Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Come on, man.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Bark louder, little dog.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

You cannot shame the shameless.

The revolution will be supervised.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Respite Snark Open Thread: Money Can’t Buy Him Love

Respite Snark Open Thread: Money Can’t Buy Him Love

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… “I thought that if I just kept making money, I could become epic… turns out I’m not as epic as I thought I was,” Musk explained at the press conference. “Ever since I was bullied as a kid just because my dad owned a South African emerald mine during apartheid, I knew I wanted to get revenge by being the richest, coolest guy in the world. That’s why I spend my time making cool jokes and being a stonk lord on the interwebs. But people still hate me! When I saw that hilonklious meme about that blue guy on Mars, it gave me the idea to go myself. I’m tired of Earth. These people. Time to yeet myself to freaking Mars!”…

At press time, SpaceX announced they were changing course, however. According to a statement it released, the company is now working to send a spaceship to Jupiter instead of Mars, after Mars Perseverance rover sent a message to NASA of just a photo of Musk with infamous human trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell.

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  3. 3.

    Citizen Alan

    This is why I support confiscatory time top marginal rates.. I don’t even care if we use the tax revenue realized for something constructive. We can set it on fire for all I care.   I just believe as a matter of religious conviction that wealth above a certain level makes people turn into repulsive monsters while simultaneously giving them greater power to hurt the entire world.

  4. 4.

    different-church-lady

    “Ever since I was bullied as a kid just because my dad owned a South African emerald mine during apartheid, I knew I wanted to get revenge by being the richest, coolest guy in the world.

    I wasn’t even sure that was a parody at first

  5. 5.

    different-church-lady

    @Citizen Alan: ​

    wealth above a certain level makes people turn into repulsive monsters

    I suspect it might be the other way around: in our system of capitalism there’s something about being a sociopath that just makes money flow to you.

  6. 6.

    geg6

    What a fucking maroon.

    In not-exactly-respite news, my younger sister was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer.  She had a lumpectomy last week and she is Stage 2A.  Now for six months of chemo and immunotherapy followed by six weeks of radiation.  Then they will assess.  Doctors told her 5-year survival rate at her fairly young age, with an early diagnosis and this course of treatment is 80-85%.  Please send good thoughts her way.

  7. 7.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    This is the same dickhead who made an NPC meme about people supporting Ukraine about a month ago. I can’t believe people think this guy is some kind of genius or someone to admire. He’s a ridiculous person with humongous ego who loves to play the victim

    “Oh look at me, I’m such a brave truth-teller and you’re all a bunch of woke idiots. But don’t badmouth me or my companies!”

  17. 17.

    geg6

    @debbie:

    Thanks.  I don’t know why but the thought of her losing her hair is what I seem to be really upset about.  Of course I’m upset over this whole thing but I just feel so awful about that.  She has beautiful long white, white, white hair.  She went pure white in her twenties, same as my maternal grandmother, and the natural color is so beautiful that she is constantly asked who colors her hair.  She’s getting it cut short for the first time since elementary school so losing it won’t be such a shock.

  21. 21.

    Barbara

    @geg6: I am sorry to hear this.  My sister is undergoing the last treatment stage for breast cancer, which is radiation, after surgery, which was also preceded by chemotherapy.  Not sure what type she has but it must be different because she was stage 3 and still a candidate for surgery.  It sounds like your sister is in good hands.  My sis was at one of the UPMC sites.

  23. 23.

    Jay

    Joe Segal has passed.

    https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.6472805

    SWMBO worked at the SFU foundation he created and founded, until, trying to change the world, during Covid burned her out. Her co-workers, local and international will always live in my heart, because they gave us so much support, in difficult times.

    You can do good things with money, if you choose to.

  25. 25.

    CarolPW

    @geg6: So sorry, and very high hopes for a full recovery for her.

