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You are here: Home / Healthcare / COVID-19 / Yeah This Will Fucking Work

Yeah This Will Fucking Work

by John Cole|  August 3, 20209:30 pm| 190 Comments

This post is in: COVID-19

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We’re so fucked and the end is nowhere in sight:

The novel coronavirus is surging in several Midwestern states that had not previously seen high infection rates while average daily deaths remained elevated Monday in Southern and Western states hit with a resurgence of the disease after lifting some restrictions earlier this summer.

Missouri, Montana and Oklahoma are among those witnessing the largest percentage surge of infections over the past week, while, adjusted for population, the number of new cases in Florida, Mississippi and Alabama still outpaced all other states, according to a Washington Post analysis of health data.

Experts also see worrying trends emerging in major East Coast and Midwest cities, and they anticipate major outbreaks in college towns as classes resume in August.

The University of Texas at Austin notified students that parties are prohibited when the campus reopens in three weeks. The school cited city health guidelines prohibiting groups larger than 10 people and requiring a mask when out in public.

Yeah I’m sure that will work, UT.

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Reader Interactions

190Comments

  1. 1.

    clay

    August 3, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    I teach high school in Florida.  Our district is letting students choose to have full-rime distance learning, or a hybrid in-school/distance schedule.

    Over half of our school’s 1500 student body is opting for full-time distance learning. Every teacher I’ve spoken to agrees that we should just make it official and cancel the in-school option completely.

  2. 2.

    different-church-lady

    August 3, 2020 at 9:39 pm

    Everything.

    Is.

    Fucked.

  3. 3.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2020 at 9:39 pm

    I wonder how many students are going to show up

  4. 4.

    Walker

    August 3, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    Depends on how they enforce it. We are considering expulsion from the University for violations (and online chatter shows we have a sizable student population more than willing to video and report violators).

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    ‘Tell college students to follow all the rules’.

    I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    August 3, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Election Day is 3 months from today.

  7. 7.

    Mallard FIlmore

    August 3, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    @Walker: Treat violators as zombies, out to kill you. Its the zombie apocalypse.

  8. 8.

    pluky

    August 3, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    hey! why are my parents paying all this tuition if i can’t party?

  9. 9.

    raven

    August 3, 2020 at 9:48 pm

    Athens is going down the tubes.

  10. 10.

    MomSense

    August 3, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    We are living in bleak times.

  11. 11.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    @raven: My parents, in Boston, are dreading the fall.

  12. 12.

    A Ghost to Most

    August 3, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    I can’t help but think that the youngs are intentionally passing this around, to get rid of boomers. I don’t blame them. My generation sucks: selfish and self-righteous.

  13. 13.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    @raven: Georgia or Greece?

  14. 14.

    Yutsano

    August 3, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    @Elizabelle: 90 more days then 78 more days until Biden takes over. And if he loses I start seriously looking into our potential Irish citizenship.

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: but you, you keep it so fucking real. Man.

  16. 16.

    khead

    August 3, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    Gov Hogan overruled the MD counties today and stripped them of the authority to stop schools from reopening.  This was after MoCo closed all schools including private and parochial until October.

  17. 17.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 3, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    @khead: And Hogan is supposed to be moderate.

  18. 18.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 3, 2020 at 9:55 pm

    Why is anyone surprised that NY DA is investigating fraud by Trump? TrumpU & Fndtn already guilty of fraud. Why was Trump's legal team stupid enough to challenge the subpoena. They knew that DA response would be to tell court they need tax info for more than 45's hush$ payments.— Jill Wine-Banks (@JillWineBanks) August 4, 2020

  19. 19.

    Mike in NC

    August 3, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    Fast forward to the middle of September. Total deaths will be around 250K and Fat Bastard will be claiming the vaccine will be ready “any day now, believe me”. Meanwhile 90% of schools will be locked back down.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    August 3, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    @A Ghost to Most:   Well, in that case, you will be even more attractive as a pie or sea lion chow.

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    August 3, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    Just cycled past a local park where there are currently two soccer matches (adult males, complete with refs) and two volleyball matches (adults) ongoing. No masks.

  22. 22.

    Gelfling 545

    August 3, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    @clay: I was a teacher most of my working life. Trying to teach in person and online is going to be an almost impossible burden unless they are scheduling really very differently from the average highschool teaching class load.

  23. 23.

    Elizabelle

    August 3, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    @Yutsano:   Lucky bug WRT Irish citizenship. I have no ties to the EU.

    Is there a way those of us with families who arrived in the 19th century can obtain?  I regret to say we have no Irish ancestry, as far as I know, although lots of Scots, British and German.

  24. 24.

    Redshift

    August 3, 2020 at 10:02 pm

    @clay: My county school system initially proposed a mix of online and in-person, with families allowed to choose. There was tremendous backlash from teachers and staff, who thought (correctly, in my view) that the plans were focused on protecting students and not on protecting staff. Then the vast majority of families opted for remote learning, and the plans changed to all remote.

    I suspect that school officials were hearing a lot from ranters, and were afraid prior wouldn’t accept all remote initially. And if course everyone *wanted* kids back in school. But then it became clear things weren’t good enough, the actual majority view became clear.

  25. 25.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    I guess UTA is hopin the kids DON’T KNOW HOW TO PARTY
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBY_UbhYJVU

  26. 26.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    @dmsilev: As I said last week, not a good time to be living in a college town.

  27. 27.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: I can’t help but think that the youngs are intentionally passing this around, to get rid of boomers. I don’t blame them. My generation sucks: selfish and self-righteous.

    I don’t think they’re that determined and organized.  More like being selfish and without proper guidance (hello Dump and Abbott) on this pandemic.

  28. 28.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: I’m getting obsessed with this case. I’m thinking Vance already has trump’s state returns, no? Testimony from Michael Cohen and the executives he named in the House hearings.  I’m sure he would also like to be the guy who got trump’s (federal) taxes, but does he need them? And if he has larger ambitions, I imagine “guy who indicted Donald trump” would not be a bad thing in NY politics.

    Also, Popehat (who is a lawyer) says DAs are a lot more aggressive than US attys.

  29. 29.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 3, 2020 at 10:06 pm

    Even countries celebrated for their handling of the pandemic are seeing a resurgence in Covid-19 cases.The renewed outbreaks serve as a stark warning to global leaders of how quickly an apparent success story can unravel. https://t.co/fBG1w8ce3X— CNN (@CNN) August 4, 2020

  30. 30.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 3, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Just cycled past a local park where there are currently two soccer matches (adult males, complete with refs) and two volleyball matches (adults) ongoing. No masks.

    Better than eating indoors, at least.

  31. 31.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 3, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    This is so good to hear. One way or the other, NY is going to get Trump once he leaves office.

