I have bought Tunch a number of toys, but none of them have made him happier than this baby:
Well, maybe not happy. But occupied. Which makes me happy. As I write this, he is batting the balls around the circle, and there is a little pad at the base where you can throw some catnip and get your cat stoned.
MarkusB
Tunch has it rough, huh?
MarkusB
“Hey, Tunch, it’s me, John. Let me in! I’ve got snacks.”
“Uh… John’s not here, man.”
“Dammit!”
TheFountainHead
I think Tunch is the primary reason I read this blog.
southpaw
Clearly you need to post a video of this. And another one when you get some catnip.
Tsulagi
Damn, so that’s where the Dem’s balls went! Good though to see they’re useful for something.
Tax Analyst
You’re a good cat owner, John. This reminds me of Loki, a little grey cat I got way back in 1970 (she lived until 1981). When she was young we used to clear the furniture away from one wall in my apartment and then would bounce the small rubber ball core of a golf ball(minus all the rubber-band like strings wrapped around it)off the wall at various angles (throwing it down to short-hop the wall usually got the most entertaining results for cat & owner). When the ball would rebound off the wall the cat would race across the room and leap at it, usually batting it with one or both paws – she could really get up there, too. Then after she landed she’d chase it all around the apartment and knock it around for awhile. We’d do a few repeats, she didn’t seem to tire of it and it was easy entertainment for the oft-stoned human involved.
I think she picked up a serious high from the stuff being smoked around her, plus whatever contact-high a cat might also be able to absorb. It didn’t seem to harm her any and she certainly had a good appetite.
She was a good cat. I was really broken up when she died in ’81 – cat leukemia.
Buck
Everybody must get stoned!
jibeaux
I’m pretty sure there’s some wingnut bloggers out there who could be pretty entertained by this, too. But you just don’t care about your former cohorts any more, do you, John?
Neal
I have two little ladies at home. I pick ’em up a new one of these every few weeks at the grocery store. They love them.
RSA
I’m just a bit concerned about the advertising copy:
Oh, wait, those are “m”s, not “rn”s.
jake
PikturZ naow, plz.
Our house quadrupeds can tell when an object was marketed as a cat toy and won’t touch it. The only things they’ll play with are the rings from gallon jugs, soda caps, scraps of felt and an old piece of string. Freaking out in the laundry basket is another favoured past time. And of course there’s the old stand-by: “Getting in the cat box and kicking around until all the litter is outside. Then pissing on it.”
Anyone want to buy some cats?
myiq2xu
Kitty porn?
myiq2xu
Just don’t get stoned and let him bat your balls around.
RSA
Our cats, current and past, have been most entertained by a plastic toy fishing rod with a feather tied to the end of the line. That requires owner involvement, unfortunately.
jibeaux
I mean, obviously, this could be adapted, if you really cared.
The Thinking Man's Mel Torme
My two female cats, up until age one, would spend hours with their racetrack toy (like this one without the carpet and pompom). When they were small enough, they would curl up in the circle and smack away until they fell asleep, then wake up and start in again. The older of the two would enjoy giving the ball a whack, then flipping around as fast as she could so she could stop it before it spun all the way around.shopfatcat.com/poancattoypa.html
Now they enjoy beating the crap out of their
The Thinking Man's Mel Torme
ugh…
now they enjoy beating the crap out of their stuffed Dubya.
myiq2xu
Paging Jeff Gannon!
gbear
The batted-ball-in-a-circular-track is a hit with the girls at casa gbear, but then so is the ever-popular old-shoelace-tied-to-a-doorknob and sunlight-reflecting-off-the-wristwatch-dial.
I’ve got catnip growing in the back yard, but the level of psycho it inspires is a little too over the top. The reaction makes me feel like I’ve given them bad acid. Poor kitties.
Just Some Fuckhead
Glad your cat is so taken with a fake mouse. My cat is only content to play with real animals until they die or he gets bored with the way they just lay there in shock. The other day I chased him around our front yard and the neighbors yard trying to get a lil baby rabbit away from him.
I was successful but later in the evening a bird paid the price.
Kevin K.
Agent Flowbee should buy Susan one of those things for when she’s feeling agitated.
(BTW, I just noticed that the wikipedia entry for Larry now comes up before the entry for the actual product when you Google “flowbee”. My day = made.)
phobos
That usually means they have an “issue” with the nature of the litter and/or the location of the box. Just keep in mind that once you think you have the answer, your cat will change the question.
