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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

When I was faster i was always behind.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

“In this country American means white. everybody else has to hyphenate.”

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

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Open Thread:  Hey Lurkers!  (Holiday Post)

Open Threads

You are here: Home / Archives for Open Threads

The Steelers lost. MY already

by John Cole|  January 27, 20024:33 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

The Steelers lost. MY already shallow, empty existence is now even more so. Bill Cowher has a choice- either the special teams coach and Kris Brown goes, or I go.

The world is a dark, hollow, cold, awful place.

The Steelers lost. MY alreadyPost + Comments

The Steelers are losing 14-3

by John Cole|  January 27, 20022:34 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

The Steelers are losing 14-3 at halftime. If I never post again, it is because I have flung myself from a large building.

The Steelers are losing 14-3Post + Comments

Got back from the bakery

by John Cole|  January 26, 20025:40 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Got back from the bakery and the grocery (loaf of apple-spice bread from a brick oven bakery, some grapes, some pears, and a hunk of gorgonzola with BIG BLUE VEINS that look like something from a science project gone bad- I can not wait to eat this combo for dinner) and checked my email. Muslimpundit heard my plaintive wail, and has reurned. Unfortunately, I checked Common Dreams to see what the fruits and nuts were up to, and Heather Mallick is back, too. In her latest ode to inanity, she proclaims that The Heart of Darkness Beats Clear and Steady in Guantanamo Bay.

This latest offering ranges in tone from patently absurd to crude sexual psychobabble, and here is a smidgen:

Some commentators, ranging in my classification from Old Scolds to Classic Haters to Completely Off Their Nut, have said that hooding, shackling, sleep deprivation etc. don’t constitute torture.

I love this cavalier attitude toward the prolonged suffering of other people. These are commentators who loudly complain about the pain of dieting or the cost of hotel room mini-bars or the tedium of reading an actual book. But the pain endured by utterly helpless, despised prisoners arouses a kind of gassy pleasure in them, that same swelling satisfaction I saw on the taxi driver’s face.

I have always thought that political, as well as personal, cruelty has a sexual element to it. Cruelty, like extreme sexual desire, is a failure of empathy, a grabbing of gratification for oneself that is very difficult to control. When you feel this surge in yourself, always beware. It will end in tears, and depending on how you expressed your contempt for whoever was in your hot, little hands, they will often be your own tears.

Go read the whole thing, then, to cleanse your palate, go read what Will Warren at Unremitting Verse has to offer us about Dear Miss Mallick. To prime your appetite for derision of Miss Mallick, here is the first verse for those of you who have never seen it:

Heather Mallick, Heather Mallick,
Do you have a hole cephalic?
Is your cranium still clicking?
Have your brain cells ceased their ticking?
Are your neurons all a-twisty?
Is your vision foggy, misty?
Is your mind becoming cloudy
From your efforts to be Dowd-y?

Readers must note that Miss Mallick is still rather fond of Nazi allusions, and they are once again rife in this latest aria of angst.

Got back from the bakeryPost + Comments

While Hillary is being lionized

by John Cole|  January 26, 20023:27 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

While Hillary is being lionized this weekend in The Washington Post this week-end, Robert Novak points out some other behavior that seems a little bit more typical:

SENATORIAL DISCOURTESY

The veteran Republican Sen. Pete Domenici of New Mexico had no sooner begun reading his opening statement at Thursday’s Senate Budget Committee meeting than 80-year-old Sen. Ernest (Fritz) Hollings of South Carolina erupted in loud guffaws.

Hollings was reacting to Domenici’s defense of President Bush’s economic policy, including tax cuts. Hollings was joined in derisive laughter by at least two other Democratic senators: first-termers Hillary Clinton of New York and Deborah Stabenow of Michigan.

Domenici, a former Budget Committee chairman, interrupted his statement to say that he was not aware he was telling jokes. The Democratic senators subsided but did not apologize.

You can buy a New York election, but you just can’t buy class.

While Hillary is being lionizedPost + Comments

The folks at Protein Wisdom

by John Cole|  January 26, 20023:05 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

The folks at Protein Wisdom have bust out a brand spanking new look. Pretty Snazzy.

The folks at Protein WisdomPost + Comments

The best (and only, to

by John Cole|  January 26, 20022:05 am| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

The best (and only, to my knowledge) review of Alan Keye’s Is Making Sense.

The best (and only, toPost + Comments

Andrea Harris has a humorous

by John Cole|  January 25, 20029:38 pm| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

Andrea Harris has a humorous reason as to why the Guantanamo Bay detainees were hooded for the flight.

Andrea Harris has a humorousPost + Comments

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