Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Human rights are not a matter of opinion!

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

They don’t have outfits that big. nor codpieces that small.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Too little, too late, ftfnyt. fuck all the way off.

That meeting sounds like a shotgun wedding between a shitshow and a clusterfuck.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / It’s Somebody’s Birthday Today!

It’s Somebody’s Birthday Today!

by | 190 Comments

This post is in: 

Dad Cole – Oh My God!
Cole, Annie, Seth & Devon
  • Time for Bed
  • Dad Cole
  • Magnificent Steve
  • So Adorable
  • Keeping Dad Warm
  • Sleeping Dogs
  • Cole & Tammy
  • Rosie
  • Steve
  • Steve Bathtime!
  • Mom & Dad Cole
  • Steve, Shaved!
  • Thurston
  • Rosie
  • Bodybuilder Steve
  • Thurston
  • Thurston & Frat Brother
  • Thurston & Lovey
  • Tiny Baby Thurston
  • Baby Thurston
  • Devon & Daddy
  • Steve & Shawn
  • Godson Cole
  • Rosie
  • Steve
  • Rosie
  • Cole & Lily
  • Lily
  • Tunch
  • Tunch
  • Daddy’s Girl

Wish John a happy 90th Birthday!

Update: I have a “Trip Down Memory Lane” thread with links to about 35 blog posts from over the years that I will post later today, with a link back to this one.

Birthday Trip Down Memory Lane

Reader Interactions

190Comments

  1. 1.

    WaterGirl

    This seemed like a good day to go through the photo album.  There’s a lot of love in your life, John.  You are definitely doing something right.  :-)

    Happy Birthday, Cole!

  2. 2.

    Baud

    According to Cole’ twitter handle, he’s only 66.  He looks great either way.  Happy birthday, big man.

    I don’t want to know how you procured all those photos from, WG, but they’re nice.

  5. 5.

    Steeplejack

    John Cole is 50 today. The big five-oh!

    ETA: It’s also Juice Box’s birthday. And Mike in NC’s birthday is tomorrow. Kay’s birthday was Friday.

  7. 7.

    Armadillo

    @WaterGirl:  They’re great photos and Happy Birthday to the Blogmaster!

    P.S. I think the first photo marked Thurston is Steve. I don’t think the shirtless man hugging Thurston is Christion, b/c he looks older than a college kid.

  10. 10.

    WaterGirl

    @Baud: I went through the WordPress Media library, starting in 2002.  I searched for all the usual subjects – cole, dad, devon, lily, family, etc.  It’s the bloglord’s birthday, after all, so it seemed right for this momentous occasion.  :-)

    oh, wait, you didn’t want to know.  sorry!

  15. 15.

    WaterGirl

    @Armadillo:

    I think the first photo marked Thurston is Steve. I don’t think the shirtless man hugging Thurston is Christion, b/c he looks older than a college kid.

    Oh, I knew that when I chose the photo, but it was late when I named the photos, and my eyes were bleary by then!  I know I should know the fellow with Thurston, but I don’t recall who it is. I checked the original post, and that’s one of John’s frat brothers with Thurston. 

  18. 18.

    geg6

    That’s my Lovey curled up with Thurston in the pic captioned “Thurston &”. Before John brought her to me.

    Happy birthday, Cole!

  20. 20.

    Soprano2

    Happy birthday John! I love all the pictures, and the “Oh My God” on that video made me laugh and laugh, because I know that feeling!!

  25. 25.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I am the very model of a semi-centenarian,
    My visage is curmudgeonly, my politics contrarian;
    I mop my bathroom naked, and I shave my cat’s posterior
    (He’s going to kill me in my sleep, for he is my superior).

    I rescued Lily, Rosie, and — oh, what’s his name? — that other dog;
    I lost the mustard, broke my shoulder, made a top ten-thousand blog;
    Because you jackals are a bunch of idiots and stupid fools,
    I wish you all would email me in CAPITALS AND MAJUSCULES.

