Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

In my day, never was longer.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

When the time comes to make an endorsement, the pain of NYT editors will be palpable as they reluctantly whisper “Biden.”

Democrats are back in array!

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

We still have time to mess this up!

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

A consequence of cucumbers

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Another Day in Paradise

Another Day in Paradise

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I seem to have lost my wallet this weekend. The last time I remember seeing it was Saturday morning at Petco, and I can not find the damned thing anywhere. I guess I wanted a new wallet anyway.

One of you all claims to have harvested this:

I almost want to call bullshit (like growing zucchini is a real accomplishment! What is next, pictures of mint and dandelions? j/k), because that picture is too nice. The only thing I appear to be harvesting right now is stray dogs.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  2. 2.

    David in NY

    Stray dogs not so bad. I could be harvesting woodchucks, who are harvesting my carrots, cucumbers, and perennials.

    Added: Oh, but I did rescue just about as many carrots as are in that picture! That’s the entire crop saved from Woody.

  4. 4.

    licensed to kill time

    Uh-oh, JC has harvest envy.

    In other news, Queen Twit does a bit of projection:

    RahmEmanuel=as shallow/narrowminded/political/irresponsible as they come,to falsely claim Barton’s BP comment is “GOP philosophy”Rahm,u lie
    12:14 PM Jun 20th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

    Heh heh, she said “u lie!”

  8. 8.

    gizmo

    I found your wallet, with credit cards inside. Now enroute to Vegas for a week of gambling and hookers….

  9. 9.

    David in NY

    Oh, and about that wallet. I thought I’d lost my debit card over the weekend and was thrilled to find it wedged in the seat of my car. Try there, or under or around there.

  10. 10.

    General Egali Tarian Stuck

    @David in NY:

    I thought Woodchucks chucked wood.

    And how much wood does a Woodchuck chuck?

    And from our tea bagger stranger than fiction campaign files.

    Former Rep. JD Hayworth is making a pretty strong run against Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) as a True Conservative, Tea Partying stop-all-the-government-spending insurgent. But it turns out that right after he got bounced from Congress back in 2006 he signed on as a celebrity endorser for one of those late-night You Too Can Get Free Money from the Government informercials.

    The hypocrisy police put a BOLO out on JD today. They won’t catch him though.

    Not to be outdone

    After a campaign appearance today, Rep. Mark Kirk (R-IL) “literally ran out the hotel door, rather than answer questions about a host of recent reports that he repeatedly has exaggerated his experience and credentials,” Crain’s Chicago Business reports.

    “With media in hot pursuit, he raced through a Hyatt kitchen and into the back set of a black SUV — I believe it was a Cadillac Escalade — which instantly pealed out.”

    Do you know what your wingnut is up to today?

    They can run, but can they hide?

  11. 11.

    David in NY

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck:

    which instantly pealed out

    But after it stopped ringing, didn’t the press ask a few questions?

    (Crain’s Business spelled it right, but Taegan Goddard screwed it up, looks like — and no edit by commenter.)

  12. 12.

    beltane

    We had to chase a raccoon away from the chicken coop last night. Every night it’s a different animal and our dog has yet to bark at any of them.

  13. 13.

    Warren Terra

    The only thing I appear to be harvesting right now is stray dogs.

    What do you plant to get stray dogs?

  14. 14.

    jl

    The carrots are suspiciously straight and well formed.
    Did Cole perform due diligence on the authenticity of that pic?
    Time for a blogger ethics conference, IMHO.

  16. 16.

    beltane

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: I don’t think this will hurt Hayworth’s chances in the Republican primary. After all, the GOP is made up exclusively of both the perpetrators and victims of get-rich-quick scams. The wingnuts will give Hayworth their votes and he’ll lift their wallets for them, a true win-win situation.

  17. 17.

    Elizabelle

    Harvesting stray dogs has a much greater multiplier effect.

    Vet bills, dog food, pet paraphernalia, Petco — which swallowed your wallet. A dog behaviorial specialist. Separate but equal facilities for Tunch.

    I don’t see similar economic activity from a zucchini, no matter how attractively photographed.

  19. 19.

    BombIranForChrist

    Here in the Pacific Northwest, our garden is a complete disaster.

    Today is the first day of summer (I think), and they say the high will be … 58.

    We are calling it “June-uary”, and we have basically written off all our veggies except the radishes and carrots. Also, this is our first attempt at our new house, and apparently our new house sits on some kind of ancient snail burial ground, because we get these massive snails about the size of a golf ball. Also slugs. King Kong slugs.

