Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

This blog will pay for itself.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

You are here: Home / Popular Culture / Gamer Dork / Say Hello to the Newest Member of the PC Gaming Community

Reader Interactions

87Comments

  6. 6.

    Betty

    Awesome job. You’re not such a bad guy even if you are a little grumpy sometimes. Thanks for creating and maintaining this bit of sanity.

  9. 9.

    Erin in Flagstaff

    This is great! By the way, I decided to tip my toe into the world of PC gaming and Stardew Valley is my first game.

  10. 10.

    Ryan

    Skyrim 10th anniversary.  You get all of the Creation Club content.  It’s another DLC but perhaps worth it?

  13. 13.

    mrmoshpotato

    How big is that monitor?! (Question answered above. ?)

    Also, got some antivirus installed on that beast too?

  22. 22.

    gratuitous

    Sheesh. People are going to get the idea that Cole’s a nice guy. All his efforts to the contrary blown to bits in an afternoon. Let that be a lesson to the rest of us.

  23. 23.

    endaround

    Epic is giving away a game daily on their store through the end of the year. Amazon has had Xbox controllers on sale for $25 off, currently only blue is left.

  24. 24.

    eversor

    Nice. Though I’m all assuming the tower specs are good. The monitor is 144hz or higher and with adaptive sync of some sort. Also that the keyboard is mechanical and the mouse is optical instead of laser. Though I’m finicky and I grew up with competitive Quake 1 through Quake 3 and still only play the competitive league online (no filthy casuals) and take trips to competitive events like EVO for fighting games if only to hangout with the other old timers and get shit faced drunk and teach the youngs a thing or two about Street Fighter.

    A few personal pieces of advise though you’re probably aware of them since you game. That chair and that table and that positioning. Not looking straight on is going to give you neck craps and quick so you need a massive and deep enough table to have everything head on. For the chair, man I assume there is another one there? I didn’t take them seriously for years and then I did and now my stupid chair is an Aeron because screw back problems.

    Lastly I don’t see much of an audio setup. Gaming is mostly headset now blah blah blah. I don’t see one but curious about that. I use an external DAC (I know I know but it makes a huge difference in quality short of slapping a 300 buck soundcard into the tower) and swap out both open and closed backed headphones on it. I know the fight is “closed back better isolation, open back better sound stage” along with the whole argument about wireless. But as I know you have small animals have you tried open backed headphones? I found while it can screw up a match when they go at it and distract you it also can prevent you sad collisions between rolling chairs and cats.

    Hope she enjoys it!

  39. 39.

    Old Man Shadow

    That’s nice. Acts of kindness are what I need to read about instead of the constant stream of doom.

    Since there seem to be a lot of computer folks here, any recommendations on a gaming laptop that won’t set me back three grand? I don’t play online multiplayer stuff, just looking for something a lot faster than my current 10 year-old laptop.

  41. 41.

    Edmund Dantes

    @Old Man Shadow: are you a Costco member? 3 years ago I bought a legion gaming laptop from them for 800 bucks that played a decent amount of games without a problem as it had a 1080 ti card.

    i assume they have similar again this year. I’ll look.

  42. 42.

    eclare

    @raven: 

    Same. I saw your post about Artie and wanted to let you know the gentlest dog I ever had was an AmStaff. She terrified everyone else, about 80 pounds, but so sweet. She especially terrified moms with strollers at the park because she would make a beeline for them. She knew strollers were full of dropped food!

  47. 47.

    Emma

    Congrats to you all, Breyana will have so much fun! If she likes SV, then there’s Cozy Grove and Spiritfarer! (I myself didn’t enjoy Spiritfarer, but Abigail Nussbaum and a bunch of others at LGM love it. Speaking of which, Abigail’s video game post is another good place for recs)

  48. 48.

    prostratedragon

    Nice box! B. is lucky in her uncles.

    One suggestion is to look into a stand for the monitor.  Make it easier to square up and to see the whole screen at times,  with less real estate.  I priced monitors a couple of months ago and decided in horror to stick with my 32 inch tv, so she might be using her 40 incher a while.

    Speaking of horror,  good luck to graphics card hunters.

  49. 49.

    Sebastian

    I can highly recommend the XBOX Pass. She would probably only need the PC Pass, which costs less.

    I found it to be very helpful to try out a bunch of games and then decide what I like or not. I am keeping the subscription for convenience but it’s not necessary.

  52. 52.

    M31

    aww that is awesome!

    next Balloon Juice fundraiser is Cole and Breyana gaming on Twitch, my $$ is on B

  56. 56.

    eversor

    @prostratedragon:  Using TVs for gaming* is for the most part really badly advised.  Most TVs have a large amount of processing resulting in very high input lag in addition to utterly crap refresh.  60hz and 12ms  is considered utter crap for a PC gaming monitor (this is a regular monitor), but that’s actually better than what a TV will do.   PC gaming monitors are generally 144hz 4ms at the lowest end all the way up to 360hz 1ms at the higher end.   This actually makes a huge difference.

    The difference is large enough that console gamers who play FPS or fighting games online either use PC gaming monitors even though they can’t take advantage of all the features or console monitors which can do about 120hz 2ms or so now.

    I wouldn’t use a TV as a computer monitor for a lot of reasons.  Even not gaming and doing professional work the color accuracy and other issues are enough to drive you away.

    *LG has part of their OLED series dedicated to gaming where they hit 120hz and 4ms over HDMI 2.1 if you have the right graphics cards and also adaptive sync.   But these are rather niche products in the TV land and specifically marketed for PC gaming.   Also they do not come cheap.