    (Chorus: He wishes we would email him in CAPITALS AND MAJUSCULES,
    He wishes we would email him in CAPITALS AND MAJUSCULES,
    He wishes we would email him in CAPITALS AND MAJUS- MAJUSCULES)

    I write a righteous rant, but I have made my home a place of Zen,
    I chill out in my house, front porch, back yard, or living room and den;
    And for the next half-century I’ll just keep calm and carry on,
    For I’m the very model of a semi-centenarian!

  26. 26.

    WaterGirl

    @Soprano2: Wait til you see the post that goes with the video!  John’s back story and description of the scene is hysterical.

    I have a thread with links to about 35 blog posts from over the years, and that one is a classic.  I figured I would post that thread later today, with a link back to this one.

  29. 29.

    Luciamia

    Many Happy Returns of the day, John! Yay!

    (Hey, nice to see Thurston. He doesn’t get a lot of photo time.)

  32. 32.

    MazeDancer

    15 years ago, there was a post where John was turning 35, so in Trump years, he has to be at least 90. Some semi-auspicious round number certainly worth celebrating..

    50 is, basically, entering adulthood, so eat lots of cake, laugh many laughs, and know how many people care about you, John. Even if you grumble about it.

    Happy Birthday!

  33. 33.

    Planetjanet

    Happy Birthday, John!  Enjoy this day in a distinctly Cole manner.  ???????

  35. 35.

    zhena gogolia

    @WaterGirl:

    Beautiful! The “Oh, my God” video never gets old.

    Happy Birthday, John. You have literally helped me survive the Trump era (so far).

  38. 38.

    joel hanes

    Best wishes to you, O blogfather, on this your natal anniversary.

    Your blog is a monument
    Your animals a testimonial to your innate decency
    Your house and yard a tribute to your industry

    But I suspect that the most important thing you do is the thing about which we hear the least: you teach. The hundreds or thousands of students whom you have influenced and whose minds you have helped shape will in turn shape the world long after your other achievements have faded.

  41. 41.

    lee

    Happy birthday!!!

    Hope your day is an easy day.

    Just curious, how is Shawn doing? For whatever reason I occasionally think of him and hope he is doing well.

  43. 43.

    Central Planning

    Happy Birthday, John.

    Now that you’re 50, get that colonoscopy scheduled. The prep isn’t as bad (still bad) as you think.

    ETA: 33% of men have polyps that are discovered during their colonoscopy. My GI doctor did not give me stats for women, but when I find out, I will share them.

  44. 44.

    cmorenc

    Love this Cole family thread w/pics!  Makes many of us BJ’ers feel like honorary cousins of the Cole family (dogs and cats included) to be included in the sharing of these photos!

  51. 51.

    Emma from FL

    Happy birthday, you (relatively) teenager, you!  You have helped us all survive the crazy, the infuriating, the disappointing, and the sheer annoying. Thank you, John.

  54. 54.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    Happy Birthday fellow Zodiac Sign Cancer — crabby, vindictive, loyal, introvert.

  59. 59.

    ET

    For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
    For he’s a jolly good fellow (pause), which nobody can deny
    Which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny
    For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow
    For he’s a jolly good fellow (pause), which nobody can deny!

    NOT? But we like you anyway John Cole. Happy Birthday.

  60. 60.

    Betty Cracker

    Happy birthday from the staff at Balloon Juice Florida HQ, including this guy:

    It's Somebody's Birthday Today!

  61. 61.

    mad citizen

    To quote Obama “They get happy, they cling to dogs or cats or antipathy to jackals who aren’t like them and have a great birthday”

  62. 62.

    Jay C

    Happy Birthday, John!

    i feel honored: it’s my birthday today as well, and to be reminded that I share with both John Cole AND Sen. Warren is an unexpected present!

    Many happy…..

  64. 64.

    BC in Illinois

    Fifty?

    That’s only ten, celsius.

    50 minus 18 times 5/8 . . . 

