Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

He really is that stupid.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

The words do not have to be perfect.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

No one could have predicted…

You are here: Home / Sports / Euro 2020 Football (Soccer) / Euro 2020 Football (Soccer) Semi-Finals: England v Denmark

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185Comments

  2. 2.

    cope

    After surviving the horrendous onslaught of Elsa, I look forward to getting back to normal life with a good competitive game on the tube.

  7. 7.

    VeniceRiley

    Posts from my phone disappear into ether. But Engerland!
    Oh, I know this works if you’re there… ask Alexa if it’s coming home.

  11. 11.

    raven

    @HumboldtBlue: “The hypocrisy of the Prince of Wales, heir to the crown of the United Kingdom asking a British Army corps to play a song to support the English football team for a SEMI final will be lost on many people.. was there a similar performance for the Scottish national football team ??”

  18. 18.

    Tony Jay

    @HumboldtBlue: 

    It’s a smart tactic. OTOH – England are wearing the old Liverpool away kit from the 1980s in which we always seemed to lose against Nottingham Forest.

  31. 31.

    HumboldtBlue

    There’s the first Pickford boneheaded play, he’s got another one in him that’s for sure.

  32. 32.

    Tony Jay

    @burnspbesq:

    Standing naked and trembling in a plastic sealed wet-room shouting “Beckham! Giggsy! Scholes! Rooooooneeeyyyyyy!!!!” over and over again while he rhythmically beats himself turgid with a rolled up program from the 1999 Champions League Final?

  34. 34.

    Steve in the ATL

    @cope:

     

    And England dressed as Spurs.

    My Arsenal friends tell me that is properly spelled “S***s” so as not to traumatize the young ones

  39. 39.

    JML

    great free kick by denmark. England looks very casual today. Now they need to chase the game and they don’t look set up for it at all.

  41. 41.

    Tony Jay

    England just need to carry on doing what they’ve been doing, but at a faster tempo. We need more from the front three (looking at you ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE!) and quicker movement from the back line to the front.

  46. 46.

    Leto

    Dear Sterling: you have to bury that. You’re probably not going to get another gift horse like that one.

    Edit: whelp, gotta eat that comment. BUT on replay, looks like an own goal. So original comment still stands :P

  47. 47.

    Tony Jay

    @Leto:

    It’s like watching an elderly giraffe strolling around in the safari park.

    And that’s 1-1! Sako to Stirling!

  52. 52.

    Tony Jay

    Own goal. Loved Stirling’s dive on the goal line. Just making absolutely sure.

  53. 53.

    JML

    ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE realized again that he’s not getting any service with Mount playing at the 10, so he’s gonna drop back and play as a false 9, I guess, and try and feed it to Sterling and Saka…

  54. 54.

    Leto

    11th own goal of the tournament. That’s more than all the other Euro championships, combined (per ESPN commentator).

  57. 57.

    Leto

    @Tony Jay: they showed the replay of his first attempt and he just shot it into the Schmichael’s stomach. Had a million miles of open goal to either side. Sometimes it be like that, but still, pick a corner man.

  58. 58.

    JML

    @Leto: they’re much more aggressive about ruling deflections as own goal now than they used to be. but this one was an own goal by any reckoning. But again, few of them are because of poor defending this tourney (except for a couple of howlers)

  61. 61.

    Leto

    @JML: yeah, there’s only been 1-2 egregious ones but most have been defenders trying to keep up with their mark and deflecting it in. Just fascinating to see.

  62. 62.

    Leto

    @Tony Jay: “Raheem, stand there and deflect it in. I know we could play a 2×4, but technically we’re supposed to play people so you’ll have to do.” – England

  64. 64.

    Tony Jay

    @Leto:

    He’s always been great with fast feet and playing other people in around the box, but he’s never lost his habit of running into trouble or panicking when he has to shoot. The fact he’s surrounded by quality players and top finishers at Citeh has been the salvation of his on field reputation.

    ETA – he’s been playing some top football at this tournament though. A constant threat down the left.

  65. 65.

