After being endlessly harassed by many of you about my tendency to read Politico and link to some of the articles, I am now entering the early stages of a three-week Politico detox program. During the first week, I will allow myself to check the Politico website periodically , but each time that I do, I will have to read through the entirety of one of their so-called “Ideas” pieces.
Just to give you some idea of how effective a deterrent that can be, I am excerpting the one that I read today:
Some remain skeptical, but acknowledge a zeitgeist shift in the idea that Republicans can be smart, too. Wonkette noted, “Ryan has been considered the smartest Republican in world history” after his televised exchanges with President Barack Obama on health care.
[….]So, if prominent political analysts want to call prospective Republican presidential candidates nerds, this is a positive step for the party — even if the designations are misleading.
Ryan is tall and youthful looking, with no mannerisms of a nerd beyond a relentless intelligence. He went to Miami University of Ohio, not known as a nerd school, and was in a non-nerd fraternity — Delta Tau Delta.
Mitch Daniels, for his part, did go to Princeton. But he is funny, a work-out fanatic and owns two Harleys. He even has a cool nickname — “the Blade” — from his budget cutting proclivities as director of Office of Management and Budget.
During the second week, I am not allowed to visit the main site, but I can still read some of the blogs.
The third week — no reading of the Politico whatsoever.
I’ve loaded up my Google reader with lots of RSS feeds to get me through whenever I feel that urge to visit Politico. But I’m going to need your help too.
robertdsc
I went downtown to map out my route to the Federal courthouse today. In visiting some old haunts close to the train station, I came across this:
A true blue Kaplan Test Prep office. Naturally, I thought of you, Doug.
Lulz.
Linkmeister
Jeepers, if that excerpted article doesn’t put you off for life, I’m not sure what would.
DougJ
@robertdsc:
I may do this with Kaplan at some point, but I am not sure. As bad as their editorial page is, I think there’s enough redeeming value in their newsroom to make them net positive.
But then again, I don’t think that Politico is all bad either, and when my detox program is over, I will allow myself to read Michael Calderone’s blogs and articles, and Ben Smith’s blog (no articles, except near election times).
SiubhanDuinne
“My name is DougJ and I’m a Politicoholic.”
Hey, man, we’re here for you.
debit
What is up with the nerd thing? “He’s not a nerd, I tell you! NOT A NERD!” Jesus man, it’s okay. Without nerds we wouldn’t have the internets.
bleh
Well, as your excerpt shows you know well, you are willfully submitting to the Trial By The Inane. It is a ritual that many of us who have worked with the Villagers — as they have come to be known, although only the moniker is new — have experienced.
Ultimately I suspect that, as with many other rituals, you will find that the ritual itself is empty — that Politico, Wonkette, and so much else is a vapid wasteland — but that there was no other way to understand this, and so progress in your own development, than to submit to the degradation of it.
Peace be upon you.
Just Some Fuckhead
Are you sure this isn’t the Nifty Erotic Stories Archive?
DougJ
@bleh:
I like Wonkette.
DougJ
@Just Some Fuckhead:
I was thinking the same thing. Workout fanatic with two motorcycles who calls himself “Blade”.
That guy will never start tickling male interns.
mistermix
As long as you trust in your Higher Power, you’ll be fine.
Violet
Good luck with the detox, DougJ. Definitely challenging to take on such a task.
What happens if you accidentally click on politico, not realizing that was the link? I’ve made that mistake occasionally. I just close the tab, since I’ve established my No Politico policy.
MikeJ
@robertdsc: You had to map out a route to the courthouse? They usually provide a ride for me.
As for Wonkette, at least it has no pretensions of being a news site. At its best it punctures pomposity. At its worst it just proves the old saying that DC is Hollywood for ugly people. It does what it says on the tin, you can’t really be disappointed with the lack of depth.
Mark S.
Riiiiiiiight.