    Last year in June, it snowed, so I guess we’re lucky.

  21. 21.

    Adam Collyer

    Better stray dogs than mosquitos, John. I’m apparently harvesting them every time I open my apartment window and have a light on.

    My arms and feet have woken up on fire the past few nights. I thought the flies down at my parents’ old shore house were unstoppable, but these city mosquitos are evidently a whole different breed.

  24. 24.

    jl

    For those commenters who are fretting about the firebaggers, looks like the good news is that the other side will always out crazy and out fraticide us:

    Florida Fakers? GOP Cries Foul Over 20 Tea Party Candidates
    TPM
    Christina Bellantoni, June 21, 2010

    Fearing that even marginal voter preferences for tea party candidates could spell doom in November, Republicans now claim that the dozen or more Florida Tea Party candidates running for statehouse seats are part of some Sunshine State shenanigans.

    In the meantime, however, the tea partiers want the U.S. attorney to investigate claims that tea party candidates are being intimidated and threatened. The Democrats, meanwhile, swear they have nothing to do with the Tea Party candidates, even though at least 3 of them were once registered to vote as members of the Democratic Party.

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/06/florida-fakers-gop-cries-foul-as-20-tea-party-candidates-file-for-ballot.php?ref=fpa

  25. 25.

    ruemara

    I’m jealous of the carrots. I’ve planted dragon carrots and orange ball carrots 4x since April and had nothing come up. fuck you carrot.

  26. 26.

    BombIranForChrist

    Also, our cat recently died, and we have been thinking of getting a dog, but we’re having a bit of a moral quandary.

    Several of the shelters here won’t let adopt a dog unless you have a fence. We are kind of irritated by this but at the same time, we’re not entirely sure we disagree with the practice. I mean, surely a dog would prefer a yard than not, but I know for a fact that there are many, many dogs that appear to happily live in cities without fenced yards, so I am a bit conflicted. We do have a yard, just no fence. And it would cost, oh, about 10 grand to put up a fence.

    Can’t decide what to do. Can’t even decide if I should shake my fist in anger or not.

  27. 27.

    licensed to kill time

    @beltane:

    My SIL puts food out for raccoons on her back porch. She says that if she forgets, they come up to the sliding glass door and put their little hands on it and peer in.

  29. 29.

    Redshirt

    To quote my favorite Romulan, “It’s a FAAAAAKE!”

    Does the cognitive dissonance seem to have gone up several levels over the past few weeks? Have we all given up any shred of hope that there can be “peak wingnut”?

  30. 30.

    Pasquinade

    @BombIranForChrist

    My neighbors, who rent the house next door, have a fence on 3 sides, so they keep their 3 dogs chained outside 100% of the time. People like this are probably the reason why the shelter requires adopters to have a fence.

    I put up a fence to keep dogs (and menacing children) away from the stray/feral cats that come into my yard for food and safe respite.

  31. 31.

    slag

    The last time I remember seeing it was Saturday morning at Petco, and I can not find the damned thing anywhere.

    I assume you called Petco and asked about it?

  32. 32.

    David in NY

    @ruemara:

    Gotta keep carrot seeds moist. When they don’t germinate, it’s usually because they haven’t been. I always water mine well and cover with a light mulch of straw and water it good. (I’m not around all the time, so I can’t water every day or two, which would be better.) That works for me. I don’t think there should be another problem until the rabbits or woodchucks get them.

  33. 33.

    beltane

    @licensed to kill time: Yikes. We have four cats, a dog, and a couple dozen assorted poultry, the last thing I want to do is feed the wildlife; they can steal from the garden like God intended them to.

  34. 34.

    Jules

    Here in Arkansas we have been enjoying cherry tomatoes and today we’ll eat a couple of beefsteak ones with dinner.

  35. 35.

    jl

    @Redshirt:

    Now that I see the teabaggers are out in force defending a rogue big oil corporation and ecocidal maniac, BP, in the name of Freedom, I agree that ‘peak wingnut’ is unlikely to be true.

    There is a good fact based post on causes of BP oil spill at FDL. The poster is a marine conservation biologist, but what he says about the cause of the accident agrees with what I have read at expert oil drilling blogs that I found through posts at The Oil Drum blog:

    http://firedoglake.com/2010/06/21/the-largest-accidental-oil-spill-in-history-lessons-of-bps-deepwater-horizon-disaster-day-60/

    If the face of this kind of evidence, if the teabaggers are out defending BP, then there can be no peak wingnut. These sheeples will do whatever they are told, no matter how absurd, as long as you provide the appropriate astroturf approved buzzword of the day.

