• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

People are weird.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Giving up is unforgivable.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

The willow is too close to the house.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

“woke” is the new caravan.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Mobile Menu

  • 4 Directions VA 2025 Raffle
  • 2025 Activism
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Tunch Toy

Tunch Toy

by John Cole|  June 26, 20081:53 pm| 56 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

I have bought Tunch a number of toys, but none of them have made him happier than this baby:

Well, maybe not happy. But occupied. Which makes me happy. As I write this, he is batting the balls around the circle, and there is a little pad at the base where you can throw some catnip and get your cat stoned.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Stats For Dummies
Next Post: Surge Perspective »

Reader Interactions

56Comments

  1. 1.

    MarkusB

    June 26, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    Tunch has it rough, huh?

  2. 2.

    MarkusB

    June 26, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    “Hey, Tunch, it’s me, John. Let me in! I’ve got snacks.”

    “Uh… John’s not here, man.”

    “Dammit!”

  3. 3.

    TheFountainHead

    June 26, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    I think Tunch is the primary reason I read this blog.

  4. 4.

    southpaw

    June 26, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Clearly you need to post a video of this. And another one when you get some catnip.

  5. 5.

    Tsulagi

    June 26, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    As I write this, he is batting the balls around the circle

    Damn, so that’s where the Dem’s balls went! Good though to see they’re useful for something.

  6. 6.

    Tax Analyst

    June 26, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    You’re a good cat owner, John. This reminds me of Loki, a little grey cat I got way back in 1970 (she lived until 1981). When she was young we used to clear the furniture away from one wall in my apartment and then would bounce the small rubber ball core of a golf ball(minus all the rubber-band like strings wrapped around it)off the wall at various angles (throwing it down to short-hop the wall usually got the most entertaining results for cat & owner). When the ball would rebound off the wall the cat would race across the room and leap at it, usually batting it with one or both paws – she could really get up there, too. Then after she landed she’d chase it all around the apartment and knock it around for awhile. We’d do a few repeats, she didn’t seem to tire of it and it was easy entertainment for the oft-stoned human involved.

    I think she picked up a serious high from the stuff being smoked around her, plus whatever contact-high a cat might also be able to absorb. It didn’t seem to harm her any and she certainly had a good appetite.

    She was a good cat. I was really broken up when she died in ’81 – cat leukemia.

  7. 7.

    Buck

    June 26, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Everybody must get stoned!

  8. 8.

    jibeaux

    June 26, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    I’m pretty sure there’s some wingnut bloggers out there who could be pretty entertained by this, too. But you just don’t care about your former cohorts any more, do you, John?

  9. 9.

    Neal

    June 26, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    I have two little ladies at home. I pick ’em up a new one of these every few weeks at the grocery store. They love them.

  10. 10.

    RSA

    June 26, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    I’m just a bit concerned about the advertising copy:

    The new Whirly Mouse Jr.™ expands on the fun of the Mouse Porn Porn™ by adding a whirling track ball base.

    Oh, wait, those are “m”s, not “rn”s.

  11. 11.

    jake

    June 26, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    PikturZ naow, plz.

    Our house quadrupeds can tell when an object was marketed as a cat toy and won’t touch it. The only things they’ll play with are the rings from gallon jugs, soda caps, scraps of felt and an old piece of string. Freaking out in the laundry basket is another favoured past time. And of course there’s the old stand-by: “Getting in the cat box and kicking around until all the litter is outside. Then pissing on it.”

    Anyone want to buy some cats?

  12. 12.

    myiq2xu

    June 26, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    The new Whirly Mouse Jr.™ expands on the fun of the Mouse Porn Porn™ by adding a whirling track ball base.

    Kitty porn?

  13. 13.

    myiq2xu

    June 26, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    As I write this, he is batting the balls around the circle, and there is a little pad at the base where you can throw some catnip and get your cat stoned.

    Just don’t get stoned and let him bat your balls around.

  14. 14.

    RSA

    June 26, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Our cats, current and past, have been most entertained by a plastic toy fishing rod with a feather tied to the end of the line. That requires owner involvement, unfortunately.

  15. 15.

    jibeaux

    June 26, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    a little pad at the base where you can throw some catnip Cheetos

    I mean, obviously, this could be adapted, if you really cared.

  16. 16.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    June 26, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    My two female cats, up until age one, would spend hours with their racetrack toy (like this one without the carpet and pompom). When they were small enough, they would curl up in the circle and smack away until they fell asleep, then wake up and start in again. The older of the two would enjoy giving the ball a whack, then flipping around as fast as she could so she could stop it before it spun all the way around.http://www.shopfatcat.com/poancattoypa.html

    Now they enjoy beating the crap out of their

  17. 17.

