Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Fuck that bum, let’s go Joe!

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Please don’t feed the bears.

The revolution will be supervised.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickel?”

Peak wingnut was a lie.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

Joe Biden can go out like FDR, not by dying in office, but by crushing the fascists.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

You are here: Home / Moronopedia

Moronopedia

by | 90 Comments

This post is in: 

Via the comments, this “Conservapedia” entry on Obama is pretty priceless. The start of the entry:

Barack Hussein Obama, II (allegedly born in Honolulu,[1][2] August 4, 1961)

Yes, to “conservatives,” whether or not he was even born is suspect. But they are just warming up. Under “Obama and Islam,” this:

Obama is likely to be Muslim because:

* Obama’s background and education are Muslim
* Obama’s middle name remains Muslim, meaning “descendant of Muhammad,” which most Christians would not retain[8] * Obama recently referred to his “Muslim faith”[9] * Obama uses the Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for “Pakistan” rather than the common American one[10] * Obama, in his autobiography “Dreams from My Father” (1995), descibes Muslim Malcolm X as his favorite black leader
* Obama’s claims of conversion to Christianity arose after he became politically ambitious, lacking a date of conversion or baptism.[11]

Who needs the Onion with these guys around?

Reader Interactions

90Comments

  1. 1.

    Martin

    Unfortunately, the mere existance of Conservapedia makes Wikipedia completely suspect – far more so than before, in my view.

  2. 2.

    DragonScholar

    I’m amazed you could resist quoting more of the article – it’s a hilarious piece of wingnuttery.

    Also it’s already being modified . . .

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    Conservapedia practically defines "low-hanging fruit". The people who put that thing together make RedStaters look like erudite moderates. When it was first unleashed onto the world, Jon Swift wrote a classic article about it. They’ve changed the article, but kangaroo used to have this priceless bit:

    Kangaroo: "Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah’s Ark prior to the Great Flood."

    Also this:

    Theory of Relativity: "Nothing useful has even been built based on the theory of relativity.…’All things are relative’ became popular as atheists and others used relativity to attack Christian values. There remains enormous political support for the theory of relativity that has nothing to do with physics, and Congress continues to spend billions of dollars unsuccessfully searching for particles predicted by the theory of relativity."

    Edit: and this, from the current version of the same article:

    There is a correlation between enthusiasm for the theory of relativity and political views. For example, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama helped publish an article by liberal law professor Laurence Tribe to apply the relativistic concept of "curvature of space" to promote a broad legal right to abortion.[36]

    Compared to that, Larry Johnson retreads are run of the mill. (For starters, anybody using a GPS unit is using something that depends on general relativity).

    -dms

  6. 6.

    Comrade Jake

    I’d put good odds on Hugh Hewitt having written that entire piece. While masturbating.

  7. 7.

    Jeff

    I would like one reporter to actually ask anyone of these Muslim hating wingnuts, "What religions are acceptable for the President and please be specific with regards to denominations?"

    Also, ask if any of them had read Article VI of the constitution.

  8. 8.

    WarrenTarragon

    Hearing McCain’s New Mexico rant today for the second time.

    Goddam, if that isn’t the craziest fucking political speech I have ever heard in my life.

    The fucking guy has truly lost it. Not the election, which he has, but his marbles. His dignity.

    A-fucking-mazing.

  10. 10.

    BombIranForChrist

    Ah, the poor down-trodden conservatives. The Elite think they are stupid, but they know what’s true.

  11. 11.

    Anonymoose

    Interestingly, Conservapedia is the production of a spawn of Phyllis Schlafly, Andrew Schlafly. He’s putting his ivy league law degree to good use as the chief legal counsel to his wiki, most likely because not a single firm worth it’s weight in spit would hire him.

    A mockery of him can be found here

  12. 12.

    Stuck in the Fun House

    I’d put good odds on Hugh Hewitt having written that entire piece. While masturbating.

