This is the funniest damn thing I have read in a while. The definitions are priceless.
Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a referral on a more popular blogger’s website to set the lesser blogger’s ego into orbit.
Then God forbid a blogger gets mentioned on CNN. If you thought it was impossible for a certain blogger to get more pious than he was, wait until you see the shit storm of self-righteous save-the-world bullshit after a network plug. Suddenly the boring, mild-mannered blogger you once knew will turn into Mother Theresa, and will single handedly take it upon himself to end world hunger with his stupid links to band websites and other smug blogger dipshits.
Blogged: What you call a trivial or largely inconsequential topic once bloggers have processed through every tired detail. For more on this, look into: every minor news story.
Blogosphere: The “blogosphere” is the new buzz word that has replaced “information super highway.” It’s what idiots like to call a collection of “blogs,” otherwise known as a tragedy.
Blogshare: An imaginary share of a blog’s worth, which is ironic, since most blogs have an imaginary share of readers.
Heh.
This is pretty rich, too:
(2005-08-04) — Encouraged by their close loss in this week’s special election for a vacant House seat in Ohio, the Democrat National Committee (DNC) has mapped a 50-state “virtual victory” strategy for 2006 and 2008.
“It feels so good to almost win,” said DNC chairman Howard Dean. “We now believe we can rally our base around the hope of down-to-the-wire losses in traditionally Republican districts coast-to-coast.”
While the concept of virtual victory is familiar to the party that nearly won the presidency in 2000 and 2004, this is the first time the DNC will stake millions of dollars on advertising explicitly promoting narrow defeats. The ad campaign is tentatively titled “Close Counts.”
Double Heh.
Stormy70
Sublime.
tBone
I think he captures a lot of the blogosphere experience in just one phrase:
Stormy70
Without clicking, I’m guessing Scrappleface. Too funny.
Don Surber
Actually, it reads a lot like Dean’s post-election email …
Mike S
It used to be that when a Dem candidate called Bush a SOB and said he was more dangerous than OBL they would get trounced. Now he comes with-in 4 points in a majorly Republican distict, 3rd most Republican in the state. I guess you can laugh about that.
Stormy70
Hackett ran a local campaign without mentioning his party affliation in his ads. His ads were also set up to portray a pro war candidate. But here’s to keeping hope alive for the Democrats in 2006.
Bruce Moomaw
Yeah, it’s funny — on the surface. But it’s not funny that a novice Democrat came within 4 points of picking up a House seat in a district that had gone for Bush by a 36-point margin the year before. Which is why Gingrich and Michael Barone aren’t laughing; the natives are unquestionably restless.
As for Hackett representing himself as a “pro-war” candidate: he was also a candidate who, by election day, was famous for calling Bush “stupid” and “an SOB”.
Stormy70
But not locally, he ran a pro gun, pro war campaign at home. He had militry fliers that mentioned his service in Iraq, but not his party affiliation. He also ran against a damaged Republican RINO. I don’t think this race is a bellwether for 2006, since all politics are local. Different sets of circumstances apply to each race.
Tony Alva
The “Best Page In The Universe” was one of the first sites I added to my favorites list years ago and still get back there now and again. I like his rant on Comp USA. Absolutely dead on.
BinkyBoy
Good thing that district ignores all the national news about their candidate. It must be nice to be in the Ohio Bubble.
Stormy70
Who watches Hardball in Ohio, or anywhere for that matter. Low turn out also played a part in the race.
Mike S
This is comical. I guess the argument now is that the people of OH-02 are too stupid to know that Hackett is a Democrat.
salvage
Maddox Rules
“It feels so good to almost win”
That may be the saddest thing I’ve ever read, should be the party slogan for the current incarnation of the Democrats.
Kimmitt
Meh, let’s just say I like the movement — from “get asses handed to us” to “almost win” in under a year; it’s a good sign for 2006.