I know South Carolina is notoriously “too small for a republic, too large for an insane asylum”, but either SC Senator Tim Scott’s newest intern is a truly dedicated performance artist or the state is even weirder than I assumed. Caity Weaver, at Gawker:
Byron Thomas, a patriotic young man from “the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina” loves flags. He loves Confederate flags, like the one he hung in his room at the University of South Carolina despite protests from other students. He loves American flags, like the ones that decorate the office of his state’s Republican United States Senator Tim Scott, where he has been an intern for eight days.
Sadly, not everyone shows flags as much love as Byron Thomas does. No one else in his office, representing the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina, even says the Pledge of Allegiance before work every day, like he does.
Byron Thomas is reaching out to change this. So he sent out an email [Wednesday] morning, inviting staff and fellow interns to a cool flag party happening every day before 9 a.m.
Good morning
My name is Byron Thomas and I’m from the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina. I intern for Republican Senator Tim Scott. I’ve had the pleasure of coming into different offices to meet the staff and interns from different states. Yes, we are all different and are working on different agendas but at the end of the day, we’re all citizens of the greatest country on earth, known as the United States of America. Now I’ve only been here for 8 days but I can tell that something is wrong, (in my opinion). We have American flags in front of every room, but I’ve never seen anyone take the time to proudly say the Pledge of Allegiance. Truly ask yourself, when was the last time you put your hand on your heart and said the Pledge of Allegiance. Now, I’m not attacking anybody because it’s your freedom and right to not say it but I’m assuming everyone that’s working up here loves this awesome country. Are we that busy that we can’t take a minute to show some pride and respect for our country? I say it every morning before I walk in because America’s always on my mind. I truly care about this country and I refuse to let this country fall. I know saying the pledge isn’t going to straighten out this economy we are in, but I believe it’s the little things that will take us far in life….
There is much more to this email, at the link. Warren Rojas at “Roll Call‘s gossip blog” went the extra mile and shared a bunch of CNN iReports from “the fiercely opinionated Byron Thomas“:
Earnest or acting, I will say this in Mr. Thomas’ favor: He’s way more professional than Tucker Carlson and his latest kiddy-act novelty Gabe Finger…
Redshirt
Young Republicans are literally the worst. Legions of Tuckers.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
To which flag does Mr. Thomas pledge allegiance?
Patricia Kayden
Lot of crazy folks in the Republican party. A Black man who supports the confederate cause. Interesting what you have to support to be a Black Republican.
Face
I’m sure they’re relieved that he’s told them where they’re from, and what country they’re living in.
Good fucking lord, does this come off as nuclear-grade Jackassholery.
Redshirt
All flags suck.
beltane
I have never seen proof that South Carolina is, in fact, too large to be an asylum. Until someone produces evidence to the contrary, I will just have to believe what my eyes tell me, which that South Carolina just happens to be an unusually large insane asylum.
Just Some Fuckhead
Surely he’s talking about the confederate flag.
Karen in GA
All the lucrative ways I could dupe these jackholes, if only I didn’t have a conscience.
Just Some Fuckhead
Are these hellions even starting staff meetings with a word of prayer?
Punchy
So he stands in the hallway and says recites this to his door?
This reads like an Onion spoof. Do we have confo that this is legit and not spoof?
beltane
@Punchy: Since the highlight of the Republican convention featured an old man yelling at an empty chair, I am not surprised to see Republican interns make it their practice to talk to doors.
peach flavored shampoo
I would not let this guy visit the Statue of Liberty, for fear he’d try to bang her.
lamh36
Ugh, I was gonna quote some pieces of the article, but I can’t even bring myself to read the bullshit again. Read it for yourselves.
Belafon
I still have trouble understanding why Christians support flag worship, though I do understand why “Christians” support it.
Shakezula
From his Twitter account
Please proceed.
cathyx
He’s another Clarence Thomas in the making.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@lamh36:
Looks like the Goons of August have reported early again.
dmsilev
Via one of Gawker’s commenters, Thomas’s Facebook account is Special:
“One of our guys used a cane to beat an old man trapped at a desk nearly to death. Oh, and he had a friend pull a pistol to keep any interfering good Samaritans at bay. Yay us!”.
themann1086
@Shakezula: There’s an oldie that never gets less offensive!
