Multiple Choice Mitt steps in it:
In the latest instance of a high-profile GOP member taking a passing swipe at the party’s 2008 vice-presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Governor and GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney jokingly dismissed Sarah Palin’s inclusion on Time’s list of influential people in an interview broadcast Sunday.
He asked, was “the issue on the most beautiful people or the most influential people?”
Romney, appearing on CNN’s “State of the Union,” was replying to a question from moderator John King on whether Time’s inclusion of Palin and talk show host Rush Limbaugh on their list of “The World’s Most Influential People” was good or bad for the Republican Party.
Romney, who has not ruled out another White House bid, said he wanted more influential Republicans on the list before adding pointedly: “I think there are a lot more influential Republicans than that would suggest.”
“But was that the issue on the most beautiful people or the most influential people?” he continued. “I’m not sure. If it’s the most beautiful, I understand. We’re not real cute.”
Well played, Mitt. Infuriate the part of the base that is smitten with Palin, and alienate any independent women by making remarks about Palin’s appearance.
Short Bus Bully
I guess it just goes to show how many Republicans were privately seething with John McCain’s choice, it’s just that they didn’t want to be the first one to stop clapping.
Brain dead, lock step, automotons? Yes, please!
sgwhiteinfla
In the interests of fairness if you believe that he was talking about Sarah Palin then that would mean he was also calling Rush Limbaugh beautiful. Just watch the video and even though its clipped you see that John King mentions both Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh being the only 2 conservatives to make the list. Its just Politico drumming up interest and hopefully a Drudge link. I have no use for Romney but he was taking a shot at Time magazine for not having more conservatives in their top 100, not Sarah Palin.
Comrade Darkness
OT
From the WSJ: Firms Face New Tax Curbs,
Obama Plan Aims to Limit Use of Offshore Havens by Multinationals and the Wealthy
Law and order, b*tches.
Elvis Elvisberg
From a dude who looks like a Ken doll, no less. Shrewd.
Genine
He’s just being a good republican. Apparently, nowadays, alienating people is the path to election gold!
The Moar You Know
Go, Mittens!
Circular firing squad on full automatic fire.
noncarborundum
But … but … but … I thought Romney’s manly, chiseled chin was one of his most important assets. At least that’s what Chris Matthews tells me.
Warren Terra
I’m with Elvis on this one – beyond managing to criticize Palin in a way that mostly misses the point of her problems and offends women, Mitt is really in no position to point out the excessive beauty of other politicians. His successful gubernatorial run in Massachusetts was truly a thing to behold – a string of carefully noncontroversial empty statements with some of the most amazingly choreographed photoshoots I’ve ever seen. It really was a campaign for a Ken Doll, and it worked.
rob!
Weird-I assumed the program that is used to run Mitt Romney prevents him from saying anything negative about other Republicans:
1. A Republican may not injure a Republican or, through inaction, allow a Republican to come to harm.
2. A Republican must obey orders given to it by other Republicans, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A Republican must protect its own existence. That is all.
MattF
Looking for actual meaning in Romney’s statements is an error– he’s just testing the waters, trying out different catchphrases. He’ll go eventually with whatever. It’s all the same to him, as long as the person who gets elected is named “Mitt”.
Zifnab
@Elvis Elvisberg: Plastic hair, painted-on smile, and skin-toned permanent underwear? That’s our Mittens.
Isn’t there some dog Mitt should be strapping to the top of his car?
sgwhiteinfla
Relevant exchange starts at around 4:25
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2009/05/04/am.intv.cantor.cnn
D-Chance.
From the “OK, which is it?” department:
Memeo link to a NYT article: “Worries Rise on the Size of U.S. Debt — The nation’s debt clock is ticking faster than ever — and Wall Street is getting worried. — As the Obama administration racks up an unprecedented spending bill for bank bailouts, Detroit rescues, health care overhauls and stimulus plans …”
Looking over at the sidebar to today’s stock prices… Dow +192.82, Nasdaq +32.34, S&P 500 +20.39…
BTW, where have all the blog posts and charts showing the Dow performance since Obama’s inauguration gone? Seemed like it was only a month or so ago when everyone had one up showing the Dow at 6800 and “oh, it’s crashing… tee-hee”.
