I do so love it when West Virginia makes it into the national news:
The questioner jokingly asked the vice president if he and Obama were going to have a family reunion, to which Cheney replied he would “have no objections” though he said he doubted Obama would want one – “certainly not before November.”
Then came the offensive punch line. Cheney explained that during the course of researching his family lineage for Lynne’s memoir “Blue Skies, No Fences” last year, he learned there were Cheneys on both his father’s and his mother’s side of the family. There was a Richard Cheney on his mother’s side, the vice president said.
“So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family and we don’t even live in West Virginia,” Cheney quipped.
West Virginia politicians aren’t laughing at Cheney’s little joke, including his fellow Republican, Rep. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.).
“This is exactly the type of stereotyping that we don’t need from our elected officials,” Capito tells the Sleuth. “It’s disrespectful, and it’s certainly not funny. The Vice President should know better than to make a remark like this one. We all work hard to further West Virginia’s good name, only to have comments like this tarnish it. As a proud state, I can say we are disappointed.”
I got about eight instant messages from people linking to this, and I would have posted something earlier but I was in bed with my sister. Just kidding, just kidding- that was a joke. Everyone who knows me is aware she isn’t my type, besides, she is dating my brother.
In all seriousness, that gets to the heart of the matter- anyone who has lived in WV for more than, say, an hour, has heard and probably made (as a matter of a defense mechanism) every incest joke you can think of already. While it was a a stupid thing to say and I expect every WV politician to denounce it, I am betting most of us don’t care what that corrupt old bastard has to say about us.
At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.
johninpt
Give him time.
Helena Handbag
Any state that has given our culture the wonder that is “Tudor’s Biscuit World” should not have to tolerate disrespect from the likes of Darth Cheney. After his inevitable prosecution, I hope he has to serve his sentence in a federal penitentiary in West Virginia so West Virginians can come and throw rocks at him through the fence.
If I had the money to open a few franchises of Biscuit World I could become the great biscuit mogul of Wisconsin. They would go so well with our cheese and beer. Mmmmm . . . biscuits.
Mike S
Not sure why he wants to offend the last few members of his base, but if he wants to offend them he should have at it.
Usually they attack CA so it is kind of nice to see him branching out.
El Cid
He didn’t suggest they were “bitter”, so it’s not really newsworthy.
tBone
… that we know of.
Always a useful caveat when talking about Cheney.
srv
I thought your sister used to read this blog…
evie
OK, can anyone think, even for a second, about the shit-storm that would have hit had a Dem (or, horror of horrors, Obama himself) said this? I shudder.
I. Shudder.
Meanwhile, I expect nothing but crickets from the media since it only came out of the mouth of Vice President Dick “never-been-an-elitist” Cheney.
Davis X. Machina
It’s not just West Virginia. Poorer parts of Maine — western, away from salt water, eastern everywhere — hears this stuff all the time. “Welcome to Sebago — 900 people, three last names”, e.g. The Appalachian Trail does, after all, end here, making us all kinfolk.
brandon
No worries, I’m sure the West Virginia Republicans will be calling Cheney to apologize for their demands for apologies within a couple of days.
Dennis - SGMM
Isn’t Maine also home to the Enoch jokes?
Octavian
I don’t know, I thought it was hilarious. (Then again, I’m from New England). Too bad the guy’s a criminal and should be in prison right now.
slag
ELITIST!
*ahem* Cheney’s an elitist….just sayin’.
Tiparillo
Our Vice President is an out of touch eltist! He is condesending towards real Americans!
I demand that John McCain denounce and reject these elitist comments.
John McCain do you believe, as Vice President Cheney stated, that West Virginians are incest loving inbreeders?
Zifnab
Dude. It was in the Washington Post. Among other news outlets. Give credit where credit is due, at least.
I don’t know if Drudge has his signature giant red flashing light with bulleyes, pointing arrows, and punch-the-monkey banners up, but then this story is hardly “developing” so who can blame him?
