(Stone Soup via GoComics.com)
We’re only three days into the new year. There’s people still on their year-end break, for Murphy’s sake!
Let's say someone is trying to convince you that an opossum should perform brain surgery on your mother, and they provide you with MRI images and a team of experts who unanimously agree she has an aggressive tumor.
This does not change the fact that the opossum can't do it.
— Starfish Who Sold Out Botswana to the French (@IRHotTakes) January 3, 2020
OzarkHillbilly
Never have surgery performed by a possum. They go catatonic at the most inopportune moments.
Pete Downunder
I have friends here in Queensland that have heard of snow but never actually have seen it. Having grown up in the north east of the US I assure them that they havenât missed anything.
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
You’re not going to believe this, but Tulsi Gabbard, who portrays herself as anti-war, and who constantly attacks Clinton as a war monger, had nothing to say about Dump starting a new war.
I’m shocked!
OzarkHillbilly
I have to say thank you Anne, thank you very much for the gift of 41 Strange. Later today I will curse you for the hours of unproductive time I have wasted, but right now I am still thanking you.
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
Meanwhile, all the candidates weighed on twitter, except Gabbard, Steyer, Bloomberg, and Pete.
Wilmer was dragged kicking and screaming into responding. He hates criticizing Dump and only did so a half an hour after Warren’s strong response and even then he only posted a mealy mouthed complaint about the financial cost.
Sad!
OzarkHillbilly
Just a pet snake in a sweater.
Burnspbesq
For the first time in perhaps forever, the fact that itâs Friday is relatively insignificant.
This retirement thing is taking some getting used to.
rikyrah
Good Morning, Everyone???
Baud
@rikyrah: Good morning.
Baud
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
She didn’t even tweet “present”?
Baud
@Burnspbesq:
I’m excited for you, but it can be a hard transition.
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
She must have been misquoted because of her heavy accent. More likely she said, “Piss on the world.”
Baud
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
That’s not even a resolution. “Get a divorce” is a resolution.
Juju
I think I would still prefer that opossum as president to the one we have now.
Amir Khalid
@Burnspbesq:
After a while you start to lose track, a bit, of the day of the week. It doesn’t matter that much to you anymore, now that your time is all your own, and you don’t have weekends to help you remember. One can feel a little lost.
rikyrah
rikyrah
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
It’s always projection
Steeplejack (phone)
@rikyrah:
Good morning. ?
JPL
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch: What are the odds that he put the hawks in charge after they guaranteed a dismissal of the articles of impeachment?
JPL
Yesterday, I made a big pot of soup and Jeffrey’s cornbread muffins.  I’m ready for any storm that’s brewing.  Okay, I jest because one can never be prepared for what trump brings.
Raven
If you get up at 4am and arrive at Midway 2hrs before your flight everything is smooth. The weather held and the funeral and gathering went well.
debbie
@OzarkHillbilly:
Good grief, that sweater looks so itchy.
debbie
@rikyrah:
I can’t tell if this is Trump or BS. Who’s the greatest physician in Congress???
debbie
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
Just how large is that fat orange mutt being waved around by its tail?
Bobby Thomson
Incorrect. Gabbard went on record with her support early. Perhaps the first Congressional Republican to do so.
satby
@Raven: safe travels home raven!
@rikyrah: Good morning ?
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
@JPL: He has a bunch of empty suits surrounding him right now. And I don’t think the military would recommend this because they don’t want another quagmire in the middle east.
I believe this was spun up by his loony kitchen cabinet that he constantly talks to; from Lou Dobbs to Sheldon Adelson.
JPL
@Raven: Safe travels.
satby
@debbie: Bernie or Trump, two sides of the same coin.
JPL
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch: I believe that Lindsay played golf with him a few days ago.
OzarkHillbilly
@debbie: I’m pretty sure it’s in reference to Wilmer. trump isn’t a member of Congress.
OzarkHillbilly
Bambi Meets Godzilla (1973) directed by Marv Newland
My dog throws up what it eats and shits in the corner, but I’m the sick puppy.