    Or Pam Atlas, with Hewitt and Goldfarb in a Ménage à trois from Hell.

  13. 13.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    Obama claimed to have visited 57 states while campaigning for president of the United States, which of course has only 50 states.[13] He could never explain where the false number of 57 came from, but it has been observed that there are 57 Islamic states and Obama was educated at an Islamic grade school while he lived in an Islamic country.[14]

    That’s just awesome. Pure, unadulterated awesome.

  14. 14.

    Jay B.

    Obama, in his autobiography “Dreams from My Father” (1995), descibes Muslim Malcolm X as his favorite black leader

    I’m pretty sure he wrote "Malcolm Jamal Warner" because there would be a
    Also: I like how he hid his latent (or expressed?) Islamic faith by going to a fire and brimstone Christian preacher for 25 years.

  15. 15.

    Jay B.

    Obama, in his autobiography “Dreams from My Father” (1995), descibes Muslim Malcolm X as his favorite black leader

    I’m pretty sure he wrote "Malcolm Jamal Warner" because there would be a .001% chance this would have been the first I’d be hearing about Obama embracing Malcolm X. That, or the functional morons who "write" for that joke don’t have a single honest bone in their bodies and/or, they can’t read.

    Also: I like how he hid his latent (or expressed?) Islamic faith by going to a fire and brimstone Christian preacher for 25 years.

  16. 16.

    bhagamu

    My favorite one, without a doubt is:

    Obama uses the Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for “Pakistan” rather than the common American one[10]

    What, seriously? I’m unAmerican if I don’t say Pack-E-stan?

    What’s the correct "American" pronunciation for Iraq, "eye-rack" or "a-rock"?

  17. 17.

    Jeff

    Also: I like how he hid his latent (or expressed?) Islamic faith by going to a fire and brimstone Christian preacher for 25 years.

    That’s easy, he is a black Christian preacher so he actually went to a Mosque.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    The Democratic party feels it necessary to keep all questions about Obama at a safe distance. It is an unprecedented move to keep secrets about a Presidential candidate.

    Surprisingly, Conservapedia has articles on both Sarah Palin and irony.

    -dms

  19. 19.

    Not My Fault

    I love Conservapedia
    They can’t get rid of the trolls because they can’t even tell themselves who is trolling.

  20. 20.

    Comrade Jake

    What’s the correct "American" pronunciation for Iraq?

    I’m partial to clusterfuck.

  21. 21.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    He could never explain where the false number of 57 came from.

    There are 57 contests in the Democratic primary. How fucking hard was that?

  22. 22.

    Laura W

    Didja see Tweety break into an Olbermannesque Special Comment tonight about the McShame attempt to paint Obama as an unknown?
    When people like Tweety and Campbell Brown start looking into the camera and actually saying their own words, expressing their own feelings — it can only be good for McCain.

  23. 23.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Chris just asked who in the hell are those x% that think the country is heading in the right direction, what with the stock market crashing every night, unemployment skyrocketing, etc. The answer, Chris, is those folks that are expectantly awaiting Armageddon.

  24. 24.

    The People's Glorious Pantload of Studliness

    So, the "Heinz 57 Varieties" tag is some sorta Muslim code? Funny they didn’t trot that li’l zinger out in ’04.

    Hey, over at the GOS (DKos), the other GOS (Keith Olbermann) is advertising a Special Rant, tonight, aimed at Darth Mader. Only, this time he promises fewer indignant flecks of spit on the camera lens and more leisurely snark (the Mrs. and I joke about how, after one of his typical special comments, we feel like we have to go to bed without supper).

    Some KO, some cabernet. Sounds like a plan.

