The Washington Post is reporting that Roger Ailes is dead.
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by $8 blue check mistermix| 144 Comments
This post is in: Assholes
The Washington Post is reporting that Roger Ailes is dead.
Comments are closed.
Corner Stone
*clapping*
Elizabelle
Fuck him and the coffin he’s riding out in. Good riddance.
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
Good bye, and HA HA FUCK YOU YOU STUPID DECREPIT ASSHOLE
Elizabelle
I would LOVE to have a screenshot of Trump’s face when he learned the news of Roger’s passing. Heh heh heh.
MP
Waiting for Louise Mensch to detail how Putin was able to get to him.
m0nty
Ding-dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch
Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead
GregB
More than any American, Roger Ailes is why America sits armpit deep in this constitutional crisis.
different-church-lady
But his monster lives on.
Elizabelle
Does Trump now have to cut his European Vacation short to come home and pay tribute to dear Roger, who did more than almost anyone else (besides Uncle Rupert and Father Vladimir) to install this jackass in office?
Peale
Sadly, it looks like he went peacefully.
Betty Cracker
My only regret is that it’s too early in the day to bust out the bottle of champers I keep chilled for just such occasions.
C. Isaac
Welp, I need to figure out where he’s going to be buried.
Cuz I have a grave to piss on….
NeenerNeener
@Betty Cracker: Mimosas!
Elizabelle
NY Times still does not have any mention. It’s up on NY Daily News.
Tilda Swintons Bald Cap
@Betty Cracker: It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
zhena gogolia
@GregB:
Yes, yes, yes.
Immanentize
At the very least, Raven and I already had one hernia repair each, not that anyone is asking us to be pallbearers.
?eric
when in doubt, go with the classics: “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.”
Epicurus
“I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.” attributed to Clarence Darrow
Immanentize
@Tilda Swintons Bald Cap: ha. I always go with noon.
Epicurus
@?eric: Judging by the time stamp, great minds DO think alike.
Punchy
Somehow he kicks it the same day Chris Cornell buys the farm? Emotional whiplash.
JPL
@GregB: Yup!
Ydobon
I am so confused! Should I be feeling happier today than when I did when I heard the news of Scalia? Or else?
rikyrah
Good.
dmsilev
@Tilda Swintons Bald Cap: If it helps, it’s still 5-something (AM) here on the West Coast.
Elizabelle
@Tilda Swintons Bald Cap: It’s coming up on 3:00 p in Barcelona.
Balloon Juicers. To your corks.
Thor Heyerdahl
Just got a Bloomberg alert. Now Fox has other stories it can focus on instead of Mueller.
Corner Stone
@different-church-lady: I think it’s wounded and dying now, also too. It had been ticking along, getting weaker and traveling on only the strength of the residual hate it had created. The evil, ignorant hate is still there but it’s not able to be focused or harnessed the way it was for a decade or two.
Mike in NC
Just saw this on TV! I said, “Ailes is dead, good”. Then my wife goes, “Oh, Mike.” The only possible response: “He was an asshole”.
Pretty decent week so far.
mick mcDick
CIVILITY in this case means PRETEND SADS. altogether now: PRETEND SADS!
Bobby Thomson
Deeeeeeep state!
mistermix
Our ad service is showing me an ad about the “#1 Snack for Alzheimers” with this thread. A fitting tribute.
Tom Levenson
@different-church-lady: this.
Elizabelle
@Thor Heyerdahl: New York Times STILL doesn’t have it.
Shalimar
May he be the first of many. One downside of being the party devoted solely to billionaire kleptocrats is that so many of your most influential members are in the last years of their lives.
This is shaping up to be the worst year for the GOP in party history.
dmsilev
@Epicurus: “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Generally attributed, though without much evidence to back it up, to Mark Twain.
?eric
cant defame the dead, so release the flood gates of “tributes” from his many many many victims. good times ahead.
