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You are here: Home / Dispatches from Balloon Juice HQ

Dispatches from Balloon Juice HQ

by John Cole|  January 16, 201910:49 pm| 27 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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A little bit of everything in this picture. To the left, Steve’s litterbox, which was just changed, which means he immediately races upstairs to the litter box, and then rearranges the litter so it is just right, shooting it all over the upstairs. Remember, Steve rarely uses the damned thing, as he mainly goes out doors. Dick.

And then while it is true that there is a dog bed in every damned room of the house and two in some rooms, I do suppose that they are not made out of high threadcount bed sheets and have that ripe smell, so Rosie has somehow toppled the hamper and taken the liberty of creating her own sleeping quarters out of my bedsheets and dirty knickers. Asshole.

I’ll deal with it in the morning I suppose.

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Reader Interactions

27Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    January 16, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    I assume Lily was being good, as usual?

  2. 2.

    The Midnight Lurker

    January 16, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Rosie sure looks comfortable. Maybe your dirty knickers have more allure than you know.

  3. 3.

    laura

    January 16, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Wither Thurston?

  4. 4.

    sfinny

    January 16, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    That is so funny, and also frustrating. My relatively new cat spent the evening jumping up on my desk and bookshelves, knocking things off, crushing files, etc. Basically being a pain repeatedly. I think because I actually went into the office for the whole day, rather than working from home.

  5. 5.

    Yarrow

    January 16, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    That’s a good picture of Rosie, as Rose pictures go. We can see her face!

    If you used a litter box with a cover on top maybe Steve couldn’t get as much litter outside.

  6. 6.

    sacrablue

    January 16, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    Did you come to a decision on a scale? I bought a Renpho smart scale on Amazon a couple of months ago. It has bluetooth that syncs with my Fitbit. If it would stop me from stuffing carbs in my mouth, I would actually appreciate it more.

  7. 7.

    Barbara

    January 16, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    I have multiple dog beds in every room of the house and one of my dogs still goes for the laundry basket, clean or dirty.

  8. 8.

    Aleta

    January 16, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    This dog loves having two beds in one room. (It started by accident, but he enjoys it so much I left the 2nd one down.) He’s got his palatial home (slab of foam under a normal bed) and his camp (some old pillows zipped inside a cover). Part way through the night he goes out to his camp (<10 feet away). At dawn he heads back to his fancy home. It’s funny how much he enjoys the luxury of the choice. (Daytime he heads off to his job on the couch of course, but takes his breaks at his camp.)

  9. 9.

    stinger

    January 16, 2019 at 11:36 pm

    I love your pets! Also sfinny’s and Aleta’s!

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    January 16, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    Watching ‘The American Experience” episode titled “The Swamp” about developing the Everglades. Fascinating stuff, Florida’s development is totally unknown to me. Marjorie Stoneman Douglas plays a significant role that has nothing to do with her namesake high school.

  11. 11.

    Cheryl Rofer

    January 16, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    That is an impressive kicking-out of litter. Steve knows what he is doing.

  12. 12.

    Martin

    January 16, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    @Barbara: We have a pretty nice bed for our corgi. He likes it, spends a few hours a day there, but then he’s fairly determined to spend at least a few minutes on every other square inch of the house. He’ll lay down, maybe close his eyes, and then 5-10 minutes later get up, move 5-10 feet, lay down and repeat. It’s gotten more pronounced since we got a Roomba. I think it’s a territorial dispute, which he’s going to lose because, fuck, it’s a robot.

  13. 13.

    rikyrah

    January 17, 2019 at 12:05 am

    Rosie looks so cute ?

  14. 14.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    January 17, 2019 at 12:07 am

    That isn’t a litter box, it’s a cat’s dream for fucking with their human. Get a tall storage container and make a cutout at one end for the cat but don’t go too short. He will still fire some litter out of it but not like that mess. You ought to try our Scottish Fold… that fucker figured out that if he stands on the side of the box as he’s getting out of it, he can dump the whole thing at once.

    It’s now taped (lengthwise) to the wall.

