Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

No one could have predicted…

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Trump makes a mockery of the legal system and cowardly judges just sit back and let him.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "Stories from the Road" / Sunday Night/Super Bowl Open Thread

Sunday Night/Super Bowl Open Thread

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Joelle and I had no intention of watching and then my mom mentioned it so we decided fuck it, we’ll watch. Obviously we are rooting for the Chiefs because of Taylor and her boyfriend. In all seriousness, I am terrified Travis Kelce is going to go milkshake duck, but I have caught a couple of the podcasts with him and his brother and I have seen the way he acts and carries himself and the way he looks at Taylor, and my general opinion of him is that he just seems like a nice himbo. He knows he’s not the brightest guy in the room, but also knows he’s the luckiest guy in country, and seems like a pretty decent kid.

At any rate, I have no idea if I am doing it right, but I marinated the lamb leg in salt, pepper, fresh rosemary and a touch of thyme, garlic, and olive oil for 72 hours, took it out, put a quick sear on it, then stuff some cloves of garlic in the fatty slits. Took it out of the dutch oven, and since I don’t have a little grate that would fit and lamb is oily is fuck, I deglazed it with some white wine and then I made a protective layer of apples and celery and a bed of mint and rosemary stems. I then put the roast and veg on top, and put it in the oven. The veg is just a couple potatoes, carrots, and onions, quartered, given a quick rub with olive oil and seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. As an extra side, I have a nice tabbouleh.

No idea if my technique is correct, but that is what we are doing.

***

Joelle has a rock garden in front, so the only real maintenance concern other than the husks from the palm trees is the pernicious weeds that grow regardless what you do, and an invasive weed called stinknet. Let’s pause for a moment. I just want to let all of you know that if you work in government or work on government websites or things like them, I want you to know that at least ONE person is out there who uses your resources. I know it can feel lonely and like no one uses them or that it is just regulations and make work putting it up. It’s not. There are people like me out there and a lot more of them than you realize. The Tempe government website is just so fucking useful. End Pause.

At any rate, you all know how I feel about roundup like, so I have been spraying it with a concoction of epsom salts, cider vinegar, dawn dish soap, and water- all things you don’t really want in your water table, but better than fucking roundup by a wide margin.

I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about the concoction before, but it works great in the few places I use it back at WV house (sidewalk cracks, etc.), but I was not sure how it would work out here. I did a couple test applications on some spots and it worked, so the last couple of days I have really been hitting it hard and the results are clear. I’m glad about that.

The point of this story is that for whatever reason, I find great peace in just walking around the yards in shorts and a t-shirt spending and hour individually spraying weeds and even occasionally taunting them. It’s basically me at peak happy. In the sun but not hot, not being fucked with, doing something mindless, and just being able to zone out and think.

***

Speaking of happiness, the other day I was driving down University Ave to pick up Joelle, and I saw two young women with ASU garb on, holding hands, and skipping down the sidewalk giggling. As I watched this and drove on by, it occurred to me that I have never been that happy about anything in my entire my life. And I am not saying I have never been in a situation where I should be that happy, just I don’t think I am constitutionally capable of being that happy. It just runs counter to centuries of German and Nordic ancestry and genetics. I mean there’s a reason the whole fucking country of Germany used to be on St. John’s Wort or probably still should be.

Sometimes when I walk by Joelle sitting on the couch reading, all curled up with blankets and pillows everywhere, and I have a similar thought- “I will never ever be that comfortable doing anything other than floating in a pool again.” Well, maybe on ketamine I might. But I’ll just never be that comfortable. It doesn’t matter how “comfortable” the furniture is, something in side me or on me is gonna hurt. And that’s ok, that’s just how it fucking is. And I will have a pool one day.

