Late last night commenter lamh reached out and asked for Balloon Juice’s help:
As you know, my sister and her kids have recently left an abusive situation with her husband. I’m trying to help her as much as I can, but I can only do so much. So I decided to set up a GoFundMe to help her with safe housing and essentials.
I wanted to share the fundraiser with you and ask if you could help spread the word on BJ if it’s allowed? Or maybe forward this info to John and/or the other front pagers. Or you could send me the contact emails for other blog hosts you think might be willing to help share this, that would be amazing.
Here’s the link to the fundraiser.
I am organizing it under my social media pseudonym because my sister is afraid that her husband and or his family will find out and try to find her and the children.
Thank you so much for your ongoing support—it means a lot to me and my family right now.
Thanks,
Lamh
I know everyone is always asking for money. I also know that everything is bad right now and that part of that is the damage being purposefully done to the economy that is making everything more expensive, but if you can help out, it would be greatly appreciated.
Open thread!
Special Angel Match for Virginia (6x match is over)
RaflW
Done (chose anon since I couldn’t figure out how to show RaflW). Best wishes to your family as your sister and kids find a new path.
chrisanthemama
Thanks for letting us help. Peace to your family.
NutmegAgain
Made a modest contribution, wish it was more. Getting out of abuse and into safety is so important.
dimmsdale
done. wish it could be more. would appreciate very general updates if possible.
Adam L Silverman
Lamh just emailed me. She’s on the phone with her sister now and will check in with you all once she’s done with the call.
Madeleine
Contributed. I hope your sister finds a safe place and support.
Lamh47
First, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported and shared so far. Your kindness means more than words can express.
I’m talking with my sister today, trying to work out some details. We don’t have any family in DFW—only her husband’s side, and they’ve never been supportive. Most of our family is in NOLA. I’ve been actively looking for work in DFW for a while now. Her being alone there was a factor in that decision, along with me having lived in DFW before.
I wish she would consider going home to NOLA, but with five kids, her dislike for NOLA, and an active CPS case that means her husband has full parental rights, it’s not something she can just decide and do.
It’s a lot. I’ll post an update and thank everyone more fully once I’ve spoken to her. 🙏🏾
Madeleine
Something happened to my edit window. I wanted to say that in grad school I had dear friends, twins, whose father was violently abusive. The effect on each of them was sadly evident, and I’m afraid that one married an abuser.
lamh, your sister has made a difficult and courageous change, as you, of course, know. I hope she will stay safe and find a better life.
H.E.Wolf
@Lamh47:
Thank you so much for letting us know about your sister’s situation. May things start looking better soon! Thinking of all of you…. <3
hedgehog mobile
In.
Professor Bigfoot
In for a modest bit; wish it could be more.
kalakal
Made a modest donation, wish it were more
CaseyL
Donated.
You’re a hero for getting your sister out of that situation. I can only imagine how awful it was to watch things happen over the years. Best of wishes to your sister for building a new life!
I know of way too many people who go back to abusive relationships. If you can get her out of that city, away from that social circle, it would help. (A tall order, I know.)
Another Scott
:-(
Donated.
Hang in there lamh and family.
Best wishes,
Scott.
Mr. Bemused Senior
I’m in.
storm777
I was able to make a small donation. Best wishes to all!
CaseyL
@Lamh47: May I ask about the CPS situation that’s keeping her in DFW? If there is an abuse issue, her husband shouldn’t have any visitation rights at all, and she should be able to leave the area.
(I know it’s Texas and all; maybe that’s the whole reason right there.)
WaterGirl
@Lamh47: Donated.
I was about to ask the same question that CaseyL just raised.
mali muso
Put in a small donation in the hopes that it will add up to some help.
MagdaInBlack
Once upon a time, I left an emotionally abusive relationship. I have no children, and I had the money to do it, and still, JFC, it was hard. It fucks up your head no matter the form of abuse. My heart goes out to your sister.
Tossed in a bit because.
