Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

This blog will pay for itself.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

No Justins, No Peace

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Confederacy of Douchebags

Confederacy of Douchebags

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Betty has a good substantive post below about the Parnas docs, whatever happened with Yovanovitch (spoiler: all bad), etc. My less substantive comment: my God is this Hyde guy a fucking douche.

I can’t tell which one is Hyde in the photo above – the MAGA yarmulke overwhelms my optical cortex. Maybe one of you with more experience with douche signifiers can give me a hand. (By the way, this is from a TPM Prime post, for which Josh Marshall earned the whole $50 or so that I pay every year for the biggest bargain in media on the Internet.)

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

80Comments

  2. 2.

    Kent

    We have certainly reached peak douche white guy in this administration. That’s pretty much the entire point of Mar a Lago. It’s like a roach motel for douche white guys. You don’t see actual productive people going there.

  3. 3.

    germy

    All these guys sure do love posing for photos.  What’s up with that.

    I’ll occasionally get my photo taken during a family holiday or vacation.  But not like these characters.

  5. 5.

    germy

    Devin Nunes responds to whether he communicated with Lev Parnas by saying he’s still trying to confirm whether those communications that took place did take place. We have not heard from Devin since latest Lev evidence. These are difficult times for Devin. pic.twitter.com/5W2xgxjKQi
    — Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) January 15, 2020

  7. 7.

    HRH mistermix, Lord Bombay Sapphire, Duke of Schweppes

    CT-5 is D+2 but Dems have won it by 10+ points in the last couple cycles. I hope Republicans nominate this sure loser so we can re-target some money away from CT-5, which is a super expensive media market. (Well, my first hope is indictment, I guess that means this is my second hope.)

  9. 9.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    I can’t tell which one is Hyde in the photo above – the MAGA yarmulke overwhelms my optical cortex.

    W-why? Why does that exist? This douche is also running for Congress in Connecticut’s 5th district. He’s among many R’s running in the primary this fall. First-termer Jahana Hayes has held the seat since 2018. It’s a D+2 district. His Instagram is a cesspit, as you’d expect.

    I wonder if his involvement in this horrific mess will derail his campaign

  15. 15.

    HRH mistermix, Lord Bombay Sapphire, Duke of Schweppes

    @Cervantes:

    Maybe, but I have more faith in Republican primary voters than the Republican Party of CT.  That Harris tweet probably got him 5% more share of the vote with the key douche demographic he’s clearly stalking.

  16. 16.

    Martin

    Nothing says ‘fuck you libs’ like showing off a cigar in every photo. It’s almost as iconic as the red hat.

  17. 17.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Cervantes:

    “She went down, brought to her knees. Blew it. Must be a hard one to swallow.”

    Jesus. I’m not sure how wingnutty the Connecticut GOP is, but I’m actually surprised a Republican actually faced consequences for saying something like that for once. Has he been actually barred from getting the nom? Is he still allowed to run in the primary? MisterMix brings up a good point: the GOP primary voters might like that sort of talk about Dems

  18. 18.

    Barbara

    @germy: Someone in my office wears a Pittsburgh Steelers yarmulke, which makes me think that anything you can get on a cap you can get on a yarmulke.  I have no idea whether that violates the spirit of what it means to wear a yarmulke.  Maybe Adam could fill us in.

  19. 19.

    bemused

    Lordie. Our country is run by an insane and corrupt mafia. No wonder I haven’t been able to kick insomnia in years.

  22. 22.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Google tells me I was five when I saw the Brady Bunch Goes To Hawaii, and Mike Brady solemnly read aloud from the plaque at the Arizona Memorial. It might well have been my first US history lesson that went beyond construction paper pilgrim hats and cardboard Washington and Lincoln faces taped up over the blackboard.

    Kasie Hunt @ kasie
    “Trump does not seem to grasp the fundamental history surrounding the attack on Pearl Harbor.
    ‘Hey, John, what’s this all about? What’s this a tour of?’ Trump asks his then-chief of staff John Kelly, as the men prepare to take a private tour of the USS Arizona Memorial.”

