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Five Large

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Five large an hour:

She is attractive and everything, but I am not sure if she is worth five thousand, your job, your reputation, a criminal indictment, and your marriage.

Nope. She isn’t. Better than Lewinsky, though.

Consider this an open thread (And why do I tell you to consider things open threads? You talk about whatever you want, anyway, and I don’t care.).

Reader Interactions

181Comments

  1. 1.

    cbear

    I am not sure if she is worth five thousand, your job, your reputation, a criminal indictment, and your marriage.

    She is pretty hot. I might go for the 5 g’s, the job, and the marriage. How many hours with her does that buy me?

  2. 2.

    Ted

    Nope. She isn’t. Better than Lewinsky, though.

    Classic behavior of some workaholic men at the office, magnified by the ‘office’ being the Oval one. Bill went with what was immediately available. No time to be picky.

  3. 3.

    Ugh

    Supposedly it was only $1000/hour. Which is expensive but getting into “I might consider it” range* if there were no costing “your job, your reputation, a criminal indictment, and your marriage.”

    *Or not.

  4. 4.

    p.lukasiak

    Never one to miss an open thread opportunity to blogwhore my latest study…

    Misogyny, Sexism, & the Gender Gap in the 2008 Election

    Here’s how it starts out…

    Misogyny, sexism, and the gender gap are alive and well in the American electorate.

    Overall, men prefer McCain over either Democrat, while women prefer either Democrat over McCain. But the gender gap widens considerably when a woman is running. When McCain is matched with Obama, the gap is 13.9% (comprising 7% of voters), but when it is McCain versus Clinton, the gap nearly doubles to 26.9% (comprising 13.5% of voters.)

    The expansion of the gender gap is due almost entirely to changes in how men vote. Only a few more women (1.6%, comprising 0.9% of all voters) prefer Clinton when matched with McCain than when Obama is matched with McCain—women pretty much stick with the Democrat regardless of whether its Clinton or Obama.

    note that this does not take a position on who is the better candidate, it merely examines gender preferences as expressed for the recent SUSA 50 state poll general election poll.

  5. 5.

    Mary

    Lewinsky was a foolish young woman to get involved in a sexual relationship with Clinton. But she’s also attractive in her own right and has finally used her more than decent brain to get her degree from the London School of Economics.

    So if you were just expressing a preference for one physical type over another, fine*. But I hope that wasn’t an echo of “HURF DURF CLINTON GOT BLOWN BY A FAT GIRL”. I don’t think it was, but I did twitch at that bit.

    (*I prefer tall, broad-shouldered redheads myself. But I don’t snicker at short, plush, balding guys who are also perfectly attractive, either.)

  8. 8.

    jake

    But I hope that wasn’t an echo of “HURF DURF CLINTON GOT BLOWN BY A FAT GIRL”.

    Perish the thought.

    I think it’s kind of weird she’s wearing shades that hide half her face and what I can see of her face reminds me of Paris Hilton. She might have Ms. Choksondik eyes back there for all you know.

  10. 10.

    demimondian

    But I hope that wasn’t an echo of “HURF DURF CLINTON GOT BLOWN BY A FAT GIRL”.

    Not exactly. I think it was more like “HURF DURF CLINTON GOT BLOWN BY THAT FUGLY FAT GIRL”

  13. 13.

    SmilingPolitely

    If Bill had been boinking this girl, instead of Lewinsky, who could have blamed him? He would have probably gotten the medal of freedom and a standing ovation from congress.

    That he fucked the Democratic party over a Lewinsky… dude deserved to be impeached! A Lewinsky sullies the reputation of the office. From Marilyn Monroe to a Monica Lewinsky, where did the president’s standards go? Hillary is goddamn hotter than that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. Shame on you, Bill Clinton!

  14. 14.

    eastriver

    “Better than Lewinsky.” ker-SNAP. Ouch.

    In the bikini shot on the boat she looks like a poor man’s Ali McGraw.

  16. 16.

    PK

    What if she was free, available and drooling after you? Is she still worth losing the wife, job, reputation, career and gaining a criminal indictment over?

  17. 17.

    Dennis - SGMM

    I can’t help thinking that for the price of being in her for ten hours you could be in a Mercedes Benz for twenty years.

  19. 19.

    Krista

    (And why do I tell you to consider things open threads? You talk about whatever you want, anyway, and I don’t care.).

    We like to humour you with the illusion that it’s still your blog.

    And don’t be mean to Monica. Bill’s moved on and is fine, but she’s going to be infamous for that scandal for the rest of her natural life. Who hasn’t done idiotic things at the age of 22? Frankly, I feel bad for her. She was young and stupid and had her head turned by a very powerful and charismatic man. Most of us don’t have our more idiotic decisions broadcast on the national and international news, and then have to deal with every random stranger calling you fat and ugly.

  21. 21.

    Ted

    I can’t help thinking that for the price of being in her for ten hours you could be in a Mercedes Benz for twenty years.

    And while the physical quality of the women you would attract would not match up, the quantity would probably far exceed it.

  22. 22.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Consider this an open thread (And why do I tell you to consider things open threads? You talk about whatever you want, anyway, and I don’t care.).

    You’re doing better than a Certain High Profile Blog that won’t be named. I gave up posting on it when, no matter what the topic, ten posts in the comments were all about kitties or each other’s personal lives.

  23. 23.

    Cain

    You know it’s like 6 weeks till PA. I wonder if I should take a break from reading political blogs. Because the shit is going to churn to a froth and I’m not sure I can continue to be outraged for 6 weeks perpetually.

    I hope we have other things to blog about like hot white chicks and cats and definitely michael jackson. Kudos if you do all three at once.

    cain

  24. 24.

