“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”
“Why, what did she tell you?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”
LanceThruster
One of my favorite quotes of all time.
Dreggas
In a sign of the apocalypse Vern Troyer aka Mini-me has made a porn movie.
Brachiator
Notes on the recession: I recently ordered a pastrami sandwich from a neighborhood restaurant that I love to support. For the first time ever, I couldn’t finish the sandwich because the meat was obviously second rate. The eatery cannot raise prices (as lame asses often believe) because of competitive pressures. So he has laid off some staff and purchased some meats from lesser sources (but he is famous for his Middle Eastern style chicken dishes and has not skimped on the quality of poultry).
A fellow commuter noted that she recently moved 2 hours (by train) from her job. Her old home was closer to work. But she was the only person who owned her house and still lived in it. Others had moved away and rented their homes (couldn’t sell them in a down market). Unfortunately, some of the renters were unsavory. Some my commute buddy found that the only affordable property was in the suburbs. I emphasize this last point because there are some pinheads who think that people have an obligation to live in high density neighborhoods close to jobs. These people don’t understand the vagaries of the real world and the compromises that people make in order to live their lives as well as they can.
The problems with the economy is much more than GDP numbers and the Dow Jones Average. Whoever is elected president (Obama) is going to have to move beyond the simplistic ideology and uninspired thinking that makes up most of the commentary and suggestions about the economy.
Oh yeah,
“Open the pod bay doors, HAL.”
LanceThruster
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you’re out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it’s free. You don’t have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it’s free, then I ain’t stealin’.
jake
Mini-Meat.
jibeaux
In a sign of the apocalypse Vern Troyer aka Mini-me has made a porn movie.
This didn’t already happen when John Wayne Bobbitt made a porn?
Kit Smith
“Ford,” he said, “you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
Zifnab
I always assumed that’s where he started.
srv
No ice at the North Pole this summer.
My mother told me that Republicans were all greedy, evil sons-of-bitches.
I’m always right because I listened. May my kids grow up reading National Geographics that show Republicans starving.
skippy
skippy writes nbc’s chuck todd, abc’s jake tapper and latimes’ andrew malcolm, asking why obama’s use of the presidential seal as a prototype for his campaign logo is worthy of derision, but mccain and the repubbblicans’ use of the same seal for the same purpose is not worthy of even a mention.
email addys included so you can write your own inquiries to the press!
Andy
I really miss him, Kurt Vonnegut, and George Carlin.
wasabi gasp
Opportunity will move out of the way to let a man pass it by.
demimondian
“I’m sorry. I can’t do that, Dave.”
Brachiator
I wonder what either of these two would make of Barack Obama and his wife being coerced into giving money to the already wealthy Clintons ($109 million, baby!) in order to mollify narcissistic Clinton supporters (Obama-Clinton Meeting Fest):
All of you who have been clutching your pearls over Obama’s FISA statements should be redirecting your ire toward the unhinged Clinton supporters intent on seeing Obama bow down before The Candidate Formerly Known as Her Inevitable-ness.
I’m sure that the money that the Obamas kicked in could have been better spent taking care of their children instead of being wasted in a symbolic gesture meant to assuage Clinton Loonies.
The Bearded Blogger
Forty-two
GoMS
Ford: We’re in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.
b. hussein canuckistani
Awesome quote, but it is improved by the preceding lines. I don’t quite recall exactly, but something like
Arthur: So this is it. We’re going to die.
Ford: Yes. No! Wait! What’s that switch?
Arthur: What? Where?
Ford: I was just kidding. We are going to die after all.
Br'er Bear
Jake, FTW.
MobiusKlein
DON’T PANIC
(from the book, not the movie or tv show or the Infocom version.)
Just put on your peril sensitive sunglasses
Incertus
Dobson’s gearing up to embrace McCain, no matter what he said earlier this year.
“Not again.”
Brachiator
Oh, yeah…
Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
Ninerdave
Yeah, you can. It’s alright, I won’t hold it against you.
Mike D.
“So that’s it. We’re really going to die this time.”
“I wish you’d stop saying that!”
“We are, though, aren’t we?”
“Yes!”
(Abuse of double-quotes with kind permission of WaPo’s Robert “Naval Intelligence ROTC” Redford, who is even now obtaining precise transcriptions of B. Obama’s internal monologue, complete with footnotes that don’t _even_ point to a single possible “off the record” source.)