  37. 37.

    David in NY

    @licensed to kill time:

    if she forgets, [the raccoons] come up to the sliding glass door and put their little hands on it and peer in

    I know somebody who did this until he found the raccoons inside his kitchen opening the refrigerator door, and choosing their treats.

  38. 38.

    BombIranForChrist

    @Pasquinade:

    I bet you’re right. There are some dogs in our area that are basically on perma-chain in their yards. I see them daily on the walk.

    I can’t help wondering if there is some kind of middle ground, although I am not sure what that would be. I mean, the stricter the adoption agency’s policy, the longer it will take them to find a home for their dogs, which means they won’t have space for new dogs … sure, maybe the dogs you have taken under your care will be better off, assuming they find a home, but how many dogs are getting killed because there are no new spots because your agency requires fences?

  41. 41.

    Trevor B

    Damn you in warmer climates, it snowed on me yesterday as I went on a hike. My garden is so pitiful right now, just a little kale and tiny carrots. I will say my Hops are doing great this year

  43. 43.

    Max

    I have a mole in my front yard. A fucking mole that is tearing up the grass.

    Before moving to the PNW, I had never heard of moles (other than in compare to mountains). I looked them up on wiki and they are gross looking.

    Cost to have the Mole Man come out and trap the fucker is $200. He better kill it dead for that amount of scratch.

  44. 44.

    Taterstick

    Hell, that ain’t much of a veggie haul! We have eaten green beans until they are coming out our ears, and have still canned 30 quarts. Dinner tonight is squash, corn, cucumbers, tomatoes, zuchinni, okra (store bought, dammit) and peppers – after which we will be canning about 20 pints of blackberry jelly. Peach jelly is next.

    I love summer! (burp!)

  45. 45.

    licensed to kill time

    @beltane:

    I know, I kinda blanched when she told me that. She feeds deer, squirrels, birds and any other critter that wanders in, too. They don’t have any pets at the moment so she’s turned into St. Francis of the Critters.

    I have to say, the mental image of those little faces peering in with their tiny black hands up against the glass kills me, though.

    @ David in NY: Heh! I’ll have to tell her to watch out!

  47. 47.

    jl

    Mr. Cole said:

    “I almost want to call bullshit (like growing zucchini is a real accomplishment! What is next, pictures of mint and dandelions? j/k)”

    I think that statement in the post is provocation enough for us to ask, no to demand! to see a pic Cole’s zucchini. j/k or no j/k.

  49. 49.

    demimondian

    @Max: Buy one of those cutesy windmill decorations for the yard. Moles don’t like the vibration.

  50. 50.

    Interrobang

    I call shenanigans — nobody actually harvests zucchini of that size out of their own gardens; the bloody things go from golf pencils to baseball bats in the blink of an eye.

  53. 53.

    Randy P

    like growing zucchini is a real accomplishment

    I’ve heard all those jokes about how easy it is to raise zucchini. It hasn’t been my experience. For some reason I’m trying again this year, have about 4 plants going with a couple of good vegetables going already, but I expect pretty soon I’m going to check and find them rotting away, with squash borers munching away on the stalk.

    The problem is I hate chemicals and I never seem to have any success with organic remedies when I try them. Of course the real problem is that I’m a zero-maintenance gardener. I like to throw the seeds in the ground at the beginning of the season and eat whatever ends up actually maturing, with little time in the garden in between.

  54. 54.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Elizabelle:

    What did it? The word zucchini?

    Nope. The word speciaIist. Like sociaIist, it contains the word ciaIis, and you know how that annoys the mod squad.

  55. 55.

    psychobroad

    @Chat Noir: My grandmother made the best blackberry jam ever, with berries picked from her pasture. She would mix it with the peanut butter before making sandwiches for us. Somehow the 2 mixed together tasted better than putting it on the bread separately.

  56. 56.

    South of I-10

    @Trevor B: If it makes you feel better, it is 97 degrees here and my plants will be all wilted and sad by the time I get home.

  59. 59.

    Mnemosyne

    @licensed to kill time:

    Now I’m seeing them all lined up on the couch watching Animal Planet.

    Our cat Annie loves TV, especially Turner Classic Movies. One night, we were watching “Cats 101” on Animal Planet and she sat down on the ottoman, watched the whole show, and then got up when the credits started to roll and trotted away.

  62. 62.

    Max

    @demimondian: You are the second person to mention that to me.

