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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2008 / Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t Jonah Goldberg Is A Blithering Idiot

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t Jonah Goldberg Is A Blithering Idiot

by John Cole|  August 23, 20086:36 pm| 88 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Did You Know John McCain Was A POW?, I Read These Morons So You Don't Have To

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This is kind of awesome. Jonah Goldberg, 12:15 PM:

All I have to say is that if it was deliberate — and I really, really doubt it was — then that is the most substantive proof so far that Obama’s youthful arrogance is getting the better of him. The text message ploy on its own was kind of dumb. But if it was a way to tweak Clinton, it was beyond self-indulgent. And the fact that the message went out at 3:00 AM at all is a sign the whole thing was too clever by half.

Jonah Goldberg, 1:29 PM:

You know what? Even if it was a mistake, some grownup over there should have said “3:00 AM? You know what they’ll say, right? Don’t do it at 3:00 AM, it’ll seem like a juvenile jab at Hillary.” Instead, it seems that it didn’t occur to anyone or someone said, “3:00 AM, hah! Take that Hillary!”

So let’s recap. If the text was deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks. If it wasn’t deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks.

It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!

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Reader Interactions

88Comments

  1. 1.

    Blue Buddha

    August 23, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!

    What do you mean almost?

  2. 2.

    Tom

    August 23, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    3 AM in what timezone? My email was timestamped 1:48 Pacific time, which would have been 4:48 Eastern time, or 3:48 in the timezone where Obama’s campaign is actually headquartered.

    Elite east-coast cappuccino-sippers like Jonah Goldberg really need to get over themselves.

  3. 3.

    Urbaniak

    August 23, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    You know who else may or may not have timed his announcements to tweak his opponents? HITLER!

  4. 4.

    The Dangerman

    August 23, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    And how did Jonah Goldberg get his job? Oh, yeah, fallout from Monica Lewinsky.

    Does anyone out there recall the LA Times article that described how McCain sits out votes on Alcohol because of his potential conflict of interest? I’d think that would be interesting to revisit given Biden lost his first wife and a child to a drunk driver.

  5. 5.

    Funkhauser

    August 23, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    Atrios said it first and true:

    Jonah Goldberg is one of the stupidest people in our national dialogue.

    Can we just ignore him now?

  6. 6.

    chopper

    August 23, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    You know who else may or may not have timed his announcements to tweak his opponents? HITLER!

    john mccain’s vietnamese captors never announced when they were going to serve breakfast. IN PRISON!

  7. 7.

    Blue Buddha

    August 23, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    Urbaniak Says:

    You know who else may or may not have timed his announcements to tweak his opponents? HITLER!
    August 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    And you know who else cared about timing… especially when it came to trains? MUSSOLINI!

    zOMFG librul fascism!!!111oneone

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    August 23, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    It’s apparently beyond Goldberg’s mental capacity to realize that the texts and emails took several hours to go out. Mine was timestamped 3:50 Central, which seems to be about a quarter of the way through the set (I’ve seen people report getting their messages anywhere between 2 and 8 AM).

    -dms

  9. 9.

    NR

    August 23, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    Over at DKos, they’re talking about a McCain ad launching tomorrow that specifically targets Hillary supporters. Apparently, it attacks Obama for not picking the “most experienced” Democrat.

  10. 10.

    Alan Black

    August 23, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Does Jonah Goldberg realise that he is younger than Obama?

    I guess about as much he probably realises what an insipid moron he is.

    Obama is 47. The constitutional requirement for the office of President is 35. What’s with the age thing? Get. The. F**k. Over. It. Goldberg. You. Stupid. Prick.

  11. 11.

    Joshua Norton

    August 23, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    At least it will get Biden out of the Senate if they win. Maybe we can get a senator with enough of a backbone to represent the people and not just big money/big business.

  12. 12.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 23, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Who the fuck cares what Lucianne Goldberg’s kid thinks about this or anything else?

