Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

In my day, never was longer.

The revolution will be supervised.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Let there be snark.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

I really should read my own blog.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Infrastructure week. at last.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

You are here: Home / Sports / Dear Red Wings

Dear Red Wings

by | 65 Comments

This post is in: 

I want to congratulate you on the great race you have run, and it was an honor competing against you in the Stanley Cup. However, I want you to know that a lot of Penguins fans, in the millions, all over the country, supported us this season, and I am just not ready to make a decision tonight. Also, I would like to point out that we performed much better in our home games, and thus the away game structure of the Detroit games were systematically unfair. I would like all our fans to go to our web site and tell us what they think we should do.

A lot of pundits are asking, what does Sidney Crosby want? Well, I will tell you. A few more assists, maybe a hat trick or two, but most of all, some respect for the fans. So while it was fun playing against you, we need some time to think, and I think in the interest of fairness, we may need to play another game to really settle this.

*** Update ***

I would like to note we are open to talks about being Vice-Stanley Cup winners.

Reader Interactions

65Comments

  1. 1.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Haha.

    What’s up with that last line though John? Have you totally drank the Red Wings spiny jism???

  2. 2.

    VC71

    Yes Wings win the 11th time for the Stanley Cup … but the Pens made it much harder than we wanted it to be. Mich and Penn will unite for an Obama victory in Nov 2008!

  4. 4.

    furrythug

    u know crosby really wants … to be vice con smythe trophy winner … to unite the league … ftw!!

  5. 5.

    passerby

    Sorry John.

    A gracious bow out tho. I don’t know hockey, I’m football and tennis. Perhaps I’ll learn the rules and be a Pens fan for next season.

    In breaking news:

    The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the word from the Obama camp is that a joint ticket is unlikely:

    Close supporters suggested she would like to be his running mate, on a unity ticket.

    But close advisers to Sen. Obama signaled an Obama-Clinton ticket was highly unlikely. People in both camps cited what several called “a deal-breaker” — Bill Clinton may balk at releasing records of his business dealings and big donors to his presidential library.

    Let me repeat: “…Bill Clinton may balk at releasing records of his business dealings and big donors to his presidential library.”

    Bloody brilliant way out of that squeeze play!

    T

    /grinning ear to ear

  6. 6.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    The Pens have finally found their voice! Now the series is going to get good.

  11. 11.

    Warren Terra

    If this championship had been decided the way they NFL decides their championshops, the Penguins would have won the series more than a week ago!

    (disclaimer: I don’t actually have any notion who won game 1).

  12. 12.

    r€nato

    Bloody brilliant way out of that squeeze play!

    absolutely. There was NO WAY Clinton was/is going to get the #2 spot. No. Way.

    Only Republican dead-enders want to have this election be another referendum on the Clintons. It was McCain’s only hope.

  13. 13.

    passerby

    Go MoDo. nice rendering of a probable reality.

    Bill Clinton: Bill arrives two hours late, red-faced and truculent.

    Schadenfreude!

    T

    p.s. The Pens have found their voice? Sweet.

  15. 15.

    DP

    Ok, this was funny like the first 3 or 4 times. . .

    I am bummed though, I was rooting for the pens and was really hoping for a game 7.

  18. 18.

    Brachiator

    I would like to note we are open to talks about being Vice-Stanley Cup winners.

    Yes! Well done.

    But close advisers to Sen. Obama signaled an Obama-Clinton ticket was highly unlikely. People in both camps cited what several called “a deal-breaker”—Bill Clinton may balk at releasing records of his business dealings and big donors to his presidential library.

    It is just amazing how Obama manages to outwit the Clintons with a finesse move whenever they try to strong-arm him. Some people never learn.

  19. 19.

    Warren Terra

    I found that MoDo column so frustrating … for the first time I could remember, a columnist with a really important platform says that the Clintons have absolutely not been vetted … and it’s MoDo writing in her catty fashion and putting words in peoples’ mouths and thoughts in peoples’ heads and just for a bonus putting out this ‘Michelle Obama is scary’ notion for no good reason.

    So the column, predictably, had precisely no impact. Whereas the same key ideas about actual existing time bombs in a Clinton candidacy, written about responsibly, could perhaps have influenced the debate.

    Notice how much impact the quite lousy, but better, Todd Purdum piece has had, after all.

  20. 20.

    r€nato

    …you know when McCain gets pasted by Obama this fall, it’s gonna be awesome watching the GOP devour itself. The establishment righties are going to be like, “OK McCain, we shut up and gave you your chance and you blew it. Clearly what we need is MORE right-wing orthodoxy, MORE neo-conservatism, a REAL panderer to the base, not someone who fakes it!”

    It’s going to be an all-out war on the Right. I am stocking up on crates of popcorn.

