Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

So very ready.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

They don’t have outfits that big. nor codpieces that small.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

So many bastards, so little time.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

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60Comments

  13. 13.

    Amir_Khalid

    One night, when I was but a young lad of a reporter, one of my colleagues brought some homemade pizza to the editorial floor to share. It was so good I tried to sneak seconds, only to get chased away.

    A few minutes later someone else came along who hadn’t had any of the pizza, and my colleague invited him to try some. She pointed to me and said, “It’s so good, I had to beat him off.”

  14. 14.

    gregw

    Needed a cup of coffee to figure that out.

    BTW, how many times is the smiley face going to tell me he’s not kidding and that I am the 100,000th visitor?

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    Sometimes the mark of true artistry is knowing what to leave out… even when it’s just two little letters.

    The headline practices a little restraint, but one of the sentences in the article goes a little further.

    Thereafter McCain yelled at his emailer (“Your bias against Christianity informs your antagonism toward Christine O’Donnell”) until he was spent; in a later post, he offered more masturbation humor, and a prediction that the subject would blow up, so to speak, in the Democrats’ faces.

    Ah yes, you have to have a gift to pull this off.

  21. 21.

    eemom

    How about this from the New York Post (ugh):

    Liberal Media Goes On Attack Against GOP’s Boner

    (well, ok, they did have the “e” in there)

  23. 23.

    JGabriel

    gnomedad:

    Todd Henderson fail makes page one of the Chicago Tribune.

    B-b-but, Todd apologized. He even said he wouldn’t blog anymore, and blamed it on his wife and preemie baby. Twice!

    And now it shows up in the Chicago Tribune, which certainly won’t make his wife feel any better. If they split up now, it’ll all be the Trib’s fault! I expect Henderson to take up blogging again so he can tell us all about it.

    .

  24. 24.

    Ocotillo

    My in-laws leave town during summer and winter and my wife and I pick up their mail for them at their home. She pays the bills for them and forwards anything important or personal to their seasonal home.

    My question is this, the old man is a staunch rightwinger who gives money to some of the causes and thus is on every loon’s dead tree list that is out there. We just shred the stuff but is there something we could do to aggravate the senders?

  25. 25.

    El Tiburon

    Sometimes the mark of true artistry is knowing what to leave out…
    True.

    But sometimes Edroso don’t know Jack.Off topic, Pee Wee Herman has a huge Hand.Job, I doubt, would care much for Ms. O’Donnell.

    But I feel the political winds are Turning. Japanese music, again going off topic, has a weird Beat. Off topic for the last time, my car needs a good Buffing.The Banana was once used to prove God did not masturbate, and therein lies the Rub. One Out of two men masturbate and the other man is a liar.

    Hey, it’s Friday.

  26. 26.

    soonergrunt

    @eemom: I’m doing pretty well for someone who makes much less than a college professor married to a doctor, but we all have our crosses to bear.
    I’m studying for a certification test and putting some resumes out there. Money’s tight, what with being unemployed and only having my wife’s income to pay the mortgage, student loans, and health insurance deductibles after major surgery, but at least I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m going to have to let the maid or the gardener go. That would just be HELL.

  30. 30.

    Craig

    Bloody fucking Christ McMegan is a goddamned moron. I know this isn’t exactly news but it’s still worth pointing out, again, for the millionth time.

  31. 31.

    scav

    @WereBear (itouch): and we all thought the princess and the pea was a fairy tale, and here she is now, suing the mattress company for physical and emotional trauma like a good little law professor.

  32. 32.

    Brachiator

    @El Tiburon:

    One Out of two men masturbate and the other man is a liar.

    Classic Woody Allen on masturbation:

    Don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love

  35. 35.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @Brachiator:

    One of my favorite’s was from Garry Shandling. After slamming his hand under the lid of the washing machine he exclaimed, “Ow! There goes half my sex life.”

  36. 36.

    John PM

    Last week Colbert had a bit about O’Donnell and in order to avoid the lust part of masterbating, he married his right hand, only to discover that he also had a left hand. This lead to him telling his right hand that he had to work late.