    HumboldtBlue

    Bukayo Saka is the youngest Englishmen to start a semifinal match at 19 years 305 days.

  66. 66.

    Leto

    Maguire utilizes the Easter Island forehead to rough up two Danish players, earning a yellow in the process.

  67. 67.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @eclare: That Soviet one is pretty fantastic. The Uruguayan one…not as majestic but a rollicking tune that sounds like it could have been a chorus in a Rossini opera.

  69. 69.

    Leto

    Schmichael denies the Forehead with a spectacular save; we’re still level

    Edit: he did it with just his fingers. Man that was a save!

  72. 72.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @eclare: I do like La Marseillaise though. I also like Germany’s though the Nazis nearly ruined it. What can I say though, I like a Haydn tune.

  73. 73.

    Tony Jay

    I just saw ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE running. Have the substitutes started warming up?

  75. 75.

    JML

    @HumboldtBlue: we should; England have had limited ideas the whole game and Mount has been invisible for most of the game. they need a charge from Jack.

  77. 77.

    Leto

    Grealish looks like he’s getting ready to enter the game. Denmark making 3 subs now.

  78. 78.

    Tony Jay

    There’s Grealish.
    He needs to take off KANE and bring on Dom Calvert-Lewin, but he won’t.
    Sako off. Pity, he’s a live wire.

  79. 79.

    Leto

    Out comes Saka (shame), and in comes BJ fan favorite. Honestly would’ve taken Kane out as Saka has been really good down that right hand side.

  81. 81.

    Tony Jay

    Ooof! Almost a (deliberate?) chip from Mount.

    Was that a dive by ENGLAND’s HARRY KANE? Actually no, that looks like a pen.

    ETA – The referee disagrees. Maybe reputation played a part, eh Sir Flopalot?

  86. 86.

    Tony Jay

    The tempo has dropped. Maybe time for some fresh legs, Gareth? The Danes have put on eight of them.

  87. 87.

    HumboldtBlue

    Why is Kyle Walker still on the pitch? He’s done fuck-all today other than one defensive chase down and turning the ball over a few times.​

  89. 89.

    Tony Jay

    @HumboldtBlue:

    You mean Manchester City’s Premier League winning left back and sexy-party enthusiast Kyle Walker?

    No idea.

    You know, it would be an idea if we maybe had more attacking movement in the box so the Danes didn’t find it so easy to block all the predictable passing channels. 

  90. 90.

    JML

    Gareth is afraid to pull Stones for Mings and doesn’t have any wide fullbacks to bring in.

    You’d think that they might sub off Sterling or Mount for fresh legs (Sancho? or Foden?) but looks like a no. EHK isn’t coming off without an injury, I think, even if he’s the slowest guy on the pitch.

  92. 92.

    Tony Jay

    All too narrow.
    Tired legs.
    No penetration.
    Easy blocks.
    Everything in front of the Danes.

    Extra time beckons.

  94. 94.

    Leto

    @Tony Jay: Kane will continue to flop as long as he’s in, which gives England easy free kicks. Slabhead with another chance but Schmicheal with another good save.

  95. 95.

    Ken

    @Tony Jay: You know, it would be an idea if we maybe had more attacking movement in the box so the Danes didn’t find it so easy to block all the predictable passing channels.

    With commentary like that, you’re ready to become a US sports announcer. Except I think you were being sarcastic, while the US announcers genuinely believe that “If this team want to win, they’ve got to score more than the other team” is insightful analysis.

  97. 97.

    piratedan

    @Ken:  with takes like that, they’ll never find work with the GOP, sheesh, majorities are for suckers…..

  98. 98.

    JML

    Grealish is helping drive things forward, which they need to open up space, but I’m not sure the mids have the legs to make those overlapping runs for him. Mount is still doing nothing except cross the ball, IMHO, but he’s like a security blanket for Gareth and won’t go out absent injury.

    Can’t believe we’re not seeing more of the English bench. You’d think an early sub in OT would happen, but I’m not sure Gareth will do it (except to sub out Grealish)

  100. 100.

