One of the weirdest things about living in Arizona is I have never lived anywhere before when you pull an ice cube out of the freezer it sticks to you and you have to shake your hand under water to get it free. For the first time in my life I understand and appreciate ice tongs- I was always “look at you you fancy twat with your tongs just for ice is the fucking queen showing up.”
And Another Thing
by John Cole| 45 Comments
This post is in: John Cole Presents "Stories from the Road", John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"
Martin
Oh, look at mr fucking fancy pants with his own personal ice supply.
piratedan
Arizona’s water is simply more discerning and omniscient…. it knows where your fingers have been.
Spanky
That’s weird, because it happened a lot in my yoot growing up in Pittsburgh.
Spanky
BTW, that’s moisture on your fingers getting frozen to the cube, so maybe you’ve just gotten sweaty digits since moving to the Great SW.
Manyakitty
Happens to me regularly here in Ohio. Agree with Spanky about the damp hands.
Scout211
The ice dispenser on the outside of the freezer door is the best thing ever. No muss, no fuss, no sticky fingers. So I guess you’ll just have to buy Joelle a new refrigerator. Easy fix!
Harrison Wesley
@Scout211: ? https://youtu.be/ekr99Y6Mc_c?si=tC9Df2fkPnBnVhZw
catclub
@Spanky: and a colder freezer
BigJimSlade
While I’m no stranger to ice cubes sticking to my fingers, I assumed the tongs were for germ-o-phobes.
Devore
Obviously the ice cubes are attracted to something equally cold
grumbles
I use tongs to load my cigarette holder.
Chetan Murthy
Wut? I’ve never lived in a place where ice cubes didn’t stick to your fingers. Sure, if you’re quick about it, they don’t stick. But if you let your fingers dawdle even a few secs, they’re stuck. OTOH …. wut? you gotta shake your hand *under water*? wut? never! I always thought it was mighty useful that my fingers’d stick to the ice cubes: makes it easier to get outta the trays (who has space for a bucket of ice cubes removed from trays, in their freezer? I sure don’t.
Hidalgo de Arizona
…y’all have your freezer running at a much lower temperature than mine. I’ve never had that problem in thirty years of desert living.
NotMax
And thus came to an end the tong wars.
;)
Poe Larity
We don’t all have the luxury of leaded radioactive coal dust in our water supply, dude.
Yarrow
Ice tongs are a fancy thing for serving ice out of an ice bucket. For getting ice out of the freezer either grab it with your hands, or, use an ice scoop.
Randal Sexton
I vote for J Cole and J L to start a ‘living in big ole america’ road show program. I will host the (somewhat) remote island in the PNW. Free Crabs, and helicopter insurance for when you chop saw your thumb off !!! Wheee !!
Jager
The short time we spent Phoenix I realized how fucked up things are there, 1. Your garbage cooks in the bins in the garage. 2. Dead cactus smells like decompsing bodies. 3. Javelenas will run your dogs down, if they don’t get it done the urban coyotes will take care of the pups, oh the javelenas will eat your Halloween pumplkns right off yor front steps, and threaten you if you interupt them. 4. Scorpions will get in your house. 5. If you swim after a brutally hot day, sit in the evening shade and have a cold drink, the heat evaporates the water off your body so fast, your teeth will chatter. 6. Waater being sprayed for hours on empty golf courses in the summer will piss you off and of course you’ll ask yourself, “why do they grow lettuce in the fucking desert?”
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
John, it’s obvious the ice cubes are sentient and are trying to kill you!
NotMax
OT.
Another diesel weasel getting slammed. To the proposed tune of $2,000,000,000.
ronno2018
that is a good observation! humidity is your friend sometimes!
eclare
That happens regularly here. I just pull the cube off, no biggie. This is a new thing?
Leto
@NotMax: I see they teamed up with VW for their emissions testing software.
eclare
@NotMax:
Very good news.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@NotMax:
Excellent news! That nearly $1.7 billion fine and the additional $325 million to fix the violations is no slap on the wrist to me.
According to Wikipedia:
Net assets are $30.30 billion and total equity is $8.98 billion
Randal Sexton
@Randal Sexton: Also the crabs might pinch your thumbs off. Still helicopter insurance is a pretty affordable thing!! Yaaay !
eclare
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
Penalties are not deductible for tax purposes. Double yay.
gwangung
@eclare: Yeah, but I’m still recalling John Rogers’ rules of criming.
One is that fines are just the cost of doing business.
Another is that things will keep going on the same way until a rich white man lands in jail.
wjca
Even split with the Feds, that should make at least a little dent in the state’s budget deficit for this year.
karl
“It’s a dry ice.”
Martin
@wjca: Feds usually get most of the money. CA got about 10% of the award from the VW settlement, despite the fact that CA did *all* of the work busting VW. CA probably did almost all of the work here as well.
RaflW
This got me to remember the dread aluminum ice trays in my grandparent’s freezer. The type with the lever that moved the cube-sectioners so you could (in theory) get the cube outta the tray.
Mostly my young fingers just froze to the lever and felt like the top few layers of skin might peel off. Fun memories!
sab
@Jager: We have urban coyotes in Ohio, but I had to look up javelinas to see what they are.
NotMax
@RaflW
And those metal flaps were sharp!
Dmbeaster
John, I do not know if you are much of an outdoor guy, but AZ has tremendous natural landscapes. I live in CA, but have visited AZ countless times. A lot of the northern part of the State is a reasonable temperature in the Summer. It’s cold right now, so enjoy the desert.
Last year’s wildflower bloom was tremendous in the lower desert around Phoenix.
mrmoshpotato
Get yourself some toast tongs too!
NotMax
@mrmoshpotato
“What are you, some kind of barbarian? Drop that toast. Those are sugar tongs.”
//
opiejeanne
John Cole, you’re a fucking delight.
Threads like this are why I come here when I should be asleep.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
Just be aware of Valley Fever. It can be serious. If you get sick, make sure you have them test for it and get treated.
Uncle Cosmo
Fer dogsake, Cole, when you’re in one of those home-supply places (or even, dogforbid, a TalMart or Warget) pick up an aluminum two-step folding ladder like the one I keep in my kitchen. High enough for Joelle to reach whatever she needs to (with a dust or scrubber extension), low enough that a slip off the upper step probably wouldn’t result in any serious injury,** easily stored in a nearby closet. Spot her while she tries it out a couple of times. C’mon, man, this ain’t rocket science – it ain’t even bottle rocket science.
** Some years back a friend in his 60s slipped on a ladder (not sure how high) and fell and shattered the bones in one leg. He was in a cast for the better part of a year. Freak accident. For extra caution attach some rough material onto the steps & remind Yer Intended to wear soles with some grip when using.
Tony G
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Sentient Ice Cubes will be the first consumer product developed by the AI Vaporware Revolution.
Joelle
@Scout211: I second the motion!
Paul in KY
@BigJimSlade: I was with John. I just thought that was a ladidah way to dispense the cubes when partying with the gentry.
Paul in KY
@Poe Larity: On the plus side, the soft green glow of the cubes really plays on the bourbon colour…
JaneE
Us Westerners know that is how ice cubes are supposed to behave. It’s like sticking your tongue to a flagpole when it’s freezing out.