    SamFromUtah

    I gave up posting on it when, no matter what the topic, ten posts in the comments were all about kitties or each other’s personal lives.

    I think I gave up on the same one for the same reason. But I can think of three Certain High Profile Blogs like that right off the top of my head.

  25. 25.

    J Bean

    I always kind of admired Uncle Bill for his taste in women. Monica actually reminds me of the wife. Ken Starr pulled Monica into an interrogation room and tried to get her to say that she had been harassed for something like 12 hours. He refused to let her get a lawyer or even call her family, but she still refused to say that Bill initiated the contact. She’s as tough as nails — if she hadn’t been and had taken the easy way out, he would have resigned or been thrown out of office. Monica Lewinsky was both smart and tough. Most guys may not think those are appealing traits, but apparently Bill does.

  26. 26.

    myiq2xu

    Here’s a better view of Spitzer’s rental “kitty”

    If Bill had been boinking this girl, instead of Lewinsky, who could have blamed him?

    Can you prove he wasn’t? If not, then under the “Clinton” rules” he is guilty.

  27. 27.

    Zifnab

    Emperor’s Club VIP List

    Ok, so kindly explain the difference between Alicia and Daniella. You’ve got a 3 diamond girl and a 6 diamond girl and I’m not seeing any noticeable physical difference. There are no un-hot girls at this club. Who are they fooling? It’s like watching people pay a couple grand for a bottle of wine. What the hell could you possibly be drinking or fucking that would be worth that god-damn much?

    Couldn’t he just boink his secretary like every other high executive? I’ve seen some fucking amazing secretaries. I’m just say’n.

  28. 28.

    Cain

    Keith Olbermann apparently is giving a special comment against Hillary. Reading the comments on Huffington Post, it’s sort of sad watching people now calling him a gas bag, a loud mouth.. Whatever good he’s done bashing the Bush administration has been forgotten in the heat of partisan adulation.

    cain

  29. 29.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Can you prove he wasn’t? If not, then under the “Clinton” rules” he is guilty.

    Actually, under the current “Clinton rules”, he’s the victim.

  30. 30.

    myiq2xu

    Actually, under the current “Clinton rules”, he’s the victim.

    Anybody skull fucking that kitten is not a victim.

  31. 31.

    JGabriel

    Ashley Alexandra Dupre
    aka Ashley Youmans
    aka Ashley Rae Maika DiPietro
    aka Kristen     (from her MySpace page):

    When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own.

    Pause.

    .

  32. 32.

    John Cole

    You’re doing better than a Certain High Profile Blog that won’t be named. I gave up posting on it when, no matter what the topic, ten posts in the comments were all about kitties or each other’s personal lives.

    I honestly have no clue what blog you are talking about.

  33. 33.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Dan Abrams is saying that Mary Anne (Dawn Wells) from “Gilligan’s Island” was busted for marijuana possession.
    Back in the day, I would have given a lot to wake up at the crack of Dawn.

  34. 34.

    myiq2xu

    Back in the day, I would have given a lot to wake up at the crack of Dawn.

    Wouldn’t you rather have Barbara E in her PJ’s saying “Yes Master?”

  35. 35.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Wouldn’t you rather have Barbara E in her PJ’s saying “Yes Master?”

    Must have been about ten million babies lost their chance over that one too.

  36. 36.

    cbear

    I honestly have no clue what blog you are talking about.

    Idiot here. I think its the one run by 2 very smart ladies and has something about a dog, a fire, and a lake in its title.

    The posts are often top-notch, but the comments usually devolve into kitchen chats with the neighbor ladies.

  37. 37.

    p.a.

    Back in the day, I would have given a lot to wake up at the crack of Dawn.

    Wouldn’t you rather have Barbara E in her PJ’s saying “Yes Master?”

    Now here’s a discussion showing this blog’s age demographic! If I may add my ‘1960’s and 1970’s formative years’ perspective, Elizabeth Montgomery had it over all of them- speaking TV sexy, not counting movie actresses.

  38. 38.

    cbear

    Back in the day, I would have given a lot to wake up at the crack of Dawn.

    Too right. Many is the night that I dreamed of introducing her to my “Gilligan”.

  39. 39.

    Krista

    Back in the day, I would have given a lot to wake up at the crack of Dawn.

    Note to self: if I ever have a daughter, do NOT name her Dawn.

    Ok, so kindly explain the difference between Alicia and Daniella. You’ve got a 3 diamond girl and a 6 diamond girl and I’m not seeing any noticeable physical difference.

    The 6-diamond girl lets you into the narrower mineshaft.

    Did I just say that out loud?

  40. 40.

    Jim

    What saddens me about this is I banged a considerably hotter chick whom I worked with at Linens-n-Things over a summer break. For free!

    When I get older, will it really cost that much?

  41. 41.

    Ari

    Say, did anyone else notice that the ‘broken’ home refered to in the first paragraph of the NYtimes story seems to only come from the description on this girl’s myspace page? I’m hardly the type to reflexively diss the Times, and no doubt all newspapers are doing this, but I’m getting sick of articles that are obviously regurgitations of websites, or worse, obviously use a google search as a source of “facts.”

  42. 42.

    myiq2xu

    When I get older, will it really cost that much?

    It could get really expensive any day. Just let one of your little swimmers make contact.

  44. 44.

    cbear

    ‘1960’s and 1970’s formative years’

    Hell, at that age I was so fucking horny that I would have accepted a handjob from Aunt Bea…if I thought nobody would have found out about it.

  45. 45.