    50 plus 32 times 8/5 . . . 

    50 times 5/8 plus or minus 32 . . . 

    Something like that.

  69. 69.

    R-Jud

    Happy birthday! I’ll eat some mango salsa in your honor, just to piss you off. It’s what you really want. X

  72. 72.

    TomatoQueen

    Happy Birthday Mr Cole. Have a lovely day and save the colonoscopy prep (it’s just anti-freeze) for next weekend.

  73. 73.

    WaterGirl

    @debbie:  My birthday was a week or so ago, and John put up a post asking people to wish me a happy 87th birthday.

    Since John is so much wiser than I am, I figured he must be 90!

    The alternative explanation is that turnabout is fair play. :-)

  74. 74.

    Miki

    ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Happy Birthday to you …♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*Happy Birthday to you …*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*♪♫•

    • ♫♪ ♥ ♥ ♥Happy Birthday dear Johnnnnnnnnnnnnn,♥ ♥ ♥•♫♪

    ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Happy Birthday to you!!!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

  76. 76.

    Miss Bianca

    Happy, happy birthday, JC!

    WaterGirl, that’s a great photo stash – what a nice way to wake up on Monday morning!

  77. 77.

    KBS

    De-lurking to say happy birthday!  Hope you enjoy the day as much as we enjoy the blog.

  80. 80.

    Miss Bianca

    @SiubhanDuinne: I have to say I think this is one of your best efforts yet. Slack-jawed, in awe.

    (and now I’m picturing Mark McKinney of “Kids in the Hall” and “Slings and Arrows” singing it, because he actually sang the original in “Slings and Arrows” and rocked it!)

  83. 83.

    zhena gogolia

    From John Cole’s twitter feed:

    and honestly we should be planting trees in all the poor neighborhoods of metropolitan areas because they cool things down- every wealthy suburb in every city is one with old large trees

    From Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment:

    Walking past the Yusupov Gardens, he was even getting carried away by the notion of introducing tall fountains there — how marvellously they’d freshen the air on every square. Little by little he came to the conclusion that extending the Summer Garden into the Field of Mars and even joining it to the gardens of Mikhailovsky Palace would be a wonderful and most beneficial thing for the city. He suddenly wondered why it is that in every large city, man — out of some particular inclination as much as actual need — lives and makes his home in precisely those parts of town where there are neither gardens nor fountains, where there is filth and stench and every unpleasantness.

    (trans. Oliver Ready)

    Has anyone seen John Cole and Fyodor Dostoevsky in the same room?

  84. 84.

    BGinCHI

    Happy Birthday, John.

    50 is the new 32, except when you get up in the morning. OK, and in the middle of the night.

    But right after a nap, yes.

  85. 85.

    Ohio Mom

    It’s true that Mom Cole did all the work, and what a landmark day for her, arriving at half a century of motherhood (put that way, it sounds exhausting). She deserves at least some flowers.

    But one thing I am sure of, we should all take every opportunity we get to tell the people in our lives how important they are to us, how much we appreciate the gifts of their friendship, how we wouldn’t be who we are without them, we would be some diminished version of ourselves.

    All that is definitely true of this blog, and all that wouldn’t be except for you Cole, and that fateful day you typed out the first entry (whatever day that is should be a Balloon Juice holiday).

    Your birthday is a good excuse to note all of this and for us to remember to be grateful for your presence on this planet and in our lives. Happy Birthday and May the coming year bring you health and happiness!

  86. 86.

    Mary G

    You are still a young whippersnapper to me. Thanks to Mom and Dad Cole for not killing you so you could preside over my found family on this beloved blog.

  88. 88.

    sherparick

    Happy Birthday John.  I guess you are 300 in dog years!  Thanks for hosting all us jackals and roustabouts on this blog.

    Also, Trump sucks & Republican Party debet destrui or  Ceterum autem censeo Republican Party esse delendam.

  90. 90.

