Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

You cannot shame the shameless.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Let there be snark.

“But what about the lurkers?”

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Not all heroes wear capes.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Friday Afternoon Open Thread: Slow News Day, Which is Kind of A Relief

Friday Afternoon Open Thread: Slow News Day, Which is Kind of A Relief

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Willow, photographed in the White House on Wednesday, is the Biden family’s new cat. Erin Scott/White House

A little tribute to Ms. Willow Biden, from SiubhanDuinne

A kitty arrived at the White House today:
Meet Willow! Meet Willow! Meet Willow!
“I’m not even joking, the cat’s here to stay!”
Meet Willow! Meet Willow! Meet Willow!
She sniffed and explored and hid under the bed,
She announced to Jill Biden: “I’d like to be fed.”
Then she went to the Oval, and loudly she said,
“I’m Willow! I’m Willow! I’m Willow!”

A cat in the White House — the first one since Socks —
Is Willow! Is Willow! Is Willow!
She has a nice bed, but went straight for its box,
Oh, Willow. Oh, Willow. Oh, Willow.
She’s met young Commander, who thinks she’s a toy
“He’s a little rambunctious (but then, he’s a boy),
And he doesn’t know how to be quiet or coy,”
Says Willow! Says Willow! Says Willow!

Can Willow appeal to both sides of the aisles?
Can Willow? Can Willow? Can Willow?
Dog-lovers as well as us ailurophiles?
Please, Willow! Please, Willow! Please, Willow!
Now Willow, of course, is a good Democat,
She’ll be a fine envoy, a soft diplomat,
And she’ll rip off the face of that crude plutocrat —
My Pillow! My Pillow! My Pillow!

Open thread.

*Adam is working on a Ukraine post, but I have no idea when it will be done.  If Adam puts his post up about Ukraine soon, I’ll pull this open thread and put it up later.

Reader Interactions

90Comments

  3. 3.

    WaterGirl

    I started to write: “If Adam puts the Ukraine post up”… with “the” modifying “post”, which happened to be about Ukraine.  Just as I would have referred to “the puppy post” that someone was working on.

    My question for the pedants is this: if I had left that could Gin & Tonic have legally had me arrested for appearing as though I was referring to Ukraine as “the Ukraine”?

  9. 9.

    Kay

    In a letter signed by 40 lawmakers from Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, North Carolina and Tennessee, and delivered to the Texas secretary of state’s office on Thursday, the lawmakers pledged to send their own paper to support voter registration efforts in the state.
    “Because Texas is one of just eight states that still does not allow online voter registration, you leave your voters with no option but paper,” the letter states. “Fortunately, we have paper in our states. We would like to extend an offer to the people of Texas to assist with the procurement of paper for the purpose of printing applications to register to vote.”

  11. 11.

    Yarrow

    Not a slow news day in the UK where the Metropolitan Police stepped in at the last minute to stop publication of Sue Grey’s report on her investigation of the Downing Street parties during Covid restrictions.

    Met position unfathomable: first, nothing to see here. Then, after Sue Gray conducts a proper investigation, they big foot a report which would have laid bare Covid rule-breaking under the noses of the coppers in Downing Street. Am I missing something?
    — Lionel Barber (@lionelbarber) January 28, 2022

    I found this thread interesting:

    What we are witnessing is the UK’s equivalent of the storming of the Capitol. Johnson should no longer be PM and everybody bar a few fanatics knows it, but (with the Met’s assistance) an outrageous attempt is being made to keep him in office. 1/4
    — Brian Cathcart (@BrianCathcart) January 28, 2022

  13. 13.

    NotMax

    But- but- Willow is a character on a Joss Whedon show. Isn’t that now verboten?

    //

    Cute ditty, SD. No doubt about tit.

  16. 16.

    Yarrow

    Adam has a post about Ukraine in the oven

    Perhaps a different phrase than “in the oven” would be preferable given his post yesterday.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    Via an LG&M thread earlier today, here’s some prime-grade whackaloonery:

    Sherri Tenpenny, one of the right’s leading anti-vaccine “experts,” claims that COVID vaccines are creating “quantum entanglement” between those who take them and “the Google credit scores and the dematrix and all of those things.” pic.twitter.com/1Hft5GXZMu
    — Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) January 27, 2022

    As a certified Quantum Mechanic, I can assure you that if we could quantum-entangle a vaccine to a Google server (spoiler: as was once famously said, “that’s not even wrong”), we would use such power for vastly more, well, powerful things than credit score ratings. I think we’d start with “accidentally” quantum-tunneling a whole bunch of right-wing pundits and politicians to somewhere on the dark side of the Moon.

  21. 21.

    Miss Bianca

    @NotMax: Buffy-Willow is still adorable, and so is Pussy-Willow. So there.

    They both share a kind of wide-eyed girlish appeal.

  24. 24.

    germy

    All the workers at a Jimmy John's in central Florida quit.

    Store managers posted a sign blaming the temporary closure on the labor shortage.

