Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

This blog will pay for itself.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Nothing worth doing is easy.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Weird Stuff

Weird Stuff

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I honestly have no idea what is causing this, but my computer is now making odd noises for no reason whatsoever. Every now and then there is a piercing cat screech, sometimes there is someone hitting a single key on a piano and singing “meow,” etc.

And no, I am not losing my mind.

Reader Interactions

124Comments

  3. 3.

    Omnes Ominbus

    Did you open the case during your upgrade? If so, did you somehow bend time and space to fit Tunch inside? If so, let the cat out. I can’t explain the piano though.

  5. 5.

    jl

    Cole, if you allowed Tunch to get into MS operating systems and he takes his crankiness out on all of us, it on your head. Get that cat outta there now. Please.

  6. 6.

    Ash Can

    Check to make sure Tunch isn’t sitting on Lily and saying, “WHAT’S A CAT GOTTA DO TO GET FED IN THIS FUCKING DUMP??”

  9. 9.

    beltane

    Have you been drinking bong water again? Looks like those Minnesota cops really know what they’re talking about.

  15. 15.

    bago

    Mute your sound system. If it still happens then it means something spinning is breaking. Either a disk drive or a fan.

  22. 22.

    Laura W

    HEY EVERYBODY LOOK!!!

    Alfred, week 11 winner, stepped down! Rufus is unofficial winner of week 11?
    WTF?
    Ummmm….ummm…..
    What can this possibly mean for our GIRL?

    I need to go throw up now.
    Be back soon.

  23. 23.

    schrodinger's cat

    It sounds like Tunch is up to no good. Better give him whatever he wants. The great white one (with an orange tail) needs to be appeased.

  34. 34.

    Violet

    @Laura W:
    OMG! I just updated Rufus’s page to see his numbers and was shocked. I thought it meant that they’d declared this week’s winner early. That’s crazy.

    Any idea why Alfred stepped down? Did it have to do with the Mafia Wars and buying votes thing?

    Is Bitsy way ahead of any other dog at this point? I hope so! I hope there’s not a sleeper dog we don’t know about.

    Go Bitsy!

  36. 36.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Laura W:

    That Rufus has a scary look about him. That sort of says “fuck with me and lose a finger pilgrim ” I think he’s a republican doggie.

  37. 37.

    eco2geek

    Windows 7 has a “LOLcats” sound theme? Kewl.

    And no, I am not losing my mind.

    Can’t lose what you’ve already lost. :-P

  39. 39.

    Laura W

    @Violet:

    Any idea why Alfred stepped down? Did it have to do with the Mafia Wars and buying votes thing?

    Three little letters, Violet:

    B
    O
    B

    His friends are legion, and his power covert, yet mighty.
    It would be irresponsible not to speculate today.

  41. 41.

    annie

    @Ash Can:

    Bravo! A good laugh. I was thinking the same thing. Maybe Tunch is getting back at John for the “no food after 4:30pm” rule……..

    The question is do Lily and John also follow the same rule??????

  44. 44.

    Comrade Mary

    I think you need to switch your computer to raw food, John.

    (Seriously, mute the sound system, as suggested, to determine if actual physical things are stressing and breaking. Good damn thing you have that new external drive for backing up, right?)

  45. 45.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Laura W: My sources tell me there is some incriminating photos of Alfred coming out, literally. Apparently, he was photographed in a dog park trying to mount other male dogs. It’s a shame we live in a society where Alfred is penalized for loving the wrong kind of dogs.

  46. 46.

    General Winfield Stuck

    but my computer is now making odd noises for no reason whatsoever

    Mine did this when I installed a faster CPU. It was coming from the hard drive and I figured the faster speed was giving the HD something like growing pains. I panicked and put back the old CPU carelessly and kilt the motherboard and computer. Don’t know if a new OS could cause this though.

  50. 50.

    David R.

    Suddenly, everything just clisucks!

    Though this could be a small cooling fan that’s finally gotten enough dust to make it crap out, it could also be a failing hard drive. A lot of computers have a S.M.A.R.T. status disk check — it lets you know in advance if a hard drive is likely to fail).