Delia
And Politico takes this seriously? I thought Wonkette was world headquarters for snark.
robertdsc
@MikeJ:
My car isn’t totally dialed in in terms of being able to drive every day so I had to set up a route using public transportation. I’ve used the Metro Rail system extensively so I took a trip downtown today to scout things out and get a feel for how long it would take.
Gotta prepare and get it set so I can be there on time and ready to go.
As for Politico, I don’t bother because of the hackery. They’re on my politics bookmark list but I don’t visit. I only visit Kaplan for Ezra on occasion.
JBerardi
Ohhhh, a zeitgeist shift. Whoever wrote this MUST know what they’re talking about!
Calming Influence
This “tapering off” approach to addiction is demonstrable bullshit and will only lead to a more painful withdrawal in the future. We need to get you fitted with a high-voltage shock collar.
kth
If you want to know who else besides Paul Ryan was a “Delt”, see their Famous Alums page. On the one hand, Bill Richardson, David Schwimmer from Friends, MSNBC’s Dan Abrams, so, not exactly the alpha male frat here.
On the other, Peter Buck of R.E.M. Coulda knocked me over with a feather.
SenyorDave
I want the GOP to push the Ryan plan. It is a serious plan, but my understanding is that there is one group that will be worse off: the middle class. The big beneficiaries: people making $500k+.
Everyone will pay less taxes, but most middle class programs will be cut drastically. Privatize social security (that would have worked at well the last few years, right), a voucher system for medicare).
Almost every flat tax or even major tax system change seems to have these two effects, hurt middle class and help the wealthy.
Jim Newell
Ha ha. I had no idea I was “acknowledging a zeitgeist shift in the idea that Republicans can be smart, too.” I thought I was mocking a Politico article from the future! Well, everybody wins.
PeakVT
Ryan is tall and youthful looking
But is he sun-chapped?
Omnes Omnibus
@kth: I’m just glad to know Politico considers my fraternity to be non-nerd.
Also add in John Elway and Jim Plunkett.
mistermix
@PeakVT: No, but I’d still have a beer with him.
Mark S.
People thought Ike was dumb? I seriously doubt that (commanding the allied forces in Europe took some brains). And I’ve never heard anyone say Bush I was dumb. Out of touch, bad public speaker, but not dumb.
Pretty much everyone who wasn’t a 28%-er did, however, think Bush was dumb, and a quote from Rove lying about how many books Bush read didn’t dispel this notion.
Just Some Fuckhead
Politico makes it sound like Mitch is the dom and Ryan is the sub but when I google ’em, it looks the other way around.
Shalimar
What in the world is “relentless intelligence”? He refuses to let go of a problem until he can figure out what Ayn Rand would do to solve it? Isn’t the answer always “screw a younger subordinate even though he is disgusted by the thought of her”?
MikeJ
@robertdsc: The “they provide transport for me” was a joke, implying that I would not be visiting the courthouse as an attorney, but rather as a client.
@kth:
Does he have anything to do with the re-opened Croc or did they sell off when it closed? (And is anybody else going to see the Posies there?)
Ash Can
@Delia:
@Jim Newell:
Exactly. I read that excerpt and thought, “Wait, did that ninny just take that quote seriously?”
MattR
@Ash Can: Exactly, also. For those who did not click through Jim Newell’s comment to the original Wonkette article, here is the paragraph that Politico is excerpting.
jl
@Ash Can:
Um… yeah… that is weird.
Let me get this straight. Some writer at Politico read a Wonkette post that said that Ryan was the smartest Republican in world history, and took it seriously, even as zeitgeist gestalt, and wrote it down as serious evidence for something or other on a Politico post, for the whole country to see?
Izzat right? Really?
We are into Borges territory, folks.
or this is DougJ spoofing himself.
I guess they will let us know the next time Wonkette calls somebody a ‘galazy devouring money-demon death pig’ or some such thing.