    The Thinking Man's Mel Torme

    June 26, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    ugh…

    now they enjoy beating the crap out of their stuffed Dubya.

  18. 18.

    myiq2xu

    June 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    their stuffed Dubya.

    Paging Jeff Gannon!

  19. 19.

    gbear

    June 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    The batted-ball-in-a-circular-track is a hit with the girls at casa gbear, but then so is the ever-popular old-shoelace-tied-to-a-doorknob and sunlight-reflecting-off-the-wristwatch-dial.

    I’ve got catnip growing in the back yard, but the level of psycho it inspires is a little too over the top. The reaction makes me feel like I’ve given them bad acid. Poor kitties.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 26, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    Glad your cat is so taken with a fake mouse. My cat is only content to play with real animals until they die or he gets bored with the way they just lay there in shock. The other day I chased him around our front yard and the neighbors yard trying to get a lil baby rabbit away from him.

    I was successful but later in the evening a bird paid the price.

  21. 21.

    Kevin K.

    June 26, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Agent Flowbee should buy Susan one of those things for when she’s feeling agitated.

    (BTW, I just noticed that the wikipedia entry for Larry now comes up before the entry for the actual product when you Google “flowbee”. My day = made.)

  22. 22.

    phobos

    June 26, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    And of course there’s the old stand-by: “Getting in the cat box and kicking around until all the litter is outside. Then pissing on it.”

    That usually means they have an “issue” with the nature of the litter and/or the location of the box. Just keep in mind that once you think you have the answer, your cat will change the question.

  23. 23.

    Neal

    June 26, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Glad your cat is so taken with a fake mouse. My cat is only content to play with real animals until they die or he gets bored with the way they just lay there in shock. The other day I chased him around our front yard and the neighbors yard trying to get a lil baby rabbit away from him.

    Mice, squirrels, birds, lizards, etc…I’ve gotten some nice presents on my doorstep from little Sadie.

  24. 24.

    greynoldsct00

    June 26, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    We need pics of Tunch, John. It’s been a while. Did you say you had camera issues?

  25. 25.

    myiq2xu

    June 26, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Oooh! Props to John! Not everyone gets their knob slobbed by Glenzilla:

    That’s called being a rational adult who refuses to relinquish one’s intellectual honesty, integrity, and political principles in order to march lockstep behind a political leader.

  26. 26.

    John Cole

    June 26, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Yes, I need a new camera.

    Speaking of Flowbee, Harriet Christian is blogging for NOQUSA now.

  27. 27.

    myiq2xu

    June 26, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Oops! Forgot the link

  28. 28.

    DonnaInMichigan

    June 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Oh good a cat post.

    Ok, this is my dilemna, and I am at my wits end!!

    We bought a kitten (his name is shadow),he is now about 10 weeks old, we purchased him about 3 weeks ago, and we are having one horrible time training it to go in its litter box.

    He goes wherever he wants to, and I mean WHEREVER he wants to go..that means closets, under beds, under the dining room table. (which usually is about time we are sitting down to dinner)

    The litter box is in our laundry room, and I’ve tried different cat litter, to see if any of them will help. I’ve put him in the box, and scratched the litter with his front paws (I was told to do this by a vet)… also after spankings/rubbing his nose in his “mess” I also put him in the litter box, to show him that is where he’s suppose to go. I even scooped his feces up to put it in the litter box, so that HE would know his “smell”.

    The previous owner stated the kitten was already litter box trained..but I don’t believe it, because it has NEVER gone in the litter box.

    Help! Any suggestions…would be welcomed!!

  29. 29.

    greynoldsct00

    June 26, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    DonnaInMichigan-

    Try getting plain unscented litter and some Cat Attract (it’s a catnip blend of herbs)and can be obtained on the web – it should lead him to the box.

  30. 30.

    Kevin K.

    June 26, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Speaking of Flowbee, Harriet Christian is blogging for NOQUSA now.

    Yeah, I saw that. I guess it was inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before everyone’s favorite crack weeble Larry S. starts posting there, too.

  31. 31.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    June 26, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    A cat will “naturally” use a litterbox so you got a defective cat, Donna. You know what you have to do. Be strong.

  32. 32.

    Kevin K.

    June 26, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    And to stay on topic I’d like to report that my cat Hubcap has recently started snoring occasionally and it’s really starting to freak me out.

  33. 33.

    RSA

    June 26, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Help! Any suggestions…would be welcomed!!

    I can’t help directly, but our first cat was taken away from its mother a bit too soon, and so it came to our apartment not knowing how to bathe itself. A few weeks later we took in a friend’s cat while she went on vacation, and observing that older cat do a lot of cat-like things was all it took. So, borrow someone else’s cat for a few days, maybe?

