Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

The lights are all blinking red.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

If West Virginia and San Francisco had a love child.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

I was promised a recession.

Every day Vance writes another chapter in the book called “Worst VP Pick Ever”.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

We still have time to mess this up!

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

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Reader Interactions

80Comments

  1. 1.

    Kattails

    So I need to submit a couple of jpegs of my artwork to Cole or Watergirl?  I was trying to figure this out last night.  I don’t have a website to link to at this point.

  2. 2.

    Laura Koerber

    Okay!  My book, WIld Hare, made the Kirkus Review list of one hundred best indy books. Here’s the review: https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/laura-koerber/wild-hare/

    Bob Fallon is half-human and “half-forest spirit from the wild hare clan,” and he owns one of the last remaining bits of forested land in northern Wisconsin. It would be easy for him to dismiss humankind entirely—and on some days, that’s exactly what he wants to do. His clan’s mantra of “feed, fuck, fight” has governed a lot of his life, and he can’t help but feel a smoldering rage about the destruction of the forests and other injustices in his surroundings. Koerber’s characterization of Bob is perhaps the book’s strongest element; the protagonist’s jaded, acidic attitude will put readers perfectly into a noirish mindset. At the same time, Bob does a great job of providing context, both for the decaying world he inhabits and for his own limited abilities: “since I’m a fairy, why can’t I fix things?” When Arne, one of his few friends, is jailed for failing to pay speeding tickets, Bob starts raising money for his release, but this is easier said than done, as Bob has spent years avoiding townspeople, doing begrudging odd jobs for them, or outright stealing from them—and the state adds Arne’s room and board to the fine every day. Bob works inside and outside the law as he runs afoul of local militia, a congressman with shady ties, and a host of other fairies, spirits, and tricksters. Overall, the story manages to weave together a complex tapestry of themes, from climate change to poverty to what qualifies as morality in a world that’s facing catastrophe. The prose is clear and concise throughout, giving readers a sense of each scene and character through the protagonist’s eyes.

    More reviews: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50927751-wild-hare

    I used to donate all sales to animal rescues but I gave half of my last check to Biden and half to Any Grath.  Thank you for this opportunity to share our stuff!

  3. 3.

    NotMax

    if you got a skill for it and want to show it off

    Balloon Juice After Dark traipsed in early today.

    :)

  5. 5.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    I have a new YA fantasy coming out on June 27. The release was delayed from May in the hopes that by then people would have energy for something other than worrying about the virus. It’s called THE WYSMAN. Here’s the blurb:

    Street kids are dying. Does anyone care?

    Former street kid Jarka is now an apprentice Wysman, training to advise the king. When poor children begin disappearing, he’s horrified to suspect that the monster grabbing them comes from the castle. His search for the truth takes him from digging up ancient history to battling those who want to beat or bleed the magic out of him. And whose side is the king on, in his determination to bind his nobles to him no matter what black arts they’ve been dabbling in?

    ETA: Also, to Kattails @1, I’d like to see your art.

  6. 6.

    Baud

    @Laura Koerber:

    Impressive.

    I used to donate all sales to animal rescues but I gave half of my last check to Biden and half to Any Grath

    You are good people.

  8. 8.

    Uncle Cosmo

    How about a pome? I used to rite pomes:

    ONE MIDNIGHT, NEAR PADDINGTON

    The clock hands clapped
    and she left me to the square

    once more a pumpkin
    holding a slipper of air

    Now where
    might I find
    the shape of a soul
    to fit this dream

    much less a kingdom
    to give her

  10. 10.

    Adam L Silverman

    I’m a low intensity warfare specialisr.

    i can help you plan and execute asymmetrical, irregular, and unconventional wars, revolutions, revolts, rebellions, insurgencies, guerrilla campaigns, counter revolutions, counter insurgencies, and counter terrorism campaigns, Civil Affairs and PSYOP Operations.

    Most Balloon Juice members qualify for the friends and family rate. Email today for a quote on a bespoke low intensity warfare operation that will make you the envy of your family, friends, and colleagues!

