Has the Romney campaign joined the bleedin’ choir invisible?
Is it an ex-campaign?
It ain’t over til it’s over, but Jeebus, notorious tosspot Peggy Noonan called for an intervention! Which is like receiving an offer for elocution and deportment lessons from the Honey Boo Boo clan!
I shamelessly purloined the copy for the illustrations above from Rumproast commenters HumboldtBlue and Lowkey, respectively. But I suspect you clever little wood-sprites can come up with additional rejoinders to the question: How dead is Romney’s campaign?
[X-posted at Rumproast, which is currently holding a membership registration thingie.]
jibeaux
Oh….now I want someone to make lines from that sketch into a whole gif parade about the Romney campaign.
Aimai
Love you Betty cracker. Glad to hear humboldt blue has resurfaced.
Comrade Mary
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
You need to use the Rosetta Stone to translate the campaign literature.
Doornails caper like baby goats in comparison.
Tom Levenson
How dead is the Romney campaign?
More than Generalissimo Francisco Franco
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)
Nothing ever dies. It comes back as something else. Mitt Romney’s campaign has reincarnated as a dung beetle in real time.
Fester Addams
Romney campaign dead. Conservative commentators now saying it was gay.
jeffreyw
Attempts to breathe life into the Romney campaign were stymied when the resultant dust cloud produced a sneezing fit amongst the Fox News anchors.
Fester Addams
Curiosity now searching Mars for signs Romney campaign ever alive.
Face
Dead? No. Delusional? Yup. Anyone else see Ed Gillespie on the Today Show telling Matt Lauer that, no….Obama has had a really bad week, not Romney. He went full on Bahgdad Bob on Lauer, who although possess the least brassiest set in all if the MSM, finally had to mock him for his dellusions. Good times.
gnomedad
He’s baaaaaack …
Schlemizel
GAD! I just saw Stewarts take down of bullshit mountain, The Daily Show should be given a Pulitzer for that bit of work! I may be the best piece of television journalism since Murrow died.
Mark S.
How dead is the Romney campaign?
Romney retroactively conceded two weeks ago.
Fester Addams
Romney campaign dead. Will be depicted with hologram now.
Currants
@Schlemizel: Link, pleeeeez?
gussie
Campaign HQ moved from Boston to Kolob.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I love Mitty’s Israel policy; Don’t worry, be happy! I’m enjoying watching the wheels come off of the clown car that the Republicans have become.
OT: Chuck Todd’s delivery is shittier than usual this AM. He keeps pausing and hesitating constantly, making it irritating to listen to.
MSNBC needs to find someone with Tourette’s to take his place.
Real American
Romney’s campaign is as dead as an Irish pub in Mormon country.
gussie
“We Killt That” new campaign motto.
Ash Can
Romney’s campaign is so dead that it was reincarnated as a clusterfuck last month.
Comrade Mary
The campaign us as dead as the flaming streetcar I just escaped.
Holy shit — here come the fire trucks.
R-Jud
@Comrade Mary: GIRL. Seriously? You okay?
Superking
How dead is the Romney Campaign?
It’s art is just now beginning to be appreciated.
Ash Can
@Comrade Mary: Are you sure you didn’t board Mitt Romney’s campaign bus by mistake?
Chyron HR
But Carter was up by EIGHT POINTS (in one specific cherry-picked poll) IN OCTOBER! Therefore all candidates who are ahead in the polls must lose because of the holy prophecy of Saint Reagan.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
http://crooksandliars.com/scarce/hitler-finds-out-about-romneys-secret-video
It’s really inside baseball stuff but for us inside baseball, political junkies, it’s brilliant if for nothing else then the slams on Rubin.
John PM
The Romney campaign is so dead it is now hanging out with Elvis Presley and Jim Morrison.
The Ancient Randonneur
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
As Ayn Rand.
