Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’re not going back!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

He really is that stupid.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

A consequence of cucumbers

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Not all heroes wear capes.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

No Justins, No Peace

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

DeSantis transforms Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / ‘Tis the Season of Giving

Reader Interactions

144Comments

  2. 2.

    Genine

    Awww, how sweet! Ellie looks smaller than I thought she was. Tunch looks magnificent in all his fluffy glory.

  4. 4.

    Svensker

    @sfinny:

    Tunch looks like the big marshmallow that just ate the Christmas tree, but still quite a fetching fellow.

    The first goggie is very furry and raffish. Who is he/she?

    Lily looks like the sweet lady she is.

    Thanks, John Cole. I usually love Christmas, but this one is turning out to be one of those stressful overloaded ones I’ve only heard other people talking about before. Pet pics help.

  8. 8.

    sfinny

    @Svensker: Pet pics and deep breaths are good things. Hope everything works out smoothly for you. Of course that is easy for me to say. I’m taking the John Cole approach and staying home. Only one cat though.

  9. 9.

    Helen

    John, Dude – missed you in the prior thread where you’re doin’ nothing for Christmas. I am with you all the way, but I am obligated; mostly to my 98 year old great Aunt/Godmother, who also is the reason I am here. She sent my parents on a blind date 53 years ago.

    The good news is that my work closes for the holidays. I am off till January 4th. So from Dec 26th till January 4th I am getting my bathrobe/slippers freak on.

  11. 11.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    OMG, did Tunch eat a neighbor? I’ve seen smaller turkeys served for a family of nine.

    Cute pics Cole. Merry Watchamahoozit to you and yours.

  13. 13.

    CT Voter

    Looks like the beasties are pretty relaxed with all the new roomies. Nice.

    And sweet Lily…comfiest spot in the house, no doubt.

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    So, did Rosie share the President’s acquisition of a new chew toy? Is it orange like President Obama’s?

    Also, Lily is her lovely, huggable best, and I understand that Chris Christie is concerned about Tunch’s weight…

  17. 17.

    Luthe

    I love the hover-text on the Tunch picture. Though I doubt Tunch’s nature is quite as sweet and accommodating…

  20. 20.

    sfinny

    Just googled to find the original Lily picture and the difference is amazing. What a transformation.

    This has been one of the best boy finds dog stories in history.

    And the terrorist cupcake story just makes me want to check the eclairs I bought for tomorrow’s dinner. Could be grenades in there. :-)

  22. 22.

    LT

    You’re a homophobic OBot EmoProg bastard – but hellfire, you’ve got some spectacularly cute animal friends.

  24. 24.

    dance around in your bones

    “schmoo” is fucking huge, ol’ Tunch, the big bunch o’ lunch.

    Or whatever…love yer guys, rented, owned, whatever. Happy Christmas! Festivus for the rest of us! Pastafaria, Awlmighty Gawd!

  27. 27.

    dance around in your bones

    @Yutsano: Grazi, mil grazi….tashakor and etc. I am just….oh, hell-I’m fracking weird right now…so, thanks!

  28. 28.

    Bago

    That is a mess ‘o tunch. A jambalaya of tunch. A significant gravitational body of tunch. A pillow of tunch? A mass effect field of tunch. I’m sure a bunch of tunch has already been done. I mean it just rolls off the tongue like so much cat food.

    Ok. I’m done.

  30. 30.

    Dee Loralei

    Lily looks regal and so happy, Tunch is all God-like and Ellie is adorable, I’m glad your bro kept her.

    I’ve got like 15 folks coming for beef fondue dinner tomorrow night. I’m still doing the “busy backsun” thang, c.f., Winnie-the-Pooh. I’ve made 5 different cookies and 4 different marshmallows and 3 other candies, and I haven’t cleaned the house or wrapped presents!

    This is the first time in 25 years or so that some friends won’t be with us, they retired and moved to Florida. Their daughter still lives in town and is in her 4th year of Med. School and will be joining us as always. So we decided to open the house up to my sons friends. And we’re calling it the “Orphans Dinner.” And he invited 6 friends who don’t have family in town. And I’m kinda looking forward to it, the young adults bringing their perspective to our mild debauchery. But now, I have to worry about how much they drink.Ughhh. And I need to beg, borrow or steal another fondue pot!