HeleninEire
Done. Lamh, please keep us updated. Wishing her and her children the absolute best.
Percysowner
I’m in for a small donation. I wish your sister all the best. Leaving is hard.
middlelee
Done. Good to be able to help even a little.
Lamh47
You guys are amazing! But you always have been!
From my sister:
I promise to keep you all posted on her progress.
WaterGirl
@Lamh47: Balloon Juice is kind of a family, your family is our family.
Lamh47
@CaseyL:
@WaterGirl:
hey guys. It’s a combination of things.. Texas being Texas, her husband being a MAGA idiot and unfortunately she had past trauma in NOLA during her younger years. So she avoids NOLA at all cost and only ever step foot there to see my mother or sadly for the past several years of funerals for close relatives.
So even without CPS and Tx involvement she’s steadfast against NOLA.
if I can find employment in DFW at the very least she won’t be alone there anymore
Sister Golden Bear
Donated. Wish it could be more. Sending thoughts of safety.
NeenerNeener
Donated.
CaseyL
@Lamh47:
I wasn’t thinking of her going to NOLA but to where you are in California. Though now I’m not sure you’re still in California – I know you changed jobs, but can’t remember where you’re working now.
Phylllis
Done. It shouldn’t be so damn difficult to get out of bad situations.
Joy in FL
I added a little to the GFM.
So sorry for what your sister is having to do. I’m so glad she has you to help her.
OlFroth
If I can also add, ICE raided two Pittsburgh Mexican restaurants a few days ago and took away 16 people. They also have a GoFundMe if anyone is interested. Fundraiser by Emiliano’s Mexican Restaurant : Help Emiliano’s Reopen and Support Staff
WaterGirl
@Lamh47: Not questioning the location, just questioning why / how a physically abusive person could still have full parental rights.
Can she get in legal trouble for going to the shelter and him not knowing where the kids are? If so, that’s horrendous.
lamh47
@Lamh47:
if CPS is involved, the father still has full parental rights—and honestly, it’s a tricky situation.
In Texas, when parents are married and the dad is on the birth certificate, he automatically has parental rights unless a court changes that. CPS investigating doesn’t automatically change those rights.
Also, with an open CPS case, it’s really important that everyone keeps CPS informed about where the kids are and what’s going on. Moving the kids to another state—even just for a little while—usually needs CPS’s approval to make sure everything stays coordinated and the kids remain safe. With an open CPS case, it’s important to keep them updated about where the kids are, especially if there’s a move involved—even if it’s temporary. This helps everyone stay on the same page and ensures the kids’ safety.
If the dad doesn’t agree to a move, it can be complicated legally, but it’s really about making sure decisions are made thoughtfully for the kids’ best interests.
It’s definitely not a simple situation, and right now the focus is definitely on getting her some immediate relief until she can heal from childbirth and be able to get back to work to support herself and her kids as soon as she can.
suzanne
i am super-tight for the next couple of weeks, but I will throw in some green when regular school–year paychecks start up again. I would bet she’ll have ongoing expenses.
lamh47
@CaseyL:
Ah. Gotcha…while I would love to have her and the kids in Cali…unfortunately the logistics of it and trying to get her and the 5 kids here is unattainable right now.
Besides which, I just don’t have the space and she doesn’t have the means to facilitate even a temporary move to Cali right now. I live in the Bay area and with my salary I’m able to comforably work and live, but with her having the 5 young ones and not able to actively work, Cali just isn’t a choice right now.
Also too, the same thing stands about taking the kids out of Texas during an active CPS case. It’s a very complicated process/issue.
Kristine
Added a bit.
Best wishes to your sister, and to you. Hope a job comes through for you.
scribbler
Donated. Sending strength and love to you, your sister, and her children.
WaterGirl
@lamh47: Thanks for all that info!