    Mary

    OK, if we’re talking about tv crushes and nascent sexuality and all that, I first felt that funny feeling in my tummy when I was 11 and saw The Feminist and The Fuzz with David Hartman and Barbara Eden. (Yes, THAT David Hartman).

    puts paper bag over head

    What was I thinking? True, I was home sick, and maybe that made me more susceptible to the tall, craggy type, but still, the man who would become Lucas freakin’ Tanner and a host on GMA? I am so uncool.

  46. 46.

    merrinc

    Who hasn’t done idiotic things at the age of 22?

    I did a lot of idiotic things in my 20’s (it was in fact, my decade of idiocy) but I’m pretty sure that if I’d had the opportunity to meet/interact with the POTUS, I woudn’t have flashed him my thong.

  47. 47.

    myiq2xu

    If I may add my ‘1960’s and 1970’s formative years’ perspective, Elizabeth Montgomery had it over all of them- speaking TV sexy, not counting movie actresses.

    I was a little young for Barbara, Dawn and Liz, so my steamy trio was Kate, Jaclyn and Farrah.

  48. 48.

    myiq2xu

    I did a lot of idiotic things in my 20’s (it was in fact, my decade of idiocy) but I’m pretty sure that if I’d had the opportunity to meet/interact with the POTUS, I woudn’t have flashed him my thong.

    Are you saying that if the POTUS needed a place to put his cigar you wouldn’t have done your patriotic duty?

  49. 49.

    myiq2xu

    Hell, at that age I was so fucking horny that I would have accepted a handjob from Aunt Bea…if I thought nobody would have found out about it.

    Kinda like riding a Moped, huh?

  50. 50.

    demimondian

    Thinking with one’s gonads is a notoriously risky proposition. Trying to figure out why your gonads thought a particular thing is even more pointless.

  51. 51.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Hell, at that age I was so fucking horny that I would have accepted a handjob from Aunt Bea…if I thought nobody would have found out about it.

    ROTFLMAO!

  53. 53.

    Martin

    As Jack said, you pay them to leave.

    Actually, you pay them to keep quiet. The Globe pays a lot for an exclusive on a Gov getting yanked.

  54. 54.

    JGabriel

    Ari:

    Say, did anyone else notice that the ‘broken’ home refered to in the first paragraph of the NYtimes story seems to only come from the description on this girl’s myspace page?

    The Times also spoke with Dupre and her mother. It’s not as if the they didn’t talk to the subjects to confirm/corroborate the story.

    Your lareger point is correct, of course. It just doesn’t seem to be a valid criticism in this case.

    .

  55. 55.

    cbear

    I wonder if I’m the only one here that had a serious hankering to put the bone to Morticia Addams?
    Her and that slinky black dress.

  56. 56.

    Krista

    my steamy trio was Kate, Jaclyn and Farrah.

    At least you can be proud of that. I was a shrieking New Kids on the Block fan. Yeah, I lusted after Donnie Wahlberg. Although, at least he did grow up to be pretty good-looking, from what I saw when he was on “Boomtown”.

    That was just innocent infatuation, though. The first famous guy who got me all flustered ‘n’ stuff was Christian Slater.

  57. 57.

    Dennis - SGMM

    I wonder if I’m the only one here that had a serious hankering to put the bone to Morticia Addams?
    Her and that slinky black dress.

    Seconded.

  58. 58.

    myiq2xu

    I wonder if I’m the only one here that had a serious hankering to put the bone to Morticia Addams?

    Flora and Fauna! You never wanted twins?

  60. 60.

    myiq2xu

    The first famous guy who got me all flustered ‘n’ stuff was Christian Slater.

    I preferred his “sister” Helen in Legend of Billy Jean.

    I was already married w/children by then but . . .

  61. 61.

    demimondian

    Think of all the lucky young women who are growing up fantasizing about Rupert Grint. And all the lucky young men who are dreaming about trysts with Evanna Lynch.

  62. 62.

    cbear

    Christian Slater

    I used to fuck a guy who looked just like Christian Slater when I was in prison.

  63. 63.

    myiq2xu

    I used to fuck a guy who looked just like Christian Slater when I was in prison.

    Oh Yeah? When I was in prison I used to fuck a guy who looked just like Aunt Bea!

  64. 64.

    cbear

    Oh Yeah? When I was in prison I used to fuck a guy who looked just like Aunt Bea!

    BASTARD! Keep your goddamn Hillary-loving paws off my bitches.

  65. 65.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Okay, I’m sitting here all alone in front of the computer, laughing my head off. Thank you!

  66. 66.

    cbear

    Ahem, for those of you that don’t know, the “I used to fuck a guy who looked like _______ in prison” is a takeoff from a famous line in the movie Roadhouse.

    I hope I’ll still be invited to attend the Ballon Juice garden party?

  69. 69.

    cbear

    Okay, I’m sitting here all alone in front of the computer, laughing my head off. Thank you!

    No problem Sarge. Thanks for your service.

    BTW, am I correct in thinking that you were the author of the famous “…who sucked the Clinton dick” comment?

    If so, and however irreverant the comment might have been, I salute you for having attained a Zen-like level of snark.

  70. 70.

    cbear

    Alice from The Brady Bunch

    Good ol Alice. Funny that you mention her, cause I made myiq fuck a guy who looked just like her when we were in prison. Myiq got a little miffed when the dude kept yelling “Oh, Sweet Obama” during the lovefest, but everything worked out in the end.

  71. 71.

    jake

    Think of all the lucky young women who are growing up fantasizing about Rupert Grint. And all the lucky young men who are dreaming about trysts with Evanna Lynch.