Frodo
@rob!:
If Susan Calvin was alive she would be rolling in her grave!
Tsulagi
Yep, plus demonstrate how visually and mentally challenged you are to that huge, and weird, strain of closet gay in the Republican party.
It was pointed out to Mitt before his comment, in addition to Sarah, Rush Limbaugh is on that list. Rush is beautiful to Mitt? Okay, maybe to RSSF Commander EE Rush is one of his dreamy rough men at the ready, but I would hope the majority of even Pub gays would have some sense of taste.
blogenfreude
@The Moar You Know: My favorite part is when they bayonet their own survivors.
jrg
Romney’s telling the truth – does anyone really believe that Palin would have been picked if she was not good looking?
At least he’s not lying, but he’d be better off without taking the honest, but tactless “That’s one ugly baby” approach.
flounder
From my reading, I think he was trying to say Limbaugh is a beautiful person.
YellowJournalism
Romney’s comments may have smigden of truth to them, but he’s still an ass for dismissing her pick as just being about her looks. Like it or not, positively or not, Palin did have some major influence over the 2008 campaign outcome. Her VP pick turned away many McCain supporters and brought in a lot of PUMAs and others who were “enchanted” by her or suckered into believing her pick was some step forward for women.
You could say she turned off as many as she turned on.
I love the fact that her inclusion was written up by Ann Coulter.
Keith G
Didn’t see a whole lot to be worked up about.
Not anywhere near “Who let the dogs out?”
David
It’s not news to the Freeper-type Wingnuts that the Romney/Noonan-type Villagers are embarrassed by them but neither of them are going anywhere soon. It’s a match made in Hell.
Chinn Romney
We do need more of Uncle Mitt around these parts. Obviously he was making a rhetorical statement. The family knows damn well that if this was a list of beautiful people then Uncle Mitt’s hair would have been on it!
JK
@jrg: Agreed.
The top 3 reasons Sarah Palin was selected to be John McCain’s running mate were:
Sex Appeal, Sex Appeal, and Sex Appeal.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
Who can forget those buttons at the Republican convention that read “The Hottest Governor From The Coolest State”
I can understand the frustration of Romney and the other prospective Republican candidates for 2012. The MSM is infatuated with Palin based on her sex appeal among the knuckle dragging neanderthals within the Republican Party.
Among the knuckle draggers the things that carry the greatest resonance are sexual fantasies about Palin and the phrase “Drill Baby Drill”. Romney and the other Republicans wishing to be president have their work cut out for them if they hope to defeat Palin.
Just Some Fuckhead
Good for Mitt. I always said he was the only sane one left in the Republican party.
Col. Klink
Oh’ Mitt’s cute alright…almost as adorable as that precocious little treasure Britney Spears.
harlana pepper
Ann Coulter Free banner:
Oh no, you didn’t!!
Michael
Oh, granted. I’d tap it, but only if she promised not to say a word.
scav
poor old oven mitt. having to juggle hot potato(e)s without mentioning who put them in there in the first place.
iluvsummr
@sgwhiteinfla: Good point.
jrg
During or after?
r€nato
@D-Chance.:
I’m still waiting for Jonah Goldberg to admit that the stock market surge is evidence of the success of Obama’s economic policies. (as you all may surely recall, Doughy Pantload claimed that the DJIA dipping to 6800 was Wall Street’s verdict on Obamanomics.)
Good thing I decided not to hold my breath while waiting for that to happen.
r€nato
@Just Some Fuckhead:
talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations!
Zifnab
@JK:
See, I thought it was:
McCain refused to pick Romney, McCain couldn’t pick Lieberman, and PUMAs FTW!
Zifnab
@r€nato:
See, it’s funny, because you’d think the fact that the DJIA was hoovering at 6800 at all would tell you how much Wall Street’s verdict was worth.
“Hey Larry, what do you think of Obama?”
“I dislike him. I dislike him so much, I just lost $4.8 million in Lehman Brothers stock options. That is how much I dislike him.”
someguy
People who wear magical underpants probably shouldn’t throw stones.