    If you open the case (if this is a desktop), you might want to see if any internal lights go off — little L.E.D.s, etc. as you hear the sounds. If the lights are part of a sound card, graphics card — this might help pinpoint. I have no idea why one of those cards would make the sounds you describe, but….

    But whatever, you gotta assume the worst. Back up the files you want to hold on to — Ideally you want to use a mirroring program like Ghost, or DD. But at least copy your home folder to some other kind of media.

    Sorry to say this, but have you thought about a mac? I know I know this is somewhat tired. But I do sys admin and daily use Wintel, Mac, and various ‘Nix boxes. The macs are simply built better, to begin with, but also? in terms of driver compatibility, etc. there’s no comparison. I’m convinced Window’s is just too big to have much of a handle on quality control at this point. 2 cents. Good luck!

  51. 51.

    Violet

    @Laura W:
    LOL. Could it be that BOB is using his powers for good and not evil? It’s only right to speculate.

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    My sources tell me there is some incriminating photos of Alfred coming out, literally. Apparently, he was photographed in a dog park trying to mount other male dogs. It’s a shame we live in a society where Alfred is penalized for loving the wrong kind of dogs.

    Don’t ask, don’t bark.

  52. 52.

    Laura W

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Apparently, he was photographed in a dog park trying to mount other male dogs.

    I think he prolly just has a wide stance.
    Easy to mistake for mounting in small, male dogs.

  53. 53.

    Punchy

    Oddly, when I click on certain websites, my computer makes this funny noise as if there’s two people inside it having sex. Very enjoyably.

  54. 54.

    kdaug

    Yep, yep. Shut the speakers off. If it stops, check for some annoying new Windows sounds.

    But piano and someone singing “meow”??? Never heard a harddrive do that.

  59. 59.

    valdivia

    re bitsy or little g or whatever her name is now–does the new winner for week 11 make it more likely she will make it?

  60. 60.

    Demo Woman

    Window’s XP sometimes talks to me.. Normally it’s the same tone though. Windows 7 is an upgrade though so it might have additional tones.

  62. 62.

    Violet

    Laura W and Sylvia,

    I just read on the dog blog that some previous time they canceled the contest and started it over again. Do you guys know anything about that? It was from a commenter, so I don’t know if it’s true or not. That would stink after all our hard work for Bitsy.

  63. 63.

    General Winfield Stuck

    Talk about Omens. While on a walk earlier, I found a shiny new quarter alongside the road. Then a Roadrunner appeared on the other side and walked with me. When I stopped, he stopped. They are rare to see, and usually don’t like humans and run away. Beep Beep!

    I took it all as good and that HCR will pass with a solid PO. I won’t push it past that.

  66. 66.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Then a Roadrunner appeared on the other side and walked with me. When I stopped, he stopped.

    Did you look for any Acme rocket skate boxes or the like in the vicinity? An anvil could have fallen on you.

  67. 67.

    Genine

    I’ve heard such sounds before. It’s possible that your hard drive is working overtime. It’s not bad if you catch it in time. If it continues for a while, your computer will bite it.

    You might want to look into that.

  68. 68.

    RedKitten

    I can’t think of any other ideas that anybody hasn’t already mentioned, but yeah, I’d mute your sound first to see if the problem is mechanical or programming-related.

  71. 71.

    Laura W

    @Violet: After slogging my way thru the first 28 comments on that blog, knowing there will be 9876 more by midnight tonight because nothing says SEXY like controversy, back stabbing and voter fraud…I am going to leave that miasma for Sylvia to trudge through. Thus far I’ve managed to stay away. A dog owner scorned and all that.

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, because I really, really hate the phrase, but: “It is what it is”. Bitsy is the clear front runner now. Even if the other dogs that think they have a chance now somehow take all their peeps back and try to rally support, I doubt it can happen. I did not believe even Rufus could overtake the 250 vote lead Bitsy had on him a couple hours ago. To get 100 or more votes/hour is phenomenal, and that’s what Bitsy had done for the last 2-3 days.

