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You are here: Home / Powerpoint

Powerpoint

by Tim F|  August 11, 20061:40 pm| 18 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

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Via 1 , 2 and 3 it appears that Joseph Heller did not actually die of a heart attack in 1999 but in fact evolved into an ethereal star-child with astounding abilities to manipulate time, space and the DoD. An excerpt from the Tomas Ricks book:

[Army Lt. General David] McKiernan had another, smaller but nagging issue: He couldn’t get Franks to issue clear orders that stated explicitly what he wanted done, how he wanted to do it, and why. Rather, Franks passed along PowerPoint briefing slides that he had shown to Rumsfeld: “It’s quite frustrating the way this works, but the way we do things nowadays is combatant commanders brief their products in PowerPoint up in Washington to OSD and Secretary of Defense…In lieu of an order, or a frag [fragmentary order], or plan, you get a bunch of PowerPoint slides…[T]hat is frustrating, because nobody wants to plan against PowerPoint slides.”

That reliance on slides rather than formal written orders seemed to some military professionals to capture the essence of Rumsfeld’s amateurish approach to war planning. “Here may be the clearest manifestation of OSD’s contempt for the accumulated wisdom of the military profession and of the assumption among forward thinkers that technology—above all information technology—has rendered obsolete the conventions traditionally governing the preparation and conduct of war,” commented retired Army Col. Andrew Bacevich, a former commander of an armored cavalry regiment. “To imagine that PowerPoint slides can substitute for such means is really the height of recklessness.” It was like telling an automobile mechanic to use a manufacturer’s glossy sales brochure to figure out how to repair an engine.

Follow the links to see one of the slides in question.

For anybody having trouble dealing with the possibility that we may all merely be sprites living in Joseph Heller’s transcended mind, this book might prove helpful.

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Reader Interactions

18Comments

  1. 1.

    neil

    August 11, 2006 at 2:00 pm

    I’d like to see anyone who thinks the Democrats aren’t ‘serious’ about the military to defend this. Or even acknowledge it.

  2. 2.

    Ancient Purple

    August 11, 2006 at 2:06 pm

    Good grief.

    My guess is they introduced each of those arrows with the “fade in” or “shooting star” animation.

  3. 3.

    Bombadil

    August 11, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    PowerPoint is the tool of the devil. It should never be used for anything more strenuous than an agenda.

  4. 4.

    Tsulagi

    August 11, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    I’m telling ya, ALL levels in the federal government have been Brownie’d. Especially those involving national security. DHS? A bad joke. The CIA has been gutted replaced by message pods. At the Pentagon, breaking with past tradition, Rumsfeld personally reviews and approves all upper level promotions in the military. You just know he’s seeking those who will speak honest truth to power combined with competence.

    Maybe like the general he has overseeing terrorist intelligence gathering. You know, Boynkin. The guy who has a smudge on a photograph that he says is Satan hovering over Mogadishu. We need more clear thinkers like him who just know God speaks through little Bush.

    We’re screwed. For years to come after dipshit is gone.

  5. 5.

    ThymeZone

    August 11, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    I’d like to see anyone who thinks the Democrats aren’t ‘serious’ about the military to defend this.

    Mac and Darrell are surely preparing a response.

    Right?

    That slide is an amazing thing. Suddenly everything about these idiots makes sense.

  6. 6.

    The Other Steve

    August 11, 2006 at 2:37 pm

    I don’t think it’s really fair to condemn Rumsfeld for using Powerpoint slides.

    We should sit back and wait 20 years for the historians to pass judgement on their effectiveness for the delivery of military planning.

  7. 7.

    The Other Steve

    August 11, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    I should add, just as it was inappropriate and mean-spirited of Abraham Lincoln to fire General Meade after he had failed to take advantage of the momentum resulting from the Federal win at Gettysburg.

    Lincoln should have waited 20 years for historians to let him know whether or not Meade had been ineffective, and only then should he have done something.

  8. 8.

    The Other Steve

    August 11, 2006 at 2:39 pm

    Besides, these men are simply disgruntled that they were passed up for promotion in lieu of men of superior intellect who could create Powerpoint slides.

  9. 9.

    Perry Como

    August 11, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    I often use dotcom analogies to outline how badly this administration has screwed up, but this is too much.

  10. 10.

    Vladi G

    August 11, 2006 at 2:51 pm

    Mac and Darrell are surely preparing a response.

    Of course they are. They’re working on the powerpoint presentation right now.

  11. 11.

    Pharniel

    August 11, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    gaqh

  12. 12.

    Bruce Moomaw

    August 11, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    Christ! I have never seen any communications medium invented by the human race with a lower information/bit ratio than PowerPoint, and that includes sociology textbooks. As Bombadil says, it’s the Devil’s long-delayed response to God’s invention of written language.

    Incidentally, did anyone catch Fareed Zakaria’s recent statement on ABC’s “This Week” that Rumsfeld is “slightly deranged”? I’d remove the adverb; but at least this comment shows how far this particular crew has pushed EVERYONE at this point. If there are any pieces of the US big enough to sweep up left after they finally depart, I will be surprised. (Meanwhile, take a look at Andrew Sullivan today for a good overall description of what we SHOULD be doing at this point — as opposed to what we actually are — plus a very nice bitch-slap of Lieberman.)

  13. 13.

    Perry Como

    August 11, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    For some reason this piece by Edward Tufte is oddly appropriate.

  14. 14.

    bud

    August 11, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    I agree wholeheartedly that PP is a M$POS.

    OTOH, the good Col in the article has obviously had his brain removed and replaced by a small, O.D. colored object if he thinks that written orders are the ne plus ultra of communicaton. The typical military order is a very small idea, obfuscated by bureaucratese, and wrapped in boilerplate.

    I have been on the receiving end of 6 closely spaced, typewritten pages telling me to take 15 days off.

  15. 15.

    Andrew

    August 11, 2006 at 7:10 pm

    Ballad of the Powerpoint Rangers
    (To the tune of “The Green Berets”)

    Requests are made, from day to day,
    Briefings held, and changes made.
    Graphics slides, a must they say,
    and PowerPoint is the only way.

    Computers crash, and printers stall,
    Overloading protocol.
    Network’s down and soldiers cry,
    Briefing’s late so heads will fly.

    Pin PowerPoint Slides upon my chest,
    Full-color slides, they look the best.
    One Hundred Slides were made that day,
    But only 3 were ever displayed.

    A smile came on the General’s face,
    Slides were done and looked just great!
    T’was up all night, worked really late,
    Just to hear, the General state:

    My soldier son, your slides were great,
    Briefing’s done, slides up to date.
    One problem son, the color’s wrong,
    One more chance, or you go home.

    So tell my mom, I’ve done my best.
    Pin PowerPoint Slides on my chest.
    One hundred slides were made that day,
    But only 3 were ever displayed.

  16. 16.

    Nicholas Weaver

    August 12, 2006 at 1:00 pm

    “War’s aren’t won by doing powerpoint presentations. Wars are won by making the OTHER poor bastard do powerpoint presentations.”

    -Patton on Powerpoint

  17. 17.

    The Other Steve

    August 12, 2006 at 5:56 pm

    The only thing worse than Powerpoint, are all the other applications which try to mimmick Powerpoint.

  18. 18.

    Pb

    August 12, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    Wow. The only thing worse than that Powerpoint slide is that Bill Kristol quote. What morons!

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