Neal
Mice, squirrels, birds, lizards, etc…I’ve gotten some nice presents on my doorstep from little Sadie.
greynoldsct00
We need pics of Tunch, John. It’s been a while. Did you say you had camera issues?
myiq2xu
Oooh! Props to John! Not everyone gets their knob slobbed by Glenzilla:
John Cole
Yes, I need a new camera.
Speaking of Flowbee, Harriet Christian is blogging for NOQUSA now.
myiq2xu
Oops! Forgot the link
DonnaInMichigan
Oh good a cat post.
Ok, this is my dilemna, and I am at my wits end!!
We bought a kitten (his name is shadow),he is now about 10 weeks old, we purchased him about 3 weeks ago, and we are having one horrible time training it to go in its litter box.
He goes wherever he wants to, and I mean WHEREVER he wants to go..that means closets, under beds, under the dining room table. (which usually is about time we are sitting down to dinner)
The litter box is in our laundry room, and I’ve tried different cat litter, to see if any of them will help. I’ve put him in the box, and scratched the litter with his front paws (I was told to do this by a vet)… also after spankings/rubbing his nose in his “mess” I also put him in the litter box, to show him that is where he’s suppose to go. I even scooped his feces up to put it in the litter box, so that HE would know his “smell”.
The previous owner stated the kitten was already litter box trained..but I don’t believe it, because it has NEVER gone in the litter box.
Help! Any suggestions…would be welcomed!!
greynoldsct00
DonnaInMichigan-
Try getting plain unscented litter and some Cat Attract (it’s a catnip blend of herbs)and can be obtained on the web – it should lead him to the box.
Kevin K.
Yeah, I saw that. I guess it was inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before everyone’s favorite crack weeble Larry S. starts posting there, too.
Just Some Fuckhead
A cat will “naturally” use a litterbox so you got a defective cat, Donna. You know what you have to do. Be strong.
Kevin K.
And to stay on topic I’d like to report that my cat Hubcap has recently started snoring occasionally and it’s really starting to freak me out.
RSA
I can’t help directly, but our first cat was taken away from its mother a bit too soon, and so it came to our apartment not knowing how to bathe itself. A few weeks later we took in a friend’s cat while she went on vacation, and observing that older cat do a lot of cat-like things was all it took. So, borrow someone else’s cat for a few days, maybe?
Gerald Curl
It is a great improvement over Whirly Mouse Sr., which sprayed cats with water and emitted loud, scary barking.
Sharon
First, I can’t belive anyone would buy a kitten when about 80% of cats and kittens in shelters get put to sleep, but here goes. First, he’s old enough to get neutered, so get him fixed, and cage him in a cage big enough to hold a small litter box and him and a bed or food (a large dog crate works great) until he consistantly uses the litter box there. I sucessfully retrained a 7 year old cat that way, but it took a couple of months. Take him out only for cuddles, do not let him roam until he’s using the litter box all the time. That and the fix job should do it.
greynoldsct00
Donna-
Here’s a link to Cat Attract in case you decide to go that route
Via Amazon
The Other Steve
It won’t last. I bought something like that a few years ago. My cat kept busy for about two days straight batting the ball.
Then eventually she realized the ball ain’t coming out. About every 3 months she tries again for an hour or two while I’m asleep, but other than that it’s boring to her.
Kevin
My cat has snored occasionally since I got him 3 years ago.
greynoldsct00
One of my cats talks in her sleep, it’s hilarious!
Mary
Damn, John. Tunch has everything, doesn’t he? Food. Shelter. An easily manipulated slave. Toys. Weed. What are you going to get him next — a RealCat?
Oh. Wait. Heh. Right.
He really is going to kill you in your sleep one night, eh?
South of I-10
My cat thinks my Border Collie is her toy. The Border Collie seems okay with this.
Kevin K.
NY Post headline: Whirly Mouse-acre
Martin
Blogging about cats? Did I go to my spinster aunt’s blog by mistake?
And you’re a goddamn commie, too. Handouts for the cat? What happened to working for a living? No wonder we have this trade deficit. Back in my day, cats worked the coal mines and textile mills – none of this nanny state shit. I understand all the concession stands at the Olympics will be served by cats. Wait, maybe they’re all serving cats… anyway – the Chinese are doing something useful with them.
Kevin K.
No, HillaryIs44 is pink.
Walker
Canadian crinkle toys. My cat cannot stop playing with his. Greatest toy ever made, and only a buck.
jaime
I was surprised that that hateful old prune was even aware of the internet.
Eric
Well that should help keep him from learning to drive like Tunches The Driving Cat(from SNL).