    All we can do is keep voting, keep asking others to vote, refresh often, drink heavily, and pace the floors. (And try not to dry heave, Violet. It’s very kind of you to continue caring in your condition. You are a real trooper!)

  73. 73.

    linda

    Did you look for any Acme rocket skate boxes or the like in the vicinity? An anvil could have fallen on you.

    good one … i love that cartoon.

  78. 78.

    Comrade Mary

    When was the last time you vacuumed your computer, John? If you’re also hearing the fan quite loudly, it could be choked with dust and pet dander/hair.

    How to vacuum your computer

    1) Take off all your clothes. (Optional)

    2) Follow the instructions here.

  84. 84.

    inkadu

    By anti-vaccine logic, this is conclusive scientific evidence that Windows 7 destroys hard drives.

  88. 88.

    Martin

    How to vacuum your computer

    Vacuuming really doesn’t get it clean enough. Give it a pass through the dishwasher if you want all the dust bunnies out, and use hot water and heat dry as it’ll kill all the viruses.

  89. 89.

    Lavocat

    Dude, WTF? STOP hitting the bongwater already!

    Otherwise, I think you could make millions bottling your tap water and selling it at concerts!

    Rock on!

  91. 91.

    gbear

    @Lavocat:

    I wonder if those pilots who got overflew the Mpls/StPaul airport by a couple hundred miles were trying to get rid of their bongwater before they landed?

  92. 92.

    gbear

    @inkadu:

    It’s basically a Toyota Matrix minus some of the moonbuggy body design. It’s cheap and the Toy engine is proven if not exciting.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @gbear: Peter Egan of Road & Track says this:

    First, I traded in my Mini Cooper S on a Pontiac Vibe.

    Yes, my friends and relatives were flabbergasted and there was talk of commitment proceedings, but there was a method behind this madness. I wanted a small, fuel-efficient wagon for hauling car parts and towing my new lightweight aluminum motorcycle trailer. (The Vibe has a 1500-lb. towing capacity.) I also wanted a car that would haul four or five people in comfort, so we wouldn’t always have to take some other couple’s car to dinner or the movies. I found with the Mini that tall people were thrilled to ride in the back seat exactly once. And that’s how many times I was thrilled to drive them, with my knees firmly embedded in the dash.

    Long story, short, I traded in the Mini and came away with a new Vibe and $2000 in my pocket.

    FWIW

  96. 96.

    Ella in NM

    If it’s not a leftover CD in your drive freaking out, It’s probably your fan. I suggest you open up the case and check out the connections, dust it off inside, etc. Wiggle shit around. Shit, shake the whole thing a bit. Then close it back up and see what happens. If it still makes noise, you might have a hard drive issue. Which could also be fixed, but it would be above my pay grade.

    So, if I lived nearby, at that point I’d be sending my husband over to have a look for ya.

  98. 98.

    gbear

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I agree with Egan. It was a comfortable fit and it’s cavernous. The more I read about it the more I like it.

    Seems like most of the people who hate it are Mazda fans.
    “It’s no Mazda 3!!” I wish I could find a Mazda 6 wagon for sale within 500 miles.

  99. 99.

    Shell

    Are the sounds telling you to do something, John? Are they telling you to hurt someone?

    OT thought, but…..

    When someone hears voices, how come they never tell him to make a donation to his favorite charity or maybe bake a nice batch of cinnamon rolls?

  100. 100.

    canuckistani

    And no, I am not losing my mind.

    It is possible that your computer is failing and you are losing your mind.

  101. 101.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @gbear: My sister-in-law and her husband had one as a rental for a month when Microsoft moved them to Seattle. They liked t, but they are not car people.

  103. 103.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    Mash several cloves of garlic in a bowl, mix with 5 oz. holy water. Soak silver bullets in mixture for 10 minutes (5 if the walls have already started bleeding).

    Load gun. Fire gun into computer at point blank range.

  104. 104.