  13. 13.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 23, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    Apparently, it attacks Obama for not picking the “most experienced” Democrat.

    Or the one who has been under sniper fire.

  14. 14.

    Ed Marshall

    August 23, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    Maybe we can get a senator with enough of a backbone to represent the people and not just big money/big business.

    Out of Delaware?!?!

    If you figure out how to do that, we got a whole new game!

  15. 15.

    lampwick

    August 23, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Jonah is just misunderstood. Allow me to translate what he really meant to say:

    Jonah Goldberg, 12:15 PM

    “All I have to say is that if it was deliberate — and I really, really doubt it was — then that is the most substantive proof so far that Dunkin Donuts’ arrogance is getting the better of it. The donut hole ploy on its own was kind of dumb. But if it was a way to distract attention from the hole in the donut, it was beyond self-indulgent. And the fact that the donut hole is not itself actually a hole is a sign the whole thing was too clever by half.”

    Jonah Goldberg, 1:29 PM:
    “You know what? Even if it was a mistake, some grownup over there should have said “A donut hole? You know what they’ll say, right? Don’t put a hole in the donut, it’ll seem like a juvenile jab at the Whole Donut.” Instead, it seems that it didn’t occur to anyone or someone said, “A donut hole, hah! Take that, Whole Donut!”

  16. 16.

    The Other Steve

    August 23, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    I think we all know just how much McCain and Goldberg really care about Hillary Clinton and her supporters.

  17. 17.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 23, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Out of Delaware?

    If you figure out how to do that, we got a whole new game!

    A whole new state, even.

  18. 18.

    chopper

    August 23, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Over at DKos, they’re talking about a McCain ad launching tomorrow that specifically targets Hillary supporters. Apparently, it attacks Obama for not picking the “most experienced” Democrat.

    that makes no sense.

  19. 19.

    Blue Buddha

    August 23, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    NR Says:

    Over at DKos, they’re talking about a McCain ad launching tomorrow that specifically targets Hillary supporters. Apparently, it attacks Obama for not picking the “most experienced” Democrat.

    August 23rd, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    The GoS also mentioned that Hillary considered Biden as a running mate back in November, and she just praised Obama’s decision.

    That one’s going to fall flat fast.

  20. 20.

    Delia

    August 23, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Tom Says:

    3 AM in what timezone? My email was timestamped 1:48 Pacific time,

    Hah! Mine was timestamped 1:03 PDT. What’s with that? Barack was sitting there in Springfield sending text messages to all his friends one at a time?

    But my take is that Jonah can’t help himself. Mama Lucianne was so busy being a narcissistic jerk during his formative years that her baby can’t help himself. He turned out to be a narcissistic jerk in an attempt to gain mama’s attention.

  21. 21.

    LiberalTarian

    August 23, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    Yay. I love hating on GOPbots. It makes me happy.

  22. 22.

    NR

    August 23, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    that makes no sense.

    They probably cut the ad before the VP was announced. I guess they were assuming it’d be Kaine or Sebelius or someone else. Because you’re right, it makes no sense with Biden as the VP.

  23. 23.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Democrats have been dealing with these kind of inane statements by the morans on the right for what seems like forever now. No matter what any Democrat does, they have a negative response to it. In the past, it seemed like some RW pundit would opine one negative about a Democrat and others would chime in with other negative opinions about that Democrat. Within a short time, that Democrat is so boxed in that no matter what they do there is a RW pundit the right can point to who can say that they were right.

    The right had this system down pat until the internet came along and spoiled it for them. Now the individual RW pundits idiots are putting out multiple opinions (hour by hour) and they think they will get away with it without being called out like you are doing with Goldberg here. They are individually positioning themselves to be able to say that they were right! It’s like they don’t want to take a chance and not have the eventual result pinned down, they want the credit and recognition for being right.