Edit: I think it is DougJ spoofing himself. The no-link policy is a ruse, that allows him to mess with our heads. DougJ is a galaxy devouring money-demon death pig!
mr. whipple
One day at a time, dood.
Bruce Webb
Doug try the Two Step Program. Which is a lot easier than giving up addiction.
Read the Ryan Roadmap. Apply critical thinking. Unless that effort launches you into a life theatening hic-kup deal in sheer amusement you are done. Otherwise breathe in a paper bag.
But mostly steps one and two are sufficient.
jl
@MattR: thanks. I was wrong. Wonkette was obviously dead serious and an excellent source for conventional wisdom among the corporate money-demon power death pigs, such as write at Politico. My bad. Sorry.
Mark S.
@SenyorDave:
It’s actually much worse than that, if these estimates are accurate. It seems that everyone’s income taxes go down, but there’s a new sales tax that’s of course regressive as hell.
Delia
@MattR:
Wait, wait. . . . There must have been some ghastly mistake. The intertubes must have crossed somewhere in the ether. Surely that Politico article was meant for publication in The Onion. Nobody can be that dense.
jl
Cold Turkey, that is the way to go.
Among the things I would do before I even thought, as standard operating procedure, of looking at Politico:
jump into a vat of boiling oil
eat random pet or other unclaimed shit on the sidewalk
bang my head with the wrong side of claw hammer
see how hard it would be to break my own leg with a large bookend or other heavy metal dingbat-like object
gbear
Jeez, could anyone look less butch on a harley than Mitch Daniels?
Svensker
@Shalimar:
LOL
gbear
Oh man, this photo is even worse. He could make a Vespa look uncool.
Loneoak
I haven’t visited or clicked through to Kaplan Daily (except Ezra) or Politico in over a month, having gone cold turkey from a multiple clicks a day habit. I do feel some measurable degree happier and saner. Beltway chatter is just too toxic for right-thinking people to dabble in. I figure if it’s important then TPM, HuffPo, Wonkette, Klein, or Yglesias will probably fill me in.
L Boom
@gbear: Is it just me or is Daniels wearing an equestrian helmet? I can’t even tell anymore: would jodphurs make him look more or less butch?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
he belonged to a “non-nerd fraternity”? Wow. If that doesn’t announce someone who’s reliving his own (disappointing) college days, I’ll eat my hat. Like when short, dumpy, pig-eyed Rove called Obama the cool guy at the country club, with a martini in his hand and a hot blonde on his arm.
Brian J
I don’t read that site regularly, except for Michael Calderone’s media blog, which has good links. There’s the occasional decent piece, like the one about Michael Steele wasting valuable money that could be spent on tight races, but a lot of it seems like garbage. So you’re life will probably be better as a result. Huzzah!
Jim Newell
@MattR: POLITICO EDIT:
“Wonkette noted, ‘Ryan has been considered the smartest Republican in world history,’ but disagrees and instead confers that title to Jonah Goldberg, the ‘skid mark’ whom they consider to be at least 100 times smarter than Paul Ryan.”
NEVERMIND — TOO LABORED.
Corner Stone
@Calming Influence:
Stat baby, stat.
PsiFighter37
At my university, DTD is definitely a nerd fraternity.
J Edgar
Take a sharp knife and write “The Blade” on … (well, wherever cutters prefer to put words) and whenever you get any urges, just look at that, or run your finger over it, or something. Lick it.
mr. whipple
I always figured if you were a frat boy you were more of a dork.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@MattR: Wow. I assume that Wonkette, like politico, has its reader-base in DC. So when the Wonketteers link to and mock this really shitty job of reportage, as I imagine they will (‘we did in fact say Paul Ryan was smarter than a skidmark’), whoever wrote this is gonna look pretty stupid, right? in front of the peopel who matter to him (still don’t know who wrote it, but I have hard time imagining a woman writing that shit about the cool fraternity and the Harleys. Not even MoDo. Maybe K-Lo, but that’s a whole ‘nother bucket of worms.
jcricket
@SenyorDave:
It’s even better that that – Massive tax cuts for the rich, tax increases for everyone else, and the destruction of Social Security, Medicare (to say the least). But wait, there’s more. It’s also doesn’t cut the deficit/balance the budget for like 70 years.