    After my first breast cancer diagnosis I decided if I had to have chemo I would cut my hair short (I could sit on the end of my braid) and have it colored purple. With white hair even a buzz cut would hold a nice pop of color. You might think about taking her to a stylist for a fuck you response to the diagnosis.

  26. 26.

    Redshift

    @geg6: You never know. My sister went through treatment several times, and only lost her hair once. (Revealing that she still had an impressive scar from the scalp injury that had traumatized me when I witnessed it as a child.)

  27. 27.

    geg6

    @Barbara:

    she has UPMC insurance and will be getting treated at the local Hillman Cancer Center here in Beaver County.  Thankfully, they said the only thing they’ll need her to go into Pittsburgh (actually, Shadyside) for is the genetic counseling.

  28. 28.

    Roger Moore

    @different-church-lady:

    I suspect it might be the other way around: in our system of capitalism there’s something about being a sociopath that just makes money flow to you.

    That might be a little strong.  There are plenty of poor sociopaths out there.  If you look at the laws around corporations, though, they’re literally required to be sociopathic; that’s the contemporary legal interpretation of corporate officers’ fiduciary duty.  It’s only natural that sociopaths would be a perfect fit for those roles.

  29. 29.

    geg6

    @Redshift:

    They already told her that the first round of chemo will be a gut punch and that she will definitely lose her hair because everyone who gets this does.  After a couple rounds of this super bad chemo, they’ll put her on some milder chemo meds that should be much less toxic, along with the immunotherapy, and she’ll get her hair back then, almost certainly.

  31. 31.

    Barbara

    @CarolPW: ​ My sister went the route of getting wigs because she didn’t want undue attention from her co-workers or clients.

  35. 35.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @geg6:

    Thankfully the cancer was caught early. UPMC is right up there with the Cleveland Clinic, so like Barbara said, it sounds like your sister is in good hands

  37. 37.

    Gvg

    @geg6: I had chemo, and it did bother me to lose my hair. I loved my hair. Of course I knew it was not that important compared to my life but it really did bother me. It was also kind of icky. Turned out nose hair and eyelashes are very useful. Without eyelashes, your eyelids stick together and it just feels icky. It’s also cold in winter not to have hair. I got a nice wig, paid for by insurance but hardly wore it. I wasn’t supposed to go out much to crowded places and I didn’t feel like it much. I wore a soft baseball type had almost all the time. Suggestions were to get several and scarves too and try different things. I was not allowed to go to crowded places like water parks or amusement parks and stay away from people. This was way before Covid, so I imagine your family will have to protect her. My parents cooked and looked after me and I felt lousy and slept a lot. My uncle had radiation and had it even worse. He was cold all the time and had trouble eating. We bought him soft blankets and hunted the stores for the hard to find weight gain food he tolerated best. In other words, you can help and the little things matter.

    Good luck to you all.

  39. 39.

    Madeleine

    @geg6: I wish your sister well. And take care yourself, too. My oldest friend was diagnosed recently, had a relatively easy recovery from surgery, but begins chemo soon.

  40. 40.

    Lapassionara

    @geg6: I have known others who have gotten this diagnosis, and they went through the treatments and are now living their best lives. Modern medicine is amazing. Please keep us posted on her progress.

  45. 45.

    Zelma

    @geg6:

    My best wishes to your sister.  I’m a two-time breast cancer survivors so I know what she’s going through.  I was treated at Magee.  UPMC does breast cancer treatment really well.

    Her hair will come back but probably a bit different texture.  I got my hair cut real short right before I was going to lose it and everyone told me how great it looked.  So now that’s how I wear my hair.

  47. 47.

    Carlo Graziani

    With the greatest possible respect to Anne, and to this thread: are Adam’s Ukraine nightly updates expected to return soon? I feel their loss very badly.

  49. 49.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @geg6:

    Best wishes and positive thoughts for your sister in her battle with cancer.

    Oh, and fuck cancer.

  51. 51.

    Carlo Graziani

    @Barbara: Thanks. I’ll check it out. I do have a number of independent sources that I draw on. But Adam’s updates, and the BJ crowd he draws in to comment, are a rare and treasured resource that I miss very much.