ETA: I last heard this from an Opus Dei roommate who also was thankful that his grandmother was Dutch, giving him some “noble” (or something, I forget the exact adjective) white blood [ETA2: he was Filipino, IIRC]. Stay classy, Young Republicans!
BGinCHI
This is Kenneth from 30 Rock, right?
catclub
@Punchy: Flag mezzuzahs. Karen in GA, here is your semi-scam. The best will be blessed by the chief rabbi in Israel.
Jay in Oregon
@Punchy:
I’m pretty sure this is a Dave Chappelle skit that’s gotten out of hand.
http://youtu.be/vf17W212Ps0
Teddy's Person
@dmsilev:
Why did Sumner, not Summer, get that beat down? Oh yeah, he was protesting slavery. Dumbass (the intern not you).
Shakezula
@themann1086: I’ve heard a few very obnoxious white people say slavery and centuries of racism are a small price to pay for being brought out of Darkfrica to the Enlightened States of America. This is the first time I have ever heard a black person say this.
Edit: Um, a brown person with “white blood” in him/her is really, really, really, really, damn common. Especially when you’re talking African-Americans.
Bubblegum Tate
@dmsilev:
“And all of this happened in order to preserve the enslavement of my ancestors! Isn’t that awesome?”
IowaOldLady
Have you ever seen the Big Bang episodes where Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler are making videos about flags?
Bubblegum Tate
@Shakezula:
Dude is gonna be rolling in that sweet, sweet Koch/Coors/Scaife cash.
celticdragonchick
@Redshirt:
I happen to like my Scottish flags (The St Andrews Cross national flag of Scotland and the Rampant Lion flag of the House of Stuart).
I also like my Irish tricolor flag with the Guinness Beer toucan bird kicking a soccer ball, and I like my Guilford Courthouse American battle flag that has red and blue stripes, and 7 pointed blue stars on a white field.
Teddy's Person
@IowaOldLady:
You mean: “Sheldon Cooper’s Fun with Flags” : D
dmsilev
@Shakezula: I’ve most often seen that advanced by evangelical Christians. Basically, the argument such as it is was that “sure we’re enslaving them now. But we’re saving their immortal souls. So, a net win”. Oh-so-coincidentally, that was also an argument used by the actual slaveholders and traders.
Bobby Thomson
Fuck off, asshole. You pledge allegiance while flying the flag of treason proudly? Your “allegiance” ain’t worth shit.
BGinCHI
@Redshirt: Flaggist.
themann1086
@Shakezula: Oh I’m well aware, I was just trying to paraphrase what he said as accurately as possible.
ETA @dmsilev: Hey, that’s the other reason said roommate gave!
? Martin
@Shakezula:
Well, he’s young. We were all fucking retards when we were young.
LanceThruster
@Redshirt:
I like this one.
EconWatcher
I spent some time in SC just a few years ago, and all I can say is, anyone who grew up there with a darker hue than pure white has nothing but my sympathy and will get a lot of slack from me. The racism is as heavy in the air as the summer humidity.
Who knows what this kid has been through. He’s obviously not playing with a full deck, but none of this hurts anyone, and I don’t think he’s an appropriate target for snark.
raven
But I didn’t
And I wonder why
I guess I felt like
Letting my freak flag fly
And I feel
Like I owe it
to someone
cathyx
@celticdragonchick: That’s fine, but don’t expect us to pledge our allegiances to them.
Belafon
@? Martin: So the son of the person who runs stormfront has better sense of racism than a black intern. The conservative bubble is strong and very echoy.
raven
Whoa, slapping 16 gigs of RAM in this mofo has it flyin!!!
? Martin
@? Martin: Actually, thinking a bit more, he probably has a brighter political future than anyone I can think of. He’ll be absolutely showered with money and praise by the GOP for speaking the ‘truth’ in a way that, stupefyingly, white people have been unsuccessful doing in the political sphere. We’ll see him on the ballot for congress before long.
celticdragonchick
The use of palmetto logs in the defense of Ft Sullivan in 1776 was real enough. The palmetto logs took far, far more damage and held where pine logs would have disintegrated. This was a happy accident unexpected by either side, since fortifications using these logs had never been tested in combat. Ft Sullivan was only half finished and would have been a death trap in the event of a competent British invasion. That did not come until 1780.