  25. 25.

    J R in WV

    Just want to say, I really like paraphrasing the famous title to a Balloon Juice thread like this. Very appropriate, especially given the most recent document dump from Les Parnas.

    The evidence keeps stacking up, in spite of all Trump and his minions can do to hold it back. So sad for Mr Trump… heh.

  27. 27.

    JustRuss

    @bemused:

    Lordie. Our country is run by an insane and corrupt mafia. No wonder I haven’t been able to kick insomnia in years.

    Yeah, I definitely picked the wrong decade to quit sniffing glue.

  28. 28.

    joel hanes

    @germy:

    All these guys sure do love posing for photos

    Demonstrative sucking up.   Most of the photos show underlings and wanna-bes posed with someone whom they regard as a big shot — the photo is evidence of the reflected glory in which they imagine themselves covered.

  29. 29.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Russian PM resigns in shock move as Putin announces dramatic constitutional shake-up

    Russia’s prime minister Dmitry Medvedev unexpectedly submitted both his and his government’s resignation on Friday, with reports suggesting disagreements with President Vladimir Putin precipitated the move.

    Mr Putin announced Mikhail Mishustin as his replacement a few hours later. An obscure technocrat, Mr Mishustin, 53, earned plaudits for his role revamping the country’s tax service, but is unlikely to be seen as a rival or potential successor. Mr Medvedev will now serve as deputy of the national Security Council, a newly created position.

    The news came on the back of Mr Putin’s equally dramatic state-of-the-nation address. In recent years, the speech has become a predictable affair — promising a great leap forward in wealth and welfare while projecting Russian military might. But on Wednesday the president departed from the usual script by instead proposing a radical constitutional shakeup and referendum.

    The proposals would see a redistribution of power away from the presidency and any potential successor towards parliament.

    In Mr Putin’s new vision, the State Duma, Russia’s lower parliament would be granted powers to choose a prime minister and cabinet. The Federation Council, Russia’s upper chamber, would gain powers over the appointment of security officials. The constitutional position of the State Council, which Putin currently heads, would also be strengthened.

    The move appeared to be designed to enable him to retain informal power by switching to one of the above institutions after leaving the presidential post in 2024.

    What a control freak. He’ll only let go of power when he finally croaks.

  30. 30.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Barbara:  In The Sandlot movie one of the young kids has a halo on his because he is an Angels fan.  I thought that was funny.

  31. 31.

    patrick II

    @germy:

    Either they are teenage girls with fat suits or they take the pictures to show status to their potential voters/influence peddlees.  See, I’m a member of the Trump gang! I know important Republicans! Generally, its the one lower on the totem pole that wants to have the picture.  When put together it’s one of those gangland organizational charts you see on a police show whiteboard working from Trump down.

  32. 32.

    jl

    The Trumpsters have mastered the arcane art of implausible deniability.

    Is my take on this vile mess.

    Implausible deniability this convincing is extraordinarily difficult, but also very easy, the paradox of which is its precise and very specific hallmark. It requires many accomplices whom you can watch on TV talking nonstop every day. Except when a GOPer is on, and then they gap in wonder.

  33. 33.

    J R in WV

    @natem:

    I can’t stop thinking about the guy in the back. What’s his deal?

    I think he’s just a customer in the Cigar Bar, drinking to kill off some bad memories while the guys in front reinforce those bad memories.

    He doesn’t look related to the douches in front at all, just there while they did their awful things.

  34. 34.

    Chyron HR

    @Cervantes:

    “Some people think that the people who voted for Trump are racists and sexists and homophobes and deplorable folks.  I don’t agree, because I’ve been there.” – Bernie Sanders

  36. 36.

    scav

    It’s clearly the dignity and respect for patriotic traditional ‘Mercan values that is burning our retinas here.  Wasn’t old George sporting one of these over his cigar-clenching wooden teeth?