    HumboldtBlue

    Hendo and Foden coming on it appears.​ No one on the follow up.​ 
    What was it one redditor said about Foden?
    “Foden looks like he doesn’t know he’s the robot boy in the movie about the robot boy.” Or some such.

  106. 106.

    Tony Jay

    We’ve got two of the Bundesliga’s most valuable and valued attacking players sitting on the bench in Sancho and Bellingham. Just saying.

    Penalty!

    ETA – Is that a dive? It’s with VAR.  It’s a pen!

  107. 107.

    Leto

    And now a PK for England. Sterling managed to dodge the extra ball on field… idk, kind of ticky tacky. Doesn’t really look like a PK but here we are.

  108. 108.

    HumboldtBlue

    Great footwork Raheem. Well done.​ 
    Don’t think it’s a penalty but doubt it’s overturned.

  110. 110.

    Leto

    Oh man, thought the commentator’s curse had struck but Captain Slow put away the rebound. Schmichael should be livid at his defenders for not getting in front of him.

  112. 112.

    Tony Jay

    ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE!

    Making every English commentator shoot rainbows. Crap penalty, lucky rebound.

    2-1

  115. 115.

    JML

    EHK fails and redeems in the same play! Great play by the keeper…but where was denmark on the follow?

  118. 118.

    Leto

    ESPN commentator: could Schmichael have done better on the block… mf’er, he blocked it! He did his job! Ugh.

  122. 122.

    Tony Jay

    Right. He’s got ‘his’ goal. Take him off and get some pace on! It’s what the Italian/Spanish/German/Macedonian managers would do.

  125. 125.

    Amir Khalid

    Schmeichel saves the pen, but Kane scores the rebound. England 2-1 Denmark.

  127. 127.

    Leto

    Honestly neither team looks like they’ll pressure Italy in the slightest. I mean it’s still soccer, and shit happens, but this will be Italy’s to lose.

  128. 128.

    JML

    Despite the commentary, i think that was a fair PK. you had Sterling get tripped on one side with a late leg and clipped on the hip from the other side. both Denmark players were late on the challenge and dumped Sterling, who earned it by being quicker. (and any whining about it being a soft PK is wiped out by the fact that Denmark dodged a PK earlier)

  130. 130.

    JML

    @Leto: because Southgate doesn’t like him and wants to tell the world he doesn’t work hard enough on D.

    Grealish should be staying on and kane coming off, because EHK is so slow at this point that I might race him for money.

  131. 131.

    Tony Jay

    Grealish off for Trippier? Unless that’s an injury (it’s not) that’s bonkers. Shoring up the defence and leaving Grandad Flopper to amble around up front is just asking for a Danish onslaught.

  132. 132.

    James E Powell

    As a neophyte, I’m not understanding the shade being thrown at Kane. Seems like he scores goals. Is there a history I need to know?

  133. 133.

    Steeplejack

    Color commentary:

    Always impressed that soccer players on ‘the bench’ get high end bucket seats.

    — southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) July 7, 2021

  134. 134.

    JML

    @James E Powell: I actually like Kane a lot, but he’s been off form going into the tournament and is clearly slower than usual, but the British media and his manager will hear no criticism of him, ever.

  136. 136.

    Tony Jay

    Jesus Christ. Every time E H KANE gets touched he flips to the horizontal faster than a hooker at rush hour.

    Oh look, pinned to the edge of the 18 yard box by Danish pressure, and when we do get it out there’s only Sterling with pace and no one to pass to.

    Tactical fucking suicide.

  138. 138.

    patroclus

    England had played WAY better throughout and deserve this W, but I have to say that I think that was a questionable penalty call.

  139. 139.

    Tony Jay

    @James E Powell:

    Back when he was fit and in form he was the complete foreword, even if he did have a completely deserved reputation for systematic diving.
    Right now he’s got no pace, he out of form, relying on set pieces and tap-ins for goals. He’s slowing the team down and Southgate WILL NOT substitute him for someone younger and faster.
    It grates.

  145. 145.