    /2AUSAs REALLY don't like to lose and many will shy away from all but the strongest cases.DAs on the other hand … well. They are necessarily much more at peace with losing and tend to have a "eh, let's throw it in front of a jury and see what happens" attitude.— IllegalLateNightCoupHat (@Popehat) August 3, 2020

  32. 32.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 10:11 pm

    @raven:  What’s going on?

  33. 33.

    SFBayAreaGal

    August 3, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    @trollhattan: Is this in the Bay Area?

  34. 34.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    @WaterGirl: We’re bringing back about 1/3 of our undergrads, or at least that’s the plan right now. That was set by how many dorm spaces we have, with each student having their own bedroom and 2-3 max per bathroom, plus reserving one dorm building as an isolation ward. Then there’s a prioritization system for issuing invitations to campus based on various factors. Probably 95% or more of the classes will be remote, so if things go downhill we can ramp the population down without too much additional pain and suffering.

    It’s hardly an ideal situation, but we’re doing the best we can.

  35. 35.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: for more than 45’s hush$ payments

    I misread that as “for more of 45’s hush$ payments” and thought, “What other porn stars did he rawdog while his 3rd wife was home with his newborn 5th kid?”

  36. 36.

    Joe Falco

    August 3, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    I’ve joked with friends about celebrating my birthday on the 17th by dressing up as the Grim Reaper and walk through the college campus on the same day UGA is back open.

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    @dmsilev: That’s smarter than the plan at the University of Illinois.

    I’m thinking it’s going to go downhill fast as the students start arriving.

  38. 38.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    @Mike in NC: Fast forward to the middle of September. Total deaths will be around 250K and Fat Bastard will be claiming the vaccine will be ready “any day now, believe me”. Meanwhile 90% of schools will be locked back down.

    The Excuse Me, Excuse Me, Most Tremendous Bigliest Healthcare At A Fraction Of The Cost was supposed to come out this past weekend, but we’ll have it by the end of the month now.  (hahahahhahahahhahhhaha)  At least that’s what the Soviet shitpile mobster conman said today.

  39. 39.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    @dmsilev:

    https://news.uillinois.edu/view/7815/809664

  40. 40.

    Baud

    August 3, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    Only 2.8 million more deaths until we reach herd immunity.

  41. 41.

    tokyokie

    August 3, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    @Benw:

    I guess UTA is hopin the kids DON’T KNOW HOW TO PARTY

    Ahem, UTA refers to the University of Texas-Arlington, whereas the school down in Austin, is usually called UT. But you’re probably correct otherwise, and the fraternity houses are likely to be the worst offenders.

  42. 42.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    @Baud: Hey, sunshine!

  43. 43.

    joel hanes

    August 3, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    @A Ghost to Most:

    Generational “analysis” has zero analytical power.

    It’s only slightly less useful than astrology.

  44. 44.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    @Elizabelle: Good luck with that when even Canada (Friendly, foreign and near) is telling us to piss up a rope.

  45. 45.

    Raoul

    August 3, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    Except possibly in outdoor, very spacious settings (think hiking with people spread out well) limiting college groups to 10 people or fewer strikes me as just absurd.

    You go have coffee with five of your friends (so, obv. masks off to drink coffee), then you have lunch a couple hours later with 6 classmates. You play card games in the dorm in the evening, and yeah, you kinda sorta wear masks, but there’s a lot of goofing around. And eventually, a couple of folks slink off to make out.

    How long before the entire campus is just non-stop Covid spread? Days?

  46. 46.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    @WaterGirl: Here’s ours: https://coronavirus.caltech.edu/fall-2020-plan

  47. 47.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 3, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: Buck up, little camper!

  48. 48.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: So the health plan will be rolled out right after Infrastructure Week is over?

  49. 49.

    azlib

    August 3, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    @tokyokie:

    Ah, my old alma mater. Yes, the frat houses will be a problem. At least the UT administration is following the City guidelines.

  50. 50.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: we’ll have it by the end of the month

    I think the cognitive test checks if you know the date, but I wonder if he realizes it’s the 3rd.

  51. 51.

    Redshift

    August 3, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    @Raoul: Yeah, allowing people to have contact with a small group only works if it’s always the same group (or pod), not if it’s just a limit on the number of random people who gather at any one time.

  52. 52.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    @WaterGirl: Baud is like a ray of light shining over the Inyo Mountains.

  53. 53.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    @Benw: I was hoping for Party Boy

  54. 54.

    Cameron

    August 3, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    @Elizabelle: Not sure how much difference it makes.  I have close enough relatives in eastern Europe to get an early long-term residency designation although not close enough for early citizenship.  Only problem is, EU isn’t letting Americans in.

  55. 55.

    Redshift

    August 3, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    The college where Ms. Redshift is in grad school is doing mostly virtual, and trying to do on campus only for lab classes, a portion of freshman classes, and for foreign students and students who have difficult home situations. Good intentions; we’ll see how long the plan survives.

  56. 56.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:33 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Also, Popehat (who is a lawyer) says DAs are a lot more aggressive than US attys.

    Or it could just be libelslander.

  57. 57.

    pat

    August 3, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    Our cases in La Crosse County (western Wisconsin) were trending 3 or 4 new cases per day ( reported on the front page of the Tribune).  One day there were ZERO.

    Then the repub Supreme Court disallowed Gov. Evers Stay at Home Order and the bars opened.  Since then the new cases have been 10-20 per day.  Mostly young people in their 20s.

    Imagine what happens when the colleges open and the students come back and head to the bars on Friday night.

    I have felt fairly safe going to the local grocery store, Walgreens, Menards (face mask required  in all) because we don’t have the major virus outbreaks that other states have.

    I dread what may be coming.

  58. 58.

    Cameron

    August 3, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    @Mike in NC: Sometime around the beginning of October, he’ll announce that  the vaccine is ready, tested and in production….and will be available November 4th.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2020 at 10:35 pm

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Elie Honig @eliehonig ·7h
    Bad news for the President. This shows the DA is focused on specific criminal charges and not just poking around the financials. And it’s much easier to build a standard bank fraud or tax fraud case than the complex hush money / campaign finance case.

  60. 60.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    @WaterGirl: That’s smarter than the plan at the University of Illinois.

    What disaster awaits Chambana?

    ETA – reading your UofI link.

  61. 61.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    @tokyokie: you are technically correct, madam/sir. The best kind of correct!

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    August 3, 2020 at 10:40 pm

    @SFBayAreaGal:

    Sacramento. The city put out an alert a week ago making it very clear no large gatherings are to be held in city parks, and yet….

  63. 63.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    @Baud: Baud! 2020!  Only 2.8 million more deaths until we reach herd immunity.