    I’m getting one!

    I wonder if they make Buffalo Bills windspinners.

    @SiubhanDuinne – Funny you!

  66. 66.

    QuaintIrene

    like growing zucchini is a real accomplishment! What is next, p

    Hey, hey, hey! Don’t diss the harvest-ly challenged. There were years when I couldn’t get any decent zucchini crops. I finally had to resort to hand-pollinating the blossoms. And to this day I still can’t grow radishes. Yup, radishes. The seeds that come in every little kid’s ‘My First Garden” set.
    I don’t know. I guess every gardener has a black thumb for something.

  67. 67.

    licensed to kill time

    @Mnemosyne:

    What a handsome hunk! And he’s got himself all nicely tucked in. What is it about kittehs and boxes, they never met a box they didn’t want to get into, and they look so satisfied with themselves.

  68. 68.

    General Egali Tarian Stuck

    @Max: Long time no see, or read. Was thinking about were your went.:)

    If somebody put up an Actblue account, I would contribute to Taryyl Clark to beat the primordial ooze child Michelle Bachmann. Don’t know if she has a chance, but it would swell my heart to help her out.

    Me and Charlie just had some drama with a rather large pitbull. The pit bull wanted to get at Charlie, though I didn’t know whether for violent reasons. Of course, charlie was up for the challenge, but would have been but a snack for this bruiser. So I Tucked Charlie in and bent over to protect him. Then the lady owner of the PB showed up and was trying to pull her dog away. She finally did, but the scene was repeated a couple of times when the PB returned. I read the woman the riot act for not restraining such a dog. She apologized and promised to do so in the future. Too hot for shit like that.

  70. 70.

    Svensker

    @David in NY:

    Stray dogs not so bad. I could be harvesting woodchucks, who are harvesting my carrots, cucumbers, and perennials

    Stinkin’ woodies. We now have chicken wire fencing all around our veggie patch. Seems to be working, but I don’t know if the beans and squash will recover from their “mowing”. The lettuce and spinach is a lost cause until cooler weather comes back.

  71. 71.

    John Cole

    @Randy P: Maybe it is the climate here in WV. You plant zucchini and you better own a machete and stand vigilant or it will TAKE OVER YOUR WHOLE GARDEN OVERNIGHT. There will be zukes the size of bowling pins. If you sit quietly, you can watch them grow about three inches an hour.

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne

    @licensed to kill time:

    The last time he went to the vet, not only did the vet say (three times) that Keaton was the most beautiful cat he’d ever seen, we left him there for the day to get his teeth cleaned and he came home with lipstick on his forehead where the vet tech kissed him.

    This is why he’s also called Mr. Charm & Personality.

  74. 74.

    Max

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Hi!

    I hate pet owners like that. When I lived in Oakland, it used to piss me off when people would take their obviously NOT dog-friendly dogs off leash on the trails. I had to snatch 45lb Max the Wheaten up into my arms a couple of times.

  75. 75.

    debit

    @Max: I like everything about walking Chloe through the park by my house, except for the assholes who let their dogs off leash, then have the nerve to get offended when I chew them out because their dog was all over Chloe. Especially when she has aggression issues with large dogs to begin with.

    Today she did really well, though. There were two loud and obnoxious hound dog mixes that started baying when they saw her. She started to charge toward them, but we’d just been working on keeping her focus on me; it just took one “Leave it!” and then “Sit” and she was right back with me and we walked calmly the rest of the way home. Granted, they didn’t cross our path, but it’s still progress. She used to try to pull me after dogs when they were a block away. Baby steps.

  77. 77.

    JCT

    @licensed to kill time:

    Heh, when I was a kid our neighbors fed the raccoons like that. One day they left the basement door ajar and the visiting grandma heard noise downstairs– found a bunch of them “harvesting” all the food in the basement pantry (apparently looked like a scene from the movie “Gremlins”) — she screamed so loud they heard her several houses away.

    My dad was repairing an awning and almost fell off the ladder. We lived a few blocks from Roman Polanski’s house and this was just a few years after the murders– my dad’s first thought was that she had found a body or something…

  78. 78.

    ms badger

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Stuck, you had a better outcome than my daughter and her similarly sized not-Charlie. The pit pulled not-Charlie from her arms, biting the daughter(7 stitches and two really tribal scars) before passers-by got between her and the pit.

    Nothing like a conversation that starts “I’m ok and not-Charlie is ok, but we are both covered in blood.” Not a fan of poorly trained pits at the moment.

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