    And I usually have a smallish get-to-gether (8,or so) for brunch on New Years Day, but my best friend’s sister was murdered on Jan 2, 2011 and I am including all 20+ of her extended family in the invite, because I know that week will be hellish on them, and I want them to face this anniversary on a full sated stomach.

    At least there is a week between my hosting events. Years ago we used to have High Tea on Christmas Eve for work collegues, host our annual Christmas Eve fondue dinner with friends, Christmas Dinner for family, Boxing Day Cocktails for the neighbors, NYE drinks and appetizers and desserts for the country club folks and then NYday brunch. I’ve now winnowed this down to two events in a one week period.

    Ughh, and now I just realized, if I wake up in 4&1/2 hours, I only have 12 hours to do all this stuff!

  32. 32.

    Mnemosyne

    It’s 11:00 pm and G only just turned off the teevee. We ain’t getting out of here at 6 am tomorrow.

  33. 33.

    Ian

    Cole you might be doing something wrong in your cat feeding habits.
    Though I hear Tunch can get into all of your kitchen cabinets.

  34. 34.

    asiangrrlMN

    TUUUUUUUUUUNCHIE! I just want to love him and squeeze him and love him and squeeze him and…you get the idea. Thank, Cole! Merry merry to you and yours!

    @Yutsano: Beat ya to it. Bleeeeeah! (Thanks, hon. Love ya).

  36. 36.

    suzanne

    @Bago:

    That is a mess ‘o tunch. A jambalaya of tunch. A significant gravitational body of tunch. A pillow of tunch? A mass effect field of tunch. I’m sure a bunch of tunch has already been done. I mean it just rolls off the tongue like so much cat food.

    A murder of Tunch. A rafter of Tunch. An exaltation of Tunch. An unkindness of Tunch. A ZIP code of Tunch. A fuckton of Tunch. A metric fuckton of Tunch.

    This is fun. And I adore that cat.

  37. 37.

    suzanne

    @Dee Loralei: You’re good people. My best to your friend and her family. I cannot imagine what they’re going through. Peace and white light and alla that to them all.

  40. 40.

    Ian

    O/T. I found this nugget at non other than NRO

    Efforts to amend the laws have inflamed radical Islamists. After Bhatti’s death, Farahnaz Ispahani, an aide to President Asif Ali Zardari, said of the recent bloodshed, “This is a concerted campaign to slaughter every liberal, progressive and humanist voice in Pakistan. The time has come for the federal government and provincial governments to speak out and to take a strong stand against these murderers to save the very essence of Pakistan.”

    Yeah. From non other than NRO!

  46. 46.

    Bago

    A vastness of tunch? A nefarious nebulosity of tunch. An unmanageable amorphous amount of tunch? A fantastically fitting feline furriness of tunch. A comparatively questionable quantity of cornfed cat?

    Dangerously close to fracturing my alliteration bone.

  48. 48.

    MikeJ

    @Amir Khalid:

    I seem to have suddenly lost the left audio channel on my laptop. What can I do?

    Hardware problem or software? If you plug headphones in and they work ok you may have a blown speaker, loose wire, etc.

    If the channel is still out with headphones, make sure balance is set properly. Bring up the property page for the speakers (Win 7: click on the speaker icon on the toolbar, a volume slider should come up. Above the slider will be another speaker icon. Click on that.) The levels tab should have a button labeled “balance”. Click that, make sure volume is turned up on the appropriate channel.

  49. 49.

    CarolDuhart2

    Is Christmas Eve too late to put up Christmas lights in the window? I usually have them up now, but I have 12ft windows, and in years before contented myself with two trees. But I threw one away this summer, and now I have extra lights.

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Fell asleep last night before you posted these, but they’re just as wonderful in the morning. Thank you, John.

    Does Lily always gaze at you so adoringly? No wonder you’re besotted. Who could resist that?

  51. 51.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @CarolDuhart2:

    Never too late. If you don’t have to shop or cook or wrap gifts or travel or stress out, I think you should absolutely put up the extra lights.

  53. 53.

    JPL

    John, Thanks for the pictures. Unlike other commenters I don’t think Tunch is that large, it’s just that his head is small. Lily is the best dog evah and Ellie is so adorable!

  54. 54.

    Raven

    And good morning from the shadow of Falwell University. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is playing right up the street and I hope all the students and faculty go see it!

  56. 56.

