Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I was promised a recession.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

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Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    Martin

    A few updates:

    Zoom is now free for all schools and colleges. That was announced the other day, so check with your campus if that’s now an option. That was a solid move by them.

    I didn’t mention Google Classrooms because I don’t have more than cursory experience with it and I don’t know any universities that use it. My K-12 district uses Canvas for 9-12 and Google Classrooms for K-8. It’s not as comprehensive as Canvas, Blackboard, etc. but for creating and collecting assignments and maintaining a gradebook, I’ve heard very good things about it. So if that’s an option by all means check it out. Google tends to be very good at designing these things to be easy to use. I’m almost 100% a Google Drive/Docs user, with some Excel for data too big for Sheets to handle. Overall, I find their stuff to be excellent.

  6. 6.

    Mary G

    God, this press conference is a train wreck. “One month ago, nobody thought about this,” what the actual fuck.

  7. 7.

    JaySinWA

    The Washington state governor Inslee’s Q&A was an audio disaster, with feedback and echos when they unmuted the press. It would be helpful for a future session on how to manage Q&A with novice users.

  8. 8.

    Dadadadadadada

    As of last night, both my kids (aged 4 and 6) are out of school indefinitely. My wife has been furloughed from work for most of a week, so she’s home with them and trying to put some kind of home-school regimen together. One school has already done Zoom meetings, and the other is set to follow in a few days.

    And now, lucky me, I’ve gotten furloughed too (the 15-20-person staff I work on is going skeleton crew, so only 2 of us will be working on any given day), so I get to worry about all this too.

  10. 10.

    Tulip

    Sort of on topic (sort of) Bay Area just declared a shelter in place for the next 3 weeks for 6 counties. 6.7 million people will be affected including me. Trying to figure out what we are going to pay people, what is essential in terms of accounting etc. This is cray… reeling trying to figure out how to clear my desk. Thank goodness I will have remote access.

  11. 11.

    Martin

    @Tulip: UC Berkeley had a good plan to keep lab instruction in place that I helped design. That just went out the fucking window.

    Oh well. Bigger problems to solve. We probably didn’t really need those labs experiments anyway.

  14. 14.

    Tulip

    @Martin:  well hopefully everything will get back to normal in 3 weeks!?! I’ve been following this from an HR perspective, we’ve been planning for something like this at work, but wow. This came fast. Wonder if other counties will start to follow.

  15. 15.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Can someone please explain to me how a Payroll Tax Cut is going to help

    a) Staff in restaurants etc.,  that have been closed down due to the virus.

    b) Parents who have to take time off from work because their kids schools have been closed.

    It seems to me to be just a stealth way to defund SS and Medicaid.

  16. 16.

    JaySinWA

    @Martin: I had to turn the sound off.
    The closed captioning was distracting from the ASL guy, but I thought I caught a jerk off sign out of the corner of my eye. He was pretty expressive / impressive when I watched though.

  17. 17.

    Martin

    @Mary G: It would if he’d shut the fuck up.

    But, we kind of need an economic hibernation. Close the markets, put all loan repayments and rent collection on hold for everyone. Put a national moratorium on evictions and repos. Have the fed backstop the banks on the lack of loan payments rather than add liquidity, which nobody needs.

    That will keep most people economically stable. Then when this is over, unpause, and extend the term of the loans to make up for the pause.

    Because if the national economy stops but the finance guys keep going, they’ll do more damage than the virus does.

  19. 19.

    zhena gogolia

    Thanks, Martin. It’s hard to focus on anything right now. I look forward to being in a state where I can absorb it.

  24. 24.

    Martin

    @zhena gogolia: That’s okay. I think we’re all learning how life can overtake plans.

    I’m guessing that in a few weeks we can start to back off on some of these plans, at least in certain parts of the country. We may still be distance learning for a while, but we’ll be out of the ‘everything is getting worse every hour’ state of things. We can repost this stuff when people are ready to re-absorb it.

    A number of my faculty were relying on using their offices and such for streaming lectures and they’re now under orders to stay at home because they’re over 65. We haven’t even started to sort that out.

  25. 25.

    The Dangerman

    @JaySinWA:

    …but I thought I caught a jerk off sign out of the corner of my eye.

    LOL. I know it would be their last time, but, hell, go out in a blaze of editorializing glory. Or as SNL says wrt to Eric, it’s “roll the dice”.

  26. 26.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    This city’s afraid of me.