    Information (especially good, accurate information!) is loved by those who like to use their minds. Information is a negative for the right. They have always controlled the information flow to their faithful. The internet takes that control out of their hands, and it invites the extreme right wing asshats to come out of the woodwork. Thanks to the right, everyone has known about the ‘loony left’ forever. The right has always done a good job of camouflaging their nuts, but now the internet is helping to lift that camouflage.

    The post yesterday by Erick Erickson at RedState, where he intimates that Obama is evil like Josef Mengele, is a good indication that the message control is completely gone on the right. The choir is singing off-key and people are starting to notice.

    Places like this online are helping to expose them, bit by bit. Good.

  24. 24.

    Doug H. (Fausto no more)

    August 23, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Over at DKos, they’re talking about a McCain ad launching tomorrow that specifically targets Hillary supporters. Apparently, it attacks Obama for not picking the “most experienced” Democrat.

    Well, that is true. Nobody could’ve beaten Obama-Byrd in experience.

  25. 25.

    The Other Steve

    August 23, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Looks like the news is starting to give John McCain some of that coverage he demanded.

    NYTimes looks into his wealth.

  26. 26.

    DanM

    August 23, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Aw, its kind of cute the way Jonah gets his fur all bunched up in that angry pout.

    Like an angry scruffy little puppy that’s been left outside too long.

  27. 27.

    nightjar

    August 23, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!

    It’s been a riot watching wingnuts fidget wildly for something meaningful to bitch about. Obama’s VP pick sent an arrow straight into the heart of the Mccain’s only message that he has the foreign policy wise man to keep your children safe. So what’s left but flogging rumors of conspiracy involving the Clinton’s. Always the wingnut standby and truly the bottom of the barrel.

  28. 28.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 23, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    that makes no sense.

    Biden: 35 years experience
    HRC: 37 years experience

    She just edges him out because she started experiencing right after college and Biden didn’t start experuencing until he was 30.

  29. 29.

    Jake

    August 23, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    I guess this proves that p.lukasiak is Jonah Goldberg.

  30. 30.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 23, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Biden has less living-in-the-White House experience as well as less killing-UHC-for-over-a-decade experience.

  31. 31.

    dmsilev

    August 23, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    I guess this proves that p.lukasiak is Jonah Goldberg.

    Heh. While trawling through TalkLeft this afternoon (yes, I was that bored), I found a couple of posts by p.luk. I’m too lazy to go back and get exact quotes, but he made BTD look moderate and rational by comparison.

    -dms

  32. 32.

    gbear

    August 23, 2008 at 7:32 pm

    The right has always done a good job of camouflaging their nuts

    Apparently. For years I’ve always assumed they didn’t have nuts at all. Who knew?

  33. 33.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 23, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    I’m withholding my opinion on Biden v. HRC until I see what Biden’s ass looks like in a canary yellow pantsuit.

  34. 34.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Apparently. For years I’ve always assumed they didn’t have nuts at all. Who knew?

    They didn’t want people to see how small (minded) they were, so they figured that it was better to be seen with no nuts than small (minded) nuts.

  35. 35.

    Rome Again

    August 23, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    Please tell me we’re not back to debating whether eight years in the White House as first lady is “experience”.

  36. 36.

    Robert Johnston

    August 23, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    Jonah Goldberg is one of the stupidest people in our national dialogue.

    Can we just ignore him now?

    Why in the world would you want to ignore someone who provides that much inadvertent humor? The Notorious DPL (Doughy PantLoad) should be mocked, not ignored.

  37. 37.

    Jake

    August 23, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    Heh. While trawling through TalkLeft this afternoon (yes, I was that bored), I found a couple of posts by p.luk. I’m too lazy to go back and get exact quotes, but he made BTD look moderate and rational by comparison.

    I can’t visit TalkLeft. Just can’t. It’s like watching our species devolve, in real time.

  38. 38.

    nightjar

    August 23, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Please tell me we’re not back to debating whether eight years in the White House as first lady is “experience”.

