Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Democrats are back in array!

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

We still have time to mess this up!

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

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98Comments

  5. 5.

    JenJen

    Sorry, John. As a devout and long, long, LONG-suffering Cincinnati Bengals Fangirl, I rooted for your Steelers only long enough to see them punish the Ravens. As soon as the task was complete, I was back to being a temporary Cards fan. I am nothing if not loyal to my beloved, shitty Bengals.

    I received an invite to the annual Super Bowl Party held by friends today, and the host specifically noted that nobody wearing Steelers garb, nor known (to us) as Steelers fans, would be permitted onto his property for the festivities. :-)

    Go, Kurt Warner!

  6. 6.

    passerby

    Yes John, I have noticed how reserved you’ve been all week, good job controlling the beast. But wait, what the sam hill are we gonna do this weekend with the dearth of NFL football?

    Also, too, I wouldn’t mind another Steelers SB win, but I’m going with the underdogs on this one to, you know, spread the wealth around. See Cinderella dance. Dance Cinderella, dance.

  7. 7.

    jibeaux

    I don’t follow football, but "manamana" is a super catchy song and now it is incomprehensible and not at all catchy. I can only assume that is some Steelers name they’re saying there…

  9. 9.

    Zifnab

    I will be rooting for the Steelers until A) I care what state the Cardinals are from or B) I discover that the Cardinals are actually the Texans in disguise and everyone was just teasing us about our absolutely horrendous football franchise.

  11. 11.

    randiego

    Sorry Cole – love the blog, hate the Steelers. Go RedBirdz!~

    When you finally decide to come to SD you can bring your Stiller crap, but no dissing the local boys.

    PS – I see the Bolts have a regular season game in Pitt again next year. Not sure how that works, but see you then!

  14. 14.

    Media Browski

    Well, at least now I know what sport you’re talking about.

    How is it that a guy who finds the inaugural fanfare overwhelmingly stupid can get into football, possibly the most over-hyped yearly event this side American Idle? (spelling intended)

  15. 15.

    amorphous

    Tell me, do all Steeler fans have such wonderful musical talents? Because I want to kill a puppy now.

  16. 16.

    jTh

    John, ack! but you’ve got a terrible sin-of-omission typo there…

    "Sorry, BUT THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO +WIN+ THE SUPER BOWL."

    C’mon, John. Proof your posts!

  17. 17.

    taylormattd

    Puke. I wonder if they will beat the Cardinals or if the refs will steal it for them, as was the case in 2005.

    Love, a Seahawks fan.

  19. 19.

    KRK

    I live in a really small town far from Pittsburgh, as in "hey, there’s the Pacific Ocean" far. Folks here tend to be very excited about college team loyalties, but there’s generally not too much in the way of people plastering pro team logos all over everything.* I went to the post office yesterday and there was a little dog outside tied with a Steelers leash and wearing a Steelers warmup jacket (or whatever one calls those things people put on dogs). Very surreal.

    *Unless the Mariners are winning.

  21. 21.

    Louise

    GO STEELERS!

    I really want a clean, no discussion win after the last one.

    I do have a backup admiration for Kurt Warner, to save my psyche if the worst happens. But until then, STEELERS!

  22. 22.

    demimondian

    @jTh: Not quite. The proper text would be "The Steelers are going to STEAL the superbowl."

    — demi "where’s Steely McBeam" mondian

  24. 24.

    Franklin

    Super Bowl XX was no doubt ugly. However, the Seahawks were not a very good team in 2005 and they certainly are not good now. If they were "robbed" then they should have been good enough to return to the Super Bowl. They can’t even return to the playoffs.

    Pittsburgh is consistently a solid football team with great coaching and great ownership.

    Go Steelers!

  27. 27.

    DFH no.6

    Well, since the Browns are never, ever going to the Super Bowl (let alone win one)…

    Go Cards!

  31. 31.

    Krista

    Sorry, BUT THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL.

    You’re so cute when you get all excited like that.

    As far as football goes though…meh. I’ve never been interested in it.

    Mind you, I can’t relate to anybody who follows any particular sport or team with a passion that borders on mania. I worked with someone who wanted his baby’s nursery to be festooned with the Toronto Maple Leafs logo. I define that as a form of insanity.

  33. 33.

