• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Infrastructure week. at last.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

He really is that stupid.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Not Conservative Enough

Not Conservative Enough

by John Cole|  December 10, 20091:30 pm| 109 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Clown Shoes

FacebookTweetEmail

John Cornyn and Mitch McConnell, with their lifetime ratings with the ACU of 92 and 90, respectively, are about to get purged from the big tent party/ party of ideas:

DeMint, in an interview with the Christian Broadcast Network, also said that he is trying to recruit a new crop of GOP lawmakers to challenge the party establishment.

“The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,” he said. “I need some new Republicans.”

DeMint’s comments come as party leaders such as Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) chairman John Cornyn (R-Texas), and RNC chairman Michael Steele have come under fire from several conservative bloggers and conservative grassroots activists.

The teabaggers have their marching orders from Rush, so heads must roll. Rush is apparently pissy that McConnell has not completely blown up the Senate to stop any Democratic bills.

Related, you have to watch this Colbert Report segment with Phyllis Schlafley’s insane son, the founder of our beloved “conservapedia.”

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « E & P Closing
Next Post: Thoughtful, principled conservatives »

Reader Interactions

109Comments

  1. 1.

    Face

    December 10, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,” he said. “I need some new Republicans.”

    If voting “NO!” on every single piece of legislation offered, and promising a filibuster on top of that, is considered “going to the left”, just what the hell is Demint expecting?

    Of course, the more the GOP wants to splinter into other fringe groups, the better.

  2. 2.

    Dreggas

    December 10, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    WOLVERINES!!!

    i think that is the new FRIST!

  3. 3.

    jetan

    December 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    We all need some new Republicans.

  4. 4.

    cleek

    December 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    The teabaggers have their marching orders from Rush, so heads must roll. Rush is apparently pissy that McConnell has not completely blown up the Senate to stop any Democratic bills.

    The lefties have their marching orders from Kos, so heads must roll. Kos is apparently pissy that Obama has not completely blown up the Senate to pass all Democratic bills.

    /troll

  5. 5.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    PUUUUUUURGE ! ! !

    By the way, if these people are so damn conservative, why do they keep using words and stuff? If you really act from the gut, aren’t sounds and gestures enough?

  6. 6.

    Napoleon

    December 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    I DVD the Daily Show and Colbert, but when I run up against a guest like Schlafley I just can’t watch and fast forward through it. With as insane as the right has been acting in general I just can’t take watching any more then I need to.

    I would love to hear what insane things he said though.

  7. 7.

    Dork

    December 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    @Face: I can see the 2010 ballot now:

    A) Anita Treetahug (D)
    B) Clancy Douchebag (R)
    C) Elizabeth Hasselback (TEA)
    D) Billy Ray Stillery (NoMoN#ggers)
    E) Jenna Jameson (BOOB)

    A Republican disaster.

  8. 8.

    Pangloss

    December 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    They’re apparently looking for candidates with dynamite strapped to their chests.

  9. 9.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    December 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    @Pangloss:

    That’s funny and scarily believable at the same time.

  10. 10.

    Exit Stage Right

    December 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Well, all the Republicans thrown out of the tent can form their own party – Know Nothing Revivalists – works for me

  11. 11.

    dmsilev

    December 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Related, you have to watch this Colbert Report segment with Phyllis Schlafley’s insane son, the founder of our beloved “conservapedia.”

    Insane views aside, anyone with a laugh so annoying needs to be pummeled with overripe tomatoes.

    -dms

  12. 12.

    Martin

    December 10, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Steele I can see, because he’s too stupid to even read from the GOP playbook, but Cornyn? Cornyn has moved left?

    Yeah, I gotta agree with Pangloss here.

  13. 13.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    December 10, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    You know how it is. After you have wild Green Balloon sex with your colleagues a few times, working with them gets kind of awkward. DeMented just wants fresh meat.

    S-c-h-l-a-f-l-y. Also.

  14. 14.

    Joshua Norton

    December 10, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    “The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,”

    I don’t think “the left” means what they think it means.

    Really.

  15. 15.

    SpotWeld

    December 10, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    The GOP is seriously starting to factionalize.
    And the rather sad part is that the instigators of the split, the fringe voices of Beck, Limbagh, OReilly… don’t really care about the politics. They’re in it for the viewers.

    The GOP could melt down and vanish overnight and the FOX news voltron would still be out there fighting the good fight in the war on Christmas.

