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You are here: Home / West Virginia In The News Again!

West Virginia In The News Again!

by John Cole|  June 2, 20086:09 pm| 105 Comments

This post is in: Republican Crime Syndicate - aka the Bush Admin.

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I do so love it when West Virginia makes it into the national news:

The questioner jokingly asked the vice president if he and Obama were going to have a family reunion, to which Cheney replied he would “have no objections” though he said he doubted Obama would want one – “certainly not before November.”

Then came the offensive punch line. Cheney explained that during the course of researching his family lineage for Lynne’s memoir “Blue Skies, No Fences” last year, he learned there were Cheneys on both his father’s and his mother’s side of the family. There was a Richard Cheney on his mother’s side, the vice president said.

“So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family and we don’t even live in West Virginia,” Cheney quipped.

West Virginia politicians aren’t laughing at Cheney’s little joke, including his fellow Republican, Rep. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.).

“This is exactly the type of stereotyping that we don’t need from our elected officials,” Capito tells the Sleuth. “It’s disrespectful, and it’s certainly not funny. The Vice President should know better than to make a remark like this one. We all work hard to further West Virginia’s good name, only to have comments like this tarnish it. As a proud state, I can say we are disappointed.”

I got about eight instant messages from people linking to this, and I would have posted something earlier but I was in bed with my sister. Just kidding, just kidding- that was a joke. Everyone who knows me is aware she isn’t my type, besides, she is dating my brother.

In all seriousness, that gets to the heart of the matter- anyone who has lived in WV for more than, say, an hour, has heard and probably made (as a matter of a defense mechanism) every incest joke you can think of already. While it was a a stupid thing to say and I expect every WV politician to denounce it, I am betting most of us don’t care what that corrupt old bastard has to say about us.

At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

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Reader Interactions

105Comments

  1. 1.

    johninpt

    June 2, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    Give him time.

  2. 2.

    Helena Handbag

    June 2, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    Any state that has given our culture the wonder that is “Tudor’s Biscuit World” should not have to tolerate disrespect from the likes of Darth Cheney. After his inevitable prosecution, I hope he has to serve his sentence in a federal penitentiary in West Virginia so West Virginians can come and throw rocks at him through the fence.

    If I had the money to open a few franchises of Biscuit World I could become the great biscuit mogul of Wisconsin. They would go so well with our cheese and beer. Mmmmm . . . biscuits.

  3. 3.

    Mike S

    June 2, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    Not sure why he wants to offend the last few members of his base, but if he wants to offend them he should have at it.

    Usually they attack CA so it is kind of nice to see him branching out.

  4. 4.

    El Cid

    June 2, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    He didn’t suggest they were “bitter”, so it’s not really newsworthy.

  5. 5.

    tBone

    June 2, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    … that we know of.

    Always a useful caveat when talking about Cheney.

  6. 6.

    srv

    June 2, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    I thought your sister used to read this blog…

  7. 7.

    evie

    June 2, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    OK, can anyone think, even for a second, about the shit-storm that would have hit had a Dem (or, horror of horrors, Obama himself) said this? I shudder.

    I. Shudder.

    Meanwhile, I expect nothing but crickets from the media since it only came out of the mouth of Vice President Dick “never-been-an-elitist” Cheney.

  8. 8.

    Davis X. Machina

    June 2, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    It’s not just West Virginia. Poorer parts of Maine — western, away from salt water, eastern everywhere — hears this stuff all the time. “Welcome to Sebago — 900 people, three last names”, e.g. The Appalachian Trail does, after all, end here, making us all kinfolk.

  9. 9.

    brandon

    June 2, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    No worries, I’m sure the West Virginia Republicans will be calling Cheney to apologize for their demands for apologies within a couple of days.

  10. 10.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    Poorer parts of Maine—western, away from salt water, eastern everywhere—hears this stuff all the time.

    Isn’t Maine also home to the Enoch jokes?

  11. 11.