    I’ve seen its true face.

    The streets are extended gutters…
    …and the gutters are full of blood.
    And when the drains finally scab over…
    …all the vermin will drown.
    The accumulated filth will foam up
    around their waists…
    …and all the Wall Street whores and politicians

    will look up and shout, “Save us!”

    And I’ll whisper, “No.”

    ~ Hillary Clinton

  27. 27.

    WaterGirl

    @JaySinWA: I didn’t catch that, but I stand by my original response.

    I think we’ll be going out for groceries, but not much else, for a long time, if we don’t want people needlessly dying because there aren’t enough doctors/hospitals/respirators for people who need them.

  28. 28.

    eachother

    Highly obvious by virus and consequences, we are all connected in invisible and indivisible ways.  As it ever was.

    Our representatives in Washington had the chance to rid us of the president.  They didn’t though the laws broken were high crimes and misdemeanors.  Now he’s nuts and can be removed for that.

    People are dying and he’s no leader.

  29. 29.

    Immanentize

    @WaterGirl: I don’t think he got tested at all.  He couldn’t describe the test in the presser.  “It was, not pleasant, You know a medical test so not very nice.”
    From memory, but no detail.

    It’s a friggin throat swab like for strep.

  30. 30.

    Brachiator

    Actor Idris Elba has confirmed that he has tested positive for the corona virus.

    Making big headlines in the UK and making a splash over here as well

    Angry Black Lady sent Twitter message: If Idris Elba has the rona, none of us are safe.

  32. 32.

    Mary G

    @zhena gogolia: I saw on the earlier thread that you were thinking of quitting Balloon Juice, and just wanted to add my voice to those who hope you don’t, if you will be OK with that. You’re someone I value very much.

    I miss raven/RAVEN and Kay, too, among others.

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    @Immanentize: Head/desk.  I am amazed that he can even complete sentences at all at this point.  It seems to me that he is barely functional, completely disconnected from reality, probably has a voice in his ear telling him what to say.

  34. 34.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Immanentize: I thought it was a nasal test? I had one of those a few years back for, IIRC, MRSA, before rotator cuff surgery. It was worse than the surgery

    ETA: yes, I am a big baby

  36. 36.

    catclub

    @WaterGirl: but things will not be back to normal in 3 weeks.

     

    of course, you cushion the blow by only bringing this up after everything gets cancelled for two weeks.

     

    …. oh, by the way, not two weeks but 5, (or really, we still have no idea how long)

  38. 38.

    Brachiator

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Can someone please explain to me how a Payroll Tax Cut is going to help

    By itself and if the funds are not restored, it’s a bad deal

    But you have to do something to help small businesses and individuals.

    The entire economy is taking a hit.

    Just heard that movie theaters can’t seat more than 50 people in a screening. That hurts a lot of people.  And leaves a lot of unpopped popcorn.

  39. 39.

    Immanentize

    @JaySinWA: I am sure there are tons of exceptions….  When the Marathon Bombing happened, people were ordered to “voluntarily” shelter in place for a few days. People did it, but then again a massive hunt including shoot outs were happening.

    Is the San Fran order mandatory? Marshall law — you will be arrested or shot if we catch you out? Or “voluntary?”

  40. 40.

    WaterGirl

    @catclub: Bill Penzey (Penzey’s Spices) put out the most honest thing I have seen so far.

    Still, if the rest of the world is a guide, and it absolutely is, we won’t get to the other side of this outbreak until virtually everything shuts down for a month or two.

    It will still be longer than even that, but at least “virtually everything shuts down for a month or two” is a lot more honest and realistic than 2 weeks.

  41. 41.

    Elizabelle

    @Brachiator:   Saw that about Idris, and my first thought was of lamh36, who is going to be none too pleased about that news.

    Assuming she gets to come up for air and even learn about it.

  43. 43.

    mali muso

    Welp, one day into “working” from home remotely while trying to occupy a three year old and keep her from becoming a TV watching zombie.  Oh and just to make life more stressful, hubby is in Africa visiting family with a scheduled return of next week.  Assuming that there are any flights to be had by then.

    Some of the educational apps and video libraries are actually coming in handy as the kiddo enjoys “working” on them on my iPad next to me while I type on my MacBook.  Quoth her: “you do your work, mommy, and I will do mine.” lol

  44. 44.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle: I saw that, too.  Not Idris!  Then I thought, would I take care of Idris Elba who is sick with the virus?  Nope, I guess lamh wins this round.  Maybe I’ll get him next time.

