Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself. We’re allowed to grow past that.

FFS people, this was a good thing. take the win.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The Supreme Court is corrupt. Democrats must win in November and force court reform.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

He really is that stupid.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Books are my comfort food!

Celebrate the fucking wins.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Fuck that bum, let’s go Joe!

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

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47Comments

  1. 1.

    Incertus

    When I saw this yesterday, I wondered if anyone who doesn’t know the song was going to be really confused by it. Looked at in a particular way, it could be pro-gay, after all.

  6. 6.

    Buck

    I was not aware of the song so when I saw the sign I was both confused and frightened.

    Reckon how Blacklick, Ohio got its name?

  7. 7.

    Kali's Little Sister

    So now kissing is punishable by eternal damnation.

    Gee, this is a bright, new, happy world they are promising, isn’t it?

  12. 12.

    Kali's Little Sister

    Oh, you make a good point Sam. Kissing is an unnecessary distraction from all the procreating we are obligated to do now.

    Yup. Every minute spent NOT fertilizing eggs is really a form of murder, isn’t it?

  14. 14.

    Dreggas

    Kali’s Little Sister Says:

    So now kissing is punishable by eternal damnation.

    Gee, this is a bright, new, happy world they are promising, isn’t it?

    Yeah it is, Guess Jesus is burning in Hell for kissing men too…

  16. 16.

    oh really

    Martin Says:

    I don’t get it. I kiss my wife all the time and I like it. Am I going to hell?

    If your wife is a “girl,” you are toast. Thanks for asking. The Debble.

  17. 17.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    That sign worries me, because a very solid, factual argument can be made for the existence of Hell.

  18. 18.

    Hiram Cross

    You left out the best part- it’s located in Blacklick, OH.

    That would make for one hell of a summer festival.

  20. 20.

    pharniel

    the girls in hell totally kiss other girls then they both put out.

    it’s not like there’s much to do in the cornfields.

    and when it ices over, wow, mid-west farmer’s daughters are the bestest.

    especially the ‘good girls’

    they like the wierd stuff.

  21. 21.

    r€nato

    if the fundie mentalists are NOT in hell, I am so there.

    doubly so if that’s where the hot girl-on-girl action is for all eternity.

  22. 22.

    SGEW

    So if I’ve kissed a girl, I’m going to go to hell? I guess I might as well go kill a couple thousand people, as the punishment will be the same. . . .

    Deterrence. You’re doing it wrong.

  24. 24.

    NonyNony

    Yeah it is, Guess Jesus is burning in Hell for kissing men too…

    The sign specifically says that kissing GIRLS sends you to Hell.

    Kissing men is clearly fine.

    So I guess men need to be gay and women need to be straight?

    I’m not sure how that would work…

  25. 25.

    Hedley Lamarr

    I thought the natural progression was “getting to third base”, not “I went to hell”

  26. 26.

    redbeardjim

    I thought the natural progression was “getting to third base”, not “I went to hell”

    “And he’s out! No wait, safe, safe at third…”

  27. 27.

    Josh

    SGEW…That reminds me of a fundy woman I once spoke with, who after saying that Jesus declared to even lust after a woman is the same as committing adultery, I asked Then why don’t you just go ahead and have sex with her, if the punishment’s the same. Heehee, that pissed her off.

  28. 28.

    Scrutinizer

    hat reminds me of a fundy woman I once spoke with, who after saying that Jesus declared to even lust after a woman is the same as committing adultery, I asked Then why don’t you just go ahead and have sex with her, if the punishment’s the same.

    Strangely enough, that was my first wife’s position on extramarital sex. “Well, I lusted after him, so…”

    Made sense to me.

  29. 29.

    Xanthippas

    When I saw this yesterday, I wondered if anyone who doesn’t know the song was going to be really confused by it.

    Yeah, me. And I had to do way too much “research” (as in following links for once) to figure it out. And of course I had to watch the video…twice. Thanks for a wasted 15 minutes.

  31. 31.

    Jess

    I did once see a church sign I liked–a message from God saying “Remember what I said about loving one another? I meant it.”

    Wish more of those Christianists had seen it too…

  32. 32.

    AnneLaurie

    I did once see a church sign I liked—a message from God saying “Remember what I said about loving one another? I meant it.”

    That’s why the Respectable People crucified that rabble-rousing, uppity Jesus fella — all His filthy sex talk about ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ and ‘do unto others’ just got on their nerves. If God wants respect from the RPs, He needs to confine himself to talking about ‘smiting’ like a respectable deity should!

  33. 33.

    Badtux

    I kissed a girl and I liked it, but no pastor’s invisible demon took me to an imaginary land under the sea.

    Y’know, we have a name for folks who say they hear stuff being whispered in their ear by an invisible imaginary friend and that this invisible friend wants you to do this, that, or the other. That name is “fuckin’ nuts!”. Look, I worship the Great Penguin Tux, He who laid the egg of the universe and now wants our worship on every Monday via the Sacrament of the Herring conducted at His ice cathedrals (which double as ice-skating rinks the other six days of the week). But I understand that the Great Penguin is imaginary. I understand that I made him up. And if the Great Penguin tells me that everybody who kisses a girl goes to Hell, Michigan, to be flogged for eternity with limp herring by His crack penguin army, I don’t start warning people against kissing girls. I congratulate myself on my fertile imagination.

    Imaginary friends are for folks who don’t have real ones. Just sayin’.

    – Badtux the Tuxologist Penguin

  34. 34.

    SGEW

    Everybody who kisses a girl goes to Hell, Michigan, to be flogged for eternity with limp herring by His crack penguin army.

    I am . . . intrigued by your spiritual teachings, O Wise One. Do you have any illustrated religious pamphlets I could see?

  35. 35.

    Conservatively Liberal

    I am . . . intrigued by your spiritual teachings, O Wise One. Do you have any illustrated religious pamphlets I could see?

    Penguinology? Sounds intriguing. Does it have anything to do with Linux worship?

  36. 36.

    jake

    Dear Gods of Irony and the Baby Jesus, please let Pastor Allison’s knuckledragging parishioners assume he’s a fruit and throw rocks through his window.

  40. 40.

    YellowJournalism

    Btw, if Jill Sobule is in Hell, then that’s another point in Hell’s favor.

    Unfortunately, this sign has nothing to do with the great Jill Sobule song (and cute video). This has to do with the slightly homophobic one by Katy Perry about girls kissing girls as part of some kind of bar adventure. If you listen to it once, you know what hell is, as you won’t be able to get the piece of crap out of your head.

  41. 41.

    Desert Hussein Rat

    By the way, John, if you hadn’t linked to the story, I’d have been convinced that this was from the Church Sign Generator.

  42. 42.

    Desert Hussein Rat

    Desert Hussein Rat Says:

    By the way, Michael, if you hadn’t linked to the story, I’d have been convinced that this was from the Church Sign Generator.

    Fixed.

    I’m a bad person.

  45. 45.

    AnneLaurie

    There really is a town of Hell, Michigan….

    … also a town called Climax, and one that was Intercourse until they re-named it. When I moved to The Big Mitten 30 years ago, one of the native-born signifiers (along with calling tourists “fudgies”) was the highway joke “You *can* get to Climax from Intercourse, but you have to go through Hell first!”

  46. 46.

    Joe

    If God were such a fucking stuck-up asshole as Christians portray him to be, then I don’t want to go to Heaven.

  47. 47.

    Richardson

    So Hell is going to be filled with girls kissing girls? And here I was banking on my 76 virgins in Heaven. I guess it’s a win/win either way now.

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