    Octavian

    June 2, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    I don’t know, I thought it was hilarious. (Then again, I’m from New England). Too bad the guy’s a criminal and should be in prison right now.

  12. 12.

    slag

    June 2, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    ELITIST!

    *ahem* Cheney’s an elitist….just sayin’.

  13. 13.

    Tiparillo

    June 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Our Vice President is an out of touch eltist! He is condesending towards real Americans!

    I demand that John McCain denounce and reject these elitist comments.

    John McCain do you believe, as Vice President Cheney stated, that West Virginians are incest loving inbreeders?

  14. 14.

    Zifnab

    June 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Meanwhile, I expect nothing but crickets from the media since it only came out of the mouth of Vice President Dick “never-been-an-elitist” Cheney.

    Dude. It was in the Washington Post. Among other news outlets. Give credit where credit is due, at least.

    I don’t know if Drudge has his signature giant red flashing light with bulleyes, pointing arrows, and punch-the-monkey banners up, but then this story is hardly “developing” so who can blame him?

  15. 15.

    Barbara

    June 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Before the automobile your courting range was a one day round trip horse ride, which cut down on the dating pool considerably, especially in mountainous terrain. And WV is pretty mountainous and not well served by highways or the train so this “tradition” persisted a bit longer, I would guess. Plus, when your first wife died in childbirth, chances were good that her sister was already living with you, so you might as well go ahead and marry her. As a colleague from Kentucky once proudly told me, one of her grandmothers was a Creech who married a Brown, and her other grandmother was a Brown who married a Creech.

    Not that it’s like that now, of course. Which just shows how old Cheney is. Everyone knows that what West Virginia is really known for since the advent of the automobile is backyard junkyards.

  16. 16.

    Dug Jay

    June 2, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    I don’t know if it’s true or not – perhaps John could tell us – but I’ve always heard that when a couple get divorced from West Virginia, they are still legally first cousins under WV law.

  17. 17.

    John Cole

    June 2, 2008 at 6:40 pm

    Great, Dug Jay. Is that the best you got? here is one for you:

    Q: How is a tornado like a WV divorce?

    A: Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

  18. 18.

    Stevenovitch

    June 2, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    because Wyoming the source of all unassailable reproductive habits.

  19. 19.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    because Wyoming the source of all unassailable reproductive habits.

    You can tell a Wyoming cowboy by the fleece caught in his fly.

  20. 20.

    Tiparillo

    June 2, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.

  21. 21.

    Tiparillo

    June 2, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    What do you call a West Virginia virgin?

    A girl that can out run her brother

  22. 22.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    What’s the #1 hookup line in West Virginia?
    “Get in the truck, sis.”

  23. 23.

    Krista

    June 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Well, John Denver DID write a song about it.

    You know…

    “Take me home, country roads.
    To the place…I belong.
    West Virginia…Mountin’ Mama.
    Take me home…country roads.”

  24. 24.

    Wilfred

    June 2, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Speaking of the product of in-breeding:

    During a videoconference with his national security team and generals, Sanchez writes, Bush launched into what he described as a “confused” pep talk:
    “Kick ass!” he quotes the president as saying. “If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy, we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than hell! This Vietnam stuff, this is not even close. It is a mind-set. We can’t send that message. It’s an excuse to prepare us for withdrawal.” “There is a series of moments and this is one of them. Our will is being tested, but we are resolute. We have a better way. Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident! Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking!”

    It is a mind set.

  25. 25.

    Chris Andersen

    June 2, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of the politicos expressing “outrage” at Cheney’s joke have told similar jokes in the past.

    But then, I guess this might be a West Virginia version of only blacks can tell N-word jokes.

  26. 26.

    Cernig

    June 2, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    Suddenly I have that song in my head, “if you can see your unborn children in her eye…”

    Go on, get that mental image of Cheney out of your mind now, I dare ya :-)

  27. 27.

    demimondian

    June 2, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    What do you call a virgin from the Arkansas Ozarks?

    State Track Champion.

  28. 28.