  64. 64.

    tokyokie

    August 3, 2020 at 10:42 pm

    @azlib: But UT’s frats tend to be scofflaws in the best of times, and the Austin PD generally leaves them alone, knowing somebody will play the “do you know who my father is” card, and they’ll be getting deposed by some $500-an-hour lawyer from Baker-Botts or some such.

  65. 65.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    @trollhattan: Alerts don’t work without some fines for non-compliance.

  66. 66.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:45 pm

    @dmsilev: The Bigliest Longliest Infrastructure Week, Sleepy dmsilev!  SAD!

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    @Ken: End of this month according to today’s incoherent wordvomit.

  68. 68.

    NotMax

    August 3, 2020 at 10:48 pm

    prohibiting groups larger than 10 people

    The least signed up for class has more attending than that.

    Just sayin’.

  69. 69.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    @Cameron: Hell, most of us are probably banned from Antarctica too.

  70. 70.

    NotMax

    August 3, 2020 at 10:51 pm

    @Cameron

    and will be available November 4th

    Or somewhere east, north, south or west of that.

    //

  71. 71.

    Mary G

    August 3, 2020 at 10:51 pm

    Our district is going all remote, but required the teen to come into the high school to register in person today. He said it was a mess. I bought an air purifier for my room.

  72. 72.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    Dear @mrmoshpotato:

    You are hereby banned from Balloon Juice for linking to offensive content. Please immediately delete your 5 most recent posts and log out of your account and don’t log back in. Failure to do so will result in further banning. Please understand that we are doing this for the children.

    Best regards,

    The BJ Content Committee

  73. 73.

    Patricia Kayden

    August 3, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Let’s stop blindly pretending that all police are well-intended, nobly doing their jobs.Let’s stop blindly pretending that all troops are well-intended, nobly doing their jobs.Instead, let’s be adults. And stop unblinking idolatry & the uniform fetish that's our silly history— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) August 4, 2020

  74. 74.

    Luciamia

    August 3, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Talk about worrying about silly things. But I feel sad that trick or treating will be banned this year.

  75. 75.

    Calouste

    August 3, 2020 at 10:58 pm

    @Elizabelle: How much money do you have? You can get a Golden Visa residency in a number of EU countries (Portugal, Spain, Malta, Cyprus, maybe more) if you buy a property there. For Portugal IIRC the requirement was buying a 500K Euro property, 350K Euro in a disadvantaged area, plus 10K or so in fees. Citizenship in 3-5 years.

  76. 76.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 10:59 pm

    @WaterGirl: Quoth the University of Illinois, “Of course, our collective decision assumes that Illinois stays on track to meet Phase 4 requirements.”

    First line of the Phase 4 requirements: “There is a continued decline in the rate of infection in new COVID-19 cases.”  The rate in Illinois is increasing, so I wonder what UI will do.

  77. 77.

    SFBayAreaGal

    August 3, 2020 at 11:00 pm

    @trollhattan: My sister works for the Elk Grove School District.  The whole district is online for the semester.

  78. 78.

    randy khan

    August 3, 2020 at 11:02 pm

    @khead:

    Hogan is better than most Republicans, but he’s still got to cater to the religious school crowd if he wants their support.  That’s what this is about.  Still, it’s a bad mistake.

  79. 79.

    Citizen Alan

    August 3, 2020 at 11:02 pm

    @azlib: Speaking as an Ole Miss grad, the possibility that Covid 19 will lead to the destruction of the Greek System actually might be a silver lining (with our host’s frat an exception to the general rule of fraternity awfulness).

  80. 80.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    @Benw: You are hereby banned from Balloon Juice for linking to offensive content.

    You’re still dancing to the beat.  Aren’t you?  Aren’t you? :)

    Please immediately delete your 5 most recent posts and log out of your account and don’t log back in.

    Not possible.

    Failure to do so will result in further banning.

    Further banning on the top of the ban.  Woo hoo!

    Please understand that we are doing this for the children.

    Well, you’re doing more than Dump’s bastard administration.  Bravo!

  81. 81.

    Skepticat

    August 3, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    As we expected, the Bahamas slammed back down into full lockdown for at least another two weeks, with the probability of more. I’d planned to go back to Maine for a a while to escape the brutal heat and to see my doctor, but that’s not looking feasible at the moment. At least I’m considerably safer here, though I do regret that I skipped the liquor store on my last trip to the big island.

  82. 82.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I laughed.  It’s a good thing we all take turns, sometimes bringing the light, and sometimes bringing the darkness.

  83. 83.

    apocalipstick

    August 3, 2020 at 11:04 pm

    @Gelfling 545: They’re not. We’re being told that we are expected to prepare in such a way that we can keep moving forward even if students are absent or if we move to staggered attendance; IOW, prepare an in-person lesson and an online lesson so that students who are in asymptomatic quarantine or who are not in the building will still “advance”. Full-time in-class prep, full-time online prep.

  84. 84.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    @Luciamia: Talk about worrying about silly things. But I feel sad that trick or treating will be banned this year.

    It’s a bummer.

    Selfish adults have denied the kids bigger things, like their graduation ceremonies.  It’s a constant reminder walking around the neighborhood with the 2020 grad signs.

  85. 85.

    Poe Larity

    August 3, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    Re UT, I wonder if the young Associates see Covid as an opportunity wrt the tenured Profs. There were a lot of 70-somethings when I was there.

    Also too, If the average poll worker is 70, who will be around to man the polling stations in November? Perhaps someone should be making a plan.

  86. 86.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    @Luciamia: I feel sad that trick or treating will be banned this year.

    Every year we get horror stories about needles and poison in the candy, and parents freak out. This year we instead have a deadly virus – wonder what the reaction will be?

    And then there’s Christmas shopping.

  87. 87.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    @Ken: Email from today:

    Important Fall 2020 Update: Requirements & Expectations
    August 3, 2020 8:54 AM

    Dear faculty and staff members,

    I am writing to announce some important decisions about requirements and expectations for the Fall 2020 semester. We realize people have been waiting patiently, asking important questions and not always receiving detailed answers when you hoped to have them. We hope you find a lot of those answers in this message. We still don’t have them all, but we’re going to continue to tell you what we know as quickly and openly as we can. Continue to check the university COVID-19 website for the most recent details.

    We are a university that is privileged to be home to some of the world’s leading minds on COVID-19 safety, testing and procedures. If we all do our part, we believe we have the ability to achieve our missions. Below is a summary of some critical information you will need to know in the coming weeks. We are sharing the information students need to know in this message directly to them.

    Updated Fall 2020 Requirements & Protocols

    COVID-19 Testing – On-campus testing is required for all faculty, staff or students who have a need to be on-campus for any reason for any length of time.

    Mandatory twice weekly testing will be required for all faculty, staff or students who participate in any on-campus activities.
    Faculty, staff or students visiting the campus only occasionally (for example, picking up something from their office) will be required to go to a testing center, get tested and have test results dated no more than four days prior to entering any university facility.
    Note: If you are currently participating in any on-campus work or activities, you are encouraged to begin this practice now. Please see more information about testing (including a list of the current on-campus testing sites) here.