    Mean Gene

    OK, gotta get this off my chest. I was at Heinz Field during the draft where we picked Troy. My buddy and I were praying we’d find a way to get him and when we did there was much rejoicing. I called my buddy who lives behind enemy lines (Baltimore) to tell him the news and I announced the pick by singing, "…Polamalu (do-do, dee-do-do) Polamalu (do-do-dee-do)".

    The fact that it’s actually pronounced POH-la-MAH-lu doesn’t diminish the fact that I was FIRST with that, goddamit. Had I released that song first I’d be rich. Well, not rich, but I’d have TENS more dollars than I have now.

    And while I bleed Black-and-Gold, the guy who wrote the "Here We Go" song should be burned at the stake. Then drawn-and-quartered. And then I’d get rough with him. I frickin’ HATE that goddam song.

  35. 35.

    comrade rawshark

    Cards!

    The reasons Pitt won in 06 are now coaching AZ. :) (Thank you Dan Rooney for going outside the org for a coach).

    Pitts got a great D but very little O, they’ll slow the Cards O but will they even score? If the Cards hadn’t built such a lead and then relaxed like almost all teams will do*, would Philly have scored in the second half? Would Pitt have beaten the Ravens if Flacco wasn’t making rookie mistakes? Even with those he drove down field and scored, twice making the game uncomfortably close.

    9-7 record aside, I’ve had season tickets for the Cards for years and this team is a lot better than people think they are. They’ve had great athletes but mental midgets for coaches for years. These last two years have been like Parcells showing up in Foxboro.
    Pitt is the favorite and should be and has a real good chance to win but they will be in a game against a very good team.

    * Patriots did that against Indy in the playoffs, the next year they didn’t stop trying to score no matter what the score was. Never. Let. Up.

    FYI for no reason at all.
    I learned yesterday the song in the Polamalu/LT commercial is from The Good,The Bad and The Ugly, l’estassio dell’oro ……. or something.

  37. 37.

    MikeJ

    Smiley, something the fans of Chelsea FC chant. I don’t understand either, but it seems to work on girls in SW6.

  38. 38.

    maya

    Unless the Steelers start praying louder and more often to," Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ", than Kurt Warner, they don’t have a chance.
    There better be crosses on helmets out there.

  41. 41.

    John Cole

    @demkat620: Boring dinner here. Just boiled a piece of chicken, sliced it up and threw it on a salad made of baby spinach, arugula, a little crumbled blue cheese, some sprouts, and some mushrooms with oil and vinegar. I did throw some pomegranate in it, though, which was kind of weird and a last minute thought, but it tasted ok.

    Just was too hungry tonight to make anything elaborate.

  42. 42.

    smiley

    @demkat620: My school never had pizza, much less pizza and green beans. Was it on Fridays? Were the beans a sop to the healthy diet police? Where I grew up, we had dreadful red beans and rice on Fridays, even though the traditional day for them is Monday (laundry day).

  44. 44.

    smiley

    @MikeJ: if it was:
    Celery! Celery!
    If she don’t cum
    I’ll tickle her bum
    with a [something that rhymes with cum and bum]

    Any suggestions anyone?

  45. 45.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    I can’t relate to anybody who follows any particular sport or team with a passion that borders on mania.

    All manly men everywhere are sad to hear this. Sure, a few will pretend to your face that what you said is okay. But in our secret manly men meetings, well, it’s a different story.

    Anyone who ever saw Roberto Clemente throw out a man at the plate from the warning track, or Juan Marichal throw about 20 different pitches for strikes in one game, or Joe Montana throw a little softie pass over defenders and into the fingertips of his receiver in the end zone, or Bill Mazeroski hit it out in the last at bat in the World Series, or heard Russ Hodges call "The Giants win the pennant!" ….

    Well, let’s just say, some people get it, and some do not.

  46. 46.

    Krista

    We had leftover chicken tonight, salad and perogies. I might make nachos later for Battlestar Galactica Supper Happy Fun Hour.

  47. 47.

    comrade rawshark

    I have no idea how I bolded and put that line and all the other stuff at the bottom of my post. The bolded part was the footmote to the asterisk above.

    *Is an asterisk a bold tag?

  48. 48.

    smiley

    @John Cole:

    Just boiled a piece of chicken

    Dude, get yourself a grill. You can buy a cast iron grill pan at the hardware store for about $12.00.

  49. 49.

    Krista

    [something that rhymes with cum and bum]

    Bottle of rum. I think that works nicely within the context of that particular piece of verse.

  51. 51.