    Blurg. Think of all the young men and women who grow up with a thing for drugged out, half-frozen waifs. (Watch out Michael Stipe!) Christ, those kids need a course of iron supplements, regular sessions under a sun lamp and they shouldn’t be excused from the table until they’ve eaten all their veggies.

  72. 72.

    myiq2xu

    Alice from The Brady Bunch

    She took care of Sam’s meat. From what I heard, Peter and Bobby’s too.

    Greg had Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

  73. 73.

    jake

    Ahem, for those of you that don’t know, the “I used to fuck a guy who looked like ___ in prison” is a takeoff from a famous line in the movie Roadhouse.

    Don’t listen. That’s what he said when I used to fuck him in prison.

  74. 74.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Yeah, I’m the proud author of the “another woman’s lipstick” comment. Sometimes I just like to toss out something that works like those old ping-pong balls + mousetraps fission demos.

  75. 75.

    cbear

    That’s what he said when I used to fuck him in prison.

    Yeah right. If you’d fucked me in prison the last thing you would have heard would have been the medics saying “C’mon cbear, let go of the dick now, we need to sew it back on the body”.

  76. 76.

    Kevin

    Ahem, for those of you that don’t know, the “I used to fuck a guy who looked like ___ in prison” is a takeoff from a famous line in the movie Roadhouse.

    No, no, it’s “I used to fuck guys like you in prison”.

    Reading Joe Queenan has its uses.

  77. 77.

    myiq2xu

    Sometimes I just like to toss out something that works like those old ping-pong balls + mousetraps fission demos.

    I saw a stripper in TJ do the ping-pong ball trick, but that mousetrap thing sounds painful.

  78. 78.

    As My Great Grandmother

    That isn’t the most flattering picture of her. Check out the one Drudge is running. Those are superlative lips. $1000/hr lips? eh

  79. 79.

    DougJ

    Is there a country song titled “Another Woman’s Lipstick”? If not, we should write one. I recall Krista having a certain talent for poetry.

  80. 80.

    cbear

    Dennis,
    Members of my family have served for generations, but I’m not familiar with the acronym SGGM? Is it Sgt. Major?

  81. 81.

    jake

    Yes, he was so tough he’d yank it off and try to [ahem] beat me off with it. The doctors who worked on him went on to gain great fame when they performed the same procedure on one Mr. Bobbitt.

    Whom I also used to fuck in prison.

  82. 82.

    b. hussein canuckistani

    Started off with Jaclyn Smith on Charlie’s Angels, until I figured out that Diana Rigg on the Avengers was a thousand times cooler. Too bad it was only reruns by then.

  83. 83.

    Studly Pantload

    Well, since I don’t have any real celebrity crushes in my adolescent past,* may I just kvetch about this stupid law that moved daylight savings up three weeks? The only clock in my living room is the VCR, which of course was programmed by the manufacturer before the stupid law passed. Now, knowing the clock I trust the other 49 weeks of the year is wrong just fucks my shit up. Tonight, for some bizarro reason, I got fooled into thinking it was an hour *later* than it actually was, and hence poured a glass of wine a wee bit early. Now I need to hold off for the second glass, lest I become too blotto to follow Olby’s Special Rant when it comes on out here on the Left Coast, during which time I’ll have to give up my precious buzz. Foo.

    *OK, a very young Terri Garr did sorta get my attention, but it’s not like thoughts of her entertained any “make friends with Mr. Happy” moments

  84. 84.

    demimondian

    _Another girl’s lipstick_

    But honey, you know it make me sick //
    when, honey, I’m sucking your dick //
    And I taste the taste //
    And smell the smell //
    Of another girl’s lipstick.

    [Chorus]
    Another girl’s lipstick //
    On your love stick //
    Where have you been putting that prick? //
    Your better tall me quick!

  85. 85.

    cbear

    I saw a stripper in TJ do the ping-pong ball trick

    That’s not a trick, that’s a talent.

    BTW, I saw the same thing in Manila performed by a stripper named Michele Malkin. I think she works over here in the U.S now.

  86. 86.

    myiq2xu

    *OK, a very young Terri Garr did sorta get my attention, but it’s not like thoughts of her entertained any “make friends with Mr. Happy” moments

    Mr. Happy? Happy Days?

    Joanie!

    BTW – Chachie is doing much better these days. He’s pregnant too!

  87. 87.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Dennis,
    Members of my family have served for generations, but I’m not familiar with the acronym SGGM? Is it Sgt. Major?

    Nope, although my family has served since Concord Bridge, I was only a lowly Second Class Petty Officer (Same-same: Army Sergeant) in the USN. SGMM stands for San Gabriel Mountain Music. I live in the foothills in a little bitty town. Despite being surrounded by high-tack urban sprawl the San Gabriels still manage to sing. I just added it on because there are a number of Dennis’s out there in the wild.

  88. 88.

    tBone

    The 6-diamond girl lets you into the narrower mineshaft.

    Did I just say that out loud?

    Everyone else can quit trying, Krista has collected all of the win in this thread.

    my steamy trio was Kate, Jaclyn and Farrah.

    Farrah was a trio all on her own. I was a little kid when she left that show and it scarred me for life.

  89. 89.

    cbear

    Mr. Bobbitt. Whom I also used to fuck in prison.

    You banged Bobbitt? Man, no wonder the poor guy couldn’t hold onto his pecker. It was probably all streched-out and weakened from your oral ministrations.

  90. 90.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Postscript: I did spend a year in the Delta with the Brown Water Navy. Knowing that there was a card with my name on it at BUPERS inscribed: “Dirty Little War Qualified” encouraged me to leave the service. I had come to understand that the gov could and would convince itself that sending people to blow up anyone who disagreed with us was an okay thing to do.