Barbara
Before the automobile your courting range was a one day round trip horse ride, which cut down on the dating pool considerably, especially in mountainous terrain. And WV is pretty mountainous and not well served by highways or the train so this “tradition” persisted a bit longer, I would guess. Plus, when your first wife died in childbirth, chances were good that her sister was already living with you, so you might as well go ahead and marry her. As a colleague from Kentucky once proudly told me, one of her grandmothers was a Creech who married a Brown, and her other grandmother was a Brown who married a Creech.
Not that it’s like that now, of course. Which just shows how old Cheney is. Everyone knows that what West Virginia is really known for since the advent of the automobile is backyard junkyards.
Dug Jay
I don’t know if it’s true or not – perhaps John could tell us – but I’ve always heard that when a couple get divorced from West Virginia, they are still legally first cousins under WV law.
John Cole
Great, Dug Jay. Is that the best you got? here is one for you:
Q: How is a tornado like a WV divorce?
A: Either way, someone is losing a trailer.
Stevenovitch
because Wyoming the source of all unassailable reproductive habits.
Dennis - SGMM
You can tell a Wyoming cowboy by the fleece caught in his fly.
Tiparillo
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Tiparillo
What do you call a West Virginia virgin?
A girl that can out run her brother
Dennis - SGMM
What’s the #1 hookup line in West Virginia?
“Get in the truck, sis.”
Krista
Well, John Denver DID write a song about it.
You know…
“Take me home, country roads.
To the place…I belong.
West Virginia…Mountin’ Mama.
Take me home…country roads.”
Wilfred
Speaking of the product of in-breeding:
It is a mind set.
Chris Andersen
I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of the politicos expressing “outrage” at Cheney’s joke have told similar jokes in the past.
But then, I guess this might be a West Virginia version of only blacks can tell N-word jokes.
Cernig
At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.
Suddenly I have that song in my head, “if you can see your unborn children in her eye…”
Go on, get that mental image of Cheney out of your mind now, I dare ya :-)
demimondian
What do you call a virgin from the Arkansas Ozarks?
State Track Champion.
Tsulagi
Just himself in the foot. But they ought to cut the old fat bastard some slack. Glaringly obvious during the past almost eight years his pacemaker doesn’t quite pump blood up to his brain. Either that or during one of his bypass operations they screwed up rerouting his blood supply to his ass.
That’s pretty good. But damn, you got some stiff competition from the frozen north…
cbear
Definition of “safe sex” in WV (or TX,TN,AZ,NM,AL,etc.,etc)???
Branding the sheep that kick.
Dan
“in bed with my sister” – funny. I’m sure you know the best way to disarm is with hunor. Good for you.
Dan
Having said that, your web host appears to be the product of multiple generations of inbreeding.
Thelonius
And just to show the bigotry of those Hollywood elites: CSI West Virginia
At least he didn’t make a couch burning joke…
lutton
The WV joke I like is “How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?”
“Because elsewhere it would be the ‘teethbrush.'”
KCinDC
West Virginia is not one of the states where you can marry your first cousin. New York, Massachusetts, and California are.
Just Some Fuckhead
That one was new to me so I told it to my wife (from West Virginia).
She smiled.
Maybe it was a grimace. Either way, there were no teeth missing.
lutton
Didn’t Rudy marry his cousin?
Arguing with signposts
I heard the same jokes in South Carolina and rural parts of Texas and North Carolina. But WV does get a little more of the brunt, maybe because of their old slogan – “Open for Business.”
Dennis - SGMM
KO just reported that West Virginia Senator Donald Byrd was hospitalized after his caregiver found that he had a fever. The Senator was reported to be feeling lethargic and sluggish. I get a big kick out of Donald Byrd but, I do have to ask how you determine that a 90 year old is lethargic and sluggish.
dreggas
Q: How do you circumcize a west virginian?
A: Kick his sister in the chin.