He’s probably right to dismiss Palin as a lightweight though; I can’t think of any prominent Republicans who would pass a strenuous high school civics class, much less pass for a responsible elected leader in a free country.
The Moar You Know
@JK: What sex appeal? She’s had five kids. It’d be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
No thank you.
Yeah, I went there.
Bubblegum Tate
I wonder if Mitt will be forced to walk back his comments like he would be had he directed his fire at Limbaugh.
Brachiator
@Comrade Darkness:
A recent story in “The Economist” noted that some of the biggest tax havens are onshore, in Delaware, Nevada and Wyoming.
Team Obama is stumbling a bit here. Going after tax havens is a worthy goal, but trickier than they understand, and they need to use more carrot and less stick to encourage investors into using their money more productively.
Spot on! Somebody hit Mitt with an irony stick. He is just as pretty as Palin, but six times dumber, and a hell of a lot less appealing to the GOP base than the Alaska governor.
But dayum, it sure is fun watching the Republicans eat their own.
harlana pepper
@The Moar You Know: OMFG!! LMAO!!
Face
Where’s she been lately? Anyone know how/why she suddenly vanished off the face of the TV?
schrodinger's cat
I have no idea why men find Palin attractive, most women I know including myself don’t think she is all that great, I mean she is not bad looking, but seems like a real piece of work, remember her snarling speech at the Republican Convention.
Cassidy in Iraq
Seriously? Some of you think Palin is hot? No accounting for taste i guess….
JK
@Zifnab:
OK, let me put it to you this way. Palin’s top 3 selling points were Sex Appeal, Sex Appeal, and Sex Appeal.
@The Moar You Know:
Zifnab, The Moar You Know
Obviously, you’ve both heard Palin speak. When trying to speak, Palin becomes a train wreck or a human punchline.
The only thing that’s keeping Palin in play for 2012 is Sex Appeal.
I wish Palin could be relegated to the trash receptacle of history, but as long as the MSM operates on the premise that “Sex Sells”, Palin is guaranteed a seat at the table.
Cassidy in Iraq
@Face: Her job as a satirist is done?
Chinn Romney
It was that patriotic bikini and gun picture that led most of us to conclude that Palin could hold our guns too. But things went limp once we discovered that Photoshop was involved.
Michael
@schrodinger’s cat
Some men find joy in banging the crazy. While the act is fun, the aftermath is problematic – but sometimes worth the trip.
gizmo
TIME magazine needs a bit of help making these choices. They call Palin an “Influential Person,” and a few years back they named Powerline “Blog of the Year.”
Oy…..
Cassidy in Iraq
@Michael: Don’t mind the crazy as long as she’s hot. Taggin a Palin-esque woman is reserved for wingman night.
JK
@schrodinger’s cat:
@Cassidy in Iraq:
Do either of you recall the cut-away shots of the convention hall audience while Palin was delivering her VP acceptance speech?
That event must have set some kind of Guinness record for the most simultaneous erections in an arena, stadium, or auditorium.
Cols714
The worst was the Time blurb about her in the issue that was written by Ann freaking Coulter who claimed Palin was a net positive for the Republican ticket. I’m curious what a conservative would have to say to not be invited to write articles for national magazines.
eemom
I’m a woman, and dismissiveness of Palin does not offend me, because she herself plays the so-called “sex appeal” card for all it’s worth. I have no sympathy for any woman of any political stripe who exploits the fact that she is a woman and then whines about “sexism.”
That, and everything else about Palin, is what offends me.
Anyhoo, I’m totally looking forward to the face off between her and Mittie the Mannequin in ’12, from which I do expect great hilarity to ensue.
Tony J
Oh, come on. Like she hasn’t had it all tucked up and tweaked after every procedure. Gotta keep the First Dude happy, you betcha. Also.
Tsulagi
@Michael:
It always comes down to a cost/benefit analysis, and which of your two heads is doing the math.
asiangrrlMN
Eh, I agree with Mitts in this case, but he’s not one to talk, really. There is no there, there, if you get my drift. That said, we are back to Palin as a hottie thing. I just don’t get it. As I have said before, I get digging the crazy–however, I don’t get trucking with the stupid. I almost didn’t have sex with the most beautiful man I’ve ever met (person, really) because he started acting stupid. I wanted to say, “You’re getting laid. You won’t be if you don’t shut up.”