    Contact Tracing – We are coordinating and partnering closely with the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District to support their work to manage contact tracing for all COVID-19 cases in Champaign County that are related to our faculty, staff or students.

    Quarantine & Isolation – All faculty, staff or students who test positive for COVID-19 are required to isolate per guidance by the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District. Quarantine requirements apply to those who travel internationally or are placed into quarantine by public health based on exposure to someone who tested positive. More information about quarantine requirements for individuals returning to campus can be found here.

    Online COVID-19 Training – All faculty, staff and students, regardless of whether they are participating in on-campus activities or are 100 percent remote, are required to complete the Division of Research Safety COVID-19 online training. This must be completed before Monday, Aug. 24.

    Face Coverings & Social Distancing – We will continue to require everyone to practice social distancing on campus and to wear face coverings in university facilities unless they are alone in a private space. Face coverings are also required for outside campus spaces where sufficient social distancing is not possible.

    Other Fall 2020 Guidance

    Instruction after Nov. 20 – Friday, Nov. 20 will be the last day of in-person instruction for the Fall 2020 semester. After this day, Fall 2020 instruction and final exams will utilize alternative delivery methods.

    COVID-19 Classroom Management Guide – The Office of the Provost has created a guide for instructors with detailed information for classroom management, including suggested syllabus language.

    Safer in Illinois App – The university has created an app for faculty, staff and students that will display an individual’s building entry status. When it is available, use of the app will be expected of members of our university community. More information about other features, where to download it and how to use it will be shared soon.

    Guidance for Employees – Illinois Human Resources has created guidance and resources for university employees. Information is available on the COVID-19 website for employees working in university facilities and for employees working remotely.

    Cleaning – Facilities & Services continues to maintain robust cleaning and sanitizing procedures. There will also be sanitation stations across campus to facilitate frequent hand washing and the use of hand sanitizer.

    COVID Wellness Team – The university will be encouraging (and, when necessary, enforcing) COVID-19 guidelines in a number of ways, including creating a new COVID Wellness team. This team will include student Wellness Ambassadors, a COVID Wellness Answer Center to answer questions and Wellness Support Associates who will check for compliance at the entrances of buildings and classrooms. This team will be in place by Monday, Aug. 24, the first day of instruction for the Fall 2020 semester.

    I want to confirm that we will continue to engage with the labor unions that represent our employees to discuss the impact of these plans.

    I sincerely appreciate your patience and understanding as we continue to make decisions and take actions to maximize the safety of our students, faculty, staff and greater community.

    I know how hard this has been for every single one of you reading this, and I am so proud to be part of a university where so many people make the well-being of others their top priority.

    Sincerely,

    Robert J. Jones
    Chancellor

  88. 88.

    The Moar You Know

    August 3, 2020 at 11:09 pm

    Google “COVID orphans” for a great new angle on how this virus is destroying everything in America.

  89. 89.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    @Skepticat: At least you didn’t get too badly clobbered by the storm?

    small favors.

  90. 90.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    @WaterGirl: Mandatory twice weekly testing will be required for all faculty, staff or students who participate in any on-campus activities.

    They setting up their own lab?

  91. 91.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2020 at 11:11 pm

    @Luciamia: Would tricker-treating be so bad? mostly outdoors, pre-wrapped candy…. not many small kids in my life these days, but from what I’ve seen, it’s not as big a thing as it was back in my time, smaller kids going to fewer houses

  92. 92.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 11:11 pm

    @apocalipstick: Good thing they will be paying you extra for all the extra work!!! //

  93. 93.

    WaterGirl

    August 3, 2020 at 11:13 pm

    @Ken: I don’t think so.  Two weeks ago my doctor friend with a 0% appointment with the University got tested thru the UI and they promised results within 8-48 hours.  She got the results later the same day.  But that’s without the students on campus or classes in session.

    My prediction:  Everything falls apart once students arrive.

  94. 94.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    Dear @mrmoshpotato:

    Unfortunately your sarcastic response has led to more banning. You are banned. Please delete your BJ account immediately. Any future posts will result in further bans. Please remember: the children are our future.

    Warmest regards,

    The BJ Content Committee

  95. 95.

    marklar

    August 3, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Hey, are we workmates? That’s pretty much the same as our campus.  First year students, some of the other classes based upon necessity are prioritized. Single rooms.  three students or so sharing bathrooms.  Possibility of 1 hour set aside in the dining hall for students/staff with vulnerabilities.

    Faculty are permitted to teach any way we choose. I’m going to be 100% remote.

     

    BTW, Strike my question about being workmates.  You’re at a much more prestigious institution than am I (Liberal Arts college on the East Coast).

  96. 96.

    Brachiator

    August 3, 2020 at 11:17 pm

    @A Ghost to Most:

    I can’t help but think that the youngs are intentionally passing this around, to get rid of boomers.

    I don’t know why you would say something so ridiculous. The virus is not 100 percent fatal to “boomers.”

    And people all around the world are dying. How is this about you?

  97. 97.

    Mary G

    August 3, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    Good lord, more ratfucking:

    BREAKING: Census Bureau confirms all #2020Census counting efforts will be cut a month short, risking a severe undercount of people of color. Collecting responses online, over the phone & by mail, plus door knocking at unresponsive homes, to end on Sept. 30https://t.co/6XCz5Wg6EE— Hansi Lo Wang (@hansilowang) August 4, 2020

  98. 98.

    Mel

    August 3, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    @Walker: This is good; however, the problem is that by the time the maskless kiddos and congregating partiers have violated the safety rules, and then headed back to the dorms or to classes, the damage has likely already been done in terns of spreading the disease to other students, staff, faculty, etc.

    You can expel the violators, but you can’t expel the virus that they likely have already spread to others on campus.

  99. 99.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    @Benw: ?Peanut Butter Jelly Time?

  100. 100.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    @marklar: Faculty are permitted to teach any way we choose. I’m going to be 100% remote.

    Are you planning live remote, or recorded? I’m curious about techniques.

  101. 101.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    @WaterGirl: Everything falls apart once students arrive.

    That instant, or is there an over/under?

  102. 102.

    joel hanes

    August 3, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I love to light the jack-o-lanterns and answer the Trick Or Treat door with a candelabra full of candles, and to act weird and freak out the kids.

    This year we will do none of that.   A hundred strangers coming to our door?   Oh no no no no no.

  103. 103.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 11:24 pm

    @Mary G: Apparently the House has the authority to reject or accept Census apportionment results. I think, come January, they should reject it and do a new Census with sane and well-intentioned leaders. As a bonus, it keeps several hundred thousand temporary census workers employed.