  34. 34.

    Gerald Curl

    June 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    It is a great improvement over Whirly Mouse Sr., which sprayed cats with water and emitted loud, scary barking.

  35. 35.

    Sharon

    June 26, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    First, I can’t belive anyone would buy a kitten when about 80% of cats and kittens in shelters get put to sleep, but here goes. First, he’s old enough to get neutered, so get him fixed, and cage him in a cage big enough to hold a small litter box and him and a bed or food (a large dog crate works great) until he consistantly uses the litter box there. I sucessfully retrained a 7 year old cat that way, but it took a couple of months. Take him out only for cuddles, do not let him roam until he’s using the litter box all the time. That and the fix job should do it.

  36. 36.

    greynoldsct00

    June 26, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Donna-

    Here’s a link to Cat Attract in case you decide to go that route

    Via Amazon

  37. 37.

    The Other Steve

    June 26, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    It won’t last. I bought something like that a few years ago. My cat kept busy for about two days straight batting the ball.

    Then eventually she realized the ball ain’t coming out. About every 3 months she tries again for an hour or two while I’m asleep, but other than that it’s boring to her.

  38. 38.

    Kevin

    June 26, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    And to stay on topic I’d like to report that my cat Hubcap has recently started snoring occasionally and it’s really starting to freak me out.

    My cat has snored occasionally since I got him 3 years ago.

  39. 39.

    greynoldsct00

    June 26, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    And to stay on topic I’d like to report that my cat Hubcap has recently started snoring occasionally and it’s really starting to freak me out.

    My cat has snored occasionally since I got him 3 years ago.

    One of my cats talks in her sleep, it’s hilarious!

  40. 40.

    Mary

    June 26, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Damn, John. Tunch has everything, doesn’t he? Food. Shelter. An easily manipulated slave. Toys. Weed. What are you going to get him next — a RealCat?

    Oh. Wait. Heh. Right.

    He really is going to kill you in your sleep one night, eh?

  41. 41.

    South of I-10

    June 26, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    My cat thinks my Border Collie is her toy. The Border Collie seems okay with this.

  42. 42.

    Kevin K.

    June 26, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    He really is going to kill you in your sleep one night, eh?

    NY Post headline: Whirly Mouse-acre

  43. 43.

    Martin

    June 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Blogging about cats? Did I go to my spinster aunt’s blog by mistake?

    And you’re a goddamn commie, too. Handouts for the cat? What happened to working for a living? No wonder we have this trade deficit. Back in my day, cats worked the coal mines and textile mills – none of this nanny state shit. I understand all the concession stands at the Olympics will be served by cats. Wait, maybe they’re all serving cats… anyway – the Chinese are doing something useful with them.

  44. 44.

    Kevin K.

    June 26, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Did I go to my spinster aunt’s blog by mistake?

    No, HillaryIs44 is pink.

  45. 45.

    Walker

    June 26, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Canadian crinkle toys. My cat cannot stop playing with his. Greatest toy ever made, and only a buck.

  46. 46.

    jaime

    June 26, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    Harriet Christian is blogging for NOQUSA now.

    I was surprised that that hateful old prune was even aware of the internet.

  47. 47.

    Eric

    June 26, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Well that should help keep him from learning to drive like Tunches The Driving Cat(from SNL).

  48. 48.

    Bey

    June 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Donna – cats are instinctive poop-hiders with an indelible preference for granular substances. Any time that’s not happening is cause for real worry. Do NOT punish! You are only frightening him and making him mistrust you. #1 Take him to the vet. Make sure all is well with the plumbing. #2 change the litter you’re using to unscented clumping/nonclumping – whichever you’re not using at the moment. #3 make sure the box is in a quiet, private spot. Scoop daily. I live in a tri-level house so I keep a box upstairs and downstairs when I have a kitten. They mean well, but their legs are short and their bladders are the size of a pea.

    The best toy for a cat is….another cat :) But I have to admit, among the hundreds of $$ worth of cat entertainment options in my house the faves are: milk gallon rings, empty boxes, and the laser pointer.

    And feminine protection products wrapped in plastic. Don’t ask.

    And the catnip stuffed cigar that I mistake for someone having “thought outside the box” every time I stumble across it when I’m not wearing my glasses.

  49. 49.

    srv

    June 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    This toy embodies the democratic party for the last 7 years.

  50. 50.