    If, as O’Donnell claimed, adultery is lust and you cannot masterbate without lust, doesn’t this mean that only married people cannot masterbate? Single people, by definition, cannot commit adultery, and therefore can lust away all they want. And what if you masterbate only about your spouse? (C’mon, it can happen…) You are not lusting after someone else and so according to her definition it would be fine. I demand that someone ask her about non-married and spouse-only masterbation! The people want to know!

  41. 41.

    ajr22

    Who is the dumb editor at Salon that decided “hey lets psycho analyze why John Stewart is holding his rally. He is on our side, but that has never stopped us before.” “First article is John Stewart Shrill, second article John Stewarts great risk.”

  42. 42.

    catclub

    @Ocotillo:
    I think the usual thing is to mail back something very heavy
    and of negative value in the postage paid return envelope.

    Some have tried taping the envelope to a brick.

  49. 49.

    Redshift

    @Amir_Khalid: I was at an Ethiopian restaurant once with a bunch of friends, and was encouraging one friend to try (with care) a hot pepper in one of the dishes. He picked one up with the bread and had a bite, thought it was pretty good, and turned and offered it to his wife, who said:

    “I may have been dumb enough to marry you, but I’m not putting that thing in your hand in my mouth.”

    Talk about a conversation-stopper…

  50. 50.

    Skepticat

    @Ocotillo: As I believe that tampering with someone’s mail is a federal offense, you might not want to discuss this openly. (Though when I had the same problem my father’s mail ended up in some fairly inaccessible places.)

  51. 51.

    Death Panel Truck

    Since this is an open thread, I’m going to vent:

    It’s so fucking depressing being a Democrat. Every morning I read the news, and every morning I want to hang myself before 10 a.m. I’m thinking of putting a noose in the closet in advance, so as to more easily facilitate the process ;)

    I can no longer fight for a goddamn party that won’t fight for me and the people who need help far more than I do. It’s like the fucking assholes want to lose. If I didn’t hate Republicans as much as I do, I’d join ’em. At least they want to win, and when they do, they go all out to crush their enemies. I feel like crushing more than a few Democrats right about now. I actually hope Harry Reid loses. That wimp has got to go. I knew we were fucked when he told 60 Minutes upon assuming the position of majority leader that he didn’t consider Lyndon Johnson a good role model for the job. Reid apparently thought he’d get more done under the guise of Caspar Milquetoast.

  53. 53.

    Marc

    Looks like the chances for a vote on tax cuts aren’t completely dead.

    Now is the time to call Pelosi and Hoyer (and your congressman) and tell them to make it happen. And tell them to cut middle class taxes only, not the “compromise” that punts everything down the road another five years.

  54. 54.

    russell

    True story:

    There’s a grocery store near me called Your Market.

    For many years their slogan was “You just can’t beat Your Market meat!”.

    A generation of schoolboys remembers it fondly.

  56. 56.

    Johnny Gentle (famous crooner)

    @Amir_Khalid:
    Reminds me of a great line from Family Guy. Peter’s going to spend time with Meg teaching her how to be more attractive. He says, “When I’m done with you, you’ll be beating guys off with both hands.”

  57. 57.

    Jim Crozier

    For the folks who are wondering where the two missing letters should go, I believe this is the answer.

    Original Headline:
    “Rightbloggers Beat Off Charges of Lunacy in Christine O’Donnell’s Masturbation, Satanism Remarks”

    Likely Insertion of Missing Letters
    “Rightbloggers Beat Off Charges of Lunacy in Christine O’Donnell’s Masturbation to Satanism Remarks”

  60. 60.

    Kristine

    Interesting. My Twitter account feeds into my Facebook page, and one of the articles I linked the other day was flagged as “abusive.” It was a Think Progress article about Koch-backed groups in Wisconsin that helped kill a law “Designed To Prevent Voter Suppression Plot Hatched By Koch-Backed Groups.”

    Looks like I’ll have to link to it again…

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