Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The lights are all blinking red.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

This fight is for everything.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

When we show up, we win.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Pelosi: “He either is stupid, or he thinks the rest of us are.” Why not both?

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

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Reader Interactions

76Comments

  2. 2.

    Corner Stone

    Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo Bitchez!
    A few things here:
    1. I dominate
    2. When making homemade roux it really helps to be ambidextrous like myself
    3. Basmati rice

  11. 11.

    Dreggas

    For my gumbo i add in the andouille but use a couple cans of crab meat along with shrimp and catfish

  12. 12.

    clonecone

    I love that he got in a Creature From Jekyll Island reference. That book is the teabagger bible.

  14. 14.

    Dreggas

    oh and i have the good fortune to live near a good spanish super market where i can get a seafood mix of shrimp, octopus, mussels, scallops, clams, fish and crab for about 3-4 bucks a pound, that makes for a hellacious gumbo or ciappino.

  17. 17.

    Royce

    Well, it sure is better to hope it’s a hoax than to think this is the kind of person that makes up the Republican “base.” WHEW, that’s a relief!

    Though I’ve noticed here in the Northeast (I’m a transplanted Texan) that most of my neighbors have no idea what kind of folks exist in the “flyover” hinterlands. It would be easy to convince them that the most insane beliefs of the “Rightwing” were all a funny joke.

    Except they aren’t, so I can’t laugh too hard at this.

  18. 18.

    South of I-10

    @Corner Stone: I’m making red beans for tonight – it’s the only thing Little South will eat with any consistency. We are having one of those fun days where it was 70 this morning and will be in the 30’s tonight. Who ever heard of tornadoes on Christmas Eve?!

  19. 19.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Dreggas:

    More of teh C-Span funny

    See, first we had the theological friendly fire incident, and now this lady taking down her tree is basically a deserter going AWOL from the War On Christmas. Throw her in the brig, I say.

  22. 22.

    Martin

    @Corner Stone:

    Good choice. I made my last double batch a month ago (about a gallon’s worth).

    I usually fry up about 4 chickens when I make it, using some of that for the gumbo and making fried chicken the meal with gumbo on the side. Make some biscuits and there’s enough material there for a goodly quantity of chicken gravy as well.

    Half the gumbo gets frozen and we’ll then run the leftover gumbo through a 2nd cook a night or two later with another batch of biscuits and the leftover gravy.

    I should break some of the frozen gumbo out for dinner tomorrow. Wife has a nasty cold and could use a sinus cleanout.

  23. 23.

    GregB

    Ah Brooks. He could brook one all white reference but not two.

    See, that makes him moderate!

    Hoofah.

    -G

  28. 28.

    Dreggas

    @Martin:

    I like to stew chicken for use in Jambalaya, basically make my own stock when simmering chicken and veggies then add the chicken to the jamabalaya later on using the stock as the liquid for the rice etc.

  30. 30.

    Shell

    Pizza tonight, cause most of the kitchen is taken up with last minute cookie baking. But tomorrow, duck with a cranberry and lemon glaze. (I always throw out that wretched orange sauce mix that comes with it.)

  34. 34.

    Corner Stone

    @Martin: Damn yo. Four chickens?
    We’re having Parker House rolls with it, which is about as much bread as my digestion can stand.
    As one of my 20 year best friends says, “Mmmm, it’s all about the grabey.”

    And, as it can not be said enough – I am killing this shiz.

  36. 36.

    South of I-10

    @jeffreyw: Is there anything you don’t cook? Mr. South is the real cook in the family. I have to have a recipe, he throws some stuff together and it is great! A woman in my office made Feijoada for everyone yesterday. I had never had it before and it was so delicious. Now I am hungry.

  37. 37.

    Corner Stone

    @jeffreyw: You, sir.
    I care naught about your politics, whatever they may or may not be.
    I am in love with your food.
    Leave your wife/GF/mistress and become my civil union partner.

  39. 39.

    demkat620

    The look on Bobo’s face is priceless.

    Merry Christmas everybody. And may 2010 be a whole lot better than 2009.

  40. 40.

    Dreggas

    @South of I-10:

    Good cooking always starts with a recipe, then over time you modify it to make it your own. If you know spices, know flavors and love food you can cook.

    Most things I end up making come out of my head or i used a recipe once.