  91. 91.

    myiq2xu

    You banged Bobbitt? Man, no wonder the poor guy couldn’t hold onto his pecker.

    He was kicked out of the Marines for getting separated from his unit.

  92. 92.

    demimondian

    I saw the same thing in Manila performed by a stripper named Michele Malkin. I think she works over here in the U.S now.

    Oh, yeah, the one with the “Deperate High school cheerleader” schtick? I’ve heard of that one, I think.

  93. 93.

    DougJ

    I’m thinking something a little more high-brow, demi. Something along the lines of “Put Your Ring On A Different Finger” or “Motel Matches”.

    i saw another woman’s lipstick on your collar
    a little redder than the shade i do
    and it ain’t so much that i mind that you’re cheatin’
    but i mind that she’s all made up like a prostitute

    Not great I know. But something like that.

  94. 94.

    demimondian

    Sorry, DougJ. The image of “another woman’s lipstick” just has too much “train dog whistles and broken hearts” resonance for me. Gotta have the sleazy twanging guitar and the weepin’ fiddle.

    Not to mention the singer with the BIG BIG…err…HAIR.

  95. 95.

    myiq2xu

    Everyone else can quit trying, Krista has collected all of the win in this thread.

    Okay, I’ll bite the bullet and ask what everybody (with a penis) is thinking:

    Krista? How many diamonds?

  96. 96.

    demimondian

    I saw that other woman’s lipstick //
    on the collar of your shirt. //
    Oh, baby, the shape of that kiss mark //
    Is the shape of the scar on my heart.

    Something like that?

  97. 97.

    myiq2xu

    Sorry, DougJ. The image of “another woman’s lipstick” just has too much “train dog whistles and broken hearts” resonance for me. Gotta have the sleazy twanging guitar and the weepin’ fiddle.

    Not to mention the singer with the BIG BIG…err…HAIR.

    Confederate Railroad:

    Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side
    When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
    Too much lipstick and too much rouge
    Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
    And I like my women just a little on the trashy side

    Should’ve seen the looks on the faces of my dad and mom
    When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom
    They said, well, pardon us son, she ain’t no kid
    That’s a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig
    I said I know it dad, ain’t she cool, that’s the kind I dig

  99. 99.

    john hooker

    Wow, I would jump her bones in a minute. But 5 K? WTF!

    Seriously though, what kind of an ego trip was this guy on. Maybe if you pay more you end up believing you are getting a better looking girl.

  100. 100.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Kinda’ like Carrie Underwood’s take on cheating:

    Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
    and she’s probably getting frisky…
    right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can’t shoot whiskey…

    Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo…

    And he don’t know…

    That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
    carved my name into his leather seats…
    I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
    slashed a hole in all 4 tires…

  101. 101.

    myiq2xu

    If I remember correctly, Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies was hittable.

    Miss Hathaway! She took the Max!

  102. 102.

    DougJ

    Oh, baby, the shape of that kiss mark //
    Is the shape of the scar on my heart.

    That’s kind of a new country feel to it. I hate that kind of stuff. I want one where the punch line is that she’s glad that the no good bum if off her hands. I’m old school like that.

  103. 103.

    myiq2xu

    Kinda’ like Carrie Underwood’s take on cheating:

    Nothing says love like stalking.

    In all fairness, as cute as Carrie is, the blond bimbo in the video was hotter.

  104. 104.

    DougJ

    A Patsy-style version of it would be cool too. That could be pretty sappy but not “scar on my heart” style. Granted, “scar on my heart” stuff is exactly what the yellow ribbon magnet on the SUV crowd goes for.

  105. 105.

    DougJ

    If I can just talk about this for a minute, because my therapist is sick of hearing about it…I really, really hate that “Live Like You Were Dying” song. Sometimes I hear it in the supermarket and I have to leave. It makes me wish I were dead.

  106. 106.

    myiq2xu

    Granted, “scar on my heart” stuff is exactly what the yellow ribbon magnet on the SUV crowd goes for.

    Old skool cuntry:

    Lorretta Lynn: Fist City:

    A you’ve been makin’ your brags around town
    That you’ve been a lovin’ my man
    But the man I love, when he picks up trash
    He puts it in a garbage can
    And that’s what a you look like to me
    And what I see’s a pity
    Close your face and stay outta my way
    If ya don’t wanna go to fist city
    If ya don’t wanna go to fist city
    Ya better detour around my town
    ‘Cause I’ll grab you by the hair a the head
    And I’ll lift a you off a the ground

    You ain’t woman enough to take my man:

    Women like you, they come a dime a dozen
    You can buy them anywhere
    For you to get to him, I’d have to move over
    And I’m gonna stand right here
    But it’ll be over my dead body, so get out while you can
    ‘Cause you ain’t woman enough to take my man

  107. 107.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    Should’ve seen the looks on the faces of my dad and mom
    When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom
    They said, well, pardon us son, she ain’t no kid
    That’s a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig
    I said I know it dad, ain’t she cool, that’s the kind I dig

    OK. I now forgive you for being a Hillbot. I loves me that song. Nothing like a good ol’ country to make you want to … let David Allan Coe say it:

    Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.
    And I went to pick her up in the rain.
    But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
    She got runned over by a damned old train.

    Time for some tequila.

  110. 110.

    Dennis - SGMM

    In all fairness, as cute as Carrie is, the blond bimbo in the video was hotter.

    You got that right. If I wasn’t old, and married thirty years, and old and…
    Aw, forget it.

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
    A tale of a fateful trip
    That started from this tropic port
    Aboard this tiny ship.

  112. 112.

    cbear

    If I remember correctly, Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies was hittable.