JPL
@OzarkHillbilly: How was the celebration with the family and especially the grand kids?  I have been craving paella.
debbie
@satby:
Right. Also, too many pronouns!
@OzarkHillbilly:
Yeah, but Wilmer’s issue is his heart, not diabetes (at least as far as I know).
frosty
@Burnspbesq: Best wishes on the transition. Raven recommended a book thatâs been helping me figure out what to do in (checks watch) 28 days – The Retirement Maze. Helped me change my mind on moving to the Eastern Shore.
OzarkHillbilly
@debbie:
It’s all part of med records. Presidents get their physicals at Bethesda by their personal physician.
Betty Cracker
@Pete Downunder: My husband grew up in Buffalo, NY and has no desire to ever see snow again. I haven’t seen snow in decades, but I would like to see it again — from a window while seated near a roaring fireplace. I think it’s beautiful as long as you don’t have to drive in it.
Speaking of weather, it’s supposed to get into the mid-80s today, which is rather warm for January, even in Florida. I refuse to turn the A/C on during winter, so I’m doing the old cracker trick of opening up all the windows and doors while the air is cool, then shutting the cool air in before it gets warm outside.
OzarkHillbilly
@JPL: Sans daughter and SIL. They were coming down with colds/flu and didn’t want to expose Addelyn. (speaking of which, as of yesterday mine is now fully 100% history- I still kept an arms length between me and Addelyn on Sunday) The Paella was as good as it always is and we had a nice visit. MawMaw was especially thrilled because she didn’t have to share little Addelyn Rose with PawPaw at all.
Daughter and SIL are visiting this wkend and my wife is planning another paella. Sucks to be me.
rikyrah
@debbie:
It’s Wilmer ??
rikyrah
rikyrah
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
Always projection
And, there is always a tweet ??
Raven
@Amir Khalid: I was just with an old buddy who retired from the Post Office a couple of years ago. He was a combat tracker and badly wounded in Cambodia a lifetime ago. His love of dogs is deep and every day he gets up and goes to the shelter and walks dogs!
Kristine
@OzarkHillbilly: I love 41 Strange.
rikyrah
satby
So this op-ed from just before the holiday came to my notice this morning.
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
This is on Wilmer from 4 years ago:
Geez, what a mess.
Now it was a 4 paragraph letter, not his records. The letter also said he had no history of cardiovascular disease, yet three years later he had two blocked arteries, which triggered a significant heart attack. When you miss something that big, it casts doubt on finding of the rest of the letter.
rikyrah
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
@satby: Did you see Kevin Costner went out to Iowa to campaign for Pete (photo). That’s a nice get.
Kristine
@Burnspbesq: every day is Saturday. Except some are busier than others and then there are appointments, which can only take place in certain Saturdays.
but otherwise, yeah. I used to hate Sundays because they were followed by MondaysâI really didnât like my job much those last few years. Itâs nice to be able to enjoy them again.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kristine: and this is why:
satby
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch: I did.
rikyrah
Baud
Granted this occurred in September 2016 rather than during the primaries, but I wonder if the NYT will reprise stories such as these.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, Ages 68 and 70, Share Few Health Details
rikyrah
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
And there is always a Hillary quote that proves that she was right about EVERYTHING ??
When it comes to Dolt45
rikyrah
Baud
@rikyrah: Not that I disagree, but which white person is blaming black people for Trump? I’d like to start a list.
Betty Cracker
Politico says Klobuchar doubled her Q3 fundraising haul in the final quarter, pulling in $11M in Q4, her highest quarterly total to date. She’ll have one more shot this month to make the case that she’s the most electable centrist at the last debate before the Iowa causes.
Ydobon
@satby: Shouldn’t that be: “Bernie and Trump: the same side of two coins”? Asking for a friend, of course.
JPL
Bingo .. I guess Lindsay said on Fox he was briefed a few days ago.
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud: The only ones I can think of are the ones saying trump was the white backlash from Obama. Which is still blaming white people.
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
Baud
In moderation for copying and pasting text with too many links in it.
WaterGirl
@Raven: Glad to hear it.