  104. 104.

    Brachiator

    August 3, 2020 at 11:25 pm

    @Luciamia:

    Talk about worrying about silly things. But I feel sad that trick or treating will be banned this year.

    Universal Studios has cancelled it’s Halloween house of horrors. This makes sense because of crowds and such.

    I guess trick or treating could still go on. Maybe not. It’s outside, but you might want to limit the number of children who could go to any particular house at one time. You would still need social distance, but small kids might not pay attention.

    Maybe alternative events.

  105. 105.

    joel hanes

    August 3, 2020 at 11:25 pm

    @mrmoshpotato:

    I expect six weeks from arrival of students in the dorms to re-closure because of uncontrolled epidemic outbreak.   Eight weeks max.   Deaths to follow six to ten weeks after that.

  106. 106.

    Tom Levenson

    August 3, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    @dmsilev:  I, in Boston (literally 2 blocks from the BU campus, am terrified of the fall.

  107. 107.

    Gin & Tonic

    August 3, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    @WaterGirl: Why is it pronounced EES-uh-EE-as, and not like Isaiah, the prophet?

  108. 108.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 11:27 pm

    @marklar:

    Possibility of 1 hour set aside in the dining hall for students/staff with vulnerabilities

    One advantage we have of being in Southern California is we can say ‘all dining halls are to-go, and we’re putting out a large number of outdoor tables’. In, say, New England, that’d get problematic by October.

  109. 109.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 11:30 pm

    Dear @mrmoshpotato:

    Please be aware that your irreverant posting of silly memes while banned violates our policy. You are hereby further banned. Please never post here again. Keeping kids safe is our #1 priority.

    Warmest regards,

    The BJ Content Committee

  110. 110.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 11:30 pm

    @Benw: This stopped being funny about three iterations ago.

    EDIT: IMO of course.

  111. 111.

    Gin & Tonic

    August 3, 2020 at 11:31 pm

    @Ken: Not only yours.

  112. 112.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    @Tom Levenson: A hundred thousand or so students, with no real coordination between the umpteen different institutions nominally responsible for dealing with them, many crammed in multi-roommate apartments with less than zero social controls. What could possibly go wrong?

    Stay far far away from Brighton and Allston, is what I’m getting at.

    My parents are in Brookline, which I think you’ve said is where you live as well, and from what they’ve said the local environment isn’t too bad right now, but the metro area as a whole come fall…

  113. 113.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    @Benw: LOOK OUT!

  114. 114.

    laura

    August 3, 2020 at 11:34 pm

    @SFBayAreaGal: Elk Grove School District Superintendent has made really good decisions since early spring and pissed off a large group of parents with student athletes. Making the decision to go full distance learning and doing it early enough to create more chaos. He is a level-headed good leader.

  115. 115.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    @Ken: it was never funny

  116. 116.

    Mary G

    August 3, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    Andy Slavitt has a great thread up about schools and our kids. I have copied the whole thing off thread reader app:

    COVID Update August 3: Schools and kids and education.
    Are we missing the forest from the trees? 1/

    I began writing a lengthy thread on the difficult decision of sending kids back to school, with 4 scenarios & decision criteria to try to help parents.
    Then I stopped because I started thinking about kids and what we teach them. I scrapped it for something much less useful. 2/

    I think about the things we all try to teach our kids.
    -being safe
    -following the golden rule
    -showing consideration
    -using evidence
    -looking out for those less fortunate

    And I thought WTF are they going to say about us when they grow up? 3/

    They are watching us invoke them and how precious their education is (it is) but they see we weren’t willing to work all summer to make their buildings safe.
    That we decided to keep bars open & spread COVID even knowing it would be impossible to control come fall. 4/

    That the governor in Arizona threatened to take a school district’s budget if they didn’t open even after a teacher died there.
    That we have some studies now that show school age kids get & spread COVID-19 & the president still asked EVERY school to be open even w high spread.5/

    That we have data emerging that indicates there is medium or long term cardiac consequences for even asymptomatic people & still decided to open schools in person.
    That we didn’t put together the tools— tests & contact tracing— to make them, their schools & their families safe. 6

    They see European & Asian countries have done those things.
    They’re smart. They’re curious. They’re observant. They know it’s not impossible.
    Do they think we can’t? That we won’t? 7/

    They can see or will learn that some here had economic & political reasons for wanting them back in school and that’s what mattered.
    That we ignored their teachers. And their aides, their librarians, their bus drivers. The adults we tell them to listen to. 8/

    They will learn as you will that the Koch Brothers has people tinkering with CDC plan on school openings. That they were allowed. 9/

    These are formative years. What else do they see?
    That the president hails the stock market but doesn’t visit gravesites or talk about our losses
    That at a time of need corporations got their bailout loans but their parents unemployment insurance was allowed to expire 10/

    That we let people stand in line for food & lose their housing like the 1930s.
    That even after losing 150,000 people, we sat by knowing 70,000 more would be lost if we did not change. And we did not change. 11/

    Today’s kids will be back in school at some point, hopefully soon.
    What should scare us is that their kids will study us in their history books. 12/

    My grandmother, like so many others, came here with nothing without her parents. She was 8.
    Everything I have including the “liberty” & “rights” were nothjng I earned. They were gifted them from her & many others who sacrificed. 13/

    I always thought our job was to give something of equivalent value to our kids & grandkids.
    They have known for some time we have decided not to give them a more livable planet. And that’s unforgivable. 14/

    But this pandemic. This pandemic could absolutely be our moment to redeem ourselves. To show what we are made of. We can save lives.
    I think about the opportunity to show we can leave a legacy in these times. Show how pulled together. Valued human lives. Helped people in need.15

    But our kids and grandkids are unlikely to learn about us as “the greatest generation.” They are unlikely to call us “pro life.”
    I don’t think they will say their older generations sacrificed for them like we can say. 16/

    I think they may believe the lessons we tried to reach of kindness, of science, of charity were empty words. Telling them to do as we say not as we do. 17/

    We want kids back studying STEM but are a country ignoring & belittling scientists.
    We want kids back learning social studies but can’t demonstrate what adults do with lessons from history. 18/

    We want kids to learn and work in teams but see adults who can’t seem to manage not to put others’ lives ahead of our own rights.
    We teach values in school & religious school but do nothing about the suffering in nursing homes, farm labor camps & with people of color. 19/

    I have no moral high ground. I feel a part of the crime in progress. The good intentions & losing votes don’t add up to much rn.
    I only hope future generations will remember the doctors & nurses. The scientists & social workers. The many neighbors who helped each other.21/

    My hope is in them. That they will be formed by what they witnessed. I am hopeful we are raising people that would never tolerate the scale of human losses this large. 22/

    As of now I think they would look back & see people who wouldn’t wear a mask, wouldn’t bring this to a quicker end, didn’t have the courage or the character to at any moment look at the death toll & call for a stop. 23/

    I hope at any moment we change. There are many credible plans. I have a piece in @USATODAY tomorrow.
    I still believe we can take it back by caring about the next life we would lose. 24/

    But so far we haven’t made reducing the death toll or our kids’ future important enough to inconvenience ourselves. And they know it.
    That’s the education they’re getting. 25/

  117. 117.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: Don’t you understand, you’ve been banned! //

  118. 118.