I was going to write to you this week to ask whatever happened with the job? Last I heard, you were strongly thinking “nope” on the current job, at least in part because of the horrible commute, and were exploring options.
suzanne
@WaterGirl:
In most states, parents have joint legal custody until a judge changes that, and in the case of abuse, there is a legal process that is required to prove and document it. Usually requires CPS, pediatricians, sometimes teachers and therapists. It is very difficult to take custody away from a parent.
KayInMD (formerly Kay (not the front-pager)), how does a cordless iron work?
Done.
The shelter I worked at in Long Beach 40+ years ago had motto: Domestic violence is a crime against the future. Because it really does wreak havoc on kids’ mental and emotional development. Best wishes to this family as they take this difficult, courageous step. It ain’t easy, but they have a whole big family pulling for them now.
lamh47
@suzanne: Hey! Anyone contribution is welcome at any time.
Hell even if just thoughts and prayers because any good vibes sent out to the ether on her behalf is good enough for me as well!
I know times are hard for folks so I never expected even what I has already been donated so far! Just a little assitance in addition to my own funds I’m contributing to her.
But my sister and I are thankful for it all!!!
LauraToo
Kindness is so important right now. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to make a difference in your sister’s life. Hugs!
WaterGirl
@suzanne:
As it should be. But I would think supervised visitation if they are investigating child abuse. And maybe they do.
WaterGirl
@KayInMD (formerly Kay (not the front-pager)), how does a cordless iron work?:
Please check out your nym before posting again. You have stray words in your nym that you need to delete before posting again.
This will keep happening until you fix your nym before posting again. :-)
WTFGhost
Good luck. I wish I was still of an age when I’d dream of providing physical security in such situations, with a pre-emptive ass kicking where needed. “Hi, you were probably earning this, but I wasn’t there to see it, so, I’m here to pay you, with interest….”
lamh47
@WaterGirl: Oh…I’m still with the current job…and yup the commute is still kicking my azz.
So even before deciding on a move to DFW and my sisters situation coming to a head, I was actively looking for new employment.
Plan now is to continue with this current job until I am able to find work and relocate to DFW. Until then, I’m sending her what I can to help with her situaion, and also trying to save what I can so than when (NOT IF, WHEN, because I’m manifesting finding the job) I find work in DFW, I can get on the good foot and get rolling as soon as feasible with the relocation.
Josie
In for $25.00. Hoping things get better.
WTFGhost
@lamh47: That’s the way community is supposed to work, pulling together for complicated and difficult situations. Abusive life is horrible, even if it’s an unwitting cycle – finally, finally, we understand you must break the cycle, not see, reconciliation before repairs are made to people’s psyches.
@LauraToo: Thank you for a lovely reminder of kindness.
WaterGirl
@lamh47: Ugh on the commute. Hoping work for you in DFW comes through.
lamh47
I just want to say, that if I didn’t respond to each of you individually, I apologize — but I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has reached out, donated, or shared the fundraiser. Your kindness and support mean more than words can express.
Please know that every message and contribution is deeply appreciated and making a real difference for my sister!
Thank you all so much.
Juju
Donated what I could.
CTlurker
In for a small donation.
KayInMD (formerly Kay (not the front-pager))
This is a test. please ignore.
mayim
I wish I could pitch in ~ extending my own GoFundMe because my car stopped working yesterday and likely needs extensive repairs [link in my nym], on top of all the other chaos in my life right now.
I have passed the link on to some people who likely can pitch in ~ I have a couple friends who grew up in less than ideal households who make a point of helping fund other women get help the way their mothers didn’t.
Prayers and strength to your sister! She’s doing the right thing, for herself and for her kids!
Torrey
Your sister is a brave woman, and I stand in admiration. Send her my best. In for a donation. (I was hoping GFM would give us some space to comment that we were from BJ, as I thought the response would be encouraging, but they didn’t.)
Lily
Absolutely. Done.
Though my sibling finally got support to leave (church leader kept telling her to stay), and though it’s nearly 30 years ago now, the ptsd continues.
