Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

In after Baud. Damn.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

Fear and negativity are contagious, but so is courage!

“woke” is the new caravan.

Fight them, without becoming them!

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Be a wild strawberry.

Everybody saw this coming.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

This blog will pay for itself.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Homework Assignment Due One Week From Today: Haikus, Limericks and One-Act Plays

Homework Assignment Due One Week From Today: Haikus, Limericks and One-Act Plays

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This post is in: ,

Following up on last night’s Let’s Make Our Own Fun post, the following contests will be held:

Best Haikus
Best Limericks
Best Dirty Limericks
Best One-Act Plays, 10-minute variety
Best Six-Word Memoirs

Submissions are due one week from Today: Saturday, March 28.  8pm sharp, Balloon Juice time.
Anyone can play, and you may submit in all 5 categories, if desired.
Unless you have extra toilet paper or good dark chocolate, attempts at bribery will not be tolerated.

You may submit your entries in advance by sending them to me via email, or you can post them in the comments in the special thread next Saturday.

Haikus, limericks and dirty limericks are surely self-explanatory, and you can use the Google to learn more about six-word memoirs.

The One-Act Play, 10-minute variety, has special rules, as suggested by BGinCHI:

  1. It should have both male & female characters, one of which can be an animal.
  2. Adult themes and accidental violence are suggested, but not required.  Extra-light nudity is allowed, but not required. No Cole nudity.
  3. Winner gets his/her play acted out by Cole, filmed, posted as an Open Thread.

As to the third point for the 10-minute one-act play, I feel certain that BG has already cleared that with Cole. :-)

*****

If I receive enough pet pic submissions, Pet Picture Bingo can start in a couple of days.  I have about 10 so far.

*****

The following have been suggested as groupings for entertainment possibilities, with links in the sidebar so people can continue to add ideas and resources, which everyone can easily access as the days go by:

Starting with These
– Aquariums & Zoos
– Free streaming services while stuck inside
– Free online concerts
– Fun podcasts
– Political podcasts
– Books on tape
– Computer gaming thread
– Old-time radio
– Playlist of relaxing music
– Online puzzle sites
– Arts & Crafts (including Avalune drawing animals)
– Fun twitter

Books (by category)
– Biographies
– Fiction
– YA Fiction
– Graphic Novel / Manga

TV shows
– Lighthearted shows
– More violent, stressful shows

Movies (by category)
– Action/Adventure
– Animation & Anime
– Best Bad Movies (ex: Airplane)
– “Chick flicks” (yell at NotMax, not me)
– Classics (say, pre-1960, or a date to be named later)
– Comedy
– Detective/Mystery
– Documentary
– Drama
– Foreign films
– Guilty Pleasures
– Kids Fare
– History
– Literary Adaptations
– Noir
– Romance
– Science Fiction & Fantasy
– Silent movies
– Sitcoms (TV)
– Thriller/Horror
– Westerns

Note from WG: Chime in if you had an idea in last night’s thread and you don’t see it here.  I think I got them all but you never know.

Reader Interactions

141Comments

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    Computer/console games would be another category to add for entertainment. Lots of possibilities, ranging from the soothing to the challenging.

  3. 3.

    JPL

    That’s way to much work but I will say that Spencer Confidential kinda sucks.   That’s okay though in today’s environment.

  6. 6.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Extra-light nudity is allowed, but not required.

    I see I was outvoted. I’ll just say, like HRC, I warned you.

  12. 12.

    WaterGirl

    @Omnes Omnibus: I did add “extra-light”, in the hopes of splitting the baby between you (dear god, no nudity!) and BG (light nudity required).

    I thought for sure trying to split the baby would work this time!

    *nudity vs no-nudity rule can be changed with a majority rule.

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    @WereBear: Somewhere, in a corner, gwangung is silently weeping after reading your comment.

    edit: maybe we need two sections for that – one for professional playwrights and one for amateurs.

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    We’re trying to decide on something stupid to watch tonight. G’s first thought was “Stepbrothers,” but I’m not sure. I may be feeling more “Austin Powers.” ?

  32. 32.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    Does the play get extra points if it passes the Bechdel Test?

    About the movie categories, I kind of like the extra tags that Netflix adds. A lot of my favorites have “Quirky” as a tag. So can I suggest people identify sub-genres like Quirky Romance, Quirky Comedy, or combos like Comedy Romance Horror Mystery?

    Also, who dares classify a brilliant parody like Airplane as a “Bad Movie”?

  34. 34.

    JPL

    @WaterGirl: But with Mark Wahlberg.

    I loved Spencer for Hire and maybe someone who never saw the original series or read the books will like it, but doubtful.