    But workers responded with a sign of their own: "There IS no labor shortage! The owners of this establishment treated workers like dogs." pic.twitter.com/RTQzfpDPX3

    — More Perfect Union (@MorePerfectUS) January 27, 2022

  25. 25.

    Almost Retired

    Brilliant poetry!  And I’ll be the first to admit that I had to look up ailurophile, even though I guess it was pretty clear in context.  I will now be attempting to use it in a sentence in the next 12 hours to help implant the definition in my brain.

    Our neighbors have cats, so I’ll try it out on them.  “Greetings, my ailurophilic friends.”   Or does that too much like I’m trying too hard to use my word-of-the-day calendar?  FWIW, they already think I’m weird.

  26. 26.

    Miss Bianca

    @dmsilev: It’s a cry for help, ladies and gentlemen, and no one, absolutely no one, is listening able to figure out what the hell she’s saying.

  32. 32.

    Ken

    @WaterGirl: So would “the Ukraine post” have been a fireable offense?

    When I was young we were still taught to diagram sentences, write in copperplate cursive, and plait our own buggy whips, unlike kids nowadays. From what I remember, that would be a noun phrase, with article “the”, adjective “Ukraine”, and noun “post” — so perfectly cromulent (although my inner Nero Wolfe mutters “pfui” at “post”).

    Besides, if you were fired the blog would 3j.0(p....x!z..*...g^[^[^[ NO CARRIER

  36. 36.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @zhena gogolia:

    I pretty much worship Martyn Green, and was lucky enough to see him in half a dozen roles with D’Oyly Carte as well as in concert. And the original “Tit-Willow” is a truly great piece of writing, words and music.

    For my money, the best parody of the song — and there have been a great many — was, and remains, Allan Sherman’s “The Bronx Bird-Watcher.”

    https://youtu.be/Y4F4p8BUVzY

  37. 37.

    WaterGirl

    @zhena gogolia: Yes, i saw that.  I am pretty sure that anyone who has ever met me would know that my phrasing was not a reference to the holocaust.  But I did change the wording after it was pointed out.

  40. 40.

    NotMax

    Break out the nets, and not for the wildlife.

    The National Butterfly Center in Mission, Texas has been through hell in the four years since it became a surprising right-wing fixation. Now, things have gotten bad enough that they’re shutting down for the weekend due to safety concerns. Source

    Can we go back to boat parades? (//)

  45. 45.

    Ken

    @WaterGirl: Diagramming was OK, but singularly useless after I’d taken the test. I think one of the few times I’ve bothered with it was figuring out “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”

    I’m now thinking of making a list of all the things I learned in grade school that I’ve never or rarely used since. The Presidents in order, long division, cursive writing, extracting a square root…

  47. 47.

    Tony Jay

    @Yarrow:

    Yup. The funny thing is, if this is Cressida Dick trying to help out her chum, she’s going about it in the worst way possible.

    Short version. If you’re asking for an independent report to be censored so that it doesn’t ‘prejudice’ your investigation, you really have to be investigating serious criminal wrongdoing that is expected to result in a jury trial and a prison sentence.

    That what you’re doing, Cressida? You better had be, otherwise you are in sooooooooo much shit.

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    Down Florida way, freezing temps unnecessary to make noses blue*.

    Polk County Public Schools Regional Assistant Superintendent John Hill and several of his colleagues spent Tuesday morning going to area middle and high schools to gather 16 books out of media centers after County Citizens Defending Freedom, a conservative political group, complained to Superintendent Frederick Heid that the novels, graphic novels, autobiographies, and sex education books contain pornographic material harmful to children.
    [snip]
    PCPS spokesman Jason Geary said in an email that the books have been placed “in quarantine” and will not be available for checkout at this time. Source

    *(ref.)

  49. 49.

    stinger

    @Almost Retired: In high school, I was in a play where I portrayed a character with ailurophobia. Vaguely recall that the character used it as an excuse for a lot of things she didn’t want to do. Can’t recall the name of the character or even the play. But anyway, I’ve known the word for a long long time.

  50. 50.

    Geminid

    @NotMax: There is a Moronic Convergence on South Texas this weekend. Tomorrow evening a certain asshole will appear at a “Save America” rally at the county fairgrounds near Conroe, 40 miles north of Houston.

  52. 52.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @germy: I think I remember seeing that poem, or a copy of it, in the museum in Dublin where they have the Book of Kells.

  53. 53.

    Almost Retired

    @stinger:  totally need to google that play.  It can’t be “P.S. Your Cat is Dead,” because that was thematically very different : )

  54. 54.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @WaterGirl: I LOVED diagraming sentences.

    Me too! But no nuns, that was in public school.

    I don’t know how useful actual diagramming is, but if you study languages it’s enormously important to be able to figure out where the clauses are, what is an object, what is functioning as an adverb, etc.

    I take a couple language classes for fun, and I’m kind of amazed at what a large fraction of adults don’t seem to know what a direct or indirect object are.