    HumboldtBlue

    Gonna be a great final. Well done England, looking forward to watching this team against the Italians.

  146. 146.

    Leto

    @Tony Jay: pretty much spot on assessment. Jesus, he looks so winded as he’s clapping hands with everyone.

    Nothing but respect for the Danes. Absolutely brilliant run after such a horrific start. Hope we get to see more of them in these big tournaments.

  148. 148.

    Sloane Ranger

    Hello Italy! I’m sobbing with joy. I haven’t put up my flag yet out of superstition but I’ve just got it out of the draw and will put it up tomorrow.  I can’t believe it! Arise Sir Gareth.

  149. 149.

    R-Jud

    Was just pulling up the Grauniad to see the result at the exact moment my arsehole neighbours started setting off fireworks.

    So it would appear it is, indeed, coming home. At least for a visit.

  151. 151.

    Tony Jay

    @Leto:

    They played the second part of extra time with 10 men, allowing England to get away with the overly defensive switch. Italy wouldn’t have been so generous.

    Well, we’re in the Final. We’ve got to find a way to keep the tournament’s best team at arms length while scoring more than one goal. And we’ve got to go it with THE STATUE OF ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE playing upfront.

    We’re doomed!!!! 8-)

  152. 152.

    JMG

    I have never heard (metaphorically, I’m reading it of course) such bitching about a player who scored the game winning goal in my life. Must be a lot of Arsenal fans on this board.

  153. 153.

    VeniceRiley

    @Tony Jay:  yeah, winning it on an own goal and a penalty doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. But hey, it’s a chance.

  157. 157.

    NetheadJay

    @Leto: Oh, you’ll be seeing more of this team in the coming years, starting with the World Cup next year (though I fuckin’ hate where it’s being played). There’s a bunch of young and talented players who’s got a taste of success now and will be wanting more.

  158. 158.

    patroclus

    @James E Powell: Sweet Caroline is all over the planet these days (I’ve seen youtubes from all over).  And Neil remains big in the U.S., but he’s much much bigger in places like Ireland and Australia (and Israel).

  159. 159.

    Morzer

    @Tony Jay: 

    So, to summarize, Kane is no longer able.

    That was a pretty dodgy penalty and Harry Leadfoot got mighty lucky with the rebound. Much respect to the Danes. I think Italy are going to win the final 2-1, but my predictions are generally Cole-esque in their NQ (Nostradamic Quotient) so…

  160. 160.

    Tony Jay

    @JMG:

    Don’t be daft. Arsenal fans can’t type.

    The newspapers tomorrow will be all ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE SHOOTS THE LIONS INTO THE FINAL after taking a shit penalty that rebounds to him. My Mum could have scored that, but my Mum is faster and more mobile than E H KANE and she’s in her 70s and has had a stroke.

  161. 161.

    Sloane Ranger

    @JMG: The problem with England fans, might be true of all fans everywhere, is that each and every one thinks they’re better managers than the actual managers. I’m a pragmatist. I don’t care how we win providing we do win.

  162. 162.

    Tony Jay

    @James E Powell:

    When fit he’s well worth his place, but he’s not fit.

    Neil Diamond played Glastonbury a few years back and seemed genuinely astonished that hundreds of thousands of kids knew all his songs and loved them. Man’s a legend. And he’s faster than E H KANE

  163. 163.

    JMG

    @Tony Jay: Kane led the Premier League in goals and assists. He’s slower than he was (with all those ankle injuries, it’d be amazing if he wasn’t), but he does seem to know where to be even if he gets there more slowly than before.

  164. 164.

    Tony Jay

    @Morzer:

    Yup.

    I’m actually looking forward to the Italy game. They play in a way that our defensive style is well suited to counter, and have an ageing back line that we can exploit.

    But FFS Gareth, make the right substitutions. The Italians will.

  165. 165.

    Tony Jay

    @JMG:

    Quite recent ankle injury he came back too quickly from (again) and he hast been right since.