Here is a link to the audio of a speech Paul Ryan gave to the Atlas Society, wherein Mr. Ryan unabashedly says the goal is to privatiize Social Security AND Medicare. Here is the link to a transcript of the ENTIRE speech, not just the useful parts. Couple that with the Romney hidden tape and you can stick a fork in the Senior vote. BTW did you know that during the missing two minutes of that now infamous tape, Romney told the gathered group the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa.
Ash
And I just misread your first sentence as:
Has the Romney campaign joined the bleedin’ chair invisible?
Which, I guess sort of still makes sense when talking about Romney.
Comrade Mary
@Ash Can: Hee. Am Ok. Walked away while it was still smoking and was waiting for a bus a few blocks away when two fire trucks screamed past heading in the direction of the streetcar.
What sucks about streetcars is that when one breaks down, it holds up all streetcars behind it until it’s hauled away. What sucks about subways is that if it catches on fire, it’s harder to escape.
Comrade Mary
@Ash Can: Hee. Am Ok. Walked away while it was still smoking and was waiting for a bus a few blocks away when two fire trucks screamed past heading in the direction of the streetcar.
What sucks about streetcars is that when one breaks down, it holds up all streetcars behind it until it’s hauled away. What sucks about subways is that if it catches on fire, it’s harder to escape.
Chuckles
Romney campaign so dead, its last fundraiser was a wake.
Tony J
@Superking:
Ha!
Nina
Pawlenty just quit the Romney campaign to become head lobbyist for the Financial Services Council.
He probably sees the massacre coming and wants to secure the good lobbying job while there are fewer ex-politician contenders.
The wingnut welfare system is vast, but the choicest positions go early. Expect to see more shuffling, as out-of-office politicos who had hopes of positions in the Romney administration hedge their bets
Schlemizel
@Currants:
Ask and ye shall receive:
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/09/20/chaos-on-bullshit-mountain
Although I also could have answered as GOPJesus:
seek and ye shall find
piratedan
Romney Campaign found dead on yacht, suicide not ruled out as coroner suspects hubris overdose, no signs of foul play as police continue investgation…
Waldo
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
His latest book: No Autopsy
Jerzy Russian
I seem to be losing my mind. I swear one of the comments here had a link to a video about the former leader of Germany during WWII finding out that Romney had a secret tape (it was funny as hell, and can be enjoyed with the sound off). That comment seems to have disappeared, assuming I did not imagine it to begin with.
dmsilev
No, no, the campaign is just resting.
DanG
Going on record here to say that the Mormon-bashing is kinda unseemly and counter-productive. Isn’t our side supposed to be above that sorta thing? Just my 2CP.
Joey Maloney
It’s deader than Liam Neeson’s cock is big.
Librarian
I wouldn’t start writing the obits just yet. Romney could conceivably come back from the dead, he could do unexpectedly well in the debates, anything can happen. You just know that the media is just dying to call him the “comeback kid.”
Steeplejack
@Currants:
Links downstairs.
piratedan
@Jerzy Russian: that’s comment #10, courtesy of gnomedad
quannlace
Last night on the Rachel Maddow Show , she pointed out something, Wednesday was the first time Romney’d had a scheduled campaign even t since the previous Friday. if he’s so far behind, has so much ground to catch up, shouldn’t he be working a little harder? You know, maybe having at least as many events/rallies as the President?
Comrade Mary
@Ash Can: Hee. Am Ok. Walked away while it was still smoking and was waiting for a bus a few blocks away when two fire trucks screamed past heading in the direction of the streetcar.
What sucks about streetcars is that when one breaks down, it holds up all streetcars behind it until it’s hauled away. What sucks about subways is that if it catches on fire, it’s harder to escape.
Also, too, you lose cell signal.
Steeplejack
@Jerzy Russian:
It was gnomedad at #10.
Michael
Don’t worry, Zombie Romney will just reboot the campaign, and run on a platform of decapitating the poor and eating their brains.
