You’re either with us or you’re with the O’Reillyists.
…I should add that these guys are pretty out there. But hey, so was Uzbekistan.
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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.
“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”
I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.
The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.
This chaos was totally avoidable.
I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.
The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.
A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.
One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.
Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.
When I was faster i was always behind.
Nothing worth doing is easy.
Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.
if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.
You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.
The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.
This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory. oh, and pink furry handcuffs.
Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.
Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.
fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)
The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.
The willow is too close to the house.
Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.
It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.
People are weird.
You are here: Home / The War On Christmas: Ground Operations Commence
demimondian
The best parody is indistinguishable from the real. If this is parody…damn, it’s good.
rachel
Well, it doesn’t say “The Onion” anywhere on there… But should.
Faux News
From the link:
“Brian Flemming’s most famous project was 2001’s ‘Bat Boy: The Musical’ an off Broadway show based on the tabloid created bat child”
Folks, it just doesn’t get any better than this! :-)
Steve S
The Bat Boy Musical wasn’t nearly as good as Jerry Springer: The Musical!
Perry Como
I was always partial to A Shoggoth on the Roof.
Lines
I don’t think its a parody, though. These are just the anti-Christ bizarro Falwells, I think.
demimondian
Perry Como:
Actually, so am I. I’m also big on _Cthulu Lives_ (the original lyrics for the rune associated with _Jingle bells_, for those of you who don’t know).
The problem here is that _Bat Boy: the Musical_ really was written by Brian Flemming, and really did win awards during its eight-month off-Broadway run. The reason this doesn’t cite The Onion, I conclude, is that it is real.
Tim F.
my favorite campaign bumper sticker:
Cthulu ’04: Why vote for the lesser of two evils?
DecidedFenceSitter
Cthulhu ’04: He is the lesser of two evils.
demimondian
Yesterday, the eldest of the Demi-offspring was out doing his usual trolling at some political blog or another, and suddenly started laughing. “Dad! Dad! Do you read <x>?” “Why?” “Somebody uses your ‘Cthulu! If you’re tired of voting for the lesser of two evils.’ bumper sticker as a signature!”
Kathy K
Actually – I’m glad they are doing this. I’ve been tired of the Christian martyr syndrome since the 70’s…
Jon H
“The reason this doesn’t cite The Onion, I conclude, is that it is real.”
Well, real in the same way Bat-Boy is real.
The Onion isn’t the only legal outlet for satire.
Jon H
Interesting. From the link:
” John Landis ( Blues Brothers ) will direct the film version of Bat Boy , expected in 2007.”
ubernerd83
Steve S: I was also rather unimpressed with Batboy: The Musical. Of course, that could just be because it was a performed by my DePauw classmates, but I don’t think so.
BIRDZILLA
What will these atheists wackos want next have dickens classic book renamed A HOLIDAY CAROL? or how about HOW THE GRINCE STOLE THE HOLIDAY or A CHARLE BROWN HOLIDAY whats with these PC idiots?
Perry Como
Slippers of Infinite Chaos
Faux News
“A CHARLE BROWN HOLIDAY”
Perhaps this year Peppemint Patty and her “friend” Marcie will finally go to Provincetown, MA and get married.
Krista
It’s quite amusing to see someone with the literacy level of a drunken toddler, referencing Dickens, isn’t it?
DougJ
I have a found a weapon of mass destruction in the War Against Christmas: Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Now”.
jack
I don’t care about the one god–or the ‘god who wasn’t there’ or Allah or Yahweh or Jesus.
I want Frosty and Santa Claus is coming to town and poorly cut out Christmas trees or stockings on schoolhouses windows accompanied by watery hot cocoa and kids shouting ‘like a lightbulb’ ever time they reach the phrase ‘shiny nose’ in their Christmas pageant at school.
I want the nut to be the person who goes around annoyed at Christmas–instead of the people who want to wish you a merry one.
Merry. I want merry. When else do we even really use that word?
I want Santa Claus and Hanukah Harry and I want to give presents to all the kids whose parents decided to celebrate Kwanzaa this year and who just don’t think collective work and cooperative economics are good toys at all.
I want rauchy office parties and Volunteers of America Santas, still reeking of the Bowery, but smiling and ‘Merrrry Chrisstmassing’ like mad.
I don’t want happy holidays and holiday trees and holiday cookies and holiday ornaments, presents and specials. I don’t want any holidays crushed under some stupid bland generic ‘holiday’ banner.