  53. 53.

    Squid696

    ‘@geg6: There are things called “cold caps” that cool your head during chemo so that the chemo is not absorbed into the hair follicles which will prevent hair loss. There are several services that will do this for little to no cost, like “hair to stay”.

  54. 54.

    Ohio Mom

    @geg6: For people newly diagnosed with breast cancer, I always recommend the discussion boards at breastcancer.org: https://community.breastcancer.org/
    Scroll down for threads on being newly diagnosed, chemotherapy, radiation and more.

    Lots of up-to-date, ACCURATE information, as well as helpful hints and camaraderie. Much like Balloon Juice, it’s a real community.

    There is also the other part of the site which is mostly sort of a primer on BC, but I found the threads the most helpful. I still go back sometimes to look at the lymphedema thread when my right (affected) arm is frustrating me.

  58. 58.

    a thousand flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)

    @geg6:

    All the good anti-cancer thoughts for your sister.
    And fuck cancer.

  59. 59.

    Carlo Graziani

    On Elon, I’ve always felt conflicted. He’s clearly a Prince Among Assholes. But the thing is that among the tech fraternity, most of those guys have basically built websites. At most they’ve learned to attach a logistical system to their websites, but really most of the cash comes from ads. For this, the modern business world venerates Zuckerberg, Bezos, Schmidt, etc. as if they were Gods Bestriding The Earth.

    The thing about Musk is that if you separate him from his utterly dickheaded Twitter persona, he has arguably either created or at least midwifed two actual real-world industries, one of which — the battery-electric car industry — may  make a positive contribution to the the climate-change crisis. The other one — actual profitable private space launch — is a fucking miracle, I can personally testify to after some experience as a spectator to buttheaded NASA launch procurement practice as a high-energy astrophysicist in the 1990-2000s.

    I don’t mean to absolve Musk from any of his conspicuous failings as a contemptible human being. I just want to point out that in a previous age, the US had equally contemptible human beings such as John D. Rockefeller, or Cornelius Vanderbilt, who by any cosmic code of justice surely burn in hell today, but who nevertheless left behind to the nation a useful legacy of industrial infrastructure. Similarly, Musk is not in the same category as Bezos or Zuckerberg. They are all, admittedly world-champion assholes. But Musk built a few things that will be useful when his immortal soul is cast into the Lake of Fire. Those other guys didn’t do a single fucking thing of worth in their entire fucking lives.

    And no, I am not in fact a religious person. But in these occasions I find it useful to imagine that I am.

  60. 60.

    Ann Marie

    @geg6: Good thoughts to your sister, you and the rest of your family.  There was a period at my office where three of my colleagues had breast cancer, one after the other.  It was scary at the time, but they all came out the other side and are doing very well today.  I hope the same for your sister.

  62. 62.

    prostratedragon

    The first time as tragedy, the second (or eventual) time as farce:

    Refrain
    Open are the double doors of the horizon
    Unlocked are its bolts

    Verse 1
    Clouds darken the sky
    The stars rain down
    The constellations stagger
    The bones of the hell hounds tremble
    The porters are silent
    When they see this king
    Dawning as a soul

    Refrain
    (repeat above)

    Verse 2
    Men fall
    Their name is not
    Seize thou this king by his arm
    Take this king to the sky
    That he not die on earth
    Among men

    Refrain
    (repeat above)

    Verse 3
    He flies who flies
    This king flies away from you
    Ye mortals
    He is not of the earth
    He is of the sky
    He flaps his wings like a zeret bird
    He goes to the sky
    He goes to the sky
    On the wind
    On the wind

    From pyramid writings of the Old Kingdom of Egypt, said of Amenhotep III in Akhnaten

  63. 63.

    Squid696

    ‘@geg6: There are things called cold caps that can help prevent hair loss during breast cancer chemo. There is a charity called “Hair to Stay” that can help her get one during her chemo.