  16. 16.

    freelancer

    December 10, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Wow, Silver keeps predicting Dem losses for 2010, but at this rate, GOP candidates will be a smorgasboard of insane doppelgangers of David Duke, Randall Terry, Alex Jones, David Icke, and Tim McVeigh.

  17. 17.

    burnspbesq

    December 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Now we really are into the realm of the silly, if McConnell and Cornyn aren’t loony enough for them.

    Note: I refuse to refer to the Republican Party, or any constituency or group within the Republican Party, as “conservative,” because they aren’t. There is no conservative party in the United States. There is a centrist party with significant center-left elements, and there is a radical right party.

  18. 18.

    MattF

    December 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    We’re seeing the rise of serious “no enemies to my right” politics– it’s pretty a standard radical strategy. The catch, so far, has been that the various individuals nominated for Fearless Leader have all been pretty feeble. That could change– and if it does, we’ll be in for some interesting times.

  19. 19.

    Brick Oven Bill

    December 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Our Founding Fathers were very smart, and ethical. Thomas Jefferson said:

    ‘The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.’

    This is why suffrage at the Founding consisted of males engaged in the economy. It is estimated that one in four males, or 12.5% of the population, could vote. This is in contrast with ancient Athenian democracy, where the voting percentage was around 1.5%.

    The modern Left (Goldman Sachs), seeks to concentrate wealth and control by weakening and feminizing the electorate. As a majority of the electorate now does not pay significant taxes, they are no longer engaged in the economy, and the political system will fail, as they will vote themselves access to the Treasury. John Adams said:

    ‘Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.’

    This is by design and the Goldman guys think that they will be in charge after their engineered collapse of the currency. What Senator DeMint is doing is establishing the alternative to the Goldman autocracy. DeMint’s is the more ethical path, and his efforts should be celebrated.

    The other Republicans are simply chasing Representation without Taxation votes. History will not look well upon them.

  20. 20.

    Comrade Kevin

    December 10, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    The GOP are shrinking their “big tent” down to the point where they won’t be able to fit a sleeping bag into it.

    Edit: Why is it, whenever I see a comment by BOB, I hear calliope music in the background?

  21. 21.

    Colette

    December 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    “The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,” he said. “I need some new Republicans.”

    This is so nuts that it makes the choice of Palin for VP candidate look sane by comparison, and is, therefore, good news for John McCain.

  22. 22.

    soonergrunt

    December 10, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    @John Cole:
    You forgot to mention how this is all good news for Conservatives, and especially for John McCain.

    @freelancer:
    All of which could stand a decent chance of getting elected here in Oklahoma.

  23. 23.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    “The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,” he said. “I need some new Republicans.”

    this is one of those head/desk moments.

  24. 24.

    eemom

    December 10, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    I have always been of the view that we should undo the Civil War, give the wingnuts a few Southern states for their very own, build a wall and get on with our lives.

    I was thinking Texas, but at the rate they’re going half of South Carolina should give them all the space they need.

  25. 25.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    I have in my hands a list of 17 Communists at the head of the Republican Party…

  26. 26.

    Martin

    December 10, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Our Founding Fathers were very smart, and ethical. Thomas Jefferson said:

    Jefferson has a affair with a black slave of his with the knowing expectation that he’d have biracial offspring.

    BoB, of all people, thinks that’s both smart and ethical.

  27. 27.

    Comrade Jake

    December 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    You know that saying about it being better to have people inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in? It seems the Republicans are struggling with this concept, and in the meantime a lot of them are simply pissing their pants.

  28. 28.

    camchuck

    December 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Is DeMint angling for a run at minority leader? I feel like I’ve seen that speculation before.

  29. 29.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    @eemom: They can have a couple sections of coastal swamplands and maybe some Texas badlands — they don’t get the whole South.

  30. 30.

    phantomist

    December 10, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Hey Mr. Demint, when somebody walks 24,900 miles to your right, he’s not on your left.

  31. 31.

    Zifnab

    December 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    @Brick Oven Bill: Yes. We all agree that pie is delicious. But what does that have to do with the post at hand?

  32. 32.

    GeoX

    December 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    The Colbert interview sucked, unfortunately. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to show how insane Schlafly is: “Can you give some specific examples of the liberal bias in the King James Version?” That’s IT. Instead, we get a whole bunch of tiresomely self-indulgent stuff about why Stephen’s supporters weren’t allowed to add HIM to the Bible. It permitted Shlafly to seem more or less normal, aside from looking and sounding like some sort of robotic frog. A viewer previously unfamiliar with the man would have had NO idea how nuts he really is.