    JPL

    @Raven: Who’s on the ballot?
    Romney of course but the other candidates will probably be out of the race before VA votes.
    Hopefully, Ron Paul and Trump team up and run as independents. Not to insult the pot smokers but a third party running to legalize pot and racism would insure an Obama victory. Sullivan and Bozell would use their forum to have them gain votes.

  57. 57.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Raven:

    I know! Is it wrong of me to be gleeful?

    Especially Gingrich, whose failure to get enough signatures just perfectly combines arrogance and incompetence.

  66. 66.

    dance around in your bones

    @Raven:

    El Gato GRANDE!

    I’m sorry, pero El Gato GORDO es mas adecuado!
    (Not that there’s anything WRONG with that, hahahahaha ;)

    Tunch looks fat and sassy.

  67. 67.

    Skepticat

    Heathen’s greetings.

    I’m limited to one cat (plus the feral one, who shows up for food and to hang out on the deck), but we’re here in the Bahamas with beach, books, and booze with no obligations, no effort.

  68. 68.

    Josie

    Thanks, John. They are all beautiful and happy. It does my heart good to see animals in such a good situation. You can feel very proud of your little flock (and extended flock, too).

  69. 69.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @jeffreyw:

    Coffee with a bonus nose-kissing kitteh! Life doesn’t get much better than that.

    Thanks, jeffreyw, and a wonderful Christmas to you and Mrs J and the menagerie.

  70. 70.

    dr. bloor

    If Bill O’Reilly really needs to be told why the tide goes in and the tide goes out, he need look no further than Tunch’s ass.

    But he’s just big-boned, that’s all.

  71. 71.

    Brachiator

    @Raven:

    So Gingrich and Perry both failed to qualify for the Virginia primary!

    I consider this to be an early Xmas present.

  73. 73.

    dance around in your bones

    @Skepticat: Bless you, Skepticat with yer Bahamas, beach, books, booze and no obligations! AND taking care of feral cat….I hope you know we iz all green with envy ;)

    Happy Festivus! ENJOY! (I really mean that :)

  74. 74.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    There’s a tradition from my ethnic roots (Northern European) that humans can understand animal speak on Christmas Eve.

    Captions that spring to mind from these pictures:

    Lily: John, John, Hi John. Hi Hi Hi John, John, John, John.

    Tunch: It’s all mine. The tuna precious. Mine, Mine, Mine.

  78. 78.

    Emma

    So I go to bed at a reasonable hour and pics happen? Well!

    We have several carloads of family descending on us for late lunch/early dinner. I don’t have much to do, thank FSM, since my father has gone on a cooking spree, so we’re having congri, roast pork, yuca, tomato salad, and flan for dessert. Well, and turrones.

    (sings while dancing around) Traaaadition, tradition…

  80. 80.

    dance around in your bones

    @Skepticat: No, I’m sorry you had to do that :(

    Until a few weeks ago I was a Baja, beach, books, (well, gave up da booze) and no obligations bum. Sometimes life just changes on ya…..anyway, good on ya! and ENJOY!

  81. 81.

    Trinity

    Merry Christmas Eve to you John!

    My husband is packing up the car so that we can head to State College to spend the weekend with his family. I have been directed to keep my “cranky behind out of the way”. I am hoping the Christmas spirit carjacks us along the way. Right now, I mostly just want to snuggle in front of the TV with my husband, a good action flick, and a fresh pitcher of mimosas.

    I hope everyone enjoys the holiday and spikes as much eggnog as possible.

  83. 83.

    CarolDuhart2

    Xmas Tree Flickr.

    I have had a flickr account longer than I even had a camera, let alone a digital one. So I’ve been a bit slow to use it. But Christmas brings out the camera junky in everyone, so I’m letting you see my first pic!

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @dance around in your bones:

    Somewhere in a box full of old costume jewelry I have a small collection of what we used to call “scatter pins” shaped like Shmoon. IIRC, there are two big ones, about an inch high, and three very tiny ones not much bigger than a quarter-inch. they were my mother’s back in the early ’50s, and I claimed them after she died.

    I should dig those out and wear them sometime, just for the giggles. Or put them up on eBay and see what they’d fetch from a collector :-)

  87. 87.

    schrodinger's cat

    Tunch FTW! I was expecting to see him with antlers though, in the spirit of the season and all that.

  89. 89.

