Regarding that Kathleen Parker piece that Anne Laurie mentioned, where Parker asked the following:
“Would Romney greet an audience at a Jewish Community Center with: “Oy vey, did I ever enjoy my loxies and bagels this morning!”? Or African Americans with: “Yo, dawg, wassup?” Actually, yes, he might…”)
I can’t be the only one who remembers this:
I hope he wins the nomination.
Mike Goetz
“In America, we have a song: Ding dong lamma wanny, jumpin’ with an ice pick, she thinks I’m goin’ in.”
He would have been better off with that.
fasteddie9318
Let’s be fair here; Governor Romney has some good friends who are show dog breeders and kennel owners, and he was sincerely concerned that someone had left a gate or door ajar and allowed several of the valuable pure-breeds to escape.
chopper
i was fressing on some lox this morning and i thought oy, that rick santorum is tsedreyt in kop if he thinks he can just tanz in and shlep away with my nomination.
sorry everyone, i have to cut this a bit short, i’m a shtickl ibbledick. anyhoo, that santorum is a goniff. what a shlemiel, eh? i’d give him a zetz in the shnoz if he were here.
rlrr
Romney/Santorum 2012!
feebog
The guy is as tone deaf as a bell ringer in the tower of Notre Dame. Really, who doesn’t drive a couple of Caddies, or know guys who own NASCAR or NFL teams? At least we won’t be hearing about “cheesy grits” again any time soon.
Villago Delenda Est
@chopper:
I’m verklempt just reading that.
fasteddie9318
@chopper:
That’s what Kirk Cameron said!
HEY NOW!
beltane
While watching Star Trek: Next Generation on Netflix the other day, I happened to notice that there is an episode featuring an alien from a highly empathic species who looks exactly like Mitt Romney except with huge temporal lobes. Like Mitt Romney, this alien had difficulty communicating with humans through the spoken word.
Do we know for certain that Mitt is not a member of this other humanoid species?
Seebach
I remember it now, but I did not remember it until you found this again.
Thank you, Mr. Cole. Your work is appreciated.
dmsilev
Cut him some slack. “Who left the dog strapped to the roof of the station wagon? Who? Who?” doesn’t scan nearly as well.
Roger Moore
@chopper:
What a putz.
S. cerevisiae
Romney: “I love that hippity hop music.”
rlrr
@beltane:
I’m reading a Philip K. Dick novel where the President is an android…
Satanicpanic
@beltane: Sorry, but there is a flaw in your hypothesis:
chopper
@fasteddie9318:
lol, that sheygetz is pretty fuckin’ farblondjet. i almost got rachmones for him, but not really.
chopper
@Satanicpanic:
i can think of three things wrong with that phrase.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Fixt.
beltane
@Satanicpanic: Yes, I wondered about that as I watched the episode. If it is any consolation, the alien did almost cause the death of Counselor Troi’s mother so there’s that.
Perhaps Mitt Romney is good at showing empathy towards other filthy rich people who have never worked a day in their lives.
Ben Cisco
@Satanicpanic: Also, the alien species that Mitt has the most in common with (assuming he is actually a hominid and not an ALF) is the Ferengi.
chopper
@Ben Cisco:
NERD ALERT
beltane
One of you experts is going to have to give us all a lesson in Yiddish because I think we will be needing it between now an November. The English language may have met its match in this year’s crop of Republicans.
Chris
@Ben Cisco:
I’m much too fond of Quark to concede that point.
redshirt
What is upwards, Home Fries?
schrodinger's cat
@Ben Cisco: Why do you insult the Ferengi, Emissary?
muddy
I’d have picked his pocket.
jibeaux
Puerto Rico is this weekend. What’s that I hear — oh my, he’s humming the Piña Colada song.
shortstop
It hurts to watch him. I’m laughing, but it really does hurt.
It’s never been in doubt that he’ll be the nominee, but I’m torn between wanting more of this and wanting Santorum’s historical goldmine of women- and blah-bashing remarks to be fully excavated. If only we could have both.
Shinobi
I was watching I think Bill Mahr the other night and one of the republicans (Michael Steel?) was talking about how everything gets reset once the nomination is in place. He seemed to think that once there was an actual candidate all of the incredibly stupid and tone deaf things he has said and done over the last 6 months will no longer matter.
They really do think the American people are dumb. I wish I had more proof that they are wrong.
dmsilev
@feebog:
The Louisiana primary is coming up soon. Should be interesting to watch Mitt try to describe Cajun cuisine.
rlrr
@jibeaux:
“I want to live in America…”
Jeffraham Prestonian
@beltane: I remember that one! He mind-raped Deanna Troi!