    Tsulagi

    June 2, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    Just himself in the foot. But they ought to cut the old fat bastard some slack. Glaringly obvious during the past almost eight years his pacemaker doesn’t quite pump blood up to his brain. Either that or during one of his bypass operations they screwed up rerouting his blood supply to his ass.

    Q: How is a tornado like a WV divorce?

    A: Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

    That’s pretty good. But damn, you got some stiff competition from the frozen north…

    West Virginia…Mountin’ Mama.

  29. 29.

    cbear

    June 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    What’s the #1 hookup line in West Virginia?
    “Get in the truck, sis.”

    Definition of “safe sex” in WV (or TX,TN,AZ,NM,AL,etc.,etc)???

    Branding the sheep that kick.

  30. 30.

    Dan

    June 2, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    “in bed with my sister” – funny. I’m sure you know the best way to disarm is with hunor. Good for you.

  31. 31.

    Dan

    June 2, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Having said that, your web host appears to be the product of multiple generations of inbreeding.

  32. 32.

    Thelonius

    June 2, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    And just to show the bigotry of those Hollywood elites: CSI West Virginia

    At least he didn’t make a couch burning joke…

  33. 33.

    lutton

    June 2, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    The WV joke I like is “How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?”

    “Because elsewhere it would be the ‘teethbrush.'”

  34. 34.

    KCinDC

    June 2, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    West Virginia is not one of the states where you can marry your first cousin. New York, Massachusetts, and California are.

  35. 35.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    “Because elsewhere it would be the ‘teethbrush.’”

    That one was new to me so I told it to my wife (from West Virginia).

    She smiled.

    Maybe it was a grimace. Either way, there were no teeth missing.

  36. 36.

    lutton

    June 2, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Didn’t Rudy marry his cousin?

  37. 37.

    Arguing with signposts

    June 2, 2008 at 7:48 pm

    I heard the same jokes in South Carolina and rural parts of Texas and North Carolina. But WV does get a little more of the brunt, maybe because of their old slogan – “Open for Business.”

  38. 38.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 7:48 pm

    KO just reported that West Virginia Senator Donald Byrd was hospitalized after his caregiver found that he had a fever. The Senator was reported to be feeling lethargic and sluggish. I get a big kick out of Donald Byrd but, I do have to ask how you determine that a 90 year old is lethargic and sluggish.

  39. 39.

    dreggas

    June 2, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Q: How do you circumcize a west virginian?

    A: Kick his sister in the chin.

  40. 40.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    West Virginia is not one of the states where you can marry your first cousin. New York, Massachusetts, and California are.

    Fascinating link. My wife’s parents (West Virginians) were cousins and married in Virginia. I think I know why now. :)

    Hell, their grandparents were cousins too. My wife’s grandfather marrying outside of the family is probably the only thing that prevented my kids from being better swimmers.

  41. 41.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    dreggas Says:

    Must get melon scoop and gouge out the part of my brain that holds that image…

  42. 42.

    Kevin Hayden

    June 2, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    You liberals think you’re so smart. If it wasn’t for the kinfolk, what would you ‘spect us to do, cross state lines? Ain’t ya heered them Kentuckians’ll give ya fleas from all the gerbils?

  43. 43.

    Otto Man

    June 2, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Why do people in West Virginia like to do it doggy style?

    That way, they can both watch wrestlin’!

  44. 44.

    Jorge

    June 2, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    The only thing I truly like about Cheney is the fact that he could give a rat’s behind what anybody thinks. And come on, I’ve read the posts on this site, y’all gotta love someone who would tell a senator to f-himself on the floor of the senate.

  45. 45.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    The only thing I truly like about Cheney is the fact that he could give a rat’s behind what anybody thinks.

    He has all the roguish charm of the late John Wayne Gacy.

  46. 46.

    dreggas

    June 2, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Dennis – SGMM Says:

    dreggas Says:

    Must get melon scoop and gouge out the part of my brain that holds that image…

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

  47. 47.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    He has all the roguish charm of the late John Wayne Gacy.