Even if Ft Sullivan had fallen, the British invasion of South Carolina in 1776 was bungled in every way possible and stood little chance of capturing Charleston. This cannot be said to be a huge part of the Revolutionary war.
rikyrah
We’ve had slave catchers since we arrived on these shores.
Slave catchers who hate themselves and other Black people.
Slave catchers who won’t ‘get it’ until the chair is kicked out from under them at their own lynching.
He’s a slave catching sambo of the highest order.
A real life Uncle Ruckus.
raven
I love my tuna flag!
Mnemosyne
So I walked out to my car today here in Southern California and discovered that someone had stolen the two Obama magnets off the back of it. WTF? Are there that many Republicans in the Burbank area, or are there roaming gangs of firebaggers?
Voytek Dolinsky, Dean of Students
@Shakezula:
I’ve heard heard other blacks say it before.
The first time was a Moonie who worked at the Washington Times, the other was from Evangelical (what’s the PC word for “spinster”?) fundie who always showed up at functions uninvited.
In days past, we used derogatory terms to warn other black folk that these kinds of people couldn’t be trusted, but that seems petty and unnecessary now that they out themselves with suprising aplomb.
“Just Plain Stupid” should be good enough.
raven
@Mnemosyne: youts
Amir Khalid
I see an apparently intelligent young black American man, a university student, speaking in front of a Confederate flag — one he owns and displays with pride. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much obliviousness to history in one person.
I also see how he makes a peace sign, with the palm of his hand facing himself. I expect the Britons among the Juicitariat will fall down laughing when they see this inadvertent rudeness.
hitchhiker
I’m going for performance art. And I look forward to the episode in which he manages to shame all his colleagues into standing by his side, hands over their hearts, all reciting the pledge in unison like first-graders. Will they be able to muster the proper expression of humility and reverence? Will there be kneeling involved for those not displaying proper devotion?
North Korea, look out! SC will match you, loonie for loonie.
burnspbesq
@? Martin:
I was never that retarded.
EconWatcher
@Amir Khalid:
My kids are still young, but I’m trying to teach them that putting something on the internet under your own name or picture is like tattooing it on your face: It’ll stick with you forever, and anyone you meet for the rest of your life can see it.
I wish somebody would have that talk with this kid. He’s saying some really dumb stuff, but how old is he? I said some really dumb stuff when I was 19 or 20, and I’m very glad it isn’t on the internet.
ranchandsyrup
In other carolinas news: Nike put out a tshirt for the Carolina Panthers that they had to recall for identifying the wrong carolina:
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9483519/nike-pulls-carolina-panthers-t-shirt-south-carolina-outline
Trollhattan
Here’s hoping Colbert gets hold of this demidouche.
Ben Cisco
Overseers gotta overseer.
And they gotta start training early.
gnomedad
@raven:
Watch out, the ram-grabbers are gonna outlaw anything larger than 8 gigs.
NotMax
Confusing (also conflating and equivocating) form with substance has long been endemic amongst Young Republicans.
@Mnemosyne
If it has been unusually hot and the vehicle has been parked in direct sunlight, they may just have slipped off. Heat can degrade the magnetic properties, and the motion and jouncing of driving may have been enough for small, inexpensively made magnetic items to slip or blow off somewhere along the way.
Felanius Kootea
@Amir Khalid: I had no idea that a palm inwards v sign was equivalent to “up yours” in the UK and Australia. I think it still means “peace” in the US.
Not sure whether this is a performance piece or a Clarence Thomas in the making; I guess time will tell.
Shakezula
@? Martin: This man is unique in his idiocy.
gogol's wife
@lamh36:
The comments under that story are even worse than the story.
El Caganer
This young man sounds like his wiring isn’t quite right.
peach flavored shampoo
@BGinCHI: Flaggot
Amir Khalid
@Felanius Kootea:
As I remember, George HW Bush got caught out by this in 1992 when he visited Australia — on the same international tour, incidentally, where he barfed on the Japanese PM. As Bush came out of Air Force One, some locals greeted him with a protest. Wanting to be conciliatory, he gave them the, um, peace sign.