  25. 25.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    Obama’s middle name remains Muslim, meaning “descendant of Muhammad,” which most Christians would not retain

    Wow, guess they never looked at a baby name site. Every one of ’em says something equivalent to Juan Cole’s description:

    Now let us take the name "Hussein." It is from the Semitic word hasan, meaning "good" or "handsome." Husayn is the diminutive, affectionate form. …There have been lots of Husseins in history, from the grandson of the prophet Mohammed, a hero who touched the historian Gibbon, to King Hussein of Jordan, one of America’s most steadfast allies in the 20th century. The author of the beloved American novel "The Kite Runner" is Khaled Hosseini.

    Salon

  26. 26.

    Scrooge McDuck

    For real fun, read the edits page.

    There, you can see the back-and-forth between regular conservatives and nutball conservatives over the content of the entry.

    Please notice that the queen bee of Conservapedia is Andrew Schlafly, the son of longterm conservative (and anti-gay) activist Phyllis Schafly. He rules capraciously, and with an iron fist.

  27. 27.

    syl

    Any good trip through conservapedia sould always include a stop at the Most Visited Pages entry. As of this writing, it features both "homosexuality" and "ex-homosexuals." Remember, they think about it all the time, but only to remind themselves how gross it is.

  28. 28.

    Arguingwithsignposts

    From the "Talk" section about Obama – I can’t tell if this is snark or for real:

    Look at this photo, is this Barack Obama’s birth certificate? Visitor 23:44, 22 August 2008 (EDT)

    It’s interesting that they finally give the, so-called authentic, birth certificate number in this supposedly unfaked photo. It is 151 1961 – 010641. The reason I bring this up, and I think the REAL reason this was masked, is because numerological analysis shows something very disturbing. If you add up the three sets of digits thus:

    151 + 1961 + 010641 = 12753

    and then add the individual digits of the result thus:

    1 + 2 + 7 + 5 + 3 = 18

    the final result, 18, is the product of three sixes (3 x 6 = 18). Three sixes, or 666, sort of speaks for itself. I just thought this was interesting. –AdmiralNelson 11:22, 23 August 2008 (EDT)

  29. 29.

    Common Sense

    Someone here is responsible for the recent edits. Fess up, whoever you are. I’ve got a gold star for whomever added this:

    —-

    Obama and Islam (not!)

    Obama is not at all likely to be Muslim because:

    * Obama’s background and education are mostly Christian
    * Obama’s middle name is common among both Muslims and Christians in West Asia and East Africa, and means "handsome"
    * Andy Schafly seriously thinks there’s a ‘Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for "Pakistan"’ but that’s got nothing to do with Obama
    * Obama’s claims of conversion to Christianity arose after he became politically ambitious… OK, I’ll let you have that one.

    Obama is a worshipper of baked beans because her claimed to have visited 57 states while campaigning for president of the United States, which of course is the same number as the ‘Varieties’ mentioned in the Heinz Food Company’s famous slogan

  31. 31.

    Tattoosydney

    The odds of Obama being truthful in his claim that he converted to Christianity are less than 100 to 1 against it, as fewer than 1% of Muslims convert to Christianity.

    Obama downplays his Islamic background by claiming that his Kenyan Muslim father was a "confirmed atheist" before Obama was born, but in fact less than 1% of Kenyans are atheists, agnostics or non-religious.[15]

    I just love the delusional use of statistical probability here…

    name + "Pokistan" + Malcolm X x wingnut factor = MOOOSLIM!!!

  32. 32.

    AkaDad

    I like how he hid his latent (or expressed?) Islamic faith by going to a fire and brimstone Christian preacher for 25 years.

    Obama has been planning to run for President since he was in kindergarten. He’s a typical Democrat, willing to do whatever it takes to gain power.

  34. 34.

    Polish the Guillotines

    @dmsilev:
    The biggest local talk radio station in my market runs Paul Harvey. This morning, PH junior referred to science as "the golden calf of science", and scientists as "pseudo-explainers."

  35. 35.

    dmsilev

    That part about the theory of relativity HAS to be satire, right? …Right?

    I’m afraid not. I think their objection to relativity is what it does to Young Earth Creationism. Just a guess, though; my ability to sort through the nonsense is rather less than the quantity of nonsense on offer.