  33. 33.

    licensed to kill time

    December 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    I, for one, welcome our new Teabagger Party. Long may they steep in their anger and denial and negativity. Play on, crazy clown music! Watch the pieces of the Grand Old Party splinter and fall into oblivion, and Godspeed.

    As long as that 27% remains steady and doesn’t increase. We don’t need an Insane Clown Posse in charge of the asylum again.

  34. 34.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    @Comrade Jake: Hey, ya can’t make an omelet without grabbing a bunch of eggs off the grocery store shelf and throwing them down on the floor of the aisle and stomping all over them and then pulling down your pants and shitting on top of the eggy mess! Why don’t liberals like omelets?

  35. 35.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Andy Schlafly is an idiot. Also.

  36. 36.

    Micah

    December 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you so much for linking to that interview. Conservapedia is one of my very favorite sources of hilarity on the internet, and I could not possibly pass up a chance to watch the founder on Colbert (who was in top form). That made my day.

  37. 37.

    Pangloss

    December 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    The conservapedia definition of liberal begins “A liberal (also leftist) is someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, often for self-centered reasons.”

    Then there’s some business about socialism, abortion, same-sex marriage, blah blah blah, and a parody from one of those goofy e-mails that wingers love to send to each other.

    I’m calling parody.

  38. 38.

    Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    December 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Yes. Please. More of this.

  39. 39.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    @El Cid:

    I’m glad I wasn’t sipping a beverage when I read that. {golf clap}

  40. 40.

    Roger Moore

    December 10, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    @Comrade Kevin:

    The GOP are shrinking their “big tent” down to the point where they won’t be able to fit a sleeping bag into it.

    I just hope they keep shrinking the party until it’s small enough to drown in a bathtub.

  41. 41.

    soonergrunt

    December 10, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    @Comrade Kevin:
    See, I envision something quite different. BoB is either a chat-bot with a conservative personality overlay and a broken logic branching engine or (more likely) he’s sitting in a cabin in Montana with no power. He charges up his old college surplus laptop by connecting it to a stationary bycicle and connects via cellular modem. He’s got internet but no running water, typically eats canned dog food because it’s cheaper than tuna, and bathes, when he does actually bathe, in a bucket drawn from the same stream into which he voids himself. Heats with a wood stove, and has one light bulb running off a car battery, which he also charges with the stationary bike.
    In about a year’s time he will be arrested doing something supremely stupid involving explosives and will be compared by local law enforcement as “a deeply stupid version of Ted Kaczynski.”

  42. 42.

    Corey

    December 10, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    The country is doomed. Seriously.

  43. 43.

    Xanthippas

    December 10, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    John Cornyn and Mitch McConnell, with their lifetime ratings with the ACU of 92 and 90, respectively, are about to get purged from the big tent party/ party of ideas:

    God. Seriously? The same John Cornyn who sent me an email newsletter that says this?

    However, I was troubled by the President’s announcement that he will begin withdrawing our troops in July of 2011. I, like many Texans, question the logic behind announcing this timeline and oppose sending such mixed messages about U.S. intentions in Afghanistan. I strongly feel that sharing our playbook with our enemies in this way will only embolden them. I will continue to support our troops and encourage the President to measure success in Afghanistan using ground conditions, rather than a calendar.

    That’s not good enough for those teabaggers?

  44. 44.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    December 10, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    @El Cid:

    I’m willing to give em Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia and both Carolinas. Georgia, as Old South as it desperately tries to stay, won’t trend that way forever.

    We kinda leave Georgia and Florida surrounded but so be it. And as somebody here said a while back, we need to keep a couple of wingnutty states just like having the obnoxious uncle over for the holidays: you know he’s a batshit, insane bigoted wingnut but the comic relief is helpful from time to time.

    Sure, we give away some gas and oil rights. Fine. That should spur more development toward alternative energies so that those backward fucks try to peddle their oil elsewhere.

    Oh yeah, we also take away all our military facilities. Create your own armed forces from scratch assholes.

  45. 45.

    ruemara

    December 10, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    @GeoX:

    Hate to, but kinda got to agree on this point. Schlafly looked geeky but normal and he and his ilk are gobsmacking nutzos who shouldn’t be allowed near a spork.