  166. 166.

    patroclus

    @Tony Jay: Yeah, a lot of Americans (i.e., “serious” rock fans) have looked down on Neil for decades, but most of us don’t realize how he is regarded worldwide.  I saw the replay of that Glastonbury concert on AXSTV – the crowd just adored him and every single one of his songs (which they all knew and sang along to).  Sadly, he’s retired now and doesn’t do any concerts anymore.

    This English-American is all in for the Lions to bring it back home against Italy.

  167. 167.

    Tony Jay

    Anyway, enough about Captain Slo-Mo, we worked our arses off and won the game.

    First Final in ever. Whoop!

  172. 172.

    billcinsd

    @Tony Jay:The fact he’s surrounded by quality players and top finishers at Citeh has been the salvation of his on field reputation.

     

    Too bad he didn’t have that at his previous club

  174. 174.

    billcinsd

    @Tony Jay:Manchester City’s Premier League winning left back

    Kyle Walker plays right back (and center back on occasion) and has since his Sheffield United days

  176. 176.

    patroclus

    @trollhattan: Indeed.  And, in a different vein, Jerry Lewis and Roy Orbison.  Hasselhoff’s “Looking for Freedom” was very popular in Eastern Europe about the time (1989) the Soviet bloc was falling apart and Baywatch was being shown worldwide and that led to him being invited to the Fall of the Berlin Wall celebration.  Lewis was regarded as the classic American auteur long after we tired of his endless telethons.  Orbison’s career had virtually faded into oblivion until he did a concert in Romania of all places and they just went wild over him which caused his late-life resurgence here.  It’s weird how the rest of the world some times appreciates Americans after we’ve long since discarded them.

    Regarding Sweet Caroline, though, this has been going on for quite some time.  Iowa State football did it long before Fenway, Hong Kong football clubs have been doing it for decades.  Northern Ireland’s football fans are now claiming that England is stealing Sweet Caroline from them.  Even the German fans were singing along after they lost to England.  Try going to any street festival in any U.S. city (especially Chicago) and not hearing it in the summer.  It’s become ubiquitous worldwide.  Neil was interviewed about the English phenomena and said he was thrilled and “hopes to hear it again.”  Gareth Southgate said you can’t beat “a bit of Sweet Caroline.”  Harry Kane broke down crying when he heard it after Germany.  Even Wills had it played last week by the royal band…

  178. 178.

    burnspbesq

    Hard to figure out what DCL did to be so completely buried on the bench. As of right now, he seems the clear first choice center forward.

    Maybe he was mean to Southgate’s kids.

  179. 179.

    Tony Jay

    @billcinsd:

    He’s a professional footballer. You’re expressing doubt about his athleticism? Weird. The man runs and runs and runs all game. Yes, it’s too often into a wall of opposition players, but that’s a problem his manager has noticed as well. 8-)

  180. 180.

    burnspbesq

    Saka’s market value has gone up by at least £20 million in the last two weeks.

  182. 182.

    Tony Jay

    @burnspbesq:

    Is his name ENGLAND’S HARRY KANE? No? Then he’s shit out of luck.

    Seriously. The only way DCL gets to play any serious minutes is if EHK picks up a major injury in training, and even then I get the impression Southgate would rather try and get by with two up front and stick another midfielder in there than let another man take EHK’s place.

  183. 183.

    Uncle Cosmo

    ‘Scuzi if this has been brought up before (I’m not clambering through this thread to find out), but at least 2 generations ago “Sweet Caroline” was the 7th-inning stretch song at Fenway. And 4AIK may be yet. Every other sports team that uses it stole the idea from the Sawx. (And that’s hard for me to admit because I fucking HATE HATE HATE the Bloody Hose.)

  185. 185.

    Msb

    @5
    Denmark’s non-royal anthem (Der er et yndigt land – there is a wonderful country) is lovely: talks all about the country’s natural beauty. Nothing about kicking any hateful foreigners.
    The royal anthem (King Christian) has a rousing tune, but is about a sea battle that Denmark lost and cost Christian IV an eye.

    Damn. Nothing to do now but root for Italy. After cheering our guys to the echo.

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