.
schrodinger's cat
@shortstop: We can, let us start a website, Santorum for VP.
shortstop
@jibeaux: That will come after he makes a skirt-switching motion and yelps, “Okay by meeee in AmerEEEEca!”
Violet
Are the trees the right height for those dogs that got let out?
Napoleon
@dmsilev:
Cheesy crawfish?
Satanicpanic
@beltane:
I actually felt that when he said “corporations are people, my friend.” That definitely came from the heart.
schrodinger's cat
@Violet: I don’t about the trees, but the fire hydrants are.
AxelFoley
@dmsilev:
ROFL
Legalize
Willard at campaign stop in Detroit:
Crowd:
dmsilev
@rlrr: If that means that the next GOP debate will open with Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum walking menacingly towards each other snapping their fingers, followed by a group dance number, I’m all for it.
ruemara
@chopper: I miss yiddish.
The domestic partner had never seen this clip before. I had to show him I was not kidding about Mitt doing BaHa men for the blacks as a way to connect.
AliceBlue
@Violet:
I don’t know about the dogs, but the trees sure weren’t the right height in Alabama and Mississippi. I don’t think the lakes were up to par either.
rlrr
@dmsilev:
It would be more informative than their previous debates…
shortstop
We should probably feel lucky that he didn’t burst into the theme song from “Good Times” or introduce himself as “a honky running to be your president.”
The thing is, someone on his campaign is telling him to “warm” and “personalize” his remarks by “saying a little something about the state he’s visiting.” Either that or no one on his staff can stop him.
And this is the result. He keeps doing it because he thinks it’s working.
dmsilev
@rlrr: That’s a very very low bar to clear.
rlrr
@shortstop:
It must be working. It’s only costing him a gazillion dollars to win states by 1%…
Roger Moore
@dmsilev:
I’m sorry, but no matter how much they talk, the Log Cabin Republicans just aren’t important enough to be worth wooing.
schrodinger's cat
@shortstop: Is he still singing? Someone should suggest that he should dance as well.
shortstop
@rlrr: And no one he’s “connected with” has actually yelled, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” to his face yet.
AxelFoley
@shortstop:
ROFL²
catclub
@AxelFoley: Who strapped the dog up, who, who?
Does scan.
psycholinguist
I have this image from the first Terminator movie – Mitt’s internal computer scan thing taking in information – black people – youth – can’t run away – rap music – keep it real select response – (there’s that dit dit dit dot matrix noise in the background)
and then he busts out “who let the dogs out” or “cheezy grits” or “
soylent greencorporations are people”Michael
@redshirt: I literally lol’d
Chris
@Satanicpanic:
I agree.
I’m somewhat stunned, though, at the sheer depth of his fish-out-of-water-ness in every other moment. You’d think his staff would’ve been able to make him somewhat less tone-deaf given how long he’s been campaigning.
You know, out of all the current candidates, I think he’s the one who reminds me the most of Palin. The repeated gaffes and complete tone-deafness. The inability of his campaign managers to make him presentable. The sense of laziness and the impression that they really don’t want to be there, they’re just going to do the absolute bare minimum to run their con and they’re upset that they have to work even that hard.
AliceBlue
I can’t remember if I read it in the BJ comments or somewhere else, but someone said “It’s a good thing his family never owned a plantation. God knows what he would say.”
shortstop
@AxelFoley: You know he really wants to yell, “DYN-O-MIIIIIITE!” This ain’t over yet.
S. cerevisiae
“Thanks for all these great crayfish”
chopper
@S. cerevisiae:
“this morning i made some gumbo! i started with a ‘rucks’…”
RP
Anyone read the Salon column on Obama’s NCAA picks and how they totally prove that he’s a conservative wimp or something?
shortstop
Here in Illinois, we’re looking for him to wax eloquent about the beauty of endless rows of corn and describe the simple elegance of life in a log cabin, the kind of life his favorite president, a man who continues to inspire him, led. Yes, I’m talking about “Honest Abe,” and $10,000 says that phrase comes out of Romney’s maw by next Tuesday. If he had any reason to come to Chicago, and he doesn’t, it’d be Al Capone this, Al Capone that.
redshirt
@Jeffraham Prestonian:
True, but who hasn’t?