    Now that no republicans are right enough and no Democrats are left enough, can we shut down news programs and pundits for ever?

  46. 46.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    Americans are damn tired of all the damn liberal Texan Cornyn soci_alists out there trying to make the whole nation into some sort of Lone Star Soci_alist Republic!

  47. 47.

    Zifnab

    December 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    I mean, whatever. DeMint wants to call driver’s seat on the GOP Fail Bus, I’m more than happy to pull up a seat and grab the popcorn.

    I don’t know what this is going to do to the party, though, to be honest. Are they actually going to duke it out, or is this just going to be shadow boxing for campaign contributions?

    All this heralds is that the ideological debate in this country is completely shot. Dishonesty is so rampant, misinformation so prevalent, and even basic terminology is misconstrued that having a discussion about government spending, taxation, foreign policy, or civil rights is simply impossible.

    I mean, you’ve got a bunch of Know-Nothings marching through the street screaming about taxes that have gone down since Jan ’09, and complaining that they’ve gone up. You have ranking politicians bullshitting about the simple language of legislation on a national stage, with mass media falling over itself to get a mic in their faces. Even the easiest fact-checking gets reduced to he-said she-said.

    The discourse is dead. Long live government by screaming mobs of idiots.

    At least Kos knows how to get in the game. Maybe a pack of mindless drones gnashing their teeth and whining about non-existent slights on the left is what will get the debate moving back from the right. Maybe? We can hope, I guess.

  48. 48.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage:

    I’m willing to give em Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia and both Carolinas.

    South Carolina and both Carolinas. You’re being awfully generous. ;)

  49. 49.

    El Cid

    December 10, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: How the f*** did these freaks come to deserve any of those areas? The majority of our nation’s African Americans live in the U.S. South. If anyone deserves to be handed those territories, I think the choice is pretty easy — send the disaffected white Southern rightards to the swampland of their choice.

  50. 50.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    I love how Schlafly compares conservapedia to the Olympics.

  51. 51.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    December 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    Well, NC could be a keeper. Actually, I wouldn’t mind carving up parts of states into something new.

    For example, they can have the southern half of Misery, aka Northern Arkansas. We can merge the rest of the state, ie, southern Iowa, into Iowa.

    Same could be applied to NC.

  52. 52.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    December 10, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    It just occurred to me that if we unload the Mountain State on the newly formed 21st Century Confederate States of ‘Murka, that the dear Mr Cole here would find himself a resident of said place.

    No problem. In every war, foot soldiers must be sacrificed.

    Or he could move next door to me. I’ve got property.

  53. 53.

    bemused

    December 10, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    R’s are an inch away from being the party of the living dead.

  54. 54.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: I’m not willing to give them any of the SE (too many beautiful areas in SC, NC, WV, etc.). They can have West Texas and Oklahoma.

  55. 55.

    Pangloss

    December 10, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, bye bye. We’ll allow re-patriation to America for two years. I’ll miss Miami, New Orleans, and Memphis, but it’s all for the best. Now they can drive around in their coal-powered Hummers and apply unregulated free market principles to everything— so we had better build a fence to contain the mess when it all comes crashing down.

  56. 56.

    RedKitten

    December 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    I’m willing to give em Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia and both Carolinas.

    Um…John is in West Virginia. You’d do that to him?

  57. 57.

    arguingwithsignposts

    December 10, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    @Pangloss:

    On second thought, I’m not willing to give them anything. They can GTFO. The nutbaggers can go Galt themselves on some deserted tropical island. They ain’t getting a piece of this country.

  58. 58.

    RSA

    December 10, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    I always get a kick out of looking at the most viewed pages on Conservapedia:

    Main Page 6,237,914
    Atheism 4,829,885
    Homosexuality 3,438,944
    Essay:Conservapedia’s Law 1,812,855
    Barack Hussein Obama 1,268,816
    Wikipedia 836,830
    Sarah Palin 724,840
    Adolf Hitler 691,130
    Liberal 633,756
    Examples of Bias in Wikipedia 613,997

    What a sad bunch of wankers.

  59. 59.

    Fulcanelli

    December 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    @Zifnab:

    All this heralds is that the ideological debate in this country is completely shot. Dishonesty is so rampant, misinformation so prevalent, and even basic terminology is misconstrued that having a discussion about government spending, taxation, foreign policy, or civil rights is simply impossible.

    Damn, I wish you weren’t absolutely spot on.