Financial support was crucial to help her create ‘normalcy’ for her kids. A stable house, peaceful environment, cost of little league or other kid-centered groups. Lawyer (who required big $ upfront), cheap counseling for her and for kids, court fees, bills, getting to support group, a few specialized books and workbooks. The psych burdens were still very hard to get through to the other side.
sxjames
Donated. It’s a very difficult step to leave, but sometimes people have to do what they have to do. Tell your sister to hang in there – with the support of many folks (BJers and others, known and unknown), It *will* get better. :)
ETA: edited
Miss Bianca
Holy cow, I’m in. Wish it could be more.
cain
Best of luck to your sister. I’m not in a position to give at the moment since both my wife and I became unemployed at the same time and we just got hit with some really large bills including an 8k vet bill.
Elizabelle
On it. Much love and respect for lamh and her wonderful family. Thank you, Adam.
CaseyL
@cain: Can you update us on how Ziggy’s doing?
lowtechcyclist
My older sister and my closest friend both had to escape abusive marriages. Fortunately, my friend only had one child at the time, and my sister was childless. And they were in decent financial shape. And it was still a harrowing ordeal for each.
So I can’t imagine what it must be like for lamh’s sister right now. But I do know that if I knew about this and didn’t help out, both M. and C. would shortly be kicking my butt. So I’m in.
JCJ
I recently retired (for the most part) but have been covering one of my former colleagues when she is out of town. This will be an excellent use of the extra cash I am getting. All the best to Lamh and family
Elizabelle
Lamh’s is a modest ask. Please come back to us as the family needs more help. Especially with school right around the corner.
90% of the way there.
rodwell
Made a donation. There is a lot of abusive men in this world. lamb47 I hope your sister and her children get the life they deserved. The kindness of this place is amazing.
bjacques
Donated, under my real name. Best of luck.
NetheadJay
Sent a little. Gonna share it in some places where I know people who’ll be sympathetic.
EarthWindFire
Donated under my real name. Echoing what others have said, lahm, family steps up. Glad you let us help you and your family.
VFX Lurker
I just saw this post and made a small contribution. Wishing lamh47, her sister and the kids good fortune.
lamh47
OMG…BJ’ers!
I walked away for just an hour to talk to my sister and we’re already almost at the inital fundraising goal — and I can’t thank you all enough. 💜 Your generosity and kindness have been overwhelming, and I’m deeply grateful to each and every one of you who donated, shared, or left supportive words.
I hope to respond to every comment in the thread to say thank you personally. I’ll be leaving the GoFundMe open just a little while longer, but once I do close it, we’ll have what we need.
My sister and I truly didn’t expect much when we started this, but with your donations and what I’ve been able to add from my own finances, we now have enough to give her and her kids some comfort and stability as she works to leave this situation and heal in the safest, soundest way possible.
From the bottom of my heart — I thank you and so does my sister JJT and her kiddos: Layla, Joshua, Olivia, Emmanual and Ezra
Heidi Mom
Donated.
cain
@CaseyL:
Ziggy is fine! He finally returned home after two nights. His penis was blocked with crystals. So he couldn’t pee. Luckily we brought in time.
He is in good shape though. We are going to change his diet and add more water fountains etc. Poor guy. His sister Zoe has been hiding and we have not seen her today. She is in a bit of a mess and still has not met her brother. Hopefully she will come out of hiding soon
lamh47
@RaflW: thank you
lamh47
@chrisanthemama: thank you
lamh47
@NutmegAgain: thank you!
Glory b
@OlFroth: I wanted to add that local people around the restaurant said ICE completely trashed it and were seen loading food and equipment from the restaurant into their trucks.
lamh47
@dimmsdale: thank you!
lamh47
@Madeleine: thank you!
lamh47
@H.E.Wolf: thank you!
lamh47
@hedgehog mobile: thank you!
lamh47
@Professor Bigfoot:
thank you!
lamh47
@kalakal:
thank you!
lamh47
@CaseyL: thank you!
lamh47
@Another Scott: thank you!
lamh47
@Mr. Bemused Senior: thank you!
lamh47
@storm777: thank you!
lamh47
@WaterGirl: thank you!
lamh47
@mali muso: thank you!
lamh47
@MagdaInBlack: thank you!
lamh47
@HeleninEire: thank you!
lamh47
@Percysowner: thank you!
lamh47
@middlelee: thank you!
lamh47
@Sister Golden Bear: thank you!
lamh47
@NeenerNeener: thank you!