JPL
@OzarkHillbil
I have a question on staining.. My son has an old solid cherry bedroom set. I told him I could restain it for them to try to update it.  In order to achieve an ebony look, would I need to use a conditioner first?
Kay
@Baud:
It still amazes me the NYTimes managed to portray Hillary Clinton as in poor health and barely functioning. It is visibly, obviously, not in any way true. Watching her for decades she was really, really consistently functioning on a very high level and yet Republicans planted this seed of an idea that she was somehow ill and addled and they just RAN with it.
They can do this to anyone if they could do it to her. No one ever thought she was frail prior to the smear job. They created it in a matter of months and sold it, although it contradicts decades of objective evidence- the actions of the person herself- which we all watched.
Baud
@Kay:
2016 was an awful year for American decency. Republicans invited the rest of the country to participate in their culture, and too many people accepted their invitation.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Free at last, free at last…
Baud
@WaterGirl:
Thank you.
Butter Emails
@OzarkHillbilly:
I tend to just blame.
1. The people who voted for Trump
2. The people who didn’t vote or voted 3rd party in competitive states
3. People who voted for Hillary, but have culpability for 1 and 2.
WaterGirl
@Baud: So if the Des Moines Register is co-hosting the debate, does that mean there will be actual journalists asking questions instead of hacks asking mostly hack questions?
Baud
@Butter Emails: A long but accurate list.
Baud
@WaterGirl: I don’t know. It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?
Kay
I’m upset that 2020 begins with Trump and media selling a war. I could cry. I cannot believe we are doing this again. It’s the exact same cast of characters too, with the addition of Donald Trump. “Addition”. Huge subtraction. So, incredibly, worse than the last rush to war.
I’m sitting here wondering who will be the new propagandist. Who is this decade’s Judy Miller. The person already exists, we just don’t know them yet.
Cheryl Rofer
@Kay: Peter Baker and David Sanger have a good chance at the title. With Maggie Haberman in a supporting role.
Betty Cracker
@Kay: I’m still gobsmacked that the media accepted the first White House physician’s absurd, DPRK-like attestations to Trump’s robust health and that his mysterious visit to Walter Reed was swallowed by the memory hole almost immediately.
Here’s what I wonder: does the collective media shrug over 78-year-old Senator Sanders’ heart attack prove that it’s not a Trump thing, or has the Trump era lowered the standard across the board? I think it’s the latter, but I do wonder how the NYT Beltway hacks would react to Senator Warren catching a cold…
Kay
@Cheryl Rofer:
Remember how Cheney used to plant propaganda in the NYTimes and then give interviews where he cited to the NYTimes?
A perfect, closed circle.
They already rolled out Ari Fleisher for the “we’ll be greeted at liberators” recitation.
JPL
@Kay: John Berman on CNN is not buying into the reasoning for the assassination, so there’s hope.   CNN was on board last time.
PaulWartenberg
Just wondering if the 2020 calendar is available yet. Thank ye.
Kathleen
@Cheryl Rofer: I was going to suggest that the HandMag will be spinning those tales…
NotMax
Wow. Just finished up the new season of Occupied. Last episode both a kick in the gut and a flashing warning beacon of out in the open formulaic plot pitfalls ahead.
All in all an extended set-up for season 4, for which one fervently hopes a detailed outline was committed to paper before the first frame of season 3’s 90 degree turn to playing let’s turn characters inside out and see what develops was shot. Whether or not the production has now bitten off more than it can chew in migrating to globe-spanning perfidy remains to be seen next time out.
Kay
@Betty Cracker:
I have some trouble with the whole “health”analysis, honestly. 1. it will be bad and sloppy and dumb and, 2, since it will be that, how useful is it?
Sanders supporters know he had a heart attack and they know how old he is. Is dumb analysis of his resting pulse rate going to add anything? These are people who took the hale and hearty Hillary Clinton and turned her into a barely functioning crone. If they want to do the same to Sanders, they will do so, medical records or no medical records.
different-church-lady
I have friends that have heard of retrement but never actually have seen it.