    I’m so disgusted, I got nuthin’ of my own to say.

  60. 60.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    December 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Thomas Jefferson said: ‘The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.’

    I’m willing to work, you asshole, but there aren’t any jobs in Michigan because 8 years of governance by idiots like you have destroyed our economy. So fuck off.

  61. 61.

    joes527

    December 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    @RSA: I’m sure I high percentage of Conservapedia’s page views are folks just dropping by to stare at the train wreck.

  62. 62.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    December 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    The modern Left (Goldman Sachs)

    Jesus christ.

  63. 63.

    Jager

    December 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    Give them Alaska, see what they can make of it without any Federal facilities or support. Let the fuckers bootstrap themselves up in the frozen north. They can elect Palin President, have a state religion. They can drain the oil, mine the gold and pretty much have it totally fucked up in a couple of generations. I’ll buy Jonah Goldberg a new parka before he leaves. And I’d implement the same restrictions on them as we have on Cuba and urge the Canadians to do the same!

  64. 64.

    Wile E. Quixote

    December 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    The wingers in South Carolina are already frothing mad about Lindsey Graham being too far to the left and that stupid fucking twat Palin recommended that SC voters run a primary challenger against Lindsey Graham in 2014 to help the boy get his mind right. If President Obama had any political smarts he’d be going out of his way to say as many nice things as he could about Graham, McConnell, Cornyn and Steele just to make the RepubliKKKan base even more riled up and pissed off at these guys than they currently are. Even better, spread rumors that Graham is secretly gay and angry about the way he’s being treated by the Republicans and is thinking of switching parties to the Democrats. Now that would be some “11 dimensional chess”.

  65. 65.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    December 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    I strongly feel that sharing our playbook with our enemies

    So if Mike Tomlin says before a game “I want my guys to play a full 60 minutes” he is sharing his playbook with the other team?

  66. 66.

    truculent and unreliable

    December 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    You guys know who else wasn’t conservative enough, right?

  67. 67.

    Notorious P.A.T.

    December 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    @RSA:

    Why “Barack Hussein Obama” but not “Sarah Louise Palin”? Hmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . . .

  68. 68.

    Wile E. Quixote

    December 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    Well, NC could be a keeper. Actually, I wouldn’t mind carving up parts of states into something new.
    For example, they can have the southern half of Misery, aka Northern Arkansas. We can merge the rest of the state, ie, southern Iowa, into Iowa.
    Same could be applied to NC.

    Can we give them Iowa too? I’m really tired of being fucked in the ass with stupid, expensive and environmentally destructive farm subsidies for dipshit corn farmers, being forced to buy ethanol and that useless piece of shit Chuck Grassley. And don’t even get me started on the Iowa caucuses.

  69. 69.

    Tea Bag Express

    December 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    “the movement is not tied to the Republican party.”

    How could he say that with a straight face? I almost forgot Southern + Republican = Strong Crazy

    http://thinkprogress.org/2009/12/10/demint-tea-party-gop/#comments

  70. 70.

    a different phil

    December 10, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Peak Wingnut just moved another day closer.

  71. 71.

    soonergrunt

    December 10, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Thomas Jefferson said: ‘The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.’

    Except that Jefferson didn’t say this or anything like it. The first time it ever appeared in print was 1986, long after Jefferson had turned to dust.

  72. 72.

    soonergrunt

    December 10, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    @Wile E. Quixote:

    Can we give them Iowa too? I’m really tired of being fucked in the ass with stupid, expensive and environmentally destructive farm subsidies for dipshit corn farmers, being forced to buy ethanol and that useless piece of shit Chuck Grassley. And don’t even get me started on the Iowa caucuses.

    Don’t hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel.

  73. 73.

    Tsulagi

    December 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    “The problem in the Republican Party is that the leadership has gone to the left,” he said. “I need some new Republicans.”

    Which of course would be defined as more word salad queens. More dumb asses waving their federal budgets or HCR plans with less pages and numbers than a comic. More dipshits getting off buying balls and salt on amazon. And of course more standup family values warriors sobbing Beckian style over the decay of the American family under assault from the gay agenda, that is when they’re not too busy hunting non-wife soulmates in foreign countries, turning married staff into paid personal hookers, or IMing underage male pages in between Bible study on C-street to find new safe words.

    Yeah, that’s what you need. More “conservatives” like that, not less. Winning strategery.