***

Trump’s NATO remarks were abhorrent, of course. He’s such a wretched, crass, transactional piece of shit. I mean Europeans already know when they deal with American businesses there is not going to be a long term relationship and that they will fight you took and nail for every fucking cent and screw you anyway they can, but at least with the American government they could have faith in longstanding relationships and assurances. All those fucking hours freezing my ass off in Germany during the end of the Cold War to watch so many of the fuckers I served with become Putin stooges. It’s fucking nuts.

I don’t want to think about it anymore. Off to watch the Super Bowl.

Reader Interactions

87Comments

  2. 2.

    billcoop4

    I have no investment in either team (since I only root for the football team from New York, the Bills) but I generally will root for the team with the cuter/hotter QB.

    That doesn’t help here since there’s a good balance for both here, but I’ll root for Mahomes who, though a God-botherer, isn’t as in one’s face about it, I gather, than Purdy.

     

    BC

  3. 3.

    Yarrow

    I find great peace in just walking around the yards in shorts and a t-shirt spending and hour individually spraying weeds and even occasionally taunting them. It’s basically me at peak happy.

    This sounds like how you talk about your dad. LOL.

  5. 5.

    karen marie

    “If three neighbors sign a petition that the neighborhood is being affected, it may be a city code violation.”

    When John mentioned the other day that he was feeding the pigeons, I was going to say that this was a possibility but I decided to keep my fucking mouf shut (for once).  A neighbor when I lived in the southern part of Scottsdale had the cops called on them multiple times because they wouldn’t stop feeding the pigeons and the number kept growing, and pigeons were shitting all over the patios of adjoining properties.

    Never feed the flying rats.

    I don’t know how big Joelle’s yard is but I’d check out native trees to plant that might attract better birds.  I live in east Mesa and there are a ton of all different kinds of birds (I have no idea what they are other than the love birds).  I love hearing all the different bird sounds when I’m out walking my dog.

  7. 7.

    wjca

    He knows he’s not the brightest guy in the room, but also knows he’s the luckiest guy in country, and seems like a pretty decent kid.

    On any football team, the brightest guys are inevitably the offensive linemen.  Ahead of the quarterbacks, not to mention everybody else.

  12. 12.

    wjca

    @Ryan: Trump is a traitorous piece of shit.

    This is a vile slander of shit everywhere.  After all, shit will at least provide fertilizer for good stuff to grow.  (See The Martian)

    TIFG is more like toxic waste.  Bad for anyone and anything that comes near him.  (With the possible exception of Putin.)

  27. 27.

    mrmoshpotato

    @wjca:

    This is a vile slander of shit everywhere. After all, shit will at least provide fertilizer for good stuff to grow.

    LOL!

    TIFG is more like toxic waste.  Bad for anyone and anything that comes near him.  (With the possible exception of Putin.)

    Dump is also traitorous toxic waste.

  29. 29.

    Brachiator

    The Niners are out playing the Chiefs.

    The commercial with J Lo, Affleck and Matt Damon was funny.

    The trailer for Shogun looked impressive, but I am not signing up for another streaming service.

  31. 31.

    Soprano2

    I decided to get an inexpensive cat fountain to see if my cat likes it. On her web site Wear Bear recommends ceramic fountains that are beautiful but cost upwards of $200. I’m not going to spend that much until I know my cat will use it!

  34. 34.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    My foray into garden chemistry is using a very weak copper solution to keep slugs and snails away from the house and garden. I think it was OSU (Oregon) that tested using a weak copper solution about 100 years ago and decided that it was ineffective because it didn’t kill. I don’t want to kill the slugs and snails, I just wanted to make certain areas of our property taste shitty. I bought two 1lb. bags of Copper Sulfate Pentahydrate (powder) on the -bay for $10 five years ago and started experimenting with it.

    It works very well and it takes very little of it to make the ground impassible for slimy creatures. I mix it at 1 level tablespoon per 1.5 gallons of water in my sprayer and a thin application wherever you need them gone. I apply it as a two foot barrier around our garden boxes during the growing season and around the foundation of the house and driveway during the rainy season. Keep off of your edibles and grass eats it right up and stays green. No more slimy trails all over the garage door and concrete! During the growing season I see slime trails in the AM where they come up to the barrier spray and slime out all over trying to find their way back out. None make it across and it’s safe for our pets as I don’t use much, I apply it in the evening and the grass is dry before they go out the next day.

