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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Post of the Year

Post of the Year

by John Cole|  November 21, 20114:41 pm| 51 Comments

This post is in: Excellent Links

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Even though you know where he is going with it, the conclusion of this post had me laughing out loud.

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Next Post: Tiny Violins: The “Homeless Halloween Firm” is out of Business »

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    g

    November 21, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    That Sarah Palin video is a holiday classic. Just like “A Charlie Brown Christmas” – it’s a heartwarming way to celebrate the season.

  2. 2.

    TooManyJens

    November 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    I have officially run out of ways to say, “Wow, that person is bugfuck nuts.”

  3. 3.

    PaulW

    November 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    As God Is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Were Kosher – Mr. Carlson, WKRP

  4. 4.

    gogol's wife

    November 21, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    I can’t believe this Geller person is real, or that the New York Times Magazine did a profile of her.

  5. 5.

    gogol's wife

    November 21, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    @PaulW:

    Oh, the humanity! (or Odie Hugh Manatee)

  6. 6.

    JCT

    November 21, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I am howling — wow, I needed that after spending an entire morning arguing with my new employer who wanted me to “explain and have someone verify” a 2-month gap in my CV.

    That “gap” would be my summer vacation between college and medical school almost 30 years ago.

    I felt like re-enacting that Palin and the turkey scene….

    And Pam is one of those MOTs that make me want to convert. What a moron.

  7. 7.

    TooManyJens

    November 21, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    OT, but I thought people could use some good news: Awful Homelessness-Mocking Foreclosure Firm Closes

  8. 8.

    Yevgraf

    November 21, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    I loved this link in the comments for the sheer batshitz nuttery of it all.

    http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/brithers-attempt-to-remove-obama-from-new-hampshire-primary.php?ref=fpblg_beta

    The birther wars continue. Orly Taitz, birther queen of California, personally filed a complaint in New Hampshire on Saturday that challenged President Obama’s U.S. citizenship and argued for his removal from the state’s ballot, reports the Concord Monitor.

    ‘Tis a thing of beauty after you get to the meaty parts. Proud old ‘Murkins screaming “traitor”.

    Its the sort of stuff that has me longing for the opportunity to preside over a death panel.

  9. 9.

    Kathy in St. Louis

    November 21, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I am assuming the book she wrote last year about this ‘serious” matter was self-published. If not, I now know that some publisher will publish any crap that is submitted to them.

    I have a poor relative that suffers from delusions on many subjects. It’s hard to talk to him because it’s hard to follow all the conspiracies that are traveling through his head.

    He’s cabinet material next to this babe.

  10. 10.

    MattF

    November 21, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    I’m sorry, I can’t see the humor– Geller is just too disgusting.

  11. 11.

    Nutella

    November 21, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    @gogol’s wife:

    Unfortunately Geller is all too real and influential within her own vicious circle. Her anti-Islam ravings were read and quoted by the Christian terrorist who shot up the youth camp in Norway.

  12. 12.

    j low

    November 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    My fiancee is a non practicing muslim who does eat halal (except for booze of course). She will be thrilled to find out that all Turkeys are halal.

  13. 13.

    Hill Dweller

    November 21, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    Limbaugh claims the Neckcar fans booed the First Lady because she was “uppity”.

  14. 14.

    Culture of Truth

    November 21, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    Didn’t see that coming. Heh.

  15. 15.

    Brachiator

    November 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    I loved this droll comment.

    Oh wait. I checked the federal food safety website. All you have to do is cook the turkey to 165 degrees. Kills salmonella, campylobacter, listeria, sharia….

  16. 16.

    MattF

    November 21, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    @Hill Dweller: So, he went there, and we still have a year to go. Here’s the TPM link:

    2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/rush-limbaugh-michelle-obama-booed-at-nascar-event-over-uppityism-audio.php?ref=fpnewsfeed

  17. 17.

    dmsilev

    November 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    @Hill Dweller: Well, we all knew it was coming. Wonder whether any of our resident trolls will try to defend Limbaugh.

  18. 18.

    Maude

    November 21, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    A bit OT, Newtie is calling for private retirement accounts. Nice to hear a fresh idea.

  19. 19.

    MattF

    November 21, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    I guess the TSA is handing out ID shots of the ‘Turkey Terrorist’:

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/img/jaunte/2011/11/21/turkeybomber.jpg

  20. 20.

    Comrade Dread

    November 21, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    Oh crap. I eat Butterball lunch meat and Duncan donuts. So I’m like a Super Muslim now with super sharia powers like un-x-ray vision where every woman appears to me dressed in a burqa.

  21. 21.

    chopper

    November 21, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    i wonder what pammy thinks of the fact that most all of the packaged shit in every supermarket in the country has a hechsher on it, despite the fact that kosher-keeping jews make up like a quarter of a percent of the population? is it a conspiracy?