  74. 74.

    jacy

    December 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Driving the kidlets home from school yesterday, listening on NPR to interviews with Texas douchebaggers, er, teabaggers, and some woman is talking about how they’re going to wall off Texas and secede — so go ahead and fucking do it already! Seriously, these people are all talk.

    I eventually began incoherently ranting at the radio until Kid #4 said, “Mom, turn off the radio before you drive into a ditch and kill us all.”

    Needless to say Kid #5 had some colorful language to pass on to his father at the dinner table last night. 4-year-olds have no filters.

  75. 75.

    Ash Can

    December 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    @cleek: I thought the same thing when I read this, in the wake of all the purity trolling, wailing, and gnashing of teeth over the past couple of days. Nevertheless, if DeMint’s nonsense translates into actual results, with the GOP moving closer to the edge of the cliff farther to the right, that would be nothin’ but net.

  76. 76.

    Bad Horse's Filly

    December 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    @jetan: This.

  77. 77.

    Anne Laurie

    December 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    @Martin:

    Jefferson has a affair with a black slave of his with the knowing expectation that he’d have biracial offspring.

    Yeah, but he did it “for her own good”, and quoted the Bible in support of his theory. What could be more Christianistly Conservative(tm)?

  78. 78.

    Supt. Chalmers

    December 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    Anybody who knows anything about Florida knows the state would split in half somewhere around Orlando, with the top part joining the United Jesus States of No Abortion Jesus Jesus, and the bottom part joining whatever the sensible country would be called.

  79. 79.

    Whispers

    December 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    I love Schlafly’s understanding of Christianity. Like many wingnuts, the only aspect of Christianity he’s ever heard of is the parable of the talents. Apparently the central message of Christianity is that, if you start out poor, and stay poor – you’re going to hell!

  80. 80.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    December 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    Homosexuality 3,438,944

    They’re hoping for pictures and instructions.

  81. 81.

    IndieTarheel

    December 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage: NC? Frack THAT noise. If those assholes want to fight a Second Civil War, they’re damned well gonna have to actually FIGHT it. I’m not going to GIVE them a godsdamned thing.

  82. 82.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    December 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Around a year ago we started talking about how the GOP was going to have come apart, and put a new coalition together.

    Isn’t that basically what we are seeing here? Isn’t this process ongoing, and necessary? Doesn’t that part stay in electoral purgatory until it gets that together somehow and fashions a new vision of itself?

    Isn’t this, therefore, all just what we expected, and isn’t it just fine that it is going along apace?

    Go, GOP, go. Rebuild, retool. Become the party of Dobson and Limbaugh. Whatever, I don’t care. Being a Democrat is hard enough without having to worry about what the other guys are doing.

  83. 83.

    kommrade reproductive vigor

    December 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    And right on cue this plops into my in-box:

    Code Red Rally
    Senator Coburn, Senator DeMint, and Laura Ingraham Lead Massive Grassroots Rally

    WASHINGTON, D.C. – Notwithstanding the chilly temperatures and the fast approaching Christmas holiday, Patients First, A Project of Americans for Prosperity™, is co-sponsoring a grassroots rally on Capitol Hill to send a clear signal to the Senate that Americans do not want government-run health care.
    Scheduled on Bill of Rights Day, the Code Red Rally is sponsored by a growing list of organizations— including Concerned Women for America, 60 Plus, Let Freedom Ring, Independent Women’s Voice and Conservatives for Patients’ Rights—and will feature Senators Tom Coburn, M.D. (R-Okla.) and Jim DeMint (R-S.C.), as well as radio talk show host and author Laura Ingraham. Thousands of citizens from all over the country are expected to travel to the nation’s capital to assemble against the Democrats’ version of health care reform. Participants will be encouraged to dress in fire-engine red—not only to draw attention to the sense of urgency but in recognition of the holiday season.

    Patients First is counting down the days to the rally with its version of “The 12 Days of Christmas,” which enumerates many of the devastating components of the Senate health care bill.

    On the eighth day of Christmas, Harry Reid gave to me:
    a Medicare expansion we can’t afford,
    politics over patients,
    an individual mandate,
    $500 billion in tax increases,
    a slash in senior home health care,
    a “public option” only liberal Democrats want,
    a job-killing bill,
    and a $400 billion cut in Medicare.