    AnneLaurie

    June 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    John: Well, the *best* cat toy is a kitten. Nothing like a fellow marauder to perk up a bored feline! Of course, quite a few spoiled “onlys” will react to the new guy like Dracula reacts to a crucifix, but I’ve known the healthy hormonal rush of outrage & indignation to add years to a geriatric cat’s life…

    Donna: If you’ve talked to a vet, then you’ve already had your little guy examined for physical problems (parasites, infections, malformations) that would explain his incontinence, I hope. Next step should be to go back to the person who sold you the kitten, to find out *exactly* what kind of litter filler he used (yes, some cats can be amazingly conservative about not switching brands), and HOW FAR the kitten had to go before he could “go”. Because I don’t know the layout of your house, but kittens are like little kids — their bladders are small, they don’t know enough to schedule their own potty-breaks, and when the signal finally reaches their brain that they gotta go then they gotta go RIGHT NOW!!!! Especially since you say he’s prone to “letting go” under the dining room table as you sit down to dinner… in other words, he’s excited by the smell of food, he’s focused on what the people are doing, and suddenly, uh-oh! As a friend’s toddler once told her when his about-to-be-gratified pleas for a popsicle led him ruining his big boy pants, “I didn’t ‘wet my pants’, but the water FELL OUT!”

    Next step, re-training. Unless you have or can borrow a big wire crate, pick one room that the kitten will live in whenever you’re not able to give him your full attention. Put his food & water dishes at one end of the room (crate) and his litter box at the other end. He should have water available at all times, and if he’s left alone for more than about four hours at a time you’ll need to leave food for him as well. In the morning, at lunchtime (if it’s possible), when you come home, and before bedtime, go and play with him, give him a special treat (his favorite wet food, say), and *then* put him in his litter box… the combination should tweak his bladder/bowels into working. When he pees/poops in the box, let him know you’re happy he’s done so; if he doesn’t, do NOT try to punish him, but do NOT let him out of his “apartment” either! He should only be given free run of the house when you KNOW he’s empty. And once he’s running free with you for more than an hour or so, *you* need to remember to drop everything and carry him back to his litter box ‘just in case’. (And if you find making all those trips to the laundry room is a nuisance, you might want to think about a different “permanent” location for the litterbox, yes?)

    Also, you’ll of course need to clean every single spot where the kitten’s ever left a “mistake” with something strong enough to guarantee that his much-better-than-yours sense of smell doesn’t inspire, um, nostalgic piddling. My favorite is Odormute (invented for use in horse barns & dog waste digesters) but there are plenty of other products available. Best “test” to make sure you haven’t missed any spots is to keep an eye on your little guy, which of course you’ll be doing anyway, and make sure he’s not sniffing and/or squatting anywhere other than his litter box.

  51. 51.

    jake

    June 26, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    That usually means they have an “issue” with the nature of the litter and/or the location of the box. Just keep in mind that once you think you have the answer, your cat will change the question.

    Thanks, but I know my critters picked it up from the S.O’s beast and apparently she’s always done this regardless of box locations or contents. Basically, anything that makes the bipeds bellow “Knock it off!” = Fun! It really is just a game.

    Re: Snoring cats, you might want to take him to the vet. The largest house beast snores from time to time which the vet says is a symptom of his very mild heart murmur. He also burps but that’s just a symptom of being a pig.

  52. 52.

    HyperIon

    June 26, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    i can’t resist…my first (and i hope, last) attempt at an internet tradition.

    I understand all the concession stands at the Olympics will be served by serving cats.

    Fixed

  53. 53.

    trollhattan

    June 26, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Nuh-uh, best toy for a cat is a [Dr. Evil voice] “laser.”
    [/Dr. Evil voice]
    Although you do kinda need a human at the other end, unlike Whirly Mouse Jr.

  54. 54.

    PeterJ

    June 26, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    Johnson is the founder and main author of No Quarter, a weblog that addresses issues of terrorism and intelligence

    They probably should address their own lack of intelligence first.

  55. 55.

    Quackers

    June 27, 2008 at 8:07 am

    The best ever cat toys I’ve found are the Cat Dancer (google it) and some golf ball size pom-poms from the craft store (keep pom-poms not in use in the catnip bag).

  56. 56.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    June 27, 2008 at 9:40 am

    A tired pet is a happy pet.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - way2blue - SINALEI, SAMOA—RESPITE EDITION—FEBRUARY 2025.  (second of five) 8
Image by way2blue (7/16/25)
Donate

Recent Comments

  • Kayla Rudbek on Repub Corruption Open Thread: Don TACO, King of All Scammers (Jul 17, 2025 @ 7:52am)
  • Paul in KY on Flailing & Failing (Open Thread) (Jul 17, 2025 @ 7:48am)
  • Baud on Thursday Morning Open Thread (Jul 17, 2025 @ 7:44am)
  • Baud on Thursday Morning Open Thread (Jul 17, 2025 @ 7:42am)
  • Geminid on Thursday Morning Open Thread (Jul 17, 2025 @ 7:42am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!