    No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.

  48. 48.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.

    Famous too. Here’s that picture of him with Roslynn Carter.

  49. 49.

    cbear

    June 2, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.

    And, he seems to have been quite a talented painter. I wouldn’t be suprised to find that Big Dick was a devotee or a patron.

  50. 50.

    Dulcie

    June 2, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.

    Too bad he had that whole burying young men in the crawlspace problem.

  51. 51.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Too bad he had that whole burying young men in the crawlspace problem.

    Nobody’s perfect.

  52. 52.

    PK

    June 2, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    A miracle has occurred!
    Cheney has apologized for his remark. That is the quickest apology from anyone in this administration.

    Have thousands of people killed in a needless war-no problem.
    Joke about incesteous WVs-you are in real hot water.
    We live in a glorious country!

  53. 53.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Have thousands of people killed in a needless war-no problem.
    Joke about incesteous WVs-you are in real hot water.

    Iraq can’t go for the Democrats.

  54. 54.

    Dulcie

    June 2, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Nobody’s perfect.

    Indeed!

  55. 55.

    The Other Steve

    June 2, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    This makes him seem like an endearing local.

  56. 56.

    Ravi J

    June 2, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    Dick Cheney is the kind of child born when siblings get married to each other.

  57. 57.

    D-Chance.

    June 2, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    The old standby with Teddy Kennedy used to be “we’ll try not to drive off that bridge when we come to it”…

  58. 58.

    dreggas

    June 2, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    Dulcie Says:

    No matter what you think of John Wayne Gacy, he was a great entertainer and superb clown.

    Too bad he had that whole burying young men in the crawlspace problem.

    you don’t have to be afraid of the dead, it’s the living you need to worry about.

  59. 59.

    Dulcie

    June 2, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    you don’t have to be afraid of the dead, it’s the living you need to worry about.

    Dead doesn’t scare me. Live people are the ones who cause the problems – see Cheney, Dick

  60. 60.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar West Virginia State Lottery?

    The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

  61. 61.

    Sasha

    June 2, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    … that we know of.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate . . . .

  62. 62.

    gex

    June 2, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    So typical Republican. Step one: stereotype a group. Step two: insult group. Step three: profit!

    Seriously, my dad is a lifelong Republican. Originally born in China, he has internalized the inherent racism/xenophobia that seems to be prevalent in the part. When he retired and went to the Social Security office to fill out forms, his complaint upon returning was “all the damn foreigners” who were collecting *his* tax dollars.

    It never occurred to him that most people would look at him and think of him as one of those “damn foreigners.”

    Remember when Ken Melmen apologized for the GOP’s past use of racism for political gain? Let’s see them hold to their new standard in the general against Obama!

    Odd though for a Republican to attack West Virginia, though. I thought the GOP thought of these folks as the right kind of Americans.

  63. 63.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    I thought the GOP thought of these folks as the right kind of Americans.

    The GOP seems to have a lot of contempt for the American people generally.

  64. 64.

    Cyrus

    June 2, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    Tiparillo Says:

    What do you call a West Virginia virgin?

    A girl that can out run her brother

    LOL, I was going to post that same joke. I heard it pretty often growing up, but instead of “West Virginia,” it used the name of my hometown, just because the joker was a friend of mine not from that town.

    Even an evil stopped clock is right twice a day – the West Virginia luminaries demanding an apology for this mild, clichéd joke are being stupid. They probably don’t even believe it’s needed themselves, but they don’t want to endanger their seats on the Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors.

    That being said, I’m allowed to not give Cheney grudging respect for telling Leahy to fuck off, because he’s my Senator.

  65. 65.

    DougJ

    June 2, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    I’m not sure Big Time really meant any of this. I figure it’s just the arugula talking.

  66. 66.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    What do you call a West Virginia virgin?

    A girl that can out run her brother

    At least yer sister is cute in West Virginia, unlike in Pennsylvania.