Sebastian
@MP:
She scooped the raid, the search&seizes happening now, and the Ryan tape.
She sure is nuts. But you might want to rethink your statement.
?eric
@Elizabelle: it does not have a funnies section, so it kinda makes sense…
Bruce K
@Ydobon: Scalia’s death opened up a possibility for better times – at least until McConnell slammed the door in Garland’s face. In Ailes’s case, the only fundamental change at this point is that he’s no longer consuming oxygen and other biological resources.
Still and all, there are some people whose greatest contribution to improving the world is leaving it.
Geeno
@mistermix: To get Alzheimer’s or to avoid it?
Just let me pre-emptively toss in a hearty “Fuck you” to any concern troll who shows up to decry taking pleasure in the death of an enemy.
Ryan
Ding dong the witch is dead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHQLQ1Rc_Js
Nicole
@Peale: He may have died suddenly, but I have no doubt that he spent the last months of his life angry and bitter. Stress kills. I think it caught up with him.
1) I find pleasure in the fact that he didn’t have time to enjoy his golden parachute.
2) I choose to hope that his financial affairs were not left in order and his family squanders a lot of it in fighting over his estate.
SiubhanDuinne
@Elizabelle:
Up now as a “Breaking News” banner. No story.
Lit3Bolt
Lex Luthor always comes back in a few issues, though.
Ryan
To go from Chris Cornell to this is two hours. All this crazy volatility these days. THANKS OBAMA!
OzarkHillbilly
@mick mcDick: Fuck that shit. It’s happy dance time all day long.
different-church-lady
@Nicole: He probably spent the entirety of his life angry and bitter.
Elizabelle
RE the news of a much better man who has just died:
Oh, please, no.
MP
@Sebastian: Yeah, but she also said Andrew Breitbart was killed by Putin so I’m thinking she leaves the reservation with some frequency.
?eric
@Nicole: speaking of golden things, the only thing that could EVER rival the blue dress in presidential lore is a golden shower video…….the question we must all ask ourselves, how many burnt offerings must we make……
HeleninEire
Another Russian operative dead mysteriously. Huh.
Ian G.
This weirdly makes up for Chris Cornell, sort of like how Kim Jong Il kicked the bucket shortly after we lost Vaclav Havel.
I wonder who I’d be willing to lose to see Trump also kick the bucket. Robert De Niro? Eddie Vedder?
HeleninEire
@Betty Cracker: 2pm here in Dublin. Permission granted, Betty.
SiubhanDuinne
@Elizabelle:
@SiubhanDuinne:
Story just posted at NYT:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/18/business/media/roger-ailes-dead.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region®ion=top-news&WT.nav=top-news
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
I guess this balances out losing Cornell. Not as satisfying as the day Rupert Murdoch’s sarcophogus finally stops opening, but I’ll take it.
Elizabelle
In news of a far better man, who passed far too early:
Billboard: Chris Cornell In Seemingly High Spirits During Soundgarden’s Final Show Before Death: Review
?eric
@Ian G.: we dont need to him to kick the bucket. he is dangerously close to going into EVERY american history book as the worst president ever, and potentially a traitor. I want him to live a long life after that!
Lurking Canadian
@mick mcDick: I am genuinely sad that he lived long enough to cause tremendous damage to the cause of decency.
BBA
Ailes founded MSNBC. Yes, really. It was called “America’s Talking” the first few years while he was there.
Nicole
@different-church-lady: Sometimes I wonder if that’s the governing philosophy of a certain kind of white man- misery loves company, so let me make everyone else unhappy, too.
Cermet
So Goebbel’s twin has finally ended his miserable (for anyone who is intelligent) existence. The sun is brighter and the world a bit cleaner.
Spanky
Already late to the thread (and haven’t read comments), but just wanted to thumbs-up the title.
And to paraphrase EFG: fuck’im
(BTW, did it involve a bathtub or a window? Or both?)
Elizabelle
Comments already released. Thank you.