MattF
@Michael: Tsk. That’s what happened last week.
Jerzy Russian
@piratedan: Thanks. I am losing my shit, and the Sun is barely up. Not a good sign for a day when I will need that shit later.
Michael
@MattF: Ha! I love this election cycle.
owlbear1
How dead is Rmomey’s campaign?
Even Fox is complaining about the stink.
Cacti
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
It didn’t leave a rose at his Mom’s bedside table.
Waldo
@Cacti: Ouch!
Jerzy Russian
@Joey Maloney:
I am not aware of all internet traditions, nor do I watch TV. I looked at that webpage, but I could not find out (in the 1 minute I spent looking) where this particular meme got started. Is Neeson’s cock actually large?
c u n d gulag
How dead is Mitt’s campaign?
Deader than Bob Dole’s dick.
Gadsden Flag Burner
As dead as Joe Scarborough’s staffer.
Jerzy Russian
I can’t personally say how dead Romney’s campaign is, but I do have a joke related to death:
Question: What did Mozart say when grave robbers opened his tomb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer: Leave me alone! I am decomposing.
Currants
@Schlemizel: Thankee kindly, good sir!
gbear
I can’t certify how dead the Romney campaign is, but the last thing anyone heard it say is ‘Hey guys! Watch this!”
flukebucket
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
As dead as Andrew Breitbart still is.
danielx
Rick Perry rejected an appeal for clemency three days ago.
Cain
Anybody see this link from the New York Times? The guy is running low on funds cuz the RNC has been taking most of it for down ticket races.
http://nyti.ms/OdnqiZ
Sorry can’t be bothered to do the nice link. Basically the lied about how much money he has and Obama is out spending him.
I also heard on PBS that voter turnout will be as high as 2008 with Dems being enthusiastic about voting for the black guy.
I expect a lot of crossover votes to Gary Johnson by Paul lovers. We are doing well guys!
Linda Featheringill
@DanG:
Mormon bashing is unseemly.
Romney-bashing, on the other hand, . . .
I looked through the thread and found only that Irish-pub-in-a-Mormon-area. That refers to the prohibition of alcohol and doesn’t seem too offensive to me.
There is the “campaign is so dead that the Mormons have baptized it” in the main post. The idea of postmortem baptism, thereby changing the religion of the deceased, apparently really upsets a lot of people, although it doesn’t bother me.
Yes, Mormonism has some crazy ideas. And so does Christianity. And a bunch of the other religions.
Human beings are not rational creatures.
Edited for clarity.
FlipYrWhig
@Cacti: Dark, but I like it!
Dennis SGMM
I don’t know about dead, but I hear that they’ve called in Fred Thompson to lend it some energy.
danielx
http://wonkette.com/tag/pt-felon-explains-it-all/
James O’Keefe on the ethics of the Romney videotape.
Irony and satire are both as dead as Atlantis.
John PM
@Jerzy Russian: The Romney campaign is as dead as that joke…
Here’s another joke:
How did the Romney campaign cross the road?
stapled to the chicken…
Cacti
@Linda Featheringill:
As unseemly as when the Mormon church posthumously baptized the President’s mother?
MattF
@danielx: This crosses the line from projection into dissociation. We’ve got here O’Keefe_sub_1 and O’Keefe_sub_2, and they don’t seem to be aware of their co-existence in the same body.
The Dangerman
In haiku:
Romney soiled his bed
Not enough help from states red
He’s deader than Fred (dy Kreuger)
Ms. D. Ranged in AZ
How dead is the Romney campaign?
It’s shuffled off it’s mortal coil.
It’s pushing up daisies.
danielx
@MattF:
Self awareness has never been one of O’Keefe’s strong points. Now that I think of it, I’m trying to recall if he has any strong points.