  37. 37.

    Betty Cracker

    “Douchebags” is exactly the word that came to mind when I first saw the photos. If you were going to a costume party as “a douchebag,” that’s what you’d wear, and that’s how you’d act.

  38. 38.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @J R in WV:

    Not that you can really tell who he is, I’m sure whoever he is, he doesn’t appreciate being in the same picture as the douchecanoes for the whole world to see

  40. 40.

    Kay

    @germy: 

    They’re all such crooks. And make no mistake, they were all crooks prior to Trump- he just gave them license to go crazy with it.

  41. 41.

    Kai-two

    From what I read, there were two thumb drives sent to the committee with Parnas docs, one with classified info and one without.

    Parnas isn’t a government official — how are any of these docs classified?

    The only thing I can come up with is that some of the docs reveal “sources and methods” or something but that would mean some of the docs are NOT from Parnas.

  43. 43.

    waspuppet

    The mounting proof of what a thoroughgoing shithead Hyde is will make it real interesting when Trump denies ever knowing him. It’s like, how could he NOT?

     

    It’ll be even more interesting when Trump denies knowing him and he ends up sitting next to Melania at the State of the Union Address. And Chris Cillizza explains what a canny move it was.

  44. 44.

    JPL

    @Betty Cracker: You did such a good job on the previous post, maybe you could be in control of a discussion of A Very Staple Genius.     I’m not the book club type, but it might be interesting.

  49. 49.

    Wag

    Am I the only one who sees guys smoking cigars and think that they are sucking on dog turds instead of tobacco products?

  51. 51.

    Roger Moore

    @germy:

    All these guys sure do love posing for photos. What’s up with that.

    I assume some of it is fanboyism- the same reason people want selfies with Elizabeth Warren- and some of it is a way of proving their bona fides to others.  Nothing proves you’re a known associate like a bunch of pictures of the two of you together, obviously taken at different events.

  52. 52.

    Betty Cracker

    My hubby is watching MSNBC, and they just said Parnas and his lawyer will be interviewed by Maddow tonight.

  55. 55.

    waspuppet

    @Roger Moore: My experience with ’80s douchebags is that it’s no fun for them unless they know that you know what they’re doing and you know you can’t do anything about it.

    It’s a bit like why Trump started saying “Even if you don’t like me you have to vote for me.” Even a political idiot knows that’s a stupid thing to say. But for an abuser, there could be no bigger high than knowing you forced people against their will to vote for you.

  56. 56.

    Mike E

    @Roger Moore: No, it’s a dominance signal for MAGAts…dick waving/sign flashing is what these assholes are all about (aside from pwning libs, of course)

  57. 57.

    West of the Rockies

    @Kent:

    Yes, sunglasses indoors… And don’t forget leather shoes without socks on a rotund, smug, middle-aged guy:  the women love that look (and smell).//

  58. 58.

    Doc Sardonic

    @Kent: Hmmm…..I wear sunglasses indoors frequently. But I have a migraine or borderline migraine 31 days out of every 30. I also could use a post graduate charm school course to get from sonofabitch to Asshole, so valid point.

  61. 61.

    joel hanes

    I’m really getting the feeling that Parnas decided that his life might be in danger after he was caught and Trump repudiated him, because he knows too much. So he’s counting on the feds to protect him from having an “accident” arranged by someone connected to Firtash in a plausibly-deniable way.

  62. 62.

    Barbara

    @West of the Rockies: I wear sunglasses indoors if I need to (if it’s bright enough).  I have developed a lot of problems with dry eyes and nothing triggers irritation and uncontrolled tearing like sunlight.  I carry two pairs with me in my purse and I have others in my car.

  64. 64.

    West of the Rockies

    @Barbara:

    My SO wears sunglasses indoors at times to combat frequent migraines.  Doing so for fashion, imho, is like sporting a man bun or a Chuck Todd beard.