  57. 57.

    prostratedragon

    @eversor:  Oh, I know.  Not a gamer.  Just checked back at my dealer’s site and saw that a significant boost in refresh is still around $400 at the size I want,  even with  year end sale prices. (Pushed wrong button) The tv works well  enough for the functional graphics I do at least till sometime next year. Btw,  I think fairly recent TVs are all at least 60 to 75 mHz.

  58. 58.

    stinger

    Merry Christmas, Breyana! Not a gamer myself, so I can’t really “welcome” you to gaming, but I’m sure with JG as your guide, you’ll have a great time.

  59. 59.

    Motivated Seller

    Steam seems to me to be a scammy kind of business model, but I see it being used more and more.  Aside from playing the games that are not available on any other platform, what advantage is there?

    BTW I am not trying to start a flame war, I just want to know if my suspicions are warranted.

  60. 60.

    Skepticat

    I hope she gets at least a fraction of the enjoyment out of having this that you got from putting this together. Ya done good.

  61. 61.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    Kennedy Center Honors – tonight at 9 PM Eastern on CBS

    Inductees: Bette Midler, Joni Mitchell, Berry Gordy, Lorne Michaels, and Justino Díaz

  63. 63.

    lurker

    sadly, the first thing I thought when I saw this was that you guys are such enablers…

     

    it is a cool looking setup, even with the deceptively large tv – monitors can be surprisingly cheap, so might make for a good bday gift near term.

    not much of a gamer, having figured out that I get overly wrapped up in them, but I can see where having a good setup helps with that the same way it does with other types of work (and really, grinding out levels … definitely some of that is work…)

    Congrats to Breyonna (sp?) and to Gerald and John for getting all of the electronics to work together.

  64. 64.

    NYCMT

    @SpaceUnit: I I’m going to agree with you because I have a 10-year-old and I am desperately trying to keep him out of computer gaming.

    The phrase quote gaming is a toilet quote is a phrase that came out of my mouth when we had a discussion about Minecraft earlier this year. I want him reading books and engaging in physical activity.

  65. 65.

    LesGS

    My now 30ish year old gaming daughters recommend that if Breyana starts playing online games with strangers, that she choose a non-obviously female handle and avatar. Reduces the chance of harassment.

  66. 66.

    NotMax

    Only slightly critical thing would mention in passing is to not place the tower on a fabric-covered surface as it is now.

    I realize you already had it as a spare (and reusing rather than gathering dust is a good thing) but this fuddy-duddy doesn’t get the appeal of towers with lighting. Electronic tits on a bull, IMHO.

  69. 69.

    prostratedragon

    @NotMax:
    @schrodingers_cat:
    You guys! I had the same reaction during my recent shopping. Talk about shiny objects. Wound up with an opaque tower for other reasons, but you can peek through the vents and see the cards just glimmering away.
    And Ill never lose my mouse. Guess we’re all geezers now.

  70. 70.

    SpaceUnit

    @NYCMT:

    I was mostly being tongue-in-cheek, although not entirely.

    I think those games are okay in moderation, but a lot of people seem to get completely addicted to them.  Would much rather see a young person get involved with sports, art, etc.

    Others are of course free to disagree.

  71. 71.

    NotMax

    Simply for the transitory grin, shall mention that the brand of one of the dual monitors sitting on the desk here is … AOC.

    ;)

    (There’s also several pithy punch lines which could be crafted re: monitors/TVs about getting rid of CRT.)

  74. 74.

    Ella in New Mexico

    Tell her Dad to watch out!

    In my experience, Gamer Girls end up being smart, confident, science and computer geeks later on down the road who build their own complex, monstrous gaming systems that cost parents a whole lotta money because, well, it’s so cool to watch their brains at work :-)

    She looks so happy, ENJOY!

  76. 76.

    Edmund Dantes

    @Motivated Seller: I tend to try to buy stuff on gog.com as much as possible as it is yours to download and own. I use Steam for stuff I know have a really big mod community if I am interested in the mods as they make adding mods super simple (and I don’t want to deal with all the side loading and stuff).

    not sure what you mean by it being scammy though.

  78. 78.

    Motivated Seller

    @Edmund Dantes: it seems scammy that you “buy” games that can only be on Steam, which to feels to me a lot like renting the game.   Am I way off base?  Doesn’t Steam require a subscription?  Or is it free like google products are “free.”

  81. 81.

    Geoduck

    I don’t want to be a pill in this happy moment, but.. she does know her picture is being posted online to be seen by a bunch of internet randos, right?

  82. 82.

    PaulB

    @Motivated Seller: Steam is free, no subscription needed.  Once you buy the game, I don’t think they take it away later (could be wrong on a fringe case).  But gog.com is the best for no-DRM.  Steam has the best store features (library sorting, reviews, mods, forums, etc).

    Epic Game Store gives away one or more free games every week, and are in the middle of a game-a-day xmas binge.  I tend to grab free games there and then download if I feel like playing later.

  84. 84.

    Mj_Oregon

    Good on you, John!!  Now that she’s on Steam, you do know that their big winter sale started today, right??  And as for Stardew Valley, Nexus has the best mods for it and no, the developer doesn’t mind mods and even encourages them.  The game is easier to play with a controller that can be set up in Steam.  That said, if she gets stuck with something or has questions, I’m a long-time player and would be happy to give her some tips.  Or she can watch WickedyChickady’s YouTube videos for help and inspiration.  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-PhFNesHQQUYE56H0TQMDQ

  86. 86.

    Art

    Go with what you know.

    But, not while friends wait, check out Linux Mint. Cheap (free), highly virus resistant, auto-detects and loads drivers for all sorts of older equipment, is polite in updating, and is generally well behaved. I have a friend that assembles and gives away computers and Linux/ Mint/ Cinnamon is his go to OS.

    Steam has many compatible games

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