RIP, Chris Cornell.
Rot in Pieces, Roger Ailes.
Nicole
@?eric: Heh. Isn’t it ridiculous that sex scandals continue to be the only effective means of getting someone out of a job in Washington? Sell out the nation to Russia, fine, but don’t do something odd with your pee pee part.
SWMBO
My husband just told me. “Good. Hell just got a new butt boy. I hope all the women in Hell make him pay for what he did in this life. For eternity.” He chuckled. This is why we’re still together. Now if Satan would see fit to collect the Kochs and Mercers, we could truly celebrate. Maybe even the Waltons. Dear God is it wrong to feel this happy over someone’s death?
schrodingers_cat
Natural causes or Putin?
Iowa Old Lady
@Betty Cracker: The cruise we were just on had champagne on the breakfast buffet. I think you need a little staycation.
Frankensteinbeck
He had already lost his power, so this is not a huge deal for me, but it does remove the possibility of Ailes hurting more people. In both individual and public life, he seemed Hell-bent on that.
Uncle Cosmo
@Elizabelle:
Minor edit for the sake of harmony with the classic joke & expression. Same sentiment.
Kay
A horrible person who hired other horrible people. They’re just bad and he was too.
Conservatives worry so much about political correctness but they don’t seem to be able to recognize and call out terrible, sleazy behavior. What won’t they do at FOX? Is there a line they won’t cross?
Corner Stone
@Peale:
The only thing that could make this news better is if he had a massive heart attack and fell on top of Hannity or Tucker and took one of them with him.
Chris
“I did not attend the funeral, but I sent some flowers and a nice note saying that I approved of it.”
“He’s in a better world. And so are all the rest of us.”
“A dead asshole is still an asshole.”
SiubhanDuinne
@SWMBO:
I would add Rupert Murdoch to your list. And Sheldon Adelson.
amk
devil: ohnoz, where do I put this scummy pos?
different-church-lady
@Ian G.: I want Trump to live long enough to see the inside of a prison cell..
Ian G.
@Elizabelle:
I saw them on the King Animal tour. Great set, mixed in a lot of obscure stuff (“Beyond the Wheel”, “Flower”) with their bigger hits. They even spotted a guy in the crowd with a sign asking to play guitar on “Outshined”, and they brought him up on stage and he played!
It sucks.
Kay
@different-church-lady:
It really must suck for the sentient Trump supporters, though. Imagine if Obama had crashed and burned in 3 months. They barely swept up the confetti and he was sinking like a stone.
LurkerNoLonger
As Bill Maher said when Jerry Falwell died: sometimes death isn’t sad.
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
@BBA: No he didn’t. “America’s Talking” was a short-lived (two years) NBC spinoff.
Shantanu Saha
Ailes dies just the day after a special counsel is appointed in the Russiagate case.
Did he truly die of “natural causes?” It would be a shame not to speculate!
m0nty
In the (paraphrased) words of President Baxter Harris: “Send flowers to his snitches and bros.”
artem1s
speaking of misogynistic pigs… I’ve been thinking that if the wingnutverse can bully the FCC into investigating Colbert over his monologue, I think it would be a good idea for all decent minded citizens to start filing complaints against Fox News and their parade of crotch shots that they subject America’s youth to during prime time every night. If Fox has finally started dealing with their serial sexual harassment issues, they should end the practice of making their female hosts bare their private parts for all the world to see. It is part of the serial sexual harassment that Ailes instituted and should be ended with him. Yes, they have dropped the ban on pants… but let’s be real, the up-skirting is still going on.
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f92/RetSignman/crotch%20shot_zpsnbpuhnqe.jpg
Elizabelle
@Uncle Cosmo: OMGosh. A Straight Dope Message Board.
And it’s still active. They’re discussing Dead Ailes right now. One of the comments.
hueyplong
The effective date for Ailes to have exited was long ago. Today’s news feels like a footnote, interesting only for the reactions of his blonde targets.