  65. 65.

    Fleeting Expletive

    Re: all those pictures of Lev & Igor, thumbs up, with  republican celebs—it has the look to me of someone documenting their performance for the boss back home.  That was their assignment, to work their way in and around conservative bigwigs, get the pics, paste ’em in the home office scrapbook for Progress in Infiltrating Republican Power, as directed.

  66. 66.

    Mallard Filmore

    There are some here that wonder who told U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch to get the next plane out of Dodge.  From dailykos, it was “Carol Perez, Director General of the Foreign Service, urged her to catch the “next plane home” to Washington because “there was a lot of concern” for her, Yovanovitch recalled in closed-door testimony before the House Intelligence Committee on October 11, 2019.”

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/1/15/1911723/–You-can-do-anything-in-the-Ukraine-with-money-The-unprecedented-threat-to-a-U-S-ambassador

  68. 68.

    MattF

    @joel hanes: He’s staying away from windows, balconies, rooftops, elevators, open-pit mines, sky-diving competitions, and nuclear reactors. And Fifth Avenue.

  71. 71.

    Aleta

    Susan Simpson @TheViewFromLL2
    Robert Hyde, the goon working with Lev Parnas to surveil Ambassador Yovanovitch, doing push-ups in President Trump’s DC hotel, in a clip that feels more like surrealist cinema than real life. (includes a retweet linking to a (boring) RH-posted vid clip ) 

    Susan Simpson @TheViewFromLL2
    I’m sure there’s more to the story, but after reviewing Hyde’s twitter feed, I think the lesson is if you spend enough time hanging out at Trump-owned properties while wearing MAGA gear, eventually you’ll meet Trump and be asked to run surveillance on his enemies.

  73. 73.

    Aleta

    All these photos of beaming insects in their cleanest clothes (good god there’s Hyde w/Tiffany).  The key to me is how Barry M is singing Looks Like We Made It in their heads.   You can colorize them as tragedy if you FF to someone sitting on a greasy Trump bedspread, not all the lamps work, battery in the remote is dead.  Calling contact after contact, rising panic washing over that happyface.

  74. 74.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    Probably someone’s said this upthread (or is it down) but I’m pretty sure Hyde is on the left in the TRUMP tshirt. He’s quite young – kind of a pathetic case as well as a douchebag – and his smooth skin is a tell.
    Also, I’ve been doing semi-satirical sketches of some of these sterling characters, and I’d recognize Lev’s eyebrows anywhere.

  75. 75.

    Chris Johnson

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I’m following that ‘Russian government resigns en masse’ story with great interest.

    I think it’s a sign of weakness. Putin should not HAVE to force things like that to happen in the public eye if he really has control. Something is wrong over there and he’s so seriously threatened he has to resort to desperation tactics.

    Maybe he’s overcommitted over HERE trying to protect his ill-trained orange bondage puppy, and it’s been causing problems for him at home.

    No WAY should Putin have to be doing stuff that out-of-control. It’s a bad look. It’s a sign of serious weakness.

  79. 79.

    Jay

    @Chris Johnson:

    Putin is termed out as the head of Russia. ( President and Prime Minister).

    so, he needs to, over the remaining time, shift the center of power in Russia to a bunch of Parliamentary and Cabinet positions that can be held by one man or a small clique, so he can continue to rule Russia when he is no longer President.

    At the same time that he does this gradual power shift, he has to ensure that nobody, in these new “centres of power”, are anything but completely subservient Putin Lackeys, with out a single idea in their heads or any ambition other than riding Putins coat tails.

    Putin’s only problem, is that he can’t be President of Russia forever, by law. “They” have already changed the Constitution once to allow Putin to remain “leader”, trying to do so would get pushback. So an end run, it is.

  80. 80.

    The Truffle

    What is it with right-wing MAGA scumbags and stogies? I’m sure they think cigars make them look edgy. I just imagine how terrible these MAGAts must smell.

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