    TS (the original)

    Happy birthday John – your Mom probably remembers the day much more than you do. I always remember the daughter’s birthday & try to forget my own.

    Blessings – and thank you for the blog from some thousands of miles away.

  100. 100.

    wenchacha

    Happy birthday, John Cole! May you have many happy years ahead, all with Democratic administrations.

    Thank you for this home for jackals, also.

  102. 102.

    RobertDSC-Work

    Happy Birthday, John. Wishing you many more!

     

    Always going to be Team Tunch. I miss the big guy.

  103. 103.

    Suzanne

    Dawwwwww. Happy birthday, Cole!

    You’re younger than my ex-husband, who still acts like he’s in high school, so you have that going for you, at least!

  104. 104.

    feebog

    Happy birthday John Cole.  Thanks for putting this whole shebang together and letting us share it.

  105. 105.

    Tim F

    Happy big day, John!  Thanks again for inviting me to the blog way back in, jesus christ, 2004.  Or 2005.  Or something.  I also forgot my blog password.  Anyway you’re the best.

    TF

  106. 106.

    Elizabelle

    Happy Birthday, John.  And Lily around to share it.

    May your (medical) quarantine birthday be a happy one.

  107. 107.

    Nicole

    Happy birthday, Blog Vader! Your tweet re:today made me laugh. Wishing you a year of joy ahead.

    (And happy a week or so belated to WaterGirl; I think I missed posting. Wishing you a year of joy, too!)

  108. 108.

    dexwood

    Happy birthday, John. It should be a national holiday so I’ve decided to take the day off. Oops, forgot, I’m retired.

  116. 116.

    WaterGirl

    @Nicole:

    Happy birthday, Blog Vader! Your tweet re:today made me laugh. Wishing you a year of joy ahead.

    (And happy a week or so belated to WaterGirl; I think I missed posting. Wishing you a year of joy, too!)

    This is to notify you that John and I will be filing a formal protest – I believe we each deserve 5 years of joy, at a minimum.  I thought that was in our respective contracts, but I will have to check.  :-)

  119. 119.

    CaseyL

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    [bows in awe]

    We are not worthy! – But the BlogDaddy is.

    Happy Birthday John.  Long, long may you reign in cranky benevolence with your critters, human family, legendary backyard, and This Fucking Old House.

    We love you.

  120. 120.

    Kattails

    @WereBear: Can’t sing because you don’t know how old? Bah. No excuse, you just sort of argue-bargle it and hope everyone else is loud enough to cover for you. Most adults who are being sung to are hiding their heads in their hands anyway.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BLOGLORD happy birthday to you! Health, wealth and happiness, and the time to enjoy them.  Thank you for continuing to host this site, for your commentary, and for the wonderful front-pagers you have somehow collected  for us.

  121. 121.

    Leto

    Happy birthday, John! Hope you have some amazing food and good cuddle time with all the animals.

  124. 124.

    Mandarama

    Happiest of birthdays to one of the people I most relate to in this weird world! —signed, a misanthropic foul-mouthed Southern teacher, of German ancestry. (But maintaining a fairly tiresome front of being a nice suburban mom.)

  130. 130.

    Other Suzanne

    I mostly lurk…Happy Birthday, John! Welcome to the 50 Club!

    And, thank you for Balloon Juice. Love the jackals!

  131. 131.

    lurker dean

    wow, great compilation.  happy birthday, JC!

    just saw you just joined the 50 club.  seriously consider getting a shingles vaccine shot.  i am on week 5 of recovery and it was extremely unpleasant!  i will be getting the vaccine after i have recovered, i do not want to go through this again.

  132. 132.

    cain

    Happy 50th! You’re like a year younger than me. I had mine last year in May. :) older than you by 1 year and some change :)

  135. 135.

    Madeleine

    Happy birthday, John Cole!!!

    Thank you, WaterGirl, for the photos!!

    And thank you, Siubhan Duinne, for the great G&S lyrics!!

