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You are here: Home / Sports / Euro 2020 Football (Soccer) / Euro 2020 Round of 16 Open Thread: England v Germany

Euro 2020 Round of 16 Open Thread: England v Germany

by Anne Laurie|  June 29, 202111:45 am| 91 Comments

This post is in: Euro 2020 Football (Soccer), Open Threads, Sports

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Bad news, America. “Soccer is boring” no longer works.
Good news, America. “Soccer is communist” is still a go.

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) June 28, 2021

Good luck to @England ahead of today’s game against Germany.

Staff should be allowed to finish early so they can watch the match. #euro2020 https://t.co/dvDpfgtuFc

— Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) June 29, 2021

Playing at Wembley Stadium, and the English seem to be taking it quite seriously…

VIDEO: Before #eng and #ger play at #Euro2020, take a watch of the highlights from their 1966 World Cup final.

Since that game at Wembley it’s been a rivalry defined by English anguish and German glory https://t.co/fWBygzyFBi pic.twitter.com/MIGgtTe6bY

— AP Sports (@AP_Sports) June 29, 2021

Robin Gosens and the deal that put him on the road to #Ger stardom. By @NickAmes82 https://t.co/aHC8bGARRX #Euro2020

— Guardian sport (@guardian_sport) June 28, 2021

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Reader Interactions

91Comments

  1. 1.

    WaterGirl

    June 29, 2021 at 11:46 am

    The soccer thread is open for business.

  2. 2.

    raven

    June 29, 2021 at 11:51 am

    Get this damn tennis off my tv!

  3. 3.

    eclare

    June 29, 2021 at 11:55 am

    @raven:  Hahaha

  4. 4.

    Mike in NC

    June 29, 2021 at 11:58 am

    Will they mention the famous Christmas Truce of 1914, when the Germans and Brits played football in No Man’s Land?

  5. 5.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 12:03 pm

    no Grealish again. I don’t understand Southgate’s plan to actually score goals, but maybe his plan is o try and get it to PKs and hope someone blows one badly enough to forget his missed pen?

  6. 6.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:06 pm

    I’m sure everything will proceed swimmingly and the storied history of the occasion will not turn the bowels of these young men to dribbling waterbutts.

  7. 7.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 12:07 pm

    First free kick and yellow card. Great ball played through the back.

  8. 8.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:08 pm

    @JML:

    Never mind, we can play the old familiar “How can we tell if ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE is playing if no one hears him fall?”

    And that’s what you call ‘buying a free kick’.

  9. 9.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 12:09 pm

    This recent strat of a player laying down behind the wall is still… weird, to me. I understand it, still weird.

  10. 10.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 12:11 pm

    @Leto: I don’t love it. it makes some sense if you’re going to have your wall jump, but you still have a guy down who can’t get to a rebound.

  11. 11.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 12:13 pm

    @JML: exactly; you’re basically playing a man down. We’ll see how long it lasts.

  12. 12.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 29, 2021 at 12:16 pm

    @Tony Jay: Spirit of ‘66.  Just redo the Alarm song with some reference to George Best.

  13. 13.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:16 pm

    Already Saka looks like the only England player out there who isn’t concerned about setting off his rheumatism.

    Tempo! Pass forward!

    Good shot from Sterling.

    Weak header from Slabhead.

  14. 14.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    @Tony Jay:

    Slabhead

    Stonehenge’s little brother. Or sister city of Maidenhead.

  15. 15.

    Baud

    June 29, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    Bad news, America. “Soccer is boring” no longer works.

    Why not?

  16. 16.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:23 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Spirit of ‘66.

    Pie and mash with a pint of brown ale and a fag before the game?
    From the looks of things I’m not sure they haven’t done just that.

  17. 17.

    Just Chuck

    June 29, 2021 at 12:23 pm

    I like American Football and have no shame about it, but damned if it wouldn’t be better if they cut the play clock in half.  Make the no huddle offense the norm.  All those goddam pauses, that’s what’s boring.