  35. 35.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @WaterGirl: Now, now, that isn’t fair to the ladies or the gentlemen of a gayer persuasion.  I am just saying (and I think Cole himself would back me here) no Cole nudity.

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    I kind of like the extra tags that Netflix adds. A lot of my favorites have “Quirky” as a tag. So can I suggest people identify sub-genres like Quirky Romance, Quirky Comedy, or combos like Comedy Romance Horror Mystery?

    We can put something like that in the individual posts that go up for people to suggest their favorites.  Unless you want a quirky category that is all quirky movies, regardless of drama, mystery, etc?

  38. 38.

    debbie

    @CaseyL:

    My father had an aquarium filled with seahorses. They really are cute little things. Also nice to see a man doing a woman’s work for a change.

  40. 40.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Omnes Omnibus: What if there’s a flashback scene involving a mop?

    Years ago I remember actors on some TV show, possibly “NYPD Blue”, talking about a makeup lady whose specialty was body makeup. If you saw her coming for you, you knew that your naked butt was going to be on TV.

  41. 41.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @WaterGirl: I wouldn’t mind that personally but I don’t want to create confusion by having 400 different categories.

  46. 46.

    Avalune

    Fruits Basket is an anime (well it’s also a manga but that would go under books). We were kind of derailed by talking about haiku in anime and started discussing other anime. So that part actually fits more with the movie category section, is what I’m trying to say here. And where is nonfiction in books? Lol)

    Maybe we just have a category for art and craft – which can include doing animals with me if we want but there are a lot of good deals on art classes, or instructors doing free classes etc that could be linked in such a category if we opened it up a bit (course some of those are on instagram TV, so that might be a barrier in some cases but some are also on YouTube etc).

  47. 47.

    Mnemosyne

    @WaterGirl:

    Johnny Flynn, who played Mr. Knightley. That’s the nice thing about women directors, they like to spread the wealth like that. ?

  49. 49.

    JaySinWA

    You want to do all of these on the same day? I would think some pacing would be helpful. Maybe one a day and start earlier for the easier stuff?

  52. 52.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: You have computer games listed 2x.

    And maybe Graphic Novel/Manga for the book category and add Anime as a category in movies.

    Or am I being too picky? I mean anime CAN fall under animated I suppose but sometimes people get prickly about that).

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus

    In other good news, I would like to let everyone know that I finally was able to find Bonne Maman orange marmalade at the grocery store today.  There were two jars left.  I took one.

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne

    @WaterGirl:

    You could just make it “Aquariums & Zoos” and add the Monterey Bay Aquarium. They have livecams, plus they’ve been doing a bunch of Facebook videos with morning meditations, views of the animals, etc. I can post some links if you want them.

  55. 55.

    WaterGirl

    @JaySinWA: What do you mean by all of these?  If you mean the limericks, haikus, one act play etc, then yeah, I thought we might do them all together because I don’t know how many people will actually do it.

    The others would definitely not be all together.

    Say more about what you mean, please. :-)

  57. 57.

    Avalune

    Grats Omnes lol! We went to the store – in part because the elderly woman on the third floor was telling us that the food she uses to give her old JRT medication was out and the order still hadn’t arrived, so we went out to get Pebbles some food and treats to tide them over. The only thing we were really after that we couldn’t find today was eggs. Some other stuff was out but nothing we can’t live without for a little bit.

  58. 58.

    dmsilev

    @WaterGirl:

    Added.  Is that different from “computer gaming thread”?  (not a gamer, so i am totally ignorant)

    No, it just means that I missed seeing “computer gaming thread” in the list. Sorry about that.

  60. 60.

    WaterGirl

    @Avalune: dms suggested computer console at #2, and I asked him if that was different than the computer games i already had listed, but he seems to be gone already.

    No, absolutely not too picky!  I am not an animation, anime, graphic novel person, and i have no idea what Manga even is, so please stick with me til I get it right.

    Please check my work again, if you would be so kind. :-)

  62. 62.

    schrodingers_cat

    This enforced goody goody cheer is reminding me of my Catholic school days. Whatever happened to the snarling mass of vitriolic and intelligent jackals debating politics.

  63. 63.

    Ella in New Mexico

    There is no way any of us are gonna be able to wait a whole week for most of these :-D

  67. 67.

    piratedan

    @Avalune: i would agree, I mean its a bit difficult to lump films like Bambi in with Akira, sure animators were involved with each, but that’s about it.

  70. 70.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: Looks good to me.

    I’d argue one category for computer/console gaming is sufficient for gamers. Anyone who disagrees can fight me.

  75. 75.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: Everything non essential is closed. We can still go to the grocery store but not much outside that. I have a feeling we’re going to be moving towards the shelter in place rules which are a bit more limiting in the near future though, so we figured we’d take care of Pebbles and grab a few more things while we still can.