I’m probably not going to waste good alcohol on him, but the day is young, so who knows?
Ben Vernia
Old Scratch has got his own at last, hey?
Immanentize
@SWMBO: to paraphrase Max Planck:
different-church-lady
@Kay:
There is no such thing.
Immanentize
My guess is that there will now be a huge amount of Ailes’ secrets in the news.
Shantanu Saha
@BBA: Not true. MSNBC took over the cable slot of America’s Talking, but it was a fundamentally different venture. AT was supposed to be a video version of (mostly conservative) talkradio, but MSNBC (which was originally a joint venture with Microsoft) was supposed to become NBC’s 24-hour news service, in direct competition with CNN and Fox, and leveraging the presence of MSN on all Windows desktops (this was before the anti-trust suit against Microsoft for borking all browsers that competed with Internet Explorer).
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
@Shantanu Saha: Report all tips to Ms Mensch, especially once you can tie it to Putin
amk
dead aisles is actually an improvement.
Elizabelle
A tale of two frontpage blurbs:
WaPost: with pic of Ailes behind a podium:
The Vichy NY Times: pic is Ailes with his wife
different-church-lady
@Comrade Nimrod Humperdink:
Isn’t that her job?
Jeffro
@Corner Stone: @Elizabelle: @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): @zhena gogolia: (and others) SECONDED!
amk
@SWMBO: add twitler to that checkout cart.
Mike J
Odds that Trump will stand up the queen or the pope to go to Ailes’ funeral?
Just One More Canuck
Tramp the dirt down
Ruviana
@Betty Cracker: One word: Mimosas.
ETA: And I just got here and Neener Neener beat me to it. So have one for each of us.
hovercraft
Obama is working overtime, first Andrew then Scalia, who is still dead even though that only begat us Gorsuck, and now Roger. I hope they are all roasting away.
Thanks Obama.
Boatboy_srq
You should never say bad things about the dead, only good. Roger’s dead. Good.
GregB
@Immanentize:
Yep, can’t instill fear and silence now that he’s gone.
Elizabelle
@hovercraft: Any day is a good day to say “Thanks, Obama.” Wonderful man.
Mike J
@Elizabelle: I have to go up to SSP in Magnuson park today. Maybe I’ll stop in at the Sound Garden in his honor.
Elizabelle
Any statement yet from Twitler? Or does he have the vapors?
Elizabelle
@Ruviana: With brandy chasers. Celebrate!
bystander
@mick mcDick:
Then can we haz ululating and celebratory gunfire in the streets of New Jersey?
SatanicPanic
Aww that sucks about Chris Cornell. Man our generation couldn’t keep anything nice.
Ailes though… good.
GregB
@SiubhanDuinne:
Well, hes getting swept up in an Israeli political scandal.
I assume he’ll be seen walking into court with a nasal cannula and telling the judge, gosh darn it, he’s just to ill testify. In true mob fashion.
JosieJ (not Josie)
@Mike in NC:
“Speak nothing but good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.” I think it was Twain who said that, so you’re in good company!
amk
another slap in the puppet’s face from his master (and the chinese).
Miss Bianca
@Elizabelle: Wouldn’t have been able to pick out Chris Cornell in a line-up, even tho’ Soundgarden was kind of on my radar screen from “Black Hole Sun”, so I’m afraid my first thought was, “wow, the Fox Theater is back in action?” Cuz it was shuttered for many, many years.
But, sad news for his friends, family and fans. Roger Ailes, on the other hand…if there’s anyone who honestly mourns his passing, I’d be surprised.
Betty Cracker
Patricia Kayden
@Corner Stone: Man, Corner Stone. You keep it real.
Elizabelle
@Miss Bianca: I am guessing Sean Hannity might be genuinely sad. And there’s another eventual occupant for the “fuck the hearse you ride out in” contingent.
