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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Batshit Crazy

Batshit Crazy

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Sen. Conrad Burns, in a debate, discussing Bush’s plan for victory in Iraq:

BURNS: Again he says there’s no plan. There is a plan. We’re not gonna tell you, John. We’re not gonna tell you what our plan is because you’ll just go out there and blow it. Period! By heavens, that’s just common sense. That’s enough.

Fine, Sen. Burns. Don’t tell the Democrats so they can blow it. I can deal with that.

But could you at least tell the Army?

Reader Interactions

26Comments

  4. 4.

    capelza

    Please God please let Tester win this one…I’ll be a good girl and stuff.

    Burns is not a very bright man. Insulting the fire fighters who helped save his state from burning down was the last straw for me. Not that he had much straw to begin with…

    The state of Montana passes a resolution opposing the Patriot Act and he votes to renew it anyway.

  5. 5.

    stickler

    Isn’t it obvious? Burns has seen the “secret plan to end the war.” It’s not Bush’s plan, it’s Nixon’s.

    Worked like a charm last time, didn’t it?

  6. 6.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME, IRAQ IS NOT LIKE VIETNAM!
    Unless Fearless Leader says so:

    President Bush said in a one-on-one interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos that a newspaper column comparing the current fighting in Iraq to the 1968 Tet offensive in Vietnam, which was widely seen as the turning point in that war, might be accurate.
    Stephanopoulos asked whether the president agreed with the opinion of columnist Tom Friedman, who wrote in The New York Times today that the situation in Iraq may be equivalent to the Tet offensive in Vietnam almost 40 years ago.
    “He could be right,” the president said, before adding, “There’s certainly a stepped-up level of violence, and we’re heading into an election.”

  7. 7.

    rachel

    But could you at least tell the Army?

    There have been signs lately (eg. letters denouncing Rumsfeld sent to the editor of Stars & Stripes) that the Army’s been infiltrated by Democrats.

  8. 8.

    Tsulagi

    But could you at least tell the Army?

    NO! Because they’d just blow it too!! If we don’t tell anyone what the plan is, then it can’t fail. See, that’s why you vote Republican for national security. Deep thinking.

    You should watch the video too. It’s Montana, a state that went big for Bush in 04 and the audience is laughing at Burns while he’s going through his “I think the president has a plan, but he’s too smart to tell us what it is.” These people truly are retarded.

  9. 9.

    Pb

    Conrad Burns is like Ross Perot’s long-lost crazy cousin–the man is certifiable. Thanks for the link, that video was priceless :)

  10. 10.

    yet another jeff

    Maybe Dean Bush is putting Iraq house on double-secret probation?

    Burns has always been this stupid, right? I mean, it’s not a recent bout of idiocy/mercury in the water thing?

    Burns is worried that Tester will screw up Iraq??? Does anyone have any proof that Burns was EVER sane?

  14. 14.

    Pb

    And while we’re on the topic of crazy, this is crazy too:

    a law that gives the President — this President — the power, in the event of any “disaster, accident, or catastrophe” that he deems to require it, to:

    – involuntarily take National Guard troops from State A and
    – require them to work in State B for up to a year,
    – in law enforcement rather than just traditional areas like disaster relief,
    – over the objection of both state’s governors

    It isn’t funny, however. :(

  15. 15.

    DonkeyKong

    The Plan is a Anti-Gay Marrige Amendment on the ballot in all the providences…..c’mon guys, you knew that!

  17. 17.

    r€nato

    tephanopoulos asked whether the president agreed with the opinion of columnist Tom Friedman, who wrote in The New York Times today that the situation in Iraq may be equivalent to the Tet offensive in Vietnam almost 40 years ago.
    “He could be right,” the president said, before adding, “There’s certainly a stepped-up level of violence, and we’re heading into an election.”

    I am certain that Bush has no idea what the Tet Offensive was or what its consequences were.

  18. 18.

    JWeidner

    Sorry, I see the name Senator Burns, and all I can think of is:

    Monty: Smithers! They’re booing me!!

    Smithers: No they’re not. They’re saying Booo-urns. Booo-urns…

    Monty: Are you saying Booo? Or Booo-urns??

    LOL. Senator Booo-urns

  19. 19.

    Dave

    Fine, Sen. Burns. Don’t tell the Democrats so they can blow it. I can deal with that.

    But could you at least tell the Army?

    Wow, that made me guffaw…guffaw and snort a bit.

  20. 20.

    Ugh

    We’re not gonna tell you, John. We’re not gonna tell you what our plan is because you’ll just go out there and blow it. Period!

    The idea that, you know, the American people might like to know what it is obviously never crossed his mind.

  21. 21.

    yet another jeff

    Tell the American people? We can’t be trusted…if we could be trusted, Bush wouldn’t need to wiretap us or be allowed to call any of us an enemy combatant.

    No no…we’ll screw up the plan if we know what it is.

  25. 25.

    Richard 23

    This “secret plan” business reminds of a scene from Black Adder Goes Forth, based in the First World War (The Great War). General Melchett is upset because the Germans seem to know every move the British Army makes and suspects that there is a spy at HQ.

    Melchett: You look surprised, Blackadder.

    Edmund: I certainly am, sir. I didn’t realise we had any battle plans.

    Melchett: Well, of course we have! How else do you think the battles are directed?

    Edmund: Our battles are directed, sir?

    Melchett: Well, of course they are, Blackadder — directed according to the Grand Plan.

    Edmund: Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everyone’s dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?

    Melchett: Great Scott! (stands) Even you know it! Guard! Guard! Bolt all the doors; hammer large pieces of crooked wood against all the windows! This security leak is far worse than we’d imagined!

    Grand Plan: keep killing and dying until everybody gets sick of it and goes home. Sometime after 2008. Great plan.

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Trackbacks

  1. […] 4.) Bush announces he will not change strategies in Iraq. Before you get too depressed, realize that his statement is actually reassuring, as I was unaware we had a strategy in Iraq. Maybe if we are all good and eat our vegetables and vote Republican, they will share it with us after the elections. Unless it is still super-duper double-secret probation confidential. I can’t believe I ever voted for these people. […]