Jeffraham Prestonian
@chopper: What cracks me up about that statement is… over at Eschaton, we used to have this crazy guy from Louisiana who would get really drunk and harangue everyone about how they “didn’t know shit about making gumbo.” You can still get a laugh when discussions get contentious over there by typing, “GUMBO!”
.
Maude
Great post title.
Satanicpanic
@Chris: Can’t wait for the tell all- We tried to get Mitt to learn about the non-wealthy, but it was too much for him to absorb. We decided to have him memorize 25 catch phrases relevant to the ethnic groups he might encounter.
shortstop
@Satanicpanic: Close to weeping with laughter.
chopper
@shortstop:
i was born and raised in northern illinois and i gotta say, the corn is all the right height. amirite?
jibeaux
@dmsilev: I concur with this. What, they have something to lose by trying it?
dmsilev
@shortstop: Yeah, I can’t wait until the infestation of GOP candidates clears up. If nothing else, Mitt’s favorite tactic of burying the not-Mitt-du-jour under an avalanche of attack ads will be really expensive here. His campaign + SuperPac have already dropped something like 2.5 million on ad buys, and there are still 6 days to go. Yes Mitt, buying up Chicago media time will help you lots and lots.
Note to self: Don’t watch TV this week.
feebog
@ dmsilev;
/blockquote>
chopper
@psycholinguist:
“hey mitt, why are you and santorum holding hands??”
“WE ARE MERELY EXCHANGING LONG PROTEIN STRINGS. IF YOU CAN THINK OF A SIMPLER WAY I’D LIKE TO HEAR IT!”
EdTheRed
The Lucille Bluth/Mitt Romney tumblrs pretty much tie the whole Mitt Experience up in a neat little bow:
Lucille and Mitt
Mitt and Lucille
chopper
@feebog:
it was kinda weird, until Ann whispered in my ear ‘imagine they’re the poor and their brains are money’.
Ken
If you think this is painful, wait until he tries to rap. He can’t keep the rhythm right with “Davy Crockett” – and the pause after every phrase to say “remember that?” doesn’t help.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
OT: A man stabs four people in OH before being shot. Can we ban knives now?
psycholinguist
@Ken: Don’t you know I’m proud to be Black yall, and that’s a fact yall, remember that? that was Run ABC…..
chopper
@psycholinguist:
what, from CB4?
“I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all, and I’m blacker than black, and I’m black y’all”
les
It’s Mitt’s sole consistent position; he’s stiff, unnatural, insincere and out of place with 99% of Americans…
Tony J
@chopper:
About time!
The problem with American political culture is best illustrated by the ST-TNG ” episode Darmok” where Captain Picard has to try and communicate with an alien called Dathon who only speaks in historical metaphors before a dangerous beastie comes and kills them. Which would be fine, except Picard doesn’t know any Tamarian history. Picard eventually figured out how the language worked and learned enough Tamarian history to be able to communicate with Captain Dathon and his people, defusing the situation.
Now imagine that Dathan had been a Tamarian Wingnut, with his own ahistorical version of Tamarian history that only he and his crew recognised as factual. Picard would have been screwed.
Picard – “We need to get out of here, now! Uh, let me think, oh, perfect. “Like Reagan, withdrawing the marines!””
Dathon – “You lie!” (Stabs Picard, gets eaten by the alien predator)
It’s kind of like that.
Sad_Dem
Jeffraham Prestonian: @beltane: I remember that one! He mind-raped Deanna Troi!
TNG in a nutshell: Troi gets mind-raped, Worf suggests some aggressive/protective course of action and gets told no (even when he’s right), Data learns a new subroutine to act more human, the captain drinks some tea and thinks things over, and that first officer shouts “Red Alert” or “Fire the torpedoes!”
Radon Ching
This mobile site crap is getting on my last nerve.
Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
One thing I don’t understand about Romney is why he tries sooooooo hard to show everybody he talks to that he’s just like them! He isn’t, and there isn’t anything wrong with that, in itself. Roosevelt was a rich guy who wore pince-nez glasses, smoked cigarettes from a long holder, wore a naval cape when it was cold, I’m sure he never bought his clothes off the rack. Kennedy was richer than Roosevelt. But they never claimed to be beer drinkin’ pickup trucksters who liked to go out on Saturday to bowl. And while they might have hunted, they sure as hell wouldn’t have done it wearing camoflage and bright orange hats while tossing back a few Miller Lights; they would have been going after foxes from atop well-groomed horses, wearing tophats.