I absolutely support the GOP grabbing onto this plan.
Robin
There was I thinking that you read Politico so that I don’t have to! How will I know what insanities &/or inanities are flavor of the moment if you follow through with this scheme Doug?
phillygirl
Fastest detox method is a quick look at the comments on any Politico article on any subject. This will tip you off to the fact that most of its reading (make that “reading”) audience appears to be institutionalized. You will be appalled at yourself for even knowing of Politico’s existence.
dmsilev
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I remember that, and remember thinking “Rove thinks Obama is James Bond?” Someone should have reminded Karl that he’d do pretty well as a Bondian villain’s henchman, and that the henchman usually dies about 20 minutes before the end of the film.
-dms
Grumpy Old Man
Congratulations! I quit Politico a while back because I kept getting sick when I got to the comments section.
Next step, quit HuffPost (if you haven’t already) – it took me longer to finally delete it from my ‘blog’ list.
I am recovering but I no longer even take links to either now.
Brian J
@SenyorDave:
I wouldn’t mind them pushing this plan if I had more confidence that it would be reported for what it was: an attempt to massively redistribute wealth upwards. I fear it will instead be reported that’s, well…not that. It will probably take a similar path to the Bush tax cuts: they’ll make a series of false or highly misleading claims, we’ll push back until they begin to agree that they are not what they are but claim that it doesn’t matter for one reason or another, and anyone who isn’t already highly interested will stop paying attention.
gbear
@phillygirl:
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Max
Here’s some substitute reading..
HCR Reconciliation bill posted.
http://budget.house.gov/PRArticle.aspx?NewsID=1751
Sly
If you didn’t know the source of the article, it was really “zeitgeist shift” that gave it away. Any major news site probably would have taken Wonkette’s sarcasm literally. The Fix, TNR, Swampland, etc. “Even the Liberal Wonkette thinks that Paul Ryan has teh smarts!”
But only two entities are capable of being simultaneously that pretentious and belligerently stupid: Politico and Tom Friedman. But it isn’t quite pretentious enough to be the Moustache… so… process of elimination.
Mike
Thanks. That was the funniest post I’ve read in quite a while.
Still chuckling over “he even has a cool nickname -‘the Blade'”.
jibeaux
I have a tech question that should be pretty basic but I’d like to request no mocking. I need to monitor my school system’s website because they have recently been taken over by an evil board majority that wants to take us back to 1953 or New Jersey or both, and one of these days they are going to post an online signup for public commentary on Mar. 23. It is going to be extremely competitive to sign up because folks are PISSED. Therefore, I need a notification as soon as they’ve made this change to their website. Is this what I need an RSS feed for, do they work for any website, are they free, which one should I get, am I barking up the wrong tree, etc. Many thanks.
Brian J
@Grumpy Old Man:
What’s the problem with THP?
Nellcote
DougJ, I appreciate that you go undercover to survey the “general stupidity” on Politico and report back to us. I just don’t think you need to reward them with a link.
Sly
@Max:
Title II, Subtitle B is going to make the next week very, very, very interesting.
It basically looks like the plan Schumer put forward in the Finance Committee. The one on which Baucus, Conrad, and Lincoln voted no but, unlike the Rockefeller version, had the votes of Bill Nelson and Tom Carper.
Laertes
@Mark S.:
And I’ve never heard anyone say Bush I was dumb. Out of touch, bad public speaker, but not dumb.
I second that, in every particular. Bush I was obviously a sharp guy. He’d been a Navy combat pilot, Ambassador to the UN, effectively Ambassador to China, and the head of the goddamn CIA. This is not the resume of some big-shot pol’s idiot nephew.