As for Rush being beautiful…I’m not touching THAT ONE with a hundred-foot pole.
Comrade Darkness
@Brachiator: Team Obama is stumbling a bit here. Going after tax havens is a worthy goal, but trickier than they understand, and they need to use more carrot and less stick to encourage investors into using their money more productively.
I was mostly tossing out a right wing talking point. But to address your comment . . . Getting to such nuanced policy ideas would be a luxury. First we need more of the basics like: everyone gets treated equally.
I’d be happier if Obama announced life time jail sentences for anyone involved in mortgage securities that later needed bailing out, because in reality they were noting more than Madoff under different letterhead, but I’ll take a move towards tax enforcement equality as a first step.
JK
I was surprised Time didn’t ask Rich Lowry to write the Palin profile considering this love letter he wrote after her VP debate
Brachiator
@JK:
The mainstream media didn’t “sell” Palin. They desperately tried to play catch-up.
As long as the GOP is shooting itself in the face, Cheney-style, it’s fine to mock them. But you should never under-estimate them.
Palin clearly was immensely appealing to a core of conservative women and to some moderate women as well. And although she clearly was not ready for national politics, there is a video clip of her kicking an opponent’s ass in an early Alaska gubernatorial debate, demonstrating a strong grasp of local issues. With a smile on her face.
Dan Quayle was an empty-headed pretty boy, but you didn’t hear much about “sex sells” when he was the VP choice. This kind of slur is still reserved for women.
By the way, the current issue of “Esquire,” has a piece on Todd Palin, who clearly has a “regular guy” appeal to some people.
TenguPhule
She’ll be 4 years older, with the wrinkles to match.
Bring out the Botox!
Stu
Don’t I recall some infatuated pundit gushing about Mitt’s shoulders being big enough to land a 747 on?
‘
Re Sarah Palin’s sex appeal: she has it, uses it, revels in it. I suspect there’s a serious man/woman imbalance in places like Prudhoe Bay, and that she played those boys just like your high-school tease played you for math homework.
‘
Don’t forget, she never did release her health history during the campaign. Dollars to donuts there’s a boob job in that file.
LD50
But it’s more than that now. She’s also become a savior figure for all the not-very-bright rednecks who are freaked out by our Liberal Negro president. A nice, homesy, folksy, not overeducated white person who gives them hope of reclaiming their cultural/ethnic dominance in this country, which they are completely convinced is theirs by birthright.
I mean, remember this, right?
LD50
As someone more witty than me observed, Lowry is the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him.
Krista
True, that. I’m not a big fan on the speculative comments about the size of her hoo-ha, due to her having so many kids, though. For all we know, some of the people reading this blog may have birthed 5 kids (or have wives who have birthed 5 kids). So overall, I’m not a fan of generalized insults towards women’s bodies. But as far as whether or not Palin is hot…well, she really did open up that door herself with all the winking and flirting. My two cents: she’s a well-kept, handsome woman, but her personality and intellect seriously detract from her attractiveness.
TenguPhule
I’m sorry, but Palin acting like a political hooker has nothing to do with her physical attractiveness, or lack there of.
Awesom0
I get digging the crazy—however, I don’t get trucking with the stupid. I almost didn’t have sex with the most beautiful man I’ve ever met (person, really) because he started acting stupid. I wanted to say, “You’re getting laid. You won’t be if you don’t shut up.”
This is because you’re not equipped with my gender’s extreme capacity to ignore idiocy when there’s a chance the source of said idiocy might be lying on your bed naked later on.
Some of the more desperate of our herd have been known to absorb idiocy for weeks – even months – on end, when they have even the faintest of chances.
r€nato
@LD50:
projecting through the screen is one thing.
what you project through the screen is another thing entirely!
r€nato
@The Moar You Know:
Seth MacFarlane called, he says you owe him a buck for using his joke ;-)
(Seth will be on Real Time with Bill Maher this coming Friday!)
asiangrrlMN
Palin is fast derailing herself.