Elizabelle
@lamh47: the kiddos have beautiful names.
lamh47
@Phylllis: thank you!
lamh47
@Joy in FL: thank you
lamh47
@OlFroth: will do and will share the fundraising link!!
lamh47
@Kristine: Thank you!
I am actively looking…fingers crossed.
lamh47
@scribbler: thank you!
lamh47
@KayInMD (formerly Kay (not the front-pager)), how does a cordless iron work?:
thank you!
kalakal
@lamh47: Hoping for all the best for your sister, her children, and yourself.
lamh47
@LauraToo: absolutely! It takes almost nothing for folks to be kind to others when warranted.
Thank you!
lamh47
@WTFGhost: thank you!
lamh47
@Josie: thank you!
lamh47
@Juju: thank you!
lamh47
@CTlurker: thank you!
lamh47
@mayim: No worries…even thoughts and prayers are welcome…it’s all putting good things out in the ether for my sister.
BTW, Donated, I’ve had car trouble and when you are in a city like I have been in that you HAVE to drive everywhere…losing a job and having car issues can be alot!
lamh47
@Torrey: Thank you!
kalakal
@cain: Good to hear. Our Virgil had that problem about 4 years ago, since then its not reoccurred. He’s on diet food ( Royal Canin Urinary SO) and most espescially not the local tap water which is super hard
lamh47
@Lily: My sister is very religious, in fact she met her husband via church. And yeah, she has been speaking to her church pastor about what was going on but they kept saying “stay, stay”…and finally after baby Ezra (we call him “Five”) she finally had enough.
Thanks for donating!
lamh47
@sxjames: thank you!
lamh47
@Miss Bianca: thank you!
Manyakitty
Out of work right now, but I shared with my network. Please keep us posted of additional needs. Godspeed to your sister and kids.
lamh47
@cain: Sorry to hear about vet bill! Pets are just as expensive as children right.
My sister actually does have a dog. She had to leave him with neighbors for a while because when she left she couldn’t find a place that would allow her to have him with her.
She was finally able to find a place that would shelter him while she tries to get everything situated and heal.
Thank you for the good word!!
WaterGirl
@cain: Holy shit, that’s wha the surgery cost?
But Ziggy must be good because you didn’t say otherwise, right?
lamh47
@Elizabelle: thank you!
lamh47
@lowtechcyclist: Thank you so much.
I admit that my own mother had a history of being in abusive relationships. In fact my sister was a child when my last stepfather was abusing my mom. That trauma has stayed with her and of course made her current situation even worse, ya know.
Glad to hear they escaped and hopefully are doing well?
lamh47
@JCJ: Thank you so much!
lamh47
@rodwell: I am always amazed at just how kind and generous and giving the BJ “heathens” are! It’s why even with lurking I continue to stay up on the blog updates and still in contact with so many even if not directly on the blog!
Thank you for donating!
lamh47
@bjacques: Thank you so much!
la caterina
Just donated. I’m with LauraToo. Thankful for a chance to help make things a little better for a brave mom! Sending hugs.
WaterGirl
@cain: Mr. Bear is on Purina UR St/Ox and doing wonderfully.
We caught Mr. Bear’s before a full blockage, which can be so dangerous, so I’m happy to know that Ziggy made it through.
lamh47
@NetheadJay: Thank you so much for sharing the fundraiser link.
And thank you for your own donation. I am beyond grateful!
lamh47
@EarthWindFire: Thank you so much.
I do consider the BJ group fam…I have known so many of you for like a decade now right!