    WHAT: Code Red Rally on Capitol Hill

    WHO:
    Dr. Tom Coburn, U.S. Senator from Oklahoma
    Sen. Jim DeMint, U.S. Senator from South Carolina
    Laura Ingraham, talk show host, author
    Rick Scott, President of Conservatives for Patients’ Rights*
    Tim Phillips, President of Americans for Prosperity

    WHEN:
    Tuesday, December 15, 2009 1:30pm

    WHERE: Upper Senate Park

    *Formerly CEO of HCA, which set the bar for ripping off government programs. Why are Sen. Cobag & Deminted palling around with crooks?

  84. 84.

    harlana pepper

    December 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    So do y’all really want to annex off SC since, paradoxically, we are giving you DeMint, the man who apparently plans to help lead republicans over the cliff? See, we’re not completely worthless here. Ignorant? yes. Useless? it depends on your point of view. :)

  85. 85.

    Noonan

    December 10, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    “I need some new Republicans.”

    WTF? Since when was this the DeMint Party? And since when was the leadership of McConnell anything but wingnut proof?

  86. 86.

    asiangrrlMN

    December 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    They can haz Michele Bachmann’s district in MN, too.

    Is Jim DeMint THE stupidest person in Congress? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    I don’t want the batshitcrazies to take over because I don’t want our politics to further dissolve. In addition, I have no faith that the people of this country will NOT vote for someone like, say, Ratface Pawlenty if they continue to feel, despite all evidence and facts to the contrary, that this country is going down the shitter.

    Gah!

  87. 87.

    anie

    December 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I deeply wish people like Schafly would stop calling themselves Christians. He hasn’t the smallest idea what that ancient faith teaches. He seems to have lost all of Jesus teaching about feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, helping the sick, visiting prisoners, etc. It makes me angry, since the teachings of Jesus expect Christians to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of others. He seems to be willing to sacrifice others for the betterment of his wallet. This deeply perverted form of religion will be the downfall of our society. It isn’t teh gays, its the stupid that will bring the end.

  88. 88.

    Elie

    December 10, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    I think that the Republicans and perhaps some of the leftie Democrats have PTSD. Extreme mood instability, paranoia, memory problems, difficulty concentrating, anger over perceived slights, reliving critical moments over and over…

    We ARE in a strange place — feels like a big Rehab unit. Many need to participate in therapy more and stop cheating on their treatment plans…

  89. 89.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    December 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Is Jim DeMint THE stupidest person in Congress?

    If not, he has often done a very convincing imitation of it.

  90. 90.

    Elie

    December 10, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    @AngusTheGodOfMeat:

    “Being a Democrat is hard enough without having to worry about what the other guys are doing.”

    I hear that.

  91. 91.

    IndieTarheel

    December 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    @Sen. Cornhole:

    I will continue to support our troops and encourage the President to measure success in Afghanistan using ground conditions, rather than a calendar.

    where ground conditions ∝ = (↑stock price of contractor companies) * (dead brown folk) but < bin laden capture OR bin laden kill

  92. 92.

    trollhattan

    December 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    @ Comrade Kevin #20

    Edit: Why is it, whenever I see a comment by BOB, I hear calliope music in the background?

    Because that’s the Muzak they play at Marie Callender’s.

  93. 93.

    Elie

    December 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    @Elie:

    Want to clarify…didnt mean that we on B-J should be in Rehab. Only that the world seems like it should be — at least to me…very hard times psychologically and socially

    Had the occasion to watch the 80’s hit movie, “Romancing the Stone” with Michael Douglas, etc the other night. How light the world seemed back then! Even the romantic comedy now is so loaded with darkness and cynicism that its hard to remember how optimistic we were back then — how naive about so many things..

    I don’t wish a return to naivete necessarily. But feeling good sometimes without guilt or a sense of how temporary the good feeling is, would be great…

    Psychologically the weather here is just horrid for my mood. Although today is clear, we typically have nightfall by 3:30 pm and when you add endless rain, well, besides moss I start to grow other things — like horns and sharp canines…

    Anyway, so much for my musings and I hope to make some down home quality from scratch Grandma’s egg nog this weekend with all the artery busting ingredients including generous amounts of Jim Beam and Rebel Yell whiskey…
    Wish that I could have all of you over for a toot…

  94. 94.

    Jay in Oregon

    December 10, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    @Comrade Kevin:

    Why is it, whenever I see a comment by BOB, I hear calliope music in the background?

    Personally, I hear “Yakity Sax”…

  95. 95.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Is Jim DeMint THE stupidest person in Congress?