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    @Adam L Silverman:

    i can help you plan and execute asymmetrical, irregular, and unconventional wars, revolutions, revolts, rebellions, insurgencies, guerrilla campaigns, counter revolutions, counter insurgencies, and counter terrorism campaigns, Civil Affairs and PSYOP Operations.

    So, a PTA President?

    Edit: Or HOA Board member.

  13. 13.

    PaulWartenberg

    I just submitted two blog articles from my political rant page to the Florida Writers Association’s Royal Palm Literary Awards in the Nonfiction Short category.

    I hope to get a story finished for their Annual Anthology soon, as well as a short fiction story to submit as well.

  14. 14.

    Chris Johnson

    I’m making hours of live music on the internet. If you like modular synths and/or techno music :)

    https://soundcloud.com/airwindows

    It’s downloadable, but if you download it you get the real deal, basically the original master. 24/96k, for them as likes audio lots :)

  15. 15.

    Jack Canuck

    As far as making a living, I’m a secondary school history teacher (and feeling pretty lucky at the moment to have a job that I’m not likely to lose, to be honest). But in my non-money-making life, I do photography and music.

    My photography is here.

    My music is here. Everything you hear is done by me, at home. I’m thinking about spending some money on a good electronic drum pad so I can finally add percussion & drums to the songs and finish them off completely.

  16. 16.

    Bill Arnold

    Since open thread:
    Coughing, sneezing, talking resulting in microdroplets floating in air, very interesting video.
    Micro droplets suspending in air
    Doesn’t directly address mask usage but obviously masks would block much of the projection of droplets during talking (and breathing) at least, and probably during coughing, sneezing too. Also an interesting bit about clearing the air with proper ventilation.

  17. 17.

    realbtl

    I  sent TaMara my song for the times, an updated version of “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore” for one of the respites.  Been doing FB songs for my friends, next up is “It Must Have Been Moonglow.”  I live on 5 acres and will be doing concerts for my 12 neighbor families once it warms up here in NW MT outside of course.  +1 for amplification.

  19. 19.

    Flanders' Other Neighbor

    I like to make bicycle frames and forks for garage hobbies – box of tubes and a torch type of stuff.  Bicycles have such simplicity and beauty that I consider them art.

  21. 21.

    A Ghost to Most

    I make things. All sorts of things, but my artsy side is taken up with utilitarian items constructed of walnut, leather, and brass.

    Right now, I am making face masks from treasured tee shirt art.

  23. 23.

    Kattails

    I just sent a couple of jpegs to Watergirl, if that works.  Right now I’m refreshing an old skill, calligraphy;  I do watercolor flowers, seasonal images for commercial work (licensing). Have some new ideas percolating and honestly, the time at home lately has been super useful in just brushing up and being able to play and experiment.

    I’ve always spent time outdoors and have been working on oil paintings. The gallery I have has been closed for 3 weeks, but he’s working on hanging in, he’s been in business for a while. So fingers crossed on that. I love to garden, and have a BS in Geology, so it all kind of slots together.

    Great to see what everyone does!

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    In failed artist news, the short story anthology that I submitted a story to got cancelled due to Covid-19 related financial difficulties. Feh.

  27. 27.

    Kattails

    @Adam L Silverman: What are the rates, flat rate vs hourly?  Is there a minimum fee?  “Kill” fee (heh) if I back out–Presume you keep the advance. Materials–do you supply or do I need to put up the rocket launcher?  Fully insured? You’d show us how to get the most bang for our bucks? Work with reliable subcontractors? this is serious stuff here.

  32. 32.

    leeleeFL

    @debbie: Funny, I unfriended my Sister recently.  Amazing what a single text can precipitate.

    I don’t need war-making advice.  I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

  33. 33.

    CaseyL

    OK!  After talking about my fused glass for ages, I can finally show you all some of my work as I’ve finally uploaded some photos to a couple of sites.

