seeing the European far right get into parliament and take over a few countries, I wonder if FPTP is the only thing keeping David Duke out of office.

    At this point I’d be content with a one-party state, as long as it’s the Democratic party.

  71. 71.

    Bruuuuce

    @M31:

    capital gains, interest, inheritance, fucking hedgefund loophole bullshit, etc., all gets taxed at a nice progressive rate

    you earned 500 million because your dad died? Good for you, now pay your fucking tax on that INCOME that you just got

    So say we all!

    Plus, tax corporate income based on where it’s earned, not on where they’ve located their corporate HQ. Earn a dollar in the US, get taxed at US rates, whether you’re putatively located in California, Ireland, or Israel.

  72. 72.

    Kelly

    We better pack the courts at all levels the next time we can because the R’s are doing it now and will every chance they get. Judges aren’t paid all that well so it inexpensive and we could use more judges to allow speedy trials.

  73. 73.

    CarolDuhart2

    The 1964 Civil RIghts Act and similar acts should be Amendments. Make non-Discrimination explicitly Constitutional and kill Jim Crow permanently, and I think the KKK and similar groups would immediately die on the vine. Without the hope of reviving the old racial (and other hierarchies) much of the right would die with it. An explicit right to vote Amendment, ratify the ERA as well.
    I agree with some term limits on the Supreme Court. Back when the Constitution was done, hardly anyone lived much past 70, so nature took care of changes. But when people could live past 100, it makes little sense to have a justice appointed at 40 on the bench for 60 years.

  74. 74.

    2liberal

    @OzarkHillbilly: a constitutional right to vote that does not allow for people to get thrown off voting rolls, and voting rules changed to favor some particular subsets. a right to vote that includes a right to vote by mail, and does not allow for individual states to mess with vote counting and anything else that can be used to game the system.

  75. 75.

    CarolDuhart2

    @Calouste: Not really. The current system means that parties have to at least try to appeal to a wide variety of people. Those tiny parties have no incentive to do so, and often hamstrung majority opinion. FPTP keeps those cranks from messing up stuff.

  76. 76.

    Jeffro

    @Kelly: We might want to try and write (into law? into Senate rules?) a requirement that any judicial appointment get an up-or-down vote within 90 days of the nomination, election or no election. McConnell sat on almost three years’ worth of judicial appointments and that’s why Trumpov had so many vacancies to fill*

    *and then the jackass goes and tries to pretend like it happened ’cause Obama’s lazy. (link is to one of many Trumpov quotes on the subject – I can’t find the latest one but he mentioned it again at his last rally as if, you know, Obama was playing golf every 3-4 days and didn’t have time)…the NERVE of these motherfuckers…

  77. 77.

    Kelly

    @Jeffro:

    …the NERVE of these motherfuckers…

    evergreen

    I don’t think deadline would help. They stalled to hide what they were up to, to reduce criticism. If they have the votes and the up or down deadline hits they’ll vote down any nominee from a Dem President. They keep getting bolder each time they have power.

  82. 82.

    Miss Bianca

    And as I observed on the Book of Faces when I saw this meme: And the funny thing is, they’d believe it! They’d believe every word!

  84. 84.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @J R in WV: My cousin Lenny inherited a nice piece of change from his dad & the family master book of notable dates. He’d go to a bank where he had a friend & get $2 bills by the sheet – & every birthday & Xmas we’d get a card from him with a Jefferson inside. Someone asked him once why he did it & he said, So no one in this family ever forgets me. Sonoma Beach if he wasn’t right – we’ll open that sock drawer & come upon that roll of $2 bills & immediately think of “Two-Dollar Lenny,” who passed away about a decade back…

  85. 85.

    Uncle Cosmo

    Um “the family master book of notable dates from his mom (my dad’s sister).“

    Edit, come back!
    Fumblefingered fools can see
    There was something
    In everything about you…

  86. 86.

    opiejeanne

    @rikyrah: That was excellent. Thank you for posting the link.

    Thankfully I missed the awful sermon and the boob grab. I tuned in after lunch because we had things that had to get done that morning, where we didn’t have access to a tv, and was both delighted and astonished that the funeral was still in full swing, and I’m on the west coast.

  88. 88.

    Ruckus

    @Steeplejack:
    Not going to look up which space program almost blew up because some of the engineers were using metric and some using the king’s foot as a means of measure.
    So 40-50 yrs later we are still one of the few holdouts on joining the math revolution and making life fucking easier. What’s fucking next, great coats and muskets, every one armed so everyone can fear everyone else? Which was never how it fucking was in the first place. Isn’t it wonderful that the times that conservatives want to go back to was a time that didn’t exist the way they think it did and what did exist was shit anyway? Fucking morons. Reminds me of that TV program Lost in Lousy Space.

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    @Obdurodon:
    Either the crowds won’t know (drunk on shit beer) or they will put players on the cars so that they make the same noise they do now. And while the fire danger is less the crashes will be spectacular, with battery packs flying every where. And pit stops measured in hrs rather than seconds?

  90. 90.

    pablo

    My biggest desire, and Wingnut’s worst nightmare. Same as their hacked list of what the Rethugs fearmongered about when they claimed the investigations the dreaded Dems will do after midterms. Both sides embrace them. One with hope, the other with fear.

  91. 91.

    Ruckus

    @Emerald:
    Well…..
    If drumpf gets his way the place will be renamed ME! or possibly MINE! and I predict that will cause massive citizen protests and unrest, some of which will not be “friendly,” and we’ll probably have to start over anyway. So possibly a parliamentary democracy rather than a representative republic. It seems that our system is somewhat unworkable at it’s current size and structure. It’s not bad, but it was never designed to be this large and therefore is much less representative for the majority as one of it’s ideals was the power structure would remain in the same basic hands as it always has, the money holders. But that is something we should discuss and will have to at some point because it can’t go on like this forever. No nation ever has. Sooner or later the cake just isn’t enough.

  92. 92.

    John Fremont

    @phein57: Also, rename Army bases from Confederate soldiers to more Union officers like George Thomas. Thomas was a Virginian like Robert E Lee but served in the Union Army

  93. 93.

    rekoob

    For years, General Admission at Monticello was $18, so that when you paid with the ubiquitous Jackson, you’d receive a Jefferson as change.

  96. 96.

    SFAW

    How do you lie-berals EVER expect to win another election if you insist on NOT trying to understand the extremely valid concerns of the economically-anxious WWC? All I’ve seen in the comments here has been pettiness and meanness. I am concerned — CONCERNED, I SAY TO YOU! — that the Democrat Party candidates for anything higher than ratcatcher will fail in November, all because you-all want to be mean.

    You have caused my brow to become furrowed even-more-deeply.

    Strong letter to follow!!!!

  97. 97.

    SFAW

    @John Fremont:

    Also, rename Army bases from Confederate soldiers to more Union officers like George Thomas. Thomas was a Virginian like Robert E Lee but served in the Union Army

    Excellent idea. I’d like to see a lot of state buildings in Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and so forth, renamed the “William Tecumseh Sherman Center for [whatever]”

  98. 98.

    mapaghimagsik

    @SFAW: “The William Tecumseh Sherman Center for WE KICKED YOUR ASSES, SLAVE-HOLDING BITCHES! SUCK ON THAT” Jr High School.

  99. 99.

    SFAW

    @mapaghimagsik:
    I’m pretty much OK with almost all of that, but

    SLAVE-HOLDING BITCHES!

    is kind of uncivil, or shrill, or both, so I’d suggest a revision to “SLAVE-HOLDING MOTHERFUCKERS!”

    I hope you’re OK with the proposed revision.

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