    Sure there’s rugby, but it doesn’t feel the same.  Too much in the other direction perhaps.

  18. 18.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 12:27 pm

    @Baud: monday’s games were spectacularly exciting?

  19. 19.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:27 pm

    @Leto:

    Maguire. Have you seen the size of his forehead? It’s like the rising belly of a Great White. Boris Karloff cosplays as him because it’s that towering.

    Pity he can’t use it to Head The Fucking Ball!

  20. 20.

    Baud

    June 29, 2021 at 12:27 pm

    @JML:

    Ok, thanks. I haven’t been watching.

  21. 21.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 12:29 pm

    The play 8 fullbacks and cross to Slabhead Maguire plan is… interesting?​

  22. 22.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 12:32 pm

    @LeftCoastYankee: England is doing a surprisingly good job controlling play, but the lack of service in makes me wonder why they even bother having Harry Kane at striker? Slabhead has more chances so far.

  23. 23.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 12:40 pm

    @Tony Jay: his hair does him no favors in helping to de-emphasize that Easter Island monolith of a forehead.

    All this slabhead talk reminds me of this skit: Top Soccer Shootout with Scott Sterling

  24. 24.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 12:40 pm

    @JML:

    That’s ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE!!!! Don’t forget to lard it up with all the spare exclamation points and rising intonation you have lying around to make up for the fact he’s been a sleepy, snoozy absence so far this tournament.

    But Southgate simply will not drop him.

  25. 25.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 12:42 pm

    @JML:  Kane is decent in the air (probably better than Rashford), but I’d go with Calvert-Lewin if that’s the strategy.

  26. 26.

    billcinsd

    June 29, 2021 at 12:43 pm

    @JML: Kane is pretty good at moving off the ball and opening space for others, which is one reason he plays pretty frequently

  27. 27.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 12:44 pm

    @Tony Jay: 

    I do think ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE!!! is a marvelous player…but there’s been so little service the entire tournament…

  28. 28.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 12:49 pm

    Harry Kane must be a pest when he’s on the bench… I still have nightmares about Pocchettino putting him in the 70th minute of some blowout FA Cup match with Rochdale (I think).

    The best part was the announcers saying it was an honor for the Rochdale players to have ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE run up the score on them. Something they could tell their children about.

  29. 29.

    Uncle Cosmo

    June 29, 2021 at 12:51 pm

    @Just Chuck: ​I like American Football and have no shame about it, but damned if it wouldn’t be better if they cut the play clock in half. Make the no huddle offense the norm.

    Impractical. Players already on the field have to get up from the ground (or back to the huddle from deep patterns); the coaching staff needs to take note of down and distance, decide on the next play, and make the concomitant substitutions. And that’s just the offense – the defense has to be given an opportunity to note the offensive changes and counter them. All of that can’t happen in much less than 35 seconds.

    It’s a shame you’re so antsy. If I ruled the world (yes, we’re both glad I don’t) I’d have you chained in front of your TV with your eyelids taped open & forced to watch a month’s worth of baseball. Either you’d return to the gridiron broadcasts reconciled to the tempo, or you’d go bonkers due to sensory deprivation.​​

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    June 29, 2021 at 12:54 pm

    That’s why Pickford is England’s number one. Neither Pope nor Henderson makes that save. Any other questions?

    Smart long ball from Kane, but he forgot that Phillips isn’t as fast as Son.

    If Saka can get a clean run at Rudiger, that will be big trouble for Die Mannschaft.

  31. 31.

    burnspbesq

    June 29, 2021 at 12:57 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    Baseball? Pshaw.

    If you want to torture the man, make him watch test cricket. The whole five days.

  32. 32.