  45. 45.

    Elizabelle

    @WaterGirl:   FWIW, I love that dog.  It has the proper WTF?! expression.

    A lot of us probably look like that now.  Less cliched than a deer in the headlights.

  47. 47.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle: I love him, too.  I took him down along with the rest of the original post.  This is an Open Thread now.

    Never fear, the dog will be back with future distance teaching posts.  I do find him captivating.

  48. 48.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Benjy [email protected]
    · 50m
    We’ll see what it translates to, but Trump seems to be heading toward wanting to one-up everyone on how big he’s willing to go on CV response, which seems much much much healthier than trying to one-up everyone on how confident he is in daily stock values. Huge shift.

  50. 50.

    Mandalay

    Well it took a while, but finally: White House encourages people to stay home.

    Now if Trump can publicly order Limbaugh and Hannity to stop spreading dangerous lies and misinformation about the virus being no big deal, and how we should preserve our normal routine, we’ll be making some real progress.

  53. 53.

    Brachiator

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    The problem with a payroll tax cut now, is many folk aren’t getting a paycheck, and those that do have limited places to spend it.

    Yeah, we have multiple issues that must be addressed. You could give people $1,000 each and they would also have limited places to spend it.

  55. 55.

    trollhattan

    @Brachiator: 
    IMO it’s a feeble adjustment just prior to theaters closing completely. Effective staggered seating isn’t all that easy to arrange.

    We went to a play Thursday, after a retirement party. The play was the final performance in that theater until further notice. I met (briefly) the state supreme court chief justice at the retirement party. She better not have given me the virus, or there will be words!

    And our final public act until who knows when, was the HS soccer end-of-season party with kids now out of school until…?

    This has been a year with a ton of last-ofs.

  56. 56.

    artem1s

    I’m scheduled to work the polls tomorrow in Ohio.  We were supposed to have a meeting tonight at our polling stations to prep.  Just got a call that the prep meeting tonight is canceled.  They are calling later about whether we should still show up tomorrow to work.  Ohio is trying to figure this out on the fly.  They extended the deadline to request mail-in ballots already.  I kind of hoping they postpone, continue early voting at the central county offices where it’s pretty easy to distance, and/or go 100% mail-in.

    So much for the Berner’s plans to disenfranchise Biden voters.

  59. 59.

    Sister Golden Bear

    This is a BFD….

    Six Bay Area counties announced a “shelter in place” order for all residents on Monday — the strictest measure of its kind in the country — directing everyone to stay inside their homes and away from others as much as possible for the next three weeks as public health officials desperately try to curb the rapid spread of coronavirus across the region.

    The order falls just short of a full lockdown, which would forbid people from leaving their homes without explicit permission, and it wasn’t immediately clear how, or to what degree, it would be enforced. The order calls for the sheriff or chief of police to “ensure compliance.”

    Still wrapping my mind around it. For me the biggest difficult is that I’m required to show up at work on the 31st to sign the layoff severance package (which for someone has to be signed that day). Given I was counting on that income, this a real problem.

    ETA: Saw others beat me to it.

  60. 60.

    Gvg

    My nephew in 5th grades first day of virtual school bombed. Teacher tried to use apples FaceTime and many of the kids got not available or were dropped while In class. Tomorrow they try GoTo. It’s a learning experience for the lucky teachers (sarcasm). I am sure it might have worked better if the county hadn’t delayed closing till the state told them too. It was announced just after the students left school Friday.
    Here, they are starting with a two week closure and the public schools are treating it as an extended spring break, no classes. That will change, but it buys them some time I guess. The private school isn’t bothering to pretend and I guess this week will be trial and error.

  62. 62.

    zhena gogolia

    @noname:

    Thank you. We sadly decided not to take the cats right now. I was waking up at 3 AM worrying about how to feed and care for them on top of everything else. It seems the owner has found at least a temporary place for them. I was hoping we could take them when everything “settles down,” but it doesn’t look as if that’s going to be any time soon.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    @Mary G:

    It will take care of itself.

    It won’t be good for anyone with real money or invested in the stock market but it will take care of itself.

    Said care may exist of jumping out of tall buildings or jumping in front of a bus but they will manage. And the reality is that other than bank failure and our current governments inability to do anything anywhere near correctly most of us will be OK. Right up until the moment the depression hits. So really all is well…….