    If yer talking about just the Senate, maybe. But if ya include house members, ya can’t give a Most Stupidest Award away without giving serious consideration to Jack Kingston of Georgia.

  96. 96.

    VladCat

    December 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I wish to keep Texas, at least the big cities in the central region. Texas is now ‘majority minority’ and the cities are getting bluer by the day. Make a another state with Austin, Dallas, Houston, and maybe San Antonio. The West and East can be go back to Mexico or Louisiana.

    I need a ‘keg-erator’ for some of these threads.

  97. 97.

    gwangung

    December 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    @Elie: Which is one factor in why Star Wars was such a big head–unapologetically feel good in many, many ways….

  98. 98.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    December 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    @Pangloss:

    Nope. Andy’s genuinely that nuts. He’s been that way for at least a couple of decades now, if not his whole life (given that he’s Phyllis’ son, I’d say it’s likely). It’s just that back in the old days his insanity was confined to Usenet, where it belonged.

  99. 99.

    Mike

    December 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    soonergrunt:

    A heartfelt snappy military salute for comment #41…

    The Benny Hill theme. Also.

  100. 100.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    December 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    You might want to check DeMint’s website. His is the kind of material that would come out against a traffic signal because it represents an attack on stop signs.

    “STOP! Dem Signal Plan — It Removes Needed, Proven Stop Signs”

  101. 101.

    Elie

    December 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    @gwangung:

    I hear you. Remember how much I would look forward to the new releases… I was just surprised at how marked the distinction was from then to the current emotional reality. Pretty stark..

    I was thinking maybe I should load up on a bunch of these old feel gooders. But then I thought that it might be harder to remember than to stay “frostbitten”

    This too shall pass…

  102. 102.

    ricky

    December 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I believe we should have Harry Reid in one corner, Mitch McConnell in the other. Then Jim Demint can wrestle Dennis Kucinich naked to the death in the middle of the ring. If Demint dies so does Reid. If Kucinich dies, so does McConnell. That is to give the fighters real incentive and to keep their base cheering throughout the match. The winner of the fight can enter the next New Hampshire primary with a 1% vote bonus. I don’t know how Demint will do, but it will put Dennis at about 2.5% if he can hold past support.

  103. 103.

    noncarborundum

    December 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    @soonergrunt: Well, to be fair, he apparently did say something like it. It’s not nearly as pithy and quotable, though:

    To take from one, because it is thought that his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare to others, who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, ‘the guarantee to every one of a free exercise of his industry, & the fruits acquired by it.'”

    (wiki.monticello.org quotes this from Lipscomb & Bergh, The Writings of Thomas Jefferson.)

  104. 104.

    soonergrunt

    December 10, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    @Mike: Hiya, Mike!
    >Returns salute<

  105. 105.

    grinninglibber

    December 10, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage:
    Include Oklahom too please.

  106. 106.

    Jennifer

    December 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    @VladCat:

    Make a another state with Austin, Dallas, Houston, and maybe San Antonio.

    Thank you. This Houstonian is feeling some love ’round this place…though I can name several places in Texas that none of us would miss if we just gave ’em back to Mexico, with our thanks and best wishes.

    And am I the only person that finds it absolutely &*^% ridiculous that the Senate Majority Leader is calling into a RADIO SHOW to justify his actions?

    Does the word “gravitas” mean nothing to the Republican party any more?

    Sigh.

  107. 107.

    gex

    December 10, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    The whole problem with the purity crusades of the late aughts for the Republicans is that is going to make a whole lot more Ben Nelson-like Democrats. Fuck.

  108. 108.

    Ella in NM

    December 10, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    “Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad!”

    “All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others”

    “Four Legs Good, Two Legs Better!”

    Don’t these dumb-asses read, even for opposition research?

  109. 109.

    licensed to kill time

    December 11, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    solo buscando para mi flecha de reply, nada mas

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • frosty on The Funniest Thing About All of This (Mar 31, 2023 @ 2:19am)
  • sab on The Funniest Thing About All of This (Mar 31, 2023 @ 2:12am)
  • Sebastian on The Funniest Thing About All of This (Mar 31, 2023 @ 2:10am)
  • Sebastian on The Funniest Thing About All of This (Mar 31, 2023 @ 2:01am)
  • NotMax on The Funniest Thing About All of This (Mar 31, 2023 @ 1:55am)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup coming up on April 4!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!