    Drdavechemist

    June 29, 2021 at 12:59 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo: The easy solution for NFL football is to DVR the game and start watching the recording (and zipping through the dead time and commercials) when the actual game is somewhere in the middle of the 3rd quarter so that you catch up with real time with a few minutes left on the clock. No spoilers, and if it’s a blowout you just stop watching. I can usually live just fine without the replays and the commentary from the broadcast team.

  33. 33.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 12:59 pm

    And I just looked up the roster and Calvert Lewin isn’t on it. Whoops. Must have seen him in a run-up game.

    Very weird of Southgate to select all that young attacking talent and then stick with the 2 veterans up front.

  34. 34.

    patroclus

    June 29, 2021 at 1:05 pm

    I agree that “soccer is boring” no longer seems to work in that Americans are increasingly tuning in to it.  But despite that, soccer can indeed be very boring; especially scoreless matches like this one.  Having said that, baseball, golf and American football can also be very boring as well.  Even tennis, hockey and basketball can be very boring; albeit less likely.  It just depends.  All of them can be very exciting too.

  35. 35.

    eclare

    June 29, 2021 at 1:07 pm

    What a save!

  36. 36.

    Professor Bigfoot

    June 29, 2021 at 1:12 pm

    @patroclus: I’ve seen so many complaints that Formula 1 is boring- “the same guys on the podium every time.”

    Of course, then there’s NASCAR– bumpercars at 200mph is for damned sure exciting, even if the constant left turns aren’t.

  37. 37.

    billcinsd

    June 29, 2021 at 1:17 pm

    @Drdavechemist: The easiest solution is NFL Red Zone

  38. 38.

    patroclus

    June 29, 2021 at 1:23 pm

    @Professor Bigfoot: I remember – way back when – that some even had the audacity to call the Fischer-Spasky chess match boring.

    One thing that’s not boring about soccer are the fake injuries.  The replay shows that they were barely touched and yet they clutch their knee or leg like they’re mortally injured…

  39. 39.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 1:28 pm

    Handsome Jack on.

    Werner off for Germany, more confidence coming on.

  40. 40.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 1:29 pm

    Finally Grealish comes in…will he get the ball?!? or is Southgate going to send all play down through the right now?

  41. 41.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:29 pm

    Just bringing on Grealish isn’t going to be enough if the orders from Southgate are still ‘Defence, pass sideways, try to win HARRY a free kick’. We need Sancho, Bellingham, Rashford. Skill to get that ball upfield quick or to play in the runner behind the German defence.

    But we won’t. It’s like watching your Nan dance in slow motion.

  42. 42.

    eclare

    June 29, 2021 at 1:32 pm

    Wow!

  43. 43.

    patroclus

    June 29, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    Goooooooooooaaaaaaallllllllll!

  44. 44.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    and there you go! passing with purpose and some creativity

  45. 45.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    Sterling, Kane, and Grealish made that happen. Nice passing between the three with a score to finish.

  46. 46.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    Goal!!!!

    Quick passing, quick delivery, tap in for Sterling!

    Let’s do that again, eh?

    Fucksake Slabhead, Shaw had that!

  47. 47.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    And Slabhead with a card.

  48. 48.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 1:37 pm

    And Slabhead with a head-block on the free kick!

    That’s what it’s for!

  49. 49.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:38 pm

    Wow, Mueller… dude… just pulled it wide. Oof!

  50. 50.

    Just Chuck

    June 29, 2021 at 1:39 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo: No-huddle worked for the Buffalo Bills, got them to four super bowls.  Guess it would have had made a better impression if they’d won one of those.

  51. 51.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:39 pm

    Nazgul’s Balls but I thought that was 1-1

  52. 52.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 1:40 pm

    Sterling’s passing is woeful… except for that goal.  He’d make me crazy if he was on my team.

  53. 53.

    VeniceRiley

    June 29, 2021 at 1:40 pm

    Sterling has regained his confidence as a difference maker for several matches now.  Glad to see. Bodes well for City as fans were getting down on him.

  54. 54.

    James E Powell

    June 29, 2021 at 1:40 pm

    He is going to have nightmares about that miss for the rest of his life.