  72. 72.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @WaterGirl: @Renie: I’d actually emailed my HR rep this morning about what to do if the office was closed, or if I got sick and couldn’t leave the house. Haven’t heard back (and I don’t know if she was also one of the people who getting laid off — half the office is getting laid off or having their jobs moved out of state).

    Docusign would be the logical alternative, but I don’t know if they’ve thought that far ahead.

  73. 73.

    Ruckus

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Bingo, you win the prize today.

    It is a useless response because in the end it will make things a lot worse for a lot of people and only short term possible help for a relative few.

  75. 75.

    Brachiator

    @trollhattan:

    IMO it’s a feeble adjustment just prior to theaters closing completely. Effective staggered seating isn’t all that easy to arrange.

    For movie theaters with electronic seat selection, which a lot of multiplexes have, I think you could handle audiences fairly efficiently and spread them around, even allowing for more than 50.

    But I think yeah, the theaters will end up being closed down.

  78. 78.

    Ohio Mom

    Hearing rumors that Ohio is considering postponing tomorrow’s primary.  Talk about last minute — this is chaos in the making.

    There are some important local contests and a critical bus levy on the ballot I am eager to vote for. I generally like the short walk to the poll and seeing neighbors there, so I didn’t consider a mail-in ballot. Oops

  79. 79.

    Ruckus

    @zhena gogolia:

    Sorry about the cats.

    Please stay. We need your voice.

    We all get a bit testy at times but we are for the most part a big extended family. And my family is all gone so this and a couple of friends and work is all I have. And tomorrow I’m having the talk with the boss about that. I don’t want to stop even for a short time but reality wears an ugly hat and it’s about as real as it gets right now. I’ve been in a major natural disaster – a major earthquake, and that was no fun at all. This is far, far worse.

  80. 80.

    Feathers

    @Sister Golden Bear: How and where do they have to be submitted? Those are the people to let you know what is required. Back in my admin life, I sometimes resorted to submitting the pdf and mailing a hard copy of the signature pages. You need what will satisfy the people saying it has been submitted.

    ETA everybody is working out how to work from home. Give everybody else until the end of the week to get back to you.

  81. 81.

    Brachiator

    @WaterGirl:

    but if they owe rent or a mortgage payment and need food or medicine, who cares where they spend it?

    Again, we have multiple issues. In some cases where stores are closed and you cannot leave the house, you cannot spend the money you have

    Issues of paying rent or mortgages add a whole new layer that needs to be addressed

  84. 84.

    Capri

    So I just came from a meeting at my work where my department discussed how to change how we do business due to the corona virus threat. We have students and work with the public, so we’re talking real risk.  We can only go in with crappy half measures because the head of our entire school wants to keep doing “business as usual.”

    I can’t even….

  86. 86.

    WaterGirl

    @Capri: I hope you live in a blue state or somewhere with a sane governor or official who will set a standard that is reasonable.  What you described is horrible.

  87. 87.

    Nora Lenderbee

    @Immanentize: According to the SF Chron:

    The order calls for county and city sheriffs or police chiefs to “ensure compliance,” and local authorities said they would not “rush to enforce” the directives as residents adjusted to understand what activities are no longer allowed.

    A later article says:

    In San Francisco, Police Chief Bill Scott said his department would be “looking for voluntary compliance” with the health order. The order does carry the force of law — police could cite people with a misdemeanor for failing to comply with it — but Scott was clear that such a measure was an “absolute last resort.”

  88. 88.

    Geminid

    This epidemic will bring real economic hardship to many people. I remember how the 2008 crash deflected my economic situation down for several lean years, and I know that many others were hurt worse than me. This will be worse in the short term. I sure hope its not worse in the long term, but we may not know till this time next year. One potential benefit though, is that a lot of Americans will get to slow down for a few weeks. I think that we are somewhat stress addicted as a society, and doing without “the everyday running around” may help some of us see better what makes life worthwhile.

  90. 90.

    Feathers

    @Capri: My fear is that the red vs blue state outcomes will be seen as proof that this was an evil liberal scheme to wipe out Republicans.

    The only way to stop this is if something or someone ends the Fox News propaganda machine.

  91. 91.

    WaterGirl

    @Capri: Sigh.  There may not have been red states and blue states when Obama gave his famous speech, but there are now, and it’s about to get worse.

    I’m sorry, I hope your boss comes to his senses soon.

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