    Yeah, but the downside to that is you might not know if you hit the real thing—or an especially deep wrinkle.

  114. 114.

    AkaDad

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
    A tale of a fateful trip
    That started from this tropic port
    Aboard this tiny ship.

    The age old question. Ginger or Mary Ann? Neither. I would have tapped Mrs. Howell’s ass.

  116. 116.

    myiq2xu

    The age old question. Ginger or Mary Ann? Neither. I would have tapped Mrs. Howell’s ass.

    Three single guys on the island, and none of them were tapping Maryann or Ginger.

    Ever wonder why the Skipper called Gilligan “little buddy?”

  117. 117.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Mary Tyler Moore on “The Dick van Dyke Show.”
    Or, as the phone operator on Peter Gunn – bit o’ redundancy there.

  119. 119.

    myiq2xu

    Mary Tyler Moore on “The Dick van Dyke Show.”

    Q: What do Lucille Ball and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

    A: They both had a little Cuban inside them.

  121. 121.

    cbear

    Mary Tyler Moore

    Oh yeah, little MTM. So cheerful, so vulnerable, such a quintessential small-town girl.
    I would have loved to introduce her to the horrors of the big bad city.

  123. 123.

    myiq2xu

    I would have loved to introduce her to the horrors of the big bad city.

    I met a few whores in the big bad city too.

  124. 124.

    Zuzu

    He was invisible for a while.

    That he was. Good catch.

    ‘Course he was off my radar by then, as I was married with a kid and no TV.

  126. 126.

    Dennis - SGMM

    “Some Like it Hot” is on TCM right now. Damn. Always thought of Norma Jean as the epitome of the Age of the Cadillac Women: that 4:11 rear end and those huge bumper guards.

    CADILLAC WALK
    (Moon Martin)

    When the moon comes up the sun goes down
    Rita starts to creep around
    Gets a flame in her blood fire on her breath
    Fourteen names notched on her chest
    She gotta rose tattooed on her thigh
    Dead men raise and sigh
    And it drives my young blood wild

    My baby’s got the Cadillac walk

  128. 128.

    myiq2xu

    From TalkLeft:

    Client Number 6 in SpitzerGate has been revealed. He’s the richest man in England, the Duke of Westminster, Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor.

  129. 129.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Catherine Bach or Jessica Simpson?

    Catherine Bach. Just for the unselfconscious nasty and the innovation of pantyhose + cutoff jeans.

  130. 130.

    cbear

    Catherine Bach or Jessica Simpson

    I’ll go 5 G’s to do either one—and throw in the wife and job for some stereo action.

  131. 131.

    cbear

    Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor

    Sounds familiar..I remember trading a carton of milk for an English guy…where’d he do his time?

  133. 133.

    myiq2xu

    As much as I dislike the nuclear option, two words: Julie Newmar.

    Mee-Yow!

    Doin’ the “Batusi” with Adam West.

  134. 134.

    myiq2xu

    Sounds familiar..I remember trading a carton of milk for an English guy…where’d he do his time?

    The Tower of London.

  135. 135.

    Dennis - SGMM

    Sounds familiar..I remember trading a carton of milk for an English guy…where’d he do his time?

    Hell, where I did my time, the English guys would give you their Bugler – including the papers.

  136. 136.

    myiq2xu

    Julie Newmar

    Since we already went Roadhouse earlier, this reminds me of “To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar”

    Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer.

  137. 137.

    myiq2xu

    Hell, where I did my time, the English guys would give you their Bugler – including the papers.

    With a stiff upper lip?

  138. 138.

    cbear

    the nuclear option

    Aw Jeebus, you had to go there didn’t you?

    OK, OK, I’m gonna have to hit you back with my big stick, much as I hate to give her up.

    HAYLEY MILLS!!! you bitches.

    Remember the twins in The Parent Trap?
    Well, guess what kind of “double trouble” I was comtemplating?

    I’m lucky they didn’t have VCR’s back then cause my little cbear might not have made it out alive.

  139. 139.

    Dennis - SGMM

    With a stiff upper lip?

    I wouldn’t have traded an Englishman with dentures for a share in the railroad.

  141. 141.

    myiq2xu

    OK, OK, I’m gonna have to hit you back with my big stick, much as I hate to give her up.

    If I were older I would fire back with Annette Funicello, the only Mouseketeer with bumps, but since I was too young for that, I’ll throw Olivia Newton John at ya.

    When she was all Greased up, she was HOT!

    “What are you looking at, stud?” gave me multiplying chills!

  142. 142.

    cbear

    Jeebus, isn’t this a pleasantly nostalgic thread?

    Like I said earlier, I well remember those days of my youth where I went everywhere accompanied by at least a blue-veiner–that could transition to full diamond-cutter w/ a pretty girl’s glance….or the squeal of a stray cat.

  143. 143.

    myiq2xu

    Like I said earlier, I well remember those days of my youth where I went everywhere accompanied by at least a blue-veiner—that could transition to full diamond-cutter w/ a pretty girl’s glance….or the squeal of a stray cat.

    I failed freshman algebra in high school because I had two cheerleaders who sat across from me. It was the mid-70’s and girls weren’t used to wearing skirts. Kinda like Britney getting out of a car, but with panties.

    Orange panties. (School colors were black and orange)

    At the time I was 14 and got hard if the wind blew.

  144. 144.

    cbear

    Hey Dennis,
    Can you post your infamous Clinton comment here in the thread. I have a couple of expat buddies flying 747’s out of BKK I want to share it with.

    BTW myiq, I’m not trying to ruin the convivial mood of the thread, which I have very much enjoyed, but great snark is great snark no matter who is being snarked.