  22. 22.

    slag

    November 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    @g: I agree. But where would Charlie Brown’s special be without a happenin soundtrack? And I think we all know who Sarah Palin’s Vince Guaraldi is.

  23. 23.

    Dr. Squid

    November 21, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    @MattF: I got a “You don’t have permission to access this server” error.

    I’m guessing that Pammycakes doesn’t keep kosher. If she does her description of halal as bugfuck insane is even a) more hypocritical and 2) funnier.

  24. 24.

    MattF

    November 21, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    @Dr. Squid: Sorry. Works for me, though.

    Added:
    This is the original LGF post:

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39475_Pamela_Geller_and_the_Stealth_Jihad_Turkey_Conspiracy

  25. 25.

    different-church-lady

    November 21, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I will bet you any freakin’ thing Butterball does not have someone speak the name of Allah over every single damn turkey they slaughter.

  26. 26.

    Warren Terra

    November 21, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    Thing of it is, all Pam’s really saying is that poultry is killed by exsanguination. Which is not news.

    For the meat to be Halal the killing must be accompanied by a prayer, according to someone Tbogg blockquotes, and for it to be Kosher the facility must be inspected and perhaps the killings supervised by someone accredited to a rabbinical council.

    By the way, I rather doubt the part where the killing must be accompanied by a prayer spoken by the person doing the killing for the carcass to be Halal – firstly, because I really doubt that Butterball (which asserts all of its turkey meat is Halal) is requiring its bird-killers to say, or at least mouth, a prayer in Arabic; and secondly because I doubt that Islamic communities would smile upon nonbelievers aping their prayers without a profession of faith. I suspect that the actual situation for Halal is much like the situation for Kashering, i.e. that the process and the facility must be inspected and approved, and perhaps some degree of supervision occurs.

    Also note that Pam claims “much of the meat in Europe and the United States is being processed as halal”. This is almost certainly not the case, as the (standard) use of a bolt gun to kill cattle is iirc inconsistent with both Kashering and Halal procedures, and of course the large amount of pork produced in the country is not gonna be Kosher or Halal no matter how you kill the beast.

  27. 27.

    Martin

    November 21, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    I wonder if Pam knows that they don’t separate the non-vegan vegetables from the vegan vegetables? My 11 year, in-depth investigation has determined that the broccoli you buy at the grocery store for your non-vegan meal, is actually vegan broccoli. AND NOBODY REALIZES IT!

  28. 28.

    Montysano

    November 21, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Post of the Year

    Well, we can’t all be Tbogg.

  29. 29.

    Moonbatting Average

    November 21, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    @Comrade Dread:

    super sharia powers like un-x-ray vision where every woman appears to me dressed in a burqa

    I LOLed

  30. 30.

    Martin

    November 21, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    i wonder what pammy thinks of the fact that most all of the packaged shit in every supermarket in the country has a hechsher on it, despite the fact that kosher-keeping jews make up like a quarter of a percent of the population? is it a conspiracy?

    I blame Hebrew National for spamming me non-stop during the 70’s with their ‘we answer to a higher authority’ commercials.

    Yep, like every other fucking thing in this country, blame goes straight back to the hot dogs.

  31. 31.

    RareSanity

    November 21, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    @TooManyJens:

    I like the complete lack of recognition shown by the firm’s CEO, by telling the reporter:

    There is blood on your hands for this one, Joe… I will never, ever forgive you for this.

    In one sentence, he manages to transfer all responsibility for the firm’s demise to the reporter, and seems to think that the reporters feelings will somehow be hurt, by never being forgiven by him.

    It’s your fault Joe! Sure we’re insensitive bastards that celebrate, and mock, the misfortune of others. And sure we, many times, broke the law in the furtherance of our business. But, the reason this firm is shutting down is because of you reporting it! You’re not my friend anymore!

    These sons-of-bitches, actually think that they should be able to do whatever the fuck they want, as long as it’s profitable. And they are shocked, shocked I say, when they find out differently.

  32. 32.

    Cris (without an H)

    November 21, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    @different-church-lady: I will bet you any freakin’ thing Butterball does not have someone speak the name of Allah over every single damn turkey they slaughter.

    But since the phrase is “Bismillah allahu akbar,” I’d be okay if they just sang Bohemian Rhapsody while killing the turkeys.

  33. 33.

    scav

    November 21, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    Deck the plate with birds of halel
    al hamdu lillah, di-la de-la-la-la
    Don we now our gay Sharia,
    la la la, la la la, Al-la-lah!

  34. 34.

    Culture of Truth

    November 21, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    I will bet you any freakin’ thing Butterball does not have someone speak the name of Allah over every single damn turkey they slaughter.

    They’ve taught all the other turkeys to gobble it.

  35. 35.

    different-church-lady

    November 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    @Cris (without an H): How many slaughter house workers can you find with Freddy Mercury’s range?

  36. 36.