    It’s just amazing what you can do, artistically, with glass.  I tried many methods and got hooked on fusing.  Part of what the attraction is how much variety fusing encompasses:  I work with bits of colored sheet glass, ground up colored glass called “frit,” dichroic glass, and enamels.  I do pet portraits, landscapes, seascapes, and pure design, playing with color and texture.

    I’ve tried twice to link to photos of my work and each time get an error message; possibly I can’t link to Etsy.  So let’s just try Flickr.

    If you want to see my stuff on Etsy, just look for “CielsGlass.”  The shop is very much a shell at this point, with only two pieces uploaded.  I’m hoping to get more up there this weekend.

  36. 36.

    donnah

    I have posted recently about my rug hooking progress on a tribute to Helen Keller. I actually have made progress since being home, but it’s bittersweet, as four of my scheduled workshops have cancelled so far. Teaching is how I earn money, and losing these classes is a big loss.

    https://imgur.com/gallery/7ersay2

    https://imgur.com/gallery/y6E4RDa

    But I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself! I am working on this as much as possible and hope that my big annual rug show might still be happening in August, where it can be exhibited. I love creating my art rugs and I love the challenge of the medium. I draw all of my own patterns and dye my own wool, so they’re truly original work.

  43. 43.

    Mustang Bobby

    WaterGirl has graciously included me on the Balloon Juice Our Authors page under Playwrights, so there’s not much need for me to blow my own horn too much here except to add that one of my plays, “A Life Enriching Community,” has been chosen for publication by ArtAge Publications, which catalogues and licenses plays directed at older actors.  It will be available sometime soon; I’ll update WaterGirl when I have the details.  If you’re interested, you can find out more about my playwriting on my page at New Play Exchange.

  46. 46.

    Lyrebird

    I scribble and glue cut up pieces of paper down when I make time for it, and I am halfway to having a Zazzle shop.  I like the look of ArtistShops better, but mostly I envision these as note cards, not tee shirts, so I need an outlet that makes cards.

    Oh I also post long after threads are done…

    Of course nowadays I worry that I might spread viruses by sending physical mail… maybe it’s not the best time to offer notecards.

  47. 47.

    Lyrebird

    @Jack Canuck:  I’m thinking about spending some money on a good electronic drum pad

    I hope you find one you like at last half as much as Amir likes his latest guitar!  Your demo song sounds very professional already, but I think adding more percussion would be super.

    Kindof amazed at the varied talents shown on this thread.

  48. 48.

    Quiltingfool

    @dmsilev: I read your reply to Adam; your suggestions made me giggle, especially when I thought of those skills applied to teaching junior high students, and dealing with other junior high teachers and administrators.  Heh.  (No disrespect to you, Adam!  I enjoy your posts, very informative.)

  51. 51.

    Ivan X

    I write and produce my own music! I’d wanted to do it pretty much my whole life, and was just blocked, and now I’m finally doing it like there’s no tomorrow. Which it sort of feels like there isn’t, as it happens. It’s kind of electronic-ish experimental new wavey punky 80’s style angsty rock, not that I’m trying for that, but that’s what comes out. I am what made me.

    Now I only seem to be writing coronavirus themed songs. It’s on my mind. I wrote this one yesterday and today, it’s still a little rough:

    https://soundcloud.com/ivanxnyc/new-world

    All my stuff is at https://soundcloud.com/ivanxnyc — a lot of them are one minute songs, and those with their videos are also at https://instagram.com/ivanxnyc

    If it’s not for you, I know. I’m just trying to have it be…me. I know that’s not going to be for everyone.

    Love you BJ creative people and every other commenter!

  52. 52.

    Laura Koerber

    For some reason I can’t get the reply to work so I hope opiejeanne sees this: Thank you! I hope you enjoy it! And stay safe from that virus!

  54. 54.