Skippy-san
You can’t let you guard down on this election. Too many people in this country are stupid enough to believe what he says about the “moochers”-even if they are one themselves. Plus don’t underestimate the effect of corrosive little cocksuckers like Steyn, Erikson, Hinderaker and the rest of the liars club do.
I am very pessismistic. All it will take is one foreign event or blow up and Obama will be back on the defensive.
And Ryan is out there as a sleeper agent waiting to rise up and say something deadly.
The game ain’t over till its over-and OBAMA HAS TO WIN!
Linda Featheringill
@Cacti:
Obama’s mama is dead. Her fate is sealed. It doesn’t matter what people do after that fact.
I suspect you hold some beliefs close to your heart that I would find ridiculous. Do you want us to make fun of you because of those ideas?
jwb
@Cain: Yeah, saw that last night. Rumor on twitter is that SuperPac money essentially abandoned Romney at least two weeks ago in desperate effort to shore up Senate and House. In the meantime, the Senate is now leaning fairly heavily toward the Dems according to both Silver and Princeton Election Consortium, and the House is starting to break the Dems’ way as well. No complacency, I want a rout that so demoralizes the folks in the clown car that they are afraid to come out of their parents’ basements.
artem1s
RMoney’s campaign is so dead…
It’s now been acquired by Bain Capital, will be mortgaged to the hilt, all the employees fired (except the CEO and family), and all its remaining assets sold at auction on Nov. 7.
mdblanche
Tim Pawlenty is leaving the Romney campaign for a K Street position. Looks like somebody’s decided to beat the rush to the lifeboats. Just remember the last seat in Collapsible Boat C is Mitt’s.
"Fair and Balanced" Dave
How dead is Rmomey’s campaign?
George Romero’s next movie is tentatively titled “Dawn of the Romney Campaign”
Alexander Dope
How dead is the Romney campaign?
It’s just been granted martyrdom by Big[name of lefty bogeyman here].com.
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ)
@mdblanche: TPaw has a consistent early withdrawl problem. Maybe we should call him Pull and Pray Pawlentey from now on.
KG77
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
Rahm Emanuel and ACORN are registering it to vote in Chicago.
chopper
back to work, romney campaign. these fucks won’t cluster themselves.
Bobby Thomson
@Linda Featheringill: That’s intellectually incoherent. The KKK thinks their viewpoints are sanctioned by Jeebus. They can and should be mocked for that viewpoint. The First Amendment allows the free exercise of religion without state interference. It doesn’t prohibit people from objecting to objectionable conduct, such as, for example, posthumously baptizing Anne Frank into a religion that until the 1970s preached that blacks were subhuman. For that matter, good taste doesn’t give the religious a free pass to subordinate others without fear of ostracism.
tl;dr Fuck the Mormons.
TooManyJens
@quannlace:
We’re not going to be able to convince him to take personal responsibility and care about his campaign.
1badbaba3
The campaign is not dead. It has, however, been strapped to the roof of the bus.
Which might account for the bad optics, risible sound bites, and the horrible smell.
Misterpuff
How dead is RMoney’s campaign?
Deader than Paul Ryan’s eyes.
amk
My tweet (yeah, self-pimping)
chopper
@quannlace:
same thing happened last time there was a big gaffe. romney disappeared for 3 days.
guy just aint got the chops, i don’t think.
celticdragonchick
@comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
My God that was fucking brutal! That video is one to cherish for the ages.
gwangung
@jwb:
The foot is on the enemy’s throat.
STEP DOWN.
celticdragonchick
How dead is Romey’s campaign?
