Open Threads

At least one more person has laughed off Johnny Walker’s claims that he is not a flight risk:

U.S. Magistrate Judge W. Curtis Sewell found that John Walker Lindh, 20, “has every incentive to flee” because he is facing up to three life sentences plus 90 years if he is convicted of all 10 counts outlined in a grand jury indictment yesterday.

Sewell also noted that Lindh, who had not seen his parents for two years before his capture, has extremely weak ties to his family and this country. “While it has been stated . . . that the defendant is a loyal American, the evidence before the court belies that assertion,” Sewell said.

That is judge for ‘I fart in your general direction.’

At least one more personPost + Comments

This is too delicious to avoid comment. So I won’t.

Lindh Lawyers Cite ‘Coercive’ Treatment by U.S. Forces

Lawyers for John Walker Lindh, the American captured with anti-American forces in Afghanistan, said today that Mr. Lindh had been treated harshly in “highly coercive conditions” by his American captors after being abused by forces friendly to the United States.

Yeah. He was probably handcuffed. I bet they pointed a gun or two at him, those Green Beret bastards. I don’t want to say this too loudly, because I will cause massive indigestion among the upper crust in the U.K., but they may have even put a hood on him. He was not, however, mobbed by fanatics and terrorists and essentially bitten to death, which was the fate of another American who happened to be in the region. His name was Mike Spann.

As a federal grand jury indicted Mr. Lindh on 10 criminal charges today, his lawyers filed an unusual statement with the court that offered Mr. Lindh’s harrowing account of his treatment after he was captured in November near Mazar-i-Sharif, following what his lawyers said was a 50-mile trek through mountains with little food or water.

Sorry. The limousines his lawyers are used to are notoriously hard to navigate through mountains and the Khyber Pass. It should be noted that he was probably fed more food and water than your average Afghani. At least enough to sustain him so that he can now, through his lawyers, emit a whine heard throughout the world.

The statement, signed by George C. Harris, one of several lawyers representing Mr. Lindh, was part of an effort to win Mr. Lindh’s release on bail. It said Mr. Lindh, who converted to Islam in his teens, narrowly escaped death at the hands of American-backed anti-Taliban forces during an uprising at the Qala Jangi fortress.

I love that phrase- ‘the American-backed anti-Taliban forces.’ Also known as HIS SWORN ENEMIES THAT HE TRAINED TO KILL AND THEN SHOT AT IN THE NAME OF ALLAH. Even funnier, the main reason the Marin County Mullah is still alive is most likely because as soon as he was captured, he blurted out he was an AMERICAN. And our allies respected that, and he was probably afforded a fate much better than many in the region, because of the influence of the country he trained with Al Qaeda to destroy.

His lawyers said Mr. Lindh, 20, was abused by his American captors, who bound him to a stretcher with heavy tape, placed him in a windowless metal container, gave him little food or medical attention and refused to allow him to speak with a lawyer.

However, he was not hung by his wrists, beaten until his internal organs resembled blood pudding, and then had his testicles zapped with a cattle prod, all before being thrown from a tall building. Cruel fates like that are reserved for individuals whose chief offenses against humanity are practicing Christianity and being homosexual.

At a news conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft expressed little sympathy for Mr. Lindh.

“The United States is a country that cherishes religious tolerance, political democracy and equality between men and women.” Mr. Ashcroft said. “By his own account, John Walker Lindh allied himself with terrorists who reject these values.”

Word.

The 10 charges accuse Mr. Lindh of training to fight with Osama bin Laden’s terror network and then conspiring with the Taliban to kill Americans in Afghanistan.

“John Walker Lindh chose to train with Al Qaeda, chose to fight with the Taliban, chose to be led by Osama bin Laden,” Mr. Ashcroft said. “The reasons for his choices may never be fully known to us, but the fact of these choices is clear.”

Word up.

Mr. Lindh’s lawyers said in their statement that their client was with other prisoners in a dank basement while under arrest by anti-Taliban forces commanded by Gen. Abdul Rashid Dostum, now the deputy defense minister of the interim government of Afghanistan. During the uprising, Mr. Lindh’s captors threw grenades and fired rockets down ventilator shafts, killing prisoners below.

Crude, but effective. But wait a minute. These are not the people he is accusing of mistreating him, are they? Oh, who cares. Good show, chaps.

At one point, General Dostum’s men poured oil and diesel fuel down a duct and lighted the fuel, starting a fire that killed many prisoners, the statement said.

At the end of a week, the anti-Taliban troops poured ice water through the ducts into the basement. “As the water rose,” the statement said, “Mr. Lindh was able to stand up with the help of other prisoners to avoid drowning. Around Mr. Lindh other prisoners who could not stand up were drowned.”

Here is a thought. They could have surrendered. In fact, they eventually did. And guess what!! The grenades, rockets, fire and ice water STOPPED.

Today, Mr. Lindh’s lawyers said the government had produced nothing that showed Mr. Lindh had engaged in any violent acts.

“There are no allegations and no evidence that he ever so much as fired a shot, even at Northern Alliance soldiers,” the lawyers said in their court filing.

What the hell do they think the 10-COUNT INDICTMENT is?

What they are actually doing is a creating a cute little straw-man argument. The actual indictment can be found here. Thanks to Instapundit for the link. Their argument is that no one is accusing him of activities that would be considered treason, which requires a higher burden of proof (although I think it is there). Essentially, it is the same as if Mike Tyson were indicted for rape, and his lawyers came out and said: “Listen- no one is accusing him of murdering anybody.” No. They are accusing him of rape. Same with the Tali-Boy. No one is accusing him of treason. They are, however, accusing, alleging, indicting- choose your word- that he engaged in the following criminal acts:

Conspiracy to Murder U.S. Nationals (18 U.S.C.

This is too delicious toPost + Comments

Ok.. I thought I was having blogger problems. Vodkapundit is having worse problems. If you can answer my questions, go to his site, take a look, and help the poor guy out.

Ok.. I thought I wasPost + Comments

I need help from people with blogger experience. I paid for Glenn Kinen’s banner, the money has been deducted from my PayPal account, I have emailed the blogger folks, yet the banner still exists. Anyone:

A.) Know how long it takes for them to be taken down.

B.) Know what I can do to get in touch with them, since email is not getting a response.

Thanks in advance.

I need help from peoplePost + Comments

A reader has stated that I seem grumpy, and that I never seem to have anything positive to say. The reader asked, “Do you like anything?” Here is a partial list of things I like, in no particular order:

my coffee press (a bodum)
red wine and vodka (not mixed, though)
Willie Nelson and Delbert McClinton
Down comforters, down pillows, and high count sheets
going to bed late and waking up later
cheese
red meat
dogs
cats
reading
a clean bathtub
creases in heavily starched shirts
cheap gasoline
my friends
my family

and most important of all,

I love the Pittsburgh Steelers (even though they ritually break my heart every December/January).

You see- I like a lot of things.

A reader has statedPost + Comments

Greta Van Susteren’s eye job is scary.

Greta Van Susteren’s eye jobPost + Comments

By the way. I just need to gloat. I won money on the Patriots. Ha!

By the way. I justPost + Comments (1)