(N.B. Unless you poke him in the nut sack with an ice pick every three seconds, you’re on the record with Robert “Night Court is My Shizzit Yo” Redford of the WaPo. Prospective whistleblowers skip bewaring, and visit the tombs of previous whistleblowers instead. Six months after American CEO B.H. Obama takes the oath, the first brave tell-all will hit the shelves. Mark your calendars and make your bets.)
nogo war
Hmmm
why do I have an image of Bush/McCain here?
Trillian: You idiot! You signed the order to destroy Earth!
Zaphod: I did?
Arthur: He did?
Trillian: Love and kisses Zaphod? You didn’t even read it, did you?
Zaphod: Well, I’m president, I don’t have a lot of time for reading.
Trillian: My whole planet destroyed because you thought someone wanted your autograph!
TenguPhule
You are eaten by a Grue.
Mike D.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. Bay-tul-goyse! Not fucking Beetle Juice! Assholes! Go deafen yourselves with the sound of Q-wing fighters exploding in deep space, why don’t you!
I’ll see you in Hell, George Lucas… I guess I’ll see Doug Adams in Hell too, but they serve gin and tonic along the Ditch of Suicides, while those condemned to the Ditch of Corrupted Elemental Physics are doomed to eat dogshit forever, and frankly I couldn’t care less about the Copyright Defender with a Thousand Names… yo, George, have a packet of synthetic sweetener, why don’t you…
D-Chance.
So how’s that alternative energy plan working?
Not… too… good.
Faced with a surge in the number of proposed solar power plants, the federal government has placed a moratorium on new solar projects on public land until it studies their environmental impact, which is expected to take about two years.
Now, about those wind farms…
aka The Hammer
With an host of furious fancies
whereof I am commander,
with a burning spear and a horse of air
to the wilderness I wander.
By a knight of ghosts and shadows
I summoned am to tourney
Ten leagues beyond the wild world’s end,
methinks it is no journey.
T o’B
Bowl of Petunias
Oh no, not again!
Paul Weimer
Zaphod as envisioned in the movie definitely seems to me to be a cross between the worst aspects of President Bush and former President Clinton.
montysano
This excellent Kos diary about FISA, written by a lawyer, puts to rest this idiocy about BO’s “betrayal”.
The gist:
Dork
Can I haz reel s70ck mark3t 2day?
401K kalld 911 y3sturdae.
Mike D.
Sticking with the “see you in Hell” theme, um, pucketa pucketa pucketa… yeah, you guys who, whatever reason, no blame cast, couldn’t un-ass your 401k three years ago? Yeeeaaah… sorry about that. We’re gonna need you to come in for a few hours off the clock on Saturday… FOREVER.
Seriously, the fuck? Yeah, Ron Paul is kuh-ray-zee with the precious metals and the oy glavin, but for real, if you don’t know who the “greater fool” is by now, I have zero sympathy. I’m two degrees from six different families who lost their entire intestinal tract to Enron, but fuck, at least they didn’t chase after the hearse trying to double down on pieces of the deceased. Some might call it dignity, but close observation makes me think it’s something more concrete than that.
TheFountainHead
Maybe Eric at TheRedState should purchase one to run his site?
Dennis - SGMM
Photoshop + time on my hands = McCain as Blofeld. Inspired by McCain’s “Dr. No” ad.
Karmakin
What montysano said. (or quoted)
I’ll just add that I have severe doubts that battle over delinking FISA wiretaps from general information databases will ever happen. I think that more or less, most people think that’s a pretty good idea, and as they’ll never be the target of a FISA wiretap, it doesn’t apply to them. It’s not even so much that I think that establishment Democrats don’t want that fight, I don’t think those that are pushing against the current bill want it either.
Re: Adams.
It’s interesting people mixing quotes from the movie with quotes from the books :). Quite a few people really don’t like the movie. I loved it myself. But the critics were right. It did have a much different tone than the original books. Much lighter and much less cynical, and blamed it on the person who finished the script after Adams’ unfortunate demise. Which really wasn’t the case, as
#1. Adams wasn’t nearly as cynical as when he wrote the original radio play, and that change of tone went into everything he did.
#2. He also had absolutely no qualms about changing the story to fit the medium. Remember, long before the Hollywood movie there was a radio series, a book series, a computer game and a TV movie, all with major changes in each version.
cleek
go watch Wolcott disembowel Cohen. then follow his tag to an epic Somerby rant about the media’s adulation of Tim Russert. whew, those two can write!