    Molly

    @kommrade reproductive vigor: “Mash several cloves of garlic in a bowl, mix with 5 oz. holy water. Soak silver bullets in mixture for 10 minutes (5 if the walls have already started bleeding).
    Load gun. Fire gun into computer at point blank range.”

    I am afraid I may truly love you guys. :) This is one of the funniest threads yet.

    John, add me to the chorus of “mute, listen, and back up your shit ASAP.” It’s either the fan or the hard drive, hopefully the former.

  106. 106.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    Well, just as with the Lost Tunch thread, I hope when this resolves itself, John updates us with the cause/solution. I hate it when there is no resolution to the plotline.

  109. 109.

    NutellaonToast

    It sounds like a fan to me. If you opened or mopved the computer around you could’ve shaken up some internal dust and got it stuck in a face somewhere.

    But you should mos def back up your files in case it is your HDD

  112. 112.

    Uriel

    You may have accidentally installed Microsoft Ouji board extension for tablet computers- a lot of people have been having problems due to unpatched bugs relating to October 31.

    Basically, it self activates and downloads the spirit of Linus Torvalds onto all your local drives. It turns out that, although Linus is still alive, his spirit is covered under the GNU GPL and is freely re-distrubutible to any machine so long as the human readable source code for his soul is also made available. Unfortunately, it’s compatibility with most Window’s OS is considered in its beta stages at best- Although, oddly enough many users report no problems under ME.

    You can tell if it’s installed by going to the All Programs>Acessories>System Tools>What The Hell Is This>Stuff That Looks Like It Might Be Useful But Is Completely Undocumented So I’m Not Sure>How Did This Get On My Machine> Christ, I Give Up>Nothing_to_Do_With_ Your_Problem.exe

    Unfortunately you can’t uninstall it because it’s fully integrated into the operating system.

    Hope that helps!

  115. 115.

    mclaren

    Windows 7.

    You were warned.

    As the problems multiply exponentially, the 82% of the population still running Windows XP will simply reply, “We told you and you didn’t listen…”

  116. 116.

    General Winfield Stuck

    @Uriel:

    You can tell if it’s installed by going to the All Programs>Acessories>System Tools>What The Hell Is This>Stuff That Looks Like It Might Be Useful But Is Completely Undocumented So I’m Not Sure>How Did This Get On My Machine> Christ, I Give Up>Nothing_to_Do_With_ Your_Problem.exe

    Gracias Amigo. You speak truth to power.

  118. 118.

    Hmmm

    @mclaren:

    You know it just gets so old watching people who have no idea what they’re talking about make comments like this. Vista works great, Win 7 works great. The vast majority of the problems with any new OS are going to be caused by drivers, just like the vast majority of problems with XP at launch were caused by drivers. (Convenient how everyone seems to forget how everyone swore up and down that XP was garbage when it first came out, said they’d stick to Win98/Win2k and so forth.) It’s not Microsoft’s fault if a company decides not to release updated drivers, but of course people are going to take every opportunity to prove that they’re capable of repeating what they hear by nodding sagely and saying “See, that’s Win 7 for ya!” and similar when situations like this come up.

    John Cole:

    Click the volume icon found in the tray next to the clock and whatnot. In the thing that pops up click Mixer. If any piece of software that’s running is making the sounds you’re hearing the mixer will represent this with a little moving green bar similar to a graphic EQ.

  120. 120.

    asiangrrlMN

    Oh mah gawd. Funniest thread in forever at least a day minutes!

    I was gonna suggest Tunchie, too, and then demand pics to make sure he’s all right. I’m going to do the latter, anyway, because it’s what I do.

    As for Little BITSY, ooooh, scaaaaandalous!

  122. 122.

    Comrade Darkness

    @linda: not if john snapshots the drive onto his new 1T external. He can recreate his current machine on his new one. The one he’ll be ordering tomorrow . . . er . . . from his macbook.

  123. 123.

    The Other Steve

    All I can say John is remember Rule #1… Cardio

    Oh yeah, and don’t go down into the basement.

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