    John Cole

    @smiley: I have one, I just wasn’t in the mood to screw with it. I skipped breakfast this morning, so I had lunch really early (10:45) and then by dinner I was just starving.

    BTW- I need some neat way to peel a pomegranate. Every time I do it, it looks like someone has slaughtered a pig in my kitchen.

  52. 52.

    Krista

    Anyone who ever saw Roberto Clemente throw out a man at the plate from the warning track, or Juan Marichal throw about 20 different pitches for strikes in one game, or Joe Montana throw a little softie pass over defenders and into the fingertips of his receiver in the end zone, or Bill Mazeroski hit it out in the last at bat in the World Series, or heard Russ Hodges call "The Giants win the pennant!" ….

    I totally understand being emotionally moved by wonderful moments in sports. I do. When Canada finally won Olympic hockey gold, I cried like a baby. It was amazing. But to be so rabid about a particular sport or sports team that it permeates your entire lifestyle? No, I just don’t get it. And neither does my manly man husband, which is a big relief to me.

    But hey, I’m happy for anybody whose interests and passions bring joy to their lives.

  53. 53.

    Krista

    BTW- I need some neat way to peel a pomegranate. Every time I do it, it looks like someone has slaughtered a pig in my kitchen.

    Get yourself a big bowl of water. Cut the pomegranate in half while it is submerged in the water. Then, while still submerged, scoop them out with your fingers. You’ll have all the lovely little jewel-like pomegranate bits, and no mess whatsoever.

  54. 54.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    And neither does my manly man husband

    So he tells you. But in our secret Manly Man meetings … well, I had better not say too much …..

  55. 55.

    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

    @John Cole: BTW- I need some neat way to peel a pomegranate.

    I have never heard that one exists.

    ETA: until now. Thanks, Krista!

  56. 56.

    comrade rawshark

    @TheHatOnMyCat:
    all good moments but you need some hockey in your life

    Bobby Orr’s Stanley Cup winning goal, anything Mario Lemieux ever did, Cam Neely knocking defensemen to the ice because he just didn’t want to bother deking, Patrick Roy winking as he makes a sick save, every second of action from the Canada Cup in 72,

  59. 59.

    smiley

    @Krista: That works rhythmwise.

    @TheHatOnMyCat: Winner. If a piece of nearly tasteless, fibrous veggie doesn’t do it for her, maybe a beautiful flower would. You women are so complicated.

  61. 61.

    TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)

    Boring dinner here. Just boiled a piece of chicken, sliced it up and threw it on a salad made of baby spinach, arugula, a little crumbled blue cheese, some sprouts, and some mushrooms with oil and vinegar. I did throw some pomegranate in it, though, which was kind of weird and a last minute thought, but it tasted ok.

    No-no, John…"Boring" is the tuna sandwich I just had for lunch here at work. It was some of that "pre-mixed" stuff you can buy at the supermarket. I threw a slice of provolone cheese on it out of desparation.

    I don’t know if I’d "kill" for your boring dinner, but I could easily whimper and look at you with sorry eyes.

  62. 62.

    TenguPhule

    Sorry, BUT THE STEELERS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL TO GET CRUSHED IN AN EPIC LOSS.

    Fixed. Because Holy Joe has spoken.

    ^_^

  63. 63.

    Joshua Norton

    Get yourself a big bowl of water. Cut the pomegranate in half while it is submerged in the water.

    Yes. Video here.

  65. 65.

    TenguPhule

    Just boiled a piece of chicken, sliced it up and threw it on a salad made of baby spinach, arugula, a little crumbled blue cheese, some sprouts, and some mushrooms with oil and vinegar. I did throw some pomegranate in it, though, which was kind of weird and a last minute thought, but it tasted ok.

    There’s your problem. Panfry with some flour, salt, pepper and balsamic vinger. Enjoy.

  66. 66.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    Who let you in our meetings? I’ve never seen you there.

    I’ve been waiting for you to ask for your wallet back.

  67. 67.

    Krista

    Prolly barefoot and using a laptop while in the kitchen right now.

    Has anybody ever told you you’re funny? No? There’s probably a reason for that.

  68. 68.

    p mac

    OK, I’m no steelers fan, but I’ve got to say a Steelers Polka shows some class. It sure cracked me up.

  69. 69.

    Laura W

    She is not only married, but she is knocked up right and proper

    and having a birthday tomorrow.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE, KRISTA!

  70. 70.