  55. 55.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 1:42 pm

    Pickford is Man of the Match so far. Done everything right.

  56. 56.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:42 pm

    Oh God, they’ll knight him for that.

  57. 57.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    And Graelish to Kaine; Germany just doesn’t seem to have an answer in this second half.

  58. 58.

    patroclus

    June 29, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    Stick a fork in this one – Germany’s done.

  59. 59.

    eclare

    June 29, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    Holy shit!

  60. 60.

    HumboldtBlue

    June 29, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    There it is!

  61. 61.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:44 pm

    @Just Chuck: The Pats, with Brady, were very effective with the no-huddle.

  62. 62.

    JML

    June 29, 2021 at 1:44 pm

    Hmm, think playing Grealish is a good idea? All the creativity and clever play has come through him and his side since he came on.

  63. 63.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 1:45 pm

    Grealish to Kane!

    Sounds like the English fans arrived.

  64. 64.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:46 pm

    I was just about to lambast E H KANE for refusing the quick forward pass to Sterling or Grealish because he’s too fucking slow to get up there with them and then he goes and gets on the end of Grealish’s inch perfect pass

    I think we’ve got this won, though.

    ETA – Which is odd, because this is England v Germany, we’re supposed to lose.

  65. 65.

    eclare

    June 29, 2021 at 1:46 pm

    @JML:  I noticed that too

  66. 66.

    Amir Khalid

    June 29, 2021 at 1:47 pm

    Captain Kane grabs the second for England. And some were writing  him off earlier in the match.

  67. 67.

    patroclus

    June 29, 2021 at 1:47 pm

    @JML: Putting Grealish in was a literal game-changer.

  68. 68.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    June 29, 2021 at 1:48 pm

    Boy Gnabry gives that ball away and then lollygags it down the pitch and doesn’t get himself back in the play. That was just terrible.

  69. 69.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:50 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    My Mum could, would and if forced to choose between playing her or playing ENGLAND’s HARRY KANE definitely should have scored that.

    ETA – Harumph and get off my lawn!

    He’s a half-fit liability with good Press.

  70. 70.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    There was a dude in the stands, English fan, that was a dead fucking ringer for the former Klingon leader Gowron.

  71. 71.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 1:53 pm

    @Tony Jay:

    He’s a half-fit liability with good Press.

    So he’s the next PM? :P

  72. 72.

    VeniceRiley

    June 29, 2021 at 1:53 pm

    @Tony Jay: Oh dear. We will never hear the end of his highness now. I keep praying City don’t buy him.
    But well done England!

  73. 73.

    randy khan

    June 29, 2021 at 1:57 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    It’s a shame you’re so antsy. If I ruled the world (yes, we’re both glad I don’t) I’d have you chained in front of your TV with your eyelids taped open & forced to watch a month’s worth of baseball. Either you’d return to the gridiron broadcasts reconciled to the tempo, or you’d go bonkers due to sensory deprivation.​​

     

    I recognize this is a definite YMMV issue, but I find baseball much more interesting than football.  There are literally hundreds of events each game – something can happen on every single pitch, and you can see nearly all of it without the need for four angles of replay to figure out what actually happened.  (I’m aware that line play is intricate and precise, but honestly it’s not that exciting, particularly at half speed.)

    And it’s even better when you’re there in person, unlike football, which is definitively much better on TV.

  74. 74.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 1:58 pm

    Didn’t expect that result at all. Germany were poor, and whatever they did create the defence and Pickford dealt with it easily enough. Once we actually started getting at them quickly down the left (Hi Jack) their defensive frailties showed.

    Sweden or Ukraine next. Bloody hell.

  75. 75.

    HumboldtBlue

    June 29, 2021 at 1:58 pm

    Ya think the Engerlanders have waited a while for a win like this?