  67. 67.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    I’m not sure Big Time really meant any of this.

    He had to apologize – too many people in WV to shoot.

  68. 68.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    He had to apologize – too many people in WV to shoot.

    He did threaten to bring democracy to them though.

  69. 69.

    William Franks

    June 2, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    Funny get a grip Gov. i was born and raised in WVa. I do family research. My family tree is a fence post.

  70. 70.

    jibeaux

    June 2, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    Every culture has to have some subset of people to represent the Polacks in Polack jokes. Until a better argument is made, W. Va. works o.k. for me. You *did* see the Democratic primary there, no? And the signs when you enter the state are: “West Virginia: Open for Business” (aka “Cletus needs a job”).

    Of course, the rafting, camping, skiing, hiking, etc. there are top notch. Great….family…activities.

  71. 71.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 2, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    Every culture has to have some subset of people to represent the Polacks in Polack jokes.

    When I lived up in Morro Bay, California, it was Portugee jokes.

  72. 72.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    He did threaten to bring democracy to them though.

    They will greet us as liberators with wildflowers. Even though it will be a cakewalk, I still say no blood for coal.

  73. 73.

    demimondian

    June 2, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar West Virginia State Lottery?

    The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

    They’re really not that stupid, you know — the smart ones all take a single payment of one and a half million dollars, delivered in the form of one million, fresh, crisp, one and a half dollar bills.

  74. 74.

    cbear

    June 2, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    “So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family and we don’t even live in West Virginia,” Cheney quipped.

    I think we’re all being much too hard on ‘Ol Dick.
    After having to hit that haggish harridan he calls a wife for 40+ years, I don’t see the harm in letting him indulge his WV incest fantasies.
    Plus, I imagine things got more than a little tense around the Cheney ranch when they had to embark on that forced-breeding = Vietnam deferments program in the 60’s.
    “Brace yourself, Lynne, I’m going in.”

  75. 75.

    GSD

    June 2, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Will John McAnger reject and repudiate this class warfare hatemongering?

    Waiting…….

    -GSD

  76. 76.

    WV Born and Bred

    June 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    I and all my cousins (who are also my in-laws, uncles, aunts, and siblings) would like to make it clear that we ain’t offended by his’n remark. In fact, since he has Cheneys on both sides of his family we would like to make him an honorary West Virginia citizen! (Sorry, Governor Joe everybody that I know thought the remark was funny!)

  77. 77.

    TenguPhule

    June 2, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    At least he didn’t shoot someone in the face this time.

    Viva Viagra….

  78. 78.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 2, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    Well, John Denver DID write a song about it.

    You know…

    “Take me home, country roads.
    To the place…I belong.
    West Virginia…Mountin’ Mama.
    Take me home…country roads.”

    Thanks Krista! I always wondered about that song, but I never could put my finger on what it was. “Mountin’ Mama” indeed!

    Of course, the rafting, camping, skiing, hiking, etc. there are top notch. Great….family…activities.

    I am not sure that rafting in WV is all that great. At least it wasn’t in the 70’s when Ned Beatty, Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight did a documentary about rafting in West Virginia.

  79. 79.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 2, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    At least it wasn’t in the 70’s when Ned Beatty, Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight did a documentary about rafting in West Virginia.

    lolz

  80. 80.

    kilo

    June 2, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Up here in Alberta, there are three famous cowboy lies:

    1) That there’s my Dodge 3/4-ton duallie four-by-four.

    2) I won this here belt buckle at the National Finals Rodeo.

    3) Honest, I was just pushin’ that sheep through the gate.

    You know why they call ’em rednecks?
    It’s as high as the blood goes.

    Y’er welcome. :)

  81. 81.

    ThymeZone

    June 3, 2008 at 12:16 am

    I personally think that WV should be made a state.

  82. 82.

    Rome Again

    June 3, 2008 at 12:17 am

    So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family

    So THAT’s what is wrong with him! I see now.

  83. 83.