    Original Lee

    August 3, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    @randy khan: There are plenty of parochial schools that are planning virtual-only openings in the fall. I think the pressure is coming from the hard-core Trumpistas in the state, of which there are enough to cause problems for him on other fronts.

  119. 119.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 3, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    @Mary G: TL;DR  I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, DAD!

  120. 120.

    Benw

    August 3, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: it is a good song. You win :)

  121. 121.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:41 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: And yet my spudness remains!

    Has the comet decided yet that it’s sick of our bullshit for the next 6700 years, or is it still laughing at us out in space?

  122. 122.

    ballerat

    August 3, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: At first I thought it was Adam Sandler in a thong. Doesn’t matter if it wasn’t. My God.

    FYI, I feel compelled to join any upcoming BJ commentariat class action lawsuit for the pain and suffering of having seen that.

  123. 123.

    different-church-lady

    August 3, 2020 at 11:43 pm

    @Tom Levenson: TOUCH NOTHING ON THE CURB DURING ALSTON CHRISTMAS!!

  124. 124.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:45 pm

    @Benw: I love the inexplicable ninjas halfway through.

  125. 125.

    Mart

    August 3, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    Extended large family 3.5 hour Zoom get together Saturday. Brilliant nephew with no prom and his graduation speech taped, said he is going to Duke. I said that should last about three weeks, and my wife gave me the old under the table heel on my instep, and whisper hissed “stop”. I’m a party pooper.

  126. 126.

    different-church-lady

    August 3, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Those responsible for banning the people who have just been banned, have been banned.

  127. 127.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    @Benw:

    The BJ Content Committee

    Sounds similar to a blogger ethics panel.

  128. 128.

    different-church-lady

    August 3, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    @mrmoshpotato:

    the inexplicable ninjas

    Claiming this as a band name.

  129. 129.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 3, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    @different-church-lady: TOUCH NOTHING ON THE CURB DURING ALSTON CHRISTMAS!!

    I don’t think we need nor want further explanation.

  130. 130.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: Anyone who has lived for even a little while in the Boston area will understand immediately.

  131. 131.

    Ken

    August 3, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    @Mart: Well, he’ll still be going to Duke. He’ll just have the added expense and wasted time of moving back to his parents’ house after three weeks.

    Have any colleges or universities promised to refund the housing fees, if they have to send everyone home because of covid?

    Conversely have any added a new clause in the housing agreement, probably under “force majeure”, that says there won’t be any refunds?

  132. 132.

    FlyingToaster

    August 3, 2020 at 11:52 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Stay far far away from Brighton and Allston, is what I’m getting at.

    Can’t.  Allston-Brighton touches everything.  Well, everything that Somerville doesn’t (and they both touch Cambridge).

    BU is strung out along Comm Ave through Allston/Brighton, Brookline to the south, Cambridge across the bridges to the north.

    BC is at the West end of Allston/Brighton, adjacent to Chestnut Hill (Newton/Brookline) and just down the hill from Brighton Center, just across the river from Watertown.

    Northeastern (the other uni bringing almost everyone back) is strung out along Huntington Ave, has booked one entire hotel (the Midtown) and is negotiating 19 floors plus function space in the Copley Place Westin.

    And Boston’s R0 is like 1.11.  Not 0.86.

    And WarriorGirl’s school is threatening to run all grades live (I am waiting to hear how they’re going to pull off that miracle without killing [redacted], the lead kindergarten teacher.)

  133. 133.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 11:55 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I was thinking the exact same thing.

  134. 134.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 3, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: It’s still laughing, but it’s laughter is becoming fainter to our ears.

  135. 135.

    AM in NC

    August 3, 2020 at 11:57 pm

    @Redshift: That’s mostly what happened in our district – initially parents could choose between “in-person” (which was online learning for 9 weeks and then move to A/B scheduling where group A goes Monday and Tues, group B goes Thurs and Fri and Wed is online) or 100% virtual for the first semester.  After the survey results came back, and watching the numbers in our state rise, school board shifted to 100% virtual for the first semester.  Of course this isn’t going to protect us when the Carolina students come back to town and start doing what college students do.  It is madness.

  136. 136.

    Mary G

    August 3, 2020 at 11:58 pm

    .@jonathanvswan: "How do you think history will remember John Lewis?"President Trump to #AxiosOnHBO: "I don't know…I don't know John Lewis. He chose not to come to my inauguration." pic.twitter.com/LDv76rrIFc— Axios (@axios) August 4, 2020

  137. 137.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 4, 2020 at 12:00 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Ah.

  138. 138.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 4, 2020 at 12:02 am

    @Mary G:

    He chose not to come to my inauguration.”

    How did he single out John Lewis out of all the people who chose not to come to his inauguration?

    More seriously: Graceless racist clod. We still need that word that means “shocking if not surprising”

  139. 139.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 4, 2020 at 12:03 am

    @Mary G: AXIOS: How do you think history will remember you?

    DUMP: As a 10!

    HISTORY: Oh suck an egg!  I’ve thought you were a whiny, bratty manbaby for decades!

  140. 140.

    Origuy

    August 4, 2020 at 12:05 am

    @Gin & Tonic: Spanish and Portuguese pronunciation.

  141. 141.

    dmsilev

    August 4, 2020 at 12:07 am

    @Mary G: Everyone matters only in how they treat HIM.

  142. 142.

    Scott Alloway

    August 4, 2020 at 12:07 am

    @khead: That is insane. Cruel. Sick. Without words, am I.

  143. 143.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 4, 2020 at 12:08 am

    Yup. Well put, Charles.

    When school children and teachers and parents start getting sick and dying, it’s going to be difficult for Republicans to blame it on the libs.When, not if. Any governor who does what Trump wants is condemning children to die for a failed ideology of bullshit.— Charles Johnson (@Green_Footballs) August 4, 2020

  144. 144.

    West of the Rockies

    August 4, 2020 at 12:08 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    That’s a shit-ton of T-bogg death units.

  145. 145.

    different-church-lady

    August 4, 2020 at 12:11 am

    @mrmoshpotato: He’s off by a 1.

  146. 146.

    different-church-lady

    August 4, 2020 at 12:12 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    t’s going to be difficult for Republicans to blame it on the libs.

    That won’t stop them from doing it, of course.

  147. 147.