    Maybe successfully dodging Special Prosecutors counts as valued experience in the wingnut world.

  39. 39.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    August 23, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Please tell me we’re not back to debating whether eight years in the White House as first lady is “experience”.

    While HRC was running the world in Washington for those eight years, Biden was spending the majority of his time out of state. Hello, Biden loses again.

  40. 40.

    w vincentz

    August 23, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    Seems that Goldberg doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.
    This one should cheer him up…

    Three guys walk into a bar at 2:59 AM. One is a Rabbi, one is a PUMA, and one is someone named Goldberg.
    The first one has a matzo that has an image of Liberman on it pearched on his head. The second one has a little female poodle named Hillisit tucked under her shirt. The third one has a goat concealed in the back of his pants.
    They siddle up to their barstools and the bartender brings their order. the Rabbi has Manishevitz, The Puma has vinegar, straight up, and Goldberg orders tomato juice with a twist of arugula.
    The PUMA’s dog starts to go crazy from the smell of the vinegar and depite the pathetic commands to “settle down, Bitch!”, somehow, the excited little dog manages to spill the tomato juice all over the Rabbi’s matzo. Oy vey! Bloody Liberman. The PUMA is very apologetic but all the commotion has drawn the attention of the bouncer and the biker dudes that share the bar.
    Somehow, the arugula has found its way to Goldberg’s rectum
    when he’s discovered outside the bar the next morning.
    Of course, the little dog has urinated on him, as has the Rabbi, as have all the biker dudes, and as has Goldberg as well.
    The PUMA is unable to be found. If you find this person, please ask her if she wants her little bitch back.
    After emergency surgery at the hospital to remove the arugula, Goldberg states to the nurse in the recovery room, “Hey, I liked that. Can we do that again?”
    “NO, Mr. Goldberg,” the nurse says, “But there’s a Rabbi here that’s going to do your circumsion.”

    ta, dum, dum.

  41. 41.

    Jake

    August 23, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    Check out this diary over at the GOS. It claims that HRC told Obama not to vet her unless he was going to pick her. I can see her suggesting as much.

    Not that the PUMA folks will care. Much like their candidate, they think it’s all about them.

  42. 42.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    The third one has a goat concealed in the back of his pants.

    Goldberg is myiq2xu GoatBoy?! Wow. ;)

  43. 43.

    TCG

    August 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    And how did Jonah Goldberg get his job

    Answer: Wingnut Welfare.

    But other than that Doesn’t Jonah need a nick name like handjob or something equally descriptive?

  44. 44.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Not that the PUMA folks will care. Much like their candidate, they think it’s all about them.

    They are bitching about how Hillary was dissed by not being vetted, and that Obama’s campaign released the news that he never vetted her. I thought I heard a talking head (MSNBC) say that the story about Hillary not being vetted came from within the Hillary camp, not the Obama camp. The report stated that someone from the Hillary camp said that the Obama campaign ‘did not ask for a single piece of paper’ from Hillary, so she could not have been vetted.

    If that is the case, the PUMA’s are wrong, yet again. Nothing new there.

  45. 45.

    w vincentz

    August 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    Yup CL, that guy with the IQ that he claimed to everyone in the bar was two times theres is now honeymooning with the goat in Bayone, NJ.

  46. 46.

    Robert Johnston

    August 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    The third one has a goat concealed in the back of his pants.

    Goldberg is myiq2xu GoatBoy?! Wow.

    No, but Goldberg is desperate to get a blowjob from Mickey Kaus. Gotta admire his creativity here.

  47. 47.

    Rome Again

    August 23, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Three guys walk into a bar at 2:59 AM.

    That took some imagination. ;)

  48. 48.

    Rome Again

    August 23, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    The report stated that someone from the Hillary camp said that the Obama campaign ‘did not ask for a single piece of paper’ from Hillary, so she could not have been vetted.