  42. 42.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    I love the way you mench the Scrutator gang as if you weren’t one of them. Nice touch.

    Speaking of which, did I get voted off the island-farm, or is the old mailing list broken?

  44. 44.

    Martin

    @Corner Stone:

    Well, a gallon of gumbo will eat up the better of a chicken. A family of 4 will take out at least another, plus part of a 3rd. I usually debone and freeze the rest. I really like the flavor that fried chicken brings to certain dishes – particularly anything with a bit of heat like the gumbo. It adds a very nice distinctive flavor up against the andouille.

    Once you start frying, you might as well go for broke. It’s all setup/teardown/cleanup and cooking 4 chickens isn’t much more work than cooking one. Plus, I get enough gravy out of it to carry biscuits the duration of the gumbo.

  47. 47.

    Corner Stone

    @Martin:

    Well, a gallon of gumbo will eat up the better of a chicken.

    We all know what you mean but this is good.
    My gumbo’s on simmer BTW. And it is the balls. Straight balls.

  48. 48.

    Dreggas

    @Corner Stone:

    I am trying to re-learn my spanish as my father-in-law and mother-in-law are from Panama and El Salvador respectively. The fiance speaks english perfectly and her dad does but her mom is still more comfortable with spanish and they want to take me to their countries to meet the extended family sometime.

  51. 51.

    racrecir

    Some notes:

    The Creature from Jekyll Island
    From a reviewer in 2001: “While Griffin starts with this event, he quickly moves into the present day to detail several financial crises that resulted in a quick government intervention at the behest of the bankers from the Fed, who told all who would listen that if the government (read: taxpayers) didn’t bail out the banks that had made bad loans, it could cause the entire system to collapse. Massive loan defaults; bank runs, and a major economic depression would manifest this collapse. Griffin shows how time and time again the taxpayer is bilked so that bankers can make billions in profits off of these financial scares.”

    Jekyll Island Club – Wikipedia
    Jekyll Island was the location of a meeting in November 1910 that may have hastened the creation of the Federal Reserve. Following the Panic of 1907, banking reform became a major issue in the United States. Senator Nelson Aldrich, (R-RI) the chairman of the National Monetary Commission, went to Europe for almost two years to study that continent’s banking systems. Upon his return, he brought together many of the country’s leading financiers to Jekyll Island to discuss monetary policy and the banking system, an event which some say was the impetus for the creation of the Federal Reserve.

  52. 52.

    Corner Stone

    @Martin: Mmmm…motor oil…

    I stirred that shit for almost an hour at medium/medium high. If you believe nothing else I ever say here, trust me on this – it’s the balls.

  53. 53.

    AngusTheGodOfMeat

    @Seanly:

    I can’t tell spoof from legitimate anymore.

    Well, then, mission accomplished, because that was always the main benefit of good spoof. Being indistinguishable from the real lunatics.

    That’s the real beauty of spoof. A good spoof can do lunatic, but a lunatic can’t back away from his schtick and become distinguishable from the spoofer. He’s trapped.

    I wish I could spoof, but I really suck at it. I am too sarcastic by nature. However I have seen some really fine spoof, and you people who did it know who you are!

  54. 54.

    Corner Stone

    @Dreggas: I am semi-conversational myself. Both in small talk and business.
    It definitely comes in handy for what I do, and I work every week to get better.
    Good luck picking it back up.

  55. 55.

    racrecir

    @AngusTheGodOfMeat:

    This used to be fashionable to cite…

    Poe’s Law :

    “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

  58. 58.

    asiangrrlMN

    You all suck. Seriously. Gumbo and jambalaya, and no one invited me over? Eff you all!

    @Corner Stone: Stand in line, Corner Stone. If’n any of us are going to be this man’s civil union partner, it will be moi!

    @jeffreyw: I’m still miffed because you stinted on the cookies. Sniff.

  61. 61.

    Steve

    I think the guy refined his game a lot between episode #1 and episode #2. In this one, even though it was funny, it was too obvious from the get-go that it was a hoax. You can see when the host asks for the name of the club, he’s asking it as a test – why else would you interrupt the caller to ask them the name of their club? Brooks, though, was totally nonplussed.

  62. 62.