    Tom Levenson

    August 4, 2020 at 12:13 am

    @dmsilev: I can throw a rock and hit Allston. I plan on avoiding Comm Ave. for the foreseeable future.

  148. 148.

    SWMBO

    August 4, 2020 at 12:16 am

    Haven’t read the thread and I haven’t read the comments on the other threads…

    The waitress that got cold cocked by the Aryan Asshole was concussed.

    https://www.heraldtribune.com/news/20200802/man-yells-lsquoi-am-white-supremacistrsquo-strikes-woman-at-nokomis-restaurant

    Her employer says she’s off now with pay (but not tips) and someone started a GoFundMe.  Have no idea how legit it is but here’s the link.

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/tips-for-kisha?utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=m_pd%20share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&fbclid=IwAR26F09NVNtHRe7as6Dsm-wLVYHCPkSZtrOncqHNUc2JDedJ40qrh_cbUMk

  149. 149.

    prostratedragon

    August 4, 2020 at 12:21 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Or not shocked, but thoroughly appalled. Having pegged him some time ago I’m not shocked so far, but appalled regularly.

  150. 150.

    smike

    August 4, 2020 at 12:24 am

    @different-church-lady:

    Awww, too bad. You shoulda’ picked

    The BJ Content Committee

    And now I’ve got it, but the inexplicable ninjas isn’t bad.

  151. 151.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 4, 2020 at 12:25 am

    @different-church-lady: I know.  Russthuglicans would argue that ocean wasn’t salty if a salty ocean made them look like selfish assholes who killed thousands through selfishness, laziness and incompetence.

  152. 152.

    prostratedragon

    August 4, 2020 at 12:26 am

    @SWMBO:  I hope it’s properly set up for her. I can readily believe she suffered such an injury; that “slap” was a board-breaker.

  153. 153.

    sgrAstar

    August 4, 2020 at 12:26 am

    @A Ghost to Most: oh bullshit. I’m not an advocate of generational identity theory. Some older people are selfish pricks, some definitely are not.

     

    ?

  154. 154.

    Soprano2

    August 4, 2020 at 12:26 am

    I’ve talked to more than one person who wishes their kid’s school would offer a 5 days in the classroom option. I understand why they want to go back to “normal”, but I think they’re nuts.

  155. 155.

    rikyrah

    August 4, 2020 at 12:31 am

    @The Moar You Know:

    You talk about stories that will have you??????

  156. 156.

    rikyrah

    August 4, 2020 at 12:33 am

    @Mary G:

    I love Andy Slavitt???

  157. 157.

    rikyrah

    August 4, 2020 at 12:34 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    No lie told??

  158. 158.

    MoxieM

    August 4, 2020 at 12:35 am

    @different-church-lady: Didn’t the bedbugs take care of a lot of that a while ago? Granted it’s 35 years or so since I last did my stint on Comm Ave, but what with nieces and nephews and people like that.

  159. 159.

    FlyingToaster

    August 4, 2020 at 12:40 am

    @Soprano2: While I would LOVE to get WarriorGirl and HerrDoktor out of the house, I don’t want any of us to be exposed.

    WarriorGirl’s MusicSchool is remote until January.  HerrDoktor’s office is remote until January.  I believe the aikikai is closed until January.  I’m likely to be here baking bread until January ?.  And repairing and replacing the stuff getting extra wear-n-tear so failing already.

  160. 160.

    Mary G

    August 4, 2020 at 12:41 am

    .@jonathanvswan: “Oh, you’re doing death as a proportion of cases. I’m talking about death as a proportion of population. That’s where the U.S. is really bad. Much worse than South Korea, Germany, etc.”

    @realdonaldtrump: “You can’t do that.”

    Swan: “Why can’t I do that?” pic.twitter.com/MStySfkV39— Axios (@axios) August 4, 2020

  161. 161.

    FlyingToaster

    August 4, 2020 at 12:43 am

    @MoxieM: Allston Christmas is alive and well, and may have started a month early (a LOT more folks than usual moved out August 1).

     

    The Twelve Days of Allston Xmas

    Twelve plumbers plumbing
    Eleven Skypers skyping
    Ten words a-bleeping
    Nine bands poorly singing
    Eight meter maids ticketing
    Seven vans a brimming
    Six roomies overpaying
    Five moldy things
    Four falling nerds
    Three car dents
    Two hurtled stoves
    and a Storrowed rental truck from Penske

  162. 162.

    Jinchi

    August 4, 2020 at 12:55 am

    @Luciamia: No treats, just tricks. Just wait til you find out who bought up all the TP back in March. The Zoomers were planning this all from the start.

  163. 163.

    Redshift

    August 4, 2020 at 12:58 am

    I’ve stayed on the White House email list from the Obama days, out of morbid fascination, I guess. They run lists of “stories” they want you to read. (They don’t call them news stories, with probably unintentional honesty.)

    One of today’s was an extended whine by some guy on RealClearPolitics about the media’s “commitment” to using “mostly peaceful protests” to describe “the riots sweeping the nation.” How it’s become cliche, and they won’t fool anyone because people can just see what’s happening outside their windows. He never mentions where he is or that he’s seeing riots outside his window, but those other people in places where he’s sure riots are happening.

    Yeah.

  164. 164.

    MomSense

    August 4, 2020 at 12:59 am

    @Mary G:

    My god I just watched that video.  Obviously he’s a fucking idiot but that was just shockingly fucking stupid.  He’s a goddamned brat to boot. Everyone in his family, in his businesses in his fucking administration, in the fucking Congress – they all know how shockingly fucking stupid and unfit he is.  160,000 deaths and he is whining about the metrics being unfair.  Jesus Christ.  Everyone who enabled him should hang for this.

  165. 165.

    Kent

    August 4, 2020 at 1:07 am

    @Gelfling 545:@clay: I was a teacher most of my working life. Trying to teach in person and online is going to be an almost impossible burden unless they are scheduling really very differently from the average highschool teaching class load.

    I know teachers who are going to teach everyone online.  The kids who show up will sit and do their stuff online as well.  No papers to turn in.  No labs with close contact.  Build a giant moat of desks and cabinets around the teacher desk to keep the kids 10-15 ft away minimum.  They come to class, sit down, open up their chromebooks and start their work.  But this is HS.  I don’t know what the elementary teachers are going to do.

    They figure it will all be online soon anyway, so might as well get everyone in the habit.  Around here all students K-12 are issued their own personal chromebooks so everyone can be online.

    That’s basically what I was planning to do before the district rolled back their hybrid plan and is starting the year 100% online.    Who knows when we will step foot back in the building.

  166. 166.

    MoxieM

    August 4, 2020 at 1:11 am

    @FlyingToaster: Canopener!

  167. 167.