    WereBear

    @schrodinger’s cat: Yeah. Right :)

    For Roscoe’s first Christmas (malamute/collie mix) we got him a set of antlers, which greatly offended his sensibilities. We took them off and placed them on top of a high armoire; where they were mysteriously knocked down from, and then chewed to bits.

    We always figured there was collusion between him & his favorite cat for that caper.

  91. 91.

    Amir Khalid

    Random thought: I got myself a pair of black Caterpillar boots to go with my Bianca, because I’m partial to black CATs.

  93. 93.

    CaseyL

    Thanks for sharing the photos, John and everyone else.

    Tomorrow my neighbors and I perpetuate our Christmas Day tradition of eating at the Indian restaurant down the street. The first time we did this, I was amazed – and amused – by how packed the place was. I’m told Chinese restaurants are also very busy on Xmas Day.

    Other than that, not much is happening this weekend. But quite a lot is happening starting Tuesday, when I start my NEW JOB!! Not a just-happy-to-be-employed job, either, but one I’m really excited to have. I will tell y’all more after I’ve actually been there a day or two :)

  98. 98.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Amir Khalid:

    Some enterprising person should make one where you just push a button and get your choice of Romney, Gingrich, Perry, Santorum, Bachmann, Huntsman, Paul, Cain, Trump, et al.

    Because, y’know, they’re all toast!

  100. 100.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @CaseyL:

    I’m excited for you! That’s great news — and not just for you, but in a macro sense. Really makes me think that things are turning around, and that’s a good thing for millions of people. Congratulations, and do tell more once you get started.

  105. 105.

    Mark S.

    If there is still any doubt as to whether Niall Ferguson is a psuedo-intellectual wanker, this should put it to rest (via):

    This doesn’t mean I don’t admire the man [Gingrich]. I just read the transcripts of some lectures he gave in the 1990s on “Renewing American Civilization.” They positively fizz with historical insights and brilliant brain waves. They make the case against big government as vividly as anything you’ll ever read.

    Read the Daily Beast article at your peril. Niall spends about half of it describing a joke from Life of Brian (God, Niall, everybody on Earth has seen that movie; we don’t need an eight sentence synopsis). But DougJ at least should read it, because the last part is a big sloppy kiss to Mike Bloomberg and Americans Elect.

  107. 107.

    DanielX

    His royal Tunchness…IS looking a little rotund, but very healthy. Could be worse, my brother in law recently referred to our black feline as a bowling ball with eyes.

  108. 108.

    DanielX

    His royal Tunchness…IS looking a little rotund, but very healthy. Could be worse, my brother in law recently referred to our black feline as a bowling ball with eyes.

  109. 109.

    Yutsano

    @DanielX:

    Could be worse, my brother in law recently referred to our black feline as a bowling ball with eyes.

    Wars have been started over less. Just sayin’.

  111. 111.

    dance around in your bones

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hang onto them cuz you never know- you might meet a niece/nephew/grandkid who just will LOVE them.

    Have been watching ‘The Nutcracker” (1986 movie version) since 5am with grandkids who are slightly confused about when Christmas MORNING is (we had a discussion about Christmas EVE and what that means) and while I love it, the kids find it slightly scary. The Nutcracker guy looks like a serial killer or something.

  114. 114.

    Steeplejack

    Merry Christmas and happy holidays to the Juicetariat!

    I feel awesomely good right now. I was up early so I could be at the Apple Store when it opened at 8:00 to procure a Magic Trackpad for my brother’s partner’s iMac. (Bro’ man claims to be technologically challenged, but it may be a ruse to get others to do his shopping for him.) Very little traffic, I was able to park right in front of the store, and there was an army of Apple yoots waiting to help me. I was in and out in five minutes. Stopped at the grocery on the way home to pick up some last odds and ends, and I was back in the man-cave a little after 9:00, feeling like a productivity god.

    I’m going to putter around here today, make a couple of pies (mincemeat and pumpkin), maybe watch some football. I’m dog-sitting tonight, then big Christmas festivities at the brother’s house tomorrow. I just opened a bottle of champagne to nurse through the day, and I have a couple of pieces of designer cheese to nibble on. Life is good.

    Somehow I managed to get through the whole holiday season with very few negative vibes, and I am really looking forward to 2012. I hope all of you have a great holiday! This is my home on the Web, and I look forward to reading all of you every day.