    -dms

  36. 36.

    toujuoursdan

    Good grief. Even if Obama was a Muslim, who cares? There are many progressive minded Muslims out there. Fox News and the wingnuts keep confusing Obama with Rep. Keith Ellison of Minneapolis, who is the Muslim congressmen that swore his oath on the Qu’ran. What seems left out of the news is that Keith is one of the more progressive members of Congress. He has lobbied hard for LGBT rights, including gay marriage, for abortion rights, against FISA and for single payer healthcare. If this is how Muslim American politicians act, the U.S. should elect more of them.

    Dan
    (who is an Episcopalian)

  37. 37.

    Zuzu Hussein's Petals

    Yeah, A Schafley seems to take a personal interest in editing this page. Check out how many times he’s taken charge:

    Editing history

    And his comments on the talk page are hilarious and scary at the same time:

    Talk page

    Andy’s defense of the "Pokistan" pronunciation is classic.

    And check out the nutter AdmiralNelson’s numerology take on Obama’s birth certificate number (hint: it involves the antichrist!).

  38. 38.

    dmsilev

    The biggest local talk radio station in my market runs Paul Harvey. This morning, PH junior referred to science as "the golden calf of science", and scientists as "pseudo-explainers."

    Doesn’t surprise me. I am a practicing scientist (subspecies physicist), and we come across a fair number of nuts on a regular basis. My favorite was the time I was interviewed by a local Spanish-language TV station. They were doing a story on some nonsense, and wanted to talk to "a scientist" for comment. The nonsense was the theory by someone in Japan that if you take drops of water, put them on a cookie sheet, and put the sheet in the freezer, the ice crystals you get will be prettier if you think happy thoughts at them. Keeping a straight face during that interview is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (question: "Could quantum mechanics make this possible?" Me: "No.").

    -dms

  39. 39.

    Polish the Guillotines

    Doesn’t surprise me. I am a practicing scientist (subspecies physicist), and we come across a fair number of nuts on a regular basis.

    My brother called it fifteen years ago. Said we were heading into a new Dark Ages.

  41. 41.

    Deborah

    Just to quibble pedantically: That should read "the odds are less than 1 in 100." Leaving aside all the glaring logical inconsistencies of the statement and just looking at their mathematics, these people should not be allowed to touch the economy if their grasp of statistics is this bad.

  42. 42.

    Busta

    I love Conservapedia. There is no better barometer of the storm of bullshit conservativism has become.

  43. 43.

    Kamishna ya Watu Xenos

    allegedly born in Honolulu

    What, are they implying he was hatched in Honolulu?

    Could he be… Son of Mothra?

  44. 44.

    Llelldorin

    It’s always nice to know that Conservapedia is a fan of Deutsche Phyisk. There’s nothing quite like lining up with actual Nazis to let everyone know which side you’re on.

  45. 45.

    Tattoosydney

    However, clearly Obama would have taken days off of school in observance of Islamic holidays, just as he would have taken days off from his previous school in observance of Catholic holidays.

    Oh. My. God. A six year old took days off when his school was closed because of heathen religious festivals.

    He must be a mooslim terrorist.

  46. 46.

    Conservatively Liberal

    You can fit the collective knowledge of the wingnuts into a walnut shell and it will look like it actually belongs there.

    Obama is a worshipper of baked beans because her claimed to have visited 57 states while campaigning for president of the United States, which of course is the same number as the ‘Varieties’ mentioned in the Heinz Food Company’s famous slogan

    Gold star?! How about the Medal of Freedom? That line is nothing but net and full of WIN.

    Fucking hilarious!

  47. 47.