That’s what I think Romney has so badly misunderstood; hell, our whole political system is built today upon that misunderstanding. We saw it with the “Who’d you rather have a beer with?” shit back in 2000 and 2004. I don’t care that some guy is richer than God. I really don’t. I don’t care if he strolls about town in tails every evening, or wears a morning coat or an ascot. That shit, in itself, is meaningless. What I want is somebody who, while maybe not much like me, can understand and empathize with not only me, but all kinds of other people.
If Romney could just stand up and say, “You know, I’ve never seen a nascar race or eaten at McDonald’s or even ever worried about getting fired. My life hasn’t been like most of yours. But That’s all right. I’m not going to fake being some kind of down-home dude who drives a truck for a living or something. That insults both you and me alike. We haven’t had the same upbringings. But I can listen to you all, and learn something from you, and if I know what your worries are, maybe I can help make things better for you and millions like you in the U.S. And who knows, maybe you all can even learn something from me.” That’s what he should say, but I don’t think that he’d ever think of saying that if he lived to be 180.
I bring this up because in a lot of ways, I’m like Romney. I don’t have pots of money, but I grew up in what you could maybe call the unmonied aristocracy. People whose familes had money and influence for the first 200 or 250 years of what is now the U.S., from the first European settlements up until about the time of the Civil War or the Gilded Age. We don’t have the money anymore, and nobody listens to us, but we don’t really fit in with American society any longer. We’re diffident and often have archaic or obscure livelihoods and hobbies. When I was in college, and I graduated in 1992, my classmates had a hard time understanding why I still talked on rotary telephones and used the same old manual Underwood typewriter that my father had used in college in the 30’s (my father was fairly old when I was born; he was in his 50’s). We didn’t have cable growing up, or even a color television until about 1980 or 82. We never got a VCR until I was well into college. But the thing is that I wasn’t putting on airs. I wasn’t trying to be “classy” or some such shit; I was just used to this stuff and I liked it. I still do, though I now use a computer. Hell, I wear bow ties, and wear the same gold-rimmed glasses my father’s father wore when he was young, 100 years ago (with new lenses, of course).
I grew up in a leafy college town outside Philadelphia, where a lot of my friends had tweedy college teachers for parents, so it never struck me that I was too out of place. That came later, and today, I look at the way I’ve lived my life and the way I’m trying to raise my little girl, and I see that I and my family just aren’t like most Americans. But that’s all right. That’s the thing. It’s all right not to be the soccer mom or the blue collar father or whatever bullshit shorthand we always hear about every 4 years. It’s all right that I read about writing systems for fun and that I lived for years in Honduras after college, earning $100 a month as a half-assed teacher.
All that stuff is all right because it’s who I am. I’m being true to myself. And I’ve learned a lot. I haven’t learned all the same stuff the proverbial factory worker who belongs to a bowling league has learned. It isn’t the stuff the turbocharged go-getters who shop at the Ikea have learned. But it’s all the better for that. We can learn from each other. And, you know, even somebody like Romney has learned something in his life. He has things to tell us about, and maybe some of them are worth hearing. But he won’t tell us. He won’t tell us how lucky he was to grow up the way he did. He won’t tell what he might have learned having so much more than most Americans, and how understanding that might have shaped his beliefs about public service. Instead he tries to be the Average Ordinary Joe who watches American idol or whatever the big hit is this year.
I don’t know why he doesn’t have the confidence to be who he is and let us judge him on what he believes and what he’d like to do for this country, rather than how he grew up and how much money he has. He seems to believe utterly that how he grew up and how rich he is are the only standards anybody else could ever choose to size him up, and I guess that’s why he seems to think he needs to hide it.
shortstop
@dmsilev: Well, he’s much stronger than Santorum in the collar counties, and more than half the state’s Republicans live there, so it’s not surprising that he’s buying heavily in the Chicago market. I just meant he shouldn’t waste a lot of time on personal appearances within the city unless he’s doing lunches with the Metra crowd.
shortstop
Cole! I’ve just been informed that you left out the best part: Mitt admiring someone’s “bling bling.”
redshirt
@Sad_Dem: Worf Corollary: He gets his ass kicked by the Alien of the Week in order to show us, the viewer, how badass these new aliens are.
That’s all Worf did on TNG – give advice no one followed, and get his ass kicked.
WAAAAY better on DS:9
Robert waldmann
I to thought of the who let the dogs out tape when I read that, but I was too lazy to post on it.
But you didn’t go the full Big Government You should have said you have exclusive video which eill transform the campaign and made us wait before you linked to youtube.
Why isn’t there a “Big Government” parody site called ” little government”?