It just went on display at the Smithsonian…
Cassidy
How dead is Mitt’s campaign? Rumors are it’s a J.J. Abrams production.
aimai
@Linda Featheringill:
Uh… it “upsets a lot of people” because it is an asshole move? Because you don’t get to desecrate the dead by posthumously assigning to them your motives, desires, and religion? Because they’ve been asked to stop and they won’t? Because they are appropriating the names and memories of specific dead persons from a religion they despise and reject and arrogating to their own little cult the right to “own” those memories, names, and identities? Because many of those people lived and died honorably following their own course–ethnic, religious, philsophical and would have strongly resented being appropriated by some assholes from Utah with a death fetish?
aimai
celticdragonchick
@aimai:
Hey aimai
You and I have chatted back and forth for the last several years, starting when I was still known as “Republican Trans Girl” around 2006.
I got my Democratic Party registration confirmation in the mail last week. Thought you might like to know :)
unspiek
Missing, presumed dead, Romney campaign has reportedly been identified, working at a Burger King in Upper Michigan.
Ruckus
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
Not dead enough.
Linda Featheringill
@aimai: #93
I don’t think those “assholes from Utah” are as powerful as you seem to believe. They might even try to appropriate something from the deceased by their efforts will be futile.
Death is stronger than any human or group of humans.
And what about God? The Creator is defined by most religions as being omniscient and omnipotent. This divine being doesn’t need humans to assist with judgment. He doesn’t need us to riot and kill to defend His honor.
If you really believe that mere humans performing rituals in honor of a dead person really makes a difference, then the god you profess to believe in is weak, ineffectual, ignorant, easily controlled and swayed, etc. Not much of a god is he?
Schlemizel
@quannlace:
Since he has been fund raising like a con man my guess is they believe a wave of really ugly ads in the last month of the campaign will fix everything. I’m hoping they play that way & that the polls showing people are not going to change their minds are correct. Not only will he lose but he will be more hated than Boy Blunder after 8 years in office
Betty Cracker
@Linda Featheringill: I don’t think the point was that it makes a difference in any metaphysical sense but rather that it’s offensive to the survivors and besmirches the memories of the deceased.
TooManyJens
@Linda Featheringill: It’s just disrespectful of the right of the deceased to have chosen their own religious path while they were alive. Do they have some special knowledge that if the person were still alive, they would really want to convert to Mormonism, even though they didn’t when they had the opportunity? Of course not. They just don’t care what other people chose. It’s fucking arrogant.
Linda Featheringill
@Betty Cracker: #99
I don’t think they can besmirch the memory of the deceased. Anne Frank, for example, has not lost one iota of esteem because of Mormon activity.
My sympathy to the survivors and may they have peace.
Believe me, eventually the offense will fade.
Schlemizel
@Linda Featheringill:
Linda – I am recovering from a cult that included a ceremony where we ate the flesh and drank the blood of our founder. Therefore I probably shouldn’t make fun of anyones bizarre practices. But, instead, I make fun of all of them!
The physiological need to increase your membership through the ghoulish practice unauthorized, unrequested and totally insulting practice of baptizing the dead is so beyond the standards of decency, even by the norms of the other major religons of the world that it begs ridicule.
Frank: “I don’t have to take this abuse!”
Hawkeye: But Frank, you invite the abuse, it would be impolite of you not to accept it!:
les
@Linda Featheringill:
Thank you, mayor of non-sequiterville. Your statement may be true, but it doesn’t mean some god’s followers are not assholes. Your zeal to protect assholes from criticism for their dickish behavior may gain you points on some scale or other, but your arguments suck bad gas.
Ruckus
@TooManyJens:
They just don’t care what other people chose. It’s fucking arrogant.
You have defined mittshit in eleven words. His life, his beliefs, his words, his actions.
Bravo.
The Other Bob
@gussie:
FTFW!
Was this comment unseemly? Don’t care, it was funny.
Petorado
Romney’s campaign is so dead … that they’re having hearse elevators installed at all their houses.
jake the snake
@What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ):
Isn’t that the sin of Onan?
Joel
@Linda Featheringill: I’m with Elie Wiesel; the posthumous baptizing of Holocaust victims by the Mormon church is creepy, disgraceful, and ridiculous.