    Jesus Christ, it was all over the news that the Obama campaign had requested income disclosure and that information was not forthcoming.

  49. 49.

    CapMidnight

    August 23, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    You know what? Even if Jonah Goldberg was a mistake, some grownup over at the hospital should have said “83 IQ? You know what they’ll say, right? Don’t birth it at 83 IQ, it’ll seem like a juvenile jab at humanity.” Instead, it seems that it didn’t occur to anyone or someone said, “83 IQ, hah! Take that humanity!”

  50. 50.

    Dennis - SGMM

    August 23, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Jesus Christ, it was all over the news that the Obama campaign had requested income disclosure and that information was not forthcoming.

    Just a wild guess: it wasn’t Hillary’s income disclosure, it was ol’ Bill’s financial disclosures that were the sticking point.

  51. 51.

    Rome Again

    August 23, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Just a wild guess: it wasn’t Hillary’s income disclosure, it was ol’ Bill’s financial disclosures that were the sticking point.

    Right, but a marriage is an entity, and Hillary was a part of that entity and that information was requested. The information regarding Bill’s income would have affected Hillary’s lifestyle in some way, at least. If the marriage benefits, Hillary benefits.

  52. 52.

    Joy

    August 23, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    And just who the hell is Jonah anyway that Barack should care to please him?

  53. 53.

    Tom

    August 23, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Not that the PUMA folks will care. Much like their candidate, they think it’s all about them.

    Wasn’t PUMA co-founded by a McCain 2000 donor?

    I doubt PUMA’s candidate was Hillary.

  54. 54.

    anne

    August 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Hillary owns 3am and therefore you must never do anything at 3am. Though, it was 2am here but it doesn’t matter. It’s 3am somewhere.

  55. 55.

    Rome Again

    August 23, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    Hillary owns 3am and therefore you must never do anything at 3am. Though, it was 2am here but it doesn’t matter. It’s 3am somewhere.

    It’s always 3 am somewhere, does this mean we can never do anything ever again?

  56. 56.

    leo

    August 23, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    It only looks like the right-wingers are grasping at straws.

  57. 57.

    jbarntt

    August 23, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    Hi John,

    A careful reading of the two Goldberg posts you posted shows no contradiction, as you imply. In the first he doubts that the 3 AM timing was deliberate and in the second he says that Obama should have avoided even the appearance of evil, given Hillary’s famous ad.

    I see no beef here. Goldberg is not contradicting himself, rather you are displaying a singular lack of comprehension regarding English.

  58. 58.

    KRK

    August 23, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    So, we’ve learned that Obama gave Hillary and women everywhere a big slap in the face by picking Biden. Surely Biden threw someone under a bus by accepting?

  59. 59.

    John Cole

    August 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    No. Obama threw CHANGE under the bus.

    Because everyone knows voting for that ancient fucker McCain so he can continue the last eight years work is the real change you can believe in.

  60. 60.

    Grendel72

    August 23, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Goldberg is not contradicting himself, rather he is displaying a singular lack of comprehension regarding the existence of time zones.

  61. 61.

    jake

    August 23, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Jesus Waterskiing Christ. I listened to that fucktard rattle on about how Hillary is a nasty fascist because she tried to tell people how to raise their kids. Now Johan tells us Obama is a bad, bad man because he might have hurt her wittle fewings.

    This can only mean one thing:

    Johan Lœdedhösen is a Fat Stupid Bitch.

  62. 62.

    Brachiator

    August 23, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    jbarntt Says:

    A careful reading of the two Goldberg posts you posted shows no contradiction, as you imply. In the first he doubts that the 3 AM timing was deliberate and in the second he says that Obama should have avoided even the appearance of evil, given Hillary’s famous ad.

    But since there was no actual 3 am timing, Goldberg is a fool, both deliberately and accidentally.