Just Some Fuckhead
Fascinating link. My wife’s parents (West Virginians) were cousins and married in Virginia. I think I know why now. :)
Hell, their grandparents were cousins too. My wife’s grandfather marrying outside of the family is probably the only thing that prevented my kids from being better swimmers.
Dennis - SGMM
Must get melon scoop and gouge out the part of my brain that holds that image…
Kevin Hayden
You liberals think you’re so smart. If it wasn’t for the kinfolk, what would you ‘spect us to do, cross state lines? Ain’t ya heered them Kentuckians’ll give ya fleas from all the gerbils?
Otto Man
Why do people in West Virginia like to do it doggy style?
That way, they can both watch wrestlin’!
Jorge
The only thing I truly like about Cheney is the fact that he could give a rat’s behind what anybody thinks. And come on, I’ve read the posts on this site, y’all gotta love someone who would tell a senator to f-himself on the floor of the senate.
Dennis - SGMM
He has all the roguish charm of the late John Wayne Gacy.
dreggas
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Just Some Fuckhead
No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.
Dennis - SGMM
Famous too. Here’s that picture of him with Roslynn Carter.
cbear
And, he seems to have been quite a talented painter. I wouldn’t be suprised to find that Big Dick was a devotee or a patron.
Dulcie
Too bad he had that whole burying young men in the crawlspace problem.
Dennis - SGMM
Nobody’s perfect.
PK
A miracle has occurred!
Cheney has apologized for his remark. That is the quickest apology from anyone in this administration.
Have thousands of people killed in a needless war-no problem.
Joke about incesteous WVs-you are in real hot water.
We live in a glorious country!
Dennis - SGMM
Iraq can’t go for the Democrats.
Dulcie
Indeed!
The Other Steve
This makes him seem like an endearing local.
Ravi J
Dick Cheney is the kind of child born when siblings get married to each other.
D-Chance.
The old standby with Teddy Kennedy used to be “we’ll try not to drive off that bridge when we come to it”…
dreggas
you don’t have to be afraid of the dead, it’s the living you need to worry about.
Dulcie
Dead doesn’t scare me. Live people are the ones who cause the problems – see Cheney, Dick
Just Some Fuckhead
Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar West Virginia State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
Sasha
It would be irresponsible not to speculate . . . .
gex
So typical Republican. Step one: stereotype a group. Step two: insult group. Step three: profit!
Seriously, my dad is a lifelong Republican. Originally born in China, he has internalized the inherent racism/xenophobia that seems to be prevalent in the part. When he retired and went to the Social Security office to fill out forms, his complaint upon returning was “all the damn foreigners” who were collecting *his* tax dollars.
It never occurred to him that most people would look at him and think of him as one of those “damn foreigners.”
Remember when Ken Melmen apologized for the GOP’s past use of racism for political gain? Let’s see them hold to their new standard in the general against Obama!
Odd though for a Republican to attack West Virginia, though. I thought the GOP thought of these folks as the right kind of Americans.
Dennis - SGMM
The GOP seems to have a lot of contempt for the American people generally.
Cyrus
LOL, I was going to post that same joke. I heard it pretty often growing up, but instead of “West Virginia,” it used the name of my hometown, just because the joker was a friend of mine not from that town.
Even an evil stopped clock is right twice a day – the West Virginia luminaries demanding an apology for this mild, clichéd joke are being stupid. They probably don’t even believe it’s needed themselves, but they don’t want to endanger their seats on the Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors.
That being said, I’m allowed to not give Cheney grudging respect for telling Leahy to fuck off, because he’s my Senator.
DougJ
I’m not sure Big Time really meant any of this. I figure it’s just the arugula talking.
Just Some Fuckhead
At least yer sister is cute in West Virginia, unlike in Pennsylvania.
Just Some Fuckhead
He had to apologize – too many people in WV to shoot.
Dennis - SGMM
He did threaten to bring democracy to them though.