I want Christmas and Hanukah and Solstice and Kwanzaa and Eid and Tet and every other holiday to say it’s name, loud, proud and full of good cheer.
And I swear by Great Cthulhu itself, that all you war-on-christmas people should get eaten LAST!
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftagn!
On a side note, did you know that wearing a Cthulhu ’04 button into a polling station is electioneering?
demimondian
Raise Cthulu!
Great Old Ones for clean oceans!
Huggoth a shuggoth!
Krista
That sounds wonderful! One thing that you didn’t mention, though, is that there are two sets of extremists in this argument. There are the “war-on-Christmas” types who allegedly want to make the season so universal as to be meaningless. But there are also the “war-on-everything-BUT-Christmas” types who want to have nativity scenes on every bit of public land, to the exclusion of everything else. Unfortunatly, those two groups of extremists are getting more extreme in reaction to each other, and are controlling much of the debate right now. I think (and I could very well be wrong), that the vast majority of people are perfectly content to let everybody celebrate the season in the way that they see fit. Nobody is telling people not to have nativity scenes on their lawns, or menorahs in their windows, or what have you. Nobody is telling private citizens not to wish each other a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukah, or whatever.
Public, taxpayer-funded land is another matter altogether. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I’m a little uncomfortable seeing overt religosity at town hall. If the city hall wants to stick up a Christmas tree and a bunch of lights, that’s lovely and welcome. But if the city hall wants to stick up a nativity scene and a cross, then I think they’re just opening up a can of worms, because it’s a lot more blatantly religious.
Being sensitive to other cultures/viewpoints does NOT mean that you have to eliminate your own traditions. It just means that you probably shouldn’t try to shove your traditions down their throats.
ubernerd83
Speaking of Cthulhu, here‘s a great essay written by Neil Gaiman that gives some insight into the Great Old One’s formative years. Or milennia, as it were.
Krista
By the way, Tim, I was cursing you as I lay in bed last night, because everytime I closed my eyes, I could see those little bugs from that Orisinal game running around behind my eyelids.
jack
Y’know what? I’ve really never encountered any ‘war-on-everthing-BUT-Christmas’ types.
I’ve NEVER heard of people who want to put up a nativity scene who scream about a menorah–or whatever else. I think you’d be hard put to find any either– as near as I can tell they’re a myth in this whole issue.
And the only people I’ve heard of who want to put up crosses for Christmas are the Klan–and they, supposedly, only want to do it to offet the obvious religiosity of Jewish symbols and the lack of religiosity in the plethora of pagan symbols that have become Christmas symbols
As far as public land goes, put them all up–and if atheists don’t like it, too damned bad. If they’d bother to believe in something they’d have their OWN symbols and their OWN traditions and they could add to the fun. Because that’s what holidays are about–celebrating, having a good time, and partaking in your traditions. All of them.
Putting them all up on public land isn’t government endorsing religion, it’s government admitting that we are a nation that has traditions that come from people who have religious faith–which is true.
Atheists get screwed in the deal because they insist that they believe in nothing–or rather that there’s nothing to believe in. But that doesn’t give them the right to force their ideas on everyone by making people put nothing up.
Sherard
I prefer this one:
War on Xmas Rant
Krista
I’ll reiterate:
Christmas is here to stay, and that’s great, and that’s cool. Why are people getting all shrieky just because some stores are choosing to say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas”? I just wish everybody would lighten up a bit and not be so defensive about everything.
skip
“I’ve NEVER heard of people who want to put up a nativity scene who scream about a menorah”
And I ‘ve never seen a Musilim complain about a Christmas tree.
Sherard
Because it’s fucking Christmas, that’s why.
bago
It’s the same thing as a conservative calling themselves a member of the vast right wing conspiracy to make fun of Hillary.
If you’re going to be accused of launching a war on christmas, the least you can do is set up a webpage.
Steve S
Why are you ignoring New Years?
We need one. I wonder if GWAComole is still available.
DecidedFenceSitter
So Jack, in case you are still reading this, you wouldn’t object to a Saturnalia scene; which can include items from here Saturnalia Comic (NOT WORK SAFE).
Just food for thought.
Krista
Food for thought — Christmas is December 25th. The 12 days of Christmas run to January 6th. Of course, we all tend to wish each other a Merry Christmas outside of those days. It’s all fine and good.
But don’t go getting your panties in an offended twist if someone wishes you “Happy Holidays”, when it’s not even “fucking Christmas” yet.