  21. 21.

    passerby

    Mark Penn-guins? Huh? Huh? Points for trying?

    Ok Punchy, 3 points for trying…

    and minus 4 points for asking for points.

    T

  22. 22.

    Big E

    well, kudos to the Wings,..Pens made it an entertaining series.
    Clinton’s are in the Toronto war room right now demanding that all Wings goals be reviewed and denied.

  23. 23.

    emptywheel

    Well, it’s a good thing that happened tonight, because we here in MI were working on declaring Game 5 invalid because it wasn’t a fair reflection of the preferences of the voters–we were going to take that last goal and award it to the Wings.

  25. 25.

    Ditch Digger

    I’ll bet all the Conn Smythe sportingdelegates were relieved to see Bettman finally award the Cup to the Wings. They had been waiting to cast their ballot for Zetterberg since the series was at a near insurmountable 3-1 lead and their was no historically mathematical way the Pens could come back and win.

  26. 26.

    bad dad

    Does Bettman get real nervous at these trophy presentations or are those Parkinson’s style tremors?

  27. 27.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    I

    would like to note we are open to talks about being Vice-Stanley Cup winners.

    Oh, please! You don’t you don’t even get a say in the Con Smythe winner.

    BTW I’m still shocked it wasn’t 4-0. Props to your boys.

  28. 28.

    Graeme

    Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. 29.

    TheFountainHead

    Stephen Colbert just literally used McCain’s Green Jello background as a green screen. I believe he’s also setting it up on his website so you can put anything you want behind John McCain. Great stuff.

  30. 30.

    Rick Taylor

    Well, it’s a good thing that happened tonight, because we here in MI were working on declaring Game 5 invalid because it wasn’t a fair reflection of the preferences of the voters—we were going to take that last goal and award it to the Wings.

    That game was called invalid, don’t you remember? Cancelled on account of the weather. The Wings didn’t even show up, and the Penguins scored their goals unopposed. Frankly there was no way you could have scored that game fairly, so i think the refs were generous giving the Penguins credit for a victory at all.

  31. 31.

    Tom

    Sorry, but though a Californian I grew up in Michigan. Yesterday Obama, today the Red Wings…life is good.

    And, sorry for not giving Penguins fans space to grieve. I guess I could have waited for an actual concession before posting this, though perhaps not before opening up some wine.

  32. 32.

    Rick Taylor

    Al Giordano has a summary of what happened this week, and an explanation of why Clinton leaked her plans to concede on Friday (and why the Friday date). It’s a pity, she had a singular chance to unite the Democratic party, burnish her own reputation, and cover those of us who were cynical about her in mud. But she couldn’t resist keeping the game going, and the opportunity was lost. Oh well.

    Why Friday? That was the deadline day that DNC Chairman Howard Dean, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had signaled to the remaining 119 undeclared superdelegates that they should get off the fence and announce their preference. With more than 100 of them breaking for Obama over the past 36 hours, including four more members of the “Cardoza 40″ that had originally endorsed Clinton but agreed to switch to Obama (the latest: political bigfeet Senator Barbara Boxer and US Rep. Maxine Waters), the only way for Clinton to stem the bleeding was to leak news of her Friday exit today. Now, most of them will courteously remain quiet until Clinton makes her exit official.

    . . .

    Clinton, today, was facing imminent political humiliation: the pending defection by 100 more of the superdelegates that had endorsed her, many who had done so in 2007 when it had been merely politically expedient and considered a safe bet, many out of a sincere change of opinion over who is the better candidate, many out of a desire to unite behind the obvious Democratic nominee, and some out of sweat-breaking fear for their reelection campaigns and possible primary challengers now that their constituents are so passionately in favor of Obama. Rangel merely said aloud what so many have been distraught about behind the scenes.

    Clinton’s gamble last night – to jerk everyone’s chains just one more time instead of gracefully backing the nominee – which she mistakenly thought would be a demonstration of strength in fact turned out to highlight a major weakness. The tall suggestion that when people cast a vote for for her that they therefore signed up for duty behind every other ambition or agenda she might later desire revealed, again, the stunning hubris that was the downfall of the formerly front-running presidential candidate.

  33. 33.

    b. hussein canuckistani

    The only reason anyone thought the Penguins had any credibility was that they were married to the Canadiens when they were Stanley Cup winners.

    So who’s up for table hockey?

  34. 34.

    passerby

    Renato said:

    “Only Republican dead-enders want to have this election be another referendum on the Clintons. It was McCain’s only hope.”

    How about this for a probable reality:

    Clinton claims many of her supporters have informed her that they will vote McCain since she’s not the nominee.

    She uses this as a reason to convert to the Republican Party and join the ticket as McCain’s VP.

    Of course this would be done in the spirit of “reaching out” and “uniting this country”.