    Martin

    November 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    @RareSanity:

    There is blood on your hands for this one, Joe… I will never, ever forgive you for this.

    Maybe the reporter’s employer should have a Thanksgiving party where everyone comes dressed up as a homeless former mortgage foreclosure employee.

  37. 37.

    PurpleGirl

    November 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    @Warren Terra: A past controller at the non-profit I used to work for and I had a conversation one day about Halal food laws and Kosher food laws. (He had heard me explaining to a new staff member why the pizza for an office lunch was bought at a Kosher pizza shop.)

    According to him, before there was a sufficient number of Muslims on Long Island to sustain a Halal butcher, he and many other Muslims bought meat at Kosher butchers. They felt that was a better solution to the problem of how to get properly handled food. Halal and Kosher aren’t exactly the same but they are close enough. I wonder if Geller knows this. (Not that it would matter to her.)

  38. 38.

    Culture of Truth

    November 21, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    I always wondered by Butterball played Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” to their turkeys.

  39. 39.

    Steve

    November 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    @Warren Terra: You are a wise man. I found this definition of halal at the Butterball website:

    Halal – an Arabic word which means “lawful” or “allowed.” The opposite of halal is haram, which means “unlawful” or “prohibited”. Halal foods are foods that are permitted for consumption by Muslims under Islamic law. All foods are considered halal except the following, which are haram: swine/pork and its by-products; animals improperly slaughtered or dead before slaughtering; animals killed in the name of anyone other than Allah (God); alcohol and intoxicants; carnivorous animals, birds of prey and animals without external ears; blood and blood by-products; foods contaminated with any of the above products. Foods containing ingredients such as gelatin, enzymes, emulsifiers, etc. are questionable (mashbooh) because of the origin of these ingredients is not known.

    So it seems like Butterball has sort of written their own definition of halal, where you don’t need to say Allah’s name over every animal, you just need to avoid saying any other god’s name over them. Very clever, albeit doctrinally questionable. For every Cafeteria Catholic there’s a Slaughterhouse Sunni.

  40. 40.

    Sloegin

    November 21, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    Just make sure to waterboard your halal bird prior to cooking, preferably in a kosher salt brine.

  41. 41.

    different-church-lady

    November 21, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    @Steve: Not sure it’s custom to Butterball, seems to line up with what’s here: http://www.ifanca.org/ifaq/

    Seems like we’ve done more research in the last half hour than Geller has after writing a whole effin’ book.

  42. 42.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 21, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Thank Allah that the turkeys aren’t kosher.

    Oh, wait…

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    @Warren Terra:

    of course the large amount of pork produced in the country is not gonna be Kosher or Halal no matter how you kill the beast.

    Well, obviously the solution for Geller is to gorge on ham, bacon, and pork chops, so that she can avoid being brainwashed by halal prepared foods.

    I mean, it’s the sort of thing that Reinhard Heydrich would have done to avoid being brainwashed by kosher foods…

    Moronic bint.

  44. 44.

    Cat Lady

    November 21, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Aren’t the Lions and Cowboys the only teams that play on Thanksgiving?

  45. 45.

    Steve

    November 21, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    @Cat Lady: They added a 3rd game in the evening, a few years back. It’s only shown on some cable network so most people never watch it.

  46. 46.

    opie jeanne

    November 21, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    @Steve:

    “…..animals improperly slaughtered or dead before slaughtering…”

    I know what they really mean by this but my first thought was, “How do you slaughter a dead animal?”

  47. 47.

    DJ Poopypants

    November 21, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Thanks – I now have a million dollar idea –

    FREEDOM TURKEYS!

    Real Amuricans and Republicans will pay top dollar for certified sharia free turkeys – ones processed with “enhanced disposition techniques” – with a Tea-Party sticker on them (just like an organic label – that’s my 2nd million dollar idea!) I’m sure Congress will soon ensure all turkeys procured for their lunches must be FREEDOM TURKEYS.

    I’m also thinking a picture of a founding father on the package would be good. But is Ben Franklin too socialist-y?

    Right – I’m off to the patent office….

  48. 48.

    jafg

    November 21, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Cole inching closer to channeling Greenwald again.

  49. 49.

    Liberty60

    November 21, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    @DJ Poopypants:
    You sir, have an excellent career waiting for you in the Wingnut Grifteria.

    May I suggest that you create an Anti-Halal regimen in order to be certified Murkin:

    1. That the turkeys are shot dead, in Texas with a six-gun;

    2. That a Fox News personality preside over the slaughter while offering praise for Jeebus.

    3. That no hippies or gheys or other unclean infidels* be allowed to touch the birds.

    *You know who I’m talking about. C’mon, you know.

  50. 50.

    Suffern ACE

    November 21, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    @Liberty60: Heck, freedom turkeys will be so popular, no one will notice when you stuff pigeons in the package to save a buck.

  51. 51.

    daveX99

    November 21, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    OMG. I laughed, too. Super mega win!

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