Elizabelle
@Mike J: Godspeed Chris Cornell. Sad news.
ET
I don’t wish people dead but I am not going to feign having a sad about this one.
Brachiator
Just getting my morning started, and I see the news about Roger Ailes.
So far, so good.
Iowa Old Lady
Consistent with the “asshole” category, Yglesias has a column at Vox titled “Trump isn’t a toddler–he’s a product of America’s culture of impunity for the rich.”
Miss Bianca
@Elizabelle: Anything that would make Sean Hannity weep would make me smile, I’m afraid. So, behold me grinning away…
SFAW
RIH* Roger Ailes
*RIH = Rot In Hell.
Although, I guess technically, it should be RIHYM
I’m waiting to see if Turtle gets someone to fill AIles’s SCOTUS position.
laura
@Mike J: Could you find some time to go the the Crocodile and hoist one in his memory for me?
hovercraft
@Elizabelle:
Oh he’s having vapors alright, he’s thinking that if only Hillary had won he and his pal Roger could have started their own network, be rolling in dough and constantly hectoring Hillary, instead he’s now in the WH, alone and everyone hates him, no one appreciates him, or is grateful to him for saving them from Hillary. Why doesn’t he get the respect that is his god given right, dammit.
Elizabelle
@hovercraft: He shoulda listened to Howard Stern.
If Howard is telling the truth about that. Which, I suspect, he is.
frosty
@Betty Cracker: Mimosas!!!
@NeenerNeener: Darn you to heck!
Obvious solution, shoulda known someone would get there first.
The Moar You Know
Good. I hope it hurt like hell. No apologies.
Elizabelle
@frosty: There is nothing wrong with multiple rounds of mimosas to celebrate this news, the dread Dead Ailes, and this week. The worm is turning.
Mike J
@laura: Haven’t been there for a couple of years, but I should try to get back. I just don’t see as many bands out as I used to.
wild eyed socialist
@Betty Cracker: You are a national treasure!
LurkerNoLonger
What is this died peacefully stuff? Being strangled to death by Princess Leia doesn’t sound peaceful to me.
r€nato
and there was much rejoicing
SiubhanDuinne
@Mike J:
He’s not even scheduled to see the Queen until October. That meeting was never part of this itinerary, or at least it was moved to the fall — at Trump’s request — a long time ago.
Elizabelle
@SiubhanDuinne: QE2 should delegate the meeting to Prince Philip and — what’s that? He’s retired? No more public engagements?
Donald. Will a corgi do?
Corner Stone
@Elizabelle:
Trump is so un-knowledgable about every topic he probably does not know that’s a breed of dog.
Trump: “Uh, is that like an escort? Trump likes British hospitality! Bigly!”
Elizabelle
@Corner Stone: Yes. Have him received by a corgi and forcefed haggis.
Yoda Dog
WOOHHOO!!! Fuck you, Roger Ailes. Burn in hell.
Anybody else remember how Fox Spews treated Kurt Vonnegut after he died? I never forgave them for that and it makes all this shadenfreude extra succulent right now.
Felonius Monk
The questions now in front of us are: Will the earth accept him? And, if it doesn’t, will they put him on permanent display in the lobby of Faux Nuze?
Villago Delenda Est
Good.
Next Roger up: Stone.
They’ll share a sulfur pool in Hell.
SiubhanDuinne
@Elizabelle:
With ketchup!
Death Panel Truck
We will laugh
The day that Roger dies
Even though we know it’s not right
We will dance and sing all night
Apologies to Hefner
TenguPhule
@C. Isaac: There’s going to be one hell of a long line.
TenguPhule
@?eric:
But why? Think of all the people who want to piss on his grave before its too late.
EthylEster
Pardon if someone has already mentioned this…. I just read an article at National Interest (eesh!) that stated that Fox News announced last night that not one Republican congress critter would come on to discuss/defend Trump. Maybe Ailes read that and it caused him to croak.
I’d like to think that.