    Given all the stroking Hillary and John have done for each other, hell, they need to get a room already anyway.

    It’s going to be a long summer and I don’t trust the Clintons as far as I can throw the Clintons. [Besides, the Bilderberg group is meeting outside DC this weekend–We the People have gotten a bit uppity lately and I’m sure they have a lot to discuss.]

    T

    /blockquote no worky

  36. 36.

    passerby

    Phoenix Woman:

    As someone on this site observed: he pissed in their tent.

    Bold, politically savvy, alpha dog.

    Barack Obama/2008

    T

  37. 37.

    Brachiator

    well, kudos to the Wings,..Pens made it an entertaining series.

    And Nicklas Lidstrom made hockey history by becoming the first European captain to hoist the Stanley Cup.

    And he is not Muslim … as far as I know.

  38. 38.

    grumpy realist

    I’d almost wish that McCain WOULD chose Hillary as VP, just to watch the total conniptions in the Right Blogosphere.

  39. 39.

    Janefinch

    LOLOL….it would be even funnier if it wasn’t the true thinking of far too many otherwise-sensible Americans.

  40. 40.

    passerby

    But Janefinch, it is funny for exactly that reason.

    How often do we wish the world would think in a rational fashion.

    It doesn’t.

    From my view (and probably yours) the world is a non-thinking place. Fervent Hillary supporters are ground in shallow, emotional lives. That’s why these political tactics work (on them).

    The “probable reality” that I have put forth can exist because a lot of people have allowed a ring to be put thru their noses. (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

    T

  42. 42.

    Rome Again

    Besides, the Bilderberg group is meeting outside DC this weekend—We the People have gotten a bit uppity lately and I’m sure they have a lot to discuss

    Thanks for the heads up, I like to have a clue what those people are up to, they make me nervous.

  43. 43.

    Glenn Fayard

    Penguins machine just got started (seriously, I mean for the next couple of years).
    They just got blitzed in the first two games before playing razor-edge close with DEM RED WANGS~!
    Also, Henrik Zetterburg is not only awesome, he’s CM Punk from ECW with a beard. This must be an angle.

  44. 44.

    flyerhawk

    John,

    Truly outstanding. I wish to someday have your skills in the art of sarcasm.

  45. 45.

    Rick Massimo

    This is unfair. The Penguins actually showed up at the rink and played Game 6 at 7 o’clock this morning. They won 114-0. The Red Wings weren’t there, but nothing says they couldn’t have shown up.

    You’re not going to invalidate the Pens’ win, are you? After they showed up and put their uniforms on and skated and shot, you can’t deny them!

    COUNT EVERY GOAL!

    GAME SEVEN! GAME SEVEN!

    I’ll watch basketball if you don’t!

  46. 46.

    jack fate

    If only they would consider the shots on goal and scoring opportunities when deciding the victor. Truly a disregard for the effort and drive of a hardworking team, who’s ONLY sin was losing four times. I hate to inform the pundits and naysayers, but it’s a seven game series. It says so right in the rule book.

    Hang tight gang.

    (BTW, is there a place to vote for the Post of the Year?)

  49. 49.

    Pooh

    The sound you hear is all of us not laughing at was is, one day on, a completely played out joke.

  51. 51.

    Thomas Smith

    bago Says:
    Wonkette reports that Hillary conceeded in an email to her supporters.

    Am i the only one who wishes the comentary here was as witty as on wonkette?
    Tits.

  52. 52.

    Thomas Smith

    passerby Says:

    How about this for a probable reality:

    Clinton claims many of her supporters have informed her that they will vote McCain since she’s not the nominee.

    She uses this as a reason to convert to the Republican Party and join the ticket as McCain’s VP.

    Of course this would be done in the spirit of “reaching out” and “uniting this country”.

    Given all the stroking Hillary and John have done for each other, hell, they need to get a room already anyway.

    It’s going to be a long summer and I don’t trust the Clintons as far as I can throw the Clintons. [Besides, the Bilderberg group is meeting outside DC this weekend—We the People have gotten a bit uppity lately and I’m sure they have a lot to discuss.]

    How about this, the Illuminati offer up McCain as a sacrificial lamb this time, knowing that its all going to crap and 4 years down the road, when the economy collapses and the JimmyCarteresque dude gets blamed for it, they step up with some photgeneic actor as saviour and own the world for 8 years?
    I know it sound silly, but think about it…

  53. 53.

    "Fair and Balanced" Dave

    I’d almost wish that McCain WOULD chose Hillary as VP, just to watch the total conniptions in the Right Blogosphere.

    The conniptions of the wingnutosphere would be nothing compared to the hissy fit Joe Lieberman will throw for being thrown over after all the McCain ass-kissing he’s done.