Omnes Omnibus
@JPL: I am not buying that this is the Iraq War Redux less than 24 hours after the assassination. Iran isn’t Iraq. The US military in 2020 isn’t the military of 2003. Etc.
Patricia Kayden
@OzarkHillbilly:
And never put an orange bully wearing a possum on his head in the White House. Â Heâll only put everyone in danger.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus:
And Dems are stronger now. And the U.S. has no allies except Is real and Saudi Arabia.
Kristine
@OzarkHillbilly: For a feed run by a horror write/site, it contains a number of non-horror/non-strange items. Compulsively readable.
Kay
We’re still waiting for baby to be born and my leave time is ticking away. My daughter and I now call the baby “the uncooperative child” :)
sab
@Betty Cracker: It took me years to convince my husband that the windows open at night, closed in the morning works. It didn’t work as well with four big dogs panting inside.
Kay
@JPL:
That is good news. I don’t think the public is the same. It will be much harder to sell. Recall that all that “Donald the Dove, Hillary the Hawk” bullshit they pumped out was intended to SELL Donald Trump, not hurt him.
Baud
@Baud:
Oh yeah, and 9/11 isn’t fresh in everyone’s minds.
JPL
@Kay: Today is the day!
Cheryl Rofer
@Kay: The Trumpies have been doing that too. I don’t have an example at hand, but I have seen them called out for it.
Baud
Some Dems have been pushing for a while to update the AUMF. I hope this will provide some impetus to that push. Along with being the right thing to do, it’ll help underscore how Republicans in Congress don’t take their constitutional duties seriously. Not impeachment and not the war power.
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: That is probably the biggest thing.
OzarkHillbilly
@JPL: I’m afraid you are asking the wrong guy. I have always preferred to use natural finishes that let whatever wood I am working with speak for itself (oils, maybe a satin polyurethane).
As far as staining cherry for an ebony look… Well just the thought is blasphemy and the act itself is such sheer sacrilege that excommunication is to be followed by burning at the stake!
On the slightly more serious side, I would think that stripping the furniture first with most any of the commercially available brands would be sufficient (remember to follow all safety protocols!) and then using a quality ebony stain would give you the desired color and then a few coats of polyurethane to finish would do the job.
But again, I am not that well versed on finishes.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Point taken.
Kay
People quote the Donald the Dove, Hillary the Hawk headline all the time, but to grasp the full awfulness of that newspaper you have to read it:
You can’t even believe how bad they are. MUCH worse than you remember.
WaterGirl
@PaulWartenberg: Not yet. Â I’m sure John will make an announcement as soon as it is, and as soon as I know anything concrete, I will update Pet Calendar info at the top of the site, in the blue box, upper right.
OzarkHillbilly
@Omnes Omnibus: And the disaster of the Iraq war is still fresh in the minds of voters.
Elizabelle
@Kay: Â Oh gawd, it’s Maureen Dowd. Â From April 2016.
Kay
@JPL:
Oh, I hope so. She’s my baby and I want this peril in the rearview mirror.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kay: My wife called her daughter that “stubborn little shit”.
Baud
@Kay:
I don’t remember 2016 fondly, but whenever I go back to read what was actually written, it’s even worse than I remember.
Kay
@Elizabelle:
Read it. I forgot how bad it is. It describes Paul Manafort as a dashing member of the Rat Pack. These people were destroyed by movies. Movies made them insane. They think they live in one. They insist we live in one, and I don’t want to.
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud: They need to repeal the dawgdamned thing, not modify it.
Kay
@OzarkHillbilly:
I told her “wait until you have to get her boots on in time for the bus”. My youngest used to hold his hands up and say “my gloves!” except it was “my glubs!”, like a little prince. He didn’t like mittens and you have to CRAM each tiny finger into the proper hole.
Immanentize
@Kay: I thought it was “uncooperative individual.“
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Burnspbesq:
Retirement does ruin that weekend feel. OTOH, it’s totally worth it.
Baud
@OzarkHillbilly:
Modify or repeal and replace. I just don’t think there’s an appetite yet for stopping all actions against foreign terrorist groups.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kay: My oldest, he has never been ready to go when it is time to go. I was always waiting on him.