    Quiltingfool

    As evidenced by my nym, I make quilts.  Lots of them.  I finally opened an Etsy store and have made a few sales, which made me feel rather giddy (omg, people LIKE my work!).  I work on them every day, and I’m glad I have a hobby that brings me joy, which is very much needed after reading about the political shit tornado going on.  I’ve got three quilt tops ready to load on my quilting machine, and right now I’m working on a paper pieced cat quilt – Sawtooth Cat – my 4th one.  If I had a bit of computer savvy, I would direct you to my Pinterest quilt page, but you could see some of them on my Etsy page, QuiltingByCynthia.

    My favorite quilts to make are cat themed quilts, but I have to keep telling myself that not everybody likes cats as much as I do!  If there are any quilters who read this blog and want to try new quilt tools, I highly recommend Studio 180 rulers and technique sheets.  They are the best rulers I’ve ever used; if I had to rate quilting tools, rotary cutters would be first, and Studio 180 tools second. Well, affordable quilting machines are also high on my list, too.

  55. 55.

    Jack Canuck

    @Lyrebird: I have collected quite a satisfactory array of guitars over the years – nothing super-expensive, but good 6- and 12-string acoustics and electrics, plus a nice hollow-body bass, a Fender-style Bass VI, and an electric piano. Add a couple of good amps, a wide selection of pedals, and a good choice of mics with a 24-track recording setup and I can do most things. Drums is the one thing that’s been missing, and I might finally pull the pin and buy a Roland SPD-30 Octapad so I can finish everything up properly.

  56. 56.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Kattails: Not sure it merits three readings, but thanky kindly. It was written in 2002, probably sometime in late summer or early fall. The episode that prompted it occurred on Norfolk Square, a few blocks from Paddington Station in London, on the evening of 11 March 2002 – the 6-month anniversary of 9/11. Prior to that I’d been unversed for at least 10 years.

    Since you didn’t ask, here’s another, very different, from the early 1980s:

    FORTUNE COOKIES

    I cracked one like a crab claw after egg foo yung
    at Young and Yee’s in Cambridge, the pink tab
    stuck out like a laughing dragon’s tongue:
    Man can cure disease but not fate.

    (Mark these words, reader, as I did then
    in blood-dark ink, as rain poured northeast
    fall down the night storefront… Was I doomed then
    to the old delirium, that nothing goes
    without saying, that every incident calls out
    to be made sensible in the mind’s restless eye?)

    Five days later in Manhattan’s Chinatown
    the same fingers dripping lobster sauce and ginger
    opened another and found the same words.

    (Once? Happenstance. Twice? Destiny.)

    (ETA: I cannot seem to remove the blank line after “…every incident calls out”; note that it does not belong there.) (And Sónoma Beach, now it’s gone, after I’d stopped trying. Go figger.)

    And just FTR my all-time favorite Chinese fortune is That wasn’t chicken…. ;^D

  58. 58.

    Quiltingfool

    @donnah: My friends and I quilt, but we admire other crafts.  One time we were on a little jaunt and roamed around Warsaw Missouri, going to junk shops (lots of them in this little town) and discovered a craft shop.  I was excited as I was hopeful I could find an interesting quilt pattern.  We went in and saw a group of women working on wool rugs.  They referred to themselves as “hookers,” and then snickered and made some other funny remarks.  They were awesome!  The shop was more about woolwork than quilting, but I enjoyed looking at all the rugs.  If I ever burn out on quilts, I could see myself making rugs.

  60. 60.

    Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ

    I make and sell unique handcrafted gifts, from jewelry to journals, through my business “Designed to a T”.  Follow me on Instagram and/or Youtube.  I have a website (linked here via my nym) but haven’t updated any of the products on it in a while.  I was getting ready to re-launch my store when this pandemic hit.   Bonus feature:  My Instagram account also contains cute kitty pics and videos.

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRA2KtyuBhnSgGsuJuWTwqw?view_as=subscriber

    https://www.instagram.com/tinarhodes8425/

  62. 62.

    beth

    @Kattails: i studied geology, too! never actually did any geology as a geologist because i discovered graphic design while avoiding grad school and working at a university but i amateured it at every chance.