I can always count on the BJ crew
lamh47
@VFX Lurker:
Thank you, thank you!
lamh47
@Heidi Mom: Thank you!!!
lamh47
@Elizabelle: My sister like “old folks” names for her kids…LOL.
Only Layla isn’t named after an older family member we know…
lamh47
@Manyakitty: Thank you so much for sharing the fundraiser!
My sister and I appreciate every donation, every thought and prayer and ever share!
lamh47
@la caterina: Thank you!!
lamh47
Thank you all so much. I hope I was able to thank each and everyone of you for donated or sending thoughts and prayers or just sharing the fundraiser.
As I said, my sister and I are overwhelmed by all your generosity and caring!
If I missed anyone I apologize in advance, but I also THANK YOU!
I will definitely be keeping you all posting on how she is doing and her next steps. At least now she can go foward with some comfort and cushion as she naviagates!!!
CaseyL
@cain: I’m glad to hear it! Urinary tract issues in cats, esp. male cats, scare me silly because they can be fatal real fast. Here’s hoping the change of food helps!
(And if you need to set up a kitty for your kitty, please let us know.)
Sorry to hear Zoe is freaking out, though understandable. Is she a new addition? Or is Ziggy? Either way, a household caught up in a medical emergency is a chaotic start for a new kitty!
ETA: @lamh47: So incredibly glad we were able to help!
Mel
It’s an honor to help. What she is doing takes such strength and courage. Love to her and her little ones, and to Lamh.
bbleh
A righteous cause. Donated.
Gin & Tonic
Just got home from a long day out, catching up. Threw a few shekels in the jar, and wishing good thoughts for your sister and her kids.
lamh47
@Gin & Tonic: thx G&T!!!!
We are both overwhelmed and grateful for everyong’s generosity. My sister feels she may be able to breathe a bit freer than she has in the past few days!
lamh47
@bbleh: Thank you!
RandyD
I have lurked on this site for near 20 years. Donated to some causes but never posted. Breaking cover to say what a beautiful community. What a worthy cause. Donated with wishes for peace and healing to lamh’s family.
Timill
@mayim: You may want to consider renting a short-term substitute from FlexCar– we have one from them for the moment until we can get our cars back on the road.
zhena gogolia
@lamh47: I’m kind of tied up today, but will be contributing tomorrow afternoon. All good wishes for your sister. ETA: Just donated!
lamh47
Thank you so much @zhena gogolia:
zhena gogolia
@lamh47: We love you!
Wolvesvalley
Just put in a bit. It’s great to see the fund continuing to grow past the target. All good wishes to your sister and her family, and to you, too!
Lily
Not my call, and please excuse my thinking out loud: but I’m hoping this gfm can stay open, and reposted. Because the original request amount (though reached now) just seems so modest (that is, WAY low) . I watched my sister struggle with counting every dollar for years, with ‘just’ 2 kids, their medical, and a semi-uncontested divorce. The psychological stress relief that $ also ‘buys’ in these situations can be lifesaving for kids and parent … well, you all know that.
lamh47
@Lily: Hi Lily. I do plan to leae the GFM open for at least a couple of more days…for sure.
The inital amount was for immediate circumstances.
But I did tell my sister we could keep it open longer if she felt comfortable doing so.
Adam L Silverman
@RandyD: Comment/post as much or as little as you like. Whatever you are comfortable with.
And thanks!
lamh47
@RandyD: Thank you so much for your donation.
Lurker or not, I appreciate everyone at BJ because it’s always been a great space for lurkers and regulars!
Thank you again!
lamh47
@Wolvesvalley: thanks!
jnfr
Happy to help a bit.
lamh47
@jnfr: Thank you
Gin & Tonic
@Adam L Silverman: Thank you for helping bring this to our attention.
Avalie
Much respect to your sister for taking such a brave step for herself and her kids. Donated a bit and sending all the prayers and good wishes her way
lamh47
@Avalie: Thank you for the kind words and the donation!