    Krista

    @TheHatOnMyCat: Winner. If a piece of nearly tasteless, fibrous veggie doesn’t do it for her, maybe a beautiful flower would. You women are so complicated.

    I don’t know if it would "do it" for her, but if nothing else, she’d probably find the proposal of being tickled in the bum with a chrysanthemum to be very entertaining.

  73. 73.

    Krista

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE, KRISTA!

    Why thank you! Aren’t you sweet?

    I know there are a couple of other Juicers here who have birthdays around this time. Comrade Mary’s one of them, methinks. Anybody else??

  74. 74.

    smiley

    @John Cole: Something I’ve learned about myself in the last couple of years is that I don’t need to eat 3 times a day. For about 2 years now I eat breakfast but not lunch or lunch but not breakfast. I always eat in the evening (around 7-8:00, which I understand is later than many Americans — though not my family). The only reason I’m telling ya’ll this is because I think the need for three "square" meals a day might just be one of the reasons why way too many people in this country are over weight. Then again, I’m not an epidemiologist so what the fuck do I know.

  75. 75.

    TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)

    Anyone who ever saw Roberto Clemente throw out a man at the plate from the warning track,

    I never saw him throw anyone out at the plate from the warning track (except in a film clip, I think), but I DID see him make a throw from the right-field warning track at the L.A. Coliseum (a long, long way from home plate) and the Dodger tag up, but hold at third base. The throw was right on the money, I’m pretty sure the guy would have been out by at least 10 feet (I don’t remember the runner, except it wasn’t Maury Wills or Jim Gilliam…might have been Frank Howard, but still…).

    Damn, that was long time ago.

  76. 76.

    TheAssInTheHatOnMyCat(Formerly Comrade Tax Analyst)

    Krista
    BTW- I need some neat way to peel a pomegranate. Every time I do it, it looks like someone has slaughtered a pig in my kitchen.
    Get yourself a big bowl of water. Cut the pomegranate in half while it is submerged in the water. Then, while still submerged, scoop them out with your fingers. You’ll have all the lovely little jewel-like pomegranate bits, and no mess whatsoever.

    Ah…not only a Sex Goddess, but also very capable/practical in the kitchen.

  78. 78.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    Happy Birthday Krista!

    Have a great one up there at the North Pole or wherever it is you live.

  79. 79.

    TheHatOnMyCat

    I never saw him throw anyone out at the plate from the warning track

    Guy trying to score from second on a base hit, Clemente made a throw that to this day just makes my hair stand up. (Okay, my one hair, but anyway). It was so strong and so true he made it look so easy. I don’t think any baseball play is more exciting than the outfield assist at the plate.

  81. 81.

    robertdsc

    anything Mario Lemieux ever did

    Gretzky did better.

    The Great One > Le Magnifique. Always and forever.

  82. 82.

    comrade rawshark

    The Terrible Towel is from ’75?

    robertdsc
    …

    anything Mario Lemieux ever did

    …
    Gretzky did better.
    ….
    The Great One > Le Magnifique. Always and forever.

    Gretzky was great, no denying, Lemieux was a man playing against boys. Gretzky worked his ass off and got great results, Lemieux floated effortlessly across the ice and made you look bad, bad, bad. Lemieux didn’t even have to try and Gretzky played on better teams with a better surrounding cast.
    I could go on……

    Happy Birthday Krista. I’m sorry I knew you were pregnant but didn’t know you were married. I’ll try to pay more attention. :)

  83. 83.

    Krista

    @Krista: President Obama, even.

    Right. Sorry. :) I’ve been so used to referring to your former President solely by his last name, as "President Bush" implied a respect that I simply refused to grant that man. And all during the primaries and the election, we were all referring to President Obama pretty much solely by last name (or by the affectionate "MUP" moniker). So please forgive my being a little slow to use the new, and very welcome, title for this particular gentleman.

  84. 84.

    John Cole

    The only thing Gretzky had over Lemieux was longevity and a better supporting cast. Otherwise, Lemieux was superior in every way. And Lemieux did much of it hurt.

  86. 86.

    Krista

    JSF: Jeez, you mean to tell me that I felt bad, and wrote up that mea culpa all for nothing?

    Bah.