  137. 137.

    stinger

    What a treasure house of great photos and great memories! I watched the Drying Off/Oh My God clip 3 times, and laughed out loud 3 times. The only image missing, IMO, is Dad Cole nose-to-nose with Rosie. Love that pic.

    Great job, WaterGirl!

    Oh, and Happy Birthday, John Cole!

  141. 141.

    Ruckus

    Happy B Day you old fart.

    You don’t look a day over 90.

    Life has been good to someone, is it you?

    We measure the years, as a measure of how hard you work to remain with us. As we get older we measure the years as how much crap we’ve put up with. May your crap be less than most, may your humanity be more.

  142. 142.

    leeleeFL

    ???? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN COLE ????

    You, your awakening, this blog and all who reside here have saved my sanity and my ability to cope and hope for a better time to come more times than I can say.  To say nothing of the sharing of the better times that we helped create, starting at in 2008!!!

    You are a man deserving of these joy-filled photos , and all the other accolades that might ensue!

  149. 149.

    beabea

    Happy birthday, John!

    I don’t comment much but come here every day. Thank you for having this place. Stay well.

  152. 152.

    artem1s

    the OMG at the end of the video is what makes it art.

    congrats on making it thru this annus horribilus.  Hopefully the next one won’t feature all the Egyptian plagues.

  154. 154.

    JustRuss

    Happy birthday, Cole.  Wishing you and the menagerie a year of joy and prosperity.

  157. 157.

    stinger

    @WaterGirl:  July 20, 2018, post titled Birthday Party. I’m just glad to have seen it again, so thanks for the nudge, WG!

     

    ETA: And then I posted in my excitement without seeing that you’d already found it! Thank you! — But it was great skimming through a couple of years’ worth of JGC posts!

  159. 159.

    Mai naem mobile

    Happy Birthday John. Try and make it through the day(I know it’s too hard for you to maintain this for the whole year) without any interesting to read in the blog injuries.

  161. 161.

    Immanentize

    Happy Birthday, and thanks for the good times!

    Old John Cole was a very good soul,
    and a very good soul was he!
    He called for his cat and
    He called for his pups and
    He called for the nest-birds three.

  163. 163.

    Melusine

    Happy Centenary, O Mighty Blog Lord!!

    Thank you for years of insightful posts, thoughtful commentary, and a home for wayward rabid jackals.

  167. 167.

    Emma

    Happy birthday!!! Thanks for putting together the pics, WaterGirl, nice to see Tunch again :’) also nice to see Tim F come by! (And glad that Freddie didn’t)

  168. 168.

    opiejeanne

    @John Cole: Happy birthday John! You and your blog do keep us sane.

    As for forgetting that it was your birthday, it’s been that kind of year.

  169. 169.

    opiejeanne

    @WaterGirl: Thank you for doing this. It’s a wonderful gesture in this awful time when, to stay safe, we can’t get together with our friends and family for birthday parties or celebrations.

  172. 172.

    Zelma

    Happy Birthday, John.  And thank you for Balloon Juice.  It’s my special place.

    I remember when you turned 40.  Seems like yesterday.  Happier times.

    May we all be happier when you turn 51.

  175. 175.

    KrakenJack

    Cole: I must say the your mother looks an awful like mine at the same age. She was from Mt. Nebo, West-by-Gawd-Virginia.

    I’m not implying anything, or anything, you know, just observing.

  178. 178.

    SWMBO

    Happy Birthday, Old Man!  I wish for you all the wonderful things you wish for yourself.

    And for Trump and the GOP to lose in November.

  182. 182.

    Seanly

    Happy birthday, John! Welcome to the 50’s. I think my primary care physician waited about 2 days before she hounded me to get my colonoscopy, but otherwise the 50’s are kinda like the 40’s. Maybe a little slower…

  185. 185.

    brantl

    … and you know something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Cole?

     

    Happy freaking birthday, JC!!!

  190. 190.

    Gemina13

    Happy Birthday!   May the furballs give you some peace and quiet, and plenty of affection.

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