  55. 55.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    “Now Willow, of course, is a good Democat…”

    Au contraire… all cats are Republicans.  IGMFU is their motto.

    The only Democratic goal they can support is the idea that everyone is entitled to a home.

    And now thanks to your links I’ve got “I’ve got a little list” playing in my head.

    I nominate the unvaccinated as those who won’t be missed.

  56. 56.

    jnfr

    Great poem. I love Willow. All the Willows really.

    @NotMax:

    So unhappy over the threats to the Butterfly Center. I’ve followed them for a while and supported them with donations. All through the horrible TFG wall building they had CBP and random militia types cutting their fences and trying to dig up their lands. I hope they get through the weekend okay.

  63. 63.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @germy: What.The.Ever.Loving.Fuck.

    Who was it around here who used to constantly say that the entire village should be tied to stakes and burned to the ground (or something like that)?

  66. 66.

    Bex

    Lots of kids on their Kindles starting on those 16 books right now.  Will Bezos be cancelled by the blue noses soon?

  67. 67.

    Drdavechemist

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    This really is a talent you have for coming up with alternative lyrics that scan and rhyme perfectly. Too many amateurs seem to think that once you get past the first few words you can just do whatever you want and it just falls flat to my ears.
    I keep trying to come up with a version of the Fugue for Tinhorns from Guys and Dolls with lyrics for the three kings at Epiphany. Some day I need to finish it, but coming up with a rhyme for Melchior isn’t trivial. My hat’s off to you!

  69. 69.

    NotMax

    TCM alert.

    Dated as all get out now, scathing in its time, Putney Swope airing Saturday at 2 a.m. Eastern time.

    Trivia: President’s limo shown briefly is one of the truly ugliest cars Detroit produced, the ’59 Chrysler Imperial.

  70. 70.

    Yarrow

    @Tony Jay:  It’s like one big circle of silence where they all protect each other through obfuscation, denial, and delay. What an utter mess.

  72. 72.

    Mary G

    One of your best.ever, SD!

    Except now I have an earworm of “Says Willow,” “Says Willow,” “Says Willow!

  74. 74.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Drdavechemist:

    Oohh, sounds like fun! What a great idea!

    I got your gold right here, the baby’s such a dear, And I’d be very much obliged if I could have a beer…

    It’s been a trip immense (that stupid border fence!), but I’m glad to be relieved of all this frankincense…

    Now this is Balthazar, he plays a mean guitar, and he kept us all on track to follow yonder star… (The star! The star! We all followed yonder star!)

    Nothing for Melchior yet.

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Timill:

    I learned that when I read the NPR story about Willow, but had already written the poem, and “Socks” is easier to rhyme than “India.”  But I sure as hell never heard a thing about a Bush cat before today.

  82. 82.

    Jeffro

    The NYT story about “trumpov coins” which sell for $0 (PLUS shipping and handling!) is just, wow, you wonder if it will ever end.  (the non-stop grifting, lying, and disinformation related to Orangemandias)

    anyway

    per dmsilev at #18…I think there’s something about modern society that is just breaking people’s brains. Information overload is moving everyone down the paranoia scale, or something, resulting in the already-paranoid going right the fuck over the edge.  “Quantum entanglement between vaccines and Google credit scores”???  What is this, psycho Mad Libs or something?

  83. 83.

    NotMax

    @>a href=”https://balloon-juice.com/2022/01/28/friday-afternoon-open-thread-slow-news-day-which-is-kind-of-a-relief/#comment-8411923″>Jeffro

    resulting in the already-paranoid going right the fuck over the edge

    Corollary to Heisenberg.

    The Certainty Unprinicpled.

    //

  84. 84.

    NotMax

    Fix.

    @Jeffro

    resulting in the already-paranoid going right the fuck over the edge

    Corollary to Heisenberg.

    The Certainty Unprinicpled.

    //

  86. 86.

    Scout211

    Some good news locally. California’s net neutrality law was upheld by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

     

    A federal appeals court has upheld California’s net neutrality law, rejecting an attempt by telecommunications industry groups to prevent the state from enforcing it.

    The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a previous ruling, which means the status quo stays and the state can continue to enforce the law. This means California can continue its ban on internet providers slowing down or blocking access to websites and applications that don’t pay for premium service.

    California’s net neutrality law was signed by former Gov. Jerry Brown in 2018. That came after regulators during the Trump administration killed federal net neutrality rules designed to prevent AT&T, Comcast, Verizon and other major internet providers from exploiting their dominance to favor certain services or apps over others.

  89. 89.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Sandia Blanca:

    How is it that no one else has mentioned that Willow is too close to the (White) House? 

    Too close?  Willow is in the (White) House.

    I fear for the White House’s water supply.

  90. 90.

    WaterGirl

    @NotMax:

    You do not need to include the entire URL when you code your manual replies.  What I show below is sufficient.  When you include the whole thing, clicking on your link results in the entire page reloading, rather than moving a person to the comment that was replied to.

    <a href=”#comment-8411923″>@Jeffro</a>

    edit: plus it’s less typing!

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