  145. 145.

    myiq2xu

    Over at No Quarter there is a post titled “Olbermann’s Cheese Slides Off The Plate.”

    Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are.

  146. 146.

    myiq2xu

    BTW myiq, I’m not trying to ruin the convivial mood of the thread, which I have very much enjoyed, but great snark is great snark no matter who is being snarked.

    See my previous post

  147. 147.

    Chuck Butcher

    Mrs Peel in B&W “The Avengers” oh my.

    Re: the diamond girl
    Back in the late 70s I spent about 8 months with a gal as good looking and I was just a broke ass carpenter. I prefer my wife, a bit plainer looking but a lot easier on my mind. (also not concurrent with each other, I seem to be quite monogamous)

    No, I don’t understand the hooker thing.

  148. 148.

    cbear

    At the time I was 14 and got hard if the wind blew.

    I can’t believe I made it out of my teens without manually Bobbitting my little guy.
    All I can say is it’s a good thing they made em stretchable.

  149. 149.

    myiq2xu

    Mrs Peel in B&W “The Avengers” oh my.

    Barbara Gordon aka Yvonne Craig aka “Batgirl”

  150. 150.

    myiq2xu

    Britt Eklund in a bikini as “Miss Goodnight” in “Man With the Golden Gun”

    “She’s coming sir!”

  151. 151.

    myiq2xu

    I can’t believe I made it out of my teens without manually Bobbitting my little guy.
    All I can say is it’s a good thing they made em stretchable.

    When I was a just little bitty boy
    my grandmother bought me a cute little toy
    Silver bells hangin’ on a string
    she told me it was my ding a ling a ling

    My ding a ling, my ding a ling
    I want to play with my ding a ling
    My ding a ling, my ding a ling
    I want to play with my ding a ling

    And then mother took me to Grammer School
    But I stopped off in the vestibule
    Every time that bell would ring
    catched me playin’ with my ding a ling a ling

    Once I was climbing the garden wall
    I slipped and had a terrible fall
    I fell so hard I heard bells ring
    but held on to my ding a ling a ling

    Once I was swimming cross Turtle creek
    many snappers all around my feet
    Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
    with both hands holdin’ my ding a ling a ling

    This here song it ain’t so sad
    the cutest little song you ever had
    those of you who will not sing
    You must be playin’ with your own ding a ling
    My ding a ling Your ding a ling, your ding a ling
    We saw you playin’ with your ding a ling
    My ding a ling everybody sing
    I want to play with my ding a ling

  152. 152.

    cbear

    If we’re going big screen now…Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren.

    Remember Jacqueline Bisset in “The Deep”…coming up out of the water in the t-shirt?

    Man oh man, I would have let myself be hogtied, double-wetsuited, and dildoized, for a shot at her.

  153. 153.

    myiq2xu

    If we’re going big screen now…Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren.

    Sondra Locke in “The Outlaw Josey Wales.”

    Cybill Shepard in “The Last Picture Show.”

  154. 154.

    myiq2xu

    Raquel Welch in “One Million Years B.C.”

    Kim Darby in “True Grit.”

    Okay, that last one was kinda perverted.

    All right, really perverted.

  155. 155.

    cbear

    G’nite all.
    I’m off to dream of my wasted youth and all the beautiful girls, imaginary and real, who have graced my life.

  156. 156.

    TenguPhule

    I don’t know if I should laugh or cry about half the stuff in this thread I don’t recognize and the other half that I do.

  158. 158.

    p.a.

    If we’re going big screen now…Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren.

    I saw Loren in ‘Divorce Italian Style’ as a 12 year old and woke up the next morning as a 13 year old.

    Ooh Ooh! Anyone mention the Walton girls yet? Erin was teh hot!

  159. 159.

    Prospero

    She is nowhere close to worth $5K.

    You know, that’s pretty disgusting way to talk about somebody.

  160. 160.

    scrutinizer

    Susan Dey, dammit. I must’ve seen First Love like a million times. With a side of Beverly d’Angelo, even.

  161. 161.

    PaulW

    My problem is I don’t have 5k to waste. Just on looks alone, though, she is my physical ideal (long-haired brunette, huge tracts of land). But I’d have to meet her and discuss meta-literature and Civil War history to see if she’s my intellectual ideal…

  162. 162.

    4tehlulz

    You know, that’s pretty disgusting way to talk about somebody.

    Spare me the morality. There’s no difference between a hooker being “worth” $5000/session and someone else being paid $7.75/hr at McDonald’s. Someone else is putting a price on them.

    Actually, that’s not true. the $5,000/session is a livable wage. The $7.75? Not so much.

  163. 163.

    Tim F.

    1. Direct sunlight is extremely unflattering for photographs. Have you ever seen spy pics of famous celebs on the beach? They look like shit.

    2. Above several hundred you’re paying for the performance.

  164. 164.

    dslak

    I see that the MUP has brought together Sully and Olbermann. This after bringing together the Clintons and Rush Limbaugh. Are there any two enemies that the MUP cannot bring together as friends in a common cause?

    Pet his mane: He really is magical!

  165. 165.

    p.a.

    Apocryphal Winston Churchill story. Seated next to a beautiful young woman at a dinner party he leaned over and asked her “My dear, would you sleep with me for a million pounds?”
    “Why yes, I believe I would.”
    Would you sleep with me for one pound?”
    “Sir Winston, what do you think I am?”
    “We’ve already determined that my dear, now we’re just haggling over price.”
    (Also heard this attributed to G.B. Shaw)

  166. 166.

    Lee

    2. Above several hundred you’re paying for the performance.

    Having been in the Marines, I have some experience in this area and this is not exactly true.