I remember voting for him in 88 and against him in 92, and at no point did I, nor anyone I knew, think he was stupid. His handling of Gulf War I seemed solid at the time, and I dare say it looks even better today with the benefit of hindsight.
MikeJ
@jibeaux: On a unix I’d cron wget to grab the page once an hour, pipe it through diff and email myself the results. Something like that must be possible on other platforms.
Nellcote
@Brian J:
Their truthiness optional policy? Their hysterical headlines? The tabloid celebrity crap? The extreme unbalance of noise-to-signal?
jibeaux
there’s a reason I keep telling you guys I’m a moran at this stuff. I once tried to get help with my video player and provided some information from the back of my monitor. That’s the level we’re looking at here.
DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)
@Delia:
No shit. Now if he had quoted someone from The Onion…
robertdsc
@Brian J:
Two issues for me:
1) They consistently distort headlines
2) The front page has a tendency to let the trashy side of the house (read: the entertainment page) creep in. You could have a big political story on the top and lower down a story like this: “PHOTOS: Amanda Seyfried Dons Lace Body Stocking”.
It makes for a suspect product at times.
Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill
@jibeaux: Google Reader will now do notices of chances to any website, not just ones w/RSS. There are other site that’ll do similar, and that a suitable search on something like “website notifications” or the like’ll find.
Rick Taylor
Wonkette’s complete quote is below. They’re not exactly acquainted with the art of sarcasm over at Politico, are they. . .
__
Rick Taylor
Actually the rest of the quote is even funnier and more cutting; go read it all.
Woodrow "asim" Jarvis Hill
@robertdsc: I’m esp. underlining your Number 2. Frankly, they have turned to the tabloid side, with horrifically overreaching headlines and breathless editorials. Reading the political coverage on HuffPo — even when I agree! — has, over the last year, made my skin crawl more and more, and the sense of “we’re here to make trouble” just makes me want to avoid them like the plague.
But it’s the constant run of “sexy” photos and Star-level articles that really cemented my avoidance of that site.
Ash Can
@Jim Newell: Oh, come on. They did not. Did they?
Brick Oven Bill
Who funds Politico? Who funds Balloon Juice?
Oh wait, never mind.
Chuck Butcher
Mitch wouldn’t get elected with this look. But then neither did I…
IndyLib
@gbear:
Jeebus, what a waste of a beautiful Harley.
asiangrrlMN
@Chuck Butcher: I would trust that look more than I would trust Mitch Daniels’ look.
@gbear: Dolly Parton would look more butch than that!
DougJ, if you tell me where you live, I will gladly go punch you in the neck every time you break your three-week program. That would be the stick approach.
gbear
@asiangrrlMN:
AsiangrrlMN, I checked out my vet’s website and they have a picture of the tattooed assistant. Third photo down.
Joshua Norton
Apparently, someone at Politico doesn’t realize that “Wonkette” is one never-ending SNL skit. Quote it at your own risk. Maybe they should check out “Jesus General” while they’re at it.
CalD
Good luck with your detox, John. You’re doing the right thing. If you make it through two months you’ll wonder what you ever saw in it.
asiangrrlMN
@gbear: Suh-weeeeeet! I love that they include Barney the Cat on the staff page.
gbear
@asiangrrlMN:
Barney is always hanging out behind or on the front desk. He’s a cutie.
asiangrrlMN
@gbear: I just read her bio. It’s a girl! She’s a doll-baby.
Brian J
@robertdsc:
I don’t know what goes into making the headlines or how they are arranged, but you do raise good points. Still, on the whole, I think it does more good than harm. It doesn’t have the annoying tendency to do false contrarianism, for instance.
My biggest problem is with the layout. It’s beyond cluttered. I get that it’s an aggregator, but still, it’s becoming a professional operation as it hires real journalists and people with actual expertise.
