Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

When we show up, we win.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

I would gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

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Late Night Open Thread

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A party broke out at my household and I am treading the thin line between really clever and arrested:

That should keep you busy until I make bail. BTW, in a moment of random candor, I’ll confess that for about a year and a half my will, should I tragically pass the surly bonds of earth to touch the grace of the flying spaghetti monster, required that my entire family listen to Mickey Avalon’s “My Dick.” I’ve since sobered up slightly changed it, but the idea was funny at the time. Yeah. I made that fucking decision sober.

Reader Interactions

39Comments

  2. 2.

    Dustin

    Am I the only one who sees posts like this and immediately checks twitter to see how much John reads like a screaming, slurring drunken frat boy?

  4. 4.

    YellowJournalism

    Dustin, you are not alone.

    And it is just one of the reasons why my Saturday nights are kind of pathetic.

  6. 6.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    I’ll confess that for about a year and a half my will, should I tragically pass the surly bonds of earth to touch the grace of the flying spaghetti monster, required that my entire family listen to Mickey Avalon’s “My Dick.”

    That reminds me, I really should get a will in place. Not that I have anything to leave to any heirs, but I want to make sure the epitaph I’ve created for my gravestone is chiseled upon it like the warning sign it is: No Dancing.

    .

  8. 8.

    suzanne

    So I took my kid to get a Halloween costume today (she’s seven), and the store had geisha costumes for girls, ages 4 to 12. What the fucking fuck? Like, WHAAAAAAT? Someone honestly thought that was a good idea?

    The baby took her first steps today.

  11. 11.

    burnspbesq

    Oregon and ASU are having themselves a fine little football game.

    For the record, Wales got screwed, but they didn’t do themselves any favors by missing two penalties and a conversion.

  19. 19.

    Lysana

    @MikeJ: To be fair, true geisha don’t have sex with the clients. But there’s a three-part problem. One is the perception that geisha are hookers. The second is cultural appropriation. The third is how regardless of whether they’re entertainers or hookers, they remain a role devoted to entertaining and serving men in a sexist society. Or at least, that’s how I see it.

  27. 27.

    The Dangerman

    Couldn’t you leave a copy of “My Dick” to someone in your will; pity the poor bastard that has to read the will.

    Course, if you got your thang done in plaster like Jimmi and Mick, well, it could cause some confusion, I suppose.

  28. 28.

    Anne Laurie

    @suzanne:

    So I took my kid to get a Halloween costume today (she’s seven), and the store had geisha costumes for girls, ages 4 to 12. What the fucking fuck? Like, WHAAAAAAT? Someone honestly thought that was a good idea?

    To be fair, the costume was probably intended to be Generic Japanese, because Japan was in the news when this year’s costumes were being pre-sold/manufactured. So, ‘cultural appropriation’, yes, but not necessarily Toddlers&Tiaras-level Kreepy Katz…

    Since your kid is presumably not dressing up as the Julia Roberts character from Pretty Woman, what did she end up choosing? (She’d make a good Hermione, but it’s probably too hot for wizard robes in your neighborhood… )

  29. 29.

    RossInDetroit

    Can’t sleep again, dammit. I need to beat this insomnia before I lose my mind. I crash for 2 hours, then I’m wide awake for 3 or 4.
    I’m very skeptical of the long term impact of isolated events, but hundreds of thousands of people protesting in multiple locations across Western Europe certainly looks significant. I’m almost tempted to see how the media handles this Sunday morning on TV.

    ETA: The NYT just put up a big picture look at the global protest situation:
    nytimes.com/2011/10/16/world/occupy-wall-street-protests-worldwide.html?hp

  31. 31.

    b-psycho

    I would’ve left it.

    Fuck y’all, I actually like that song! It’s the best thing Mickey Avalon ever did and ever will do, beeeyotch!!

  32. 32.

    suzanne

    @Anne Laurie:

    To be fair, the costume was probably intended to be Generic Japanese, because Japan was in the news when this year’s costumes were being pre-sold/manufactured. So, ‘cultural appropriation’, yes, but not necessarily Toddlers&Tiaras-level Kreepy Katz…

    Since your kid is presumably not dressing up as the Julia Roberts character from Pretty Woman, what did she end up choosing? (She’d make a good Hermione, but it’s probably too hot for wizard robes in your neighborhood… )

    Nope. The costume was actually labeled as “Geisha Princess”. The feminist in me had a cow. She ended up with an Empress costume.

    She was Hermione two years ago, actually. Last year, she was Leela from Futurama. She’s also been an Oompa Loompa and a chicken. The baby is going as a cow.

  33. 33.

    Turgidson

    @Hueso:

    Fuck yes, I adore Red Apple Falls. And his recent album “Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle” was on par with his better Smog output. Even his less-awesome output had its moments (ex. “Our Anniversary” on the otherwise-average Supper album).

    youtube.com/watch?v=ZjADDzf3hMM

  35. 35.

    jank_w

    All I got to say is go go go! You could use a couple more videos to post there. FWIW, Doug asked in a thread last weekend what might be a good weekly type thread, I want to throw in a suggestion for a weekly ‘tutorial thread’… how-to and diy and all that good shit.

  37. 37.

    Steeplejack

    Damn, I get off the Interwebs half an hour early and miss all the excitement.

    “Whipping Post”! That is all.

  38. 38.

    Throwin Stones

    Obviously late (normal) and noone will see this, but,
    I knew there was a reason I liked you, Cole. Great Music.
    Just back from friends, beach and disney in FLA, and felt like I was on that line once or twice.

  39. 39.

    Paul in KY

    @Lysana: Thanks for the link. I wanted to see them at Bonnaroo, but I couldn’t stay up that late (they went on at 0230).

    Hope to see them some other time.

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