    Cat Lady

    @demkat620:

    This. Is there anyone who had a good 2009? Anyone? Bueller? Is it possible that Teh Crazee will get worse in 2010? I think everyone with the inclination towards crazy is either approaching or has gone around the bend this year, so now the rest of us can buck each other up, and try to keep the center holding. I mean, who could have predicted that Hamsher and LGF would have switched places on the crazy train, and I don’t mean hoocoodanode. I mean WTF?

  65. 65.

    K. Grant

    Slightly farther to the south – we slow roasted our pork picnic last night (10 hours at 215), and put together everything for tamales today – first batch out of the steamer were outstanding.

  68. 68.

    Martin

    @Seebach: I agree.

    Climate legislation, banking reform, soshulist negroid space alien president plus an election featuring at a minimum Michelle Bachmann and John King trying to explain why the economic recovery isn’t real or is bad for America.

    The whackadoodle will definitely be pegged at 11 for an extended time. I would put Jiffy Pop stock down as a strong buy.

  69. 69.

    Emma

    We are waiting for my cousin and his so to arrive so we can sit down to our traditional Cuban Christmas Eve dinner: roasted pork with my father’s special marinade, black beans, rice, yuca con mojo, and tomato & avocado salad. Some things are not so traditional. My sister actually makes good fruitcake, so that goes on the table with the turrones, and I made tomato & garlic bruschetta and lobster paste on melba toast for appetizers.

    Feliz Navidad!

  70. 70.

    hamletta

    I think it’s the Red State Update guy. The one with the beard. It sounds just like him.

    He’s certainly capable of Colbert-level improv.

  71. 71.

    Corner Stone

    @arguingwithsignposts: Shhhhh….you and I both know that God forgot about OK, and most of Kansas, but it’s still an easy drive. And I can make all the gumbo/etc. asiangrrl can care to sample.

  72. 72.

    cleek

    @Cat Lady:

    Is there anyone who had a good 2009?

    except for our rapidly-dwindling savings, i’ve had a pretty good one: i’ve been on (involuntary) vacation since July!

    a man can get a lot of nothing done in five months of Saturdays.

  73. 73.

    Schad

    Several months ago, I worked for the Department of Tourism information line for a Canadian province, and ended up speaking to a guy from Georgia who sounded exactly like that guy (though one old white guy with a Southern accent sounds pretty much like every other), who went on a very similar rant about Obama.

    So either the guy speaking to Brooks is a very convincing satirist, or the same friendly fella who told me that he wasn’t sure whether he and his family would be able to take a vacation ever again, what with Obama’s plan to imprison him for owning guns as a way to confiscate their life savings.

  74. 74.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I have a question for y’all: as someone who virtually never buys red meat, I am not all that familiar with prices. But I said I would provide the beef tenderloin for the family Xmas dinner of boeuf bourgignon and I went yesterday to a very fine neighbourhood butcher and ordered a 3-4 pound tenderloin at $11.99/pound. I figured anywhere total of $40-50 would be fine. Well I went to pick it up today and they had a 3.something tenderloin for me, all nicely trimmed, and wanted to charge me 85 fvcking dollars! Turns out the $11.99 is pre-trimmed price but otherwise it’s around $18.99/lb. So basically they were wanting me to pay for several pounds of discarded fat (bastards didn’t even offer it to me for suet for the birds). I really lost my temper and said I thought it was a huge rip; they hacked off an end to bring the weight down to about 3# but I still ended up paying close to 60 bucks when I had expected to spend $36-40 or thereabouts. Not a lot of choice in the matter other than having no entree at all tomorrow. For the record, I don’t trust supermarket meat, and I honestly don’t remember this problem, this policy, in previous years from this butcher. Am I completely overreacting? I grudgingly paid, took the meat, muttered “you too” when they wished me merry Christmas, and left the shop feeling like I’d been had.

    Apart from that, it hasn’t been a bad day. About to tackle the ritual of Christmas Eve gift-wrapping.

  75. 75.

    Luthe

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Up here in these parts (northern Fairfield County, CT), you can get untrimmed beef tenderloin for $7.99/lb. That’s the sale price, so it’s lower than normal, but Stew’s has it on sale fairly regularly.

    (For those unfamiliar, Stew Leonard’s is a dairy store/up-market grocery/animatronic paradise. The also give out enough free samples that one can make an entire meal of them.)

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