Glidwrith
@Max: Thanks for the link – ran a quick check and public option is in there (with the added snarkiness of “It is the sense of the House that those that vote for the public option have to give up their fed benefits”); or words to that effect Sec 227
MTiffany
If in your withdrawal period the urge to read Bullshitico becomes overwhelming, you could always smoke a combo of crack and meth instead. While smoking trailmix won’t kill nearly as many brain cells as reading Bullshitico will, it will still leave you almost as coherent and grounded in reality.
Jim Newell
@Glidwrith: Not the reconciliation bill. This is a committee bill passed before the October 15 2009 reconciliation deadline, so it will serve as a vehicle for the rec bill. They’ll whittle this one down in the rules committee, in the next couple of days, to what they want. I wouldn’t expect anything in the least bit surprising — they don’t want to recalibrate the whip count at the last minute.
DougJ
I quit HuffPost a long time ago FWIW.
Glidwrith
@Jim Newell: Shit, so much for my little bubble of happy feeling………
bago
As a wonkette operative of fleeting internet fame, I am most amused at the choice of wonkette for the subject of an “even the liberal _ _ _ _*****” sentence construction.
bago
Another thing, after Cocktober, Blowvember, and Dickcember, what do you do for Massa in March??
Uriel
@Jim Newell:
Oh, bullshit. You knew exactly what you were doing. We’re not falling for your “look how cute and irreverent I am” tripe this time- VILLAGER!
(Just so you know, I’m making that whole Donald Sutherland in Body Snatchers face as I type this. Obviously, you can’t see that, but I feel like it’s important that you are aware of the fact so you can see just how truly outraged and horrified I am. And how very seriously you should take that.)
fimo
I’d soured on Politico during the 2008 elections, and read them less and less in 2009. The final straw was the ridiculous association between Roman Polanski & donors to the Dems. I quit Politico cold turkey, deleted their link from my favourites, and refuse to read them at all. I still get annoyed when I mistakenly click on a link to a Politico article, and will just close the page without reading.
Shalimar
The author:
Which explains the blowjobby tone, though not why Politico would publish it.
Napoleon
Jesus is that piece from the Politico terrible.
By the way, at least when I went to school Miami of Ohio was considered the toughest to get into academically of any state school in Ohio.
bob h
Mitch Daniels, for his part, did go to Princeton
He is also too moderate, sensible, and reasonable to ever be acceptable to the Republican hordes. He might as well not exist.
HeartlandLiberal
Mitch Daniels has been a disaster for this state. Sold out our highways for a mess of pottage. That he was reelected happened because the Democrats, as usual, nominated a weak candidate who then proceeded to run a pitiful campaign.
Mitch ran with slogan “My Man Mitch”. We usually alter that to read “My Bitch Mitch”.
Typical despicable Republican politician who would sell out his grandmother for a few quick bucks.
Woodrowfan
1. Yes, Ike had the rep of being a bit slow. He used to play on it during press conferences when he didn’t want to give a straight answer. And yes, he really was quite smart.
2. Miami had the rep of not being a nerd school, but more like the Wuss School. It was for those who never had a date in High School, who flunked gym, and who had good grades but not enough to get into a good school out east. At OU the joke was a Miami Kegger was a bottle of near beer with 20 straws..
jibeaux
@Woodrow “asim” Jarvis Hill:
This is what I need to know. Bless you, sir. I will search out this “Google Reader.”
NickM
Every time you fall off the wagon, DougJ, you should post as “DougJ the Blade.” That should be a real disincentive.
Howlin Wolfe
@robertdsc: That’s what I thought, too. Didn’t the Politico writer understand that Wonkette probably didn’t write that admiringly.
Paul in KY
Delta Tau Delta, AKA ‘The Dawdeedas’ at UK were the most smug, insufferable, rich preps one could imagine. After hearing he’s a member, I’d say he is gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
brantl
Isn’t this like being a giant as measured against midgets, or as Stewart said “Like being the thinnest kid at fat camp.”?