  116. 116.

    Martin

    Ok, football people, here’s my dilemma: Mom is about to roll into town and expects the Patriots game that starts in an hour to be on the TiVo. According to my provider’s schedule, it’s not being broadcast here in SoCal.

    What are my alternatives? Christmas or not, that 5′ tall grandma is going to burn my house down if there’s no Tom Brady when she arrives.

  120. 120.

    dance around in your bones

    @WereBear: Good Gawd, We have a Golden Retriever named Roscoe,too!

    Bestest doggie ever – he sleeps with me every night and keeps me safe; and I take him for walks every day by the ocean and pick up his poo in little baggies (I have explained to the 24 yr old family helper that this would have been INCONCEIVABLE back in the day…picking up dog poo, hahahahaha!)

  121. 121.

    MacKenna

    Lily has the cutest ears on the planet.

    To you and yours, here’s a bunch of cute petz singing the 12 days of Christmas. (Jupiter the cat reminds me of Tunch.)

  126. 126.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    I hung out with an old time friend at a Christmas party last night. He’s part of the anybody but Obama crowd. He”s also been battling a brain tumor for several years. We inevitably wound up arguing politics. I tried explaining to him that some disadvantaged kid who was was in his situation should be able to get the same chance as him. He wasn’t buying it. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Ugh. Merry Christmas.

  129. 129.

    Perfect Tommy

    Speaking of begging, I just was friended on Facebook by a guy from NYC that was formerly homeless and I used to give money to on the street. Seems he’s turned his life around after 45 years and is now a substance abuse counselor, going to school for a degree in peer advocacy counseling. Best Christmas present in a long time.

  132. 132.

    harlana

    @Old Dan and Little Ann: i’m sitting here after watching some of that testimony of those homeless kids and wondering, how does this happen in America? how can we expect anyone to manage to succeed much less survive in such situations? we really believe this is what America is all about? also just finished reading the Taibbi piece and am just disgusted with my fellow man in general. Merry Christmas.

  133. 133.

    harlana

    the “job creators” are delicate, sensitive beings of a most fragile nature and feeling, they must be handled with the utmost care, tenderness and caution, like a priceless handblown glass ornament balanced precariously on a crystal pyramid resting on the petal of a rare, snow-white orchid

  134. 134.

    Violet

    Yay! Pet pics! Thanks, John!

    I’m off to the supermarket. Can’t believe I forgot decaf coffee when I did the grocery shopping a few days ago. Don’t keep it in the house, but a few of our guests like it, so I always have an alternate pot available with decaf for them. Oh well.

    It’s going to be a rainy Christmas here. Not complaining, as we’re still in a drought. Any rain is good. I’ll consider it a Christmas present for my garden.

  135. 135.

    gogol's wife

    I just cooked for three hours (we’re having one guest), so I’m very late to this thread. Merry Christmas everyone at Balloon Juice. Thanks for all the laughs, I need them.

  136. 136.

    Cat Lady

    Just left the nursing home where my beautiful loving mother is suffering, struggling and dying of late stage Alzheimer’s. I told her every moment of her life has been the most precious gift to me, how thankful for her I am and will always be, and how much I have always loved her and will always love her. I cried all the way home, and now I’m going to go on a long walk. Thanks Santa for giving me a mild and clear December to walk my way through this, and for everyone who has lost a loved one like dance around in your bones has, my deepest sympathy.

    Thanks for the pet pics John, and for this place to share all this life shit.

  138. 138.

    dance around in your bones

    @Cat Lady: You are so lucky that you have had the time to SAY those things to your mom, even if she doesn’t understand them right now.

    Thank you for the loving thoughts, gawd only knows that they REALLY help me.

  142. 142.

    passerby

    @Cat Lady:

    This will be the 2nd Christmas without my mom. She died of cancer (we did not know she had it) but, also had what she told us was “forgetfulness”. During her last days, while spending the nite at the hospital with her, a nurse slipped up and used the word Alzheimer’s regarding her condition.

    She didn’t reveal that to us either. A most painful memory is when she came to pick me up at the airport one holiday and as I saw her approach, I called out to her. She turned in my direction and did not recognize me. So painful.

    I will keep you and all sons and daughters who endure these experiences, for whatever lesson, in my heart with blessings and the hope that for whatever reason, we accept and grow from this.

    Peace be with you.

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