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud:
The AUMF is a blank check. It needs to go.
Immanentize
@OzarkHillbilly: Forget the AUMF. Assassinations are illegal, period. I am old enough to remember when we were embarrassed if we were caught trying to assassinate people. If the 60s were now, we would just drone kill Castro and Allende and Kennedy (oops).
ETA. I guess we know what those weird sighting of drones were about in Nebraska — practice.
JPL
@Kay: That made me think about the Macy’s ad in SNL where the dad is trying to put on the boots.
germy
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gop-rep-reading-request-backfires_n_5e0af841e4b0843d360b5b0a
Gin & Tonic
@Betty Cracker:
I think it’s this, and unfortunately I don’t think the standard is coming back in my remaining lifetime. Whether it’s medical reports or financial disclosures or anything similar.
Matt McIrvin
@Kay: I’m betting the “liberal hawk” contingent will be much smaller this time. Not nonexistent, but.
Ruckus
@Burnspbesq:
Work part time.
That way Fridays can still be significant. And you can call Thursday your Friday. So TWO Fridays a week!
Of course you haven’t actually retired at that point…….
Matt McIrvin
@OzarkHillbilly: Don’t know about “fresh”. Children born when Bush invaded Iraq are almost old enough to vote. It’s about as distant as Vietnam was during the Reagan years.
Gin & Tonic
@Immanentize:
Which is why those who engage in them (and most governments do) do so quietly, with some measure of deniability. Unfortunately we are saddled with a leader too stupid and vain to be able to refrain from crowing about it.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Kay:
I went back and read it. Eye-poppingly bad. On her way to trashing Hillary, Dowd can’t pass up a chance to hit Obama, too:
Another Scott
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
Yesterday morning I posted a comment (#64) with links to Biden’s and Wilmer’s health reports. They have similar detail. Both are a bit scary, both have conditions that seem to be under control.
It’s a good thing that we have the healthiest President in the history of the country in office during these stressful times….
(groucho-roll-eyes.gif)
Cheers,
Scott.
Ruckus
@Juju:
More logical and less bullshit most likely.
So yeah, a replacement opossum would be a step up.
Kay
@JPL:
I love the passive resistance, where they just flop down. My daughter was tiny but she hated to be manhandled. “Put me DOWN”. I completely get that. How dare people just move her around. It’s undignified.
Another Scott
@Kay: I was 2 weeks late.
Good luck!
Cheers,
Scott.
Elizabelle
@Kay: Â For my youngest sister’s birth: Â my maternal grandmother flew out to Hawaii for the birth.
And flew back. Â Somehow, the doctors were off by what seemed like weeks on when baby would actually appear. Â My dad missed the birth too — he was on business on the mainland.
Good luck with the grandbaby in waiting!
Elizabelle
@Steeplejack (phone): Â Why I don’t even click on MoDo anymore.
Will not give her or FTF NYTimes the eyeballs.
Another Scott
@JPL: That was very well done. I would like to have that laughter back. :-/
Cheers,
Scott.
PIGL
@frosty: may i ask what it said to make you reconsider what i suppose was a long-help plan/dream?
Ruckus
@David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:
Four years at his age is a lot different than at your age. That downhill slide as one ages is different for everyone as to exact degree of the hill and basic speed at which you accelerate down it, but 4 cardio years is not all that out of the question at his age. And his doc probably didn’t do an angio to find out for sure.
Not defending the old fart just that health happens at a different pace as one gets older. And standing at a podium and yelling is not good exercise.
Kay
@Steeplejack (phone):
Maureen Dowd worked hard to “feminize” Obama, then announces it as if it came from other sources. It’s as I wrote a brief and then cited it in a later one – “As clearly shown in my earlier rant on this issue, see: August 24th, Motion to Stop Motioning…”
Fair Economist
@Baud:
Pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster (or whatever you believe in) that the farce candidates continue to not qualify.
Pleasantly surprised that Klobuchar is in while Yang and Steyer are out. She’s not my top choice but at least she’s a legitimate candidate.