    Unless you get into the serious kink, it is really a looks/performance trade off until a certain amount is hit, then all your going to get is more looks.

    I’m sure that we can work up a formula for this, but it is roughly

    P (Performance) from L (Looks) = $

    Increase either P or L without decreasing the other and $ goes up. This relationship remains constant for a max value of P (which P becomes K-Kink) then only L increases.

  167. 167.

    Lee

    Just as soon as I hit enter, I had another thought.

    Your definition of performance might not be sexual performance. You might be refering to the social performance of the woman.

    I still think it would be a relationship of Psex and Psocial and L

  170. 170.

    Xanthippas

    As I read on another blog (I forget where now) she’s “worth” that much because she costs that much. The expense makes her inherently more desirable to a man with enough money to throw around. And frankly if a man meets a woman whose company (in all respects) he enjoys, then he’s likely to keep that much if not more to see her.

    On a side note, there’s an article in the NY Times about her here. Here’s an excerpt:

    Ms. Dupré said by telephone Tuesday night that she was worried about how she would pay her rent since the man she was living with “walked out on me” after she discovered he had fathered two children. She said she was considering working at a friend’s restaurant or, once her apartment lease expires, moving back with her family in New Jersey “to relax.”

    She left “a broken family” at age 17, having been abused, according to the MySpace page, and has used drugs and “been broke and homeless.”

    I can’t presume her character or anything, but it seems very said to me that someone from a troubled background who moves to NY to become a singer, ends up as a prostitute who still can’t pay the rent without a man to help her out.

  171. 171.

    Bob In Pacifica

    Grace Slick did it for me. Like Iceland. Snow on the surface, but down below there’s a volcano. Or so I imagined. I knew we would hook up right after I learned barre chords.

    By the way, I have heard that Spitzer was worth lots, starting at around $20 billion up. If you’ve got that much money in the bank 5k for an hour is nothing. It must have been a lot of work for the FBI to find a few thousand moved here and there that went to an escort service.

  172. 172.

    Jamey

    Hard-looking dame for 22-years-old.

    Skanky Jersey Shore ho who turned tricks for drug money before she got the Mayflower Madam makeover? Please. $200 and bus fare home.

  173. 173.

    Thomas Allen

    I would like to discuss the openness of threads, since we have been charged with consideration of this post as an open thread.

  174. 174.

    tBone

    I would like to discuss the openness of threads, since we have been charged with consideration of this post as an open thread.

    Based on this particular open thread? I’m going to have to say they’re a bad idea.

  175. 175.

    lisa

    I’ve worked in law enforcement and I can tell you that even in the rarified atmosphere of places like the Emporer’s Club, men that are paying that kind of money are not getting straight vanilla sex. Girls who are just as pretty, shapely, sexy, etc. are doing that for much less! The ones that command those kind of prices are doing freaky things that these guys probably couldn’t bring themselves to ask of the mothers of their children.

  176. 176.

    Zuzu

    Well, if we’re really talking big-time, all consuming fantasy, nothing – but nothing – took up a young girl’s fantasy real estate like the Beatles, back in the day.

    The best part was you could rotate any of ’em through the mental movie…though John was generally considered a little too brainy and squinty-eyed for the part.

    I had a friend who had a Beatles cup with not just their pictures, but pictures of their lips around the rim so she could … uhm, well, cringe.

  177. 177.

    b. hussein canuckistani

    High prices also mean exclusivity. Someone earning $5K only needs to do one job every day or two, with all that implies. It also means your fellow customers are rich, and presumably well cared for and clean.

  178. 178.

    maxbaer (not the original)

    (And why do I tell you to consider things open threads? You talk about whatever you want, anyway, and I don’t care.).

    We still like to get your imprimatur, John. And I like the chance to use words like imprimatur.

  179. 179.

    Brachiator

    myiq2xu Says:

    From TalkLeft:

    Client Number 6 in SpitzerGate has been revealed. He’s the richest man in England, the Duke of Westminster, Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor.

    Actually, Grosvenor is the richest aristocrat in England. But imagine being able to say, “Grosvenor Square, where the U.S. Embassy is located? Mine.”

    Interesting stuff. The duke is a vain and stupid man who has admitted to being a serial user of prostitutes, and yet his social standing and friendship with the Prince of Wales shields him from being kicked to the rubbish heap. (The Duke of Westminster: so rich and so very foolish)

    The Duke of Westminster, who is worth £6.6billion and is the country’s biggest landowner, paid for four vice-girls in six weeks to visit his mews house in the West End of London.

    Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor, 55, who is head of the Territorial Army, was said by the News of the World to have openly discussed military matters and Osama Bin Laden.

    His wife, of course, continues to stand by him.

    I also begin to wonder if the client list is ranked in order of importance? Clients numbers 2 and 1 might be extra special VIP boneheads.

    However, my cynical side notes that it easy to reveal the duke’s involvement, he’s not American, his social status gives him cover, and he has been outed before. But I had been wondering whether Spitzer would have been left dangling out there all by himself.

  180. 180.

    Tony J

    Jane Balder in ‘V’.

    Teri Hatcher in ‘The New Adventures of Superman’

    and for the Big Screen

    Madelaine Smith in ‘The Vampire Lovers’.

  181. 181.

    Chuck Butcher

    I have to say that on the PL=$ formulation I got one hell of a deal. But that was then and I have a much better deal now, 17 yrs of marriage says a lot even if it doesn’t quite fit the equation.

    Re: Grace Slick, Somebody To Love, I’d have laid at her feet just to have her sing it to me. I’m a huge blues fan and get to listen to some of the finest vocal talents going but all these years later that song still sends shivers down my back.

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