  54. 54.

    Kathy

    I was too beat last night after the game to make this comment but I just wanted to make the observation that the Penguins fans showed a great deal of class last night. Not only did they stay to watch the cup being awarded but there was even a smattering of applause. If this happened in Philly the place would have emptied out in 10 seconds with a few left just to throw things at everyone. Job well done Pittsburgh. (this is completely sincere- no snark intended).

  55. 55.

    b. hussein canuckistani

    I missed the end of the game. Did any octopodes make the trip from Detroit to end up on the ice?

  56. 56.

    Rome Again

    How about this, the Illuminati offer up
    McCain as a sacrificial lamb this time,
    knowing that its all going to crap and
    4 years down the road, when the economy
    collapses and the JimmyCarteresque dude
    gets blamed for it, they step up with
    some photgeneic actor as saviour and
    own the world for 8 years?
    I know it sound silly, but think about it…

    Ummm, sorry, but no! The Illuminati has been
    banking on McCain (son of Cain) for longer
    than he has been born into this earthly body.

    He is their shining star! Go figure.

    Unrelated: Was reading Taylor Marsh, all of
    her supporters are leaving :(
    Many looked to be Operation Chaos “I’m voting
    for McCain” spoofs.

    Also unrelated: WTF is up with the spacing on
    this site in the last couple of days?

  57. 57.

    Rome Again

    The Illuminati has been
    banking on McCain

    I made a funny and didn’t even realize it.

    Adam Wieshaupt would be proud!

  58. 58.

    Darkness

    Honestly, I’d have given Fleury the trophy, and I’m a wings fan. Fleury was indisputably the only reason the pens got that far, especially to game 6. So credit for an exciting series goes to him more than anyone else.

  59. 59.

    SoCalJustice

    They read this on my local sports radio show in Washington DC – heard it during my commute.

    Too funny.

    Nice work, John!

    Sorry about the cup. But this team should have many more chances in the near future.

    Congrats to Sweden’s national team, er, I mean the Red Wings!

  60. 60.

    Graeme

    I think these two teams will get to know one another pretty well over the next few years. In fact, when I go to cash in my ticket on the Wings to win, I may just put some action on the Pens to take it in 2009…

    Either way, it’s nice to see Detroit is still at it with a (mostly) new cast of characters in a post-strike environment. Way cool.

    Also, living in SF, I can listen to games on internet radio. The NFL no longer allows that, so I’m letting my football allegiances go. Hockey is the better game, anyway.

    Yeah – I’ll leave it to the Don Cherrys of the world to figure out what the win means. Does it signal a transition to a Euro-dominated game? Or is it simply one year where the North American (er… Canadian) style lost out?

  61. 61.

    DMD

    How about this, the Illuminati offer up McCain as a sacrificial lamb this time, knowing that its all going to crap and 4 years down the road, when the economy collapses and the JimmyCarteresque dude gets blamed for it, they step up with some photgeneic actor as saviour and own the world for 8 years?
    I know it sound silly, but think about it…

    Who would that photogenic Republican actor be? Fred Thompson/Ron Silver 2012?

  62. 62.

    Tax Analyst

    No, John – I just don’t see the Penguins as a good Vice-Stanley pick.

    May I suggest a Hockey Ambassador-ship in, say, Guatemala? I’m sure they would do a pucking great job down there.

  63. 63.

    LanceThruster

    The Pens have scored more points than any hockey team in history including the Red Wings and it would not be in the interest of the over 18 million Penguin fans to not demand the Stanley Cup be presented to them based on their clearly greater experience in taking on the other championship team in next years championship. You play the game at 3am and see who skates better.

    Also, if you awarded points based on the distance skated, minutes in the penalty box, hackneyed sports cliches used, and multiplied it by the the decibels of the CHEERING fans, rather than the tired and misogynist patriarchal standards of the numebr of times the puck went into the net within the proscribed time period (that is unless you’re willing to include our warm-up shots – COUNT *EVERY* GOAL! COUNT *EVERY* GOAL!! COUNT *EVERY* GOAL!!!), then you would clearly see that we are the team with the most “championability.”

    1999 Penguin draft pick Darcy Robinson did not die until Sept 21, 2007, so no matter what the sportscaster say, there’s no reason for us to drop out and relinquish our claim to the cup prematurely.

    Pittsburg Penguins – “Ready to Score on Day One!”

  64. 64.

    LanceThruster

    Also,

    We beat “The Mighty Ducks” of the San Juan Youth League and even though they can’t play in the NHL, that should count for something.

  65. 65.

    Andy K

    John, your Pens are more important in their present position. If elevated to Vice Champion, who would keep the Flyers from defeating our shared vision of beautiful hockey? No, keep your seat in the Eastern Conference. That august body requires your leadership.

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