(Mike Luckovich via GoComics.com)
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Srsly:
“From our first encounter,” writes Dick Cheney, “when I woke him up by stepping on him, Cyrano and I became close friends.” Cyrano is—sorry, was—a beloved family dog, a basset hound, accepted by the family when Cheney was working at President Richard Nixon’s Office of Economic Opportunity… “I think that Cyrano and I had an understanding.”
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The last time a retired vice president wrote a memoir, when Dan Quayle gifted the airport book-buyer with Standing Firm, the goal was to prove he was serious. That’s not Cheney’s problem. The purpose of Cheney’s memoir, In My Time, is to prove he is human.
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So the reader of In My Time gets a few stories about dogs. He gets snapshots of Cheney and his mentor, Donald Rumsfeld, having wacky adventures… These little stories are meant to humanize Cheney, which is necessary, because no one else is going to accept that mission…
You read it here first: Willard “Let me tell you a heartwarming story about strapping the family dog to the roof rack, and how it greatly reduces the annoying noise level from the kids in the back seat, too” Romney is going to solicit Mr. Cheney’s endorsement… big time.
R-Jud
I do love Mike Luckovich’s caricatures. The fat little puppet hands get me every time.
harlana
that I would kick his ass across the room if he didn’t let me step on him every morning.
schlemizel - was Alwhite
The fact that we allow this war criminal not just to remain free in this country but to appear in public and hawk a book is a sign of just how far America has sunk. Why would any nation listen to us when we preach human rights? We have no moral standing. Instead we stand shoulder to shoulder with the worst regimes who also were able to justify their crimes by pretending they were protecting their homeland and ensuring a better future.
And it is not just the Republicans that have put this stain on us, although they deserve a large portion, some Democrats helped and still do with their continued silence and refusal to acknowledge the crimes committed. But the lions share goes to the media who have no problem calling out torture when it is done by others yet pretend it is ‘enhanced interrogation’ when we do it.
dr. bloor
Cyrano didn’t like Dick, he was just thankful that he didn’t wake him by waterboarding him.
Omnes Omnibus
Cyrano. Great, that is now a name that I can never give a dog.
dr. bloor
@Omnes Omnibus:
The first time I skimmed through the excerpt, I thought that was Cheney’s nickname for Nixon.
Omnes Omnibus
@dr. bloor: That is hilarious.
cleek
OT: Obama fails again.
Omnes Omnibus
@cleek: Pre-compromised!
Mino
DeMarco is a tool. Don’t expect anything but a settlement. A nice small one.
arguingwithsignposts
@Omnes Omnibus: I guess Too Big To Fail doesn’t mean Too Big To Sue.
Omnes Omnibus
@arguingwithsignposts: Too little, too late. I say primary him.
Amir Khalid
How much fuss is the Dark Lord’s memoir really worth? Its author is well aware, and deeply resents, that even before he is dead public opinion has already begun regarding him with contempt. From the reviews I’ve read, it’s a defensive and petulant book that retails untruths and disingenuous arguments in Cheney’s defense. So there is no reason to read it, unless you like plumbing the depths of a vile man’s vileness. You might as well read the memoirs of Tom Marvolo Riddle.
Jay in Oregon
After all of the furor of Netflix raising its prices on the streaming portion of its business, it appears that Starz will be pulling its streaming content from Netflix by the end of February, removing a large part of Netflix’s streaming library.
I’m still trying to figure out how a small portion of Netflix’s revenues from streaming is less desirable than a larger portion of zero. I’m obviously not cut out to be a titan of industry…
TheMightyTrowel
That job in australia I got shortlisted for? They’ve offered it to me and I’m accepting.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
artem1s
WTF? running around Europe smashing naked statuary and riddling the Sistine nudes with bird shot?
Paul in KY
@Amir Khalid: Be more interesting. Would get to find out how he came up with the bright idea of storing half his horocruxes at Hogwarts.
Paul in KY
@TheMightyTrowel: Good on ya, mate!
The Republic of Stupidity
Good luck w/ that, Dick… I think it’s gonna take more than a few wacky stories about dogs to accomplish that… perhaps proving you do have a conscience after all, or even a non-mechanical pulse…
Meanwhile… since this is an open thread, I found this kinda funny…
Amir Khalid
@Paul in KY:
Well, slipping the diary into Ginny Weasley’s bag was Lucius Malfoy’s idea; it was Dumbledore that brought Marvolo Gaunt’s ring with the Resurrection stone back to the school; and Voldemort didn’t even know about Harry. But yeah, if I were Voldemort I would have kept the Horcruxes far away from any place connected with my history.
Palpatine — now there’s another baddie who might have written an interesting memoir.
Roger Moore
@Amir Khalid:
He appears to have written several books, but not a proper memoir yet.
Paul in KY
@Amir Khalid: He should have placed the horocruxes on the moon. I assume he would have had the power to do that.
I’d like a Yoda memoir where he explains how he worked, socialized, observed closely for a number of years, a freaking Sith Lord & never got his miticlorians to give him a heads up.
Kathleen
So Cheney admits in “Slime Kampf” what I’ve always suspected. He owes his “humanity” to the warm blood of cute puppies (or dogs).