    Tattoosydney

    The Democratic party feels it necessary to keep all questions about Obama at a safe distance. It is an unprecedented move to keep secrets about a Presidential candidate. The following questions remain sealed from the public.
    …
    17. Access to his Grandmother

    The mind boggles…

  48. 48.

    tripletee (formerly tBone)

    anybody using a GPS unit is using something that depends on general relativity

    I’m sorry, I can’t let this vile heresy stand. No doubt your liberal college professors never clued you in to this, but GPS is an abbreviation for "God’s Positioning System." Each GPS unit is connected via invisible tendrils of His will to the firmament. These tendrils stretch as you move over the flat surface of the Earth, and thus your position can be determined.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a new Conservapedia entry to write.

  49. 49.

    gbear

    From the WP’s ‘The Trail’. Sorry it’s so long but it was hard to edit:

    CLEARWATER, Fla. — "Okay, so Florida, you know that you’re going to have to hang onto your hats," Sarah Palin told a rally of a few thousand here this morning, "because from now until Election Day it may get kind of rough."

    You betcha. And the person dishing out the roughest stuff at the moment is Sarah Palin.

    "I was reading my copy of the New York Times the other day," she said.

    "Booooo!" replied the crowd.

    "I knew you guys would react that way, okay," she continued. "So I was reading the New York Times and I was really interested to read about Barack’s friends from Chicago."

    It was time to revive the allegation, made over the weekend, that Obama "pals around" with terrorists, in this case Bill Ayers, late of the Weather Underground. Many independent observers say Palin’s allegations are a stretch; Obama served on a Chicago charitable board with Ayers, now an education professor, and has condemned his past activities.

    "Now it turns out, one of his earliest supporters is a man named Bill Ayers," Palin said.

    "Boooo!" said the crowd.

    "And, according to the New York Times, he was a domestic terrorist and part of a group that, quote, ‘launched a campaign of bombings that would target the Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol,’" she continued.

    "Boooo!" the crowd repeated.

    "Kill him!" proposed one man in the audience.

    Palin went on to say that "Obama held one of the first meetings of his political career in Bill Ayers’s living room, and they’ve worked together on various projects in Chicago." Here, Palin began to connect the dots. "These are the same guys who think that patriotism is paying higher taxes — remember that’s what Joe Biden had said. "And" — she paused and sighed — "I am just so fearful that this is not a man who sees America the way you and I see America, as the greatest force for good in the world. I’m afraid this is someone who sees America as ‘imperfect enough’ to work with a former domestic terrorist who had targeted his own country."

    "Boooo!" said the audience.

    gbear edit: well that whole post was supposed to be in italics. It’s all from the WP. Bold is mine.

  50. 50.

    Onihanzo

    Have you seen the latest indictment from Doughy Pantsload?

    When asked by sci-fi website io9.com what science fiction is a must read before choosing a presidential candidate, Jonah replied with an episode of Angel, Season 4.

    Quoth the Cheeto-king:

    In the story, the world is mesmerized by a god from another dimension played by a charismatic black woman who truly does bring universal peace and love to the planet. Her only price: we all must worship her (and provide her with a statistically irrelevant number of humans to eat) and unify around our love for her.

    I don’t think Obama is evil or a villain of any kind. But the lesson is pretty valid. Obama is the high priest of a cult of unity. Unity can be useful, but it is also very, very dangerous. That’s why the founders conceived of a system of divided government, after all.

    Sonuvabitch owes me a monitor for that last part.

  51. 51.

    Cruel Jest

    My all time favorite Conservapedia find:

    That said, I thought the Catholic Church should have considered canonizing Terri Schiavo, but I found resistance by some to the suggestion of canonizing someone in her state. I don’t see any reason not to.–Aschlafly 16:04, 18 February 2007 (EST)

    Link

    This guy is insane. I like that they always say Liberals hate Conservapedia because we’re afraid of it. On the contrary, I want them to keep going forever.

  52. 52.

    Comrade Jake

    Remember when that show "Cops" was popular on Fox? I remember watching it a few times and thinking, who the hell are these people they’re arresting? It just placed a microscope on all things ugly about Americans.

    That Conservapedia "Talk Page" gives me the same feeling. Who the fuck are these people?