Read the ‘flatsto understand just how unraveled she’s becoming. I have said many times that being nominated as McCain’s VP candidate is the worst thing that could have happened to her. It exposed how woefully ignorant she is as well as how ill-prepared she is to govern, well, anything, really. Her popular in her home state is plummeting, and she is doubling down on crazy.
I don’t think she holds much appeal to any women except for the ‘basers and the PUMAs. If anything, any woman should be insulted that this is being held up as an example of how women should act to be in politics.
jrg
All women, or just hot governors from cold states who wink so much it looks like a facial tic, and spend the RNC’s money like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”?
Comrade Darkness
@Brachiator: Dan Quayle was an empty-headed pretty boy, but you didn’t hear much about “sex sells” when he was the VP choice. This kind of slur is still reserved for women.
I don’t know about that. I remember when the pick was announced and how Bush was going to sweep California because Quayle was so pretty and Californians only vote for beautiful people. The really thought they had just capture every women in America by making them swoon. For example:
“A guy that good-looking just has to be attractive to women.” – Sen. John McCain
Now, were the republicans utterly tone deaf and short sighed? Yes. They put out a half hour ad for their campaign before the election that didn’t mention Quayle even once. But in the beginning they were all tingly and starbursty, or thought parts of the electorate would be. It was nauseating.
asiangrrlMN
@Awesom0: Yeah. That’s the part I don’t get. There was an argument a few threads back about whether it was hardwired or social conditioning. I think it’s the former. Granted, I can see the attraction to Palin, but I can’t, for the life of me, see anything remotely attractive about Michele Bachmann.
Tsulagi
You got that right. It’s not the size of your hoo-ha that counts, it’s how you use it.
LD50
Please. Years.
asiangrrlMN
@Comrade Darkness: I think Brachiator is right in that there still isn’t that, “I’d like to do him” kind of vibe with Quayle. There were no jokes about the size of his dick or anything like that. Yes, there were the pretty comments, but it was still in a way that denigrated women. “Oh, he’s so pretty, any woman will automatically vote for him.”
I think it’s not as cut and dried with Palin, however, because she so clearly played into the walking sex doll thing with all the winkin’ and flirtin’. In other words, it wasn’t just because she was a pretty woman (pretty according to conventional wisdom), but also because she exploited her looks.
Comrade Darkness
@asiangrrlMN: “Oh, he’s so pretty, any woman will automatically vote for him.”
Hmmm, that’s an interesting point. I remember thinking at the time (oh so long ago) that it was a strange tactic for the GOP to be selling looks, exclusively and thought of that as selling sex appeal. But, now that you mention it, you have to think women are vapid for the idea to fly. Hm, except why isn’t the opposite true? Men who get turned on by Palin, why don’t they get the attribution?
I agree with your second point. That’s a two-way street being trafficked there.
Brachiator
@Comrade Darkness:
Hmm. Single taxpayers are not treated as “equally” as married couples. Effective tax policy by definition has to be nuanced because the economy is big and complicated. But I take your point: tax havens offer an excessive advantage.
I agree with you in part, but still, making the mob happy does not restore financial markets, and that is where rightfully Obama is focusing.
I note that you wrote “almost.”
Well said.
asiangrrlMN
@Comrade Darkness: I think it’s because men in general believe that they are ruled by their heads (they are, just different ones) and women are ruled by their emotions. Therefore, even if Palin gives them starbursts, there must be other, logical reasons they like her. Or something like that.
@Brachiator: You caught that, did you? Fortunately, he had displayed intelligence before he started acting like an idiot. Plus, he was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. In my life! Even I will shave a few scruples for such an opportunity.
Bill Belichick
Sex does sell. I wouldn’t normally vote for someone as dumb as the Bush Boy, but I swooned when they paired him with Dick Cheney. It wasn’t the gravitas, it was that evil Mr Potter sneer that buckled my knees. I hear Lindsay Graham gets all moist just thinkin’ about it too. All those macho Right Wingers do. Jeff Sessions leaps to mind. You don’t get much more manly than Jeff Sessions.
HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Sure, but Mitt seems to be the perfect example of Beautiful Person. Besides his money and good looks, what does he bring to the table? Great intellect on policy?