  76. 76.

    Feathers

    If you have TCM, I highly, highly recommend Ascenseur pour l’échafaud/Elevator to the Gallows (1958), which is showing tonight at 12AM EST and tomorrow at 10AM EST. It’s a fantastic French noir film. What makes it sublime and necessary is the score by Miles Davis. Director Louis Malle asked him to do the music. What Miles did was watch a rough cut, take some notes. When the film was finished, he pulled together a quartet. With no prep, they watched the finished film and did a one take improv score. It’s more a mood and Jeanne Moreau than anything else, but a perfect film for a pandemic evening, or Sunday morning. Eddie Muller, head of the Film Noir Foundation, does the intros and they are always entertaining and informative.

  78. 78.

    WaterGirl

    @schrodingers_cat:

    This enforced goody goody cheer is reminding me of my Catholic school days.

    Wow.  If this is coming off as enforced goody goody cheer, then I am doing it wrong!

    Or, alternatively, this may not be the thread for you.

  79. 79.

    NotMax

    So much crossover between Animated and Anime it seems redundant to have both, but whatever.

    Omission by me from the movie/TV categories which can be added, purty please:

    Kids Fare.

    Purposely left it out from the suggestions, but if enough interest might add War as a discrete genre as well. Airplane! a bad movie? Phew, tough audience.

  80. 80.

    WaterGirl

    @Ella in New Mexico:

    There is no way any of us are gonna be able to wait a whole week for most of these :-D

    Do you mean the haikus and limericks, etc?  Or for the lists of movies, zoo links, etc?

    Everything is flexible.  I thought maybe we’d do one “list” thread a day so we can start getting those together.

    But if people want to start sending their haikus and dirty limericks etc if there are a bunch of them, I could post them as we get enough for a thread.

  81. 81.

    WaterGirl

    @Avalune: dms weighed in to say he had missed the computer gaming in the original list, so we are now back down to just one. :-)  i am so not a gamer that I didn’t know if there was a distinction between console games and not.  Sad.

  83. 83.

    WaterGirl

    @Avalune: You were good to take care of your neighbor.  The stores were ghastly here yesterday as soon as the Gov said we would start lockdown (shorthand for whatever he called it) today.

  84. 84.

    Hummus Where The Heart Is

    Best Dirty Limericks

    Hey, I heard this was a Family Blog! I may have been misdirected. Or over medicated and beared left when I should have beared right (or maybe they meant bared … deep thoughts, deep thoughts).

    Can I apologize in advance to the City of Dallas, given it is the only city I can think of which rhymes with phallus?

  85. 85.

    WaterGirl

    @NotMax: To me, that’s the ultimate compliment.  Airplane is the best bad movie ever made!  I LOVE airplane.  So maybe we have a different idea of what bad movies are?

    I will combine Animation & Anime in one thread, and folks who are adding things can just say which it is.  Or maybe animation or anime people would know without being told.

  89. 89.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: Eh I wouldn’t say it’s sad but there can be a fierce competition between people who are considered computer gamers vs ones who are console gamers. As far as this blog is concerned I think it’s more just a matter of some games aren’t available on both.

     

    @NotMax: I know and I was thinking that too (re redundant) but at the same time, as pirate pointed out there is enough of a difference. Gets kind of pedantic like manga vs comics vs graphic novels. We could categorize and sub categorize all day but let’s not!

  92. 92.

    Yutsano

    @Avalune:  Since you mentioned Fruits Basket (which I have time to catch up on now!) it gave me a couple of other good recommendations.

     A Place Further than the Universe is a 13 episode original story (not based on a manga or light novel) that is about four girls who go on the ultimate adventure. It’s not dubber yet, but that
    s in production. Really good storytelling and very well drawn. Plus PENGIES!!!!

    Ascendance of a Bookworm is a unique take on the isekai trope (where a character wakes up in another world suddenly) as a Japanese girl who gets reincarnated in an European style medieval world but keeps all her old memories. No dub released but Funimation is probably on top of it. Between the story and the world building this one is really sucking me in!

    Gonna go watch a few things methinks!

  96. 96.

    WaterGirl

    @schrodingers_cat: These are not normal times, and some of us need a break from the grim realities and current events.  If you’re not one of those people, I would suggest that you go to View by Topic in the sidebar, and pick the category called “Politics”.

    You’ll see a picture of Nancy Pelosi schooling all the men around the table.  There are surely recent political threads that might have missed the first time around.

    Or choose “Election Year” and read some of the argumentative threads from the past year.  We really are a full service blog.