William Franks
Funny get a grip Gov. i was born and raised in WVa. I do family research. My family tree is a fence post.
jibeaux
Every culture has to have some subset of people to represent the Polacks in Polack jokes. Until a better argument is made, W. Va. works o.k. for me. You *did* see the Democratic primary there, no? And the signs when you enter the state are: “West Virginia: Open for Business” (aka “Cletus needs a job”).
Of course, the rafting, camping, skiing, hiking, etc. there are top notch. Great….family…activities.
Dennis - SGMM
When I lived up in Morro Bay, California, it was Portugee jokes.
Just Some Fuckhead
They will greet us as liberators with wildflowers. Even though it will be a cakewalk, I still say no blood for coal.
demimondian
They’re really not that stupid, you know — the smart ones all take a single payment of one and a half million dollars, delivered in the form of one million, fresh, crisp, one and a half dollar bills.
cbear
I think we’re all being much too hard on ‘Ol Dick.
After having to hit that haggish harridan he calls a wife for 40+ years, I don’t see the harm in letting him indulge his WV incest fantasies.
Plus, I imagine things got more than a little tense around the Cheney ranch when they had to embark on that forced-breeding = Vietnam deferments program in the 60’s.
“Brace yourself, Lynne, I’m going in.”
GSD
Will John McAnger reject and repudiate this class warfare hatemongering?
Waiting…….
-GSD
WV Born and Bred
I and all my cousins (who are also my in-laws, uncles, aunts, and siblings) would like to make it clear that we ain’t offended by his’n remark. In fact, since he has Cheneys on both sides of his family we would like to make him an honorary West Virginia citizen! (Sorry, Governor Joe everybody that I know thought the remark was funny!)
TenguPhule
Viva Viagra….
Conservatively Liberal
Thanks Krista! I always wondered about that song, but I never could put my finger on what it was. “Mountin’ Mama” indeed!
I am not sure that rafting in WV is all that great. At least it wasn’t in the 70’s when Ned Beatty, Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight did a documentary about rafting in West Virginia.
Just Some Fuckhead
lolz
kilo
Up here in Alberta, there are three famous cowboy lies:
1) That there’s my Dodge 3/4-ton duallie four-by-four.
2) I won this here belt buckle at the National Finals Rodeo.
3) Honest, I was just pushin’ that sheep through the gate.
You know why they call ’em rednecks?
It’s as high as the blood goes.
Y’er welcome. :)
ThymeZone
I personally think that WV should be made a state.
Rome Again
So THAT’s what is wrong with him! I see now.
ThymeZone
Isn’t it time for our long national Cheney to be over?
Rome Again
Hillary doesn’t seem to think so.
UnkyT
Cousins need lovin too!
Although I would have bet that Cheney on Cheney love would produce the anti christ himself . . .
How does that feel WV, being made fun of by Wyoming? Utah is laughing quietly in the corner lest someone notice and turn their attention to them.
Dennis - SGMM
The only possibly non-funny part is that Cheney has been given everything he wanted. From the “little” things like pardoning Scooter Libby to the big, ugly ones like the Unitary Executive and war with Iraq. Bombing Iran is the only thing left on his wish list.
Conservatively Liberal
And your point is? ;)
DaveA
At least it wasn’t in the 70’s when Ned Beatty, Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight did a documentary about rafting in West Virginia.
No! it was in Newt Gingrich country, Georgia.
Mike
How do you identify a body in West Virginia?
You can’t. No dental records, and the DNA is all the same.
Blue Raven
Geez. I’m from Massachusetts, and my father had two sisters who married a father and son.
Conservatively Liberal
The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.
“Want to go in the back seat?” she asked.
“No,” he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, “Now do you want to get in the back seat?”
“No,” he said again, “I wanna stay here in the front seat with you.”
===
Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?
There’s nothing worth crapping on.
===
What do West Virginians do on Halloween?
They pump-kin.