  64. 64.

    RaflW

    I’ve been so disinterested in Elon that I never knew he was so f**ked up “just because my dad owned a South African emerald mine during apartheid”.

    Damn. I needed no additional reasons to not ever buy a Tesla, but this zoomed up to #1. I mean, the accident of birth is not Elon’s fault. But the whingy “just because my dad used a deeply racist, horribly exploitive system”. Just. because.

    What an absolute ass.

  65. 65.

    Dopey-o

    @Gvg: We bought him soft blankets and hunted the stores for the hard to find weight gain food he tolerated best.

    I would like to know which foods he found best.

  66. 66.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    Life is so much easier when racist shitstreaks make it painfully obvious that they’re racist shitstreaks. Unfortunately, those painfully obvious racist shitstreaks think that they can force you to treat them like paragons of virtue.

    I’d much rather be living in the world where Musk had to license the Tesla name from Atomic Robo. (A web search for “Atomic Robo” will explain that, and provide many hours of wholesome entertainment.)

  67. 67.

    opiejeanne

    @geg6: Sending good thoughts to you and your sister, and may she live to be 100 or more, if she wants.

  68. 68.

    TriassicSands

    @geg6: 

    I’m terribly sorry to hear that news. Illness, pain, and suffering are always present around us, but eventually everyone gets to experience it, whether it is one’s own or that of a loved one. I wish your sister the best possible outcome with the least possible unpleasantness along the way.

  69. 69.

    Brachiator

    @geg6:

    Coming very late in the thread, but I wanted to extend my best wishes to you and your family.

  72. 72.

    TriassicSands

    @Lapassionara: Modern medicine is amazing.

    Modern medicine can be amazing, but the US health care system is a disaster, made even worse by the pandemic, and that system can render the “amazing medicine” much less effective and sometimes dangerous.

    I could spend the rest of the night describing my struggles with this horrible system. I’ll spare you.

  80. 80.

    Geeno

    @Jay: I initially read that as the STFU Foundation and thought “Holy shit, where can I donate!”

  81. 81.

    MisterDancer

    @Carlo Graziani: Musk is not like Rockefeller or Vanderbilt. He literally bought Tesla, and his, founder status, for one. Given the stories of worker treatment, and having, myself, worked in a car plant, I think Tesla is more an initial good idea, well-funded and then run into the ground, than anything.

    Esp. given the lack of successful launches since. If Musk was the genius he says he is, then the many issues with self-driving wouldn’t be such. The reports of the all-computer consoles failing, wouldn’t happen. And the CyberTruck wouldn’t be an also-ran in the face of entities like Ford coming in, ready to eat Tesla’s lunch.

    Seriously, who’s gonna buy something that looks like that CyberTruck, when you can get a EV Truck that looks like what we all think trucks should look like?

    He does deserve a lot of credit for the ideas and funding to get SpaceX to the place it is. But rockets are a very different set of achievements; narrow, with a lot of leaning on a group of technical innovators. It is, in other words, a great place to be an asshole, but his miracle still needs to scale, and I’d argue he doesn’t show a lot of capabilities in that regard, as a businessperson.

    More crucially, Vanderbilt and esp. Rockefeller, for all their sins, also contributed to so many nonprofits without much in the way of agendas. And from that, we’re still reaping the benefits today.

    The fact that all Musk can think to do with his billions, is try to turn the good bits of Twitter into a further cesspool that would give William Randolph Hearst pause, says a lot about the key difference, in and out of business, between these older barons, and the wannabes like Musk.

  82. 82.

    J R in WV

    When I learned that Musk got his wealthy start in life from the family emerald mine [ almost certainly stolen from African natives ] it was just the cherry on top of that shit pie.
    @geg6:
    Sorry to hear of your sister’s diagnosis.

    Am sure your sister will get great treatment from U Pitt medical.

    Best wishes to you and your sister!!

    Cancer sucks!!!!!!!!​

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