    If Goldberg was less of a total idiot he would note how masterfully Obama used speculation about the upcoming text message to dominate the news cycle. The news reporter at one of the most popular talk radio stations out here in California kept noting how much she was pumped up on adrenaline waiting for the announcement, and she wasn’t even strongly political.

    By contrast, a conservative commentator desperately seeking a perceived slight to Hillary is nothing more than rhetorical bullshit.

  63. 63.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    The ol’ Model T backfires yet again!

    jbarntt Says:

    Hi John,

    A careful reading of the two Goldberg posts you posted shows no contradiction, as you imply. In the first he doubts that the 3 AM timing was deliberate and in the second he says that Obama should have avoided even the appearance of evil, given Hillary’s infamous ad.

    I see no beef here. Goldberg is not contradicting himself, rather you are I am displaying a my singular lack of comprehension regarding English, as usual.

    Fix’d.

  64. 64.

    sujal

    August 23, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Not sure if someone made this point upthread, but It’s entirely possible that it wasn’t 3AM but midnight Pacific. Let’s say you were scheduling it to go out saturday, it’s entirely possible you would tell it 8/23/08 00:00:00 and if your servers were in CA / Pacific time…

    though, a cursory check shows they’re hosted in the same data center as my web site outside of Pittsburgh.

  65. 65.

    Crusty Dem

    August 23, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    I got my message at 1:15 CDT, which, I suppose, is 3am in Nova Scotia…

    As for Jonah, that little ratfucker is definitive proof that breastfeeding is unhealthy after the age of 30, particularly from a teat as rancid as Lucianne’s (the milk probably came out curdled).

  66. 66.

    Martin

    August 23, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Well, that is true. Nobody could’ve beaten Obama-Byrd in experience.

    Except for Clinton-Clinton-Byrd. You know, if someone could just stop Obama from killing off Hillary’s superdelegates and covering up the evidence of his non-US birth certificate kerning, she’d win the roll call and that’s precisely what we’d have in November – 124 years of experience on the Democratic ticket. Even McCain isn’t that old.

  67. 67.

    Martin

    August 23, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    Not sure if someone made this point upthread, but It’s entirely possible that it wasn’t 3AM but midnight Pacific. Let’s say you were scheduling it to go out saturday, it’s entirely possible you would tell it 8/23/08 00:00:00 and if your servers were in CA / Pacific time…

    I think it’s pretty obvious that they intended to send it out this morning a few hours before the rally but the news leak caused them to move everything up. They intended to notify the supporters first, but clearly that didn’t happen.

  68. 68.

    piltdown

    August 23, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    You know the McCain camp signed up to receive it too.

    They got their 3:00am call.

    John slept through it.

  69. 69.

    JackieBinAZ

    August 23, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    I’m not wading through these comments +6 in so forgive me if this point has been made, but wouldn’t it make sense that the text message went out when it did because some fuckwad leaked the info first?

    I didn’t get one, btw, even though i registered. oooh does that entitle me to some outrage?

  70. 70.

    rekroc

    August 23, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    Over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that only fucking idiots use the phrase “too clever/cute by half.”

  71. 71.

    Mike

    August 23, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    Or they were planning on sending the text Saturday morning a couple hours before the appearance, but the leaks forced them to send it in the middle of the night, given that they’d promised to break the news via text.

  72. 72.

    Mike

    August 23, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    P.S.

    Biden’s wife = surprisingly young and milfy

  73. 73.

    Porlock Hussein Junior

    August 23, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    “So let’s recap. If the text was deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks. If it wasn’t deliberately sent at 3:00 AM, Obama sucks.”

    I don’t see what your problem is with Goldberg’s logic. It’s a simple matter of symbolic logic, for which I don’t have the symbols, so I’ll have to make do in English.

    An easy theorem: A implies X; and B implies X; therefore (A or B) implies X. Proof left to the reader.

    By substitution: A implies X; not-A implies X; therefore (A or not-A) implies X.