OzarkHillbilly
@Matt McIrvin:Â I know. And nobody, i mean nobody thinks Iraq was a success, or that we “could have won if only our soldiers hadn’t been denied victory.” or any of the other nonsense BS that was spewed in the wake of Vietnam. Yes, members of cult45 will be rah rahing trump’s little adventure right up until they pull up to the gas pump and see $5/gal.*
*that’s not a prediction, but if Iran wants to get serious that is where they can make the whole world feel it.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kay:
I used that technique on the boys a time or 2. It never failed to get their attention.
Another Scott
TheHill:
Good numbers for Team Warren. I was a little worried when her numbers were delayed so much longer than everyone else’s yesterday.
Biden’s numbers are surprising to me, being the [klaxon]front-runner[/klaxon] and all…
Cheers,
Scott.
Kay
@OzarkHillbilly:
I had a client with a tiny little girl who pitched a fit in the waiting room and wouldn’t walk. Her mother picked her up and plunked her down, like you do, and she looked defiantly at me and carefully smoothed the front of her tiny jeans, like “this barbarian messed my clothes up”. It’s an outrage. We’re appalling.
Gelfling 545
@debbie: Thatâs the point, isnât it? We donât know.
Kay
@Another Scott:
The total for the Democrats is impressive. It’s double Trump’s. They’re fired up.
rikyrah
@Kay:
Kay,
they’ve been trying to sell war with Iran for years now. It just is a nope.
PIGL
@Betty Cracker: yeah, pretty hysterical. the media and public took the ludicrous âDr. Dotage Kildareâ cos-play at face value. Seller looked a lot more alike that 70s New York amphetamine doctor described in âdowntown diariesâ by Jim Carroll.
rikyrah
@Betty Cracker:
Klobuchar has no Black support.
Black people are the centrists of the Democratic party.
So, which centrists is she appealing to?
Ruckus
@different-church-lady:
You can’t see it but my non retirement hand is raised. I getting ready to leave for work in ten minutes. And I’m a bit over 65…..
OzarkHillbilly
@Kay: One time we were at the grocery store, The boys were like 6 and 8. They started fighting, fists and everything, I have no idea about what but I had no patience for a ruckus right then and there. I grabbed each of them by their collars, picked them up and set them down, very suddenly, on opposite sides of the aisle and said something like “Enough!”
And it was.
Ruckus
@Gin & Tonic:
Well their stock in trade is bullshit. And hoping that you won’t notice it.
catclub
@Burnspbesq: The Duchess on Downton Abbey asked:
“What’s a weekend?”
Cheers
J R in WV
@Burnspbesq:
Dude, what the hell are you doing up at 5:47 am ??? Seriously>?
You will be surprised how quickly you get used to making appointments for afternoon, instead of 8 am, and sleeping late after watching threads grow longer on Balloon Juice. And naps around 2 or 3 pm. Seriously, tho, first stop getting up at 5 am!!!
Eunicecycle
@Kay: I think that total is the number to compare to Rump’s, not his total against individual candidates. Democrats are raising lots of money to defeat him.
OzarkHillbilly
@J R in WV:
As much as I hate waiting in Doctors offices who by 2 PM are ALWAYS running at least a half hour late, if your lucky, I will always make my appt for the earliest available time.
Matt McIrvin
@OzarkHillbilly: I’m pretty sure the entire American right now believes the story of Iraq is “we were doing fine until Obama cut and run”, because why wouldn’t they?
J R in WV
@OzarkHillbilly:
Will confess, our family doctor always takes most all day for appointments, but, on the other hand, always sees you today if you get sick or are injured. He takes his time with you if you are hurt, sends you across the street for imaging when needed, has a lab in his office to capture that profit, but also means your blood work is at least in part done before you actually see him.
Have been seeing the same guy since before 1980…
On the other hand, dentist, 1:30 every time, eye doctor, 1 or 2 pm.
Elizabelle
@Matt McIrvin: Â Really, who gives a fuck what they think? Â There is reality, and there is what they think.
opiejeanne
@Amir Khalid: The doctor appointments help us keep track of the time.
(only halfway kidding)