  63. 63.

    donnah

    @Quiltingfool:

    There are many women who quilt and then have taken up rug hooking, and lots of them who do both! I used to be a quiltmaker, but I found more artistic challenges in making rugs. For me, as a lifelong artist, moving from painting and drawing and learning how to design art rugs was a natural progression. With both quilting and rug hooking, the bonus is in the textiles. Having the tactile element makes the art more fun!

    I saw your quilts and they’re good. I’m sure you’d enjoy making rugs, because it’s all about color, texture, and seeing something come to life right from your hands. It’s very rewarding.

  64. 64.

    Kattails

    @Tdjr: Hummm,,, this being BJ, available for what?

    @beth: It was the best major, we did so much field work. This was a while ago so field work involved, um, substances. It was a liberal school.  Unfortunately federal money was drying up and the only jobs would have been in oil. I mixed it with environmental sci. but same issues, no funding; and also found, like you, that I was better at illustrating my reports than doing the math bits. Still look longingly at road cuts.

  65. 65.

    Kattails

    @Tdjr: It’s late, let me try for a better answer.  Most of my commercial work is done through a licensing agent.  I used to do a lot of calligraphy commissions but kind of let my skills get rusty.  Been working on practicing my scales, so to speak. I’ve done some botanical and other illustrations, but mostly focussing on the calligraphy and florals right now.

  66. 66.

    beth

    i was fortunate to get paid to do graphic design for a series of great employers and one big hearted blog that invites you to come for the politics and stay for the snark and pet photos. i still do design if asked (i’d like to be an inhouse designer again but also enjoy having a flexible schedule), however, my side hustle is now my main hustle: i’m a certified contemporary pilates instructor and had just started a home private practice in january.

    the timing could have been a lot better but at least all my equipment is paid for and i don’t pay rent. i have moved to online teaching a few group classes and private sessions, which has been interesting and not as terrifying or hard as i expected. i am using the time to dig deeper into my specific interests in functional movement, gait and balance in combination with the pilates repertoire.

    my mission for my home studio is to create a welcoming space for all but especially people who may not feel comfortable in a traditional movement studio or able to afford private pilates sessions. i’m available for private and duet sessions. my prices were very affordable even before we had to stay at home. my website for both my design work and my pilates studio is linked in my name.

  67. 67.

    MoCA Ace

    I checked out most of your Flikr’s and instagrams and other links… what a talented bunch of Jackels here.  I’m late to the post and had a few too may glasses of wine for dinner tonight so please forgive the spelling and grammar (never my strong suit anyways).

    Environmental protection is my day job but woodworking is my passion.  I don’t have a website to link or anything posted on any of the photo sharing sites (I’m a laptop short of uni-bomber with the cyber).  Most of what I make is for friends and family because it seems nobody wants to pay for real craftsman quality.  Only complaining a little… it’s just reality I have accepted.

    I mostly make boxes and small cabinets.  Typically using highly figured domestic hardwoods but I occasionally venture into exotics.  My specialty is hand-cut dovetails, a self taught skill that I developed when I was just too damn poor to afford the specialty tools and jigs.  If there were any way of showing some of my work I would gladly send some pictures.  Of course I’m also terrible at taking pictures so it’s probably a moot point.

    Never really thought of myself as an artist.  Craftsman is probably more appropriate.

  68. 68.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    What a fascinating and impressive range of interests and abilities y’all have!
    I mostly lurk, but the political discussions and passions here (and the expert posts) are fascinating catnip to me. I’m an illustrator, and I thought it would be a propos to link to a couple of politically themed things I’ve done since the Bad Trump Moon rose 4 yrs ago.
    First, part of a cartoon suite I did for my brother to use for a local organizing gathering he hosted back in June ’16, riffing on Tenniel’s “Alice in Wonderland” images. Trump as the Red Queen.
    Second, a comment on William Barr, after watching his confirmation hearing and observing his relentless shilling for Trump.

  69. 69.

