Sorry folks its over, @pptsapper just won the week. | The Gettysburg Address – the Donald Trump Version https://t.co/86MnPiQxEi
— Nick Prime (@NC_Prime) March 9, 2016
Via Dan Drezner’s twitter feed, IIRC. A sample:
… Now we’ve got these people – I don’t like these people, let me tell you, they’re really awful, they said, “Hey Trump, you’ve got small hands,” and so I went after them, I really did, I sued them, and what did they do? They decided they wanted a fight and I said, “Okay, we’ll see who’s still here in a few years,” and see, we’re still here, on this battlefield. It’s a yuge battlefield, and it’s really, really, great, it’s so special. See, we’ve built this cemetery, so how big it is? It’s so special. And these guys – we’ve got the best guys – they tell me, “Hey Donald, give us someone who can lead us and we’ll beat these rebels,” and so I made things happen – it’s what I do – and boom, look, we’ve got this big, big win. These guys died winning, and I’m sure that makes their families just so, so happy, all this winning. It’s really great that we can be here to make this place special because of all the winning they did…
Kudos to the Angry Staff Officer!
scav
Gettysburg Address:
#1 Trump Towers Golden Winners Circle Ave, Gettysburg, PA, 17325.
Major Major Major Major
do they make a Vivitrol shot that lasts until November
just shoot me now
? Martin
So the Apple/FBI fight just took a turn.
The FBI has responded to Apple’s response. “Apple’s rhetoric is not only false, but also corrosive of the very institutions that are best able to safeguard our liberty and our rights.”
Apple is pissed. They held a press call and have vowed to fight. What’s most remarkable in the FBI filing is a request to seize the source code for iOS and Apple’s software signing keys. Somehow Republicans will find a way to support seizing the most valuable assets of the nations most valuable corporation. But I expect this will send shockwaves through the US tech industry. I don’t think any tech company could have imagined that the government would seek to seize their source code for something like this.
And there’s an interesting dynamic within DHS. The NSA can unlock the phone but they don’t want to help the FBI because they don’t want the technique to find its way into a court disclosure and they don’t want Apple to close up the security holes that the NSA knows about but Apple doesn’t. But some in the intelligence agencies actually seem to (correctly) believe that we have more to lose by having weak security and revealing information to foreign nations and criminals than the US Govt has to gain by accessing the information that they want. There’s not much upside benefit (mainly because we have so many other mechanisms for intelligence gathering) but a lot of downside risk.
Apple isn’t going to back down. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Apple chose to move the company overseas if they lose this case.
Jewish Steel
I see so much actual and satirical Trump prose these days that I think it is beginning to affect my style. Sad!
WarMunchkin
@? Martin:
Not finding a source on this. Massive, if that were the case.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Yay Friday. Boo insomnia.
Trump certainly has a unique rhetorical style. Let’s hope it stays unique. I would hate to see it catch on.
Anne Laurie
@Major Major Major Major: Hang in there!
You don’t want to give Trump and his fellow bastids the ‘win’ of defeating your recovery…
Elizabelle
NY Times editorial: Republican Threats and the Supreme Court
opiejeanne
It’s telling that the part of the “short-fingered vulgarian” insult that bothers Trump is the part about his finger length and not the word “vulgarian”.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@WarMunchkin: I think he’s referring to a footnote in the filing:
Keith G
Since I get up early in the morning to go to work, I listen to a stream of BBC Radio as there is little of broadcast interest on this side of the pond at 3 a.m. For two hours now the leading news story for the BBC has been the Archbishop of Canterbury’s comments regarding immigration. The second news story has been President Obama’s comments about David Cameron’s decision making in the Libya conflict.
Cermet
Good morning everyone at Balloon-Juice!
sukabi
@opiejeanne: probably doesn’t know what vulgarian means… and is too “superior” to look it up… it’s not one of his best words.
Amir Khalid
@sukabi:
If the Donald reacts at all to “vulgarian”, he’s probably thinking, “I’m American, damn it!”
BillinGlendaleCA
@Amir Khalid: The Donald says you hate us, why do you hate us Amir?
OzarkHillbilly
@? Martin: Apple leave the US? Oh, the horror! Fvck Apple with a rusty pitchfork.**
**which is only to say, if you are looking for corporate saints, Apple ain’t one of them and one would do well to start with the assumption that the only thing they care about is $$$$$$$$, and if that means fvcking you or me or anyone, better bring the vaseline, they aren’t providing it .
BillinGlendaleCA
@OzarkHillbilly: I was trying to think where Crapple would go and not face the same issues that have come up here.
Amir Khalid
@BillinGlendaleCA:
The Donald’s lying. Of course I love you guys.
opiejeanne
@Amir Khalid: I thought so. After all, we aren’t all vulgarians here.
opiejeanne
@Cermet: Good morning, and on that note I should probably get some sleep now.
OzarkHillbilly
@opiejeanne: Speak for yourself.
BillinGlendaleCA
@OzarkHillbilly: Yes, but are you short fingered?
OzarkHillbilly
@BillinGlendaleCA: I have small hands.
Mustang Bobby
Irony Meter Calibration Test: Look who’s called Ted Cruz an “inexperienced half-term Senator.” (The “half-term” bit is the money quote.)
raven
No Joe, Mika or Willie.
BillinGlendaleCA
@raven: Willie’s doing a town hall with Kasich, what’s Mika’s and Joe’s excuse.
ETA: Ah, I see, they’re off to pay respects to St. Nancy.
BillinGlendaleCA
@OzarkHillbilly: Well, me too; but I’m a dwarf.
Mustang Bobby
@BillinGlendaleCA: How are things going down in the mines of Moria? Seen any balrogs lately?
BillinGlendaleCA
@Mustang Bobby:
I’ve two sleeping here. Oh wait, they’re dogs.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mustang Bobby:
She writes every bit as coherently as she talks.
Peale
@? Martin: and all this because we need to know for sure that there weren’t three shooters. The FBI cares not one whit about the outsized effect it will have chasing what? A hypothetical? A dream?
WaterGirl
@? Martin: We have gone so far over the cliff in this country lately that it’s getting harder and harder to be shocked by anything.
But I am really shocked to see the threat that the government would seize the iOS source code and signing keys. The FBI has clearly gone round the bend if they can’t see what that looks like / sounds like / actually is.