I can’t figure how a guy with no ideas and a pretty face is complaining about “beautiful people.” What did he think got him his public career?
asiangrrlMN
@HitlerWorshippingPuppyKicker: Sexism. Like many men of his persuasion (entitled, privileged scion), he’s pulled himself up by his bootstraps, or something like that. People like Mitts usually believe that whatever they get is because of hard work and nothing else. Kinda like W. who has a similar lineage to Mitts, if not the face. Personally, I don’t find Romney attractive at all, but I’m weird that way.
Chinn Romney
@puppykicker: Uncle Mitt brought a lot to the table. His management skills for a start. If you just bought out a smaller company and wanted to gut it, pocketing the profits for yourself, and tossing the rest on the compost pile, then Uncle Mitt was your man.
He’s very flexible. Don’t let the spinmeisters turn this into a negative. Against Gay Marriage, Mitt’s your man. For it? Again, Mitt is your man. Who else offered this sort of flexibility on the right? That’s right, nobody. Mitt can demonstrate this amazing flexibility on absolutely any position, keeping a straight face at all times. Some would say this is pathological. Ignore them, they are jealous.
Mitt’s rugged good looks and unnaturally beautiful hair have been well discussed. So much so that the overexposure leads one to think this is another negative. Wrong. As soon as ‘Just For Men’ puts out the color grey, watch out, because Uncle Mitt will be back in the game!
Who needs entitities like the Boston Globe with rockin’ threads like this 24×365 on Balloon Juice? That’s right, nobody!
Brachiator
@asiangrrlMN:
Which is, of course, nonsense. A lot of women felt that they related to Palin as a woman and as a mother, and even related to some of her values. But in the end they rationally could not vote for her and moved on. Some men want to focus on Palin as a hottie or look for stupid reasons to dismiss her out of hand.
I understand. Completely.
This is another area in which the Republicans defeated themselves. Early in the primary season, they tried to attack John Edwards as a pampered, money-spending pretty boy who obviously could not honestly relate to the poor.
Later, after they had lost the general election, the McCain camp’s surrogates leaked information about Palin’s clothes spending.
But it was the GOP that had decided to pimp Palin and her entire family. And Palin didn’t just spend money on herself, but on outfitting her kids and Todd. And why shouldn’t she, since the Repubs were exploiting her and her family for photo ops?
By attempting to dump on Palin as some kind of low class Alaska hick who was doing a “Pretty Woman” turn, the GOP only strengthened Palin’s attractiveness with the GOP base. They also revealed themselves to be world class snobs since they had no problems with Trust Fund Baby Cindy McCain spending $300,000 on clothes and jewelry for her convention appearance, while dissing Palin.
You can’t buy this kind of tone-deaf stoopidity.
Thankovsky
I’m actually thinking this may not be a bad strategy on Mitt’s part, at this particular point in the pre-pre-pre-race. It seems to me that he’s unlikely to alienate either the Palinites or any independent women, simply because most of those demographics aren’t paying attention right now. The only audiences his comments will reach are political junkies like us, or (what I imagine to be) his intended audience: the Republican party machinery. If he can cradle-strangle Palin’s 2012 campaign in the minds of the “Old Boy’s Club” that runs the party and gain their support instead, he’ll have a much better chance at winning the nomination.
LD50
Legend has it that a huge amount of the votes Warren Harding got in 1920 were due to women finding him irresistible.
Thankovsky
@LD50:
According to another rumor, the women found him to be a little TOO irresistible – so much so that his wife poisoned him. Just a rumor, of course – but a fun one. :p
Molly McRae
Meow!
LOL.
Michael
I had a recollection. Remember those heady days of 2004-2005? Conservatism ascendant, doing battle with them evil goldurn libruls?
Anybody remember the fanfare that Conservatism had for the undoubted favorite spank comic of Eric Erickson?
The name was “Liberality for All”, and lemme tell ya – it was funny to me then, it is gut splitting hysterical now.
http://accstudios.com/f/synopsis1.htm
Liberality For All – 8 issue mini series – Color
Synopsis:
America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists.
In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sights on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices were forever silenced by terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L.
The efforts of F.O.I.L. threaten both the liberal extremist power structure and the U.N.’s grip on America, the U.N. calls F.O.I.L. the most dangerous group in the world. It seems the once theorized Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has now become a reality.