Woodrowfan
I think he’s not quite all there, either mentally or emotionally or both..
rikyrah
Issa to Cummings at testy IRS hearing: You’re acting like a ‘little boy’
Aliyah Frumin
2:31 PM on 07/18/2013
The latest hearing on the Internal Revenue Services’ targeting of conservative groups got ugly on Thursday, with House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa accusing Democratic Rep. Elijah Cummings of acting like a “little boy.”
It started with Cummings criticizing Issa for suggesting the tax agency’s actions were being carried out at the White House. Cummings and Issa have been dueling over the matter all summer.
http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/07/18/issa-to-cummings-at-testy-irs-hearing-youre-acting-like-a-little-boy/
lamh36
@gogol’s wife: I have long since given up reading online comments to non-regulated blogs and online communities.
As I said on an earlier thread, the internet is the last refuge of anonymous cowards who want to spout disgusting racist sexist ageist whatever else crap with no real repercussions.
I make it a real point to ignore it all
gene108
@Amir Khalid:
The peace sign is palm facing outward from all the photos of 60’s protests I’ve seen.
gogol's wife
So in that great freedom-loving nation to which Snowden has fled from Obama’s jackbooted thugs, Aleksei Navalny has been sentenced to five years in prison because he poses a political threat to Putin:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/19/world/europe/russian-court-convicts-opposition-leader-aleksei-navalny.html?hp&_r=0
And did everyone see in the Times today that Benedict Cumberbatch is going to play Assange in a film? He looks ridiculous.
Chris
@Amir Khalid:
You’re assuming he’s oblivious rather than angling for wingnut welfare.
canuckistani
Fort Geek
@dmsilev: Shorter Byron Thomas: “Yay SC! First in Treason!”
Sparky
The Guardian has a hilarious article about The Daily Caller stunt complete with sarcastic strike-throughs.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/18/daily-caller-intern-white-house
JWL
This clown reminds me of the movie MASH, the scene in which Robert Duvall (as Frank Burns) is on his knees praying to God, and is asked by Donald Sutherland (Hawkeye Pierce) if he was “.. like this back home, or did you crack up over here”?
Steeplejack
@celticdragonchick:
That is one fugly flag.
Amir Khalid
@gene108:
HW was a Congressman in the 1960s. He was probably too square, then or since, to learn how to make a proper peace sign. Clearly, he still hadn’t learned by 1992.
@Chris:
“Never attribute to malice …” and so on.
celticdragonchick
@Steeplejack:
Well, I like it. So there! :)
mai naem
Does this maroon think he’s white?
Hungry Joe
@canuckistani: Where’s General Dreedle when you need him?
kc
Bless his heart.
I dunno, it is kind of refreshing to see someone from South Carolina pledging allegiance to the United States, as opposed to blathering about secession.
Kay
@lamh36:
Cohen got the facts wrong. His whole stupid thesis is based on Martin wearing some identifiable “uniform” that he hints at.
But that’s bullshit. It isn’t how he was dressed that night and it isn’t how he ordinarily dresses, looking at photos.
Cohen is lazy. He arrived at the story with an opinion and a bitter ax to grind
He read nothing about that kid, because the kid is a prop for him to finally write what he’s been thinking.
BruinKid
@Trollhattan: Part of me thinks this is a setup conceived by Colbert and his writers.
Gvg
I don’t believe that kid is real. It’s possible he is but not quite right in the head. It’ just too improbable.
hells littlest angel
It’s hard being a black Republican. Yeah, because being stupid makes everything hard.
Tehanu
@themann1086:
Bet that didn’t stop the boss from telling him to go check out that quicksand.
nineone
Jeebus, call Leonard Pinth-Garnell. They have perfected “Bad Political Theater.
I’m curious as to what he thinks he’s going to get out of this. What will his payoff be?
@peach flavored shampoo: God hates Flags?
Paul in KY
@beltane: Well done!
Dave A
Frank Collin Syndrome:
It seams like every minority group has its own particular Frank Collin who oozes up put of the sewer. For those of you who don’t remember; Frank organized and led the Nazi march through Skokie Illinois in 1977, a Jewish community with many Holocaust survivors. Latter to be hilarously parodied in the Blues Brothers movie. Well it turned out that Frank was Jewish. His surname at birth was Cohen and his father was a Holocaust survivor.
Paul in KY
@Felanius Kootea: There are pictures of Prime Minister Churchhill (during WW II) flashing it in that manner.
He probably was using it in the rude way!