Bey
Donna – cats are instinctive poop-hiders with an indelible preference for granular substances. Any time that’s not happening is cause for real worry. Do NOT punish! You are only frightening him and making him mistrust you. #1 Take him to the vet. Make sure all is well with the plumbing. #2 change the litter you’re using to unscented clumping/nonclumping – whichever you’re not using at the moment. #3 make sure the box is in a quiet, private spot. Scoop daily. I live in a tri-level house so I keep a box upstairs and downstairs when I have a kitten. They mean well, but their legs are short and their bladders are the size of a pea.
The best toy for a cat is….another cat :) But I have to admit, among the hundreds of $$ worth of cat entertainment options in my house the faves are: milk gallon rings, empty boxes, and the laser pointer.
And feminine protection products wrapped in plastic. Don’t ask.
And the catnip stuffed cigar that I mistake for someone having “thought outside the box” every time I stumble across it when I’m not wearing my glasses.
srv
This toy embodies the democratic party for the last 7 years.
AnneLaurie
John: Well, the *best* cat toy is a kitten. Nothing like a fellow marauder to perk up a bored feline! Of course, quite a few spoiled “onlys” will react to the new guy like Dracula reacts to a crucifix, but I’ve known the healthy hormonal rush of outrage & indignation to add years to a geriatric cat’s life…
Donna: If you’ve talked to a vet, then you’ve already had your little guy examined for physical problems (parasites, infections, malformations) that would explain his incontinence, I hope. Next step should be to go back to the person who sold you the kitten, to find out *exactly* what kind of litter filler he used (yes, some cats can be amazingly conservative about not switching brands), and HOW FAR the kitten had to go before he could “go”. Because I don’t know the layout of your house, but kittens are like little kids — their bladders are small, they don’t know enough to schedule their own potty-breaks, and when the signal finally reaches their brain that they gotta go then they gotta go RIGHT NOW!!!! Especially since you say he’s prone to “letting go” under the dining room table as you sit down to dinner… in other words, he’s excited by the smell of food, he’s focused on what the people are doing, and suddenly, uh-oh! As a friend’s toddler once told her when his about-to-be-gratified pleas for a popsicle led him ruining his big boy pants, “I didn’t ‘wet my pants’, but the water FELL OUT!”
Next step, re-training. Unless you have or can borrow a big wire crate, pick one room that the kitten will live in whenever you’re not able to give him your full attention. Put his food & water dishes at one end of the room (crate) and his litter box at the other end. He should have water available at all times, and if he’s left alone for more than about four hours at a time you’ll need to leave food for him as well. In the morning, at lunchtime (if it’s possible), when you come home, and before bedtime, go and play with him, give him a special treat (his favorite wet food, say), and *then* put him in his litter box… the combination should tweak his bladder/bowels into working. When he pees/poops in the box, let him know you’re happy he’s done so; if he doesn’t, do NOT try to punish him, but do NOT let him out of his “apartment” either! He should only be given free run of the house when you KNOW he’s empty. And once he’s running free with you for more than an hour or so, *you* need to remember to drop everything and carry him back to his litter box ‘just in case’. (And if you find making all those trips to the laundry room is a nuisance, you might want to think about a different “permanent” location for the litterbox, yes?)
Also, you’ll of course need to clean every single spot where the kitten’s ever left a “mistake” with something strong enough to guarantee that his much-better-than-yours sense of smell doesn’t inspire, um, nostalgic piddling. My favorite is Odormute (invented for use in horse barns & dog waste digesters) but there are plenty of other products available. Best “test” to make sure you haven’t missed any spots is to keep an eye on your little guy, which of course you’ll be doing anyway, and make sure he’s not sniffing and/or squatting anywhere other than his litter box.
jake
Thanks, but I know my critters picked it up from the S.O’s beast and apparently she’s always done this regardless of box locations or contents. Basically, anything that makes the bipeds bellow “Knock it off!” = Fun! It really is just a game.
Re: Snoring cats, you might want to take him to the vet. The largest house beast snores from time to time which the vet says is a symptom of his very mild heart murmur. He also burps but that’s just a symptom of being a pig.
HyperIon
i can’t resist…my first (and i hope, last) attempt at an internet tradition.
Fixed
trollhattan
Nuh-uh, best toy for a cat is a [Dr. Evil voice] “laser.”
[/Dr. Evil voice]
Although you do kinda need a human at the other end, unlike Whirly Mouse Jr.
PeterJ
They probably should address their own lack of intelligence first.
Quackers
The best ever cat toys I’ve found are the Cat Dancer (google it) and some golf ball size pom-poms from the craft store (keep pom-poms not in use in the catnip bag).
Notorious P.A.T.
A tired pet is a happy pet.