Walker
All versions — radio (the original), book, TV miniseries, movie, and game — all substantially deviate from one another after Milliways. I found the new material in the movie to be much superior to the old material. But then, it is hard to tell if that is because it was better, or if the old material has just been done much better in previous mediums.
Dan
Re: Tim’s “Your Government In A Nutshell” post earlier the Democrats seem to have forgotten who their friends are.
Sasha
Always loved that exchange. Deeply annoyed they didn’t include it in the movie.
Jay
Any Len Bias fans out there? This piece about the late baller (http://tinyurl.com/5opyu7) shows that sportswriting occasionally counts as actual journalism.
Also, Rebecca Romjin once said that Verne Troyer is quite the player.
DonnaInMichigan
Last night on the way home from work, I seen the sign at our local Burger King..2 Whoppers for $3.98. I thought it was a pretty good deal, and since theres a heat wave here in Michigan, I opted out of cooking dinner for hubby and I and just grabbed a couple of whoppers and fries, and of course DIET cokes..(LOL)
And as I opened up my whopper, I wondered, when could you hold a whopper in only one hand? Remember their slogan years ago, it takes two hands to handle a whopper? Remember how big they were years ago? When did the shrink them? And why didn’t my whopper, look like the one in the commercial? It was slopped together, with a little bit of lettuce, two itty bitty tomatoes….and yet, they cost double the price.
I want the whopper that resembles the one in the picture on the menu board!!!
Dulcie
Excellent links, cleek. Loved the Howler takedown of the cult of Tim Russert.
Mike D.
Oh wow, the much-threatened Hitchhiker movie actually disgraced film? Far out. I know I missed several years of pop culture while on assignment, but I didn’t know I’d lost… so very… little. Um. So anyway! _Watchmen,_ how’s that coming along? And the Oingo Boingo version of _Superman,_ did that ever come off? Enquiring minds want to know. I think the pop-eyed hero from _Con Air_ was in the lead on that one.
And Heath Ledger starring in an Arkham Asylum movie, did that go anywhere or what? I’m pretty sure he’s dead, but that’s no barrier to a full career. I should probably go back to reading foreign bibble-babble, I know, but you know how it is with motor crashes. Ooh, ooh, Michael Jackson, he lost his land at one point, right? I feel so close to my homies right now, I could just hug everybody.
ThymeZone
That’s Markos, of, you know, Kos.
Print that out and stick it up there on the top of your monitor and reference it the next time you (that’s a generic you, based on shoe size. If the shoe fits, then pay fucking attention) decide you want to fart off a post about how Barack Obama should pay more attention to whatever your Most Important Thing is because, you know, those Democrats have No Spine, and all that bullshit.
This is a realignment year. Something quite amazing is likely to happen. Be a part of it, and save the phony outrage for later when an all-Dem government is pissing you off.
Or, don’t, and just be another whineass voice in the vast marginalized uselessness that is the blogosphere.
BTW, did you hug a Muslim today?
bago
But the thing is he didn’t lie. He really did have a spaceship.
ThymeZone
Not for nothing, but be sure and catch a McCain stump speech soon. I am watching one right now, live from Ohio, and I have to say, in a half century of being a political junkie, I have never heard or seen anything so embarassing and pathetic.
If you can’t find the motivation to defeat this guy by getting enthusiastic about Barack Obama, then find it by listening to this silly old motherfucker. Try to imagine listening to this shit for the next four years.
Put a yard sign in your front yard today. Step away from the blog, and do something positive.
qwerty42
Just rec’d this on another group:
In memory of George Carlin, this Saturday’s broadcast of Saturday Night Live will be the very first episode, from October 11, 1975. George Carlin was the host. Tune in to see treats like a film by Albert Brooks, Andy Kaufman singing Mighty Mouse, Jim Henson’s Muppets for adults (pre-Muppet Show), and all of the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players and the rest of the crew trying to figure out what to do with this crazy show. The episode even foreshadows the three-blade razor: you know, for people who’ll believe anything!
frankdawg81
I use that quote in my daily!life – love [email protected]
Authur: “You know what I wish I had at times like these? A weapon of some sort.”
Lintilla: “Will this do?”
Arthur: “Whay is it?”
Lintella: “A weapon of some sort.”
Testy and Tired
As opposed to that other President Clinton?