    (A or not-A) implies X; therefore, X. [I. e., X is true].

    Substituting again:

    Something implies Obama sucks; not-something implies Obama sucks; therefore, Obama sucks.

    Quod Erat Demonstrandum: Which is what we (meaning Goldberg) we set out to prove in the first place, at all costs. Which perhaps was not strictly necessary to prove, since anything else you (meaning Goldberg again!) can think of implies Obama sucks.

  74. 74.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 23, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    I didn’t get one, btw, even though i registered. oooh does that entitle me to some outrage?

    Yes, let’er rip! Make sure that you are over the top about it, like you are ready to commit suicide because this tells you that Obama really doesn’t like you. Make it good!

    ;)

  75. 75.

    Brachiator

    August 24, 2008 at 12:29 am

    I didn’t get one, btw, even though i registered. oooh does that entitle me to some outrage?

    I think you’re entitled to one free slap in the face from the Obama campaign.

  76. 76.

    PC

    August 24, 2008 at 12:38 am

    Has anyone checked what time the txt message went out in Mecca? Just sayin…

  77. 77.

    PC

    August 24, 2008 at 12:42 am

    Biden’s wife = surprisingly young and milfy

    Biden’s first wife was the victim of a tragic accident, killed by a drunk driver. In contrast, McCain’s lost his first wife to a tragic accident, John McCain’s ego.

  78. 78.

    DougL

    August 24, 2008 at 2:37 am

    The Other Steve Says:

    Looks like the news is starting to give John McCain some of that coverage he demanded.

    NYTimes looks into his wealth.

    From the article: “Wounded in combat, he returned home a hero…”.

    I must’ve missed something somewhere. I’m sure it was no walk in the park, but how the f*ck does getting shot down and being held as a POW qualify one as “a hero”? Nevermind WTF it has to do with being qualified to be president. Could someone explain?

  79. 79.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 24, 2008 at 4:02 am

    In contrast, McCain’s lost his first wife to a tragic accident, John McCain’s ego.

    When you put it like that…

    Ouch.

  80. 80.

    mellowjohn

    August 24, 2008 at 7:07 am

    “It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!”

    i thing the only thing that ever makes the dpl happy is lying in a hot bathtub with a box of mallomars and a bag of cheetos while masturbating to his picture of ann coulter.

  81. 81.

    Conservatively Liberal

    August 24, 2008 at 8:17 am

    i thing the only thing that ever makes the dpl happy is lying in a hot bathtub sitting on his toilet with a box of mallomars and a bag of cheetos while masturbating to his autographed picture of ann coulter Sean Hannity.

    Fix’d.

  82. 82.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    August 24, 2008 at 9:30 am

    Jonah Goldberg Is A Blithering Idiot

    Truer words were never spoken.

  83. 83.

    4jkb4ia

    August 24, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Needed a double take to remember why 3 A.M. was a Hillary insult. This is exactly why Hillary would never be VP. Everything would be about her.

    I can now post my link completely OT to anything except for wonder that someone did this.

  84. 84.

    4jkb4ia

    August 24, 2008 at 10:30 am

    The link didn’t go through.

  85. 85.

    KXB

    August 24, 2008 at 11:53 am

    The only thing that Obama could do to make Jonah happy is to give him a job better than the one his mommy gave him. Goldberg, Kristol, Bush, and McCain – a true pull yourself by your parents’ bootstraps tale for America.

  86. 86.

    grumpy realist

    August 24, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    I think it was alicublog who described Jonah as akin to a “truculent Tasmanian Devil with its head stuck in a pail.”

  87. 87.

    bartkid

    August 25, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    >It is almost like there is nothing Obama can do to make Jonah happy!

    Sounds like somebody’s running low on Cheetos and is gettin’ cranky.

  88. 88.

    The Crapture

    August 25, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    Of course Obama can find no course of action to please Jonah…the only way that could happen is if Obama could turn into a bag of Cheetos

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