  53. 53.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Great news, BTW: I’ve been selected to receive 174 thousand dollar Walmart gift cards.

  55. 55.

    Comrade Nixon Hailfire Palin

    "And"—she paused and sighed—"I am just so fearful that this is not a man who sees America the way you and I see America, as the greatest force for good in the world. I’m afraid this is someone who sees America as ‘imperfect enough’ to work with a former domestic terrorist who had targeted his own country."

    At this point, I’m guessing no pressers or further interviews (except maybe Hannity, etc.) from now on. She cannot risk a question from anyone not in the tank for her.

  56. 56.

    SpotWeld

    Be careful dipping into the CP man.
    That kinda stupid tends to suck you in.
    It’s like getting hooked on slasher films. But with stupid instead of gore.

  57. 57.

    Conservatively Liberal

    I’m sorry, I can’t let this vile heresy stand. No doubt your liberal college professors never clued you in to this, but GPS is an abbreviation for "God’s Positioning System." Each GPS unit is connected via invisible tendrils of His will to the firmament. These tendrils stretch as you move over the flat surface of the Earth, and thus your position can be determined.

    We elitists prefer to use FSMPS because the Enriched Noodle-Optic connections allow for more accurate position locating. Plus it makes it easy to find the nearest Italian restaurant if you are hungry.

    Put that in your Conservapedia update and smoke it.

  58. 58.

    oh really

    By the time conservatives finish dumbing themselves down, they won’t have the intellectual tools to survive in the Stone Age.

  59. 59.

    Napoleon

    Good God, I went and visited that link on Andrew Shafly upthead and that joker shares the exact same birthday as me.

  61. 61.

    Kamishna ya Watu Xenos

    By the time conservatives finish dumbing themselves down, they won’t have the intellectual tools to survive in the Stone Age.

    Actually, you had to be pretty damn smart to survive during the stone age. Reproductive fitness took hard work and cleverness, unlike today. See Idiocracy; Harvard Business School; Bush Administrations I & II; Lucianne.com.

  62. 62.

    Elderta

    Someone edited it with this:

    Obama and Islam (not!)
    Obama is not at all likely to be Muslim because:
    -Obama’s background and education are mostly Christian
    -Obama’s middle name is common among both Muslims and Christians in West Asia and East Africa, and means "handsome"
    -Andy Schafly seriously thinks there’s a ‘Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for "Pakistan"’ but that’s got nothing to do with Obama
    -Obama’s claims of conversion to Christianity arose after he became politically ambitious… OK, I’ll let you have that one.
    Obama is a worshipper of baked beans because her claimed to have visited 57 states while campaigning for president of the United States, which of course is the same number as the ‘Varieties’ mentioned in the Heinz Food Company’s famous slogan

    …but it’s gone now…

  63. 63.

    kommrade jakevich

    The odds of Obama being truthful in his claim that he converted to Christianity are less than 100 to 1 against it, as fewer than 1% of Muslims convert to Christianity.

    Unless we put them to the sword destroy their homes scatter their families [fap fap fap fap]!!

    17. Access to his Grandmother

    Um. Eww.

    In the story, the world is mesmerized by a god from another dimension played by a charismatic black woman who truly does bring universal peace and love to the planet.

    OMG! Sarah Palin wants to eat Jöhan LœdedHosen!

    These assholes are having the time of their lives. They’ve got so many reasons to shit their pants and wallow in the dookie of fear they have to flip a coin to pick the wig-out du jour.

    p.s. Is there a tutorial on un-bolding the blockquotes? Putting an /b tag at the end of one didn’t work.

  64. 64.

    Polish the Guillotines

    Who the fuck are these people?

    They’ve been around for a long time. And it’s funny how familiar the rhetoric is from crisis to crisis. It’s always about fear, resentment, tribalism, and blame. Last time, it was Jews in the cross-hairs, this time it’s gonna be Muslims and Mexicans. Oh, what the hell, it’ll be Jews too.