Kayla Rudbek
Donated, and good luck to your sister. May she find an absolutely great divorce lawyer (unfortunately I don’t have any recommendations for her; State Bar of Texas may have a family law section; also start checking with local law schools to see if any of them have a family law clinic or recommended lawyers list).
lamh47
@Kayla Rudbek: Thx!
Will def be doing research on lawyers! She still just coming to the realization. The focus now is def on the upcoming CPS case and getting the children safe and settled for her to do what need to be done to end the marriage for good.
Chacal Charles Calthrop
Just donated. Finding a good lawyer is crucial, feel free to share here, a lot of us are lawyers or are lawyer-adjacent and can tell you if all sounds well or sounds fishy.
Kayla Rudbek
@lamh47: yep, good luck with the research for the lawyer. The court may also appoint what’s called a guardian ad litem ( or some other title, I have no idea what Texas law says on this) to be representing/looking out for the best interests of the children overall; they don’t actually take any physical custody of the children, so not a physical guardian. They’re more of a neutral party than your sister’s lawyer or your soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law’s lawyer will be, as the lawyer is going to argue for the person they’re representing in the case. The guardian ad litem is supposed to be the one speaking up for the best interests of the children overall.
lamh47
@Chacal Charles Calthrop:
@Kayla Rudbek:
I’ll def be coming to BJ to share her continued progress and that will def be needing advice and stuff when it comes to that stuff!
lamh47
@Chacal Charles Calthrop: Thank you so much for the donation!
Reverse tool order
I did not make a donation. I did make an investment now in the quality of the future, I’m sure.
Lily
@lamh47: Similarly, for my sister 2 things compelled her to get help. One was her kids. (Her oldest, teen son, began treating her like the husband did.) Two, she moved for a job and joined a different branch of the (same charismatic-type) church . The pastor there told her, ‘Leaving your abusive husband *is* allowed’ and then helped her.
Btw, she’s a super competent person, physically strong, works as a research laboratory chemist. I believe this can happen to almost anyone, contrary to some ideas. For her, it took about 20 years to break out.
ruckus
@MagdaInBlack:
You had made a decision to be in a relationship and it really didn’t work. Now working out the concept that it’s over and you have to be the one to move on is not easy. It is and seems like it was a very valuable decision – but that doesn’t make it easy.
I was a local city mental health counselor quite some time ago and this is almost never an easy concept because it’s quite often not easy to walk away, in so many ways and for many reasons. But walking away is often the best answer. At one time in many areas it was harder for women than for men, it was harder to get a good paying job and sometimes not always so easy to do. And if kids are/were involved……
But in the long run it is sometimes the best decision. And or the only one.
ruckus
@lamh47:
Done.
lamh47
@ruckus: Thank you !
lamh47
@Lily: I think it was once his behavior started affecting the children and their behavior changed the most that she realized she didn’t want that traumatic life for her kids that she went through.
Once CPS got involved because of a mandatory reporting, she realized she needed to get out for the safety and well being of not just her, but most importantly her kids.
lamh47
Ok, I don’t know if anyone is still here, but it’s time for me to prepare for bed.
I just wanted to say one final thank you to anyone who donated, gave kinds words or just shared the GFM fundraiser for my sister.
We are ending the day in a much better situation for my sister and her kids and I have you all to thank you it!
Bless you all and I will continue to keep you all updated on how my sister is doing going forward!
MTCinVA
Dear lamh47, I added a donation but GoFundMe wouldn’t work for adding a comment. As someone who has survived a similar situation, please send my prayers and blessings to your sister and please let her know that she’s taken the most important step for her kids and herself. The road ahead may not be easy, but choosing hope over fear is the first step. Your love and support for your sister and her kids is amazing too!
columbusqueen
Glad we reached the goal. Please let us know if we can do anything else.
columbusqueen
@lamh47: So Texas doesn’t have Civil protection order that would shield everyone from that abusive prick? God , I hate that bloody state.