    MoCA Ace

    @Mary Ellen Sandahl:

    Excellent.

    Can we please see the one where he is paraded through the streets naked with shit being thrown at him?

    Is that the right Queen?  My GOT is not that strong.

  70. 70.

    Jude

    Really great stuff, everyone. I love reading about and checking out where everyone’s muses take them.

    I work with glass like CaseyL, only I work with a hot torch and melt it before it hits the kiln. I’ve been a fulltime (until recently, groan) glass artist for about 20 years, specializing in making replicas of Monarch chrysalis. I used to be the only one in the entire country, but now my lumpy competition is kind of a bummer.  http://juderose.com/chrysalis.htm 

    My origin story includes a cat! http://www.juderose.com/chrysalisstory.html

  71. 71.

    Matt Smith

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Love the photos. Wish I had your eye!

    My semi-secret talent is singing. The way I use this talent most is, I have a little tour business. I take people to places I know and love… and then share with them whatever I love most. A lot of the time, what I love most is cool/talented musicians. Over the years, some of them have become good friends, and they often invite me to join them for a song or two. I’m not a pro, but good enough to fool around.

    Here’s a perfect example, a friend I made years ago in Havana. At the time, he was a street musician. Now he hosts a weekly show at a trendy bar. Whenever I’m there, he invites me up to sing I Will Survive and then whatever else strikes our fancy. Here’s a couple songs we did there last month:
    Link (because I can’t figure out how to embed the video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7_fv6xZY_s

  72. 72.

    E.

    I can bake. I own an artisan bakery, soon to probably go out of business. We make lots of delicate French pastries, tarts, and cakes but our main item is long fermented sourdough of many varieties. And croissants, kouign amann, cookies. Anybody want to buy the place? Comes with some excellent employees.

  73. 73.

    Elizabelle

    @E.:   I hope you are able to survive.  Delicate French pastries, wow. And that beautiful sourdough. There will be a pent-up demand for such baked goods, and I hope you and your employees make it through until then.

  74. 74.

    satby

    Well, people have called my soaps artistic (probably the scent combos more than any fancy colors or shapes) but I also do mosaics and occasionally watercolors. I don’t sell those though, they’re still strictly duffer category.

    I love all the skills mentioned though, what a creative bunch of jackals!

  75. 75.

    Kattails

    @E.: Baking is a major art form. Don’t give up yet! Call your state Small Business office, try through the governors’ office or your Representative’s office if need be. My fantastic congresswoman, Annie Kuster, has done several phone town halls about the virus impact and the last one talked a lot about the provisions in the bill aimed specifically at small businesses including payroll help, loans that can be forgiven under conditions, I didn’t pay really close attention b/c not relevant to me. But there were several small business owners calling in and getting answers or being directed to call the state offices for more help.  The Democrats worked really hard to get this money to help us, not just the big corporations this time.  Check it out!!

  77. 77.

    Matt Smith

    @E.: So sorry to hear it. I’m worried about my business, too, and wondering if it makes sense to try and start it back up post-crisis.

    Bakeries around here are selling starter kits of flour and sourdough starter for all the people baking at home these days. I know this because my partner wants to buy some sourdough starter.

  79. 79.

    WaterGirl

    @Matt Smith: @E.:

    We need local bakeries.  Our best one closed 2 or 3 years ago because he decided he’d rather own a couple of restaurants than a bakery, and I am still sad.

    So here’s one vote for you guys trying to hang in there.  You are so much more important than the Walmarts of the world.

  80. 80.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    @MoCA Ace: You want to see Trump naked? Really?
    Well, maybe if the thrown offal clusters were strategically situated… ick.

    If you have never seen the utterly brilliant 1860s-vintage illustrations for Lewis Carrol’s two “Alice” books by Sir John Tenniel, who was also Victorian England’s premier political cartoonist, there are any number of websites where you can. My takeoffs were done earlyish in the ’16 primaries: also did Bernie as the White Rabbit, Hillary as Alice, and Cruz as the hookah-smoking caterpillar.

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