    ThymeZone

    June 3, 2008 at 12:24 am

    Isn’t it time for our long national Cheney to be over?

  84. 84.

    Rome Again

    June 3, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Isn’t it time for our long national Cheney to be over?

    Hillary doesn’t seem to think so.

  85. 85.

    UnkyT

    June 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

    Cousins need lovin too!

    Although I would have bet that Cheney on Cheney love would produce the anti christ himself . . .

    How does that feel WV, being made fun of by Wyoming? Utah is laughing quietly in the corner lest someone notice and turn their attention to them.

  86. 86.

    Dennis - SGMM

    June 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

    The only possibly non-funny part is that Cheney has been given everything he wanted. From the “little” things like pardoning Scooter Libby to the big, ugly ones like the Unitary Executive and war with Iraq. Bombing Iran is the only thing left on his wish list.

  87. 87.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 3, 2008 at 12:45 am

    Although I would have bet that Cheney on Cheney love would produce the anti christ himself . . .

    And your point is? ;)

  88. 88.

    DaveA

    June 3, 2008 at 1:35 am

    At least it wasn’t in the 70’s when Ned Beatty, Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight did a documentary about rafting in West Virginia.

    No! it was in Newt Gingrich country, Georgia.

  89. 89.

    Mike

    June 3, 2008 at 1:43 am

    How do you identify a body in West Virginia?

    You can’t. No dental records, and the DNA is all the same.

  90. 90.

    Blue Raven

    June 3, 2008 at 2:00 am

    As a colleague from Kentucky once proudly told me, one of her grandmothers was a Creech who married a Brown, and her other grandmother was a Brown who married a Creech.

    Geez. I’m from Massachusetts, and my father had two sisters who married a father and son.

  91. 91.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 3, 2008 at 4:21 am

    The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.

    “Want to go in the back seat?” she asked.

    “No,” he replied.

    A few minutes later she asked, “Now do you want to get in the back seat?”
    “No,” he said again, “I wanna stay here in the front seat with you.”

    ===

    Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?

    There’s nothing worth crapping on.

    ===

    What do West Virginians do on Halloween?

    They pump-kin.

    ===

    A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw two men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?”

    The men replied, “Sumt’n ta screw.”

  92. 92.

    Thomas Smith

    June 3, 2008 at 4:52 am

    Conservatively Liberal Says:

    A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to. He saw two men sitting on a porch and said, “I’m moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?” The men answered, “Go hunt’n, kill things, ‘n screw”. He then asked, “What do you hunt and kill?”

    The men replied, “Sumt’n ta screw.”

    Sorry son, you just don’t know how to tell a good wva joke.
    Allow me.

    Feller was drivin thru town, city boy, drivin one of them japanese cars, had a sweater tied around his shoulders fer some reason, stopped down ther at Harriets place, probably checking out her giant red underpants hangin on the line, you know, them city boys aint never seen the like, cityboy asks ol’ Bob somethin about, “I’m a homosexual and would like to have buttsex”.
    Well ol’ Bob he thought that was damn funny, said, “Why you want to be around here, city feller?”
    City feller says,”Because it seems a good investment, i could probably buy this shack and flip it real quick, make a pile.”
    Ol’ Bob, rocks back on his chair and looks at ol’ Bud an an says, “City feller said, ‘Make a pile!'” Ol Bob and ol’ Bud have a good laugh about thet.

    City feller drives on back to DC and tells his homo friends, “They done me like Ned Beatty up there”.

  93. 93.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 3, 2008 at 5:44 am

    I like it when people drop in and share some of their personal experiences in life with us.

    Thanks for sharing your story Thomas, we are all the richer for it.

  94. 94.

    jake

    June 3, 2008 at 5:56 am

    Don’t worry West Virginians, in the heartland of America people subject the great state of Kinfucky the same disrespectful treatment.

  95. 95.

    Conservatively Liberal

    June 3, 2008 at 6:36 am

    Every state has its jokes, nobody escapes unscathed in the good ol’ US of A. We are equal opportunity offenders. Hell, states even have east/west and/or north/south jokes within their own borders.