  15. 15.

    randal m sexton

    January 17, 2019 at 12:16 am

    Well I’m laid up recovering from knee surgery, and listening to the rain POUND outside here on SF Peninsula, and I do what you do when you live near san francisquito creek, as its rising, you go to the various websites to get monitoring data. And I found this INFURIATING page:
    (This guy Trump, the Republicans, and Fox News and the American Oligarchs are going to get us killed)–>

    from the waterdata.usgs.gov/ca/nwis/uv?11164500 page:

    Due to a lapse in appropriations, the majority of USGS websites may not be up to date and may not reflect current conditions. Websites displaying real-time data, such as Earthquake and Water and information needed for public health and safety will be updated with limited support. Additionally, USGS will not be able to respond to inquiries until appropriations are enacted. For more information, please see http://www.doi.gov/shutdown

    (Sorry to jump on your dog post, as a seldom poster, but I HADDA VENT )

  16. 16.

    MomSense

    January 17, 2019 at 12:25 am

    I know Lily is perfect and an angel but I love Rosie.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    January 17, 2019 at 12:36 am

    Put in less litter.

    SATSQ.

  18. 18.

    Ruckus

    January 17, 2019 at 12:39 am

    @NotMax:
    Then it just takes less time to get it all out on the floor.
    It’s going, full or two grains.

  19. 19.

    Aleta

    January 17, 2019 at 1:04 am

    The main topic of conversation on the street here is ice creepers.
    Look at my new creepers ! How much were they? Have you see this kind? Who sells those? How do you like them? These ones break every year. Mine are *so hard* to get on. Harvey’s got new creepers ! Where did you get them? These are on sale right now. I took mine off yesterday and left them somewhere.
    This sidewalk’s a mess.
    We need more sand.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    January 17, 2019 at 1:40 am

    @Ruckus

    If that is so, then cut an appropriate piece of clear plastic painter’s tarp bigger than the box, let the litter fly, move the box, pick up the tarp and pour the stuff back in from the tarp.

  21. 21.

    Mel

    January 17, 2019 at 2:47 am

    @Ruckus: That’s the truth. They will make litter sand sculptures on the floor no matter how much or how little litter they have to work with, if it’s an open box.

    They figure out ways to beat the enclosed boxes, too. One of mine likes to go right at the front of the box, then turn around and kick like a crazed jackrabbit, so that about two cups of litter spray willy nilly out through the small door. Cats will always have the last word.

  22. 22.

    Mel

    January 17, 2019 at 3:07 am

    Critters do love stuff that smells like their favorite humans.

    I used to have a cat that had a fascination with socks and bras. He would raid the laundry basket, grab a sock, and carry it to one of his favorite sleeping spots and snuggle with the sock like it was a little security blanket.

    The bra issue was another story entirely. He liked to wait until I had guests, snag a bra from the laundry bin, and then march proudly down the stairs bowlegged, with the bra dragging beneath his belly, and then leap onto someone’s lap and present them with the undergarment in question.

    The worst part was that he could also pull open my dresser drawers, so even a latching laundry bin didn’t stop the pilfering. He would just open the drawer an inch or two, stick his arm in, and fish around until he located his target. He was one clever little kitty.

  23. 23.

    Jerry

    January 17, 2019 at 7:47 am

    Rosie is a champion palette maker. Good for her.

  24. 24.

    RL Harrington

    January 17, 2019 at 8:11 am

    on Amazzon worth every penny imo Omega Paw Roll ‘n Clean New Litter Box,

  25. 25.

    donnah

    January 17, 2019 at 8:18 am

    I use our large dining room table as my drawing table and cover it with a large thin plastic grid sheet. My patterns are all done on tracing paper, which has, apparently, a rattling sound that is a cat magnet. My cat Teemo will jump up onto the table and walk noisily around the papers until he finds just the right one, usually smack dab in the middle. He stretches out full length in case I might want to use a few inches of space to get some work done.

    And he gets very testy if I try to scooch him over.

  26. 26.

    Wyliecoat

    January 17, 2019 at 9:34 am

    @randal m sexton: Hey neighbor!

  27. 27.

    cleek

    January 17, 2019 at 9:37 am

    our new cat is a litter-box digger, too. he gets in there and digs and digs and flings litter onto the floor with wild abandon. he’ll be in there for five minutes, arranging the litter just the way he likes it. dirty little fucker,

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