The F.O.I.L. Organization is forced underground by the “Coulter Laws” of 2007; these hate speech legislations have made right-wing talk shows, and conservative-slanted media, illegal. Our weakened government has willingly handed the reins of our once great country to the corrupt United Nations. The Department of Political-Correctness is required to assist U.N. monitors to properly edit all print and broadcast media. Live broadcasts are a thing of the past; all transmissions are monitored by the U.N. and any ‘offensive’ material is dumped.
Rupert Murdoch’s decision to defy the “Coulter Laws” hate speech legislations, has bankrupted News Corporation. George Soros has bought all of News Corps assets and changed its name to Liberty International Broadcasting. LIB’s networks have flourished and circle the globe with a series of satellites beaming liberal & U.N. propaganda worldwide.
The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.
Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. He is the son of a NYC firefighter whose life was spared by attending his son’s birth. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right.
Two decades of negotiation with the U.N., and America’s administration of 2021 (President Chelsea Clinton and Vice President Michael Moore), has culminated in a truce with fundamentalist Islamic terrorists, or so America is told. The honorable ambassador from Afghanistan has come to NYC to address the U.N., his name is Usama Bin Laden. Ambassador Bin Laden has announced that he plans a public apology for the “misunderstanding” of the events of 9/11. This apology will occur exactly 20 years to the minute the first plane hit the WTC; this will be on the observation deck at the newly renamed “Unity Tower” built on the hallowed grounds where the WTC once stood.
Tomorrow is September 11, 2021, the twentieth anniversary of the horror of 9/11, or as it has become more politically correct to say “the unfortunate events resulting from the uprising of middle-eastern fundamentalist Islam”. Just days before his arrival in NYC, Bin Laden made a brief visit to Iraq, now a nuclear power that is run by the vicious Uday Hussein. In Iraq, Bin Laden received a tactical nuke that is now contained in his private diplomatic briefcase. Bin Laden plans far more than an apology at the Unity Tower.
F.O.I.L. has become aware of Bin Laden’s plot to destroy NYC and has devised a plan to stop him while simultaneously gaining permanent control of LIB’s satellite network. Unfortunately, U.N. Forces have discovered the secret location of the F.O.I.L. Lair. It is a race against the clock to save NYC from a nuclear holocaust and the world from liberal domination. Only with F.O.I.L.’s help, can “Liberality For All” once again become “Liberty For All!”
JK
@Brachiator:
OK, it’s fair to say that other factors contributed to Palin’s popularity besides her physical appearance.
It’s also fair to say that Palin clearly exploited her good looks during the campaign.
Palin may have performed well in a gubernatorial debate, but I have serious reservations concerning her ability to think fast on her feet about national and international issues.
Palin is a featherweight politician who benefitted from a confluence of factors (good looks, rugged outdoorswoman persona) that struck a chord among the red meat base of the Republican Party.
asiangrrlMN
@Brachiator: Yeah, I think most women–outside of the base and the PUMAs, of course–just couldn’t vote for Palin in the end. I also think most of them wouldn’t have voted for Harding or Quayle just because they’re purty. In general, women are less ruled by their lust than are men. As evidence by the BJ threads on said subjects.
@Michael: Good lord. That is a combination of forceful projection and rampant fear. Besides, some of it sounded rather good to me.
Brachiator
@LD50:
Oddly enough, this seems to be the remnant of an attempt to slam women’s suffrage. The reality is more interesting and more prosaic:
It’s interesting that the myth persists that women were too stupid to deserve the vote. Didn’t Ann Coulter attempt to resurrect this old chestnut during the primary campaign?
Harding’s wife, business manager for the Marion Ohio Daily Star, actively guided Harding’s campaign and kept him media friendly. And the Harding campaign saw the rise of new media:
Thankovsky
@Michael:
Ahahaha, I remember this! If memory serves, one of the covers had an unseen assassin with a smoking gun standing over the murdered body of that great American martyr, Matt Drudge.
Also, all the cool punk rock kids were spraypainting pro-conservative graffiti like “AMERICA ROX!!!” on brick walls.