    In the end, we are all the butt of joke by someone, somewhere.

  96. 96.

    Glocksman

    June 3, 2008 at 7:48 am

    Here’s the first verse from the Indiana state anthem:

    I’m a danger to myself and others.
    Yes, my cousins are also my brothers. :)

  97. 97.

    ET

    June 3, 2008 at 8:32 am

    Well I am from Louisiana and we get the being a little too friendly with the relatives thing all the time because cousins of some degree can marry.

  98. 98.

    RSA

    June 3, 2008 at 8:57 am

    Cheney has apologized for his remark. That is the quickest apology from anyone in this administration.

    True. . . On the other hand, sometimes I think it would be nice to be in such a position that I could say whatever kind of shit I felt like, and then have a spokesperson apologize on my behalf. Like Cheney.

  99. 99.

    grandpajohn

    June 3, 2008 at 9:03 am

    No! it was in Newt Gingrich country, Georgia.

    Actually it was filmed on the Chattooga river which is designated as a national wild and scenic river and forms the border line between the northern most parts of Georgia and South Carolina and is considered as one of the premier whitewater rides in the eastern US

  100. 100.

    grumpy realist

    June 3, 2008 at 9:05 am

    Yeah, about the only reason I didn’t grow up hearing jokes about the “backwoods people” is we’re having too much fun picking on the people in Noo Yawk City.

    And EVERYBODY picks on the New Englanders. (Can we at least get people to stop calling Massachusetts “Taxachusetts”, given that quite a few red states have higher state taxes?)

    Some of my friends at 3M gave me a book “How to Speak Minnasotan”. I read it and told them:”yup, just like us New Englanders, except we’re not so gabby.”

    Lutefisk jokes, anyone?

  101. 101.

    Jamey

    June 3, 2008 at 9:24 am

    i was born and raised in WVa. I do family research. My family tree is a fence post.

    Funny, the typical WVa family tree is a wreath.

  102. 102.

    Gus

    June 3, 2008 at 10:07 am

    Every culture has to have some subset of people to represent the Polacks in Polack jokes.

    In Northern Minnesota it’s Finns. There a million Eino and Toivo jokes.

  103. 103.

    Krista

    June 3, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Every culture has to have some subset of people to represent the Polacks in Polack jokes.

    True. The jokes about Newfoundlanders have traditionally flown thick and fast around Atlantic Canada. (Which is unfair, as Newfoundlanders are really some of the most awesome, generous, warm-hearted people you’d ever want to meet.)

  104. 104.

    Lil Sis' D. Cole (Academic All American in X-country-Fer real)

    June 3, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    Pshaw, Jay-Gee. Ain’t it about time you tell them nice folks the reel truth?

    For the record, WV has KICK ASS rafting/boating- Check out the Gauley River, the Cheat, the Sandy, the New…

    http://www.americanwhitewater.org/content/River_state-summary_state_WV_

    Ass fer them WV Jokes- y’all relly no yer frum WV when:
    1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
    2. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
    3. You measure distance in minutes.
    4. You know several people who have hit a deer.
    5. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
    6. Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies.
    7. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to fix dinner.
    8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (And your car as well!)
    9. You carry jumper cables in your car …for your OWN car.
    10. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
    11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
    12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
    13. The local carwash is the town hang out spot
    14. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
    15. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as “goin wal-martin”or off to “Wally World.”
    16. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as “biscuits n’ gravy”).
    17. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from WV

    (Jokes frum JibJab)

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Cheney Disses West Virginia | Comments from Left Field says:
    June 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    […] Dick Cheney’s West Virginia incest joke elicits this response from John Cole, a West Virginia native: I got about eight instant messages from people linking to this, and I would have posted something earlier but I was in bed with my sister. Just kidding, just kidding- that was a joke. Everyone who knows me is aware she isn’t my type, besides, she is dating my brother. […]

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