    I opened the second bag of copper sulfate last spring so 1lb. of it lasted me four years. Cheap, effective and the same stuff you get for $$$$$ in the garden center in a small spray bottle. If you have a slimy critter problem I highly recommend it. One other note is that it will kill slugs and snails if you spray it directly on them.

  38. 38.

    Scout211

    Who thought up that horrid JFK, jr. ad? They should be fired.  It was atrocious.  (But I’m okay with that).

    ETA:  I see the opinion is unanimous here.

  45. 45.

    Wag

    Huh. Kennedy?   Less than convincing. I’m sure his family would like to have a word or two about that ad.

  50. 50.

    karen marie

    @Soprano2:   Yeah, and then, once your cat gets used to it, the fountain breaks, your cat refuses to drink water out of a regular bowl, becomes dehydrated and you’ve got a huge vet bill.

    Pfffft.  Don’t do it!

    Hahahaha.

  55. 55.

    Soprano2

    @karen marie: He already won’t drink from a bowl, he wants to drink from the dripping faucet. This started in the past month or so. I want to try it, if worse comes to worse I can leave a faucet dripping.

  56. 56.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Leto:

    Gonna put RFK in good company of most money spent for a zero polling average.

    I was curious, so I looked it up.

    LAS VEGAS — For the second consecutive year, the average cost of a 30-second commercial spot during the Super Bowl was reportedly $7 million.

    That doesn’t include the cost of making the ads in the first place; elaborate, star-studded commercials aren’t cheap after all.

    Dude just blew like $7 million dollars for that monstrosity, not including the production costs for the ad itself.

    ETA: The original JFK ad was great for the time, but it’s 2024, not 1960. It came across as hokey

  59. 59.

    wjca

    At half time: “Missed call.  That (SF) touchdown should have been called back for illegal man down field.”

    Hmmm.  Perhaps the fix is not in…?

  70. 70.

    karen marie

    @Soprano2:   Hahaha.  My cat is a pain in my ass about a lot of things but so far – knock on wood – drinking out of a bowl isn’t one of them.  She has a big sister in the form of my nearly ancient spaniel who shares the bowl with her, and I think the competition that engenders in the cat’s tiny mind will keep her from considering other options.

    @mrmoshpotato:  Vicarious experience of other people who’ve been down that road but also I’ve lived with cats my whole life – they’re assholes.   (But I love them dearly.)

  76. 76.

    CaseyL

    I’m only dropping into the game once in a while.  Things don’t seem to be going well for KC at all: Mahomes just threw an interception.  It’s rather startling how badly they’re playing.

    (I’m not watching mostly because I hate announcers.  Perfectly happy to follow intermittently.)

  78. 78.

    Jackie

    Here’s the RFK jr ad. And the JFK original ad. What stuck out to me (other than the sure laziness of copying his uncle’s ad) was the verse with “young enough for me.” RFK jr is no spring chicken by any means! He’s right there in age with TIFG. He’s going to get soundly ridiculed by media pundits from both sides.

    A super PAC supporting Robert F. Kennedy ran a campaign ad during the Super Bowl which was a remake of his uncle’s famous ad which ran in the 1960 presidential campaign

  86. 86.

    Sis

    You should definitely catch a replay of the Puppy Bowl if they rerun it or if it’s streaming anywhere. Laugh-out-loud funny.

  87. 87.

    Paul in KY

    Think SF was the better team, but just made too many errors: missed extra point, not running their great RB more. Settling for the FG in OT, etc. etc. Actually, if Ravens defense hadn’t imploded couple weeks ago, KC would never have made it.

    I predict from now on, in any playoff OT situation, the cointoss winner will not go first.

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