All in all, one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I’ve ever seen.
asiangrrlMN
@Brachiator: Stupid Coulter said that if women didn’t have the vote, we would never have another Democratic president. Bitch. If we didn’t have the right to vote, you wouldn’t have the right to spout the stupid shit you do. Double bitch.
Shawn in ShowMe
That’s because there was no full-blown intertubes then. Today’s Photoshop brigade would treat us with sexually-tinged depictions of Quayle on Bush’s lap, Quayle as Bush’s pool boy, etc.
Thankovsky
@asiangrrlMN:
I’ve always found that quote to be incredibly fascinating. The only way for it to make sense is if women voting is automatically a negative thing (which, from her perspective, it is). It’s like saying, “The only reason why Republican candidates win is because men vote.” Well duh! That’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Different demographics of society line up behind the candidate that they believe will best support their interests.
Now, like I said, we know for a fact that Coultergeist automatically sees women voting as a negative anyway – she’s said as much on multiple occasions. What’s perplexing to me, though, is that she still maintains a fairly large female audience, which makes me wonder – do these women simply not know about these comments, or are they just some bizarre group of self-hating women?
steve s
WOW. that comic Michael linked to….somebody please tell me that’s a spoof.
asiangrrlMN
@Thankovsky: I think it’s the internalized sexism thing going on. When the suffrage movement was going on, many women DID NOT think women should have the right to vote. They thought it best left to the men.
I would guess that many of Coulter’s female audience members are devoutly religious. These women (warning, gross speculation ahead) usually buy into the notion than women should be breeding machines and good wives. Period. So, of course, they shouldn’t vote–or else they should vote as their husbands dictate.
@Shawn in ShowMe: Thanks for that utterly distasteful visual. No, really. I may have to wash my brain out with lye now.
steve s, unfortunately no. It’s being touted as the first conservative comic. With good reason.
That One - Cain
@Cassidy in Iraq:
Doh! you in Iraq now?
cain
Persia
@jrg:
Now, now. Julia Roberts looked pretty decent after that pricey makeover.
LD50
And if White Southerners didn’t have the vote, we’d never have another Republican president. Big fucking deal.
Thankovsky
@asiangrrlMN:
I’m sad to say that this sounds pretty plausible to me; I know the type all too well. I’m fairly religious myself (liberal-Christian-Jim Wallis-type), and I have a few female friends who really fit the model you described: they’re fiercely committed to being baby-makers who stay in the kitchen. The weird part about it is that many of them are very smart and very well-educated. I think a lot of it is an angry reaction to what they perceive as increasingly libertine cultural trends in the U.S. and the Western World – sort of a “fuck you” to the sexual revolution and all that. That might just be the case with the conservative women I know, but it seems to make sense, at least from my perspective.
asiangrrlMN
@LD50: True. The galling part is that it’s Coulter saying it. It would be like Rick Perry saying Texans shouldn’t get a vote. Or something. Stupid bitch. She reminds me of Phyllis Schlafly–or however you spell her name. Women should be in the kitchen–except me. I’m different. <– That was Schlafly talking, not me.
asiangrrlMN
@Thankovsky: Yeah. I think you put your finger on it. It’s their way of rebelling, probably. I don’t have a problem with it if it’s really what they want. Unfortunately, it seems to me that many times, it’s a product of a misogynistic approach to religion.
Thankovsky
@asiangrrlMN:
Yeah, it would be one thing if they were content to practice that lifestyle in their own households and leave it at that. The problem is, it wouldn’t be enough of a “fuck you” to society if they didn’t try to impose their moralism upon everyone else.
Lesley
First thing Mitt’s said that I can applaud.
There can’t be too much of this kind of alienation.
binzinerator
@asiangrrlMN:
What have you got against 300 pounds of sweaty boorish belligerent flab? That, and a reeking hairy pus-filled pilonidal cyst festering in his asscrack?
Hah! You libs are not so open-minded after all!
Thankovsky
@binzinerator:
I’m sure he’s very beautiful by Hutt standards.
Anne Laurie
Oh, you Lie-berals with your “historicity” and “reality” and stuff… there you go again!
D-Chance.
@D-Chance.:
And, right on cue… Instaputz answers the call with the appropriate graph.