    West of the Cascades

    August 4, 2020 at 1:16 am

    When I plug “covid orphans” into the search engine at http://www.monkeyspawGoogle.com, it spits out one result: “Barron Trump.”

  168. 168.

    Yutsano

    August 4, 2020 at 2:24 am

    @Mary G:  Thanks to that tweet thread I have learned Traitor Tot. I’m giggling, I am.

  169. 169.

    DMcK

    August 4, 2020 at 2:40 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Fun fact: some years back Cy Vance gave the Trump Org a clean pass on what was then considered a blatantly open-and-shut case of investor fraud related to money laundering, re: Trump Tower SoHo. In spite of PopeHat’s sentiments, I would still trust the Feds more than anybody at the intractably corrupt state or local level.

    Oh, and Vance is also up for re-election, so…yeah. All for show.

  170. 170.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    August 4, 2020 at 2:49 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    @WaterGirl: Baud is like a ray of light shining over the Inyo Mountains.

    Baud is like a stream of bats’ piss in a cave.

  171. 171.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2020 at 2:51 am

    @DMcK:

    I would still trust the Feds more than anybody at the intractably corrupt state or local level.

    With Bill Barr as AG?  Really?

  172. 172.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 4, 2020 at 3:08 am

    @Sm*t Cl*de:

    Baud is like a stream of bats’ piss in a cave. 

    But we know you say that with love! ?

  173. 173.

    joel hanes

    August 4, 2020 at 3:11 am

    @Sm*t Cl*de:

    Warm and golden and full of nutrients ?

  174. 174.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2020 at 3:13 am

    @mrmoshpotato: I thought that comments about bat piss and caves would have come from valued commetor Ozark Hillbilly.

  175. 175.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    August 4, 2020 at 3:30 am

    @A Ghost to Most:

    I don’t think (most) kids are intentionally passing the Covid; they’re simply staying true to the I-got-mine culture in which they were raised.  Consider it karmic payback for global warming’s unfettered escalation.

    On a personal note, I’m watching films based on the works of Philip K Dick and I just had to turn off The Adjustment Bureau—Matt Damon looks way too much like Matt Gaetz:(

    Damon plays a brash senate hopeful and I found myself praying for a political assassination.

  176. 176.

    DMcK

    August 4, 2020 at 3:44 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    In general, yes. There’s still an active federal investigation in NY State that has persisted in spite of every effort to quash it. Vance is an elected city official, a position that doesn’t come without a SHITLOAD of favors owed.

  177. 177.

    Brachiator

    August 4, 2020 at 3:47 am

    @hervevillechaizelounge:

    You didn’t finish watching The Adjustment Bureau?

    It’s a little more hopeful than you might think.

  178. 178.

    NotMax

    August 4, 2020 at 3:48 am

    @hervevillechaizelounge

    Paycheck and Radio Free Albemuth tread ‘this close’ to violating the Eighth Amendment.

  179. 179.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    August 4, 2020 at 3:53 am

    @Brachiator:

    I kept seeing Matt Gaetz’s face superimposed over Matt Damon’s; the horror was ever-present.

    Now I’m watching Paycheck; Ben Affleck may be a tool but at least he doesn’t look like a republican.

  180. 180.

    Joseph A Miller

    August 4, 2020 at 4:14 am

    @A Ghost to Most: I find sweeping generalizations tiresome.

  181. 181.

    sukabi

    August 4, 2020 at 5:40 am

    @MomSense: that’s exactly my reaction to that clip.

  182. 182.

    Frankensteinbeck

    August 4, 2020 at 5:56 am

    @different-church-lady:

    ”Ninja Sex Party” is already claimed, and is a surprisingly good band.  It was founded by a man who was and is overjoyed that he got so rich and famous for other stuff that he could use that to start a rock band.  He makes insanely good animated videos with other bands.  I love seeing someone live out his fantasies and make great art doing it.

  183. 183.

    Uncle Cosmo

    August 4, 2020 at 6:33 am

    @different-church-lady: “‘Banned’ takes the worry out of being closed.”

    (For those of us of an age…:^D)

  184. 184.

    PenAndKey

    August 4, 2020 at 6:59 am

    @pat: Our cases in La Crosse County (western Wisconsin) were trending 3 or 4 new cases per day ( reported on the front page of the Tribune).  One day there were ZERO.

    Wait… what? Another La Crosse area resident? Huh, I never would have expected that. And yeah, with three colleges in La Crosse and a massive bar culture I’m absolutely dreading what the county is going to look like come Fall. At least we have the regional virtual academy so I don’t have to send my son into the fray. He hasn’t really left his little corner of Holmen since this all started.

    I never thought I’d say it, but thank heavens for MMOs, Xbox Live, and Discord team chat. Those have been his primary means of social interaction since this all started.

  185. 185.

    pluky

    August 4, 2020 at 7:43 am

    @Gin & Tonic: Hebrew gets transliterated in various ways into roman depending on the language. Then the pronunciation tendencies based on that transliteration kick in. EeSahEeAs is actually closer to the standard Hebrew pronunciation than ISayAh.

  186. 186.

    Sherparick

    August 4, 2020 at 7:47 am

    @Yutsano: You & me both bud.

  187. 187.

    marklar

    August 4, 2020 at 7:52 am

    @Ken:

    I’m going to have synchronous classes once per week that will all be Discussion-based.   Students will come to class having done the readings (around 25-30 pages per class…I’ve found that if you assign more only 1/3 of the students do it, but with 25 pages or so 80% are prepared) and been given discussion prompts, so they should be ready to go.   I’m lucky because my Intro classes are capped at 25 students, and advanced classes at 15, and Zoom can still work with that size, especially if I do a couple of breakout rooms.

    I’ve recorded around a 15 minute Kaltura presentation for each week giving students some ‘big picture’ things to think about regarding the material (e.g., the ethics of the research, the social implications of the week’s topics…e.g., when we cover Harlow’s monkeys raised in isolation, I direct them towards readings on the Child Separation Policy; This summer I’ve taken Zimbardo’s prison study and had students reflect on how this informs Police reform, etc.).

    I’m also making a lot of use of Discussion boards. Students are required to do a 200-300 word post relating to the reading per week, and two 75 word replies to classmates.

    Covering the content isn’t my biggest concern.  Creating a sense of community in the classroom is.  Without that sense of intellectual community, students might as well save money and take online classes at a Community College (some of which are superbly taught).

  188. 188.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    August 4, 2020 at 8:33 am

    @joel hanes: “Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”.

  189. 189.

    piratedan

    August 4, 2020 at 10:43 am

    @Sm*t Cl*de: ty for the Monty Python skit shout out!!!!!!!

  190. 190.

    JustRuss

    August 4, 2020 at 11:27 am

    Thank god we’re on the quarter system, so we’ll open a month later than most universities. I’m assuming our administration will have learned from others’ mistakes and rethink their opening plans.

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