  98. 98.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: Every time I see ole Pebbles I think about how she’d try to make her owner wait at the stairs for Leto every day, being a dog and not knowing he was in a motorcycle accident. So of course I wanted to help take care of the old doggo! We have a lot of older folks in this building and now that Leto is over his bronchitis I wanted to start checking in with them and make sure everyone is doing ok.

  99. 99.

    randy khan

    I’m thinking a one-act play in haiku; sort of like Shakespeare doing everything in iambic pentameter.  Although I think that might be difficult.

    An important rules question:  10 minutes max, any minimum?  Or just within a reasonable range of 10 minutes?

  100. 100.

    Hummus Where The Heart Is

    @NotMax:

    Airplane! a bad movie? Phew, tough audience.

    I know. I call classic.  That and Kentucky Fried Movie? Same guys, right?

  101. 101.

    Avalune

    @randy khan: That would be an interesting experiment.

    I’m one to over complicate things and drive myself crazy – so I’m glad it’s you and not me. :D

  102. 102.

    middlelee

    @WaterGirl: Back in the 1960s and 1970s when I watched football with my then husband that was my favorite part.  Football players almost all have nice butts.  Not nude, unfortunately.

  105. 105.

    WaterGirl

    @randy khan: No minimum.  Maximum of 10 minutes, but we’ll give you an extra minute leeway. :-)

    edit: I actually have no idea how the # of minutes could even accurately be determined!

  107. 107.

    NotMax

    @WaterGirl

    Diff’rent strokes and all that but I’d be hard pressed to put Airplane! and, say, Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! in the same category.

    ;)

  110. 110.

    WaterGirl

    @sdhays: It’s a good one!  I appreciate you noticing.  I try hard to find just the right pictures for everything on the site, but no one really seems to notice.  But I do, so it’s worth it.

  112. 112.

    WaterGirl

    @Avalune: Dear Madam,

    I regret to inform you that you have not read the rules for the One-Act play, 10-minute edition, carefully enough.  It is Cole who has to enact the play, and if the play includes a female, I do not plan to audition for the part.

    Like Omnes, I am better at being an audience than being a performer.

    Sincerely, WG

  113. 113.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl: Right wing conspiracy! Emails! Hilary! I blame Obama

     

    But having mentioned Cole – I feel like I would totally like to see a video of him reading children’s stories.

  121. 121.

    Avalune

    @WaterGirl:

    There once was a West Virginian named Cole

    Who thought the president a giant butthole

    He gnashed his teeth

    And begged relief

    But the president continued to troll

  125. 125.

    JanieM

    @WaterGirl:

    If this is coming off as enforced goody goody cheer, then I am doing it wrong!

    It isn’t, and you’re not.

    By the way, I have several bars of Alter Eco Deep Dark Salted Burnt Caramel Organic Chocolate (70% cocoa). What are you offering?

    Although I’m not sure what you could offer me that would make me part with them. And since I’m not even doing my own grocery shopping right now, I don’t know if they’re in short supply

    ETA: Or are you a purist, and only looking for unadulterated chocolate? I’m mostly like that, but with exceptions.

  127. 127.

    WaterGirl

    @JanieM: Those do look good!  Hang on to your chocolate, you might get desperate.  :-)

    Happy to hear that I was not, indeed, coming off in a way that was not intended.

  129. 129.

    WaterGirl

    @JanieM: As long as it’s good dark chocolate, I am flexible.  Not sure about the “burnt” part, but I love browned butter.

    I have CBD dark chocolate and some high end dark chocolate chips.  And by “some”, I mean that 3 weeks ago I bought three 12-oz packages.  So I’m good for awhile.

  131. 131.

    dmsilev

    @WaterGirl: I told a coworker on Wednesday that “I have 7 bottles of wine and 3 pounds of chocolate. I’m all set …for the first week”.

  132. 132.

    JanieM

    @WaterGirl: Burnt caramel is its own special wonder. I used to spend about a week a month in Cambridge, Mass., for work, and there is (or was?) an ice cream store there called Toscanini’s. They have a burnt caramel flavor, and if you ask for it they make sure you know what you’re getting into, because it’s pretty strong. But a dollop of their burnt caramel ice cream with some hot fudge sauce on it is the best ice cream treat I’ve ever had. I used to eat Alter Eco dark chocolate straight up, until they came out with the burnt caramel variation. It’s expensive, but one square a day is my daily treat.

  140. 140.

    JaySinWA

    @WaterGirl: I envisioned a cacophony of posts, but I guess you are envisioning a cacophony of replies to a few posts. I just thought it might be better to do a few at a time and do it over several days. But most all of this is out of my wheelhouse anyway, so I am probably not the audience you should try to please.

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