===
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw two men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?”
The men replied, “Sumt’n ta screw.”
Thomas Smith
Sorry son, you just don’t know how to tell a good wva joke.
Allow me.
Feller was drivin thru town, city boy, drivin one of them japanese cars, had a sweater tied around his shoulders fer some reason, stopped down ther at Harriets place, probably checking out her giant red underpants hangin on the line, you know, them city boys aint never seen the like, cityboy asks ol’ Bob somethin about, “I’m a homosexual and would like to have buttsex”.
Well ol’ Bob he thought that was damn funny, said, “Why you want to be around here, city feller?”
City feller says,”Because it seems a good investment, i could probably buy this shack and flip it real quick, make a pile.”
Ol’ Bob, rocks back on his chair and looks at ol’ Bud an an says, “City feller said, ‘Make a pile!'” Ol Bob and ol’ Bud have a good laugh about thet.
City feller drives on back to DC and tells his homo friends, “They done me like Ned Beatty up there”.
Conservatively Liberal
I like it when people drop in and share some of their personal experiences in life with us.
Thanks for sharing your story Thomas, we are all the richer for it.
jake
Don’t worry West Virginians, in the heartland of America people subject the great state of Kinfucky the same disrespectful treatment.
Conservatively Liberal
Every state has its jokes, nobody escapes unscathed in the good ol’ US of A. We are equal opportunity offenders. Hell, states even have east/west and/or north/south jokes within their own borders.
In the end, we are all the butt of joke by someone, somewhere.
Glocksman
Here’s the first verse from the Indiana state anthem:
I’m a danger to myself and others.
Yes, my cousins are also my brothers. :)
ET
Well I am from Louisiana and we get the being a little too friendly with the relatives thing all the time because cousins of some degree can marry.
RSA
True. . . On the other hand, sometimes I think it would be nice to be in such a position that I could say whatever kind of shit I felt like, and then have a spokesperson apologize on my behalf. Like Cheney.
grandpajohn
Actually it was filmed on the Chattooga river which is designated as a national wild and scenic river and forms the border line between the northern most parts of Georgia and South Carolina and is considered as one of the premier whitewater rides in the eastern US
grumpy realist
Yeah, about the only reason I didn’t grow up hearing jokes about the “backwoods people” is we’re having too much fun picking on the people in Noo Yawk City.
And EVERYBODY picks on the New Englanders. (Can we at least get people to stop calling Massachusetts “Taxachusetts”, given that quite a few red states have higher state taxes?)
Some of my friends at 3M gave me a book “How to Speak Minnasotan”. I read it and told them:”yup, just like us New Englanders, except we’re not so gabby.”
Lutefisk jokes, anyone?
Jamey
Funny, the typical WVa family tree is a wreath.
Gus
In Northern Minnesota it’s Finns. There a million Eino and Toivo jokes.
Krista
True. The jokes about Newfoundlanders have traditionally flown thick and fast around Atlantic Canada. (Which is unfair, as Newfoundlanders are really some of the most awesome, generous, warm-hearted people you’d ever want to meet.)
Lil Sis' D. Cole (Academic All American in X-country-Fer real)
Pshaw, Jay-Gee. Ain’t it about time you tell them nice folks the reel truth?
For the record, WV has KICK ASS rafting/boating- Check out the Gauley River, the Cheat, the Sandy, the New…
http://www.americanwhitewater.org/content/River_state-summary_state_WV_
Ass fer them WV Jokes- y’all relly no yer frum WV when:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
2. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
3. You measure distance in minutes.
4. You know several people who have hit a deer.
5. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
6. Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies.
7. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to fix dinner.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (And your car as well!)
9. You carry jumper cables in your car …for your OWN car.
10. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. The local carwash is the town hang out spot
14. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
15. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as “goin wal-martin”or off to “Wally World.”
16. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as “biscuits n’ gravy”).
17. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from WV
(Jokes frum JibJab)