  76. 76.

    burnspbesq

    June 29, 2021 at 2:01 pm

    This will likely be Kane’s last hurrah. At the World Cup it will be Calvert-Lewin or they’ll go with Foden as a false nine and swarm the opposition with young fast guys, of which there is no shortage.

  77. 77.

    Leto

    June 29, 2021 at 2:03 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: Per the ESPN person this is first time the Brits have knocked out Germany, in a major tournament, since that 1966 WC.

  78. 78.

    LeftCoastYankee

    June 29, 2021 at 2:03 pm

    Joy in England tonight.

    Tomorrow they can get back to making themselves miserable about Sweden or Ukraine!

  79. 79.

    Tony Jay

    June 29, 2021 at 2:06 pm

    @Leto:

    Haaa! Look, given the alternative I’d definitely take him. A half fit KANE is a massive improvement on a fully shit Flobalob.

    @VeniceRiley:

    His face will be everywhere. KING HARRY CHEWS UP SOUR KRAUTS. Flobalob will order schools to sing songs to his pale-faced glory. Bleaugh.

  80. 80.

    TomatoQueen

    June 29, 2021 at 2:07 pm

    Football coming home?

    England England Football Football

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEb1Zh8eptg

  81. 81.

    burnspbesq

    June 29, 2021 at 2:07 pm

    @Leto:

    You would have bet serious money on Muller in that situation.

    Pickford played it correctly: cut down the angle, make yourself big, and hope the moment is too big for the opposing forward. And it was.

  82. 82.

    burnspbesq

    June 29, 2021 at 2:09 pm

    And now, it’s blue and yellow vs. yellow and blue. I have no dog in this fight, hoping that both teams throw caution to the winds and f***ing GO FOR IT.

  83. 83.

    Sloane Ranger

    June 29, 2021 at 2:31 pm

    Wow! I can’t believe it. 2-0! Sterling worked his socks off all match but Pickworth was my Man of the Match, calm, collected, wonderful hands.

    I think playing Grealish as a substitute may actually be a deliberate strategy. Let the opposition get settled, then introduce him to switch things up.

  84. 84.

    Uncle Cosmo

    June 29, 2021 at 2:34 pm

    @burnspbesq: ​Noted and agreed.

    I have a pair of small books I copped in a UK airport bookstore a few years back: Bluff Your Way In Rugby and Bluff Your Way In Cricket. Never had the courage to open either…

  85. 85.

    Barney

    June 29, 2021 at 2:39 pm

    No one from the ‘Group of Death’ has made it into the quarter-finals. Not, I would say, because they were knackered after hard games in the group; just that they didn’t have much ambition in the round of 16, and the standard of pretty much everyone who made it that far is good.

  86. 86.

    Geminid

    June 29, 2021 at 2:43 pm

    @randy khan: And baseball is pretty nice on the radio. Laid back and calming.

  87. 87.

    James E Powell

    June 29, 2021 at 2:44 pm

    @randy khan:

    I recognize this is a definite YMMV issue, but I find baseball much more interesting than football.

    Agree. All taste is taste. I love baseball, others don’t. I’m not going to try to convince them.

    As I tell my students, boredom happens in the mind. You may be bored, and that’s okay, but that doesn’t mean the thing – book, movie, sport, whatever – is boring.

  88. 88.

    WaterGirl

    June 29, 2021 at 2:50 pm

    New soccer post is open for business.

  89. 89.

    jeffreyw

    June 29, 2021 at 3:14 pm

    @Geminid:

    My grandpa always watched the Cards on TV but refused to listen to their game callers, he listened to the game on the radio.  I remember Harry Caray was involved, somehow.

  90. 90.

    TomatoQueen

    June 29, 2021 at 3:29 pm

    My auntie, at age 90, is still following the Dodgers on the radio.

  91. 91.

    columbusqueen

    June 29, 2021 at 5:05 pm

    Wow. Late to the thread, & blown away by the news. Am I right in assuming that most English adults will be soaked to the gills tonight?

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