  87. 87.

    demkat620

    @John Cole:
    Yes and Lemiuex never had it this good: The 86 Oilers

    Wayne Gretzky would lead the league with 183 points, earning his 7th Art Ross Trophy and win his 8th Hart Trophy. Jari Kurri would finish with 54 goals and 108 points, while Mark Messier had a career high 107 points. Esa Tikkanen had a break out season, getting 78 points, including 34 goals, along with 120 penalty minutes. Paul Coffey missed 21 games, but still finished with 67 points to lead Oilers defensemen.

    In goal, Grant Fuhr and Andy Moog would once again split time, with Moog leading the team with 28 wins, while Fuhr posted a team best 3.44 GAA.

  88. 88.

    tom p

    Steelers-Cards… Ummm, what have you done lately? We can all argue over who the better team is (and the CW is the Steeler’s)(I agree), but the truth is that the only thing that matters is "Who is the better team next Sunday?"

    Don’t sell Kurt Warner short. If Pittsburgh can get to him? Game over. If the C’s O-line holds up? Warner will burn them. That is where the game will be won or lost. (and the Steeler’s have to get to him before he let’s go of the ball… Otherwise, he can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’)

    ps: who is Lemioux? Gretzky?

  89. 89.

    Comrade Darkness

    @Krista, in the end it is so freakin’ easy to get this sh*t right. It’s way more work to politicize the crap out of every last stupid thing. No wonder Bush didn’t have time to actually move forward, he was stuck repainting every existing thing into black and white whether it was green and blue or polka dot orange.

  90. 90.

    AnneLaurie

    Were the beans a sop to the healthy diet police? Where I grew up, we had dreadful red beans and rice on Fridays, even though the traditional day for them is Monday (laundry day).

    How long ago was that? Pre-Vatican II (c1964), Catholics weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays, so a lot of schools & diners & such in Catholic-intensive areas offered a "vegetarian option" on Fridays. Since those tradition-bound facilities were pretty frugal, the Friday Special tended to involve mac & cheese, fish fingers, tuna salad, or all three. Red beans & rice, no matter how overcooked, would have been an improvement over those fish fingers, believe me!

  92. 92.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Actually shall we just keep saying that over and over again "President Obama" "President Obama" "President mother fucking Obama bitches" "President closing Gitmo, banning torture, restoring the rule of law mother fucking Obma" Okay I will stop now. Nope actually I would like to add "President he has a birth certificate and it doesn’t matter if the oath was misspoken cause it has no legal relevance fucking Obama" Obama is the President. Read it and weep. It is so good that the grown ups are in charge at last. I will never get tired of saying "President Obama"

  93. 93.

    laxel

    Gotta say glad they got there the way they did… Had the Steelers and the over. That interception TD at the end made a couple of us stand up and cheer (damn Steelers were just gonna sit on the ball and not worry about getting over no 35 and a half points).

    Liked the way they got there, but I’m gonna have to go with the underdog Cards, because I am a Lions fan. Loud and pround111!!o1O go lions11 Superbowl next year and you know it.

  94. 94.

    Beej

    @Krista: It is a form of insanity. The word "fan" comes from "fanatic". However, there is a very specific set of circumstances which makes this mania nearly inevitable, and, in some cases, at least, absolutely essential. For example: I live in Nebraska. We have no major league sports teams here. We have only one major university. The University of Nebraska at Lincoln is in the eastern quarter of the state. The western end of the state is nearly 500 miles from Lincoln but is only about 100 miles from Cheyenne, Wyoming. From time to time there have been half-hearted rumblings that the Nebraska panhandle ought to secede from Nebraska and join Wyoming since it has much more in common with that state than with the eastern end of Nebraska.

    What holds this state together? The University of Nebraska Cornhusker football team. There are people from Scottsbluff, Nebraska, on the Wyoming border, who never miss a home game. They drive 12 hours each way and change time zones in order to see the Huskers play football 5 or 6 times in the fall of every year. It is insanity. It’s also kind of cool.

  97. 97.

    smiley

    @AnneLaurie:

    Catholics weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays, so a lot of schools & diners & such in Catholic-intensive areas offered a "vegetarian option" on Fridays.

    Pretty sure that’s why. @demimondian:

    Catholics weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays, so a lot of schools & diners & such in Catholic-intensive areas offered a "vegetarian option" on Fridays.

    Pretty sure ours didn’t have the pork. Just canned kidney beans and very starchy rice.

  98. 98.

    sab

    Those pink muppets remind me of my late, much lamented german shepherd. No matter how hard she tried to talk, she just could not enuciate her words to make them comprehensible to humans. We just laughed at her efforts, and she kept trying to talk.

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