  67. 67.

    Shaggy

    When someone at the Palin campaign stop said "Kill him" after Obama’s name was spoken, did the Secret Service do anything about it?

    Like asking the man a few pointed questions, or asking him vague question while holding a pointed stick?

  68. 68.

    Tattoosydney

    p.s. Is there a tutorial on un-bolding the blockquotes? Putting an /b tag at the end of one didn’t work.

    Jakevitch – I do the following:

    Paste quote.
    Select quote.
    Press "P" button.
    Select all of the quote including P tags.
    Press "B-Quote" button

    A bit of a pain, but that has been working for me. Thanks to Mary (?) who first suggested it (I think)…

  69. 69.

    Cruel Jest

    Jeremy,

    I visited your little shack. Simply adorable. You could use some antlers, maybe. And more cowbell. Really, your "upgrade" is composed entirely of FAIL. It’s hard to read and a train wreck of bad design.

    Ironically, you misspelled "collegiate."

    That you attract attention to yourself is a testament to your ignorance. You really don’t know how stupid you are, do you? It’s lucky you are so good-looking. That will get you far.

  70. 70.

    Tattoosydney

    Good God, you’re a damn moron.

    Read this.

    Impulse voting, which is what many supporters of Sen. Barack Obama are doing, is when one does one of more of the following:

    * Fully supports a candidate early on without a full knowledge of a candidate’s stances

    Maverick!

    * Ignores shortcomings and negative information about a candidate

    Keating! Maverick!

    * Chooses a candidate based on only a one or two pieces of information- his/her skin color, religion, political party,

    Republican! Maverick!

    * Chooses a candidate because they are different from the current president, and that’s all that matters

    Maverick! Maverick! Maverick!

    * You see my pattern?

    All tool clearly.

    (Edit: Not edited because "tool" counts as fortuitous freudian mistype.)

  72. 72.

    Onihanzo

    Jeremy,

    Free keg for every hit you can score? A t-shirt. It’s gotta be for a t-shirt.

    Surely to hell you’re not debasing yourself to linking to your cute little webpage because of some sad little need for attention.

    You’re getting something else out of it besides that, right? You can tell me.

  73. 73.

    Tattoosydney

    I believe in God, a strong family, and leading a moral lifestyle. I believe that homosexuality is a sin which will be punished with an eternity in hell, and even besides religion I find homosexuality grossly inappropriate, immoral and disgusting. Homosexuality is not found in religion OR nature, and that should tell you something. All too often do people use homosexuality as a way to escape real life and the accountability of certain things. Just because you were abused as a child, didn’t fit in, or had an extra hard life doesn’t mean you were “born gay”. However, that’s enough of that talk; look for my post on morals in the near future.

    Jeremy, there are so many things wrong with this paragraph that it would take hours to respond. Your vehemence about this (and you dropping it into the middle of a post that is supposed to be about voting patterns for no reason) suggest that this is a little too close to the bone for you.

    I will restrict myself to noting that I’m not trying to escape from anything, I had a happy childhood, lots of friends and my parents were well off.

    It’s just that I like sucking cock.

  75. 75.

    Onihanzo

    Dammit, Tattoosydney, you’re going to scare him off. With myiqisanegativeinteger and p.luk gone, where are we going to find a new Darrell?

    *puts a brownie under a propped up crate and hides in the bushes, string in hand*

  76. 76.

    Anne Laurie

    Fox News and the wingnuts keep confusing Obama with Rep. Keith Ellison of Minneapolis, who is the Muslim congressmen that swore his oath on the Qu’ran.

    That’s because all those people look alike. A certain subset of the self-styled Masters of the Universe take great pride in being unable to tell one nigra/womin/kweer from any other not-white-male-unperson. Once when a certain Very Important Pointy-Haired Boss threw a public temper tantrum because he "couldn’t remember" which "girl" (the 40ish fat Irish-American woman, the 20-something model-wannabe Italian-American woman, the African-American female high-school intern, or the young WASP *male* temp) he’d given three contradictory sets of instructions about the routing of a certain e-mail, a voice from the gallery whispered, "He’s never tasted coffee that hasn’t been spit in, has he?"