Felinious Wench
Mitt Romney’s campaign is so dead, Republicans refer to him as “Reaganesque.”
Big Jim Slade
The Onion has a taken a similar tack:
“Now That My Campaign Is Over, I’d Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day Saints”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/now-that-my-campaign-is-over-id-like-to-talk-to-yo,29611/
GxB
How dead is it?
So dead that the Enquirer reports its been seen working at a gas station in Montana.
Xenos
Is anyone going to put this on twitter? Good for a laff.
scav
Romney’s campaign is so dead the Faux News Chyron reads Mitt Romney (D)
HumboldtBlue
I could not give any flying fucks about the sensibilities of religious believers anywhere. The religious believers in this country and across the globe seem to think their particular brand of superstitious fuckwittery is sacred and should be free from the mockery, scorn and derision of others.
Fuck that noise. You believe nonsense and I’m gonna call out your nonsense I don’t give a fuck how much it irks, annoys, pains, rubs the wrong way or infuriates.
The Mormon church, like the fucking Catholics, the Jews, the Moslems, the Baptists, anabaptists, fundamentalists and any other fumbledick collection of human beings who value an after-life over this very real, very current life have attempted to wrap themselves in their piety cloaks as a defense against their irrationality and the very real harm they cause in societies in every corner of the world.
You don’t get a pass because you consider it sacred and you certainly don’t get a motherfucking pass when you’re part of the Mormon-motherfucking-church.
Ripley
How dead is the Romney campaign?
Nancy Grace just bumped a missing-white-girl story to cover it.
rikyrah
I think it’s funny
eyelessgame
How dead is the Romney campaign?
It’s in this picture. And it’s not Kirk, Spock, or McCoy.
GxB
@scav: Very Nice.
Gindy53
@Linda Featheringill:
I personally do not have any religious beliefs but I do respect the ones my parents and grand parents held while they were alive and find it severely offensive that anyone else would try and baptize them into another religion after they died.
WaterGirl
@eyelessgame: Too funny! I had never seen that graphic, but I loved it — we always called that person “captain expendable” at my house, ’cause you just knew that person wasn’t going to make it back.
Thoughtcrime
How dead is the Romney campaign?
It was last seen playing drums for Spinal Tap.
Edward J. Smith, Captain, RMS Titanic
Let’s see: Water in the forepeak, #1 Hold, #2 Hold, up to F Deck in the Mail Room, and Boiler Rooms 6 and 5, indicating a gash 300 feet long. She’s made 14 feet of water in the first 10 minutes after collision. Her designer informs me she can float another hour, maybe an hour and a half, and there’s room in the boats for less than half the people on board.
Romney asked to trade places with me, as my position sounded better than his. I told him to get lost – there’s no way in hell I’d trade shipwrecks with him.
LanceThruster
How dead is Romney’s campaign?
They’ve started harvesting the organs (heart not found).
brettvk
@Linda Featheringill: I’m an atheist and reality tells me dead is dead, and dead people have no preferences of nonexistent gods. Nevertheless, if I’m wrong and the god-botherers are right and a Mormon tries to postmortem induct me, I hope my revived consciousness will pull him down in the temple tank and strangle him with his soaked magical undies. Arrogant morons.
Chris
How dead is Romney’s campaign? It’s dead, Jim.
Alternate: how dead is Romney’s campaign? Oh, it’s as dead as Julius Caesar. Would you rather it was you?
pattonbt
Dead like Abe Vigado.
Oh wait, wrong old dude.
Dead like Ernest Borgnine.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
I wouldn’t say hopes for a Romney Presidency were dead, exactly, so much as less likely to revive than the Confederate States of America, the Soviet Union, and the Ottoman Empire.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
Indeed, possibly Queen Elizabeth the Second has a greater chance of becoming Head of State of the USA than Mitt Romney.
Paul in KY
Praise not the win until the win is in the bag (post 5 Nov).
This thing aint over yet.