  77. 77.

    kommrade jakevich

    Let’s see. "Jeremy Buff," is a homophobic conservative college student. He is slightly more articulate than Sarah Palin and has the spelling skills of Dan Quayle.

    I say it’s time to play "Spoof or Gannon?"

  79. 79.

    Conservatively Liberal

    Jeremy Buff is a conservative college student who has been making waves through the political blogosphere since his blog first came online in 2008. Since then, thousands of readers have visited his blog and have contributed with their own comments telling me what a dim fuckwit I am.

    Fixed.

    Since 2008? Wow, I am in total awe of the depth and breadth of your political knowledge. Are you out of diapers yet or is mommy still tasked with that foul job? Tip: Wash the Cheetos cheese dust off of your hands before your next Palin fwopp-fest, your mom will appreciate it. Really.

    The ‘making waves’ line is reminiscent of the ratfucking Villarreal Brothers and their online self-lovefest. The only waves that these asshats make are the ones that happen when they hit the toilet.

    I agree with the lack of cowbell Jeremy. More cowbell!

    And learn how to spell you moran.

    One other tip Jeremy, head over to Confluence and look up myiq2xu GoatBoy. You too can be in this picture with him!

  80. 80.

    Comrade jvill

    Thank you for posting this. I’m studying for my stats midterm as we speak (I’m taking a break, alright?!), and this bit:

    The odds of Obama being truthful in his claim that he converted to Christianity are less than 100 to 1 against it, as fewer than 1% of Muslims convert to Christianity.[12]

    .. goes off to my professor as an example of a dumbass but common statistical mistake (ah, sampling assumption errors).

    Extra credit, baby!

    Thanks Conservapedia for helping this liberal get his MBA!

  81. 81.

    Tattoosydney

    Dammit, Tattoosydney, you’re going to scare him off. With myiqisanegativeinteger and p.luk gone, where are we going to find a new Darrell?

    Suerly he’s not going to be scared off by a bunch of limp wristed, child abuse surviving, fag lieberals.

    Hello? Jeremy? Hello?

    Are you going to respond, or are you too busy fwapping away at your terminal?

    Come back and be abused, dammit!

  85. 85.

    Progressive Libertarian

    The chances that my social security number is correct are less than 300,000,000 to 1 against it, as only one American out of 300 million has a given active social security number.

  87. 87.

    Douche Baggins

    It’s interesting that they finally give the, so-called authentic, birth certificate number in this supposedly unfaked photo. It is 151 1961 – 010641. The reason I bring this up, and I think the REAL reason this was masked, is because numerological analysis shows something very disturbing. If you add up the three sets of digits thus:

    151 + 1961 + 010641 = 12753

    and then add the individual digits of the result thus:

    1 + 2 + 7 + 5 + 3 = 18

    the final result, 18, is the product of three sixes (3×6 = 18). Three sixes, or 666, sort of speaks for itself. I just thought this was interesting.—AdmiralNelson 11:22, 23 August 2008 (EDT)

    Oooh, so close! You forgot to keep reducing:

    From 18:

    1 + 8 = 9

    9 further reduces to 3 x 3 — that’s the Trinity thrice, three times as nice!

    In other words, Obama is three times as awesome as God, the Holy Spirit and Jeebus himself. He really is the Messiah.

    But you get 3 out of 10 points for demonstrating the basic technique and showing your work.

  89. 89.

    piminnowcheez

    I think that as Republicans work on their necessary rebranding over these next few years, they should consider giving up the name "Republican Party" in favor of "Counter-Enlightenment" party. Their remaining base clearly consists of those who simply choose magical thinking over empiricism. Might as well call it what it is.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks